Autism and Childhood Trauma - Exploring a Taboo Topic
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 พ.ย. 2024
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(P.S. In case anyone is wondering, I am no fan of Bruno Bettelheim, who I see as having done a great disservice to the study of this topic!)
I was diagnosed with autism at 14 years old, during a period of time where I was non-functional, too depressed to take basic care of myself, unable to engage socially, or behave in age-appropriate behavior at all. A 30 minute survey/questionnaire about my behavior led to a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (or Aspergers, at the time), social anxiety, and major depressive disorder. PTSD was never brought up as a possibility, though I understand now that I experienced major trauma in early childhood. (Physically and verbally abusive parents, severe emotional neglect and being left in isolation for most of the time in early childhood, self-harm and suicidal ideation by the time I was 8 or 9). I do think I probably have autism, but my symptoms were entirely exacerbated by abuse. This is almost certainly true for others, but is usually left totally unexplored in therapy. The autism diagnosis has taught my parents that the only problem in my childhood was not having such a diagnosis sooner. As if a neurotypical child would have been able to withstand abuse, and the only problem was my mental "weakness". Thank you for your insight and bringing up these questions.
Within 2 seconds of hearing the diagnosis, they act like they are now armed with revolutionary new information, even though they didn't learn anything, and not long after that, they pretend they have done something of value with this information. Same here.
@@gloriouscontent3538 Indeed. It didn't help me and I have gotten worse in some areas and no longer trust the mental health system. The system isn't equipped to handle men or women like me at all and they know it.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
I find this point interesting and feel the same. My childhood wasn't as traumatic as this, but I did grow up with a mentally unstable parent and a lot of screaming and fighting. One moment that parent might be fine, next they were telling me how defective I was, then they were overly affectionate and treating me like I was a baby and next they were yelling again and telling me how cold I was because I didn't react correctly and threatening to move out.
This type of behaviour can cause any child to close down and show autism-like behaviour. However my siblings don't seem to have the same social issues I have. I know autism or Asperger's was discussed during my childhood and I've thought about it a lot. I think it's a strong possibility. But my old therapist said that he didn't feel comfortable diagnosing me, because so much of my "problems" could be explained with the environment I grew up in.
I think if I had been in a stable home, I could have benefited from the diagnosis. However I didn't. And now, as an adult, I feel I don't even want the diagnosis. Not because I would be embarrassed, but because I don't feel like it would benefit me in any way. There's no extra support, and the issues I have are the same, whether I'm on the spectrum or not. I can only try to cope with them and maybe learn some better ways to proses and express my emotions. Mostly I feel that the diagnosis would absolve that parent from their responsibility. I know they would be happy to say that, "oh so that's why you are the way you are", "that's what's wrong with you ".
I believe that a lot more people are neurodiverse than we think, but they never had the trauma necessary for developing many of the symptoms required for a diagnosis.
Most people will not seek an ASD diagnosis unless they're struggling with other mental health issues and if they've had supporting parents, they will have no need to validate their unique neurology with a label.
Parents get passes all the time. Especially in divorce which is extremely traumatizing if you're an only child and you're constantly getting triangulated!
If one parent says the other is rotten and the other swears their ex-partner a nut what conclusions can a child make of their mixture?
Of course they get a pass in divorce. A split up is the perfect opportunity to blame your partner.
@@maebandy you know what else is traumatic? Growing up in a household where your parents are unhappy and constantly at each others' throats and tell you about it. Divorce is not the problem, it's how the parents allow their situation to impact the quality of their relationship with the child.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
I can only imagine how many of us subscribed to this channel are only children!! 35 years old and just realizing my reality was twisted and there was not anyone there to witness and validate my very rational behaviors and personality as it developed. Right now, not until right now, do I feel like my survival as an Actually Alive Engaged Human is at risk if I don’t stop protecting their sickness and start working on my own healing.
Assuming that some cases of "autism" are biological, these individuals might be more susceptible to trauma anyways because they're frequently misunderstood by others, making them prone to mistreatment/abuse. So while childhood trauma can lead to autism-like traits, conversely having autism-like traits can lead to more trauma.
No. I do not believe it is any more 'biological' than having depression, anxiety, FAS, allergies, asthma, etc., ad nauseum. We have invested in such steered research to keep us from embracing wellness and equity focused societies. It all comes down to environments defined by inequity, oppression, and competition. All of it.
@@Mark-tl1yp and where did you get your neuropsych degree from?
@@ellieb.4468 Do you disagree?
I heartily recommend the work of Dr.s Gabor Mate and Peter Breggin as a starting point, that is if you require epistemes rooted in the biomedical model (which has engineered and predictably benefited from the duality-based mind/body view of wellness and health). Otherwise, for a more holistic and broad perspective, read Erich Fromm, Arundhati Roy, Alice Miller, Chris Hitchens, Vandana Shiva, Noam Chomsky, etc, etc, You may conclude, as I have, that all things are indeed connected, interrelated and one.
@@Mark-tl1yp were you implying that those things have no connection to biology? I'm confused
Having experienced this first hand and gone on to receive and autism diagnosis, all I can say is I love this guy, he speaks the truth. The ugly truth that no one wants to hear. I have many autistic friends and ALL of them, EVERY SINGLE one of them, when we talk about our families have the same stories of trauma caused by cluster B personality disordered parents. To my knowledge no one in the field of psychology is aware of this or even seems to consider the fact that PARENTS are the single biggest influence on a child's development, for good or bad. This is one of the reasons why I don't trust the field of psychology or the people in it who have drunk the kool-aid and regurgitate what they are told without thinking for themselves. This guy is the only person I've seen that seems to be connected to reality.
I lived my life as an "autistic" person, severely disconnected from social reality and woke up at age 35 when the dissociation survival habit that I had learned as a child wore off. My father is a violent psychopathic narcissist who would get drunk and beat me (just enough to terrorize me but not inflict enough physical harm that there would be evidence to condemn him). He then further terrorized me by threatening to kill me if I told anyone. In case you are wondering, yes, there are such people and they do these kinds of things and get away with it. He singled me out for his abuse, for whatever reason and then scapegoated me when I was "different" because of what he had done. I was so traumatized that I took to dissociating from reality in order to survive and so missed out on developing socially and emotionally. I remained a child in my mind even in adult's body (extremely naive) and instead of anyone seeing that as a trauma response and helping me or protecting me, I was further victimized by society at large.
My personality disordered parents acted like my differences were willful disobedience on my part and never lifted a finger to help or protect me. And then the dissociation lifted at age 35 and here I am a middle aged person with a lifetime of unresolved trauma and not a single person in the helping profession who understands.
daniel is on different level indeed
I woke up at age 30, did you advance in the social scene ?
@@idan4989 Oh my gosh no. I wasn't aware enough to keep people in my life. And I lived it as though I was running from my childhood. Always moving and changing jobs. When I woke up I tried to reconnect with some people but I found most don't still consider you a friend if you vanished from their lives. Regardless of the reason.
Did you?
@@jessesapolski8649 i think most people doesn't worth the hassle because "friendships" nowdays is mostly fake
@@idan4989 that does seem to the be the pattern. I find most people have a very different idea of what it means to be friends than I do. Seems most fight to stay in their comfort zones at all costs
There has been a concerted effort to classify all disorders that we used to acknowledge as caused by trauma, as biological/inborn. I am nearly 100% convinced that autism is one of them, among so so many others.
There are so many ways to scapegoat a child
Never thought about it before. I used to be socially awkward, withdrawn, didn't want to be touched, had a hard time understanding what people were asking me and understanding their emotions, didn't know what to do with friends, avoided eye contact, and preferred to be alone. I'm not autistic at all (not even close!). I think I was scared.
scared of what ?
@@NOT_SURE..
Of people.
@@xrc7445 Damn right. My mother was scary. She was unpredictable. Nice one minute and yelling at me the next. Threatening to hurt me or kill me. So, in extrapolation, everyone seemed scary to me. Being alone was the only logical choice.
So you struggle with none of those things anymore?
That's good! But you're also making unfair (stereotypical) assumptions about the things that autistic people struggle with. My almost-3 year old is on the spectrum but isn't withdrawn, seems good with eye contact, loves snuggling. But I have no idea how much he is already masking. There are certainly times where eye contact and touch seem to cause him stress and physical discomfort, esp when he's emotional. Yes most of us struggle with connection in times of stress, i get that. My point is that the things you listed are those that overlap with other mental helath struggles?
Did you toe walk or flap as a kid? Did you verbally "tic" with repetitive phrasing or sounds? Did you script scenes from movies at 2-1/2 even though you refuse to use more than a dozen words to functionally communicate (ie asking for help, for food or drink, or for some other want/need)? And just because I listed some of the things my kiddo did/does, that still isn't encompassing of ASD.
I shouldn't say someone ISN'T on the spectrum simply bc they didn't struggle with these things. My 3yo son rarely has meltdowns (unlike my 4 yo also on the spectrum who DEFINITELY did ugh!! Screaming inconsolibly for 7 hours straight, days on end, never sleeping more than 45 min at a a time until he was almost 2 (sob!!!) nothing physically wrong -- his naturopathic pediatrician looked into EVERYTHING, trust me (sob)). I never realized that an under-reaction to stimuli could also be an indication of ASD! I just thought I had a calm child. But now I know that even tho he may be stoic externally, it's possible that he's feeling chaos inside. Poor guy is probably suffering in silence!
He'll cut his foot, cry out for a second, and then go about his day like it's no big deal. But if i go to comfort him, it's like a switch goes off where he recognizes it's ok for him to feel XYZ, and he lets loose. (And no this is different than him "manipulating" mommy for attention, lol he does that too just like all kids!)
