You deserve a man who is ready to give you the commitment you desire ❤️ Get your copy of "The Man God Has For You" here 👉 www.themangodhasforyou.com 👈 women everywhere are calling this book a blessing to read!
How about this though. I have a man that told me he's scared, and that I change the narrative in is life. He adores me and taken care of me, and I've taken care of him. He just bought us making a commitment, and got scared again.
Stephan.. what about if a guy you’ve been seeing for 3 months wants to be exclusive with you and in a relationship but not in a serious committed relationship right now but definitely open to it in the future.. help!
Roughly a third of American women will never marry. You may "deserve" everything in the world. We tell our kids a lot of fairy tales. In reality, a period of co-habitation, or serial affairs may be the best that you can expect.
@@ericapolk8123 Maybe consider developing an ongoing Pre-nuptial agreement that won't destroy him financially. Provision for children, and creating an estate that provides for your future security are part of future planning. Odds are 56% that a marriage will end in divorce. Left to the Family Court, responsible men get absolutely hammered. Or consider continuing as you are, without bringing the Government into your bed.
Women only care about herself. She knows nothing about love. Sex, resources, making a baby, leave is the only thing she care about. What about what I want since I'm outside her expectations? She doesn't care because she's senile and know nothing about love
Do not have sex, with men you are not in a relationship with. Things get real unhealthy and toxic quick. It’s easier to walk away when nothing is invested. It’s that way for a reason protect your heart and your body. You deserve better!
This is the absolute truth!! When you take intimacy out of the equation it is very easy to eliminate guys who want to get to know you and build something meaningful and guys who have other agendas
So correct. Thats why, i blocked him for a year and unblocked after a year but still the same and expects me to change my low voice coz its not romantic and fingers should be long but my fingers are long. His eyes might be in his bum. And he didn't liked how i walked too. Sigh..
Sandra Van Den Driesen he’s finding things he doesn’t like about you and that’s a huge red flag. (You already know, that’s why he’s blocked) Imagine if you kept entertaining this man, he could slowly destroy your self esteem! Stay strong, and a man who is secure in himself, will love all of you. Not some made up flaws in his head! Say this everyday if you have to! I don’t need him! I wish you the best ❤️
@@AshzxQuidYT As long as i don't communicate on whatsapp about anything, he doesn't bother me at all. But he is still unfriended on facebook. I am keeping it that way.
@Paul Hogue most times you do cause they will tell you upfront how they feel, if not they will give you hints. It's just up to you to identify them and decide whether you will deal with it or not
I think as women we need to just stop chasing someone who is not interested. Its false hope we create that we will change them or that they will change their mind. It's a waste of time and energy. A man will literally tell you where you stand but we ignore him or ignore the signs or ignore our intuition. We sometimes cause our own heartbreak 💔
Amen! As women we have to learn the power of walking away the SECOND a man expresses his inability to commit and be consistent in our lives. Unfortunately we are groomed to give men the benefit of the doubt, be patient while he "works on himself" and in some cases having a piece of a man is better than no man at all 🤦🏿♀️ Stop ignoring your intuition queens...your higher self is sending a warning 🙏🏿
This is why I say, upfront, what I want (relationship, commitment, marriage). If they tell me that they don't want what I want, I leave cause I'm too old to be wasting my time and thinking I can change anyone's mind.
Be careful with this. I know what you're saying but some women take this and run with it bc they're looking for any reason not to leave. "Well, he said he doesn't want a relationship but he says he doesn't want to lose me either. He still wants me in his life. _He doesn't want to lose me_ ". No, girl! He doesn't want you with _other men_ , but he doesn't want you either lol Walk!
Be a men are not wired like us. They for sure don’t see time like us. They got all the time in the world to waste. Especially a man who doesn’t have or know his purpose.
This, if a man likes you at least as a friend and respects you he will free you. I always tell them, I am someones daughter someones sister. Would you string along your sister or your daughter? Those men are just selfish, they want the experience of having a woman around, yet not commit to her. Issue is, we sometimes give in cause being single for long time is lonely and so we give the milk. Been single for 7 years, not 1 serious guy who wanted to commit 🥺
I have learned by experience that when a man says to you "He is not ready for a relationship" WITH YOU is silent let that sink all the way in your cerebrum!😩😩😩
Why does any of this have to be so complicated? When you meet someone, you either like them or not. Life is too short for all the games and time is an irreplaceable commodity.
