Im the one... My late mother was narcist and I was her first born. She mutilated me mentally, destroyed my self esteem, distorded my selfimage. I pleased her, I did everything for her, but I was never good enough. All the others were better than me. She compared me with everything and always named a winner ...who was not me. All along that fucked up growing I lost myself...I am NOTHING All I think what others think about me...I never feel like number 1 about my self...their needs come first...then I lick the floor and hear their laughter...
yeah🤔 I'm not sure it was that, so yes and no😆.. 🤔😬 don't know if it even makes sense, to others, but It's like I drowned in it, and then I got lost.. (think I might have made it worse, more of an afterthought but probably did alienate myself more.. so got harder to find, like a type of ground to stand on, to even feel like you fit anywhere.. well, as a side-note, I still don't fit😆, but think it's different.. like most things "it depends", but think it's harder those times, like for example... when you can feel the tension/atmosphere in a room, but no one seem to notice or react to it, sometimes it gets so disturbingly uncomfortable, so people start to weird me out😂) to just knowing who we are and being our authentic selves (or a part of it.. with our differences, experience and how we manage to deal with it, and all what our lives throws at us, also plays it's parts..) think it can be hard in general, so when our feelings mixes with others, it probably adds on to it.. don't know if it is like that... but think our world is more shallow, superficial and materialistic, as well as many of the residents in it, so it might be harder to know and find out those things too!?
Use being an empath to your favor. See that other people are going through changes too, and they can be big or small but they are CHANGES, so when you understand that you can stay relaxed in your ownself not trying to help, not trying to UNDERSTAD what they are feeling or what is the big problem they are confronting. Just observe in a general manner and focus on you, you naturally will feel more comfortable in your skin.. Try a lot of new things involving different areas of life, arts, letters, numbers..etc Always think positive but do not force those positive thoughts when you are feeling stressed, that only will make the problem worse Have a nice life stranger
im trying to be 24 hours ahead we dont remember five minutes ago sooooo just be just breathe focus that thousands of bubbles withing bubbles think that the whole hemisphere has toilet paper supper music sex so werlds within werlds
Don't forget that being an empath is a gift and a privilege that not everyone has. I would rather be one than not. It is the challenge and responsibility of empaths to harness that gift. I'm working on that too :)
Yes I agree with you! I think at age 67... I'm done with narcissists (finally) and earned strength and independence along the way! Wish I knew of this connection(empath/narcissist) when I was young!! However, I am proud I am kind, compassionate and caring to people/animals/earth. I think I've been able to help rather than hurt given my time on earth.
My opinion is different, being an empath myself, it doesn't do anyone any real good. The help you can provide others it's no more than an aspirin, it won't do any real change in their lives until they make the change for themselves. For the empath, it's giving and draining your energy towards others for free not getting anything in return except for a pat at your ego.
Best tip for any genuine empaths out there - Stay off "social" media. Seriously! You'll get caught up in a loop of caring about SO many things, often things which are out of your control, meaning you have little to zero influence in affecting, and you'll just burn yourself out. It's not to say stop caring and being aware of such things, just put your empathy in the right place where it matters most. Especially where it matters most to others, and I don't just mean other Human people...
So wise. Thank you for the reminder to keep going in that direction. I just wish I had discovered videos about empaths and narcissists MUCH earlier in life. Not much time left to enjoy life even if I DO heal! 🥺
@@clairecarscallen Sounds like you have guilt. Guilt's a useless emotion that doesn't often do anything productive, so just learn from the past mistakes as best you can and move on. No one's gonna do it for you. All the best 👍🙂
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@@robinmorrow9023 A narcissist finding an empath is the greatest gift they could ever receive, a empath being found by a narcissist is the worst fate they could be given.
this is not neccesarly true empaths are usually people who got bullied because of lack of mothers love narricists usually got builled by their dad verbally and phsically im also an empath atlist i consider myself to be one i also used to please people than after solving the root cause i only want to help people without getting anything back because it makes me feel good
@@jeniapustilnik567sounds to me that's lack of fathers love 🙄 some mothers can be verbally/physically abusive too. it's called child abuse/neglect. how petty you are to make it about gender
Was an empath until I consistently came across narcissists as friends and significant others , and I had to literally drop everyone and everything in order to get my energy back to normal.
I have gone through this to clean my heart of what I “felt” was false …..against my intuitive connection so I was left with 2 people in my life….i mama have felt sad and angry at first but never regretfully sad , anger yes anger was very deeply internalised 14 months later I have had WITHOUT ANY DOUBTS A PHENOMENAL brain explosion and I’m ready for the universe within to out and visa versa as I have elevated so often in my life to see…and feel and fly into a state of absolutely zero mental connection with the body or brain all the way into nothingness 💚 No 🧠 thinking exists there it’s another somewhere I just don’t know where yet or even if it’s a where at all But I’ll say it Thinking does not happen there at you just be light
Omg! I totally feel like that is where I am at right now. Having to reset in a different state. I think that is the only way I can stay focused on myself.
I always “felt” I was kind by not being rude when people insulted me directly out of sheer jealousy. I felt and believed my kindness can touch their heart and bring at least some change in their basic nature and behaviour. found out I was just a people pleaser. Sometimes I feel if I knew this 18 - 20 years ago, I could have accomplished so much better.
This makes so much sense. When I was in my 20's, my boyfriend at the time said in the middle of the night one night I sat straight up and yelled, "Who am I?" I never really understood why i did that. Now it makes sense. 30 years later and I'm still exploring who I am. My parents also wanted me to get a "real" job to be financially secure and safe, so I did high level administrative work for international companies for a couple of decades. I remember thinking, "if this is all there is to life, I hope it's a short one." I finally let go of their beliefs and have been working as a successful self-employed musician for the past 15 years.
I’m an empath and I feel people’s energy but I used to people please and go out of my way. Once I awakened I don’t do that anymore. Once I could read people, I knew their intentions. I could tell who was being authentic and who wasn’t. I let those people go. I no longer need anyone’s validation but I’m still an empath and I can still feel people’s energy. That has not changed. I just tell those people to fuck off now. Lol 😂
A bully, a teacher, a dogmatist, narcs pull all strings once you stop pleasing them and play the little puppy with big eyes, worshipping their grandiosity. NO!
I feel so blessed for stumbling onto this page....I never lacked attention because I never got any as a child and I do not seek attention never liked a crowd I'm a home body and rather be alone to not feel others negative energy and thought I could feel.mine expectations are mine now
I have boundaries now but for sooo long I felt SoS save ones self and I became lost still in helping others and In the NOW I have a heart to help but not too linger long around people with Victim mentality
Boundaries are difficult for people to learn. I've recently learned boundaries are for ourselves not others. I was applying then incorrectly for a long time.
- Is who you are in your life who you are meant to be? Answer: I don't know who I am meant to be. - Whose expectations are you fulfilling? Answer: I don't know what my expectations are. - Are the things you do each day things that make you happy? Answer: I don't know what makes me happy. This video showed me that I don't know absolutely anything about myself.
Just sit with yourself what makes you happy do that everyday for a while. What do you like? Make a list I like flowers etc. What qualities about myself do I like? Stay in prayer and be guided by the Holy Spirit. Have fun getting to know yourself!
It's always hard to observe when super nice people start learning growing healthy boundaries, how hostile the environment judges them. As a coach I observed that a hundred times and I always prepare them in front. I will tell them, many people will try to guilt trip you, play emotional drama on you just because you imply healthy boundaries. Don't worry about it. But be prepared for its getting worse before you get your respect. Stick to it and after some weeks, people will change towards you. And watch out for the rare people who are cheering for you finally having a voice! Stay with them.
It was explained to me like you are wearing this white flowing gown or cloak going into the light of healing and healthy boundaries and the toxic relationships are grabbing that gown/cloak and dont want you to leave them and want to pull you back and we might be tempted to try to pull them along with us. The toxic relationships will be the ones harshly rejecting your boundaries the relationships worth keeping Will respect your new boundaries. Cut the ties with anyone trying to hold you back. Detach with love.
So right, most will fall away at the slightest boundary... you can be super soft and well spoken about it but energy doesnt lie, they feel there is a boundary and thats not fun or too confrontational.@africanprincessmaya
Psychologists call this “fawning” it’s a thing. I’m 47 and took me this long to truly learn this and shift it. I’m an empath and my sister a narcissist. Both our parents are wounded and not emotionally available so abandoned from day one. It’s amazing how far Spiritual awareness and psychology has come in the last 20 years. Being on a healing journey now for 18 years this has all only come to light in the last few, since 2020 really…
I think the score of how it is, has been known much longer than 20. Jung knew full well what was what and he has been deceased since 1961. Besides, neg energy emitted, can only attract same. Being a people pleaser is neg. energy, being a narcissist (deeply wounded, carrying their unresolved pain) is also neg. energy. Without forgiveness and unconditional love, life will be a struggle. One can only be loved by another at the same level of love they hold for self. Why? Bc it is all energy. Lower vibe attracts same. Want different, then one has to find higher self mode, the higher vibration. If one doesn't see their own self worth, no one else will see it either - guaranteed. Be more to self to get more.
he's basically explaining what happens when youre in the wrong place in your family system (Translated this word from Dutch) : the natural flow of energy (from parents to children) is disrupted and life becomes a struggle. I'm reading a book on this subject and I'm 17
@Zotnamm - Reading your comment has made me very intrigued on this book that you mentioned about the natural flow of energy being disrupted from parents to children. I'd be curious to know the name of this book as I'm realizing my own parents were very expertly (but covertly) disruptive, intrusive, and made themselves a general nuisance in my upbringing. I was never allowed to have peace and have always felt a constant sense of obligation toward them (it's also why I have trouble maintaining that flow of energy because I'm used to it always being disrupted so the point that I associate "natural flow" with "impending doom"). I'd be very grateful if you could let me know this book. It feels like something I need to read myself!
I wouldn't say im in the wrong place in my family system now because I've awakened to why im where I am now. Once you know why you are where you are you know you are the gift to your family, the blessed one because I escaped from it, whereas my sisters are still being manipulated and emotionally abused by our father which is the role they chose to play in the family. I'm free, I don't have to put on an act to please him, im the truth teller and truth seeker, The Chosen One. It's not easy, but it wasn't ment to be, i chose that, but you can't ascend if you don't go through the struggles or as I call them the levels of consciousness so I can have the experiences and see them from a more enlightened perspective, not a victim perspective anymore. ❤
I’ve been that people pleaser most of my life,, to the point I made myself literally sick ,,, learn to say NO!!! Learn to speak UP!!! Learn to be YOU! Stop being a doormat , pick yourself up, I love being so empowered in the world, within myself!!! REMEMBER YOUR IDENTITY❤️
If I sense people are manipulating me to do something, I give myself permission to dismiss them. Actions should be from the heart and not manipulation.
All easier said then done. Remember there are people out there that have had a lot more trauma than you. You have no clue what someone else might be dealing with.
Eventually, when you really discover who you are, at your core, at your essence, nothing in the world makes you happy. You exude happiness, peace, and joy, by being in the presence of your essence. Peace and bliss flow through you. It’s a journey, a beautiful and at times challenging journey.❤ thanks Aaron, for helping us work through it🙏🏻
It's true that feelings can be set aside. Reactions can be controlled. Nothing matters. It's a neutrality. It's not available all the time. Learning curve. Energy isn't felt all the time. Sometimes.
