Never Drink Cop Water!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ต.ค. 2024
- Never Drink Cop Water! Subscribe to @LawByMike for more tips!
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Best lawyer award⭐⭐⭐
(Btw im studying law i always learn from mike)
K
Hey lawbymike, cum dick pussy fuck shit. Idk. Can I go to jail for saying those words? Fuck piss cumshots cmon man help a citizen
Am I allowed to keep the bottle so they can’t use it for evidence?
Question though can you say ask for a soda let them get one for you and just not give them the can?
I think I would just swallow the gum to troll the police
Exactly my thought.
😂
Then a gum tree would grow on your belly
More gum for me then
well... its gonna stay there for 7 years...
Instructions unclear, *died of thirst and starvation*
1 comment is wild
True
Well at least he didn’t go to prison 💀💀💀
Well yes
Bro lifespan is -1 year
Police: gives water
Me: eats the cup
I'll just literally pour water in my mouth without touhing the cup
can I take the cup as memorabilia officer?
I would air sip
@@entertext783waterfall it! >:D
@@entertext783yeah but also fingerprints :/
"here, have this fork!"
eats the spaghetti by hand
"here, have some gum!"
swallows the gum
"you must be thirsty, have some water"
have a backup water bottle
"if you wanna use the bathroom, its right there!"
use your empty water bottle
Urine doesn’t hold DNA. Unless you’re implying the cops scrounge for stray public hairs…
Noice
Or just waterfall it
The water part you can just do a midair waterfall
😂😂😂
The legal system doesn't always seek the truth, it often just seeks a scapegoat.
Yup!
In the US
@@notoriousbig3knope…everywhere
@@jacobc8036especially eastern countries
rw pfp woah
Ask for a paper cup, eat it. Assert dominance.
I genuinely googled “how to eat paper without dying” after reading this
@@JustGamer075 It dissolves easily. I imagine you'll be fine, at worst some digestion issues, but hey - eating corn is technically posing the same risk.
THE MANLY WAYY 🗿
naw y'all know it plastic right? you can't eat it you dummies
@@Bahr-im7pn Paper cups all contain plastic.
"Maybe a piece of gum?"
"Oh hey thanks!"
*gulp*
**gulps the gum out of sheer spite**
"what about a plate of spaghetti? You look hungry."
"Damn, thanks for that"
*Crack*
@@Thatreallycooluser
“Oh yeah, I could go for some spaghetti!”
(Eats it all)
“Alrighty, now give us that fork and-“
(CHOMP)
mommy
@@ashisalrtaken what?
Police: 'hands me a stick of gum' "gimme the wrapper once ur done so I can throw it out"
Me: 'takes the wrapper off, eats the gum, and the swallows the wrapper'
"You'll never find the bodies officer Jeff....."
😂
Did you seriously admit to hiding bodies?
😂😂😂😂😂
@@itsgonnabeanaurfromme lol no he simply gave a pessimistic comment towards the success of this case ever being closed
Police: gives food
Me: uses hands
You mean rubber gloves
@@ashleykamigawanah HANDS
Sometimes savagery has it's benefits.
@@gamechanger8908 indian here we always use hands
@@abayoutuber3386 from SEA and a lot of us do to. Though it is a culture shock to see Indians eat even literal stews with their hands. Especially when stews like Curry has a strong scent that takes time to wear off.
Cop: *gives me water*
Me: *fountains it*
finger prints:🗿
Floor waiting for me to break the glass: 🗿
@@YourWorstNightmare-x7bif that’s the case couldn’t the just have you touch the table and get a sample there
@@BlueBlazeKingthat wouldn't qualify as an abandoned item like if he wasn't trying to use the abandoned item thing he would've just let him use the actual bathroom
Just take the cup
1. Eat the cup
2. Eat with your hands
3. Swallow the gum
4. Swallow the cig
5. Isn’t there lead in those?
DO NOT TRY #4&5 at home
I actually eat paper cup sometime
@@thachlamnguyen5917 same bro
im homeless
Just waterfall the water instead of
@@Neegamind then go to prison
This man always shows cops as villain😂😂
Because they are. Qualified immunity allows them to do anything they want. They're bullies.
Bc they are
Because they literally are, as bad as it is to say it, they just have to prove SOMETHING that can get you there at the time, even if you weren't actually there. Like say, a 70% DNA match (not even good enough to match you) that states "you could have been there" and a specific time you can't remember what you were doing.
because they are
@@h3athen_Are you from a certain minority group? You know, the loud and proud ones?