My man when he first approached me, told me he was looking to be in a relationship with someone, that will turn into a marriage. Fast forward, we exchanged numbers and he made the commitment two months later. He always keep me informed and let me know his intentions. Titles definitely matter.
Always wise to listen to a man's verbal cues and what his intentions are if he speaks about you in future tense if he speaks with a lot of hesitation those type of things.
A man like that will use you for his convenience with ZERO intentions of ever marrying you! He'll tell you everything you want to hear just to hang on while searching for other options behind your back! Don't get played ladies!
To tell the truth, i will absolutely refuse marriage. It’s an over sensationalized way to involve government into private affairs and brings nothing but risk to the man. That is why men do not want to marry. We have seen our fathers and their fathers get absolutely destroyed by the court system. So, which would you have? Place your entire future, past, and present into the hands of a person operating on emotion, living for the vows with no real intention to keep them, fully aware of their legal advantage, or remain single, have the occasional fling that you can sweep under the rug without risk of someone else destroying your life out of spite? Think the answer is clear here
Yes you HIT the NAIL on the head with your #2 & #3point. As for FEMALE COMPANIONSHIP I am NOT a cuddle buddy or a temporary bus stop. Ladies LET HIM GOOOOOOO
Yes mam! Gosh, this whole video cleared up SO much for me. I was starting to kinda doubt myself (having recently walked away), but i'm so glad i went with my gut instinct and finally broke away!!
#1 Not interested right now #2 Not over the other person. He has hope or is hurt from previous relationship #3 He likes you a lot but does not think you are the one.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks omg!! Did you just respond to my comment. I cant believe it i have always been your ardent follower. I have learned so much from your videos and am glad am now closer to emotional healing. Keep inspiring us
Ladies, when a man says “it’s not you, it’s me” he is lying!!! . It is you because you are not the “one” for him. Drop that zero and move on! Don’t waste your time with a man who doesn’t have anything to offer you, let alone sees you as commitment-worthy to him. You’re worth more than trying to beg a man for a commitment. Tell him Boy bye!!!!
Men give you endless reasons why he doesn't want a relationship with you, AFTER he gets his way with you. Which is why I advocate for celibacy until marriage. This chile right here, will NOT be a jump off.
You have to watch out cause a man will still marry you and use you I know cause my dad is living proof but it’s more to it then sex if a guy still marries you and use you
Ladies and Gents this is why i believe its better to stay celibate until marriage. Call it old school but I've learnt the hard way why celibacy is important it's a way of reservation dont give yourself to someone who doesnt show you they are ready to commit and willing to work it out. The right person will respect your values and integrity. Someone who is serious will make effort and be consistent. Sex is important but it goes all down the drain if you give it to the wrong person. Protect yourself first build a solid foundation with your partner and when ready ask for God's blessing on your partnership through marriage.
JenJen - I hear you. Actually, if not staying celibate, I really like the 90-day rule, but folks want to throw you under a bus if you start talking about that. I simply don't get why 90 days is so bad. If people have patience, it can really help. It's not a test for _him_ it's time for _you_ to slow down and take a good look before you give your body. But celibacy is best.
@@jdstep97 thank you for sharing your perspective and i totally get why people apply the 90day rule in their life. To be frank I dont choose to be celibate just for my sake. I choose celibacy because it's simply what God commands. And reflecting on all my past relationships I came to understand why I should always put God first before mine or anyone else's needs. At the end of the day God has our best interests heart. When we focus on being faithful to God first and stop making excuses life is much more sanctified. It's not always the easy choice coz temptation is real... but in the end I rather reap the rewards from God than from this temporary world. In my opinion 90day rule falls short of glorifying God unless of course a couple ends up getting married for all the right reasons within 90days 🤭. Everyone's timeline is different but I do believe in marriage first before sex.