All this to say -- if you had an ASD diagnosis, you don't just grow out of it. That's not possible.
@@NeuroSeasoned to be fair, Caroline didn't say she had an ASD diagnosis - actually, she was very clear she wasn't at all autistic. There was no insinuation anyone (including herself) ever thought she qualified for such a label. She was merely contributing her observation that she'd presented with some symptoms that overlap (while not being autistic herself) where it was clear her case (& symptoms) were reactions to environment - a relevant enough observation, I feel, in the context of this video, and that's as far as she took it. I don't think it fair to accuse her of making "unfair stereotypical assumptions" about things autistic people struggle with; for one, she in no way said every autistic person suffers the symptoms she had; for two, autism is a psych diagnosis, and as such, being diagnosed with autism necessarily involves comparing behaviours against a type of checklist which includes the type of things Caroline mentioned. Yes, there is variety in behaviours and presentations, but the nature of diagnosis-by-criteria is that there *are* certain behaviours that need to be exhibited to a sufficient extent to get the label. Failure to make eye contact, while not required, is a classic "symptom". And currently, one of the areas where a child MUST have a persistent deficit using DSM-5 criteria is:
"2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication."
If something of this type is not exhibited, the child doesn't qualify for the label, because that's how DSM diagnosis works. A withdrawn kid who stops making eye contact, blanks out facial expression & stops social interactions will get a tick for the above criterion whether it's out of self-preservation or for reasons of biology. Same applies to the stoicism/meltdown cycles that can happen to kids trying to survive in "unsafe" volatile environments and aren't equipped to cope. (I will note that, unlike the above, behaviours like flapping, while also quite classic, are not "required" - that comes under a more open "any one of the following four..." section, so it's part of the more flexible criteria).
I know it doesn't seem satisfactory to make diagnoses by comparing behaviours against what, frankly, does amount to stereotype matching, but that's the unsatisfactory nature of psychiatric "diagnosis".
For the record, there are studies suggesting a small proportion of children with ASD don't retain the diagnosis as adults (eg. doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.12178). They're the minority, but data suggests they exist, and that it can't be explained by "Oh, guess they were just misdiagnosed". Though, in fairness, early intervention is implicated as a factor, so perhaps the chances of a child "growing out of it" without any intervention at all are negligible.
Having said that, though Caroline did say "I used to be", she didn't specifically say she struggles with none of those things anymore - and I really do hope she doesn't, as someone who's suffered that kind of upbringing and is hyper vigilant about being attacked by people is quite likely to be sensitive to such critical reactions to a comment made in good faith (and with some vulnerability). Even if she's managed to improve her outward interactions with people, I daresay your comment took her back a bit, if she happened to read it. Most of us who "recover" from our lives, even if we feel we've resolved matters and are thriving, don't come out of it "as if the vase was never broken".
I get that you are also probably (and quite understandably) a bit sensitive to the opinions people have on the subject, given the great challenges you have to deal with every day with children on the spectrum, but I don't think you've been fair with the comment Caroline made here (which really didn't rise to being the opinion you've attributed to her). I get why, in your situation, where you've no doubt taken great care, made great sacrifices, and clearly have great compassion for your children, you might be feeling understandably sensitive and defensive to a "I have reasons to believe parents are to blame at least some of the time" video, but you seem to be putting things on to Caroline that just aren't fairly placed.
I know 2 autistic people, unrelated to each other completely. It could be a coincidence but both had extremely abusive fathers and the 2 mothers never addressed this in the family. Blaming the child seems common with a narcissistic parent.
I don’t know a single autistic with a good parent. Though it’s really hard to measure parenting of someone whose spoiled and abused. It’s a scale on a spectrum of topics.
But in short alot of them are enabled until they’re disabled. When no one’s tried to save them…
Due to the innate personality type of the child, or rather, the lack of personality, all it takes is a high stress environment(like parents fighting frequently) to cause a baby to develop ASD. The ones who remain non verbal, even with early intervention, are most likely being abused very badly. I know a child who was diagnosed with ASD at age 2.5, and he was successful with therapy, but will always be on the spectrum. I do believe that these children, if not born into a scary environment, grow up to be primary psychopaths. It seems that male children may be more susceptible to developing ASD as a result of this type of trauma in infancy. It’s super rare for baby girls to be diagnosed with ASD at all. And honestly, I think that the majority of females who show symptoms of aspergers later in life actually have C-PTSD, and are not primary psychopaths.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
@@katieandnick4113 thats not true ms Katie you are very much ill informed
My boyfriends nephew was diagnosed with autism and looking back I think his mom is a narcissistic person or has traits of it because none of the other family members are like her super miserable and controlling. And my boyfriends dad was super abusive growing up and it makes me wonder if he has autism because he lacks empathy I feel as though I’m having to do everything in the relationship. He was providing for a long time with the things I needed financially which I knew was wrong and I fixed I’m in a job I love so I’m doing well and paying my rent now adulting I suppose 😂 but I feel like emotionally I’m having to do everything in the relationship. I took a pause and am just not talking to him I get sick of having to do everything. It’s like the roles are reversed.
I couldn’t agree more.. I am almost certain this is the case for me.
@@drts6955 that is really interesting.. I don’t remember him mentioning that but I know my story would make so much sense if this were the case for me personally. I think a lot can definitely change the brain afterwards too.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
Thank you so much for making this video! I totally agree with what you’re saying.
I was actually diagnosed with autism but instead have for a long time thought I had trauma and have been crying to find someone with the viewpoint as myself.
I grew up in a household with parents constantly fighting, a dad with severe anger issues and didn’t accept me for myself, and later a brother who was often violent. I also have experienced other forms of childhood trauma outside the family. However unfortunately I am yet to see a professional who can definitively say I have childhood trauma and not autism.
I wasn’t diagnosed with autism until my late teens, when I was in an adolescent psychiatric unit. I didn’t fit in and acted out and as a result my treating psychiatrist thought I had “mild sub spectrum autism traits”.
This lead me to seeing a psychologist who agreed and sent me to a different psychiatrist who used the 3Di assessment process to diagnose me with autism spectrum disorder (level 2). The 3Di assessment is designed for use in children around preschool age, in which parents are asked questions about their child’s behaviour. When used on adolescents or adults, the clinician asks the parents questions of how their child acted that age not how they are now. I strongly disagreed with my parents observations of me, and tried to make clear to the clinician I have trauma rather than autism but it was to no use. The doctor merely wrote “The patient’s account of her difficulties is somewhat contradictory to that given by her parents” and later “while it is clear the patient has experienced some very traumatic experiences, some of these experiences may have occurred as a result of her neurodivergent presentation and should not be seen therefore as inconsistent with the diagnosis of ASD”. In other words, that my trauma was caused by having autism and not the other way round.
I also really resonated with what you said about many clinicians not resolving or even being aware of their childhood traumas. I feel that has been my experience with many, and it’s been difficult to even discuss trauma in the sessions because of this. Some try to send me to a “higher level of care” and others straight up don’t believe I have trauma.
Also I really liked what you said about the shift away from the refrigerator mother theory to autism being biological. I’ve found reading the history of autism to be fascinating and rather than changes to understanding of autism being scientific I think instead much more closely align cultural, political and economic shifts. Two excellent articles on the history of autism include ‘I Don’t Believe in Autism’ by Anders Lee
and also ‘The Autism Paradox’ by Bonnie Evans.
www.madinamerica.com/2019/02/i-dont-believe-in-autism/
aeon.co/essays/the-intriguing-history-of-the-autism-diagnosis
As Anders Lee points out “The first recorded use of “autism” was in 1911, by the Swiss psychiatrist Eugen Bleuler, who named it after the Greek word autos, meaning “self.” He thought autism was itself part of another controversial spectrum he had also introduced to the world: schizophrenia. Like many medical scholars of his era, Bleuler was a eugenicist. He believed in sterilizing people who had been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Without this measure, he argued in his Textbook of Psychiatry, “our race must rapidly deteriorate.”
Lee also discusses how Dr Hans Asperger, for whom Asperger’s Syndrome is named after, called this condition “Autistic psychopathy”, and described these people as “mentally retarded people” with “crackpot interests,” that would “roam the streets… grotesque and dilapidated, talking loudly to themselves or unconcernedly to passers-by.”
Lastly I just want to add that many of the symptoms described of autism mirror that of childhood trauma, particularly that of early childhood. Where ‘Lack of interest in peers’ occurs in both autism and childhood trauma, in autistic children it’s described as “deficits in social-emotional reciprocity” and “social withdrawal” in children with trauma. Repetitive play may be outlined as “repetitive use of objects in” in people with autism, or “intrusive thoughts” and “trauma reenactment” in people with trauma. Similarly outbursts in autistic individuals may be “inflexible insistence to routines and sameness” and “emotion dysregulation” in traumatised individuals.
Thank you again for posting this Daniel, and I always look forward to hearing your fantastic insights!
Thank you for sharing----we, as a culture, must admit that we've gotten this, like SO many things, WRONG! And the reason for getting it wrong is that we are terrified to look too deep into anything, and indeed, are content to barely scratch the surface. So sad.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.
Autism-blame is real.
Indeed. Diagnosed with PTSD at 18yr, i've seen countless professionals over the years and finally at 60 have been diagnosed with ASD.
Trauma is what removed our blindness and not theirs.
Suffering grows us into worthwhile persons when we allow it, letting it have its perfect result, rendering us complete, lacking in nothing.
Thanks for this. I've long suspected there was some connection between abuse and 'Aspergers'. I was severely abused by my mother and my father allowed her to do whatever she wanted with me. Although I was never officially diagnosed I identified strongly with both cluster-b personality disorders and Aspergers. At points in my life I thought I had BPD as a result of the abuse I endured from my parents. At other points in my life I believed maybe I was abused because I had Aspergers and I was a difficult child and my parents were too incompetent to deal with me.