I love how there are so many corrupt loopholes
I've watched a bunch of police interviews with people who turned out to be innocent.
it really lays just how corrupt the police are out in front of you. I've watched police tell a guy they had eye witnesses and DNA evidence placing him at a crime scene, when the guy wasn't anywhere near the scene and looked nothing like the description they actually got.
Actually most cops offer people drinks and food to get on their good side and not to get DNA. Plus they are literally legally required to do so
I dont love that at all 😭
@@kazmark_gl8652 Most people who willingly serve the government are...especially these days. They dont like people who are educated and question things and think for themselves. But yea...those pawns will do anything to serve the interests of their masters.
@@turtle-kl7ur Noone intelligent does.
Me: waterfalls the drink, eats the spaghetti with my hands, and swallows the gum.
My first thought was that you're still leaving prints on the cup, but I mean... You probably already touched the table, or a door, etc., so I guess you're just SOL on that one.
@@DieuDeMortyou shouldn’t be touching doorhandles anyways if you’re under arrest, police are allowed to get prints off of public areas but there is already so much filth everywhere that it is likely not even worth it, getting a warrant to have you or something from your private residence matched with prints is just an objectively simpler option, you aren’t exactly the invincible mob boss who can only get caught if they match your partial print from the prison cell bars to some homicide in the 80s
@@DieuDeMort you've probably also given your prints many time when getting an ID or something.
@@ibraheemshuaib8954 That is different from a clear fingerprint though, and that cup only had you and the police person in charge.
Bro yours is the best yet 😭😂😂😂
Cop tryna clutch up but failed miserably 😂🤣
Heh
How do you get nameless like that?
@@jocklazer4 its a secret
@@jocklazer4·
@@jocklazer4its a period
One guy absolutely REFUSED to give a dna sample. He wrote a LONG letter explaining why he wouldn't, he was NEVER going to give his dna!
He licked the stamp.
I watched one of those "real crime" shows once, and the police were 100% sure that the murderer was a classmate of the murder victim, and they hounded him for like 6 months to get a DNA sample to test against blood found at the scene. But the guy had an alibi, no motive, and a good lawyer, and just kept telling them to pound sand. Eventually they got his DNA from a flipping _hangnail_ that had torn off and got caught on his car door, and a judge ruled that since it was outside the vehicle it was considered an "abandoned sample." Of course it turned out not to be a match, the suspect actually _didn't_ do it, and the detective on the case came out and blamed him for not giving up the DNA sample to clear it up earlier.
Wtf lmao
Lol . Did the detective cause him trouble after that, for "slowing him down"?
Yes, because giving DNA to someone that immature, manipulative, and dishonest would've surely worked out fine.
@@Omnihilo Yeah, and the suspect was also a black teenager in a Southern US town, and the victim was a pretty white girl, so he had some pretty good reasons for not wanting to deal with the police at all... Anyway, turns out it was just some random drifter who had never met the girl before that killed her. Completely random act of violence. The police had literally no indication of any of that, because they were so hung up on the kid having done it.
i would've then taken the police department to court to have my dna removed from the system
Lying about DNA matching is actually diabolical
Happens all the time
Quite often police and prosecutors claim DNA match when the match is under 90%, sometimes way under 50%
Remember when Portuguese and British police found undeniable evidence that the McCain's had murdered their kid? The DNA matched them at a little bit under 50%
It also matched plenty of people in the lab itself
So... Yeah... DNA matching isn't always a surefire way to get confirmation
@@AN456dDNA matching is literally the most undeniable evidence. No one gets convicted because of 50% DNA match. Do you know any cases where someone was found guilty based only on that
@@AN456dI mean jury ain't that stupid 50 percent??😅😅
If 99% of all humans have matching DNA, are they gonna lock up everyone?
@569521406 Have you seen the people in comment sections? Personally I wouldn't want to take my chances.
Got it, waterfall the drink like you're in 7th grade and your homie brought a new mountain dew to lunch
Doesn't matter if you still touch the cup with your hands.
@@ThePositive0ne1cause you're not touching the table with your hands? Or the hand cuffs with your arms? Come on.
@@KodiakCombat I don't think you understood what I meant.
@ThePositive0ne1 but what did you mean then?
@@ThePositive0ne1 it's 2am here. Don't keep us waiting!