Although I agree with you, you put nothing makes you happy. Do you mean nothing external? I feel finding inner peace makes me feel happy with all outside situations. Joy is in everything. Everything is easier. I'm sorry if I have misinterpreted this. Xxx
@@Julie-netball infinite perceptions on this subject, no wrong answer. I’ll attempt to elaborate mine. True happiness is from within. It’s in the silent stillness and once I became aware of that source of infinite love, I am able to choose it in every moment. Food tastes better, the body feels alive and rejuvenated, all the senses are enhanced and gratitude is felt more deeply allowing a deep enjoyment and appreciation of all things. Flow, clarity and harmony expands in the day to day tasks. Vibrant joy. It seems all challenges invite us to let go and find this awareness within if only we accept the present moment as it without fear and judgment. It’s a personal journey. 🙏🏻💕✨
Hell no that ain't necessary why are we conditioned to believe that we only evolve through suffering and hardship ? The best healers are those who grew up in a healthy respectful environment filled with love
It's like "takes one to understand one" just like best addiction counselors are recovering addicts themselves.. yes others can be all that too but it's almost like you have to really experience and feel it..text books only get u so far, unfortunately actually have lived thru that pain only then you really understand..❤
Wrong!! The best Spiritual Teachers DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR ILLUSIONS(the past). The best Spiritual Teachers help you to Acknowledge and Accept God Consciousness AS THE VERY LIFE OF YOUR BEING!!(Like Krishna, Buddha and Jesus did before their teachings were misinterpreted by human intellect and made into religions of Duality(or Non-Powers)!!! A Spiritual teacher that focuses on anything but this PRINCIPLE is simply leading you down the road of ignorance!!
@@varvarajoannou7715Nope!! Think again..... But before you can answer this properly you must know the NATURE OF GOD.....Do you know the Nature of God??
Jesus Aaron - this is me 100%. I am an only child, and lived with super narcissistic and alcoholic parents. I moved away and got my life in order for 25 years. My awful Mother has been sucking my energy since December of 2022 because she is sick and alone. I am going to have to listen to this again and again.
Put yourself first - don't let the parasite control you again. Only help at your own convenience - you'll get no thanks for self sacrifice and being used again.
She made a conscious, deliberate choice to be abusive toward you at the time you most needed a real mother. She didn’t do “the best she could.” This is a crime against all of humanity, a serious bad decision. People need support to break away from these very spiritually sick people. Do this or regret it bitterly. I have no patience with people who abused their little children. Sending love & support.
Yes, being an empath is the result of unmet childhood needs, being an under-individuated adult child, and a lack of boundaries. Once I confronted the countless ways I was abandoned by my primary caregivers and processed the grief stemming from that (took years), I learned healthy boundaries and eventually self-care and individuation.
what I say is that the empath has to learn to exude their own energy to overcome totally absorbing others' energy. That's what an empath has to do to take on leadership roles.
This IS true! I’m just learning this! I’m 48 now and I’m completely being myself and the funny thing (not so funny), it keeps people away. I’ve been told I exude sincerity and compassion…. Then I think about what happened to Jesus. ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
I don’t mind trying to set a holiday tone when everyone is doing last-minute shopping. But every day? It’s fake and exhausting. I’m not (edit: good) at it.
That makes sense. People pleasing was a survival mode so it feels threatening when one first starts to respect themselves vs people pleasing. Worth it though.
@@prisillaspace being strong keeps people away? More like weakness attracts people. It's better to have peace and be a good example to others. People who can take advantage of me... I realized they feel it's acceptable BECAUSE they are able to do it. They didn't respect me for it.
@@tashastarling6573 well said. I want to work on being an example and a role model instead of just going with the flow and doing things I'm not as proud of. It's a hard paradigm to shift
My body had to take a 1 hour nap after watching this eye opening video! I have never before been able to lay on the couch and allow myself to take a nap..this was the first time in 36 years on this planet🌍 Wow, and thank you for doing the job you are here to do❤
You're leaving fight, flight or freeze mode... I slept for a year! ❤ It's nice when you begin to understand you're safe, you're okay and you're exactly where you need to be!🫂 Blessings to you friend!
This is so Me. I have been a people pleaser, especially for my parents. I walked on egg shells to be sure everything stayed peaceful. I am a Mother of 3 amazing young men. I am about to be 43 years old. I finally saw, thanks to a good friend, that I needed to get away from my parents. I am surely stuck partially in childhood.
I'm blown away by how clearly you shared what I grappled with severely in my 20's. I remember having no idea at all of who I was or any sense of identity ...not being in my own body...feeling uncomfortable in my own skin and always looking outside of myself and tuning into the emotional state of those around me to get who I needed to be for everyone else to be ok and not even knowing how to ask myself what do I want? And what do I NOT want! Individuation...brilliant...enough said!
That makes sense. My mother came down with debilitating depression when I was eight years old, and my whole life became trying to make her happy. Crazy how things in your childhood program your subconscious.
damn, my mum got really depressed after my dad left and barely left the couch and we only really had potato chips and fast food, etc. she was sleeping all the time. i was probably like 7 or around there, i wonder if thats why i feel the need to clean and do things for other people all the time.
Yeah similar when my Dad left the Doctor put Mum on a tranquiliser and never told her she could come off it, she never felt better after that day Dad left and she slept all the time, and I took on the role of Mum, for too younger siblings, until I had enough after four years, of looking after her, and went to Dads for a holiday, where I was ignored and allowed to make many of my own choices as he was never around. I remember I felt invisible and like a boarder in his home. I definately was a people pleaser due to the parenting I had
I am an Empath, but I have never felt out of my confident frame. I do not force anything or change for anyone. I resonate with those that allow me to be me. I am aware of others energetic field and choose to be kind to everyone so long as they are present and authentic.
Don't interactions/ relationships with others inspire you to grow toward a better version of yourself? And would that not be considered changing? I, too, resonate strongly with those who allow me to be me, yet sometimes disappoint myself with doing too much for others when in their environment and out of balance/ in need of attention, thus losing time/ putting myself out of balance. Your statement, "I have never felt out of my confident frame" is impressive and somewhat incredible... as in, never since realizing your an empath or never since first memories of childhood? NEVER is a strong word🙏🏻
As a therapist, I work with this all the time and it is always so exciting to be with and watch someone find their own answers. But how you described this is absolutely beautiful. I don't know what it was that made me click on but as we know, there is nothing random about anything and I have already saved this to listen to later. It's so lovely to find someone explain this without really trying to sell something or foist their 'one size' beliefs ...thanks so much, you are wonderful. x
What training do you have in the condition of Empathy? How were you taught to diagnose an Empath? Could you share some of the research you studies? What is your credential, specifically?
I am very impressed. Finally this high Empath can readily admit to this deep understanding that I wanted my family and everyone to be happy,as in pleased. I became exceediedngly independent and by 13 was earning all my own money while attending school as a top A dtudent. And this perfectionism persisted for the rest of my life,which gratefully has merely just begun...at even 64 years young. Excellent work young Maestro. Thank you.❤
I’m an Empath to the core. I feel everything and lately it has been so incredibly painful I have being to dissociate from living - an empty shell watching this body from the outside looking in. Thank you for this message ❤
Aaron, you totally hit the nail on the head. You described me as a child to a T! Mom and dad are dead now. I totally changed after my mom died. She was the most critical person in my life. I wish I wouldn't have waited for her to pass in order to let myself grow. However, it is never too late to do this. You are never too old to change.
I’ve heard this from many people. The chains of family contracts and bonds are so strong hey. My parents in their 70’s now and I’m still trying to break them before they die as I know they will then but don’t want to be waiting for that.
Empaths and narcissists are two sides of the same coin. They just either use their power for good or evil. Being a good empath people pleaser is a detriment to ourselves though.
An empath can help, can heal if used right....I know this because I do it.....the problem is who they are around or try to heal....my ex was a very strong narcassist and I am a very strong empath withstrong emotions......bad combination....he drained me so fast I didnt realise what was happenin and made me ilk (was with him 14 months) .....I really wanted to help him but didn't realise it was too big a job for Me alone....not a mistake I will ever make again
My empathy doesn't come from ego or to take from others....I surpassed that when I was younger....of course everyone expects give and take.....without it people would just take take take......
I was born sensitive and feel I have my empathy from that and not childhood trauma. It makes me able to connect and understand others deeply and Connect with Nature and animals 🫶 I don’t want a cure for that, I think in general the world needs more empathy, love and understanding. I do however see hightened empathy combined with trauma can lead to unhealthy people pleasing tendencies and THAT I’m working with - I call myself a renovering people pleaser 😆
I agree with this. I was sensitive and empathic to nature and animals from the start of my life too. I don't want to lose that and the world does need more of it. But I do have a degree of empathy that comes from hypervigilance attached to childhood trauma. They are two different parts of the same psyche. One is positive and healthy. And one comes more from the shadow. Both serve their own function. Neither is right or wrong, depending on how and why it is used. They just are. The rest is up to me. I think it's important to check in with yourself on the regular and note intention. Awareness is everything. I see you. 🙏
Thank you for covering the maintained victimization/ manipulation of being an empath. I'm an empath but have been uncomfortably aware of (or otherwise denied) how like a narcissist I can be-- similar in ultimate self-centeredness and atomization, only I've been scared, sensitive and self-downplaying instead of demanding. And identified myself as a victim and didn't get out of it. So I appreciate you acknowledging how things are, I think its important for processing and moving through the healing process.
This is the realisation I came to also, there can be a combination of both going on, as an empath you can start feeling as though only you can help everyone - the world even, which is almost 'guru' mentality which can turn in egotism/virtue signalling and ultimately narcissism - it's a complex subject!
A healthy empath is "of service" rather than the term "people pleaser" really helps put things in the right perspective. Its saying " How can I Help". And then helping with your boundaries working with you" maturely. Beautiful experience for both parties.
Being an empath is a gift that most of us were not taught to respect, appreciate and use for its wisdom. We may have been wounded in childhood, but that doesn't mean we are all stuck in childhood. Once we understand our gift, and we're healed the gift can be used with boundaries and wisdom. The gifts do not leave us once we're healed.
ENMESHMENT TRAUMA. Enmeshment is a developmental form of trauma where you’re raised in environments where there is blurred, unclear, or a complete lack of boundaries between family members. In cases where enmeshment is present, members often have a difficult time differentiating their own emotions, needs, desires, and issues, from others in the dynamic. If dad is upset, then you are too. “I can’t be ok, if you’re not ok. So I need to fix others to feel safe." There’s excessive over-involvement and over-reliance. This pattern gets hard-wired into your nervous system. Your intimate partnerships start to become chaotic: - lack of identity and sense of self, inability to think for oneself - fawning ("fixing" identity) - people-pleasing - excessive fear of conflict - trouble forming and maintaining healthy relationships - reliance on external validation - over-run by feelings of guilt, shame, and resentment - chronic health issues This creates a massive push/pull dynamic that’s characteristic of a Trauma Bond. Anyone who says “I’m done with relationships” is likely Enmeshed...
My parents were alcoholics. Being an empath helped me navigate around them. Became a compulsive people pleaser when I was young and it continued into adulthood to get love. Finally I can control that compulsion a little better now that I am an older person. It’s exhausting.
Actually, takinig responsibility for other people's emotions has always been an issue for me. Thx for bringing this up, it's really made me reconsider why I feel guilt in the times I shouldn't
and does this prevent you from being competitive too? so many times i remember seeing how important it is to someone that they win a game & so i just let them. or else have you seen someone else is getting made fun of and say something dumb (for example) to get that attention off of them /and towards you instead ?
@@ArcheryRuleZ Yes, especially in sports but specifically when I go to the gym. I cant get myself to be competitive because, I feel like it's flaunting too much from an empathetic viewpoint. I don't want to be the showoff
I don’t see myself as ‘an empath’. I see myself as empathic, meaning I have boundaries, self love and self worth. I do not give 100% of myself because I need a lot of that percentage to function in this world in a healthy way and also to allow others to take responsibility for themselves. So being empathic I can be in tune with others to be able to help them when I am willing and able to.
Thank you for this video. When I was a kid, my mother had undiagnosed mental illness. Every morning I would lay in bed to feel her energy so I would know what I would be walking into for breakfast. Ironically, I married a man who had a similar situation with his Dad, and he became a narcissist. I tried to please my husband and nothing was ever good enough. I finally walked away after 30 years. I never understood until watching this video. Thank you.