Thank you for sharing this.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
Growing up, my mom worked a 9-12 hour shift while my dad sat behind his computer everyday. I was the first child and didn’t have anyone to interact with until age 3, when my first sister was born. But we never got along. I don’t know anyone in my family with autism, however, my dad went years without going out or bringing any friends over. I was later diagnosed with a form of autism known as Aspergers at age 7. I didn’t find out until I was 10 when the doctor asked my mom if I had anything. And I didn’t find out about my other diagnosis until the my 7th-8th grade teachers decided to have a meeting about me, despite doing ok in school. I remember a time before I started kindergarten when my mom put me in my room for bothering my sister. I watched the clock as hours passed and decided to come out of my room. My mom said that she forgot about me and she kept laughing about it. So yah. I think multiple factors contributed to my Aspergers. I spent the passed decade in school, almost always alone in the cafeteria and in most other places. Currently, I’m alone in my room, typing this, while my grandparents watch tv. I don’t have a predilection for isolation, but wouldn’t rather be bored to death. I find that the interests and little obsessions of people are extremely boring, time wasteful, and embarrassing for them to admit.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
That's hard, man. The kind of abandonment you went through sure sounds like a rough pill to swallow. I would be enraged if I ever witnessed parents doing this to their child.
I hope you're doing fine!
Wow i feel like I couldve wrote this, that is exactly how my childhood was too. Im sorry you had to go through that. Its not easy.
I thought I had autism, then I read about cptsd and then I didn’t think I had autism anymore.
Im getting in touch more with the emotional reality of my childhood and it turns out it wasn’t all that good
I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult in less than 30 minutes after a 3 month journey, it was almost obvious to the psychiatrist. All I could think to myself was “finally, some of my experiences are validated.” Now what? I thought. Because I knew my behaviours and symptoms were recognized, but I knew that wasn’t all. Reading up on CPTSD and talking to my mom about my childhood broke me. I wasn’t prepared for how my search for the root of my issues would HURT HURT HURT. It took a lot for me to overcome the feeling of powerlessness to then give up my power in general, because whatever I have to do to heal myself is going to take everything in me.
Don’t blame yourself for how you are, because there really was no other way.
I know 2 guys who were molested as kids and both of them were autistic.
I'm not diagnosed with autism, however I had a traumatic childhood, and I was VERY socially retarded as a teen to the point that teachers thought I was autistic
Childhood trauma fucks people up. Specially your social skills.
My son has autism and adhd and has had symptoms since before he was one year old. Stimming and hardly verbal. I’ve been home with him that entire time and my husband works at home too. He got all our attention and love. We love him either way. He’s very loving and happy laughs a lot and fun loving kind and gentle. Occasionally we did argue maybe after he was asleep at night. He has siblings now they love him too. He is not a problem for us. The rest of the world is the problem if they don’t like him for how he is!
Daniel, I study psychology as well, and I've managed to also get away (VIA no contact) from two narcissistic parents, and a pretty malignant enforcer of a sibling. When I think about how badly I need to detach from people, self-isolate, dissociate/when traumatic events were escalating well into adulthood; I can literally see how a young child could be stunted badly into a very different reality, just like how people on the spectrum have symptoms that make sense with early childhood trauma, something that impacted a child so dramatically, the real self essentially is deeply protected under barriers/walls, created as a survival tactic on a very sensitive soul! That's how it would make sense to me, I think it's very plausible thing that most people would not want to accept! I think about how much my childhood trauma was overlooked by just about everyone, based on my parents success level in life; so I could only imagine how little the general public or even academics would want to accept this theory. It makes sense to me, maybe not all cases, but I bet there are plenty of cases where childhood trauma caused Autism. People are always debating why Autism is on the rise, chemicals etc; to me it's clear, as family life becomes narcissistic, detached, lacking love, spirituality, respect, boundaries etc, brain disorders, nervous system disorders, etc, are eventually going to be realized as a generational issue regarding toxic family dynamics! Really enjoy your videos, and perspective on the human mind - based on everything I've studied over the years, you really know your stuff well! Proud of you for escaping your toxic scenario, self-realizing, and overcoming your situation, and being able to see, and successfully understand your reality (I personally know how hard that is).
So here's just one perspective...
My neural circuits were established and developed in a brutal, chaotic, hotbed of psychiatric disorders -- that started more than a decade before I was conceived. I was labeled a "horrible child," because I refused to sleep, screamed at inconvenient times, ran away (or wondered off while no one was watching), had melt downs at school, or "pretended" to be mute. I was odd, awkward, too much, not applying myself, too spacey, too serious, too intense, too much and not enough of everything.
No one mentioned autism. But no one mentioned PTSD either. They said impulsive, willful, unmotivated, a handful, disruptive, lost in a world of her own, suicidal, promiscuous, disappointing.
Nobody ever once looked past me to my father's or mother's dysfunctions. They had a patient, a problem. I finally achieved zreo contact at 23. It took 2 decades of therapy to know my own mind. Nearly two additional decades later, ASD is the latest label for us weird girls.
But I'm old now and can't imagine how anyone, credentialed or otherwise, could begin to tease apart the neurological from the psychological. It's academic at this point.
I have a tiny, quiet, little life with another outcast. I have a small recovery community and 2 good friends. I have pets (that I'm not altogether suited for), plants, a cluttered house, a couple of hobbies. I've never figured out the job piece. Even when it seems like a fit, they get kooky, or I do. It rarely ends well. I doubt it will ever get all that much better.
I take anxiety meds, seizure meds, sleep meds, antipsychotic meds. I don’t drink, eat sugar or white flour. I'm still overweight by about 55lbs. Spend too much time on Facebook and TH-cam (where this post appeared on my feed).
It's interesting vlog fodder, but does it help with any issues? The answer to Why is the booby prize unless it leads to What to do in real time. That's a video I keep hoping would pop up.
Hey Daniel, I have SPECT scans of my autism brain and I’ve deduced the exact same conclusions you have - it is the parents. The scan showed a major issue with the orbital frontal cortex - there was no blood flow there. I can’t tell if that’s the sign for major depression or schizophrenia, but the spect scan research shows it is in fact reversible (albeit difficult). Please respond if you read this!!
Hi! I'm no brain scan expert by any means, but from what I've read psychological trauma can affect the brain... So presumably healing trauma can as well.... But one thing I know for sure: when awful and stressful things happen to little kids, this affects their lives, their behavior, their thoughts, their personality, their self-perceptions, their attitudes toward the world.... Wishing you the best! Daniel
"Horrible things" are so normalized that "the horrible" is not even recognized as such---isn't it strange how when young adults are healthy and "well-adjusted" that everyone says that the parents did a great job, but when the opposite occurs the parents are rarely held accountable for doing a horrible job unless it is overt neglect/abuse?
This applies to ADHD as well, and many other disorders. Bipolar, borderline, schizophrenia, narcissism... abuse is torture. Torture during development is complex, developmental trauma; severe damage. Child abuse is _extremely_ common. Abusive people re-enact their own childhood abuse, repeating the cycles in the next generations, often intentionally - they feel entitled to do unto others what was done to them. Parents get a free pass, partly because abusive people perpetuate the myth there's nothing to find by scrutinising; partly because good people are in denial about the severity of the problem. Nobody wants to believe their parents, who were supposed to care and nurture, were instead careless and sadistic. Early traumatic experiences are often difficult/impossible to recall, but those experiences still impact us, and the subconscious remembers everything.
I've seen many children who couldn't focus on anything at all, with no attention span, like I was when I was little. That's what happens when a little kid is being tortured at home and there's no safety, no escape, no one to care and intervene. Monster parents act like they're such victims and martyrs for having such difficult, embarrassing, inconvenient children to put up with, when they are the one's causing the children to disintegrate. Any time you see a kid acting out or misbehaving... consider, what is happening to them at home?
I observe this ALL THE TIME. Parents are always protected and even deified. It is a huge problem that I see. When I first confronted my childhood trauma and at the time stupidly mentioned to an acquaintance that I had verbally made my mother aware of my molestation at age 5 by my father I was told by this person that I was a terrible person bc how could I hurt my mother with telling her what had happened to me as a child. I couldn’t believe this adult woman actually getting angry at ME the child victim of such horrific abuse. This would actually be the response by many so called friends of mine. I had the hutzpah though to say to them ur asking the wrong question. The question should be how in world did this adult parent do such a thing to a child of 5 years old. I notice that the attitude is always “protect the parent at all costs. The deification of parents in our society is ubiquitous. It is also disgusting and unacceptable to dismiss the children and even adult children survivors. Throughout my long over 20 year recovery process I’m still witnessing this everyday and everywhere. It has to stop. Btw I have ADHD which just read recently it is on the spectrum of AUTISM. I was surprised but I believe it. If this is incorrect please someone tell me. Ty .
I completely agree with you, Daniel. And the same happens with ADD and other diagnosis.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
You are so right. People just have to label everything and everybody. And get some mysterious stranger to fix the problem they created.
Sounds right to me.
I'm a fellow sufferer of brutal, horrific, childhood trauma delivered in my presence, by parents that were certainly old enough to have known better. Or, so I thought.
The most damaging aspect is that there was never an apology offered later in life when we were all adults.
I yearned for it desperately but it never came, and it never will now.
introversion to escape trauma and find safety
Yes, stay under the radar.
