Hyram.. YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW PERFECT THE TIMING WAS FOR THIS. For more than 5 years, Iʼve struggled with mental health/depression/suicidal thoughts & it is very hard, especially when youʼre a teenager. I am 15, yet I feel like Iʼm 50, always lying on my bed, being tired of being sick & tired everyday & endless scrolling on social media. Itʼs still a tough battle everyday, but I do feel happier now & I am less depressed than I was before, it still feels there tho.
I feel you, and I want you to know that you are valuable and loved, and you were put into this world for a reason. I know it gets really hard but it will get better, meanwhile, spread love and kindness 💗, that’s truly the answer and key to internal peace
Reading this gave me flashbacks of when I was 15 and I was exactly where you are rn. I feel for you so much. If I could give my younger self at least 1 advice is to not be so hard on myself and instead be more kind to myself. Thinking “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not beautiful”, “I’m not smart enough”, etc etc. This type of thinking leads you nowhere but backwards. It’s super hard to stop thinking this way, but if you try to start now, it will help.
And also if you haven’t tried it and are able to, try therapy. There are different types and I tried CBT program. This changed my life, so I highly recommend doing at least something when you’re ready and able to
I. LOVE. THIS! I'm also in a really low place. This year, for me, makes 2021 and 2020 look like a dream. From being raped to being disowned by my parents to having a partner who is never around due to work, I feel so alone. I have never loved myself; I also self-harmed and went through anorexia. I love doing this with you. It's like having an accountability partner! Thanks for having these mental health videos. They're my favorite, even though I love skincare.
I am so sorry that you had to go through any of that. I know that I am just a random person on the internet but I believe you can and will come back as a stronger and better person don't let them best you. This may be redundant but one thing that I try to do when I go to those dark places is to first let myself cry that it is ok and it's a release of emotion. After calming down look for one thing in my day that makes me smile. Kids playing, getting the laundry mountain taken care of, watching a comedy video. Anything works. Last I tell myself that everyone is worth something even if we can't see it ourselves. I wish you true love, a beautiful life and a pot full of luck.
I 100% agree with the dress for confidence when I'm feeling really bad about myself I always put on something that makes me feel hot even if its just a matching PJs set or sweat pants that make me look hot and I stand in the mirror telling myself I'm hot. One thing that has also helped me is I take pictures everytime I feel good and I keep it on my camera roll or even make an album for it so whenever I look back I remember. Idk who needed to hear that but I hope this helps someone ❤️
Love the goals you set up for yourself, I'm struggling with anxiety and depression and both are taking me to dark places sometimes, but I really stand up for what you said in the video - I'm tired of hating myself. Good luck.
Hi Hyram! I'm 30 now but when I was 26, I had the same realization as you too. These two books really helped me a lot: "The 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem" (and the writing exercises that are included) and "The Miracle Morning" (I developed a morning routine that I do almost everyday). Also, I spend time each day to write 3 things I'm grateful for & list 3 "wins" I had for the day. Both of these take little time to do and it has significantly shifted my mindset from negative to positive!
Something that has helped me in recovery (eating disorder) is to write in dry erase maker on my mirror a reminder a love myself and see myself as beautiful. My mirror has said “you are so beautiful” and “see the beauty that you are” for years now. I also write on all the other mirrors in my house now. My kids deal with varying things from religion trauma (formerly LDS) to sexuality and gender….I just want to help them in the ways I can. So I write on their mirrors too. Hope that helps!
I'm in my 40s and I still haven't learned this. I wonder if it's just the way some people are wired. I have tried. But I feel like when I try and change my mindset, I just feel like I'm lying to myself. I have done the same things you have in my life time with the self harm etc. I have never found my purpose. I followed my dreams a few years ago and trained to be a Veterinary nurse. But I have some chronic health issues and ended up needing 3 spinal surgeries and had to give up my job which broke my heart. And as a result, we are barely getting by. I am at the point that I may not be able to keep my horses who are my everything. I feel like a useless burden. I tried to work on my makeup skills and started an IG so I could try and build some confidence with photos. But not tell anyone who knows me. Kind of anonymous. But that also takes money. I am not pretty or smart or talented. I have nothing. And I have accepted it and it's ok. You however are amazing, kind, warm, handsome, funny and super talented. You spread joy and warmth. You are beautiful inside and out. I know people could tell you that until they are blue in the face but it won't mean anything until YOU believe it. Sending such love from New Zealand xxxxx
Bad things happen in life to test us. My mother would say if you don't pass the test you have to resit and it will be harder next time. Nobody is a useless burden Kim, you're just in an in-between time. Pretty, smart and talented doesn't make you a good person. Hard work, diligence and kindness will beat them every time. As someone who is also facing some obstacles I'm sending you a great big hug all the way from Trinidad and Tobago. You'll come out of this experience a better person and more resilient than you were before.
You truly sound like a cool and interesting person. I’m a bit jealous, I went to school to be a Vet Tech. I got pregnant halfway through and never finished. It will always be one of my biggest regrets. Be proud of your accomplishments, regardless of the setbacks. ❤️
To anyone that might be reading this, I wish that whatever is hurting you or whatever you are constantly stressing about gets better. I sincerely wish everyone that happiness enters your hearts and let all the stress and sadness vanish out of your life...as you know nothing in life is ever easy, but what's important is that you keep going! you're worthy of love and happiness, never allow anyone to tell you otherwise! It can be extra hard sometimes but stay strong and hang in there, your life matters, no one can replace you, I'm thankful you're born and I'm sure your struggles will pass soon! Hang in there my friend 🙏 I wish all of you plenty of health and strength during these tough times. remember you are strong, you got this! never forget that! sending much love over towards all of you, May god or whatever you might believe in bless you the way you need it to! ♥️🌟
Positive Affirmation, Day 3: You are very aware of the influence you have on social media, and as a result, you are super responsible and make a conscious effort to maintain a transparent, caring, and uplifting tone so that your influence is always positive. Even when making a video that is more personal, your intent is always to benefit the viewer. That isn't always easy to do, especially when one is going through a hard time or when one is dealing with non-constructive comments from unkind people. It takes courage to be vulnerable on social media. You do that consistently and beautifully. For every positive comment you get thanking you for your candor and validation, there are hundreds of others who are silent yet feel the same. Think of what a difference you're making just by being you! You are a courageous and authentic human being. What a gift to the world!
Fashion changes everything when it comes to loving your body. Every time I wear jeans, I feel bloated and uncomfortable but in reality it’s just the material of the jeans. I started opting them out for skirts and dresses and my confidence has sky rocketed. Only wear what you’re comfortable in. Also, if you struggle with fashion like I do, buying sets is a game changer. Then you don’t have to overthink the outfit. Hope this helps a little ☺️
Love you Hyram you are so inspiring and so is your journey, you’ve faced a lot in your life and you still have some struggles which Is totally fine just don’t be cruel and harsh on your self remember you are so loved by us your fans and we are here for you and we see your inner beauty beyond anything ❤️
I can't express in words how happy I felt when I realised I love myself, last year I hated myself and my body image but now......now I just LOVE MYSELF. And this whole feeling of loving myself makes me love myself more and feel happy. I hope you reach a point where u love urself so much that u can ignore PPL who put hateful messages. We all love u Hyram. Hope u love urself too. :)
Thank you for sharing this my mental health isnt so great and watching you talk about these things make me feel better and it makes me feel like someone understands
I struggle with Depression, Self harm, suicidal thoughts, EDs ans all that stuff, so hearing others talk about mental health makes me feel less alone. I feel like givibg up pretty much everyday, but I somehow have to keep going. Stay strong everyone, I believe in you all
Positive Affirmation, Day 5: Has anyone ever told you you're a really funny guy? It's pretty hard to make me laugh, but I seriously laugh out loud sometimes when I watch your videos. Your quirky sense of humor is awesome. My most recent funny memory was when I watched your traveling with skincare video, especially the scene with the suitcase. Just know that you make millions of people laugh, brightening up their day!
A friend of mine is an addiction counselor who worked at an eating disorder clinic for a while. Part of their group therapy was looking in a mirror and saying ONE THING that you love about yourself. At the beginning some people would just start crying. They couldnt think of one thing. Heartbreaking! By the end of their inpatient stay, it came easier. Fake it until you believe it! It works. You will feel the beauty and worth that everyone else can so easily see. Thanks for doing this! We all need motivation to work on true happiness.