My mother is always complaining about her state of being,and I absorb it...Absorb her sadness and madness ,I thought I am weird for that..because I easily start to feel the same emotion as the person.
I have 2 kids one is very compassionate and I believe he is an empath and one is a narcissist the narcissistic child’s big influence was my mother the narcissist my empathy child’s main influence was me the empath I currently live with the narcissist because the other child is a marine and is stationed I’ve always wanted an understanding of everything and the answers to life because it’s so hard for me to understand others and why they are the way they are thank u for helping me to have a better understanding I’m starting to realize I need to understand myself in order to have the answers I need
Thank you so much for this video. My mom devoted all of her time to my little brother when he was born. He have a temper tantrum when he didn’t get what he wanted (he’s a Leo and I’m a Libra) and to this day my mom STILL gives him whatever he needs or wants and I am still told “you can’t do that” “that’s a silly idea” “that makes you look ugly” etc. It has taken me years to realize that no one is going to make me feel safe or whole- I have to do that myself! So thank you, I appreciate your knowledge!🙏🫶🏻💕
@@KarolineTheEmpath You cant, no other biology will release nowhere near the amount of oxytocin that touching your mother does And oxytocin is Love its what attaches you to other biology and helps you forget your emotional trauma, That's why before the Slavers enslaved us we didn't live in separate huts , we stayed together hugging each other all the time So the correct instruction is hug your mum more and then if the answer is we don't like touching each other, then we know the solution and the reason for the situation Which means the remedy and solution cant be explained Biology is not designed to be separated, the Slavers did that, divide and rule the feminine
So sorry to hear that. My mother is much like this, my brother is the golden child and I am a Libra too. I am happy that you managed to find your balance, peace, and happyness.
Sad thing is most kids can’t step into their selves without demonizing their parents who did the best they could. Seems kindness and empathy are lost in this new age and there is no gift that anyone is giving world by hurting others…lots of maturity needed to do it with grace.
@@7oclockmiracles88 my mother... Maybe she did what she could, but it wasn't that much. She didn't cook, she didn't clean the house. She didn't work. She was always the victim and I had to support her emotionally then financially. Now I am 35. My mother still has dept, even though besides me, her siblings also helped her financially, but still, again, she got into a mess and I have to send her money. And I do, because I do love her, but I can see she will never grow up. Narcissist never grow up properly and take responsibility. She is also codependent and after the divorce with my father, she attached herself to my brother. My brother is now 26, and he has absolutely no friends, never had a girlfriend and lives with my mum. My mother often sabotaged his jobs so to have him with herself 24/7. Only now, when she is more worried about money, she allows him to work. She is not concerned about the future of her kids. She only wants her own needs met. She is not the picture book mother who does everything for her children. Narcissists are different. Not every mother is perfect. My grandmother wasn't perfect either. She was married and cheated on her husband with the Chatolic pastor, who then left the church, married her, and became alcoholic. When she was old, really old, around 80, once when I went to visit her, she was in bed with another, retired pastor. That picture really burned into my retinas. These things are not normal, I think.
Wow I am actually in that individuation process right now without even realizing. It feels like a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach that brings out a primal urge to be who I am, and if someone is trying to make me live the way they think I should live in their minds, Cutting them off becomes an instant.
I am in this mode right now as well - its totally enlightening, freeing and a little bit scary. I thought I was becoming a hermit because I cant be bothered with people anymore. Sick to death of them and cutting myself off.
@@activevibrantlife You’ll be in that hermit phase for quite awhile & it’s necessary because you’re able to really discover who you are at your core. Then eventually you’ll come back to other people but you’ll be so grounded in your authenticity, with iron clad boundaries & you’ll be empowered, having let go of all victim mentality. But while you’re in hermit mode, you’ll question it at times and the loneliness will cut deep. So remind yourself it’s not forever & enjoy getting to really know yourself, maybe for the 1st time. Sending ❤️
I'm strongly empathic, I had a loving mother and was safe and well cared for as a child, and I am in no way stuck in childhood. What a dismissive idea.
You must have gone through so much healing to get to this point Aaron. I resonate with everything you say, I am empath. I am so proud of you. All my love, XO Zuzi
I was very lucky. My parents encouraged me to be myself and to never stop learning. To always use critical thinking as well as understanding others. I think both my parents cared so much about helping others is probably the reason I do the things I do now. I have more to say but phone at 2%. Thank you for sharing
I was the mediator of my parents' marriage my entire childhood and early adulthood. By the time I was 40 I realized I had become the meditator to most of my friends and eventually it took a toll on my health mentally/physically. One day I decided no longer would I give this service to others and began to put myself first, not in a selfish way but a love for myself and others by not being an enabler. I found that others do nothing about their situation when they allow their sorrows to continue and being an enabler, I really was hurting others rather than helping them. I am no longer an emotional vomit bucket for others and am happier than ever imagined. Of course, I lost some "so called" friends but it was a great relief of not being exposed to constant negative energy and have an enormous positive energy within myself. So many years I wasted on people who had NO intentions on making a personal change, instead I spend valuable time loving life as the gift that was given.
it was so draining at school as a kid. literally my energy was not in my body but whole class everyone. i got adhd from then. and avoid tendency to game/music/movie to' have my own space' because i didn't know how to tune off and have myself.
Now I understand everything. Thank you for the perfect explanation. 💚 No wonder why you feel alone when everybody loves you while you doing what they need.
I literally couldn’t stop crying watching this , it’s really a challenging path to get understanding of being an empathetic person coming from traditionally Christian family. Being misunderstood feels isolating.
Work within - not without! You cannot give to others that which you haven't given to yourself FIRST. If you don't take care of your needs first, it is disingenuous and you will have no longevity in any relationship. Be kind, compassionate and patient with yourself and your will exude these qualities with others as well and set healthy boundaries. Great video.
Oh my God, this is incredible. I believe the Holy Spirit sent me here. I've never heard of you or seen your face. I'm only a few minutes into the video. I'm much older than you, but you just described my life. Except my Mother never had the courage to leave my narcissistic stepfather. My Mother called it gift of prophecy. My 5th grade teacher explained what 'empathetic' meant and used me as the example. Unfortunately, he defined it as not only feeling what others feel but sacrificing for others. Taking on their pain. When I was younger, that would actually happen. My Mother worked incessantly. When you said being self-sufficient, I literally had to pull my car over. I'm going to finish looking at this video. I cried out to God and He sent you. Bless you. 🙏
It is a gift from Almighty God to be able to give and not expect anything back. I am a child of Almighty God. It is never nessacary to be validated by another flawed human being. Because we are all flawed. If someone can not accept me with my flaws aware of and I am on top on those flaws so they do harm anyone else. I am an empath, if someone takes advantage ofvmy kindness or mistakes my kindness for a weakness...I will gracefully shake the dust from my feet and pray for that person. I will not shift blame to mom and dad. I am a grown adult and that makes me responsible for my own actions. Thank you Holy Spirit gor your guidance. Thank you Jesus for loving me.
This is the thing. I’m the same way, and people feel so truly demonic nowadays that all the empathy feels like something we should plug up. Even if you’re strong and command respect, people will still want to abuse your empathy out of their own volition. What’s the point of using it anymore? For children yes, but for any adults, it seems useless to have.
Very interesting. I have been researching childhood trauma. My sister is narcissistic and very focused on herself, and I am very sensitive and feel and pay attention to others. It does make sense. I am not drawn to her narcissistic ways. I have been creating better boundaries for myself lately. This presentation does make sense on many levels.
Exactly, i am un t'he same position as you!!! T'he same. I set clear bounderies, no call me , just texts... She drawn me soooo much!!! She let me withoyt any energy, And I am realizing about all of this patterns
My brother and I were the same. He bullied the heck out of me, and I became very kind, although with 1000 other issues "unrelated" to it such as addiction, self loathing, etc. I've always given all my love to everyone else so I had none left for myself I guess. I'm working on it, I want to be someone I'm proud of.
...Wow. Like... holy crap. This really blew my mind and made me understand why my relationships have always been the way that they are. I am an empath and this makes so much sense that I really am speechless. It's time to set some boundaries. I've been hurt so much, as recent as today. My entire life. Thank you for sharing this. I have been giving all of my energy for everyone since I can remember and now I understand why.
You literally describe me and my brother and explained to me why I keep attracting certain kinds of people. I always tell myself it's because I like confident borderline cocky people but it's literally my way of staying comfortable in my discomfort. Thanks for making this video.
I think I have to go a long way in this case!🙄 I was very far from myself because of others and when I decided to be myself, I realized that no one wants to be with me anymore!! No one accepts that I belong to myself and not to their wishes🤦♀️
That’s when rejection is blessings because it pushes you to find those who accept you. It’s never too late to put yourself first. Being mindful of your feelings comes naturally for me but I kinda had to figure out others don’t do that. And they aren’t as in tune with themselves. What I’ve found is people that remind me of my family dynamic, I automatically move myself away from them. I reject them. Not them as people but just having access to me.
Hey, Aaron. Thank you for the perfect message at the perfect time (as it applies to me). I don’t know about others, but I need to say that I have a bad reaction to your use of AI clips for highlighting key points; My heart is open to the genuine message, then it “clicks shut” the nanosecond I see the artificial, soulless “people” on the screen. The energy goes back and forth throughout. High vs. low, real vs. fake.
Thank you for never giving up on being your true self you have inspired me greatly, especially lately, I loved the live meditation it was unbelievable. Before you made this video I could sense and relate to everything you're saying about your dad and all of the expectations Of you. I'm proud to say that I'm an empath. Thank you for your guidance!
It's never too late. I started at 60 yrs old differentiating and breaking away from the family enmeshment. I made major life changes. I believe I am now the scapegoat of the family as a result but I don't care, I'm much happier and living my most authentic life. The experience has been the most challenging emotionally but the most rewarding.
That first question brought tears to my eyes. I've been coming out of shrinking in any way the last 6 years of my life and Ive reached a very crossroads moment. Being all I've been placed here to be is the highest form of love for myself and the collective and I have to be okay losing ppl along the way. Thank you for this.
It's crazy how timely and accurate this is esp when you talked about leadership energy and having a strong sense of self. I am a recovering people pleaser and empath and I see it in my life. Cheers to progressing and healing, and cheers to more promotion! (Life promotion not just work)
I have been an empath as long as I can remember...I feel I was born like this. My childhood and life experiences simply taught me to not only trust myself but develop and manage my gifts.🌹🕊️
It’s funny cause I have both empathic and narcissistic qualities at least in the way you described them… absolutely crazy how well you explained this. I watch your videos from time to time, thank you for the good work you put out and the messages you bring to humanity
@ConsciousCreatrix absolutely, I don’t believe I’m a genuine narc but my “narcissistic” traits seem to be “lack of consideration for others” depending on who you ask and yet I find that my biggest issue was focusing too MUCH on others and abandoning myself. My “selfishness” was only observed once I began saying no to people and prioritizing myself. It’s all perspective
Oh yes. In my case I always felt like a people pleaser and a victim. In my actual process more and more my narcisstic parts are coming up. I often hear, that I am egoistic. But I believe, this is a way of healing, to come in the healthy middle at one point. 😊
Omg Aaron, this is such crucial information for me. You did a meditation video a while back, I watched it last year, and it was about this concept of feeling the separation between you and other people.... you had us "pull our power back to us".... And this was so intense for me.... at the moment I pulled it all back into me there was an electricity blackout in my town...at that exact moment! It didnt feel like a coincidence! You are a great spiritual teacher!!
@@SA-px3ln me to narcasist slum lord cuz I have no place of own like I need to go & my hrs messed up & every area every time I fix it gets messed up & ran out of time I needed & hoping to still. Also, yes giving at expense of self. I'm learning nit to, but still. I am a bit stuck with family member I love & is my twin flame soul mate too. The rest I truly cut out, cuz they are asleep in either extreme religious a bit or in the middle, etc & the other lust spirits,cuz promiscuity in the past & so forth, I don't like. It's sad. Chaotic in a way that makes me mure chaotic energy, plus toxic. The one that's always been here in USA I also can't trust lying bulky. He's not evil or bad, just idk controlling & idk if he dues it from caring or not, but that's not what I got really. I am awake & what I heard & see I didnt want to hear again or care.