*drinks capri sun, crumples it up and puts into pocket afterwards”
Me eats the cup and accidentally swallows gum: opps
Lol😂😂😂
You should really put warnings on this stuff!
The police who were just trying to gather evidence but now have to call an ambulance: 😑
Cop: here’s another one. 😂
Me drinks my pee
@@shashi43526wdym? paper tastes good and ceramic/glass is the best part of drinking water
Real-life Saul Goodman
Slippin’ Jimmy
Just wanted to write that
jayoma
Criminal Lawyer 😅
He’s like the anti Saul Goodman because he doesn’t break the law. He’s like Saul Badman.
Remember kids, it’s a *legal* system, not a *justice* system
And if you are caught up in it 98.9% of the time you’ve done something to warrant it.
@@Nwilliam43that’s just so false I don’t know where to start
@@Stolaswhy right… people are always just randomly targeted by police because they are mean. Grow up.
@@Nwilliam43 the government can and does routinely turn citizens into criminals by criminalizing activities that cannot and should not be considered crimes in a reasonable society. Sit back and watch them do it with abortion, and you’ll see what “deserving it” means.
So why is it called the Department of JUSTICE?
Lol, no one catching me spitting out a piece of gum
bro is that one guy who reads the entire agreement 💀
That’s literally his job
Yeah?
He's a lawyer. some people are slow 🦥🦥🦥
*looks at delivery driver
“Bro is that one guy who puts boxes in front of people’s houses.”
*drives to cafe
“Bro is that one guy who makes people coffee and sells scones.”
*drives to bank
“Bro is that one guy who can help me open a checking account?”
*points at $5 dollar bill
“Bro is that one guy who emancipates slaves.”
*Drives home and looks in the mirror
“Bro is that one guy who asks ‘What is it all for?’”
The cops face when you waterfall the drink: 👺
Step 1: accept the gum
Step 2: swallow the gum and refuses to elaborate
😂
I do that in general 😅
I do that anyways
Leave no trace…
*Swallows the wrapper
Me: drinks the water and eats the cup
Me: Drinks the water by pouring it into my mouth without touching the cup with my mouth
@@ILiketoEatCerealLolFingerprints?
I unironiclly eat paper cups and straws
Read it as "drinks the water and eats the cop" lmao
@@kyllekongen2852 Nah, they could fingerprint right off the table
How to counter these while getting them:
Gum: swallow the gum
Spaghetti: swallow the fork (and the plate for good measure)
Soda: swallow the can
Water: swallow the cop
“Proving innocence” is the craziest thing to hear from anyone with a law background.
That's why the cop said it.
@@MrJDog3000 so cops aren’t supposed to have law background? 😬
@@MerudonWoW policing is a corrupt system that looks to imprison individuals. It doesn't care about your innocence. That's a job for "the courts". Also, there is no law background requirement to be a cop and there is little actual training on what is and is not illegal.
@@MerudonWoW 1. There is no law background requirement to be a cop.
2. Cops don't care if you're innocent or guilty. Their job is to arrest and detain*. All that "innocence" talk is left up to the courts.
3. There is little to no law enforcement training on what actually is or is not legal.
*Edit: changed typo from "details"
If they already have DNA left behind by the criminal, then showing your DNA is different proves innocence.
“Use this fork” “bro, I only eat with spoon”
You eat spaghetti with a spoon? 🥄
@@juggernautbob3840 i do too
@@kyansyt wow, sounds talented.
"Fine, use this spoon"
@@juggernautbob3840 its easy
*swallows gum
Cop: No this isn't how your supposed to play the game
😂
The wrapper:👁👄👁
@@Wingstopranch swallow that too 💀
@@Wingstopranchimplying I won’t swallow that?
*YOU'RE!
"Here's some rice for you don't forget to use this spoon"
*" I M A S I A N"*
I can't understand why American law is filled with hypocrisy
All law is
We're just more free to talk about it in America
I don't see hypocrisy here. I don't think you're using the word correctly.
Because America was
Founded by Satanists LOL
1 simple word here
Humans
america has the perfect combination of freedom and lack thereof to allow us to complain on the internet tirelessly about how we're turning into a surveillance state.
People who ate the wrapping,ate the cup and the fork is undetectable
Don’t forget to swallow the gum.
Bro graduated from Minecraft 💀
@@mometalaila9866 hope u understand this is a joke and you are joking too
@@CornerMike What about what they wrote made it seem like they didn’t understand?