My dearest Hyram..... being twice you age and being part of the community.... all I can say... it will get better, with time. I wish we had , when I was younger, some one like you when I was growing up....at the time we had no one to look up to. Attractiveness is something that doesn't last forever ( cliché). There is always bigger, better... flawless...you name it. I don't know, still, if there is a a secret to be happy in life. In my experience, if you are satisfied and love yourself ( this includes skincare 😃) many good things will follow. Please 🙏, just be yourself!!!
As weird as it sounds, arts and crafts helped my mental a lot. Being able to look at a beautiful project and say “I did that” is so satisfying mentally. It also kept my hands and mind busy while being away from my phone/technology
tips for self confidence take care of yourself physically (so eat well,exercise, drink water) and another thing that gives me confidence is having good posture (you just feel so much more confident) Anyways good luck guys! edit: Also to implement goals that you have you need to practice one goal at a time until it becomes a habit or you have become comfortable with doing it. Don't start all your goals at the same time add the slowly into your routine.
Oh my God!!! When you talked about selfishness in the way you described it, it made so much sense! I am overthinking about myself, I am criticizing myself, I am hurting myself. I want to focus on others. How can I when I struggle with this so much? I am better than I used to be. BetterHelp helped me too. It is so hard to change your way of thinking when you are hardwired to think a certain way about yourself. I thank you so much for telling your story. In the words of Viola Davis (L’Oréal): “YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!” I might take your advice. Just know there is always someone who cares about you and loves you and thinks you are beautiful and amazing.
Positive Affirmation, Day 2: I am always struck by how self-aware and socially aware you are, especially being so young. When I was your age, I did not have nearly the awareness and wisdom and that you have. In fact, I know many middle age and senior folks who don't have the level of awareness that you have. You are also incredibly kind. Seriously, if you were my son (I am old enough to be your mom), I'd be SO EXTREMELY PROUD of you! You're everything a mom would want in a son: you're smart, kind, hardworking, independent, and thoughtful. And you're making the world a better place. Those are exactly the qualities I am hoping to teach my son, so he can grow up to be like you. Have a good day!
Stay healthy and happy 😊 Keep us posted on your accomplishments as you go on to achieve these goals. Agreed w/a lot of the things you said: Sleep so important, exercise - mainly being active & having fun, doing things that provide you with a challenge, like surfing or doing a dance class I think is definitely the way to go bc the gym can become a chore (if you do hit the treadmill or do weights go with a friend and/or make a killer playlist to keep you motivated), disconnecting from social media/phone whenever possible (it was the first thing I thought of but I know that’s a challenge for you due to your work), connecting w/nature, being kind to yourself (forgive yourself and let yourself just veg out every so often or not be there for everyone all the time…it’s ok)…these are all perfect goals. I would add meditating (I need to do that, too 🧘♀️) and finally I have found podcasts like The Happiness Lab and apps like Calm such great tools and inspiration (Calm’s Masterclasses are really helpful in teaching you about why we struggle we anxiety and depression in modern society and how we can mitigate these things and why exercise, sleep, and a good diet really do work). We are all with you on this journey. Lots of 💕 and light.
putting effort into yourself, like having a nice skincare routine, dressing the way you really wanna dress, making yourself nourishing and pretty meals, cool makeup if you want, etc, will raise your confidence more than you'd expect. doing all these things and putting all of this effort into yourself will make you recognize yourself as something that is important enough to require this special treatment. it does wonders when you want to yourself more, because we put time and effort into things we value
A way of changing the way you think is identifying the beliefs about yourself. Exactly what you said… change what you say to yourself. Cognitive distortions can be so damaging. So recognizing this is HUGE ♥️ sending self love and positive thoughts! And be kind and forgiving towards yourself:)
I’ve been through a lot really and have recently got to the conclusion that the key isn’t necessarily loving every imperfection one may have, but accepting that imperfections are part of being human, of being real. One’s body is one’s armour. every scar, every blemish, every little imperfection is actually a medal and a memorial of something one has been through. It takes time, but I think that even just letting this sort of mentality in for just a few minutes a day makes a huge difference. Proud of you Hyram❤️
What helped me with my confidence is realizing that attractiveness, productivity & success are all an illusion. You determine your value based on those 3 things because you‘re basically manipulated. Cause if you think about it: we‘re humans floating on a rock in the middle of space…. what truly matters is mental and physical well-being (and help others achieve the same thing). You can’t achieve those things with “optimizing“ your appearance or becoming successful. life is to be cherished. But i know that it‘s easier said than done. Cause even tho i know those things I still have had phases where i suffered a lot with body dysmorphia.
I love this so much!!! I was in therapy for about a year before I feel like I actually started making progress. Then one day I realized I would never want to be friends with myself based on how I treated myself. I got so annoyed with how rude I was to myself that I really started putting effort into doing that shadow work. You got this!!!
I am so proud of you for admitting this. and self-affirmations do help because you start to change the way you think. literally a quote from my psychology textbook
Something that helped me a lot on the way to selflove was to write down every day one thing i´m gratefull for about myself. in the beginning it was hard to find something without it being a lie. and i started it mostly kinda sarcastic like ..yeah at least i still have all my teeth... but after a while of activly looking out during the day for something that i could write down for that day, i stared to really see myself in a better light. because of now noticing these little things that i actually like or even are somewhat proud of i can value myself better. and THAT did really improve in the long game my overall life quality ^^
Well done for speaking up for yourself Hyram. I wish you the best of luck with your journey and I hope you find what you're looking for. I also find eating well for MH is good too as the gut is like a second brain, especially in the morning. Sending much 💜
Positive Affirmation, Day 7 (last one): "You are perfect in your present moment." That is a saying in Kundalini yoga. It means that you are enough now and to embrace who you are now, even when you know there is room for improvement. Progress is two steps forward, then one step back. So there will be times when you fall off the wagon and start overworking or having negative self-talk. When that happens, don't beat yourself up about it! The only things worse than self-hatred is having self-hatred about having self-hatred! Even these moments are opportunities for self-love via self-forgiveness. When you are kind to yourself, let mistakes go, and move on, you've just taken three steps forward after taking one step back. How would you treat a child or your best friend when they make a mistake? That's how you should treat yourself. Wishing you all the best on this wonderful, life-long journey, Hyram!
I came here looking for skincare videos and got something so much better . We’re the same age , and as of recently I’m also learning how to love myself . From years of criticizing myself and being under pressure to always maintain a certain image and body type . It took a death and severe betrayal all in the same month for me to start to walk down the path of learning how to love myself . I also struggle with anorexia , and it’s been incredibly hard not to relapse through this time . So I’m with you on that . This honestly felt so therapeutic and I can relate so much to this . I’m glad I came across your video and channel !
I’m 39 and I work EVERY day on bettering myself through theraphy. It’s though and some day are better than others but just the fact that u are moving forward says a great deal about u. So kudos to u Hyram❤️
My heart hurts for you. My oldest has such similar struggles. We've been told to journal, remind yourself 3 things you're thankful for every morning but I think one thing that really helped was grounding and writing down what's bothering us and what we can do about it BUT with the non dominant hand so that you actually thinking about it deeper and commit it to memory better. I wish Hyram and anyone else struggling all the best on their journey. Side note, it's been 7 years and 7 days since I'd last left the hospital after an attempt on my own life. I know all these things are easier said than done.
so so proud of you for doing this and so excited to see your journey ! :) one thing i've done almost my whole life tbh is to give myself pep talks and just take time in the morning and night to talk to myself, encourage myself, be vulnerable to myself, and give myself affirmations. at the end of the day, you only live once and you only have the soul and body you have now once. so i hope this helps you or honestly anyone reading this 🤍 love you Hyram !!
Love this and can so relate. Tired of being so anxious and socially aware/insecure to the point I’m only focused on myself, not others. Thanks for being so honest x
Hi, Hyram. I appreciate you being honest with your community about your thoughts. I’ve been a subscriber on your channel for almost 2 years. I’m a few years older than you, so I will say this as if I’m talking to my younger brother: First, I don’t think most of us “love” ourselves. We are our worst critics, never happy with our looks, our lives, etc. The first thing you need to do is pat yourself on the back for all you have accomplished. You must not realize the impact you’ve had on others (myself included). You have done things that some people wish they can do. Please always remember that. As long as you are true to yourself and others, you don’t have much to worry about. Give yourself the credit you deserve, keep working hard, but never neglect your well being. You will be okay. Your community HAS YOUR BACK!!!!!