He is. He is such a normal person, but yet supernatural with those powers from connecting meditation. Hus voice & all you can tell. Serious. I like that. He & Victor Oddo like no one like them.
Wow, I’m 56 years old, I had no idea about all this. It makes so much sense. Thank you so much for having the courage to share this information. It makes so much sense. Now I wanna share it with my kids but I’m going to resist the temptation because I have a feeling it’s just because I want to take responsibility for how they are🤣 I just want to live from my authentic, true self, and it seems so challenging at times.🙏🏻💕✨
Thank you for this video. I find that many people who say they are "empaths" really just don't have boundaries. I find that what's healthy is to have empathy for someone but at the same time keep a boundary knowing where you end and the other begins.
This is 100% accurate about how you become an empath and how it manifests as an adult. I had to learn where my emotions start and end and where the other persons energy starts Now i use my "feeling others emotions" to help them.. An interesting thing to note - if i didnt grow up in the family i grew up in, i wouldnt have learnt what i learnt and been able to help the people ive been helping... This speaks to "Everything works out FOR my good".. whether good or bad.
I'm an empath since forever and I confirm what this guy is saying. What this guy tells you here, people, is one of the most important things you need to hear and do in your life (if not THE most important thing)! My empath nature still tends to tune in to others' energies from time to time, but every time I chose and managed to individuate, my life changed tremendously for better.
Well that was an interesting take on the situation. It is something I've been working on lately, so I have become aware of this pattern, but this is a very concise explanation. In my opinion, the reason some people become narcissists and others empaths is because it's kind of two sides of the same coin. Both are struggling with uncomfortable emotions and thoughts. The empath blames themselves for those feelings, while the narcissist blames others.
I grow very tired of the term "empath". it is human nature to feel the energy of other people, its just that many people have lost or ignore this innate ability, being empathetic is the natural state of being a human, but society has made many lose touch with this part of themselves, so the few who have retained this skill are labeled as empathetic or overly sensitive. However with that being said I do appreciate this video and you trying to educate people. Thank you
I'm tired of everyone labeling themself as an empath as well, but wasn't able to articulate what the problem was. thanks for sharing your comment! I agree 100%!
This is such a great point... perhaps empathy is a spectrum where some people are more attuned to others while some are not as attuned... but you're so right about empathy being our natural state. I hope more of us allow ourselves to embrace this aspect of our humanity.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. This made me reach right back to my childhood to assess how and why I feel the way I do. I have a lot of work to do, but am so happy I found your channel, thank you Aaron 😊
There's so much truth in your video... I've been in my company for 17 years but I have so many blocks 😔... 100% Truth in everything you're saying... Being the first born I've experienced all of this... I have tears in my eyes... 😔
I agree in all the things except that it necessarly has to do with childhood problems. I was loved like hell by my parents, had atention, they were present, everyfhing was and still remains perfect. It was always just a caracteristic of mine. Walkinv in the streets as a kid I could already feel my energy changing as people passed me by, and if I looked them in the eyes I could share their feeling. Always lived my time alone because of that. It can be overwhelming sometimes. I just foind this channel, and I’m starting to do the exercise to set my aenergy apart. Thanks for the beautiful content!
Said perfectly. It's also made it incredibly difficult to feel confident in my decisions in life. Just recently realized it's why I always felt I needed to ask if something was a good idea or not instead of believing my ideas are brilliant without input.
Being an empath, I feel as if I’m always reminiscing or living in the past. I feel like my my brain holds those memories so close. It’s definitely a dare place for my mind to escape to. Has anyone else experienced this?
Always reliving the past, especially the negatives possibly because there were so many. I feel so many regrets over the times when I feel like I failed to do enough for my pets or my kids, because I was so stressed and damaged and also financially unable. I wish I could really make my brain believes that thinking about things won’t change the past.
Me too. Especially lately. I have so much regret about not protecting my kids. I couldn’t see what was happening (WHY, brain?! WHY?!) so I failed to protect them from my husband’s/their father’s subtle abuse. I just am stuck and don’t know what to do. So, instead I reminisce about better times, and therefore I’m not doing anything to change our current situation. And also because I have several chronic illnesses so I’m limited in what I can actually do. Dealing with it all is freakin hard on so many levels. Gentle hugs to all of you.
@@rrmother3748 We do blame ourselves when we shouldn’t really; we were so worn down and stressed that we couldn’t have acted in any other way. This is especially true if you grew up under the thumb of a narcissist and then married a narcissist. Your adrenal glands were in overdrive your whole life, causing all kinds of malfunctioning in your body, emotions, and brain. Even realizing this though, it doesn’t make the sadness over lost ‘might have beens’ any less. We deserve to treat ourselves with tenderness and compassion, the way we do others.
This is one of the best videos I've seen. The information presented, I was already aware of, but I was sitting there with puzzle pieces that only made sense on their own, and not as a whole. Hearing all this made it come full circle, in a very powerful way. Thank you so much for this 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️
This was so good! Extremely helpful! I was really struggling this wk with my family dynamics… I’ve been divorced for 5 yrs, but still struggle with codependency within my family & I didn’t understand how much it still existed there! Thank you so much for this!!
Oh my goodness Aaron, you have opened my eyes to the victimisation I'm cradling myself in; enveloping it as an Empath. I've recently had the calling to realise what an empath really means and I couldn't work it out, you have cleared the fog for me. Thank you so much, I need to work on myself and I can see that it's controlling me. Always putting everyone's feelings first to avoid confrontation (kids, husband, work, friends, family). I always thought I had an amazing upbringing but upon true reflection, I see I was always compared to my older sister and trying to live up to my parent's expectations of her. I need to keep learning and find my true self! 🙏🙏
This is so true. I’m 54 and trying to find happiness and fulfillment but I keep fighting against myself I now seem to be understanding. I have been trying to learn life lessons and grow spiritually but something always holds me back, and I think it has to do with not having a childhood so I’m stuck in some patterns. I’ve tried to give up the people pleasing but now I get where it comes from. My mother battled mental illness so I had to grow up fast and often was her counsellor. My sister tried to get the attention she needed by acting out as the “brat,” so I often came between them and tried to resolve issues. At ages 8-10. She eventually committed suicide and died not long after I turned 11. I didn’t realize these experiences have affected me my whole life because I just tried to do my best every day and live. Our father basically left us to our own devices and didn’t give us much guidance or support. To be fair, he probably didn’t know how to handle the situation either. I’ve never had strong role models and have let myself be taken advantage of so many times. I’m trying to break the patterns but I’m still failing at this life thing it seems. I feel so lost now more than ever since I now know what I’m lacking at my core. I hope I find the answers I need. Everybody’s journey is different.
This is so excellent. Thank you so much for doing all your work so that you can give us this knowledge and wisdom. I am 76 years old and fortunately I have done some of this, in sort of a hit or miss fashion. But I am going to listen to this tape over and over and over. Because there is much more to do Thank you thank you thank you❤
I was never a child. I allow myself to be one now. It helps me to heal.
Me too❤
Me 3 ❤
Me 4
Exactly. Same. ❤🩹❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Same 🙏🕊💖
Has anyone else been an empath and people pleaser for so long that they aren’t even sure who you are in order to individuate?
Im the one...
My late mother was narcist and I was her first born. She mutilated me mentally, destroyed my self esteem, distorded my selfimage. I pleased her, I did everything for her, but I was never good enough. All the others were better than me. She compared me with everything and always named a winner ...who was not me. All along that fucked up growing I lost myself...I am NOTHING
All I think what others think about me...I never feel like number 1 about my self...their needs come first...then I lick the floor and hear their laughter...
yeah🤔 I'm not sure it was that, so yes and no😆.. 🤔😬 don't know if it even makes sense, to others, but It's like I drowned in it, and then I got lost..
(think I might have made it worse, more of an afterthought but probably did alienate myself more.. so got harder to find, like a type of ground to stand on, to even feel like you fit anywhere.. well, as a side-note, I still don't fit😆, but think it's different.. like most things "it depends", but think it's harder those times, like for example... when you can feel the tension/atmosphere in a room, but no one seem to notice or react to it, sometimes it gets so disturbingly uncomfortable, so people start to weird me out😂)
to just knowing who we are and being our authentic selves (or a part of it.. with our differences, experience and how we manage to deal with it, and all what our lives throws at us, also plays it's parts..) think it can be hard in general, so when our feelings mixes with others, it probably adds on to it.. don't know if it is like that... but think our world is more shallow, superficial and materialistic, as well as many of the residents in it, so it might be harder to know and find out those things too!?
🙋🏽♀️
Use being an empath to your favor.
See that other people are going through changes too, and they can be big or small but they are CHANGES, so when you understand that you can stay relaxed in your ownself not trying to help, not trying to UNDERSTAD what they are feeling or what is the big problem they are confronting.
Just observe in a general manner and focus on you, you naturally will feel more comfortable in your skin..
Try a lot of new things involving different areas of life, arts, letters, numbers..etc
Always think positive but do not force those positive thoughts when you are feeling stressed, that only will make the problem worse
Have a nice life stranger
im trying to be 24 hours ahead we dont remember five minutes ago sooooo just be just breathe focus that thousands of bubbles withing bubbles think that the whole hemisphere has toilet paper supper music sex so werlds within werlds
Don't forget that being an empath is a gift and a privilege that not everyone has. I would rather be one than not. It is the challenge and responsibility of empaths to harness that gift. I'm working on that too :)
it is also truly gift. i believe this.
Sometimes yes. It cam get in the way too.
Yes I agree with you! I think at age 67... I'm done with narcissists (finally) and earned strength and independence along the way! Wish I knew of this connection(empath/narcissist) when I was young!! However, I am proud I am kind, compassionate and caring to people/animals/earth. I think I've been able to help rather than hurt given my time on earth.
@@ChocolateprincessMaya Yes but I get the fact that sometimes it is not good to feel too much and to loose your focus.:-)
My opinion is different, being an empath myself, it doesn't do anyone any real good. The help you can provide others it's no more than an aspirin, it won't do any real change in their lives until they make the change for themselves. For the empath, it's giving and draining your energy towards others for free not getting anything in return except for a pat at your ego.
Best tip for any genuine empaths out there - Stay off "social" media. Seriously! You'll get caught up in a loop of caring about SO many things, often things which are out of your control, meaning you have little to zero influence in affecting, and you'll just burn yourself out. It's not to say stop caring and being aware of such things, just put your empathy in the right place where it matters most. Especially where it matters most to others, and I don't just mean other Human people...
YES!! This comment should be everywhere.
Yessss, thanks for the advice , thats one of my goals of 2024 !!!!
So wise.
Thank you for the reminder to keep going in that direction.
I just wish I had discovered videos about empaths and narcissists MUCH earlier in life.
Not much time left to enjoy life even if I DO heal! 🥺
@@clairecarscallen Sounds like you have guilt. Guilt's a useless emotion that doesn't often do anything productive, so just learn from the past mistakes as best you can and move on. No one's gonna do it for you. All the best 👍🙂
Most people who think they are empaths are NOT EVEN CLOSE. There are narcissists who say they are empaths.
A healthy empath is “of service” for others. An unhealthy empathy is a “people pleaser” to others.
I was with you until you got to Harry. She’s a narcissist. He’s a mess. He’s not in the slightest bit happy.
Yes
Well said!
Very well explained❤❤❤
Well said ❤
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The narcissist and the empath both have the same core wound of abandonment. Great point! Thank you.
Exactly! And the difference is one of them loves to help others,
and is selfless. The other one love’s to hurt others and is selfish!