When you outsmart the cop and eat the cup, fork and chewing gum
Eat the cup to establish dominance.
👀
They would just take your dna sample from your fallen hair follicles
Idk why but the cop placing the little paper cup back onto the table made me laugh
If i get offered spaghetti at a police station
Im eating that shit
I would do the same 😅
With HANDS
It better be some good ass Spaghetti
Spaghetti in exchange of potentially getting locked up forever or being sent to death row? NAH.
@@GriseWeisshark hell yeah! You take the spaghetti and be a silly goober and they let you out, its as shrimple as that!
I'll take the gum but will definitely swallow it
I have a problem with swallowing gum
Then what if your stomach gets tangled up and the lorax comes and fanum taxes you?😢
@@Jackington208 doors to the right
Your profile picture perfectly matches your comment
Oh, thanks for the gum!
*swallows it *
Mike is teaching the murderers how to deal with the cops! 😅
Instructions unclear, ate the cup
My buddy has this happen to him. He got hauled in for questioning of a murder. Now he's not particularly bright. Forget college, not only didn't he graduate HS, but he didn't even graduate Tech HS.
So he didn't think to ask for a lawyer or plead the 5th. So for 8hrs they questioned him. Gathering DNA off every bite of food and drink.
When i told him later he said, "So? Im innocent."
But, wherever there's a cop that needs a promotion, or a DA that needs a win on their stats, then evidence is irrelevant. They'll railroad a trailer park poor person every day is the week without a second thought.
So did your friend get charged or did they let him go?
No one knows @@andrefromelpasotexas3236
🐂 💩
@@andrefromelpasotexas3236they actually caught him halfway through his next murder
@andrefromelpasotexas3236 considering op says he later told his friend about this whole shebang and the friend responded with "so? I'm innocent" I assume the friend is let go
That slap in the beginning was great.
P.Diddy watching this be like:👁️👄👁️
Who needs criminals if you have such notorious cops😂
Who needs homeless shelters when you have Popeyes? Who needs a gay bar when you have a whole foods?
The caprisun would get me ngl
Waterfall it into your mouth
😂
Same here lmao
Just eat the whole things like the rest of us jeez
compress the bag and squeeze the juice into your mouth, straw is optional
Law and order SVU interrogation room moments in a nutshell
Honestly though! Always ask for a lawyer, talk through your lawyer and never take any offering from detectives.
Reminds me of the episode where they 'accidentally' (on purpose) broke a guys sunglasses so they could swab it for skin cells.
Be the alpha, eat the cup, get microplastics
I think it was Douglas Adams who wrote something like "Never think that the people who are trying their hardest to put you in jail are going to be interested in proving that you didn't do it"
This is so clever to use these skits to inform people of their legal rights.
You are a natural Mike. I am glad you have a great writer working with you.
I'm just glad he decided to become a lawyer and not a cop
@@berniesansProfessional liar.
Don't take the chocolate on the pillow either
Why does your interrogation room look like a hotel love suite?
💀💀💀
_💀💀💀_
💀💀💀
Nice try abigal. You just want those sweet sweet chocolate all to yourself🙃
I would drink the water by using my teeth to hold the cup
Police: gives gum and fork
Me: eats fork swalows gum
Me:refuses to elaborate
Cop: "Here, have some water."
Me: "Thanks." *does a waterfall*
They can still probably use the finger prints you used to touch the cup against you
@@thechesschannel7270 I hope you know that you leave your fingerprints literally everywhere, they can likely get it from the table
@@YaGirlZero Yeah , but they can't get DNA from a fingerprint.
That explains so many movie scenes for me
*puts trash in pockets swallows gum wipes fork doesnt eat*
I honesly dont care if its a trap, if they offer spagetti im eating it
Have fun in jail😂
Use your hands
What 8f your innocent 😅
@@misheelbatboldpretty sure if you know you didn't so anything you can be with no worry
@@SparkburstV nah the world ain't pretty as you think it is
instructions unclear, swallowed my gum and now i have house arrest until they figure out if i'm guilty or not
Not how that works at all 😂
Once a cop asked me if i wanted gum, I took it, and when he was not looking, put it in my back pocket lol
You hid gum when he looked away? You do know you chew gum, right? Terrible lie.
@@jbones7552 .
I swallow my gum all the time. Come and get it.
@@jbones7552 possibly he sucked gum, you don't know.