My advice would be to start giving yourself realistic goals. Saying your going to work out everyday for 2 weeks is a lot! Start smaller by saying my goal next week is to work out twice. Even if you only do it once, don’t best yourself up, just think well that’s once more than I did last week. Go for 2 the following week. Remember exercise can be anything. Sometimes if I’m really stressed, I put on music and dance around. Sometimes this turns into a 1 or 2 hour thing. Comparing ourselves to other people is highly toxic. I’m at a point in my life where I just don’t care anymore. I like the way I look, self acceptance was something I started working on a few years ago. I feel now I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life! Just keep telling yourself you are worth it and you are enough! 😻
It’s an incredibly awkward thing to do, and you probably won’t wanna share it with anyone, but writing a love letter to yourself is extremely helpful (yes, it’s super cheesy). But literally write about urself as if u r writing about a lover, it really helps u notice certain things u would otherwise appreciate in others, but don’t because it’s urself. I have struggled with anorexia and BDD myself, and tho this doesn’t solve those issues, it helps shift perspectives when it comes to loving urself.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us! I too am 26 and have also recently started trying to change my negative self image because its absolutely exaughsting telling yourself "you suck" all the time, and im quite done with it. So I completely understand where your coming from and im rooting for you! ❤
Thank you for sharing and bringing this forward Hyram. I really hope you find the selflove you're looking for! A reminder on goals: they are a nice way to get things moving, but please be mindful that you're just as deserving of that love if you accomplished all or none of them. Wishing lots of love to you all!
Couldn’t relate more. On every level. I watched this at the exact time I needed it. I’ve struggled with self worth/confidence and body image for so long and I just needed this. Thank you ❤️
I suffer from depression and anxiety. I just wanted to say, thank you for sharing. I love watching your videos. It cheers me up, so thank you! You are a true inspiration to so many. Please love yourself, because we love you! Much love, from Austin, Texas
I’m dealing with this as well. Always feeling like I have to be productive. I’ve started not working on the weekends and it’s been great. Much love to you, Hyram. ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your insight and feelings towards yourself, and for sharing this journey you're embarking on. I'm going to make the commitment to do the very same, at 32 and being a parent, my worst nightmare is passing on my habits of self-hatred and self-criticism to my daughter. I'm going to keep myself accountable as well, and make changes in my day to day to help with these goals. If I can recommend anything (for those who have an iPhone) take advantage of the app time limits built into your settings. I've cut my screen time/social media usage down considerably since setting limits and sticking to them. Good Luck Hyram, and to everyone else learning to love themselves. We are ALL worth it ❤️
Thank you Hyram ❤️ You literally don’t understand how great timing, you posting this is. I’m currently two weeks or so into a depression. My mental health is on the edge of breaking down, and I struggle a lot with body- and facial dysmorphia. Though your video gave me just a bit more hope, and made me realise I’m not the only one struggling with these things. Thank u so much, love u ❤️
Thank you for your honesty and openness with these issues. It's so courageous and generous to share. We love you and hope you can receive that wholeheartedly. You are inspiring so many healthier attitudes for everyone who listens.
i used to be a couch potato my whole life up until 2020... watched movies and ate junk all day on the bed lying and not moving a single muscle hated myself.. what helped me the most getting out of this condition was exercising and eating healthy... now i'm like a total different person working hard for my goals.. my parents are kinda proud of me too i think.. also i did stop exercising for 6 months as i was preparing for an exam but honestly that was just an excuse.. i just didn't prioritize my health, sleep, eating habits ... i almost went back to my old version but then started exercising and taking care of myself again. and started feeling confident again.. i underestimated mental health benefits of exercising sooo damn much
aww hyram❤️ having struggled with anxiety and depression from a young age, i appreciate videos like this so so much. im so excited to see you become happy and confident because thats what you and everyone else deserves :) youre so strong and brave for being open about these things and it helps so much more than you think❤️ i have supported you for a few years now and seeing videos like this is how i know i support the right person
Hyram ❤️ thank you for this video. I have been exactly where you are and have gone on the same self love journey. I can tell you with all the confidence in the world that the journey is so worth it! Of course, healing is not linear. This is the work of a lifetime, but it gets better! It sounds like you’re doing all the right things, and I am cheering you on every step of the way! I love you so much, and I know it’ll be okay!! Thank you for being so open! Remember, one day at a time!! ❤️
So happy you are making these changes and workin thru in therapy. This generation has been taught to value productivity too much and we’re always the hardest on ourselves. Sharing the journey always works for accountability but also helps share when we stumble and its ok. Its never linear too. Recently i started using the peloton in my apt building and its been so much fun. I dont like working out & this is someone else just tellin u to do a few things while having a real fun playlist. Its helped me a lot. We all still have bad days but workin on urself feels amazing!!! Cant wait to see ur journey💜
the timing of this omg!! this popped up on my feed after having a very long thinking session of how i want to become and feel like the best version of myself. i’ve struggled greatly with my mental health, especially after i turned 16. now as an newly 18 year old who is just starting college, i only began my self love journey just around a few months ago. i still have a LOOOOOONG way too go, especially cause i tend to fall back into my old, self destructive habits cause that’s all i know. but watching this really has given me the motivation to try and keep up with it despite having all the bad moments/days. i’m now beginning my social media detox and will attempting to be dedicating all my time for myself, my schooling, the positive hobbies that i love doing, and even trying new things that i would have never done in high school cause i was too self conscious to try out. it wasn’t until only recently when i began dressing the way i’ve always wanted to simply because i was so horrified of what others thought of me so that’s one step forward so far in my book lol!! anywho!! cheers to u, me, and the other people embarking on our self love journey!! wishing nothing but so much healing, love, happiness and abundance to u all
I really needed this… I never thought of the constant internal thoughts as being selfish. I am really inspired by this to learn to love myself in a way I haven’t before.
this is so inspirational 🥺 remember there will be hard day's and that's okay. im still working on myself after about a year and a half. good luck on your journey. we're rooting for you!
Im 10 years older than you and I am still on my journey. It’s like any other goal in life… training is key… daily affirmations, meditating and talking nice to yourself… The Problem is: you know WHAT to do, but you gotta do it and like any other training it can be hella exhausting. Especially the meditation. Man, my head gets SO FREAKING LOUD whenever I try to shut it up. 🙈
For me - the very nasty little comments my mother said was what crumpled my self-esteem. I got my self-esteem back but it required severing all contact with my mother. Edit: You might think negatively about your looks(?) or something similar but let me tell you - it is 100% an illusion. You look great but what is more important - not anyone think they look great. You just have to believe. You do look great - go on with life.❤️🇫🇮
Sweetheart.. as someone who teaches coping skills for a living (behavioral health clinician) when you feel this low/deep you need a BREAK. I know we all love your content and trust your advice on skincare but your mental health always needs to be #1. I love the fact that you are so open with us about your struggles 💜
If I was physically nearby, I would give you a hug and high five for the journey you are embarking on. I will be thinking of you and rooting for you everyday every step of the way! For a really long time, I've been worried about your work-life balance and lack of sleep, so I am very happy to hear that you are making a commitment to work on those areas. When we are in deep sleep, our nervous system sends cerebral spinal fluid to our cranium, where it washes the brain of toxins that build up during the day. That's really important for brain health and preventing Alzheimer's. Also, we process memories and emotions during REM sleep. We consolidate negative memories in the earlier part of our sleep and positive memories during the latter part of sleep. So not getting enough sleep means that we remember all the negative stuff and forget the positive stuff. Often times, I've gone to bed feeling upset, only to wake up and feel better after a good night's sleep, even though the negative thing I was upset about didn't change. So I believe that sleeping more will do wonders for your mental health! Our lives are pretty different, so on the surface, any story I tell about myself may not seem relevant, but I think there may be some parallels too. In my teens and twenties, I was a workaholic who never got enough sleep. Like you, I based my self-worth on my productivity, success, and appearance. I also struggled with anorexia in my teens. The turning point in my life came when I had my son. Because he was on the autism spectrum and had severe behavior problems, I dropped out of the work force in order to care for him. For several years, I struggled with my identity and self-worth because I lost my work identity. I was chronically ill for a few years due to the stress of raising my son. That experience taught me to value my health. I also realized that work and success, though good, did not make me happy. What really made me happy was the quality of my relationships, which in turn gave me a sense of purpose in life as I served my family and community. I also learned to make time to enjoy life (though that is still a struggle for me, being a mom). I am now 50 and my son is 13. On the surface, my life looks pretty unexceptional. Inside, though, I feel a deep sense of purpose and contentment, and I wouldn't change a thing. That's how the biggest challenge in my life turned out to be my greatest blessing. You're not alone in your journey. Many are on that same road at various points on the path. Happy travels!