@@robinmorrow9023 A narcissist finding an empath is the greatest gift they could ever receive, a empath being found by a narcissist is the worst fate they could be given.
this is not neccesarly true
empaths are usually people who got bullied because of lack of mothers love
narricists usually got builled by their dad verbally and phsically
im also an empath atlist i consider myself to be one
i also used to please people than after solving the root cause i only want to help people without getting anything back because it makes me feel good
@@allmic101 You’re exactly right!
@@jeniapustilnik567sounds to me that's lack of fathers love 🙄 some mothers can be verbally/physically abusive too. it's called child abuse/neglect. how petty you are to make it about gender
Was an empath until I consistently came across narcissists as friends and significant others , and I had to literally drop everyone and everything in order to get my energy back to normal.
I have gone through this to clean my heart of what I “felt”
was false …..against my intuitive connection so
I was left with 2 people in my life….i mama have felt sad and angry at first but never regretfully sad , anger yes anger was very deeply internalised
14 months later I have had
WITHOUT ANY DOUBTS A PHENOMENAL brain explosion and I’m ready for the universe within to out and visa versa as I have elevated so often in my life to see…and feel and fly into a state of absolutely zero mental connection with the body or brain all the way into
nothingness 💚
No 🧠 thinking exists there it’s another somewhere I just don’t know where yet or even if it’s a where at all
But I’ll say it
Thinking does not happen there at you just be light
I've done something similar, but when I get back into contact with new people, that's when it shows me there is still alot of healing to be done.
I’m in the same boat I am literally friendless and husband less.
I have faith there’s a reason for this and my tribe will find me
the world is a mirror, only ego can see ego.
Omg! I totally feel like that is where I am at right now. Having to reset in a different state. I think that is the only way I can stay focused on myself.
I always “felt” I was kind by not being rude when people insulted me directly out of sheer jealousy. I felt and believed my kindness can touch their heart and bring at least some change in their basic nature and behaviour. found out I was just a people pleaser. Sometimes I feel if I knew this 18 - 20 years ago, I could have accomplished so much better.
This makes so much sense. When I was in my 20's, my boyfriend at the time said in the middle of the night one night I sat straight up and yelled, "Who am I?" I never really understood why i did that. Now it makes sense. 30 years later and I'm still exploring who I am. My parents also wanted me to get a "real" job to be financially secure and safe, so I did high level administrative work for international companies for a couple of decades. I remember thinking, "if this is all there is to life, I hope it's a short one." I finally let go of their beliefs and have been working as a successful self-employed musician for the past 15 years.
That’s beautiful!
@@Barbinez11 Thank you!
You have no idea how much joy reading your comment makes me! And the harp… such a beautiful instrument
@@86oldbehave 💖💖💖
Do what you love and love what you do.
I’m an empath and I feel people’s energy but I used to people please and go out of my way. Once I awakened I don’t do that anymore. Once I could read people, I knew their intentions. I could tell who was being authentic and who wasn’t. I let those people go. I no longer need anyone’s validation but I’m still an empath and I can still feel people’s energy. That has not changed. I just tell those people to fuck off now. Lol 😂
Same here.😂
Same and it feels damn good ❤
This!!!!
@@a.s6841I feel like you should write fortune cookies with that perspective of yours🍪...
I appreciate this insight 🙏
When you don’t people please you get labeled as “hostile and aggressive “
Exactly; people say stuff like that to try and manipulate you.
A bully, a teacher, a dogmatist, narcs pull all strings once you stop pleasing them and play the little puppy with big eyes, worshipping their grandiosity. NO!
😂
Absolutely true ...thank you for confirming my thoughts
I feel so blessed for stumbling onto this page....I never lacked attention because I never got any as a child and I do not seek attention never liked a crowd I'm a home body and rather be alone to not feel others negative energy and thought I could feel.mine expectations are mine now
A healed Empath is not a people pleaser they have boundaries
yes. I am not a people pleaser, though I am an empath. I have become my own self by rebelling and going against patterns imposed to me.
I have boundaries now but for sooo long I felt SoS save ones self and I became lost still in helping others and In the NOW I have a heart to help but not too linger long around people with Victim mentality
Boundaries are difficult for people to learn. I've recently learned boundaries are for ourselves not others. I was applying then incorrectly for a long time.
Finally out of the people pleaser stage. I'm a introvert. But now I stand up for myself. And put my needs first. 😊
Same here
I feel you.
Me too and it's so hard
‘Finally’ right. Took me 60 yrs.
Me exactly
- Is who you are in your life who you are meant to be? Answer: I don't know who I am meant to be.
- Whose expectations are you fulfilling? Answer: I don't know what my expectations are.
- Are the things you do each day things that make you happy? Answer: I don't know what makes me happy.
This video showed me that I don't know absolutely anything about myself.
Meditation gives answers
Be blessed by the divine ✨️
Just sit with yourself what makes you happy do that everyday for a while. What do you like? Make a list I like flowers etc. What qualities about myself do I like? Stay in prayer and be guided by the Holy Spirit. Have fun getting to know yourself!
I would highly suggest going to a Codependence Anonymous meeting. Also, read Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody.
It's always hard to observe when super nice people start learning growing healthy boundaries, how hostile the environment judges them. As a coach I observed that a hundred times and I always prepare them in front. I will tell them, many people will try to guilt trip you, play emotional drama on you just because you imply healthy boundaries. Don't worry about it. But be prepared for its getting worse before you get your respect. Stick to it and after some weeks, people will change towards you. And watch out for the rare people who are cheering for you finally having a voice! Stay with them.
and others will fall away
It was explained to me like you are wearing this white flowing gown or cloak going into the light of healing and healthy boundaries and the toxic relationships are grabbing that gown/cloak and dont want you to leave them and want to pull you back and we might be tempted to try to pull them along with us. The toxic relationships will be the ones harshly rejecting your boundaries the relationships worth keeping Will respect your new boundaries. Cut the ties with anyone trying to hold you back. Detach with love.
This is my exact thing, I'm inside a black box and it's scary to venture out of it, therapy is helping
Amen
So right, most will fall away at the slightest boundary... you can be super soft and well spoken about it but energy doesnt lie, they feel there is a boundary and thats not fun or too confrontational.@africanprincessmaya
Psychologists call this “fawning” it’s a thing. I’m 47 and took me this long to truly learn this and shift it. I’m an empath and my sister a narcissist. Both our parents are wounded and not emotionally available so abandoned from day one.
It’s amazing how far Spiritual awareness and psychology has come in the last 20 years. Being on a healing journey now for 18 years this has all only come to light in the last few, since 2020 really…
You really should stop classifying people according to just one trait they have..
I can relate. Like you, empath and narcissist
sister. Difficult to maneuver, but possible to do.
I think the score of how it is, has been known much longer than 20. Jung knew full well what was what and he has been deceased since 1961. Besides, neg energy emitted, can only attract same. Being a people pleaser is neg. energy, being a narcissist (deeply wounded, carrying their unresolved pain) is also neg. energy. Without forgiveness and unconditional love, life will be a struggle. One can only be loved by another at the same level of love they hold for self. Why? Bc it is all energy. Lower vibe attracts same. Want different, then one has to find higher self mode, the higher vibration. If one doesn't see their own self worth, no one else will see it either - guaranteed. Be more to self to get more.
Reminds me of kids books.
Monolithic thinking, like "Gary the grocer lives next to Barry the Barber."
@@thedolphin5428
@@thedolphin5428 You really should stop assuming an entire behaviour from a comment explaining a specific thing
he's basically explaining what happens when youre in the wrong place in your family system (Translated this word from Dutch) : the natural flow of energy (from parents to children) is disrupted and life becomes a struggle. I'm reading a book on this subject and I'm 17
@Zotnamm - Reading your comment has made me very intrigued on this book that you mentioned about the natural flow of energy being disrupted from parents to children. I'd be curious to know the name of this book as I'm realizing my own parents were very expertly (but covertly) disruptive, intrusive, and made themselves a general nuisance in my upbringing. I was never allowed to have peace and have always felt a constant sense of obligation toward them (it's also why I have trouble maintaining that flow of energy because I'm used to it always being disrupted so the point that I associate "natural flow" with "impending doom"). I'd be very grateful if you could let me know this book. It feels like something I need to read myself!
@@PreYeah It’s originally a Dutch book. The English version is called: The Fountain, find your place, by Els van Steijn
@@Zotnamm Thank you for the title, will check this book out, you are already spiritually enlightened 🙏🏾
I wouldn't say im in the wrong place in my family system now because I've awakened to why im where I am now. Once you know why you are where you are you know you are the gift to your family, the blessed one because I escaped from it, whereas my sisters are still being manipulated and emotionally abused by our father which is the role they chose to play in the family. I'm free, I don't have to put on an act to please him, im the truth teller and truth seeker, The Chosen One. It's not easy, but it wasn't ment to be, i chose that, but you can't ascend if you don't go through the struggles or as I call them the levels of consciousness so I can have the experiences and see them from a more enlightened perspective, not a victim perspective anymore. ❤
I’ve been that people pleaser most of my life,, to the point I made myself literally sick ,,, learn to say NO!!! Learn to speak UP!!! Learn to be YOU! Stop being a doormat , pick yourself up, I love being so empowered in the world, within myself!!! REMEMBER YOUR IDENTITY❤️
Yes. Empaths are always tired .
@@Clevelandsteamer324I was ALWAYS exhausted and never knew why.
Yes 🎉this ❤😊
If I sense people are manipulating me to do something, I give myself permission to dismiss them. Actions should be from the heart and not manipulation.
All easier said then done. Remember there are people out there that have had a lot more trauma than you. You have no clue what someone else might be dealing with.
I’m an empath, and I have never heard it explained as precisely as you have. You have no idea how impactful this video is for me. Thank you!
Same here ❤
you'll feel what you sow, darkness
Yes me too! Thank you
agreeeeee!!!!
Eventually, when you really discover who you are, at your core, at your essence, nothing in the world makes you happy. You exude happiness, peace, and joy, by being in the presence of your essence. Peace and bliss flow through you. It’s a journey, a beautiful and at times challenging journey.❤ thanks Aaron, for helping us work through it🙏🏻
It's true that feelings can be set aside. Reactions can be controlled. Nothing matters. It's a neutrality. It's not available all the time. Learning curve. Energy isn't felt all the time. Sometimes.
Although I agree with you, you put nothing makes you happy. Do you mean nothing external?
I feel finding inner peace makes me feel happy with all outside situations. Joy is in everything. Everything is easier.
I'm sorry if I have misinterpreted this. Xxx
@@Julie-netball infinite perceptions on this subject, no wrong answer. I’ll attempt to elaborate mine. True happiness is from within. It’s in the silent stillness and once I became aware of that source of infinite love, I am able to choose it in every moment. Food tastes better, the body feels alive and rejuvenated, all the senses are enhanced and gratitude is felt more deeply allowing a deep enjoyment and appreciation of all things. Flow, clarity and harmony expands in the day to day tasks. Vibrant joy. It seems all challenges invite us to let go and find this awareness within if only we accept the present moment as it without fear and judgment. It’s a personal journey. 🙏🏻💕✨
The BEST spiritual teachers are the ones who experienced deep inner child wounding so they can empathize completely ❤
Hell no that ain't necessary why are we conditioned to believe that we only evolve through suffering and hardship ? The best healers are those who grew up in a healthy respectful environment filled with love
It's like "takes one to understand one" just like best addiction counselors are recovering addicts themselves.. yes others can be all that too but it's almost like you have to really experience and feel it..text books only get u so far, unfortunately actually have lived thru that pain only then you really understand..❤
The best teacher is the one that teaches you, touches your specific issues. Makes sense to you. No one else. Resonates with you.
Wrong!! The best Spiritual Teachers DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR ILLUSIONS(the past). The best Spiritual Teachers help you to Acknowledge and Accept God Consciousness AS THE VERY LIFE OF YOUR BEING!!(Like Krishna, Buddha and Jesus did before their teachings were misinterpreted by human intellect and made into religions of Duality(or Non-Powers)!!!