@@jbones7552saved it for later so it couldn't be evidence
people who don't touch cups with their mouth: 💀
>holds cup with shirt
>pours into mouth
>refuse to elaborate
Fun fact, eating the paper cup they bring you doesn’t come off as funny.
that was my first thought 😂
Just ask the cops to put the paper cup with your belongings so you can take it home with you. They may still get your DNA off it, but your lawyer can argue you didn't discard the item, they gave it to you and it's your property now. They can argue fruit of the poisonous tree too and probably get DNA evidence thrown out. I'm pretty sure it'd work, but maybe ask your lawyer first lol.
*Drinks cop water then agressively eats the cup while locking eye contact*
We lie to cops: jail time
Cops lie to us: just another day... 🙄
I honestly really didn't know this, thanks for the information!
Yeah, so when you finally commit a crime you'll know how to pass as innocent
@@yasininn76 or when you're accused of committing a crime and the cops don't want to do their job.
@@chrisnotpratt1903 at least you can sue the police officers if they do lie
@@nani4249 lmao no you can't. The supreme court ruled that cops can lie to you
The cops didn't do this to me, because when they searched me, they found a plastic cup in my pocket, which they had to let me keep since it's not illegal to possess.
-Get the gum
-chew it
-swallow it
-profit
Cop: *hands me water in paper cup*
Me: thanks!
Also me: *drinks water then eats cup*
But they also say refusing the water makes you look more guilty 😢
lol I ain’t thirsty though
Yeah, good thing looking guilty isn't enough to convict lol
"I want to speak to a lawyer."
cop: *gives water*
me: *drinks it without it touching my mouth (like a fountain)* water is *w a t e r*
abusing water like that should be illegal imo. Cant have that.
How is it abusing water? Litterally only a problem if you're guilty.
@@thecia9498 Yea but cant have that mindset in a justice system. If police are going to detain you and withold your freedom to leave, then you should be provided with water and food without having to fear that it will be used against you. I get that most cases would only affect people that are guilty, but its still not the right sentiment for a justice system that is built on "innocence til proven guilt"
@@kaspedkkaverage lgbtqist, feminist, discord mod, thinks he can make the world better, nerd🫵😭⁉️
@@jxydeskitty Im neither of those things lol. Also you really using "nerd" as an insult these days. Actual retard behaviour
Keep yourself safe @@jxydeskitty
Cop:he’s on his portable law school villain arc.
For 1 second I thought cops at the liquid state💀
mike is helping both criminals,cops and just everyone
"Police lie about DNA matching" Holly molly, never gonna eat or drink if a police officer offers me
Jake Weddle brought me here
“When ur done, spit it here!”
*stupid me swallowing it*
I wouldn't hesitate to eat the spaghetti
"Sorry, I brought my own fork, plate and food and drink." ☠️
**me picking the gum off the table with my mouth**
Bro's the enemy of the whole police center 💀
i usually bite the kool-aid straw when im done drinking it, guess im safe.
(swallows gum)
Cop:...
We escaping our crimes with this one
Bro is the type of guy to read the TOS
Me water falling and then eating the cup
Thanks for this info
I eat the cup with the water it’s a power move
Bro just waterfall the water 😂
That's what I'm saying
What about holding the cup?
Edit: Yeah y'all are probably right
@@seanfrazee5146 I would have to research that, but I'll let you know
@@seanfrazee5146 i think I round it up and realize this can only work with hair or blood, fingerprints would be the case in use of weapons. Which kinda depends.
@@dakotavinson6856plus they could get your fingerprints from a bunch of other ways
Police : Here, piece of gum!
Me : *chewing*
Me : *chewing*
Me : *chewing*
Me : *swallow the gums*
Me : ops
Bruh, this guy is the social media version of Saul Goodman
It can all be be stricken from evidence if you've got the right lawyer😅
If it’s a paper cup, drink it because thirsty, and then eat the cup because you’re hungry
Solution: drink the water, then eat the cup
didn't he already talk about this?
Gotta be thorough
Yes
Waterfall the water if u thirsty😭
Nah, thats how they get your finger prints.
@CrispyHFries you really think that they wouldn't have finger prints from other things you have touch, such as the table, handcuffs, or door handle🎉
Simple just use your sleeve to pick the cup up then waterfall the cup so the cup doesn't touch your lips loophole free water or food without any dna
Cop:Gives gum
Me:Swallows it
Cool:Gives water
Me:drinks it and eats the cup