I just want to hug you in person but since I can't I want to applaud and cheer you on in your active journey towards positive mental, emotional, and physical well-being! Experiences like yours are exactly why or home is a safe space for all...but I hope to one day foster teens in the LGBTQIA+ community.
Hyram, you are seriously the most beautiful gorgeous person, both inside and out!! I hope you can get to the place where YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF the same way we see you. 🙏🏼 ❤️❤️❤️🇦🇺
Thanks for trying to be nicer to our friend! We love you and support you . You are taking a step that so many of us need and it's hard but you're doing something so great!
Oh man! I feel like you and I are on the same boat... I have been working on my self confidence for years and I improve then I get bad again. I am with you in this jurney! Lets go!
As someone who has struggled with the same things I really admire your vulnerability. It’s hard to hear when we see you as such wonderful person. But it’s your opinion that matters most and I look forward to being on this journey with you.
I am soooooooooo so happy to hear this. You're such a wonderful human and you deserve to feel that. I think everyone feels like this sometimes (or all the time), but it's so awesome that you're challenging your negative thoughts and taking steps to love yourself. You GOT this!!!
I’ve dealt with this my entire life and I am 42 at rock bottom. I have a lot of thoughts and advice to aid you in your steps but I think you will figure it out as you go. I love you so much. I know you won’t read this but you are an incredible person with an amazing soul. You have come so so far. Please realize that. I couldn’t do what you have done. You are still so young but so aware. Loving yourself can take a lifetime so don’t think of it as a goal that must be met but rather something that is a constant work in progress. Sleeping, managing the amount of time you work (overworking is a coping mechanism to escape the negative feelings as I am sure you know), exercising, and having you time off the phone will be huge. Life changing. Remember you write the script to your life. Your old one was “incorrect” so it’s time to write a new one. In terms of behavior patterns it helps to think of your brain as a computer and you were basically fed bad data or running the wrong software. It’s time to adjust by new software (the behavior) and the goals you have are a sure fire way to get there. I know you are a grateful person but take someone like me who is suicidal and can’t even afford treatment. I can’t afford clothing. You have resources and so much support! I don’t even have a friend. I’ve battled mental health issues my whole life. I am currently at my rock bottom wanting to die. I would have done it by now but I can’t do it to my mom. Your story tore me up when you first posted it. I come from an LDS upbringing but not in Utah or nearly as strict as what you went through. I still can’t believe what your parents did. My heart breaks. I am so happy you blew up. You are a real person who has morals and standards and you deserve all of this! I am also fighting many physical illnesses as well and can’t afford to treat that or my mental health. I haven’t been able to work in years I have no one. I can’t even afford to live on my own and sold everything I own including my car. So I sit in a tiny dark basement room praying for help. I hope you know how much you matter and maybe you will even read this! Sending love ❤️
Cannot express how perfect the timing of this video is ! Breaks my heart that ure also struggling with something very similar to what I’m going through rn , struggles with self image are so painful and challenging to over come . But I’m so proud of u for even making this video which seems healing in itself . We love u so much ure so capable of succeeding on this journey 🙏🏽💖💖sending love to everyone
Wow super excited for this series! I will be here to watch every episode💗💗💗this has come at such a good moment for me personally to follow along with you but also I feel like everyone wants/would benefit from committing to loving themselves and being kinder and more compassionate to themselves more so super excited for this journey!
I'm tired o hating myself . This hit me on another level. I've been always struggling with something I myself aim against me. This is so suffocating and unfortunately is a Hella journey to change this. But I believe WE CAN. you can I CAN. Happy and love thoughts to all of use struggling
Hyrum, you are a human BEING not a human DOING (like everyone else on the planet). One thing that helped me realize this, and my self worth, and so much more was reading Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch (not religious at all). I love you!
Good for you for starting this journey so young. You have your whole life a head of you to explore, try new things, travel and find good people to love and who will love you back. Have courage, you are on the right path.🤗🌻 And sweetie, you are fine as hell!! Seriously take thousands of nake pictures of you now! Trust me when your 60 you'll be glad you did.
I loved this video. Such honesty! It’s a couple months old now but I’m 34 and have some things to report back 😂 sleep is SO important. I am way more prone to cry (happy song, sappy commercial, a dog looked at me weird) with less than 6hrs. Any alcohol results in subpar sleep for 2-3 days. And yes GO TO THE GYM!! Do cardio! I started w a 12 minute “mile” on the road, a little bit of intense cardio is amazing for you. At 30 we start losing muscle and bone mass and the more strength training (3x a weekish) the better and more gracefully we will age. Dr Rhonda Patrick has an amazing channel with all the nerd stats that make you want to eat well and work out highly recommend. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ps your skincare line is amaze.
I’m still swimming in a sea of self destruction and trying to heal, thank you for speaking out, mental health is the way to a better future and evolved humans❤️🙏🏻
If you can't tell yourself you look good with any sincerity. Start with baby steps; pick one thing and acknowledge it looks good. It may be your hair, your eyes, your lips or any body part really. Look in the mirror and say it to yourself out loud. I learnt to be my own best cheerleader because out here there's always someone waiting to pull you down.
Hyram you are such a beautiful and wonderful human being I hope you can get to a place of self love and see yourself the way so many other people do🧡💛it’s a journey and they’ll always be ups and downs but you are so amazing and deserve love and a happy life💛💛💛
Okay dokey Hyram. Frist I want to talk you for letting us know your goals I love how you are presenting yourself as a strong individual. Now you wanted tips I got you fam! From my life I am a a chef working all the time cooking for other people and worrying about their needs but not my own. A few things that I have been doing is eating well and I mean really well taking the time to make something with my own hands to enjoy. Like being vegetarian and cutting sugar for how I started. I also did a meditation time before bed it's 45 minutes- a hour before bed. I listen to piano music or water falls. Things like that as I read a book or just close my eyes and focus on my breathing. I focus on the sounds and block everything else out it helps me reflect and to help my body slow down after a long day at work to calm down and to focus on all the good things in life. The last thing I do is change. What I mean by that is take the time to change things in the house like bedroom set up and decor or even go outside and make a garden for you to get veggies or to re-decorate the house. It doesn't have to be big it can be small things to. That's what I do to focus on me and to take care of me with my busy schedule. Enjoy and let me know what you think I have a list of other things to share if you want them just let me know. Love you guys so much 😘💖.
Your an amazing person, who has helped so many people across the world 🗺. I have watched this video and I can relate to a lot of what you said. Say a few nice things about yourself throughout the day. I have to do this too and it works for me. Love and hugs from the uk 🇬🇧❤️
Hj hyram, what a lovely video, I'm cheering for you! One thing that makes me feel confident is listening to music. Maybe try to create a playlist you're gonna listen on your journey, full of positive and self-loving songs, that gove you energy and happiness. 🥰 lots of luck!
Thank you Hyram, been wanting to start the journey of improving my mental health and loving myself❤️ Just desire to not be depressed and live my best and blessed life to my full potential
recently I have really been struggling with hating myself and comparing myself to everyone I see and then this video comes out, I really needed this just as much as you! we love you hyram and thank you for being so open and honest with us about this! im going to try and do these steps as well and hopefully we can learn to love ourselves together ❤
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As someone who struggles with body dysmorphia and always thinking I’m bad at everything I do I can relate to this, so thank you for this Hyram❤️
Hyram..
YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW PERFECT THE TIMING WAS FOR THIS.
For more than 5 years, Iʼve struggled with mental health/depression/suicidal thoughts & it is very hard, especially when youʼre a teenager. I am 15, yet I feel like Iʼm 50, always lying on my bed, being tired of being sick & tired everyday & endless scrolling on social media. Itʼs still a tough battle everyday, but I do feel happier now & I am less depressed than I was before, it still feels there tho.
I feel you, and I want you to know that you are valuable and loved, and you were put into this world for a reason. I know it gets really hard but it will get better, meanwhile, spread love and kindness 💗, that’s truly the answer and key to internal peace
I’m very proud of you for your honesty Jeremy. You are valuable and needed in this world. Stay strong, you’ve got this ♥️
Reading this gave me flashbacks of when I was 15 and I was exactly where you are rn. I feel for you so much. If I could give my younger self at least 1 advice is to not be so hard on myself and instead be more kind to myself. Thinking “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not beautiful”, “I’m not smart enough”, etc etc. This type of thinking leads you nowhere but backwards. It’s super hard to stop thinking this way, but if you try to start now, it will help.