A very interesting video. I have CPTSD from being raised by narcissistic alcoholic parents but wondered off and on throughout the decades if I am also a HF autistic. My latest conclusion is that I don't think I am autistic or if so, marginally. I had some behavours as a kid which could seem to be autistic. I liked arranging my toys - was that an OCD response to the trauma or actual autism? Or simply that I had an artistic flair lol. I had social anxiety and difficulty making friends. My mother used to like telling me all this stuff about how I was/am so weird which of course affected my self confidence and fueled my social anxiety. Add to this all the ways narcissist parents undermine their children. I definitely think that trauma can produce autism-like responses in some children, especially if they are highly sensitive or a little shy.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
Wow your videos are exactly in line with my views. I feel that half of the cases are exactly what you are stating. I'm aware of traumatic and addicted parents who have a spectrum neurodiverse child. I have some of these spectrum traits but I'm not ASD. However I'm from a dysfunctional family To me this is epigenetics and generations of trauma/PTSD/CPTSD damaging the child in utero. YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH 100 %.
ACA, John Bradshaw,Bob Earll and many others lit the way for me. THIS VIDEO WILL BE THE FUTURE.
There are ASD groups missing this by a mile plus having an outraged reaction to theories you espouse. Epigenetics,trauma, ACA/Dysfunctional families is the path. Not looking into this is tantamount to curing cancer with leaches. GOOD WORK!
I’m not a Christian anymore but in the Bible it talks about how if one doesn’t cut that toxicity in their family when grown it will be passed down from generation to generation and it seems like that is what is happening to me. I was diagnosed with BPD then Bipolar and am a nerudivergent or whatever you call it. But yes the mental health field doesn’t care it’s sad. I just keep thinking they project like that last diagnosed of Bipolar is def not me 😂.
The propensity for human extremism as a pattern always fascinates me because you can see it everywhere. First it was the frigid mother as the only cause for autism but when certain things didn't add up with that explanation the pendulum swung to the other extreme of it's all biological. As if reality is that straightforward and simple. It's probably a combination of the two as you suggest. Discerning which part is biological and which part isn't is where it gets confusing.
emotion switches on gene expression, generations of overcompensation fortify the epigenetic traits for maladaptive coping instinct. Autoplay kicked on the Paris Bennett tragedy again last night and as I was exercising my aggression out on the stains in my carpet, I was reminded again of how harmful and quickly familial abuse can become horrific because of well-intentioned high-intellect behavioral compensation. The controversial three generation theory lays it out pretty clearly. I hope it comes to mass-realization soon is that even worse than abuse is parental neglect, emotional neglect the worst of it. Because it isn't physical trauma it's insidious and shrivels people's compassion and capacity for connection without the tell-tale bruises and bite marks society currently requires as proof. We know that societal isolation is the worst punishment for the subject and the society they are subsequently re-released upon. The brain is a social organ that craves and needs connection to calibrate and orient itself towards acceptable behavior and response. Aim for the middle, stop pushing children towards gifted extremes and rewarding overtime with more money now. Overtime wages should be funneled into a health savings account for the future treatment you or your family will need for the lost time and sleep. The goals being set on other side of the field blatantly dismisses the fact that to win we have to be working towards the same goal. But, as long as we have so many people living in survival mode our brains will never be able to continue their halted evolution towards more cognitive and empathetic dominance.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
It's very much also the environment of the medical system and food industries. We poison ourselves. This does alter genetic expression and produce social problems along with it. Pregnancy care needs to change too. It is so sad how many unnecessary c-sections are given which not only alter the digestive health of the baby but also increase health and emotional issues for mom...which then affects the baby again even more.
We have seen many cases of parents murdering their disabled children and getting minimal sentences, if any at all. Because society does side with the parents.
I was officially diagnosed with asd this year, but I knew it since the first day of 2020 ( the pandemic didnt help getting the diagnosis first). I agree that not only the psychiatrist should diagnose someone, but having a brain scan is the most effective way, and probably with 100% proof of neurodiversity. And yes, childhood trauma is prevelant in autistic people. Specially at school where bullies own us and teachers let them pass. I want to live a peaceful life away from my parents and family and leave this country that is mentally unstable. There is a guy, Abel Abelson, who has a youtube channel that talks about asperger, giftedness and childhood trauma. I read some articles on a famous newspaper here in my country about the prodigy children that most of the time get put out of the radar due to lack of political programs to improve their capacities and societiy unwillingness to change the _status quo_ .
I've lost the count of how many times I've planned suicide. My first memory of it goes back to early childhood, I was probably 4 or 3 years old. A child who tries to kill himself isnt a mentally good one, nor is it in a good environment. I cried tears when I realized my parents where responsible for a lot (if not most) of my problems. Having heard people talk about it, Daniel Mackler, Abel Abelson, Those three kids from a rural part of the country, and lots and lots of other *stories that made me feel less alone and understood* .
Daniel is right when he says that the world legitimizes parents to do all sort of horrible things to their children in order to "discipline them.
My parents are also victims. My mother keeps in touch with her family almost everyday. My father is the same, but more often. My mother is a victim of an abusive alcoholic father and a mother who hlames her for every little action of her. My father only communicates at his parents by yelling at each other - even though shes deaf, he does that on an anger tone. Their friends are/were terrible, and mever did anything really gppd and meaningful in their lives. And they didnt allow me to have ones, only those that they were favorable of. I'm a teen with no friends living in a split home with my abusers. What a lovely life :)
*"Brazilian Society" is a nonsensical word. We're an aggregation of people born in Brazil"* - quote by an autistic guy on a random post on the internet about being gifted in a country that does not value knowledge.
I have hope for my future (not the Earths one, we're destroying it faster than ever), but it will take time. Im young and still have a lot of things to learn. So suicide is out of my list - unfortunately, not of my head.
Now I must fill the bustling chambers of my primordial animalistc wills and fulfill the needs of Thy who is in me and never leaves. *AKA* going to eat.
Btw: *vaccines dont cause autism* .
Thanks for your time. Here, have a cookie
(>^~^)>🍪
Cookie accepted, solidarity offered.
Not much better in America. I thought you were talking about here at 1st.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
Thank you so much for this. I was abused physically, verbally, and emotionally by my mother from a very young age, and was later diagnosed with asperger's syndrome when I was 10 years old. My father would later become verbally and emotionally abusive too. I was sent from counselor to counselor every time an "issue" came up with me. I tried to express what was going on at home to my counselors, but they always tried to make me out to be the problem. It was if they were saying, "Ok, so you're being abused at home? So what can you do better to minimize the abuse or what can you do to cope with the abuse better." This screwed me up even more as I became a young adult, because nobody, literally nobody had or would validate the extreme trauma I had gone/was going through. I started to genuinely believe the problem was with me, even though I knew something was "off" with my family (I once asked a friend if her parents hit her, and her reaction was very telling, she said "no" and acted offended. I just wanted to know if your parents hitting you was normal or not). Eventually, when I was older I was forced to confront my family's severe dysfunction including extended family, despite the lack of support, all I had was the internet. And a not-very-good therapist at the time who put "C-PTSD" in my notes without telling me. When I saw that I started googling it and a whole new world opened up. Out of the Fog. Many years later I still wonder if I really do have autism, or if it is CPTSD. But one thing's for sure....I feel like I am totally screwed for life, I am completely non-functional human, mentally disabled, a laundry list of diagnoses, more trauma. Everyone failed me.
I hear you so hard. This was also me. I grew up in a majorly traumatic religious cult like environment, parents hated me. all of these things like you've said- and NO ONE was there for me and it is NOT an exaggeration to say the last. I'm so sorry :(
Same
I feel this. The prevailing thought in my head on the search for my diagnoses (ADHD diagnosed, and was seeking autism diagnosis) was not coming from a place of sympathy for my “quirks”, but was coming from a place of being fundamentally fragmented from so many things other people around not only had no problems with (as far as I could tell), but was repeatedly forced onto me in my perception. This included social conforming, appearance conforming, etc. It made complete sense to my still-forming mind that I HAD to be everything at once. I had to be my mother’s therapist and scapegoat, I had to be everything she told me I had to be because it was everything she wishes she was. I had to never start conflict because there was too much of it at home already. I wasn’t a child, I was a vessel of a second chance. Couple that with an absent father and a mom who could never decide what she wanted to do, and you have a fawning mess of a daughter. You have me.
@@fatymah1138me too. It hurts. But it does help to hear other people speak about these things. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing.
I have had the same experience with therapists (and I have extreme disdain for the entire field) telling me that my reaction to abuse was somehow wrong, that I should find a way to react better, change my “negative thinking patterns”. I witnessed violent fights between my parents as a child, severe dysfunction that I thought was normal, had financial issues shoved on me when I was 4, then went to college where an athletic coach abused us for months straight, while I was practically in captivity, and even after the coach was removed for physical and mental abuse, my reaction to it was still considered wrong somehow. I really wonder why these so-called therapists don’t ever consider that everyone else’s reactions to abuse (just letting it go, pushing it down, somehow enjoying it,etc) isn’t the disordered reaction, and maybe we autistics are the only ones who react in a rational way.
Thank you! This is incredibly controversial and I think you're very brave to take it on at all.
Thankful for this video. Makes me feel less crazy. Knowing people who have been diagnosed with autism who have none of the symptoms...doctors must be diagnosing without observation
I am diagnosed with autism.
I had a terrible childhood filled with neglect and emotional abuse from my young mother.
They say autism is a brain defect in children, where they can't recognize the facial expressions of the mother.
Well, what if the case in some cases is reverse?
The mother does not know how to express themselves honestly because of trauma or a severe mental disorder, and the child recognizes this and gets confused?
My mother, when I asked her why she never had taken an interest in what it meant for me to have autism, she coldly said that she doesn't believe in psychiatric diagnoses.