A Spiritual teacher that focuses on anything but this PRINCIPLE is simply leading you down the road of ignorance!!
@@varvarajoannou7715Nope!! Think again.....
But before you can answer this properly you must know the NATURE OF GOD.....Do you know the Nature of God??
Jesus Aaron - this is me 100%. I am an only child, and lived with super narcissistic and alcoholic parents. I moved away and got my life in order for 25 years. My awful Mother has been sucking my energy since December of 2022 because she is sick and alone. I am going to have to listen to this again and again.
Put yourself first - don't let the parasite control you again. Only help at your own convenience - you'll get no thanks for self sacrifice and being used again.
@@Blue24Osprey so true - just because someone gives birth to you doesn't mean you owe them forever. You are spot on.
❤❤
We can love people from far away. 😌
She made a conscious, deliberate choice to be abusive toward you at the time you most needed a real mother. She didn’t do “the best she could.” This is a crime against all of humanity, a serious bad decision. People need support to break away from these very spiritually sick people. Do this or regret it bitterly. I have no patience with people who abused their little children. Sending love & support.
Yes, being an empath is the result of unmet childhood needs, being an under-individuated adult child, and a lack of boundaries. Once I confronted the countless ways I was abandoned by my primary caregivers and processed the grief stemming from that (took years), I learned healthy boundaries and eventually self-care and individuation.
Love your response! I have learned we carry on what our parents instilled. We still self-abandon at times.
Same.
what I say is that the empath has to learn to exude their own energy to overcome totally absorbing others' energy. That's what an empath has to do to take on leadership roles.
This IS true! I’m just learning this! I’m 48 now and I’m completely being myself and the funny thing (not so funny), it keeps people away.
I’ve been told I exude sincerity and compassion….
Then I think about what happened to Jesus.
❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
I don’t mind trying to set a holiday tone when everyone is doing last-minute shopping. But every day? It’s fake and exhausting. I’m not (edit: good) at it.
That makes sense. People pleasing was a survival mode so it feels threatening when one first starts to respect themselves vs people pleasing. Worth it though.
@@prisillaspace being strong keeps people away? More like weakness attracts people.
It's better to have peace and be a good example to others.
People who can take advantage of me... I realized they feel it's acceptable BECAUSE they are able to do it. They didn't respect me for it.
@@tashastarling6573 well said. I want to work on being an example and a role model instead of just going with the flow and doing things I'm not as proud of. It's a hard paradigm to shift
My body had to take a 1 hour nap after watching this eye opening video! I have never before been able to lay on the couch and allow myself to take a nap..this was the first time in 36 years on this planet🌍 Wow, and thank you for doing the job you are here to do❤
enjoy your new napping 💖
Its a nice feeling, peace within. (:
You're leaving fight, flight or freeze mode... I slept for a year! ❤ It's nice when you begin to understand you're safe, you're okay and you're exactly where you need to be!🫂 Blessings to you friend!
Wow. That's amazing. I can go a month without a nap but when I finally get one it's so so nice. Hope you're still getting one in when you can.
This is so Me. I have been a people pleaser, especially for my parents. I walked on egg shells to be sure everything stayed peaceful. I am a Mother of 3 amazing young men. I am about to be 43 years old. I finally saw, thanks to a good friend, that I needed to get away from my parents. I am surely stuck partially in childhood.
I'm blown away by how clearly you shared what I grappled with severely in my 20's. I remember having no idea at all of who I was or any sense of identity ...not being in my own body...feeling uncomfortable in my own skin and always looking outside of myself and tuning into the emotional state of those around me to get who I needed to be for everyone else to be ok and not even knowing how to ask myself what do I want? And what do I NOT want! Individuation...brilliant...enough said!
That makes sense. My mother came down with debilitating depression when I was eight years old, and my whole life became trying to make her happy. Crazy how things in your childhood program your subconscious.
They are only habits. It is like quit smoking.
damn, my mum got really depressed after my dad left and barely left the couch and we only really had potato chips and fast food, etc. she was sleeping all the time. i was probably like 7 or around there, i wonder if thats why i feel the need to clean and do things for other people all the time.
Yeah similar when my Dad left the Doctor put Mum on a tranquiliser and never told her she could come off it, she never felt better after that day Dad left and she slept all the time, and I took on the role of Mum, for too younger siblings, until I had enough after four years, of looking after her, and went to Dads for a holiday, where I was ignored and allowed to make many of my own choices as he was never around. I remember I felt invisible and like a boarder in his home. I definately was a people pleaser due to the parenting I had
i been depressed for years ive always put on a smile what you describing is narcissist manipulation
I am an Empath, but I have never felt out of my confident frame. I do not force anything or change for anyone.
I resonate with those that allow me to be me. I am aware of others energetic field and choose to be kind to everyone so long as they are present and authentic.
Same here You can be an empaths and be confident
Don't interactions/ relationships with others inspire you to grow toward a better version of yourself? And would that not be considered changing?
I, too, resonate strongly with those who allow me to be me, yet sometimes disappoint myself with doing too much for others when in their environment and out of balance/ in need of attention, thus losing time/ putting myself out of balance.
Your statement, "I have never felt out of my confident frame" is impressive and somewhat incredible... as in, never since realizing your an empath or never since first memories of childhood? NEVER is a strong word🙏🏻
As a therapist, I work with this all the time and it is always so exciting to be with and watch someone find their own answers. But how you described this is absolutely beautiful. I don't know what it was that made me click on but as we know, there is nothing random about anything and I have already saved this to listen to later. It's so lovely to find someone explain this without really trying to sell something or foist their 'one size' beliefs ...thanks so much, you are wonderful. x
What training do you have in the condition of Empathy? How were you taught to diagnose an Empath? Could you share some of the research you studies? What is your credential, specifically?
I am very impressed. Finally this high Empath can readily admit to this deep understanding that I wanted my family and everyone to be happy,as in pleased. I became exceediedngly independent and by 13 was earning all my own money while attending school as a top A dtudent. And this perfectionism persisted for the rest of my life,which gratefully has merely just begun...at even 64 years young. Excellent work young Maestro. Thank you.❤
Totally agree
Hello fellow mental health worker. I see you, you are awesome, appreciated, and loved! Namaste.
Have a good life as a therapist!
I’m an Empath to the core. I feel everything and lately it has been so incredibly painful I have being to dissociate from living - an empty shell watching this body from the outside looking in. Thank you for this message ❤
Me too so you suffer from anxiety depression I do still have toxic family trauma bond. Why can’t we let go
❤❤
I have too on the really difficult days.. you’re not alone 🩵 we’re living in really difficult times right now.
@@SA-px3lnbecause we believe they’ll change. We think because they’re family, that they should treat us how we deserve - but they don’t.
@@youcancallmesteph so what did you do release the ties attachment?
Aaron, you totally hit the nail on the head. You described me as a child to a T! Mom and dad are dead now. I totally changed after my mom died. She was the most critical person in my life. I wish I wouldn't have waited for her to pass in order to let myself grow. However, it is never too late to do this. You are never too old to change.
I’ve heard this from many people. The chains of family contracts and bonds are so strong hey. My parents in their 70’s now and I’m still trying to break them before they die as I know they will then but don’t want to be waiting for that.
Empaths and narcissists are two sides of the same coin. They just either use their power for good or evil. Being a good empath people pleaser is a detriment to ourselves though.
I’d rather be the people pleaser, empath than a narcissist empath
An empath can help, can heal if used right....I know this because I do it.....the problem is who they are around or try to heal....my ex was a very strong narcassist and I am a very strong empath withstrong emotions......bad combination....he drained me so fast I didnt realise what was happenin and made me ilk (was with him 14 months) .....I really wanted to help him but didn't realise it was too big a job for Me alone....not a mistake I will ever make again
My empathy doesn't come from ego or to take from others....I surpassed that when I was younger....of course everyone expects give and take.....without it people would just take take take......
My mum died when I was 17.....dad when I was 30.....the child thing doesn't apply to me
I was born sensitive and feel I have my empathy from that and not childhood trauma. It makes me able to connect and understand others deeply and Connect with Nature and animals 🫶 I don’t want a cure for that, I think in general the world needs more empathy, love and understanding. I do however see hightened empathy combined with trauma can lead to unhealthy people pleasing tendencies and THAT I’m working with - I call myself a renovering people pleaser 😆
I agree with this. I was sensitive and empathic to nature and animals from the start of my life too. I don't want to lose that and the world does need more of it.
But I do have a degree of empathy that comes from hypervigilance attached to childhood trauma.
They are two different parts of the same psyche. One is positive and healthy. And one comes more from the shadow.
Both serve their own function. Neither is right or wrong, depending on how and why it is used. They just are.
The rest is up to me.
I think it's important to check in with yourself on the regular and note intention.
Awareness is everything. I see you. 🙏
i feel the same way. are You guys an INFP/INFJ?
@@thegoddesswithin8859 Thank you for that lovely answer, I totally agree with you - and Thank you for seeing me
@@LaciRae yes INFP 🫶
I'm INFJ.
Thank you for covering the maintained victimization/ manipulation of being an empath. I'm an empath but have been uncomfortably aware of (or otherwise denied) how like a narcissist I can be-- similar in ultimate self-centeredness and atomization, only I've been scared, sensitive and self-downplaying instead of demanding. And identified myself as a victim and didn't get out of it. So I appreciate you acknowledging how things are, I think its important for processing and moving through the healing process.
This is the realisation I came to also, there can be a combination of both going on, as an empath you can start feeling as though only you can help everyone - the world even, which is almost 'guru' mentality which can turn in egotism/virtue signalling and ultimately narcissism - it's a complex subject!
The part about feeling unsafe and constantly tuning and morphing not only resonated but transported me back to specific and hard times in my life.
A healthy empath is "of service" rather than the term "people pleaser" really helps put things in the right perspective.
Its saying " How can I Help". And then helping with your boundaries working with you" maturely.
Beautiful experience for both parties.
Being an empath is a gift that most of us were not taught to respect, appreciate and use for its wisdom. We may have been wounded in childhood, but that doesn't mean we are all stuck in childhood. Once we understand our gift, and we're healed the gift can be used with boundaries and wisdom. The gifts do not leave us once we're healed.
Perfectly said! 🙏🧡
ENMESHMENT TRAUMA.
Enmeshment is a developmental form of trauma
where you’re raised in environments
where there is blurred, unclear, or a complete lack of boundaries
between family members.
In cases where enmeshment is present,
members often have a difficult time differentiating their own emotions,
needs, desires, and issues, from others in the dynamic.
If dad is upset, then you are too.
“I can’t be ok, if you’re not ok.
So I need to fix others to feel safe."
There’s excessive over-involvement and over-reliance.
This pattern gets hard-wired into your nervous system.
Your intimate partnerships start to become chaotic:
- lack of identity and sense of self, inability to think for oneself
- fawning ("fixing" identity)
- people-pleasing
- excessive fear of conflict
- trouble forming and maintaining healthy relationships
- reliance on external validation
- over-run by feelings of guilt, shame, and resentment
- chronic health issues
This creates a massive push/pull dynamic
that’s characteristic of a Trauma Bond.
Anyone who says “I’m done with relationships” is likely Enmeshed...
Thank you
Wow, thank you.
Amazing!!👏
This hit hard. ❤
Thank you for the language 🙏🏿 this gave me needed clarity
My parents were alcoholics. Being an empath helped me navigate around them. Became a compulsive people pleaser when I was young and it continued into adulthood to get love. Finally I can control that compulsion a little better now that I am an older person. It’s exhausting.
Aaron thank you! I’m an empath- severe depression/anxiety. I’m healing my childhood so I can get through life 🙏🏼❤️
I wish you so much luck, strength and blessings for your journey !!! Much Love!! :)
Me too. Thank you for sharing this. Many of us Empaths struggle with severe depression/anxiety. I have been trying to heal from this also. 🙏💜
@@CTahoe1 good luck and sending many blessings your way. It is awful! Praying for you!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼
@@VivBeyer1111 thank you kindly!! I wish the same for you!! BLESSINGS!!