And also if you haven’t tried it and are able to, try therapy. There are different types and I tried CBT program. This changed my life, so I highly recommend doing at least something when you’re ready and able to
Completely understand everything you’re saying. Prayers for your journey and continuing to heal ❤️
I. LOVE. THIS! I'm also in a really low place. This year, for me, makes 2021 and 2020 look like a dream. From being raped to being disowned by my parents to having a partner who is never around due to work, I feel so alone. I have never loved myself; I also self-harmed and went through anorexia. I love doing this with you. It's like having an accountability partner! Thanks for having these mental health videos. They're my favorite, even though I love skincare.
I am so sorry that you had to go through any of that. I know that I am just a random person on the internet but I believe you can and will come back as a stronger and better person don't let them best you.
This may be redundant but one thing that I try to do when I go to those dark places is to first let myself cry that it is ok and it's a release of emotion. After calming down look for one thing in my day that makes me smile. Kids playing, getting the laundry mountain taken care of, watching a comedy video. Anything works. Last I tell myself that everyone is worth something even if we can't see it ourselves. I wish you true love, a beautiful life and a pot full of luck.
I 100% agree with the dress for confidence when I'm feeling really bad about myself I always put on something that makes me feel hot even if its just a matching PJs set or sweat pants that make me look hot and I stand in the mirror telling myself I'm hot.
One thing that has also helped me is I take pictures everytime I feel good and I keep it on my camera roll or even make an album for it so whenever I look back I remember.
Idk who needed to hear that but I hope this helps someone ❤️
This is great advice! Maybe just cute working from home clothes!
Needed this today. Struggling so much lately. Love and light.
You’re not alone 🫶🏼
Love the goals you set up for yourself, I'm struggling with anxiety and depression and both are taking me to dark places sometimes, but I really stand up for what you said in the video - I'm tired of hating myself. Good luck.
Hi Hyram! I'm 30 now but when I was 26, I had the same realization as you too. These two books really helped me a lot: "The 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem" (and the writing exercises that are included) and "The Miracle Morning" (I developed a morning routine that I do almost everyday). Also, I spend time each day to write 3 things I'm grateful for & list 3 "wins" I had for the day. Both of these take little time to do and it has significantly shifted my mindset from negative to positive!
Something that has helped me in recovery (eating disorder) is to write in dry erase maker on my mirror a reminder a love myself and see myself as beautiful. My mirror has said “you are so beautiful” and “see the beauty that you are” for years now. I also write on all the other mirrors in my house now. My kids deal with varying things from religion trauma (formerly LDS) to sexuality and gender….I just want to help them in the ways I can. So I write on their mirrors too. Hope that helps!
I'm in my 40s and I still haven't learned this. I wonder if it's just the way some people are wired. I have tried. But I feel like when I try and change my mindset, I just feel like I'm lying to myself. I have done the same things you have in my life time with the self harm etc. I have never found my purpose. I followed my dreams a few years ago and trained to be a Veterinary nurse. But I have some chronic health issues and ended up needing 3 spinal surgeries and had to give up my job which broke my heart. And as a result, we are barely getting by. I am at the point that I may not be able to keep my horses who are my everything. I feel like a useless burden. I tried to work on my makeup skills and started an IG so I could try and build some confidence with photos. But not tell anyone who knows me. Kind of anonymous. But that also takes money. I am not pretty or smart or talented. I have nothing. And I have accepted it and it's ok. You however are amazing, kind, warm, handsome, funny and super talented. You spread joy and warmth. You are beautiful inside and out. I know people could tell you that until they are blue in the face but it won't mean anything until YOU believe it. Sending such love from New Zealand xxxxx
Bad things happen in life to test us. My mother would say if you don't pass the test you have to resit and it will be harder next time. Nobody is a useless burden Kim, you're just in an in-between time. Pretty, smart and talented doesn't make you a good person. Hard work, diligence and kindness will beat them every time. As someone who is also facing some obstacles I'm sending you a great big hug all the way from Trinidad and Tobago. You'll come out of this experience a better person and more resilient than you were before.
You truly sound like a cool and interesting person. I’m a bit jealous, I went to school to be a Vet Tech. I got pregnant halfway through and never finished. It will always be one of my biggest regrets. Be proud of your accomplishments, regardless of the setbacks. ❤️
To anyone that might be reading this, I wish that whatever is hurting you or whatever you are constantly stressing about gets better. I sincerely wish everyone that happiness enters your hearts and let all the stress and sadness vanish out of your life...as you know nothing in life is ever easy, but what's important is that you keep going!
you're worthy of love and happiness, never allow anyone to tell you otherwise! It can be extra hard sometimes but stay strong and hang in there, your life matters, no one can replace you, I'm thankful you're born and I'm sure your struggles will pass soon! Hang in there my friend 🙏 I wish all of you plenty of health and strength during these tough times. remember you are strong, you got this! never forget that!
sending much love over towards all of you, May god or whatever you might believe in bless you the way you need it to!
♥️🌟
Positive Affirmation, Day 3: You are very aware of the influence you have on social media, and as a result, you are super responsible and make a conscious effort to maintain a transparent, caring, and uplifting tone so that your influence is always positive. Even when making a video that is more personal, your intent is always to benefit the viewer. That isn't always easy to do, especially when one is going through a hard time or when one is dealing with non-constructive comments from unkind people. It takes courage to be vulnerable on social media. You do that consistently and beautifully. For every positive comment you get thanking you for your candor and validation, there are hundreds of others who are silent yet feel the same. Think of what a difference you're making just by being you! You are a courageous and authentic human being. What a gift to the world!
Fashion changes everything when it comes to loving your body. Every time I wear jeans, I feel bloated and uncomfortable but in reality it’s just the material of the jeans. I started opting them out for skirts and dresses and my confidence has sky rocketed. Only wear what you’re comfortable in. Also, if you struggle with fashion like I do, buying sets is a game changer. Then you don’t have to overthink the outfit. Hope this helps a little ☺️
Love you Hyram you are so inspiring and so is your journey, you’ve faced a lot in your life and you still have some struggles which Is totally fine just don’t be cruel and harsh on your self remember you are so loved by us your fans and we are here for you and we see your inner beauty beyond anything ❤️
I can't express in words how happy I felt when I realised I love myself, last year I hated myself and my body image but now......now I just LOVE MYSELF. And this whole feeling of loving myself makes me love myself more and feel happy. I hope you reach a point where u love urself so much that u can ignore PPL who put hateful messages. We all love u Hyram. Hope u love urself too. :)
I can definitely relate to this. Thank you for talking about this 💕
I’ve recently been thinking about this things as well. So this is perfect time to share. Thank you Hyram.
Thank you for sharing this my mental health isnt so great and watching you talk about these things make me feel better and it makes me feel like someone understands
Thank you for the transparency; I think more of us feel this way than not and dialog and compradderie are integral! #teamlovemyself
I struggle with Depression, Self harm, suicidal thoughts, EDs ans all that stuff, so hearing others talk about mental health makes me feel less alone. I feel like givibg up pretty much everyday, but I somehow have to keep going. Stay strong everyone, I believe in you all
Positive Affirmation, Day 5: Has anyone ever told you you're a really funny guy? It's pretty hard to make me laugh, but I seriously laugh out loud sometimes when I watch your videos. Your quirky sense of humor is awesome. My most recent funny memory was when I watched your traveling with skincare video, especially the scene with the suitcase. Just know that you make millions of people laugh, brightening up their day!
A friend of mine is an addiction counselor who worked at an eating disorder clinic for a while. Part of their group therapy was looking in a mirror and saying ONE THING that you love about yourself. At the beginning some people would just start crying. They couldnt think of one thing. Heartbreaking! By the end of their inpatient stay, it came easier. Fake it until you believe it! It works. You will feel the beauty and worth that everyone else can so easily see.
Thanks for doing this! We all need motivation to work on true happiness.
My dearest Hyram..... being twice you age and being part of the community.... all I can say... it will get better, with time.
I wish we had , when I was younger, some one like you when I was growing up....at the time we had no one to look up to.
Attractiveness is something that doesn't last forever ( cliché).
There is always bigger, better... flawless...you name it.
I don't know, still, if there is a a secret to be happy in life.
In my experience, if you are satisfied and love yourself ( this includes skincare 😃) many good things will follow.
Please 🙏, just be yourself!!!