Needless to say, now she believes she has ADHD, because it is less shameful than any other diagnosis she might have, because the stigma around ADHD has lessened over the years.
I think in many cases the trauma is reinforced in people who have experienced this kind of trauma, especially men who are diagnosed with Aspergers, which is basically a kind version of narcissism and psychopathy.
Because there is an expectancy for people to be a little bit narcissistic or entitled, and these children have been brain washed from early on not to be. So, it creates some sort of vacuum, and a faulty theory of mind.
It would also explain the schizo-tendencies in people with autism. It is hurtful to be around other people - It is hurtful to be alone. Etc...
You described me
This is exactly what I've been wondering for a couple of years regarding many cases of high functioning autism. There's an article called "Autism and the last taboo". It fits a couple of people I know where there was almost certainly, at the very least, severe covert emotional abuse and manipulation. In other children perhaps this kind of parenting can cause personality disorders or anxiety disorders (especially social anxiety) and/or eating disorders. No doubt there may be other factors or causes sometimes so it's very dangerous territory!
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
Alice Miller, one of the best-known authors of the consequences of child abuse, has maintained that autism is psychogenic, and that fear of the truth about child abuse is the leitmotif of nearly all forms of autistic therapy known to her. When Miller visited several autism therapy centers in the United States, it became apparent to her that the stories of children "inspired fear in both doctors and mothers alike":
"I spent a day observing what happened to the group. I also studied close-ups of children on video. What became clearer and clearer as the day went on was that all these children had a serious history of suffering behind them. This, however, was never referred to....In my conversations with the therapists and mothers, I inquired about the life stories of individual children. The facts confirmed my hunch. No one, however, was willing to take these facts seriously."
Like Arieti and Tustin, Miller believes that only empathetic parental attitudes lead to the complete blossoming of the child's personality.
Harlow's orphaned monkey or what I call the "Misfit Monkey" like I was growing up, has similar aspects to these situations and even in species of birds and other species of animals. If an animal does not build that emotional connection early then they will become emotionally disturbed, higher levels of anxiety and aggression, social difficulties and fitting into society. Even animals show this type of phenomena in the literature. Interesting to see you touching up on this, Daniel. I've been confused on the spectrum on what to believe at this point.
daniel they could never make me hate the way you explore topics with such empathy
I'm 40 years old and have recently come to discover that i meet all the diagnostic criteria for ADHD and autism combined, and the every single one of those characteristics i personal present with, could easily be linked to trauma responses. I have no doubt i have unresolved childhood trauma. One could by all means apply the chicken and the egg question. This is my own anticdotal experience. I don't have the answers. I do however have a lot of shit to work through and my ability to function has been and is impaired by these "symptoms"
who doesnt have these criteria these days? these labels were created by Pharma to sell you their drugs.
Daniel your channel is a gold..not even gold, diamond mine!!
What you're describing is low functioning vs high functioning autism. High functioning people are more effective at masking their symptoms. So what you may attribute to them as having their symptoms being rooted in childhood trauma, is just them being more effective at masking.
So yes, trauma or not, autism is biological and NOT environmental. People with autism are just far more likely to have trauma as a result of their condition. Correlation does NOT equal causation.
Also, the diagnosis of autism is a far more comprehensive diagnosis then what you're describing. There may be instances of people that are misdiagnosed, but far are large, most people that are diagnosed to exhibit the characteristic features of autism. This is a neurological condition and not a psychological one
Thank you so much for sharing this unpopular opinion. I largely suspect childhood neglect is the root cause of these diagnoses. As you say, don’t touch that subject with a 10 foot pole because you might upset someone’s parent with the truth- they are out of touch with their own emotions and childhood trauma. Which is fair, that type of self-work is painful and difficult.
totally!
Blamed for my autism and became the scapegoat 20yrs ago. At 39 I learnt last yr I was diagnosed 7yrs previously and my gp didn’t get the paperwork. But your point is spot on... step families as well can be terrible at this... I came to my own conclusion my step mum was an envious narc who set out to remove my father from us. It worked. I have a cousin with autism diagnosed in childhood. Nobody told me until my sister did last yr. She was supported and given hobbies and has managed a full time career teaching for twenty yrs almost. Nurturing children PRE DISPOSED to autism matters incredibly. Luckily scapegoats realise they are better off out of the toxic family dynamic. Despite it all LOOKING very nice we never know what goes on behind closed doors 🧡🏴🌈
Im linking the late in life autism diagnosis and childhood trauma in a different way. Looking back on the last 40 years and asking myself how did i miss it? Being on the spectrum makes so much sense now looking back. I had an abusive home life so of course i had trouble in life/school. I guess I never really looked past the abuse as a kid when addressing addiction and other serious issues as an adult
Throughout my whole life I seem to have attracted people on the autism spectrum for whatever reason and from what I can tell their causes have ranged from obviously being caused by childhood trauma to obviously being caused by some biological process that deviated from the norm before they were born.
I hope that in the future more people will understand the autism spectrum as just a label for a bunch of vague characteristics caused by varying alterations in the bunch of biological/psychological systems that all interact with each other in different amounts. The super recent BAPCO-DMAP theory shows that there's probably an innumerable amount of complicated and vague traits that get passed on from parents further showing that autism is a vague label for a bunch of loosely-connected characteristics but obviously misses the parents' child-rearing as another piece to the puzzle, like we're only getting started in understanding the genetic and environmental causes and how they all connect.
My gut instinct with knowing all of these people is that most but not all of them would never be labeled with autism if they had a perfect childhood optimized to prevent autistic traits despite their genes, but at the same time most but not all of them would never be labeled with autism if they had owned all the right genes from the available gene pool optimized to prevent autistic traits developing despite their childhood traumas.
I really enjoy your videos, but I'm not sure about this - my kids and I are autistic. We have a connective tissue disorder that our genetic counselor said he sees in ASD. My kids aren't difficult or challenging - they're amazing. I wish there were more people like them in the world to be honest. Maybe some of these parents you're seeing are made up of both an autistic person and one who is abusive? I feel like I'm awkward, so I'm avoided by many people - but people who like to take advantage of others seem drawn to me. I usually don't see that until I've been completely taken advantage of. My other autistic friends have this experience as well, and seem to have either a neurodivergent and/or abusive romantic partners. I saw this own dynamic with my autistic grandma (who shares the same connective tissue disorder.)
Thank you for making this much needed video.
My whole life I knew something was off with me. I was labeled as ADD (without the H - hyperactivity) when I was age 6-8. Then later was diagnosed as having a "processing speed disorder" because I was extremely slow at solving "school type" problems, but would often come up with different or odd, but actually superior ways of perceiving things or doing things elsewhere. However, having that label put on me still triggered me and made me think everyone thought I was stupid (and maybe they even truly did for a while). When I got older, I slowly realized I was much more intelligent than average (IQ ~140).
Then I discovered about 4-5 years ago that I have autism (like 90% sure) (and I'm 30 y.o. now). BUT NOW, I just found something devastating a few days ago. I was watching a collection of old family VHS tapes from my childhood (ones I had never seen before). I was watching every single one of them in order to digitize the footage onto my computer. Well, there it was, clear as day...
A traumatized baby at almost exactly 2 months old. I was starring into space and would not acknowledge anyone's face like I was earlier. No smiling or mirroring or anything. I would not look at my mother at all. I was panting briefly and then let out a long sigh. Eventually my father and grandma brought me back out of this trance-like state I was in. It might have taken even a few days. And this is when I saw it. My mother was terrible. AUTISM IS CAUSED BY A MOTHER AND/OR FATHER THAT ARE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF EMOTIONAL BONDING/EVEN FEELING ANY EMOTIONS AT ALL. In my case it was my mother and not my father, but my father has his own issues. My mother was sooo fake. It disgusted me how I was treated. There was even one part that made me question whether I was even physically abused by my mom. What it seemed like to me was that my mother didn't even really want me as a child. She was subtly rejecting me without being quite obvious enough to alert my father. She didn't seem to love me......
What makes this all even more odd, is that my parents appeared so upstanding and proper when I was beyond age 1 or 2, so in adulthood, it took me a while to grasp exactly what was wrong with me (them). The last 5-6 years have been bloody obvious though. My mom's true colors are showing through as she ages. She's become incredibly toxic to both me and my father (but mostly me, so he doesn't see the brunt of it). My mom always tries to talk to me behind my father's back. She's paranoid, anxious, love-lacking, reactive, etc. It's so bad that her hands shake like she has Parkinson's disease.
Moral of the story: I believe that a boy needs an emotionally connectable mom in order to develop his anima (feminine half). Without this, the boy gets very uncomfortable cause he never learns how to deal with and regulate his emotions. He uses stimming and other distracting and repetitive behaviors to distract himself. Why do autists like trains, fans, windmills, things that spin? Distraction and stimulation. It's all a maladaptive coping strategy.
Now that was just the soft side of it, but I think if there is abuse by the mother, that's where it becomes really serious sh1t.
you nailed it
This is such an interesting video and reminds me of the work of Alice Miller--how "psychoanalysts" absolve parents of guilt and engage in their own dynamic with the "patient" to repress or relive their own injuries and dynamics, because, well, everyone has parents or guardians, and rarely does anyone confront the truth of their childhoods. In an effort to repress it all and push the horrible emotions and memories out of view, many will subtlety move blame to the child, over-prescribe, over-intellectualize, suggest it's genetic, deny, deny, deny, etc. etc. and on and on. Anything to save them from the horrible truth; it's not about you. Yet seeking your truth is still within your purview. Seeking the truth at all costs is a solitary path with hardly any validation at all. Ironically, seeking the truth is frequently met by others with disbelief and objection instead.