Wishing you the best!
harry was never going to be king.........but he did individuate, this was a great video, shared with family member
"When you individuate you start to grow then you help other people to grow"❤
Actually, takinig responsibility for other people's emotions has always been an issue for me. Thx for bringing this up, it's really made me reconsider why I feel guilt in the times I shouldn't
No one is responsible for anyone else's thoughts or feelings, only their own.
and does this prevent you from being competitive too? so many times i remember seeing how important it is to someone that they win a game & so i just let them. or else have you seen someone else is getting made fun of and say something dumb (for example) to get that attention off of them /and towards you instead ?
@@ArcheryRuleZ Yes, especially in sports but specifically when I go to the gym. I cant get myself to be competitive because, I feel like it's flaunting too much from an empathetic viewpoint. I don't want to be the showoff
Thanks for sharing I innerstand this now, especially with my sister. Empath & Narcissist, abandoned by dad
I don’t see myself as ‘an empath’. I see myself as empathic, meaning I have boundaries, self love and self worth. I do not give 100% of myself because I need a lot of that percentage to function in this world in a healthy way and also to allow others to take responsibility for themselves. So being empathic I can be in tune with others to be able to help them when I am willing and able to.
Its hard to master, sincere congratulation. This is also my personal aim, to become balanced "Empathic" person. :)
Thank you for making the distinction. It's a very important difference.
I need to master this as well , thanks for explaining how you cope with being an empath in order to function well ...
Thank you for this video. When I was a kid, my mother had undiagnosed mental illness. Every morning I would lay in bed to feel her energy so I would know what I would be walking into for breakfast. Ironically, I married a man who had a similar situation with his Dad, and he became a narcissist. I tried to please my husband and nothing was ever good enough. I finally walked away after 30 years. I never understood until watching this video. Thank you.
That's so good that you managed to walk away. What helped in making that happen?
I am also leaving after 30 years. I was too afraid to leave. I've had enough.
@@Shay-wl4lx that's great. I wish you a lot of happyness and peace.
😇👍🏼🙏🏼
My mother is always complaining about her state of being,and I absorb it...Absorb her sadness and madness ,I thought I am weird for that..because I easily start to feel the same emotion as the person.
I have 2 kids one is very compassionate and I believe he is an empath and one is a narcissist the narcissistic child’s big influence was my mother the narcissist my empathy child’s main influence was me the empath I currently live with the narcissist because the other child is a marine and is stationed I’ve always wanted an understanding of everything and the answers to life because it’s so hard for me to understand others and why they are the way they are thank u for helping me to have a better understanding I’m starting to realize I need to understand myself in order to have the answers I need
Thank you so much for this video. My mom devoted all of her time to my little brother when he was born. He have a temper tantrum when he didn’t get what he wanted (he’s a Leo and I’m a Libra) and to this day my mom STILL gives him whatever he needs or wants and I am still told “you can’t do that” “that’s a silly idea” “that makes you look ugly” etc. It has taken me years to realize that no one is going to make me feel safe or whole- I have to do that myself! So thank you, I appreciate your knowledge!🙏🫶🏻💕
What a toxic mother you should leave her
@@KarolineTheEmpath You cant, no other biology will release nowhere near the amount of oxytocin that touching your mother does
And oxytocin is Love its what attaches you to other biology and helps you forget your emotional trauma,
That's why before the Slavers enslaved us we didn't live in separate huts , we stayed together hugging each other all the time
So the correct instruction is hug your mum more and then if the answer is we don't like touching each other, then we know the solution and the reason for the situation
Which means the remedy and solution cant be explained
Biology is not designed to be separated, the Slavers did that, divide and rule the feminine
So sorry to hear that. My mother is much like this, my brother is the golden child and I am a Libra too. I am happy that you managed to find your balance, peace, and happyness.
Sad thing is most kids can’t step into their selves without demonizing their parents who did the best they could. Seems kindness and empathy are lost in this new age and there is no gift that anyone is giving world by hurting others…lots of maturity needed to do it with grace.
@@7oclockmiracles88 my mother... Maybe she did what she could, but it wasn't that much. She didn't cook, she didn't clean the house. She didn't work. She was always the victim and I had to support her emotionally then financially. Now I am 35. My mother still has dept, even though besides me, her siblings also helped her financially, but still, again, she got into a mess and I have to send her money. And I do, because I do love her, but I can see she will never grow up. Narcissist never grow up properly and take responsibility. She is also codependent and after the divorce with my father, she attached herself to my brother. My brother is now 26, and he has absolutely no friends, never had a girlfriend and lives with my mum. My mother often sabotaged his jobs so to have him with herself 24/7. Only now, when she is more worried about money, she allows him to work. She is not concerned about the future of her kids. She only wants her own needs met. She is not the picture book mother who does everything for her children. Narcissists are different. Not every mother is perfect. My grandmother wasn't perfect either. She was married and cheated on her husband with the Chatolic pastor, who then left the church, married her, and became alcoholic. When she was old, really old, around 80, once when I went to visit her, she was in bed with another, retired pastor. That picture really burned into my retinas. These things are not normal, I think.
Holy sh*t...I was in tears half way through. This is some of the best therapy I have ever witnessed. God Bless you Aaron.
Thank you Aaron. I didn't individuate until I was in my fifties, but I DID IT! Thank you for this information. Much love.
Being childlike is where I have been. And it is full of joy. I became a people pleaser. and I have no more to give.
Wow I am actually in that individuation process right now without even realizing. It feels like a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach that brings out a primal urge to be who I am, and if someone is trying to make me live the way they think I should live in their minds, Cutting them off becomes an instant.
I definitely understand
This is exactly what I’ve been going through for a few years now ❤
You can use them as mirrors aswell? They show you what you dont like in yourself too.
I am in this mode right now as well - its totally enlightening, freeing and a little bit scary. I thought I was becoming a hermit because I cant be bothered with people anymore. Sick to death of them and cutting myself off.
@@activevibrantlife You’ll be in that hermit phase for quite awhile & it’s necessary because you’re able to really discover who you are at your core. Then eventually you’ll come back to other people but you’ll be so grounded in your authenticity, with iron clad boundaries & you’ll be empowered, having let go of all victim mentality. But while you’re in hermit mode, you’ll question it at times and the loneliness will cut deep. So remind yourself it’s not forever & enjoy getting to really know yourself, maybe for the 1st time. Sending ❤️
I'm strongly empathic, I had a loving mother and was safe and well cared for as a child, and I am in no way stuck in childhood. What a dismissive idea.
You must have gone through so much healing to get to this point Aaron. I resonate with everything you say, I am empath. I am so proud of you. All my love, XO Zuzi
I was very lucky. My parents encouraged me to be myself and to never stop learning. To always use critical thinking as well as understanding others. I think both my parents cared so much about helping others is probably the reason I do the things I do now. I have more to say but phone at 2%. Thank you for sharing
I was the mediator of my parents' marriage my entire childhood and early adulthood. By the time I was 40 I realized I had become the meditator to most of my friends and eventually it took a toll on my health mentally/physically. One day I decided no longer would I give this service to others and began to put myself first, not in a selfish way but a love for myself and others by not being an enabler. I found that others do nothing about their situation when they allow their sorrows to continue and being an enabler, I really was hurting others rather than helping them. I am no longer an emotional vomit bucket for others and am happier than ever imagined. Of course, I lost some "so called" friends but it was a great relief of not being exposed to constant negative energy and have an enormous positive energy within myself.
So many years I wasted on people who had NO intentions on making a personal change, instead I spend valuable time loving life as the gift that was given.
it was so draining at school as a kid. literally my energy was not in my body but whole class everyone. i got adhd from then. and avoid tendency to game/music/movie to' have my own space' because i didn't know how to tune off and have myself.
Now I understand everything. Thank you for the perfect explanation. 💚 No wonder why you feel alone when everybody loves you while you doing what they need.
The inner child comes out to help us through the times when we need it most! Thankful for this!
I literally couldn’t stop crying watching this , it’s really a challenging path to get understanding of being an empathetic person coming from traditionally Christian family. Being misunderstood feels isolating.
Human growth can be lonley.
You are enough
I completely related to your comment
Their Soooo Extreme n Fake Trained That Way 💯
I feel like American Christianity breeds ppl pleasing.
I wish I could have learned this teaching 60 years ago, but better late then never ❤
I'm in agreement with you on that one Robin
Work within - not without! You cannot give to others that which you haven't given to yourself FIRST. If you don't take care of your needs first, it is disingenuous and you will have no longevity in any relationship. Be kind, compassionate and patient with yourself and your will exude these qualities with others as well and set healthy boundaries. Great video.
Oh my God, this is incredible. I believe the Holy Spirit sent me here. I've never heard of you or seen your face. I'm only a few minutes into the video. I'm much older than you, but you just described my life. Except my Mother never had the courage to leave my narcissistic stepfather. My Mother called it gift of prophecy. My 5th grade teacher explained what 'empathetic' meant and used me as the example. Unfortunately, he defined it as not only feeling what others feel but sacrificing for others. Taking on their pain. When I was younger, that would actually happen. My Mother worked incessantly. When you said being self-sufficient, I literally had to pull my car over. I'm going to finish looking at this video. I cried out to God and He sent you. Bless you. 🙏
It is a gift from Almighty God to be able to give and not expect anything back. I am a child of Almighty God.
It is never nessacary to be validated by another flawed human being.
Because we are all flawed.
If someone can not accept me with my flaws aware of and I am on top on those flaws so they do harm anyone else.
I am an empath, if someone takes advantage ofvmy kindness or mistakes my kindness for a weakness...I will gracefully shake the dust from my feet and pray for that person.
I will not shift blame to mom and dad. I am a grown adult and that makes me responsible for my own actions.
Thank you Holy Spirit gor your guidance.
Thank you Jesus for loving me.
This is the thing. I’m the same way, and people feel so truly demonic nowadays that all the empathy feels like something we should plug up. Even if you’re strong and command respect, people will still want to abuse your empathy out of their own volition. What’s the point of using it anymore? For children yes, but for any adults, it seems useless to have.
Very interesting. I have been researching childhood trauma. My sister is narcissistic and very focused on herself, and I am very sensitive and feel and pay attention to others. It does make sense. I am not drawn to her narcissistic ways. I have been creating better boundaries for myself lately. This presentation does make sense on many levels.
Exactly, i am un t'he same position as you!!! T'he same. I set clear bounderies, no call me , just texts... She drawn me soooo much!!! She let me withoyt any energy, And I am realizing about all of this patterns
My brother and I were the same. He bullied the heck out of me, and I became very kind, although with 1000 other issues "unrelated" to it such as addiction, self loathing, etc. I've always given all my love to everyone else so I had none left for myself I guess. I'm working on it, I want to be someone I'm proud of.
...Wow. Like... holy crap. This really blew my mind and made me understand why my relationships have always been the way that they are. I am an empath and this makes so much sense that I really am speechless. It's time to set some boundaries. I've been hurt so much, as recent as today. My entire life. Thank you for sharing this. I have been giving all of my energy for everyone since I can remember and now I understand why.
You literally describe me and my brother and explained to me why I keep attracting certain kinds of people. I always tell myself it's because I like confident borderline cocky people but it's literally my way of staying comfortable in my discomfort. Thanks for making this video.
I think I have to go a long way in this case!🙄
I was very far from myself because of others and when I decided to be myself, I realized that no one wants to be with me anymore!!
No one accepts that I belong to myself and not to their wishes🤦♀️
That’s when rejection is blessings because it pushes you to find those who accept you. It’s never too late to put yourself first. Being mindful of your feelings comes naturally for me but I kinda had to figure out others don’t do that. And they aren’t as in tune with themselves. What I’ve found is people that remind me of my family dynamic, I automatically move myself away from them. I reject them. Not them as people but just having access to me.