As weird as it sounds, arts and crafts helped my mental a lot. Being able to look at a beautiful project and say “I did that” is so satisfying mentally. It also kept my hands and mind busy while being away from my phone/technology
tips for self confidence take care of yourself physically (so eat well,exercise, drink water) and another thing that gives me confidence is having good posture (you just feel so much more confident)
Anyways good luck guys!
edit: Also to implement goals that you have you need to practice one goal at a time until it becomes a habit or you have become comfortable with doing it. Don't start all your goals at the same time add the slowly into your routine.
Thank you! ❤
Oh my God!!! When you talked about selfishness in the way you described it, it made so much sense! I am overthinking about myself, I am criticizing myself, I am hurting myself. I want to focus on others. How can I when I struggle with this so much? I am better than I used to be. BetterHelp helped me too. It is so hard to change your way of thinking when you are hardwired to think a certain way about yourself. I thank you so much for telling your story. In the words of Viola Davis (L’Oréal): “YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!” I might take your advice. Just know there is always someone who cares about you and loves you and thinks you are beautiful and amazing.
Positive Affirmation, Day 2: I am always struck by how self-aware and socially aware you are, especially being so young. When I was your age, I did not have nearly the awareness and wisdom and that you have. In fact, I know many middle age and senior folks who don't have the level of awareness that you have. You are also incredibly kind. Seriously, if you were my son (I am old enough to be your mom), I'd be SO EXTREMELY PROUD of you! You're everything a mom would want in a son: you're smart, kind, hardworking, independent, and thoughtful. And you're making the world a better place. Those are exactly the qualities I am hoping to teach my son, so he can grow up to be like you. Have a good day!
Stay healthy and happy 😊 Keep us posted on your accomplishments as you go on to achieve these goals. Agreed w/a lot of the things you said: Sleep so important, exercise - mainly being active & having fun, doing things that provide you with a challenge, like surfing or doing a dance class I think is definitely the way to go bc the gym can become a chore (if you do hit the treadmill or do weights go with a friend and/or make a killer playlist to keep you motivated), disconnecting from social media/phone whenever possible (it was the first thing I thought of but I know that’s a challenge for you due to your work), connecting w/nature, being kind to yourself (forgive yourself and let yourself just veg out every so often or not be there for everyone all the time…it’s ok)…these are all perfect goals. I would add meditating (I need to do that, too 🧘♀️) and finally I have found podcasts like The Happiness Lab and apps like Calm such great tools and inspiration (Calm’s Masterclasses are really helpful in teaching you about why we struggle we anxiety and depression in modern society and how we can mitigate these things and why exercise, sleep, and a good diet really do work). We are all with you on this journey. Lots of 💕 and light.
putting effort into yourself, like having a nice skincare routine, dressing the way you really wanna dress, making yourself nourishing and pretty meals, cool makeup if you want, etc, will raise your confidence more than you'd expect. doing all these things and putting all of this effort into yourself will make you recognize yourself as something that is important enough to require this special treatment. it does wonders when you want to yourself more, because we put time and effort into things we value
A way of changing the way you think is identifying the beliefs about yourself. Exactly what you said… change what you say to yourself. Cognitive distortions can be so damaging. So recognizing this is HUGE ♥️ sending self love and positive thoughts! And be kind and forgiving towards yourself:)
I REALLY needed this right now. Like REALLY. THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR US NO MATTER WHAT ❤️
I’ve been through a lot really and have recently got to the conclusion that the key isn’t necessarily loving every imperfection one may have, but accepting that imperfections are part of being human, of being real. One’s body is one’s armour. every scar, every blemish, every little imperfection is actually a medal and a memorial of something one has been through. It takes time, but I think that even just letting this sort of mentality in for just a few minutes a day makes a huge difference. Proud of you Hyram❤️
What helped me with my confidence is realizing that attractiveness, productivity & success are all an illusion. You determine your value based on those 3 things because you‘re basically manipulated. Cause if you think about it: we‘re humans floating on a rock in the middle of space…. what truly matters is mental and physical well-being (and help others achieve the same thing). You can’t achieve those things with “optimizing“ your appearance or becoming successful. life is to be cherished. But i know that it‘s easier said than done. Cause even tho i know those things I still have had phases where i suffered a lot with body dysmorphia.
I love this so much!!! I was in therapy for about a year before I feel like I actually started making progress. Then one day I realized I would never want to be friends with myself based on how I treated myself. I got so annoyed with how rude I was to myself that I really started putting effort into doing that shadow work. You got this!!!
I am so proud of you for admitting this. and self-affirmations do help because you start to change the way you think. literally a quote from my psychology textbook
Thank you, Hyram! I’m excited to watch your journey and try some of your strategies too ♥️.
Something that helped me a lot on the way to selflove was to write down every day one thing i´m gratefull for about myself. in the beginning it was hard to find something without it being a lie. and i started it mostly kinda sarcastic like ..yeah at least i still have all my teeth... but after a while of activly looking out during the day for something that i could write down for that day, i stared to really see myself in a better light. because of now noticing these little things that i actually like or even are somewhat proud of i can value myself better. and THAT did really improve in the long game my overall life quality ^^
Well done for speaking up for yourself Hyram. I wish you the best of luck with your journey and I hope you find what you're looking for. I also find eating well for MH is good too as the gut is like a second brain, especially in the morning. Sending much 💜
Positive Affirmation, Day 7 (last one): "You are perfect in your present moment." That is a saying in Kundalini yoga. It means that you are enough now and to embrace who you are now, even when you know there is room for improvement. Progress is two steps forward, then one step back. So there will be times when you fall off the wagon and start overworking or having negative self-talk. When that happens, don't beat yourself up about it! The only things worse than self-hatred is having self-hatred about having self-hatred! Even these moments are opportunities for self-love via self-forgiveness. When you are kind to yourself, let mistakes go, and move on, you've just taken three steps forward after taking one step back. How would you treat a child or your best friend when they make a mistake? That's how you should treat yourself. Wishing you all the best on this wonderful, life-long journey, Hyram!
I came here looking for skincare videos and got something so much better .
We’re the same age , and as of recently I’m also learning how to love myself .
From years of criticizing myself and being under pressure to always maintain a certain image and body type .
It took a death and severe betrayal all in the same month for me to start to walk down the path of learning how to love myself .
I also struggle with anorexia , and it’s been incredibly hard not to relapse through this time . So I’m with you on that .
This honestly felt so therapeutic and I can relate so much to this .
I’m glad I came across your video and channel !
I’m 39 and I work EVERY day on bettering myself through theraphy. It’s though and some day are better than others but just the fact that u are moving forward says a great deal about u. So kudos to u Hyram❤️
My heart hurts for you. My oldest has such similar struggles.
We've been told to journal, remind yourself 3 things you're thankful for every morning but I think one thing that really helped was grounding and writing down what's bothering us and what we can do about it BUT with the non dominant hand so that you actually thinking about it deeper and commit it to memory better.
I wish Hyram and anyone else struggling all the best on their journey.
Side note, it's been 7 years and 7 days since I'd last left the hospital after an attempt on my own life. I know all these things are easier said than done.
so so proud of you for doing this and so excited to see your journey ! :) one thing i've done almost my whole life tbh is to give myself pep talks and just take time in the morning and night to talk to myself, encourage myself, be vulnerable to myself, and give myself affirmations. at the end of the day, you only live once and you only have the soul and body you have now once. so i hope this helps you or honestly anyone reading this 🤍 love you Hyram !!
Love this and can so relate. Tired of being so anxious and socially aware/insecure to the point I’m only focused on myself, not others. Thanks for being so honest x
Hi, Hyram. I appreciate you being honest with your community about your thoughts. I’ve been a subscriber on your channel for almost 2 years. I’m a few years older than you, so I will say this as if I’m talking to my younger brother: First, I don’t think most of us “love” ourselves. We are our worst critics, never happy with our looks, our lives, etc. The first thing you need to do is pat yourself on the back for all you have accomplished. You must not realize the impact you’ve had on others (myself included). You have done things that some people wish they can do. Please always remember that. As long as you are true to yourself and others, you don’t have much to worry about. Give yourself the credit you deserve, keep working hard, but never neglect your well being. You will be okay. Your community HAS YOUR BACK!!!!!