I think about the case of Genie, the girl that was kept isolated in a room for the first 13 years of her life with no meaningful outside contact, and when she was released, she was unable to speak and had an abnormal gait, among several other issues, to the point that she was not able to participate in normal society. I feel like this is an extreme version of what many call the symptoms of autism.
I was diagnosed with autism at 36, and although my parents weren’t overtly abusive, they were most certainly extremely narcissistic and emotionally abusive, and I believe growing up in an extremely strict religious cult also played a huge role in my trauma. It’s impossible for me to separate my childhood trauma from my autism.
Since there is a genetic component, i'm wondering if the parents (mine) were not just cold narcissists, but autistic themselves. Turns out my grown son thinks I was a crap mom, and at 70, I've recently ascertained that I'm on the spectrum, thanks to Sarah Hendricks lecture about women and girls being missed or misdiagnosed for so long. Your lecture is helpful, thanks, and the comments are really hitting a nerve.
This is exactly how I feel about the situation. Feels so good that you do too. Cheers.
i want to honor your honesty. the "mental health" field helped me to stay in abuse, shit talking & taking $$. Just your honesty alone is helpful.
Thomas Armstrong ''Neurodiversity Discovering the Extraordinary Gifts of Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, and Other Brain Differences'' 2010
Genetic disorders are extremely rare. There is no way that millions of years of human evolution where our survival was dependent on us being social led to suddenly millions of people being diagnosed with Autism or some socially inept neurological disorder in current society. Part of it is children don't grow up in communities anymore. They don't have large groups of peers to learn from. They are isolated and intentionally or unintentionally neglected by working parents. You look at tribal societies in Africa. You don't see the children only around their mom and dad or nobody most the day. The kids are all with each other in a group. You learn social skills from your peer group, not your parents and definitely not being isolated.
I was diagnosed as Autistic as a child. I was raised by a mother who her herself was abused physically, verbally, and mentally by her stepfather and emotionally neglected by her mother, her brother was the same. Both of them would probably be diagnosed with Autism themselves. They severely lack social skills, both of them. I was the oldest child and had only one other cousin born before me. I was not constantly around a peer group every day or ever at all. The only person I could learn social skills from was my mother, who had none. She was only 20 when she had me. She could barely handle being a mother (and she had my siblings very quick after having me) mentally and emotionally. Many times she neglected us and left us alone and isolated. We only had each other. Both of my siblings have also suffered, brother was diagnosed with Tourettes and ADHD and later Bipolar, sister was diagnosed with ADHD. But I'm pretty sure our issues were caused by how we were not socialized as children and how we went through a lot of childhood trauma from being raised by parents who them themselves were abused by their own parents.
I have a cousin who was diagnosed with Autism also, but he was sheltered his whole life and the first years of his life, he had ears plugged up with mucus. His father wouldn't allow him to get tubes in his ears, so he didn't learn how to talk until really late. But his mother sheltered him and never let him learn to socialize with his peers. My biological father (who passed when I was young) was so angry at his sister for how she was raising her son because he knew the child was going to be messed up for life which is exactly what happened. He'll never be able to live on his own or have a relationship with a woman. All because my aunt sheltered him and my uncle abused him.
My husband also has Autism traits, he was also sheltered as a child along with his twin brother because he was sick with Asthma.
I haven't found anyone with autism or autistic traits who didn't have some form of neglect or abuse as a child to be honest.
Genetically caused neurological disorders are extremely rare and there wouldn't be such a wide "spectrum" if it was caused by a faulty gene.
You have touched an important factor here. I would like to add that children are not grown around relatives anymore. Grandparents, aunts, uncles's presence provide the children with options to bond with. They mostly live far away in this age. Reading the comments until yours, I had this in mind. Then somebody mentioned Donna Williams' book Nobody Nowhere and I went to watch and listen to excerpts read by the writer herself on TH-cam. She was telling about her relationship with her grandma and grandpa which were possibly the only comforting experiences from her childhood.
The kinds of social skills needed to function in a modern environment are somewhat different from those needed to function in the environments of our ancestors. For instance people often live in cities now while our ancestors tended to live in smaller communities and have fewer people to keep track of in some cases. When people go to school they tend to come to classes where they don’t know anyone, while our ancestors tended to be in communities where everyone knew everyone else. I think it’s at least in principle plausible for some genes to negatively impact the social skills needed in a modern urban social environment but to have had either no impact on social skills or a positive impact on social skills needed to function socially in the type of community of our ancestors, and for those to be the types of genes that would through an evolutionary mismatch impact social skills needed today without having been selected against in our ancestors.
That being said the environment of a lot of children today is often detrimental for developing social skills as well, and given the definition of Autism I think could cause Autistic qualities. For instance a lot of places are car centric, which tends to make children more dependent on their parents to get around, and also spend less time playing or walking outside. I heard children who play freely at a playground tend to have better social skills than ones who have their playtime closely controlled by their parents, which makes it sound as if parents closely controlling their children’s playtime could be a factor for Autism. I think also not being outside as much and having less variety of sensory experiences inside than outside could contribute to Autism as it could mean children have less to talk about and are more likely to engage in repetitive behaviors from being under-stimulated and board.
I also do remember as a child freaking out if my mother left me alone and hated sleeping alone. If I couldn’t find my parents I would freak out as well. I think this indicates that being left alone even for a moment as children isn’t the situation our brains really evolved for, and mighht negatively impact mental health and brain development over time.
Attachment trauma. For me it gav me answers that made sense for me. I withdrawed because my mother had issues from her childhood and I reminded her about her own problems. She was afraid of me, I felt and became afraid of myself too. I became the child with mental problems that my parents, siblings and other relative constantly wondering about. I became odd in their eyes and in my own. But deep down I questioned it and starten study psychologi.
hi there, I can really relate to your description here. I think my mother was very deeply dissociated from herself and her issues and kind of compensated by thinking of herself as perfect... so perfectly superficial really. I think that I did remind her of the rawness of her childhood pain that she could not face at all and I think that she always saw me as a little unlovable and a little bit evil... I think we could be both be classified as mildly autistic but I do prefer to think of it as more attachment issue related then some kind of genetic disease or something
@@fuzbugg Thank you for sharing. You filled in that was missing, I feel. It's so hard to explain for people that don't/can't understand
Welcome to the scapegoat club! Every dysfunctional family needs one. Dysfunctional societies too.
@@halphantom2274 yes so many of us "autistics" become the scapegoats in our families. one of the ways autistics are different is that we don't learn social norms by copying those around us. We stick to our own ideas of how to behave and what is right or wrong. We act based on first principles instead of doing as we are told. This immediately singles us out for scapegoating abuse in narcissistic families because we don't mirror the narcissist(s). We are the truth tellers, which makes us enemy No. 1 in their eyes...
@@jessesapolski8649 That is beautifully described. Yep, that explains perfectly why I so often hit a brick wall at full speed in conversations with my family, until I just gave up and kept my mouth shut. Then my inner worlds became even more important to me to have something to attach to.
I am 100% agree with you. I work as a teache from 3 to 6 years old and that observation come across my mind one day, and I see exactly what you mean about the posible correlation with the childhood truma and Autism. Thank you
Excellent video thank you for posting it.
Keep up your incredible work Daniel. You are bringing such awareness to the world.
Youre the most insightful person ive seen in this field
Wow! Sounds very much like my childhood. I'm now in my 50's and high functioning . This definitely lends some clarity. Thank you Daniel.
Thank you this makes so much sense to me.
I really appreciate you're deep honesty.
Great message.
This channel save people's lives. 💚🙏
I’ve been told I’m: Autism spectrum, Schizoid, or Bipolar with CPTSD and ADD.
My parents were very odd. They divorced when I was about 2 or 3 and remarried a year later. My mom left for good when I was 13. I don’t talk to either of them and certainly have trust issues.
I’m successful in my career but am unable to trust in relationships. Now that my hair has fallen out I’ve given up having a partner.
Same here, in a few years society is going to look back thinking how barbaric we were. But always remember there's lots of people out there who always wished for someone exactly like you❤️
@@Delia-Georgiana Thanks! I’ll never know but I do have a nice luxury watch collection. :)
And stock picking is fun. My goal is to leave whatever $$ I have to St Jude. :)
Because I was an outcast in school I retreated into tech. That was back in the late 90s and it’s paid off, so far.
@@BetaBuxDelux It's understandable that you closed yourself and hyper focused on tech, it was the only relief
I similarly started focusing from an early age on understanding the psyche and completely hermeting away, but after some time you realize that relationships are the heart of life and as such can be the most disastrous, or they can offer the biggest transformative experience no other can.
When two prepared people who realized this meet something truly sacred gets created
What is your career?
@@idcb6718 Engineering manager - I work a lot.
We're all products of our environment and biology. You cannot separate the two. Genes are only rarely the sole cause of an illness such as some birth defects. With the discovery of epigenetics we know environmental factors have huge life changing effects on genes. There is no one or the other. We are endlessly evolving and changing from biology, which is constantly shaped by environmental effects. We get our gut flora from our mom. That has massive effects on one's health, mood, behavior...everything. If her microbiota was minimal from drinking and stress, bad diet (environmental factors) that put baby at a disadvantage in health and lifestyle. Our biology is part of our physical and social environment. You cannot separate any of it.
Thankyou.
May God protect you from ego, with all the praises and gratitude I feel for you.
You are describing exactly what I have been thinkig for a long time. I have been diagnosed with ASD and probably have ptsd. The ASD developed early in life. I do think it has wired my brain differently. I think trauma induced ASD might explain that some autistics, like me, do have empathy. I have a lot of it, in fact.
