ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 มิ.ย. 2024
- (I re-uploaded this after making more edits and improving the subtitles)
This inspiring session, shared with full consent, is between two siblings who have been through extreme complex trauma and are now trying to rebuild their relationship. I hope it can inspire people to not give up on healing from trauma.
This session also highlights some of the foundational ways I work with trauma in a model I'm developing called Trauma Informed Engagement Strategies (TIES). The gist of it is to have a deep understanding of how trauma impacts behavior, relationships and coping, along with an attuned sensitivity to managing survival states of mind, and coaxing forth greater intentionality, clarity, compassion and vulnerability. Maybe some day, I'll have time to break down what I mean in greater detail...
TRIGGER WARNING (ABUSE): We discuss some very graphic and harrowing abuse.
0:00 Trigger Warning & Intro
0:23 Start of Session
0:31 Bro wants to maintain principles when triggered & Ham suggests focusing on compassionate curiosity
1:00 Ham discusses trauma and encourages him to ignore the anger and focus on the hurt
3:11 Sibs discuss their abuse history
5:56 Ham interrupts criticism with compassion
7:43 Bro cycles into escalation talking about little sister's disrespect
8:48 Ham interrupts escalation and pulls for poignancy
9:48 Ham interrupts escalation and asks for self-compassion
11:02 Ham reframes rejection as hurt
11:34 Sis invites forgiveness and authenticity about being survivors
17:23 Bro triggers sis with "Claims" and sis withdraws
19:40 Bro triggered by sis' withdrawal and shares his abuse and abandonment by sis
21:56 Ham helps bro pull pack and speak from his hurt
22:54 Ham helps bro realize he is triggered
23:17 Ham helps bro be compassionately curious about Sis
26:15 Ham invites compassion towards Bro's triggered reaction
30:08 Ham interrupts defensive explanations with heartache
31:47 Bro wraps up with levity
33:56 Ham turns to post-traumatic growth
35:54 Ham summarizes trauma and the brain again
40:01 Ham pulls for attachment
41:18 Ham reframes sis's abandonment as going to get help
44:08 Poetic Soldier
Dr Ham, you simply must upload more content. This interaction modeled how to be vulnerable, honest, interrupt internal defense mechanisms and refocus on intent, emotions and the perspective of the other.
The timestamps and signposts are very helpful.
I broke and came together with your clients - who came such a long way in just one session. I wish them peace and joy and thank them for sharing.
I'm glad you appreciated what was happening!
Ham....I can’t even put into words how phenomenal this interchange is. Within certain communities we are extremely triggered by words and we completely bypass feelings. And we’re taught to always be strong so when we see others in a weak state, that triggers us because we learned early on that vulnerability is dangerous.
You are doing an amazing work for so many. I hope you also take time for your well-being too ❤️
thank you for joining us in this session
WOW. Just fucking WOW. Thank you for sharing this. After years & years of unsuccessful talk therapy, I've been on my own cPTSD healing journey to deal with my hoarding issues. Read Stephanie Foo's book and found my way here. You're a true inspiration, Dr. Ham. The world needs to clone you millions of times over!
Wonderful, inspiring, moving. Thank you so much for sharing this and all the content. You are making such a difference. Keep going! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm trying to make more space in my life to do so!
This line hits differently ‘Stop listening to words and start listening to feelings’ Thank you for sharing this, it really helps in learning healthy form of communication.
Yeah, that's a really good point to pick up on. I'm constantly having to say this to people.
This brought me to tears at one point (right before the end, when Dr. Ham was reframing the abandonment, it was so surprising and yet so miraculously right). This was so dope, it was real, it was a transcendent moment. Thank you so much for sharing this.
This was a bless to me on my healing journey
Yes, me too. Thank you Dr. Ham.
This was amazing. Thank you for sharing it. I keep thinking of this verse re: anger from abandonment as part of intergenerational trauma
As the world turns, I spread like germs
Bless the globe with the pestilence, the hard-headed never learn
It's my testament to those burned
Play my position in the game of life, standing firm
On foreign land, jump the gun out the frying pan
Into the fire, transform into the Ghost Rider
A six-pack and A Streetcar Named Desire
Who got my back? In the line of fire, holding back
What? My peoples if you with me, where the fuck you at?
Incredibly inspiring to see the process of healing so authentically. Would love to have more content like this. Thank you to the siblings who allowed the recording of this session. It helped me.
Working on a podcast to show more like this!
I hope you make more videos 😊
I will try!
Loved how this session went. I too found you through Stephanie Foo’s book. I really appreciate your language & style of therapy. I hope you share more insight through you tube. Finding a good therapist is tragically hard
Dear Dr. Ham,
I am so impressed by your ability to adapt to the client’s style of communicating while still remaining professional and very empathic. That’s very admirable. I am a counselor in training and I just question my ability to ever be as good as or even close to how good you are at this. In this clip, I can see how important this is to how clients respond to you and the effectiveness of your work. Based on your own experience, how important is this ability in therapy, and how can I learn or become better at this myself? I feel that I tend to be a bit too careful with my clients, maybe even too nice sometimes, and use this same style with all of my clients. I would be glad to get some tips.
Wow, his humility is outstanding and she definitely loves her brother. Thank you for sharing this Dr. Ham and the siblings involved!!
Wow this was so powerful . Thank you for sharing .
Thank you
This is absolutely incredible. I was moved.
Beautiful work. Inspiring. Thank you.
Wow! Thank you Dr. Ham for the powerful healing work you are doing. This was a very profound exchange, very insightful. Thank you for sharing it with us. Many of us are doing Life in autopilot. Maybe we are in survival brain and don't realize we Think about things and we don't connect to our hearts to really Feel the emotions of an experience, to be vulnerable and feel the feelings, not just think through a painful experience. Thank you for your YT Channel. I am a huge fan of your work. Blessings 🙏💕
He was great and understanding.