My advice would be to start giving yourself realistic goals. Saying your going to work out everyday for 2 weeks is a lot! Start smaller by saying my goal next week is to work out twice. Even if you only do it once, don’t best yourself up, just think well that’s once more than I did last week. Go for 2 the following week. Remember exercise can be anything. Sometimes if I’m really stressed, I put on music and dance around. Sometimes this turns into a 1 or 2 hour thing. Comparing ourselves to other people is highly toxic. I’m at a point in my life where I just don’t care anymore. I like the way I look, self acceptance was something I started working on a few years ago. I feel now I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life! Just keep telling yourself you are worth it and you are enough! 😻
It’s an incredibly awkward thing to do, and you probably won’t wanna share it with anyone, but writing a love letter to yourself is extremely helpful (yes, it’s super cheesy). But literally write about urself as if u r writing about a lover, it really helps u notice certain things u would otherwise appreciate in others, but don’t because it’s urself. I have struggled with anorexia and BDD myself, and tho this doesn’t solve those issues, it helps shift perspectives when it comes to loving urself.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us! I too am 26 and have also recently started trying to change my negative self image because its absolutely exaughsting telling yourself "you suck" all the time, and im quite done with it. So I completely understand where your coming from and im rooting for you! ❤
Thank you for sharing and bringing this forward Hyram. I really hope you find the selflove you're looking for! A reminder on goals: they are a nice way to get things moving, but please be mindful that you're just as deserving of that love if you accomplished all or none of them. Wishing lots of love to you all!
Couldn’t relate more. On every level. I watched this at the exact time I needed it. I’ve struggled with self worth/confidence and body image for so long and I just needed this. Thank you ❤️
I suffer from depression and anxiety. I just wanted to say, thank you for sharing. I love watching your videos. It cheers me up, so thank you! You are a true inspiration to so many. Please love yourself, because we love you! Much love, from Austin, Texas
I’m dealing with this as well. Always feeling like I have to be productive. I’ve started not working on the weekends and it’s been great. Much love to you, Hyram. ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your insight and feelings towards yourself, and for sharing this journey you're embarking on. I'm going to make the commitment to do the very same, at 32 and being a parent, my worst nightmare is passing on my habits of self-hatred and self-criticism to my daughter. I'm going to keep myself accountable as well, and make changes in my day to day to help with these goals.
If I can recommend anything (for those who have an iPhone) take advantage of the app time limits built into your settings. I've cut my screen time/social media usage down considerably since setting limits and sticking to them.
Good Luck Hyram, and to everyone else learning to love themselves. We are ALL worth it ❤️
Thank you Hyram ❤️ You literally don’t understand how great timing, you posting this is.
I’m currently two weeks or so into a depression. My mental health is on the edge of breaking down, and I struggle a lot with body- and facial dysmorphia.
Though your video gave me just a bit more hope, and made me realise I’m not the only one struggling with these things. Thank u so much, love u ❤️
You are perfect! Do NOT hate yourself! Accept you as the AMAZING person you are!
Love ya Hyram soo mucho!😍😍❤️
Thank you for your honesty and openness with these issues. It's so courageous and generous to share. We love you and hope you can receive that wholeheartedly. You are inspiring so many healthier attitudes for everyone who listens.
i used to be a couch potato my whole life up until 2020... watched movies and ate junk all day on the bed lying and not moving a single muscle hated myself.. what helped me the most getting out of this condition was exercising and eating healthy... now i'm like a total different person working hard for my goals.. my parents are kinda proud of me too i think.. also i did stop exercising for 6 months as i was preparing for an exam but honestly that was just an excuse.. i just didn't prioritize my health, sleep, eating habits ... i almost went back to my old version but then started exercising and taking care of myself again. and started feeling confident again.. i underestimated mental health benefits of exercising sooo damn much
aww hyram❤️ having struggled with anxiety and depression from a young age, i appreciate videos like this so so much. im so excited to see you become happy and confident because thats what you and everyone else deserves :) youre so strong and brave for being open about these things and it helps so much more than you think❤️ i have supported you for a few years now and seeing videos like this is how i know i support the right person
Hyram ❤️ thank you for this video. I have been exactly where you are and have gone on the same self love journey. I can tell you with all the confidence in the world that the journey is so worth it! Of course, healing is not linear. This is the work of a lifetime, but it gets better! It sounds like you’re doing all the right things, and I am cheering you on every step of the way! I love you so much, and I know it’ll be okay!! Thank you for being so open! Remember, one day at a time!! ❤️
Hyram I didn't ask you to make me cry today
So happy you are making these changes and workin thru in therapy. This generation has been taught to value productivity too much and we’re always the hardest on ourselves. Sharing the journey always works for accountability but also helps share when we stumble and its ok. Its never linear too.
Recently i started using the peloton in my apt building and its been so much fun. I dont like working out & this is someone else just tellin u to do a few things while having a real fun playlist. Its helped me a lot. We all still have bad days but workin on urself feels amazing!!! Cant wait to see ur journey💜
the timing of this omg!! this popped up on my feed after having a very long thinking session of how i want to become and feel like the best version of myself. i’ve struggled greatly with my mental health, especially after i turned 16. now as an newly 18 year old who is just starting college, i only began my self love journey just around a few months ago. i still have a LOOOOOONG way too go, especially cause i tend to fall back into my old, self destructive habits cause that’s all i know. but watching this really has given me the motivation to try and keep up with it despite having all the bad moments/days. i’m now beginning my social media detox and will attempting to be dedicating all my time for myself, my schooling, the positive hobbies that i love doing, and even trying new things that i would have never done in high school cause i was too self conscious to try out. it wasn’t until only recently when i began dressing the way i’ve always wanted to simply because i was so horrified of what others thought of me so that’s one step forward so far in my book lol!! anywho!! cheers to u, me, and the other people embarking on our self love journey!! wishing nothing but so much healing, love, happiness and abundance to u all
I really needed this… I never thought of the constant internal thoughts as being selfish. I am really inspired by this to learn to love myself in a way I haven’t before.
this is so inspirational 🥺 remember there will be hard day's and that's okay. im still working on myself after about a year and a half. good luck on your journey. we're rooting for you!
Im 10 years older than you and I am still on my journey. It’s like any other goal in life… training is key… daily affirmations, meditating and talking nice to yourself… The Problem is: you know WHAT to do, but you gotta do it and like any other training it can be hella exhausting. Especially the meditation. Man, my head gets SO FREAKING LOUD whenever I try to shut it up. 🙈
For me - the very nasty little comments my mother said was what crumpled my self-esteem. I got my self-esteem back but it required severing all contact with my mother. Edit: You might think negatively about your looks(?) or something similar but let me tell you - it is 100% an illusion. You look great but what is more important - not anyone think they look great. You just have to believe. You do look great - go on with life.❤️🇫🇮
Sweetheart.. as someone who teaches coping skills for a living (behavioral health clinician) when you feel this low/deep you need a BREAK. I know we all love your content and trust your advice on skincare but your mental health always needs to be #1. I love the fact that you are so open with us about your struggles 💜
If I was physically nearby, I would give you a hug and high five for the journey you are embarking on. I will be thinking of you and rooting for you everyday every step of the way!
For a really long time, I've been worried about your work-life balance and lack of sleep, so I am very happy to hear that you are making a commitment to work on those areas. When we are in deep sleep, our nervous system sends cerebral spinal fluid to our cranium, where it washes the brain of toxins that build up during the day. That's really important for brain health and preventing Alzheimer's. Also, we process memories and emotions during REM sleep. We consolidate negative memories in the earlier part of our sleep and positive memories during the latter part of sleep. So not getting enough sleep means that we remember all the negative stuff and forget the positive stuff. Often times, I've gone to bed feeling upset, only to wake up and feel better after a good night's sleep, even though the negative thing I was upset about didn't change. So I believe that sleeping more will do wonders for your mental health!
Our lives are pretty different, so on the surface, any story I tell about myself may not seem relevant, but I think there may be some parallels too. In my teens and twenties, I was a workaholic who never got enough sleep. Like you, I based my self-worth on my productivity, success, and appearance. I also struggled with anorexia in my teens. The turning point in my life came when I had my son. Because he was on the autism spectrum and had severe behavior problems, I dropped out of the work force in order to care for him. For several years, I struggled with my identity and self-worth because I lost my work identity. I was chronically ill for a few years due to the stress of raising my son. That experience taught me to value my health. I also realized that work and success, though good, did not make me happy. What really made me happy was the quality of my relationships, which in turn gave me a sense of purpose in life as I served my family and community. I also learned to make time to enjoy life (though that is still a struggle for me, being a mom). I am now 50 and my son is 13. On the surface, my life looks pretty unexceptional. Inside, though, I feel a deep sense of purpose and contentment, and I wouldn't change a thing. That's how the biggest challenge in my life turned out to be my greatest blessing.