@@hiwenn6633 thanks! The empathy thing is just a theory. I do know that a lot of autists do have empathy. It is a misconception still being perpetuated by psychiatrists that they don't have empathy. My experience is that I have direct empathy and very little cognitive empathy. This means I feel other people's feelings in my body (direct empathy) but it is hard for me to intellectually guess people's feelings (cognitive empathy).
@@hiwenn6633 psychiatrists make the mistake to only look at what is deemed as normal and abnormal behaviour. An autist may not express empathy in the socially acceptable way, but that doesn't mean they don't have it.
I remember asking you this question a few years ago. I’m so happy that I reconnected with your TH-cam channel and was able to watch this video. I watched your playlist about sex and relationships as I’m going through a break up that is making many things clear to me about how I was seeking a loving parent in my partners and why I had a series of profoundly unfulfilling and disturbing relationships.My partner that I am splitting from now is labeled autistic or Aspergers and it runs through out his family history both in generations prior and generations subsequent. I know for a fact that he had an extremely traumatic childhood and I always suspected that this was the source of the problems that brought us together on his side. He was certainly looking for a parental substitute in me but I am fully starting to understand my half being equally the same just presenting in a non-autistic fashion. This really helps clarify things for me.
I think It's both in my case. My mother was always the "martyr" and I was the monster.
Very interesting. With cptsd and autism having so many similar traits/behaviors it is hard to know which it is.
I think this could be said for ADHD as well.
I was first diagnosed with Depression, then PTSD and finally Autism at the age of 42.
What I can say with some certainty is that my Autistic traits formed part of the rationale for the abuse which lead to my PTSD. The PTSD then created a feedback loop into the Autism, exacerbating my traits. Or the negative, coping aspects.
But when I say the Autsim was preexisting, what I really mean is a pattern of high sensitivity across all my systems.
It's rational to hypothesise then that HSP+Trauma=ASD. Possibly in my case at least.
ASD types are targeted for reasons Jordan Peterson outlines in his various treatises on Bullying. I would extend that to include parental reactions and treatment.
Certainly the Cold Mother applies in my case.
can you tell me more ? thanks
There's almost always a nature-nurture interaction. I've wondered whether people diagnosed with autism (and some other things) are highly sensitive people growing up in unsupportive environments that would bother less sensitive children less. Aspects of autism appear to be heritable (my father and grandfather would most likely be diagnosed with an ASD if they were growing up to today), though you don't seem to hear about broader autism phenotype much anymore - maybe they're all labelled autistic now. Also, there doesn't seem to be much room for later-talkers to develop at their own pace these days (pushing them may just make things worse). Life was slower-paced and more forgiving in the past in some ways. I managed in school as a child but would need a diagnosis year 1 to navigate today's schools, with all the enforced group work ("because that's how people learn" - no, that's how some people learn). Autism is complex.
What you say about parents is interesting when looking at autism societies, which are full of parents going "waah, what about us?" I even saw a woman show up to a meeting of disabled adults talking about prospective legislation who asked for consideration for the families as well. (Autism societies have a bad track record supporting autistic adults. The suggestions for said legislation that a group of autism societies submitted said absolutely nothing about accessibility and accommodations - this for a bill that ended up having accessible in the title.) I asked for more accessible legal support for said legislation - didn't get it. In the end the legislation was theatre.
So true!! I have a friend who has an autism son.. She was very depressed after having her son and had alot of regret for not living in her preferred country.. because Visa requirements etc She had to stay for her husband in a lonely countryside with no friends while her husband worked away..When she took her son to the doctor he was diagnosed with autism.. She then put it all over social media every day for many years.. my son has autism.. making out he was the problem..and mentally Ill etc.
He must have suffered even more with everyone knowing about this so called problem being labeled as someone sick..until he actually believed it and ingrained he was not right in his mind and soul..10 years later she still continues to update on him on social media and he often is at the hospital for sickness or whatever.. what I do know about her past.
Is when she was in her 20s her dad walked out on the family to live a new life elsewhere.. Without saying goodbye or ever giving news to the family again.. disappeared in to thin air as if he was dead.. that must have affected her.. as she was close to him growing up! Everythings linked in some way!
FDIA Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another. Formerly called Munchausen by proxy.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
It is unhelpful and shortsighted to assume the mom is making things up and causing the problem simply because bad things happened in her life that she wasn't happy about. Take a look at more anthropology and you will realize that human history is littered with constant trauma and yet there was never an autism epidemic prior. I believe we have to take into account a variety of factors over the last hundred years including our poisoned food supply, misguided medical system, and the trauma that is innate to socialized education systems.
On the taboo subjects, is there a possibility that you could do a video about Childhood trauma connected to sexuality? Thank you and keep it going, this material is grate!
If you want some non-politically correct info on how trauma creates homosexuality, look up Joseph Nicolosi, Richard Cohen and Charles Socarides on TH-cam.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
Amen. Keep talking. Very much appreciate what you have to say.
Good video, Daniel! I suspect I am an aspie, and I think it is likely both biological factors and emotional trauma contributed to my development of this disorder... I certainly retreated into books in order to escape my parents negative behaviors, and actually intentionally detached from them at a fairly young age after I realized I couldn’t trust them.
Yes…
Thank you your words are truth!
"Nobody Nowhere," a book written by Donna William's, pretty much confirmed my suspicion.
Actually, in somatic oriented psychotherapy there is the idea of a so-called cephalic schock developed by Bob Lewis, who was a Bioenergetic therapist. As someone who is familiar with this issue myself I can say that being dissociated from your head is actually causing you to think constantly and also to not feel safe in social interactions. So this could also result in behavior that some people would label as autistic.I wish the field of somatic psychotherapy would gain more attention because there is so much potential in these approaches also to explain conditions that leave mainstream psychologists wondering where all the symptoms come from and believing things such as the causes are genetic.
This is true. I recognise some autistic tendencies in me, and i've wondered for a long time if maybe i'm autistic. But i usually come to the same conclusion, that because my childhood was so stressfull and traumatic, i withdrew completely, which fucked me. And changed me.
@Daniel Mackler - I agree with your general premise and have shared similar thoughts as someone diagnosed with Autism. The paradigm of "Genetic" vs "Environmental" as two separate variables has been demolished by modern genetics (particularly epigenetics). The two "separate" variables in behavioral causation are actually much more intermingled than originally believed, it has just taken longer for other disciplines to catch up with these concepts. Sadly, clinicians always seem to be the last to adapt. From a personal experience: I was diagnosed at the age of 5 with ADHD and later Autism Level 1. I had an extremely unhealthy family home where abuse and neglect occurred. My lack of social skills and anxiety could largely be related to the way I was raised. The only reason I was diagnosed with ADHD was because a teacher found my stimming and behavior "disruptive". Likewise, my inattention could also be caused from retreating from ongoing environments (present moments) mentally because it was safer than reality. The latter example has already been established with scientifically significant correlations between ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and higher rates of ADHD. Intuition should tell us that other "neurological" disorders may also have environmental factors. Similarly with ACEs and ADHD, the symptoms of "Childhood Emotional Neglect"/CEN have a very close relation with symptoms of Autism. Examples include Alexithymia, Executive Functioning Issues, Social withdrawal, etc. It is extremely hard to determine wether my biology or negative environment is the cause of my symptoms. My guess is it is a mixture of both in my situation. Not all smokers develop lung or heart disease but it's a great way to increase your odds. I would say the same with childhood abuse and ADHD and certain cases of autism. I think there were aspects of truth to the "refrigerator mother" theory, the problem with it is that it may not be the mother or father that were "refrigerators" but rather someone further down the genetic line that helped shape genetic expression in future generations (i.e, Refrigerator Grandmother or Grandfather). When past researchers went to look at a relatively "normal" family structure of an autistic child's immediate family they were not able to establish a correlation either from abuse being hidden (as it often is) or the family legitimately being happy and healthy. This is the whole concept of ancestral trauma and behavioral adaptation. I have anecdotal evidence of this in my own life. Though I was always labeled "neurodivergent" as a child I did not receive my Autism diagnosis until my oldest daughter was diagnosed at the age of 3 for very stereotypical autistic behavior. She was originally diagnosed in Mexico, where we were living at the time. The clinicians there knew to look at the parents for shared behavior because of the strong genetic link in autism. We have both been diagnosed since then by multiple doctors in the united states as well. While I was born into a hostile environment, my daughter has been raised in a very nurturing and loving environment. However, her symptoms of Autism were much more apparent than my biological parents report of me. This could be from neglect of my parents (as it seems fairly obvious of me being on the "spectrum" or from me actually having milder symptoms as a toddler. The difference is my daughter is now in an environment that is working to lesson her symptoms while I was in one that encouraged my symptoms.
I have actually boiled down my family system, and it the overview of it seems like a satanic ritual to satisfy the dream of one person that is even projected unto other people, and you also have roles attached to it.
Not the common narcissistic family system, but still all of them are so enmeshed in it, and there is definitely a winner and a loser in the end of it.
I know some of the behavior of my mother was learned family wise, while I think some other behavior was also experimenting on her own to distance herself from it - unsuccessfully. She was a child, and of course also the projection of her own psychological neurosis and psychosis.
I think the refrigerator theory is valid. It does not need to be a classical narcissistic mother, but it needs to correspond to the needs of the child. Whereas proper autism, the child cannot read the expressions of the mother - in childhood trauma, the mother cannot express herself in a proper way towards the child.
"Autism"/"covert borderline" and "ADHD" is common in my family in males, and to some extent learned. While the women side has more "ADHD" and "covert narcissism". ADHD I believe is the urge to be one self in this narcissistic system. I had hyperactive ADHD as a child, but it turned inattentive when I was shamed and controlled because of it.