Hey, Aaron.
Thank you for the perfect message at the perfect time (as it applies to me).
I don’t know about others, but I need to say that I have a bad reaction to your use of AI clips for highlighting key points;
My heart is open to the genuine message, then it “clicks shut” the nanosecond I see the artificial, soulless “people” on the screen.
The energy goes back and forth throughout. High vs. low, real vs. fake.
I feel you n I’m ok with now 🤷♀️ it hurts confusion all those emotions but being told I changed I act different etc is enuff for me to know
Thank you for never giving up on being your true self you have inspired me greatly, especially lately, I loved the live meditation it was unbelievable. Before you made this video I could sense and relate to everything you're saying about your dad and all of the expectations Of you. I'm proud to say that I'm an empath. Thank you for your guidance!
It's never too late. I started at 60 yrs old differentiating and breaking away from the family enmeshment. I made major life changes. I believe I am now the scapegoat of the family as a result but I don't care, I'm much happier and living my most authentic life. The experience has been the most challenging emotionally but the most rewarding.
Same here. Txs for sharing.
That first question brought tears to my eyes. I've been coming out of shrinking in any way the last 6 years of my life and Ive reached a very crossroads moment. Being all I've been placed here to be is the highest form of love for myself and the collective and I have to be okay losing ppl along the way. Thank you for this.
It's crazy how timely and accurate this is esp when you talked about leadership energy and having a strong sense of self. I am a recovering people pleaser and empath and I see it in my life. Cheers to progressing and healing, and cheers to more promotion! (Life promotion not just work)
I have been an empath as long as I can remember...I feel I was born like this. My childhood and life experiences simply taught me to not only trust myself but develop and manage my gifts.🌹🕊️
It’s funny cause I have both empathic and narcissistic qualities at least in the way you described them… absolutely crazy how well you explained this. I watch your videos from time to time, thank you for the good work you put out and the messages you bring to humanity
@ConsciousCreatrix absolutely, I don’t believe I’m a genuine narc but my “narcissistic” traits seem to be “lack of consideration for others” depending on who you ask and yet I find that my biggest issue was focusing too MUCH on others and abandoning myself. My “selfishness” was only observed once I began saying no to people and prioritizing myself. It’s all perspective
Oh yes. In my case I always felt like a people pleaser and a victim. In my actual process more and more my narcisstic parts are coming up. I often hear, that I am egoistic. But I believe, this is a way of healing, to come in the healthy middle at one point. 😊
Omg Aaron, this is such crucial information for me. You did a meditation video a while back, I watched it last year, and it was about this concept of feeling the separation between you and other people.... you had us "pull our power back to us".... And this was so intense for me.... at the moment I pulled it all back into me there was an electricity blackout in my town...at that exact moment! It didnt feel like a coincidence! You are a great spiritual teacher!!
I have hard time pulling my energy back it’s glued to narcissist family I can’t let go causing anxiety depression
Did this happen for real? Tell me more
@@SA-px3ln me to narcasist slum lord cuz I have no place of own like I need to go & my hrs messed up & every area every time I fix it gets messed up & ran out of time I needed & hoping to still. Also, yes giving at expense of self. I'm learning nit to, but still. I am a bit stuck with family member I love & is my twin flame soul mate too. The rest I truly cut out, cuz they are asleep in either extreme religious a bit or in the middle, etc & the other lust spirits,cuz promiscuity in the past & so forth, I don't like. It's sad. Chaotic in a way that makes me mure chaotic energy, plus toxic. The one that's always been here in USA I also can't trust lying bulky. He's not evil or bad, just idk controlling & idk if he dues it from caring or not, but that's not what I got really. I am awake & what I heard & see I didnt want to hear again or care.
He is. He is such a normal person, but yet supernatural with those powers from connecting meditation. Hus voice & all you can tell. Serious. I like that. He & Victor Oddo like no one like them.
Wow, I’m 56 years old, I had no idea about all this. It makes so much sense. Thank you so much for having the courage to share this information. It makes so much sense. Now I wanna share it with my kids but I’m going to resist the temptation because I have a feeling it’s just because I want to take responsibility for how they are🤣 I just want to live from my authentic, true self, and it seems so challenging at times.🙏🏻💕✨
Dude thank you for the videos past yrs. Peace be upon you swiftly. Live long and prosper.
Thank you for this video. I find that many people who say they are "empaths" really just don't have boundaries. I find that what's healthy is to have empathy for someone but at the same time keep a boundary knowing where you end and the other begins.
This is 100% accurate about how you become an empath and how it manifests as an adult.
I had to learn where my emotions start and end and where the other persons energy starts
Now i use my "feeling others emotions" to help them..
An interesting thing to note - if i didnt grow up in the family i grew up in, i wouldnt have learnt what i learnt and been able to help the people ive been helping...
This speaks to "Everything works out FOR my good".. whether good or bad.
I'm an empath since forever and I confirm what this guy is saying. What this guy tells you here, people, is one of the most important things you need to hear and do in your life (if not THE most important thing)! My empath nature still tends to tune in to others' energies from time to time, but every time I chose and managed to individuate, my life changed tremendously for better.
Well that was an interesting take on the situation. It is something I've been working on lately, so I have become aware of this pattern, but this is a very concise explanation. In my opinion, the reason some people become narcissists and others empaths is because it's kind of two sides of the same coin. Both are struggling with uncomfortable emotions and thoughts. The empath blames themselves for those feelings, while the narcissist blames others.
Thank you so much for the video
I grow very tired of the term "empath". it is human nature to feel the energy of other people, its just that many people have lost or ignore this innate ability, being empathetic is the natural state of being a human, but society has made many lose touch with this part of themselves, so the few who have retained this skill are labeled as empathetic or overly sensitive. However with that being said I do appreciate this video and you trying to educate people. Thank you
I'm tired of everyone labeling themself as an empath as well, but wasn't able to articulate what the problem was. thanks for sharing your comment! I agree 100%!
np @@juliaz1965
This is such a great point... perhaps empathy is a spectrum where some people are more attuned to others while some are not as attuned... but you're so right about empathy being our natural state. I hope more of us allow ourselves to embrace this aspect of our humanity.
@@juliaz1965yeah. The truth is: many seem to be fawning rather than having true “empathy”. Fawning is not empathy. Fawning is a survival mechanism.
Maybe not "empath" but definitely people pleaser. This rings incredibly true.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. This made me reach right back to my childhood to assess how and why I feel the way I do. I have a lot of work to do, but am so happy I found your channel, thank you Aaron 😊
I want to listen to this over and over! Makes so much more sense to me now.
I'm an empath and now I feel empty. So currently instead of pleasing others I make myself happy. 😊
There's so much truth in your video... I've been in my company for 17 years but I have so many blocks 😔... 100% Truth in everything you're saying... Being the first born I've experienced all of this... I have tears in my eyes... 😔
I hope your find a true friend their is some good people out there but I see people being two faced so I'm very careful who I have in my life.
Thank you so much Dawn.. Sending you love and light 🙏.
I agree in all the things except that it necessarly has to do with childhood problems. I was loved like hell by my parents, had atention, they were present, everyfhing was and still remains perfect. It was always just a caracteristic of mine. Walkinv in the streets as a kid I could already feel my energy changing as people passed me by, and if I looked them in the eyes I could share their feeling. Always lived my time alone because of that. It can be overwhelming sometimes. I just foind this channel, and I’m starting to do the exercise to set my aenergy apart. Thanks for the beautiful content!
This is the story of my life, I am glad God is healing me everyday of this 🙌🏻
you say these things as if the empath cannot exist simultaneously within the narcissist. speaking from experience!
Interesting. I was listening to this wondering if it was possible for one person to have both traits. I think it is.
Said perfectly. It's also made it incredibly difficult to feel confident in my decisions in life. Just recently realized it's why I always felt I needed to ask if something was a good idea or not instead of believing my ideas are brilliant without input.
Being an empath, I feel as if I’m always reminiscing or living in the past. I feel like my my brain holds those memories so close. It’s definitely a dare place for my mind to escape to. Has anyone else experienced this?
Always reliving the past, especially the negatives possibly because there were so many. I feel so many regrets over the times when I feel like I failed to do enough for my pets or my kids, because I was so stressed and damaged and also financially unable.
I wish I could really make my brain believes that thinking about things won’t change the past.
@@clairecarscallen exactly Claire, same. Sending you love and healing ❤️🩹
@@kmars3239 Thanks. Wishing you healing too.
It's a hell of a life, isn't it?
Me too. Especially lately. I have so much regret about not protecting my kids. I couldn’t see what was happening (WHY, brain?! WHY?!) so I failed to protect them from my husband’s/their father’s subtle abuse. I just am stuck and don’t know what to do. So, instead I reminisce about better times, and therefore I’m not doing anything to change our current situation. And also because I have several chronic illnesses so I’m limited in what I can actually do. Dealing with it all is freakin hard on so many levels. Gentle hugs to all of you.
@@rrmother3748 We do blame ourselves when we shouldn’t really; we were so worn down and stressed that we couldn’t have acted in any other way. This is especially true if you grew up under the thumb of a narcissist and then married a narcissist. Your adrenal glands were in overdrive your whole life, causing all kinds of malfunctioning in your body, emotions, and brain.
Even realizing this though, it doesn’t make the sadness over lost ‘might have beens’ any less.
We deserve to treat ourselves with tenderness and compassion, the way we do others.
This is one of the best videos I've seen. The information presented, I was already aware of, but I was sitting there with puzzle pieces that only made sense on their own, and not as a whole. Hearing all this made it come full circle, in a very powerful way.
Thank you so much for this 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️
Seriously you are so on the ball in your analysis on empaths.
Aaron, this is one of your most powerful videos yet. Thank you for your courage, honesty, and dedication to share with us and help us grow ❤
This was so good! Extremely helpful! I was really struggling this wk with my family dynamics… I’ve been divorced for 5 yrs, but still struggle with codependency within my family & I didn’t understand how much it still existed there! Thank you so much for this!!
Oh my goodness Aaron, you have opened my eyes to the victimisation I'm cradling myself in; enveloping it as an Empath. I've recently had the calling to realise what an empath really means and I couldn't work it out, you have cleared the fog for me. Thank you so much, I need to work on myself and I can see that it's controlling me. Always putting everyone's feelings first to avoid confrontation (kids, husband, work, friends, family). I always thought I had an amazing upbringing but upon true reflection, I see I was always compared to my older sister and trying to live up to my parent's expectations of her. I need to keep learning and find my true self! 🙏🙏
This is so true. I’m 54 and trying to find happiness and fulfillment but I keep fighting against myself I now seem to be understanding. I have been trying to learn life lessons and grow spiritually but something always holds me back, and I think it has to do with not having a childhood so I’m stuck in some patterns. I’ve tried to give up the people pleasing but now I get where it comes from. My mother battled mental illness so I had to grow up fast and often was her counsellor. My sister tried to get the attention she needed by acting out as the “brat,” so I often came between them and tried to resolve issues. At ages 8-10. She eventually committed suicide and died not long after I turned 11. I didn’t realize these experiences have affected me my whole life because I just tried to do my best every day and live. Our father basically left us to our own devices and didn’t give us much guidance or support. To be fair, he probably didn’t know how to handle the situation either. I’ve never had strong role models and have let myself be taken advantage of so many times. I’m trying to break the patterns but I’m still failing at this life thing it seems. I feel so lost now more than ever since I now know what I’m lacking at my core. I hope I find the answers I need. Everybody’s journey is different.
Im 58,still fighting!
Same. @@nigelmiller951
You will
may God bless you and hold you@@empress9857
Sounds eerily similar to me... one day at a time..sigh...
This is so excellent. Thank you so much for doing all your work so that you can give us this knowledge and wisdom.
I am 76 years old and fortunately I have done some of this, in sort of a hit or miss fashion. But I am going to listen to this tape over and over and over. Because there is much more to do
Thank you thank you thank you❤