Yes. It’s a lifestyle choice. They haven’t got their shit together. Most of the time, they have no guidance from family or their friends are bottom feeders like them. Addictions could surround them and that’s what they’re committed to. Avoid at all costs, they don’t change and don’t care for much in their lives.
People do what they want to do. He's selfish and wants you around without putting forth any work or effort and you will get hurt. He'll tell you what you want to hear to manipulate you into getting what he wants. Run sis!! You deserve better!
@@Chevonne8 so true. These guys that don't want a relationship get so petty when they see you walking away from their games. They just cause chaos. When you care about someone, committing is a way of saying you want them in your life. Not committing means they don't want you as a part of their life.
I wish I could've seen this video a week ago. I broke up yesterday with a man that didn't want a true commitment when I told him from the very beginning what I wanted from the relationship. He tried to coerce me to think like him and I stood on my ground. Proud of myself, but I feel dumb I wasted my time with someone like that.
The guy I was dealing with tried to make it seem as if I was trying to pressure him into commitment when all I was asking for was the simple things. He told me I should focus on myself....and I’m doing just that ☺️☺️☺️. I refuse to be lead on or in a “situationship” with an emotionally unavailable man. Everything you said was extremely accurate. My standards are definitely higher and I know what to be cautious of in the future
Basically what I’m listening to and understanding is “some men are incredibly selfish” and the best part is later on when they discard you then they come around later talking about oh I shouldn’t have let you go blah blah blah ...
The dreaded #3 😱. So real! It took a lot to learn & finally understand I am not obligated to wait for anyone who is not ready. It's ok to walk away and risk losing a relationship that could be detrimental to you and wait for the one God has for you!
A lot of people both men and women don’t like to commit because they fantasize and romanticize a past relationship that didn’t work because of the human want of what we can’t have, it ruined my first relationship and it ruins a lot . I wanted to commit she didn’t and it broke me .I’m fine now because life keeps moving like a river ,stay strong everyone !! :)
I just dealt with a 43 year old like this. I gave him 2 month of my time and he just was on his not ready for a relationship, but likes the companionship and his still dealing with anxieties from his ex, I ditches him cause I won't waste my time with someone who's selfish and that broken by a ex over a year ago. I have a plan for a future with a man and that's not God's plan for me. No need to waste time on a selfish man when there is available genuine men praying for someone like you to be in their lives. Walk away from a confused man always! That man will never value you.
He says he wants a relationship and eventually marriage but after five years off and on you realize he will never do that with you or anyone else. Why? He gets to stay in control and in the power position since he was deeply hurt from his divorce when young. I saw the signs and stayed until my self esteem grew. Thank YOU Stephan. Your videos and ladies comments here are helping me stay away from him because he always comes back. Not lettin’ him block the door anymore for a committed man!!
I learned all this the hard way. I had to learn to love myself and during lockdown I purged that man out of my life. Believe a man when he tells you, you are a placeholder, don't waste anytime on him, there are plenty of other men who will give you a proper title. I am sure that God has a much better plans for me in the future.
I had a guy said “ I never said I wanted a relationship I just said you were a good vibe” idk wtf that means and yes he did say he wanted a relationship then said “let’s see where it goes”
Yes I heard recently from someone that the one God have for you will see you and treat you as the option. Not just an option. If you sense they are playing mind games. Move on so you can keep your joy, peace, and sanity. You have to do what is best for you. Self love is key. You will NOT settle for just any and everything if you genuinely love God and self.
Love will always find u.. genuine love at that...better focus on building urself and ur life...aim at ur success in the meantime make urself happy and contented with and in ur achievements..real love will find u
Can’t have the benefits without the commitment... What about the damage that he’s done to other women it’s usually just an excuse or the other excuses... or I can’t give you what you deserve or need that’s an excuse but then he can go out/date somebody else and give them what they deserve and need that doesn’t make any sense... I agree... He’s not over one of the exes from the past... nailed it. it’s bs... Yes it’s best not deal with him and put on your track shoes and 🏃♀️ run!
