Muslims and Marriage: Apps, Expectations and Haram Love Stories || TMC, E7
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ส.ค. 2024
- Nasir al-Amin gets honest about Muslim marriage in the modern day: marriage apps, dopamine hits, emotional regulation, second wives and situationships.
Follow Nasir al-Amin.
/ nasiralamin
/ nasiralamin.itsjustatest
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you would like to be better prepared for marriage, consider taking Sr Maryam Lemu’s Premarital Masterclass, an online course that takes an in-depth look at every aspect of preparing for marriage. Suitable for brothers and sisters. Check it out here: www.maryamlemu...
I get a small commission if you choose to sign up - I hope that's ok :)
Watch the Secrets of Successful Wives conference 🔗: • Secrets of Successful ...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MY SHOW
The Marriage Conversation is a series dedicated to having honest, open conversations about marriage in the Muslim community, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Hosted by award-winning author, speaker and coach, Na’ima B. Robert, every episode contains a wealth of insight, wisdom, advice and Islamic reminders for Muslims who want to have successful marriages.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MY LATEST BOOK
Show Up: A Motivational Message for Muslim Women - www.amazon.co....
If you've already read it, feel free to leave a review. Positive book reviews really help a lot, jazakAllahu khairan!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FREE EBOOK
Show Up: Heartbreak Edition - bit.ly/showuphe...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MY ONLINE COURSE FOR SISTERS
Be The Hero: muslimahwriter...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CONTACT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
♦ Facebook: www.facebook.c...
♦ Instagram: / naimabrobert
♦ Twitter: / naimabrobert
#naimabrobert #marriageconversation
As a new revert, divorce single mom of 3 this is pure FACTS!!!!! baggage work is so important. Especially the part where if the person doesn’t have a coach etc not worth it 💯 true
Yes Sister - until you kill your past; you're future can't survive. I had to deal with that in many ways myself.
Allah bless you with all the blessings.
@@shahgee1090 Brother, without Allah (swt) my life would be meaningless, he deserves all the credit Allhamdulillah, and I only work hard and let him guide me in all things. Allahu Akbar.
I need a religious wife. Me syed.
Welcome to Islam, and may Allah grant you and yours success in this life and the next. I appreciate you taking the time to watch our conversation and to share your thoughts! Since you enjoyed our conversation feel free to follow us on Instagram as well if you are not already.
Brother Nasir is 100% correct. The online culture of hook-up is sooooo easy it makes it very difficult to want to invest in a relationship. Men go online simply for hook up; there is no dating anymore, there's not even meeting out anymore, it's simply girls coming over. Matches are easy to come by; but YES, your spoiled for choice, ironically, it's made me much less apt to use it? Cuz it's too easy, at the same time, I see no value in talking to anyone because if I want company; I'll just turn it back on - This is the irony of dating apps. IF you use dating apps for marriage or relationships, ..that is a very scary place to be. Brothers and sisters, look anywhere else BUT Dating Apps.
Well, I accepted a proposal from my fiance who is 15 years younger than me just for patience he has to teacher me quar'n. And now we are like Best friends, care to much for eachother ...waiting for wedding 😍✨ inshaAllah 💖✨💕
I need a husband that Allah (SWT) has planned to send me to marry!
Sister (respectfully) keep your eyes open; Allah will send him to you soon.
Allah bless you with a pious husband
And children also.
Hope you best please
I love ❤️ your channel sister!! Mashallah 😍 so informative . I’m 35 a single mother ,I gave it up . brothers are not looking for women, my age with a child,. I doubt brothers would be checking for a sister, with my situation I just accepted the truth. Even though it’s hard. Ramadan Mubarak 🌙 everyone May Allah accept our fast.
There is hope for everyone. Just make a VERY short (about 6) list of things that are a deal breaker, and then look for a husband.
@@zirwasiddique7658 Thank you , you are correct, it is hope just belive it will happen. If we truly desire it . It will!!!
@@prettyloubey8411 Yes, and also keep praying. Good Luck! I am rooting for you.
@@zirwasiddique7658 once again you are correct!!! Thank you so much 😊.I’m praying 🤲🏾. You are appreciated. Sending blessings your way.
@@prettyloubey8411 Thankyou!
sister what you are saying is absolutely true, but some of us live in communities that men have totally dropped the ball. that makes it hard to put them where Allah put them.
May Allah make it easy for you and those in your community. One of the perks of married men is receipts: he has already demonstrated with his first family that he can be a provider and maintainer. If there is a scarcity of capable men in your community it might be worth expanding your pool to include married brothers.
It’s a sad reality that yes irrelevant things have now been made “the criteria” in looking for a spouse, so we have to live with it b’coz we reap what we saw.
If only we can note down our mistakes and correct them with our next generation then that would be better but instead we collect our baggage and throw it onto the next generation, and then wonder why they are worse.
May Allah grant us spouses that are best for us in our dean fi duniyah and akhirah.
It works both ways!
Both have to ask themselves what they’ll be bringing to the marriage.
Muslim women having this attitude is mainly in response to Muslim men using the Deen to control and limit Muslim women.
no, thats making excuses for the muslim women. they need to look in the mirror instead of complaining about the men. control is part of the Deen
I’m sure this wasn’t the intention of the talk but it was downright depressing. It just makes a women in her 30s feel low worth. I understand that the message is trying to be real about what’s happening on the ground but this makes the situation sound hopeless.
