ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ก.พ. 2023
- This was a lovely and poignant conversation with comedian, writer, podcaster Grace Chung.
Grace Chung: www.gracejungcomedy.com
Full podcast version of episode: www.kdramaschool.com/episodes...
Full TH-cam version of episode: • K-Drama School - Ep 11...
I’m with ya. Where is your book? I’ve watched everything you have on TH-cam and I still want more. I just LOVE listening to you. You have a heart of gold. ❤️
How can I express how powerful this is?
The part that hit me the most was the line, "So much of trauma is avoiding bad things ever happening again." This actually helped me say to myself, "Okay, even if it happened again, I've lived through it once, so I can do it again," which loosened up something in me and I'm now less scared of the future. I also loved the imagery, "Letting earthworms crawl inside of me and letting mushrooms grow on my face." This is just a random aside, but I found it humorous that as I was watching this video, TH-cam repeatedly showed me advertisements trying to sell me marijuana, and I couldn't figure out why until I got 3/4 of the way through the video.
33:58 This is poignancy. To say something true, dark, and deeply painful, so that the tears come completely out of the blue. The shut down of awareness afterwards occurs almost instantly when Grace shuts it down verbally and mentally with a "oh it's fine". Then immediately moves on which causes the tears immediately stop. I do this too. You can see Jacob Ham tilt his head in confusion at this abrupt clouding over of a poignant moment.
random note: grace even apologizes for feeling emotions come up. You might say "oh that's just something i say", but at another level it's not "just something that's said". It matches her behavior too. To feel is bad (for some part of her), which is why she abruptly jumps over the tears asap.
54:14 "When you feel a spark of emotion, allow yourself to feel it." The spark of emotion is exactly what happend at 34:07, which some part of grace almost knee-jerkingly didn't allow herself to continue feeling. No judgement, I'd totally feel embarrassed to bawl on a such a public video too so i see the appropriateness of this wall. It does seem like Grace doesn't fully grok Jacob's point about allowing herself to feel though. She thought of what Jacob said as safety/consent, not about learning to allow herself to feel and grieve individually and in the presence of people. Even when she is responding, she talks about how she can't accept love, not exactly what Jacob said - which is to allow space for pain as well. Even her intellectualizing process kind of dances around a direct acknowledgement of his suggestion to "allow herself to feel [pain]"
I see myself a lot in Grace's tendency to quickly jump between several intellectual ideas almost as a way to fill in the space between words, poignant or not, so that there is no time to feel. My therapist notes this in me a lot. She always says "you're up here again" *pointing to her head*. To address this, I make it an "intent" before therapy sessions to allow myself to pause and feel the emotions when the words elicit tears. But at times, this is blocked and I do as Grace does: say "it's fine", and then rapidly start intellectualizing about the next thing, shoving the tears back down.
In this context, i think "becoming awareness" would mean allowing the emotions to take their natural course as they emerge due to whatever words are being spoken. In a session, this might mean pausing and just taking the time to cry, and saying the words that feel true and painful to you. Instead of "following" thoughts and rapid firing sentences as a way to gloss over feelings. (again, i do this a ton too)
This isn't meant to be harsh. Grace clearly has a very painful past with her parents. Experiencing the grief of not receiving the love she wanted from her parents is very very difficult.
This is so spot on! Bravo!
Wow, what a beautiful conversation.
I encountered Dr Jacob Ham this week for the 1st time on the @BeingWell podcast then on the @TenPercentHappier podcast. From there, I listened to some of the TH-cam conversations linked on Dr Ham’s website. Those led me here.
I’m so very grateful! This is exactly my path & my work, & has been for quite a while. I’m the granddaughter of Greek Genocide survivors who escaped from Turkey to the U.S. (Armenian/Greek Genocide).
I’ve read about epigenetic trauma related to my ancestors’ PTSD. I learned this year about cPTSD which explains so much more of my internal experiences & shines a light on my path.
If only I had access to a therapist with the heart, the bravery, the vulnerability, & the knowledge of Dr Ham. That’s a big ask.
I’m going to listen to this again, take notes, & journal about the parts that made me feel like crying.
I love Grace’s circle story of moving from anger to grief to gratitude. This offers an action I can practice. And i love the dream stories. I’ve had some vivid ones that I wrote down to never forget. Lately though, I have trouble remembering my dreams.
There is so much here from both Grace & Dr Ham. Thank you both for sharing so openly & honestly, & for posting this very intimate conversation for the rest of us to learn from.
With love & gratitude …
♥️🙏 to you 2 Pisces 🐠 ♓️
I’m the 🐐 ♑️
There is much depth in that pause and silence. I love the human finger prints on the divine in regards to her dream. I love that she was willing to share her dream. I’m share it’s like a second gift to those that know her. To find out that Jesus and her didn’t speak it tells me personally that her dream is genuine …thanks for both of you sharing your gifts.
I feel gifted and humbled by it. ;)
grateful for ur uploads. i went to seoul last year for a study abroad, and definitely i observed this really strong in Korea, and also in my own family bloodline members
Thanks for posting this Dr Ham!
Can't wait for the book!
Thank you for such a great talk
How is it that Jacob can say "You're wrong. Let me correct that," in such a way that is received with acceptance and humility, and not defensiveness. Wow
lol. It doesn't always work out like that. But, what I hope is the answer is that people can tell that I come from a place of radical candor and earnestness. And, they can tell me when I'm wrong too.
I can't wait for your book , thank you for your videos from the uk❤
Dr. Ham, did you remove the 45 minute long therapy session of the two siblings healing together? Is there a way I can share that again? That video was so beautiful. Thank you!
The only way out of pain and trauma is going THROUGH it.
So grateful to find you ❤