You're not alone in your journey. Many are on that same road at various points on the path. Happy travels!
❤️❤️❤️
I just want to hug you in person but since I can't I want to applaud and cheer you on in your active journey towards positive mental, emotional, and physical well-being!
Experiences like yours are exactly why or home is a safe space for all...but I hope to one day foster teens in the LGBTQIA+ community.
Hyram, you are seriously the most beautiful gorgeous person, both inside and out!! I hope you can get to the place where YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF the same way we see you. 🙏🏼 ❤️❤️❤️🇦🇺
Thanks for trying to be nicer to our friend! We love you and support you . You are taking a step that so many of us need and it's hard but you're doing something so great!
You truly do not realize how much I needed this. I am absolutely joining you in this journey.
Oh man! I feel like you and I are on the same boat... I have been working on my self confidence for years and I improve then I get bad again. I am with you in this jurney! Lets go!
As someone who has struggled with the same things I really admire your vulnerability. It’s hard to hear when we see you as such wonderful person. But it’s your opinion that matters most and I look forward to being on this journey with you.
I am soooooooooo so happy to hear this. You're such a wonderful human and you deserve to feel that. I think everyone feels like this sometimes (or all the time), but it's so awesome that you're challenging your negative thoughts and taking steps to love yourself. You GOT this!!!
What an incredible human being, we need more hyrams in this world.
I’ve dealt with this my entire life and I am 42 at rock bottom. I have a lot of thoughts and advice to aid you in your steps but I think you will figure it out as you go.
I love you so much. I know you won’t read this but you are an incredible person with an amazing soul. You have come so so far. Please realize that. I couldn’t do what you have done. You are still so young but so aware. Loving yourself can take a lifetime so don’t think of it as a goal that must be met but rather something that is a constant work in progress.
Sleeping, managing the amount of time you work (overworking is a coping mechanism to escape the negative feelings as I am sure you know), exercising, and having you time off the phone will be huge. Life changing. Remember you write the script to your life. Your old one was “incorrect” so it’s time to write a new one. In terms of behavior patterns it helps to think of your brain as a computer and you were basically fed bad data or running the wrong software. It’s time to adjust by new software (the behavior) and the goals you have are a sure fire way to get there.
I know you are a grateful person but take someone like me who is suicidal and can’t even afford treatment. I can’t afford clothing. You have resources and so much support! I don’t even have a friend.
I’ve battled mental health issues my whole life. I am currently at my rock bottom wanting to die. I would have done it by now but I can’t do it to my mom.
Your story tore me up when you first posted it. I come from an LDS upbringing but not in Utah or nearly as strict as what you went through. I still can’t believe what your parents did. My heart breaks.
I am so happy you blew up. You are a real person who has morals and standards and you deserve all of this!
I am also fighting many physical illnesses as well and can’t afford to treat that or my mental health. I haven’t been able to work in years I have no one. I can’t even afford to live on my own and sold everything I own including my car. So I sit in a tiny dark basement room praying for help.
I hope you know how much you matter and maybe you will even read this! Sending love ❤️
I am so sorry. Sending you tons of hugs. I cant do much as a stranger online, but i can send virtual hugs & love ur way.
@@michelle5873 it means more than you none. Thank you also sending it back your way!
Joining you in this journey and sending love to all those who see this and feel this. You are beautiful in every way! ❤️
As someone a lot older than you, @Hyram, very proud of you to take these steps. It’s hard, but so worth it
We love you so much Hyram!!! ❤️
Cannot express how perfect the timing of this video is ! Breaks my heart that ure also struggling with something very similar to what I’m going through rn , struggles with self image are so painful and challenging to over come . But I’m so proud of u for even making this video which seems healing in itself . We love u so much ure so capable of succeeding on this journey 🙏🏽💖💖sending love to everyone
I hope you feel better about yourself by taking these steps! I think I’m going to try these things too.
Wow super excited for this series! I will be here to watch every episode💗💗💗this has come at such a good moment for me personally to follow along with you but also I feel like everyone wants/would benefit from committing to loving themselves and being kinder and more compassionate to themselves more so super excited for this journey!
I'm tired o hating myself . This hit me on another level. I've been always struggling with something I myself aim against me. This is so suffocating and unfortunately is a Hella journey to change this. But I believe WE CAN. you can I CAN. Happy and love thoughts to all of use struggling
Hyrum, you are a human BEING not a human DOING (like everyone else on the planet). One thing that helped me realize this, and my self worth, and so much more was reading Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch (not religious at all). I love you!
Good for you for starting this journey so young. You have your whole life a head of you to explore, try new things, travel and find good people to love and who will love you back. Have courage, you are on the right path.🤗🌻 And sweetie, you are fine as hell!! Seriously take thousands of nake pictures of you now! Trust me when your 60 you'll be glad you did.
I loved this video. Such honesty! It’s a couple months old now but I’m 34 and have some things to report back 😂 sleep is SO important. I am way more prone to cry (happy song, sappy commercial, a dog looked at me weird) with less than 6hrs. Any alcohol results in subpar sleep for 2-3 days. And yes GO TO THE GYM!! Do cardio! I started w a 12 minute “mile” on the road, a little bit of intense cardio is amazing for you. At 30 we start losing muscle and bone mass and the more strength training (3x a weekish) the better and more gracefully we will age. Dr Rhonda Patrick has an amazing channel with all the nerd stats that make you want to eat well and work out highly recommend. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ps your skincare line is amaze.
I'm so proud of you Hyram! You are an amazing, smart and wise young man! I'm excited to see you, on the other side of this beautiful journey! 😍
I’m still swimming in a sea of self destruction and trying to heal, thank you for speaking out, mental health is the way to a better future and evolved humans❤️🙏🏻
so much love for you hyram ❤️ thank you for being so honest! it helps to not feel alone with this problem
Amen 🙏 I'm working on learning self love myself! You got it handsome 🤗😀
If you can't tell yourself you look good with any sincerity. Start with baby steps; pick one thing and acknowledge it looks good. It may be your hair, your eyes, your lips or any body part really. Look in the mirror and say it to yourself out loud. I learnt to be my own best cheerleader because out here there's always someone waiting to pull you down.
Hyram you are such a beautiful and wonderful human being I hope you can get to a place of self love and see yourself the way so many other people do🧡💛it’s a journey and they’ll always be ups and downs but you are so amazing and deserve love and a happy life💛💛💛
Okay dokey Hyram. Frist I want to talk you for letting us know your goals I love how you are presenting yourself as a strong individual. Now you wanted tips I got you fam! From my life I am a a chef working all the time cooking for other people and worrying about their needs but not my own. A few things that I have been doing is eating well and I mean really well taking the time to make something with my own hands to enjoy. Like being vegetarian and cutting sugar for how I started. I also did a meditation time before bed it's 45 minutes- a hour before bed. I listen to piano music or water falls. Things like that as I read a book or just close my eyes and focus on my breathing. I focus on the sounds and block everything else out it helps me reflect and to help my body slow down after a long day at work to calm down and to focus on all the good things in life. The last thing I do is change. What I mean by that is take the time to change things in the house like bedroom set up and decor or even go outside and make a garden for you to get veggies or to re-decorate the house. It doesn't have to be big it can be small things to.
That's what I do to focus on me and to take care of me with my busy schedule. Enjoy and let me know what you think I have a list of other things to share if you want them just let me know. Love you guys so much 😘💖.
Your an amazing person, who has helped so many people across the world 🗺. I have watched this video and I can relate to a lot of what you said. Say a few nice things about yourself throughout the day. I have to do this too and it works for me. Love and hugs from the uk 🇬🇧❤️
Hj hyram, what a lovely video, I'm cheering for you! One thing that makes me feel confident is listening to music. Maybe try to create a playlist you're gonna listen on your journey, full of positive and self-loving songs, that gove you energy and happiness. 🥰 lots of luck!
Thank you Hyram, been wanting to start the journey of improving my mental health and loving myself❤️
Just desire to not be depressed and live my best and blessed life to my full potential
Ily Hyram, I’m so happy you are learning to be happy with yourself!! ❤️❤️
recently I have really been struggling with hating myself and comparing myself to everyone I see and then this video comes out, I really needed this just as much as you! we love you hyram and thank you for being so open and honest with us about this! im going to try and do these steps as well and hopefully we can learn to love ourselves together ❤
You are precious Hyram. I pray for your good mental health. We all love you so much; but please love yourself more. You deserve every bit of it ❤️