All of my family would deny there is anything wrong with anything going on. It is the structural ego of the family unit - trying to survive. So, there is a bunch of denial going on.
I would not be surprised if your parents were underreporting - consciously or not. In addition, your daughter has been allowed to express herself.
Our closest people are our safe people, and we learn from them what is harmful and not - consciously or not. It is called mirroring, and children are very sensitive to micro expressions. I think the difference is, if they learn to be fearful or shameful - in how that sensitivity develops. Learning to be insensitive is also a sensitivity...
I think that genetic predisposition plus childhood trauma causes many instances of autism, or trauma makes a little autism worse. Many autism symptoms look like complez trauma symptoms. For example, a highly sensitive child is an easy target for abise and reacts to it more easily and worse. Trauma also phyaically changes the develooment of a child's brain.
Well said. I agree. Not willing to overshare but thanks for speaking a truth.
My mom is diagnosed ClusterB, high in paranoia.
I believe NPF diagnosis are genetic, but that sometimes doctors miss diagnos when the family dynamic i dysfunctional. In my family my little brother and mum had a lot of conflict, SHE constantly started crying and screaming when HE went trough his terrible twos and generally behaved like a defiant child. He didn't always, just in the development phases. Like any normal child. Instead of my mother trying to change her parenting she wanted to know what was wrong with my brother. (Even tough he was totally normal together with other adults) And the doctors suggested Aspergers, so my mother started coaching my little brother in how to behave autistic. She bought him a computer and jolt cola and started to say that he didt want to do stuff, like playing outside ore talk to other people or take eye contact. And a few weeks later the doctor preformed a test on him if he had aspergers. They decided he did. They dident interview me or his father or anyone else that didnt agree with this opinion. They actually avoided talking to us. This cused a rift between me and my mother. So badly that we still have no contact yers later. My little brother is 22 now and have no job, no friends stuck in his room playing videogames, but he have a very happy mother. She will newer have to be alone again.
Oh my god…
There is a genetic component to ASD(if the diagnosis is accurate, which it often is not), but it’s about what innate personality type the child has. Primary psychopaths, who are born that way, when subjected to a scary home environment as babies, develop ASD. Psychopaths have no self, no ego, so it doesn’t take a great deal of abuse to traumatize them early on. Once they reach about age 7, their identity solidifies, and they become almost immune to the effects of trauma. But if they experience the trauma before that age, they will be autistic for life.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor
Your awarness of the situation is incredible. Good for you for stepping away and realising all of this. It is really, really sad knowing that what makes your brother incapable of doing things now is only the mother s limited and egoistic perception. He uncounciously identifies himself as incapable becase never had a parent figure to believe in him, encourage him and treat him like a normal human being. Feeling worthless because no one encouraged him to discover his worth and potential. So sad. I feel for you and him.
that's really messed up....like wow
It appears that it is similar to agoraphobia in that the individual avoids the world by staying home while a child who has nowhere to "stay", hides from the world he live in within the self.
oh, okay. thanks to your comment i know the difference between autism and agoraphobia. I'm agoraphobic for sure.
I think we've been through this before with "refrigerator mother" theories etc.
And there's enough evidence that both autism is organic and that purely physiologic measures (changes in diet etc) help with symptoms.
Also, there are snowballing rates of autism -- are there snowballing rates of bad parenting?
I think what you're seeing is a mix of misdiagnosed patients and the actual trauma parents experience with a child that doesn't smile back at them, rocks back and forth staring in the corner, etc, etc.
Yeah, except that cptsd overlaps with autism...
*Babies* that does not respond to their mother - sure they have genuine autism. What about when mothers doesn't smile back at babies?
Those are two different scenarios, and I'm pretty sure those would play out somewhat similarly.
Thanks for talking about this
I don't think there needs or should be this divide between psychological and biological issues, as we know that it is very hard to seperate their mutual influence. I believe in case of autism and childhood trauma that it is possible to attempt to bridge the biological and psychological divide by considering epigenetics. This way, a person may indeed be biologically/neurologically predisposed to autism by virtue of their genes. But it doesn't have to mean the child becomes autistic, since different environments will trigger different phenotypic responses in the genes of the child. Would at least be a worthwhile field of scientific inquiry if you ask me.
A masterful exercise in diplomatic restraint on the part of our dear narrator
Thank you, D. Needed this man.
I think this us the same with a condition called selective mutism.Again not in all cases,I think there are some fairly healthy families where a child has selective autism but then it also is more lightly to be 'cured'.I think selective autism is another one of these conditions which is rooted in dysfunctional family dynamics,I mean literally it is shutting down your voice and not talking.I have seen speech therapists do everything but actually deal with the family home situation or look at how communication does or doesn't happen there.Its amazing how they think they can treat this condition in isolation from any kind of family dynamic.The only caution I would have about families or parents being considered as in some way responsible for either a mental illness or condition if some type is that then the medical or therapeutic fraternity end up scapegoating whole families or looking at problem families as if holding themselves up as examples of "health or some type of standard"with which to measure and assess this other family by.This can also be problematic.
Thank god there are other people who have come to this conclusion as well
You mentioned that in some cases the problem starts with the parents - but you also acknowledged that these parents are most likely traumatised themselves. Of course the abuse or neglect or lack of attunement that those parents received in their childhoods is also probably due to them in turn having parents with unresolved trauma. At a certain point it stops becoming a game of ascribing blame to the current generation of parents and becomes a question of how on a societal level we allow our lives to be structured in a way that nurtures, or at the very least, does not break the cycle of, intergenerational trauma.
I'd say that while the parents themselves have been traumatized, they lost the right to shift the blame towards their own parents when they took on the responsibility of taking care of another human being. Society itself does breed trauma, too, especially by not holding parents accountable enough.
You just described my relationship with my mom nearly to a T.
Im on the spectrum. There is definitely a correlation, but it is also another view as I see also others point out in the comment section, that some people have a more sensitive nervous system to begin with, so the trauma induced makes the neuro diverse person unable to function, or function «normally», however the standards are toxic. As Aaron, the author behind the HSP phenomena points out, the highly sensitive indiviuals are like the birds in the mines, who expire first when the oxygen drops: a tell tale that something is wrong in society. HSP is said to be 20-30% of the population, if not more, and it describes very similarly to autistic «symptoms» though they make a huge point that HSP is not a diagnosis and try to normalise sensitive behaviour and rections. I believe that we are even more people on the spectrum, because women are diagnosed late or not at all, and a lot is hiding in addiction, psychiatry and even among ME and fibromyalgia statistics.
But there definitely is also a connection to vaccine injuries, simply bc of the use of heavy metals, namely aluminum, in them. And diets, as many autistics get much better from quitting dairy, gluten, sugar and processed foods. We are more sensitive, so its logical.
My autism symptoms became tons better from lifestyle changes, quitting alcohol and also trauma work. Autism symptoms are not static.
Spot on, Daniel, thanks for saying this. My exact observations of most parents - insensitive and selfish and causing emotional dysfunction in their children from the word go.
There's a blurred lines between what is poor parenting and biological, and a lot of kids who get labelled could function well if managed with a bit more sensitivity and with a non tense environment around them. Most parents don't seem to even meet the child's basic needs such as for exercise, food when the child is hungry, comfort and rest when tired, peaceful time and time to explore things , and enough to do to not get bored and helping them keep themselves occupied.
Good topic! I think a very large proportion of neurodivergency and "maladaptive" psychological patterns are actually attributable to childhood trauma, overwhelm, etc. Like many of these "conditions" are actually adaptive psychological responses to neglect, abandonment, etc. which later become hardwired in the biochemistry of the nervous system. Scientists then look at the brain and say "ah, the chemistry is the cause!" But I'd say the change in biochemistry is the downstream result of the experience within the consciousness of the child.
I’m gonna be paying attention. I have rejected that my autism could be an emotional response in favor of a neurological difference. It’s still fundamentally what I believe, but I am eager for you to find a way to test your theory. I’m committed to reaching and then keeping an open mind on this while the jury is still out!
Your way of talking about it sounds intuitively flawless to me….tho granted im a painter haha
Plus, you described my parents. I know childhood trauma effecting me today at 40, it’s like a physical … I was going to say ailment but honestly the word “possession is closer. My trauma effected my ability to learn, despite my intelligence, my ability to read faces as anything other than hostile or trickster, and I have MS - The Patron disease of traumatized children. Of course the neurologists would never link MS w trauma, but I know it’s linked. I believe all the doctors and psychologists who showed the link. Anyway I believe my body, that even at 35 my MS bowed to my father. All he had to do was write me an email and i would be literally crippled for days, recovering from that took weeks or months. At his unknowing command I’d be either unable to walk or unable to close my fist.
I used to try to go to ACOA meetings, and I till then I have never been in a room anywhere with so many total strangers who are living with MS!! The Four of us introduced by another person who thought it was hilarious that we all walked or rolled in on the same day. But standing in a group of men who were like me, in so many way, Alcoa’s who lived their lives in constant pain and threat of total collapse. One of them informed me that there are so many people with MS in ACOA that calling it a coincidence would be unscientific.
ALLL that is the say that I now my trauma led to MS, and that my feelings effect a disease that exists in my neurons. I know Cptsd similarities to autism has made me nervous, i know my autism traits almost perfectly mirror the dynamics among us, only that’s a chicken egg problem i think. And lastly, there’s a link between MS and Autism in the gut. I can’t source that I just heard it a billion years ago
Very interesting, thank you for commenting. Daniel
Thank you for these highly interesting and intelligent observations of yours!!! 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍💯💯
The Problem Teacher by A.S. Neill (as well as his Summerhill) addresses the tragedy of blaming children for the adult's neuroses and the need for freedom for children.