I totally agree. We get caught up into the wrong people and the wrong things longing for a true connection. However, we find ourselves being the missing piece to the puzzle that they never intended to place. Been there, done that. Self awareness and Self love is first and foremost before trying to place all your feelings into a lost cause... Be Blessed and Be safe!
My husband was a committed bf and is still super committed to me after 20 years. You need to pray to meet the right guy, but it's not easy to find him. I failed many relationships, failed a marriage, before I met my husband. When you find him, he's definitely committed. He won't have a problem. When you talk about marriage, he won't have a problem. Then you will know he's the one for you.
Another reason could be his life's choices messed him up and he's not waking with the Lord, therefore he does not see any value in a godly relationship. I know someone like that. Even though he said he loves me and wants me to be his wife, I let him go because I could see from his choices and behavior, he was not ready. It would be a disastrous relationship.
A lot of men who don't want to commit just aren't emotionally available. They may have past experiences that they need to heal from before getting into another commitment.
Sometimes you just have to let go and let God. You just have to love God first and foremost, and in turn you will love yourself. Know that you deserve better, that your feelings are valid, and that what you want matter. Don't try to control, demand, and manipulate him to do so. Part ways if you all can't see eye to eye on certain things that are very important.
If the relationship does not happen, it wasn't meant for you or he's not meant for you. Take care of you, be in a relationship with you and the Most High most of all, your Maker knows your desires, your wants and needs and He has the right man for you when it is time for you to have him. Don't work hard to get the attention of a man, he's not it. You are the Queen. You are to be the one pursued. Get close to the All Mighty, you won't be worried about a man boy who's clearly not ready or mature enough to build with you!
It's take ALOT to"Get over" the ex that I was "IN LOVE" with I gave myself over 1 year to heal and I believe "I'm ready" but also not in a rush because I know God has a gift!
21 years in a relationship and no marriage. I'm thinking I wasted all these years on the wrong man, he only wants to get married when I left him 4 times.. LOL I keep getting suckered back into the relationship with false hopes,, broken promises, etc.. its very exhausting. Thankfully, I have 3 beautiful children out of it.
He won't commit but he doesn't want to let you go. That's selfish. Run from people who are into you for their ego and for selfish reasons. One day he will find someone else, marry here right under you nose. He won't care if you go insane. In the first place, he being in a relationship with you was about him and not you
Great video! I was #3, but he did tell me we’d get married, but kept moving the carrot. I moved in with him believing we’d get married within the first 5 years because he wasn’t “ready” for marriage yet. 5 years became 10 years and he still wasn’t ready. I don’t want someone part way in and I certainly won’t pay the price for his ex wife. Nor will I be kept at a distance so that I “cannot get his pension”. Marriage was not the be all and end all for me but when it’s because of money, it’s a problem and I didn’t see any of the “I’m afraid of you taking my money” stuff until I had moved in. My own fault for holding out hope that it would change if I just gave it time. A mature man heals his wounds and doesn’t make someone else pay the price for that.
This guy I was dealing with he told me that he wants to be with me but he doesn’t have anything to offer me. I appreciate his honesty but my thing is why keep bothering me if you know that you feel like you are inadequate. I would accept him fully where he is now! But I realized that he has the issues not me. 🤷🏾♀️
@@Lay_Lay208 trust me too!! When we in the thick of it.. you're blind to it all.. however once you step out if it..you can see way more clearly.. but we will do better girl, I know it!
Widowed after 23 years of marriage. Oh how dating has changed. I met my ex and agreed to exclusive relationship. After several months broke it off with him over an ex. 6months later, I asked to be friends. He agreed to FWB. Since Covid, he has been a boyfriend in "ACTION". I asked for confirmation and he said we are friends and wants to continue what we have. He is now an ex. It really hurts. I'm retired and have lots of time but not interested in meeting new men. It's lonely and I remind myself it had to be done. It feels like self punishment. He treated me very well and I had my needs met, socially, physically, and sexually. Dang it's tough.😟
Belinda Rodriguez - Hang in there. Figure out exactly what you want. If you just want physical intimacy, no problem. But if you want something more, where he meets your emotional and spiritual needs, that's important, too. Know what exactly what you want and demand it. If he cannot offer that, do NOT waste your time. Do you. Better to be alone than waste time. You enjoy life and bet the best version of you, and the right man will come along worthy of your time.