It sure does sis I’m in my mid thirties, I give up. It’s a reality unfortunately, why is it that ,because we are in our thirties we are not worthy of love and marriage i can’t understand it.
its the reality for most of them
@@prettyloubey8411 you have too much baggage. also your age
@@prettyloubey8411 Sister. What you need to do is figure out what you are willing to compromise on. Also have self awareness as in what do I bring to the potential husband. Perhaps you could consider men who do not want children or already have children from a previous marriage? Or what about polygyny? Or consider men who are 45+ as they will see you as young?
@@tya9021 To be honest ,this is very very good advice. You gave me some real things to think about. Thank you so much for your comment. I will take all of these things into consideration. You are appreciated. ☪️☀️🤲🏽.Great advice you gave.
Whaaaaat ? I'm sorry sis Naima trippin lol 😆
Yes this was a mess
Sister can you do a video on how to break through The outer shell and defensiveness that men display during conflict and how to best approach it as a Muslimah wife. Underneath that shell is a need and most of us cannot share those needs. I don’t know how to deal with conflict because my husband is quick to feel as though I’m going to hurt him or harm him when conflict comes up. I’d love to hear your experience on resolving conflict in a healthy way, for the sake of Allah. In’sha’Allah
Sister (Respect to your Husband) - Just deal with him as respectfully as possible. Men appreciate respect more than anything. I'm Samoan - Nigerian - Muslim, it is the hallmark of our Male/Female dynamic.
Maybe you come off as harsh or disrespectful. Maybe he has baggage he needs to work on. Maybe both.
Everyone has preferences there are pros to marrying older and younger women it all depends on what you want and need. My first husband was 15 yrs older he was all happy about that but then didn't like my immaturity, you cant have it all. After divorce I wasn't keen on marrying a man much older, marrying an older man comes with its drawbacks,do I want an old dad for my kids, no. This age thing goes both ways.
not really. age plays to the advantage of a man not the woman
@@cooljool1 only if he hss money. And even then when I was looking to get married I knew money is not enough, I was approached by a wealthy 50 Yr old age gap of 20 Yr between us, I said no and he was very wealthy, why did I say no? Because I knew as I aged I'd still be much younger than him and I'd lose interest in him, I knew I'm better off with a man with an average salary but younger but at least I won't lse interest in him. Men seem to think women are no visual at all and have no needs, it's not true! Just the other day my friend told me she consisted an older man and she said, I felt like I was walking with a dad, so I said no. Men decline with age as well! They hit their prime between their 30-40s esh, after tjat don't ever be deluded to think a 20 something Yr old is gonna find you attractive let alone a 30 something Yr old.
It also depends on the culture, some other culture maybe the woman couldn't care less, you'd see a 60 Yr old with a 30 Yr old, why did she marry him? Well he's giving her a house and money, but at the end of the day you can see she's not sexually attracted to him. And that's the thing men don't get that, she's full of energy and he's declining. I'm so not pro big age gaps. 10 yrs max in my opinion.
Asalaamu’alaykum. This discussion reminded me of a hadith pasted below. Truly if we stuck to our sources (Qur’an, sunnah, trusted scholars) as sister Na’ima mentioned, we wouldn’t have all these issues and obstacles in finding a satisfactory spouse insha’Allah.
God’s Messenger was reported as saying what means, “When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so there will be temptation in the earth and extensive corruption." Tirmidhi transmitted it.
وَعَنْهُ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «إِذَا خَطَبَ إِلَيْكُمْ مَنْ تَرْضَوْنَ دِينَهُ وَخُلُقَهُ فَزَوِّجُوهُ إِنْ لَا تَفْعَلُوهُ تَكُنْ فِتَنَةٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَفَسَادٌ عَرِيضٌ» . رَوَاهُ التِّرْمِذِيُّ
حسن (الألباني) حكم :
Summary: don't take extra when you flying
Why would any Muslim be on a app looking to find a husband or wife smh . Would our beloved Prohet Muhammad salahi wa salaam be doing this no . This is not the Islamic way to find a husband or wife that’s why it’s so many issues with it
The Horn of Africa? He’s Somali???
No, I’m a Black man from America. However I have made several trips to the Horn of Africa.
@@nasiral-amin thanks for the reply, I’m glad you enjoy East Africa
💯
The men have options non Muslim and Muslim women , sheesh I’m so done . Hard being a Muslimah
Not really - Hard being a "picky" Muslimah. At 30 you're supposed to be commentating not still wearing your jersey.
Sister. Both men and women have options. It is just that the options are dynamic and are a function of age to a great extent. Imagine an average 20 year old woman who wants to get married vs. an average 20 year old man who wants to get married. The woman has more options than the man as at that age a lot of men will want her, so she will have some leverage in the marriage market. As time progresses, usually by age 30, the options swing the other way and pretty much stay that way. If man is on his purpose he will be his most attractive to women in his 30's. A woman's most desirable age is her late teens/early twenties. This is when she has leverage/options.
@@tya9021 Thank you! I understand what you are saying.
It's true I have a lot of options in non Muslim men
@@teteyaya870 No you dont. Its Haram. You have non marriage options