I feel ya. Being alone isn't fun but a peace of mind is amazing! Be in peace and not pieces. Focus on God and He will send you your king.🙏 That's what I'm doing, in the meantime I'm working on me and getting ready for my king😊. God bless you Queen!
A person (male or female) won't commit to someone that they aren't that interested in. Same way when women put guy in the friend zone. We make things so complicated some times...
That is why I am still single waiting on God to lead a good man in my life. I dont have time for mind games and back forth. You was so right in this video. I know people that is going thru this right now. I had to share this video with them. Thanks Stephan for your wisdom. God is really using you to help us all.
This is super legit!! I was searching for answers of ‚why he can‘t commit to me’ and this video hit me hard...I waited for him almost 1 year that maybe he can change his mind, but it didnt happened. I finally had the courage to leave him. It‘s hard but i‘m trying my best to move on. Lesson learned: don‘t settle for anything less.
People think im full of shit when i say i dont want to commit. Even if a celebrity hit me up I still wouldnt. Its just not what I want. And because you put that point in there you get a like sir
I really respect the fact you took your time out to break tha chain some females are lost and get talked dwn on instead if helping break tha chain 💪🏾💯 God Bless You
Let him chase and chase and chase us and treat us as princess. All we have to do is taking care of ourselves. Focus on our career. Put yourself first. Why should we give in untill he kneel down and ask our hand.Ladies take good care of your heart.
Mannnnn....Stephan I’m finna(Ebonics lol) block you 😂 Every since I found your page you been all in my head 😂 I went along w/that for almost 8 years;( I finally got tired and end it! Him: I changed my mind I’m ready? Me: I changed mind too I’m over it lol Been apart for two years no contact! No communication! No nothing and I’m beyond ecstatic 🤩 Ladies: Don’t allow yourself to be strung along. Change the direction of the pulling and cut the STRING😉
Great message. I want to believe that most men want to commit, but it seems that because so many of us women settle for giving relationship benefits without the commitment and so these men are running around having their cake and eating it too..Seems to me that there is little incentive for many men to settle. Wish daring was a little easier:
I respect is 100%, and this made so much sense to me. But the part that really bugged me is the fact that men “ still want female presence/ intimacy “ even if he doesn’t want commitment. This feels like the honest reality but that definitely sucks and I wish ppl take the time to heal and stop leading others on. Nevertheless thank you Stephan! I adore and respect u so much for helping us woman, esp those that don’t have genuine male figures in their life
Very true, ...as sad as it sounds. We should not waste our time, with men who do not deserve or appreciate it. The sooner we part ways, the better. Loved the cup of tea example.... thanks Stephan
This was absolutely excellent! 👏🙌👏 Another reason men won't commit (especially in a case where children are involved) is that responsibility / engagement moves from being optional to required.
Thank you so much for this!! You hit the nail on the head! Embarrassed to say I've been dealing with this for almost two years, he infact did tell me more than once, and I didn't listen, and thought I could change his mind. To top it off he was good to me and my children, but that all falls short with no commitment. This will be ending today, and it's no coincidence that I came across this video. It is heartbreaking, but this mama of 3 will bounce back stronger than ever!!
I agree with you Stephan. I had to share this video with my friend. I try to give her the same advice. Don't give up your body, mind and soul to a man who does not want a relationship with you. I refuse to waste my time with any lame. I will appreciate your advice. Your book the man god has for you I have read it twice. Its a very good book. You are awesome!!!
Damn a lot of clarity was made for me in this video. It's time to get real, honest, upfront, and ask direct questions do you want me yes or no, do you want a relationship yes or no. Its just like asking what do you like to eat, your favorite color, activities, what did you study in college if you attended. It shouldn't be that complicated to get an answer. If you can't answer the question ladies or gentlemen you're not ready for a committed relationship. Walk away and keep on goin until you get to the right person, place ,and time.
You deserve a man who is ready to give you the commitment you desire ❤️ Get your copy of "The Man God Has For You" here 👉 www.themangodhasforyou.com 👈 women everywhere are calling this book a blessing to read!
Have mines reading now
How about this though. I have a man that told me he's scared, and that I change the narrative in is life. He adores me and taken care of me, and I've taken care of him.
He just bought us making a commitment, and got scared again.
Stephan.. what about if a guy you’ve been seeing for 3 months wants to be exclusive with you and in a relationship but not in a serious committed relationship right now but definitely open to it in the future.. help!
Roughly a third of American women will never marry. You may "deserve" everything in the world. We tell our kids a lot of fairy tales. In reality, a period of co-habitation, or serial affairs may be the best that you can expect.
@@ericapolk8123 Maybe consider developing an ongoing Pre-nuptial agreement that won't destroy him financially. Provision for children, and creating an estate that provides for your future security are part of future planning. Odds are 56% that a marriage will end in divorce. Left to the Family Court, responsible men get absolutely hammered. Or consider continuing as you are, without bringing the Government into your bed.
Women have a lot more power than we realize, don’t be foolish. Be smart classy and use the power of walking away!
I love 💕 this! ‘Use the power of walking away’.
Why is it when we do walk away they suddenly are in love with us more than they ever realised haha
I needed this
@@thanossfinger5960 😂😂😂😂
@Goddess RA 👁 can I get some of this will power considering that I’m trying to move forward with my assets? 😩
You will never be good enough for the wrong man...once I learned that, so many things became more clear.
I feel you thanks!
So true!
Women only care about herself. She knows nothing about love. Sex, resources, making a baby, leave is the only thing she care about. What about what I want since I'm outside her expectations? She doesn't care because she's senile and know nothing about love
You are so right!! No matter what, you will never be valued
@@suzanaandrade2125 oh sure and just ignore me
Ladies, do not entertain a man who does not want a relationship/marriage if that is what you want.
byeeeeeeeeeeeee
Exactly, don't waste your time.
Truth
Yes.. truth.
Most me. Don't openly express that!
@@amilllion1 me too.
Do not have sex, with men you are not in a relationship with. Things get real unhealthy and toxic quick. It’s easier to walk away when nothing is invested. It’s that way for a reason protect your heart and your body. You deserve better!
This is the absolute truth!! When you take intimacy out of the equation it is very easy to eliminate guys who want to get to know you and build something meaningful and guys who have other agendas
So correct. Thats why, i blocked him for a year and unblocked after a year but still the same and expects me to change my low voice coz its not romantic and fingers should be long but my fingers are long. His eyes might be in his bum. And he didn't liked how i walked too. Sigh..
Sandra Van Den Driesen he’s finding things he doesn’t like about you and that’s a huge red flag. (You already know, that’s why he’s blocked) Imagine if you kept entertaining this man, he could slowly destroy your self esteem! Stay strong, and a man who is secure in himself, will love all of you. Not some made up flaws in his head! Say this everyday if you have to! I don’t need him! I wish you the best ❤️
@@AshzxQuidYT As long as i don't communicate on whatsapp about anything, he doesn't bother me at all. But he is still unfriended on facebook. I am keeping it that way.
Not even just a relationship, not until marriage. Women should stop playing with these men and save yourself. You are worth the wait.
I respect that, but I’m not your in the meantime until you find your perfect person.
Stephan Speaks 👋🏼
@Paul Hogue most times you do cause they will tell you upfront how they feel, if not they will give you hints. It's just up to you to identify them and decide whether you will deal with it or not
Or maybe he thinks that he’s going to find better
Exactly.
Exactly!!!
I think as women we need to just stop chasing someone who is not interested. Its false hope we create that we will change them or that they will change their mind. It's a waste of time and energy. A man will literally tell you where you stand but we ignore him or ignore the signs or ignore our intuition. We sometimes cause our own heartbreak 💔
So true..😢now I am on here pourin my guts out..b cause I do not hav anyone outside of god 2 talk 2...
Amen! As women we have to learn the power of walking away the SECOND a man expresses his inability to commit and be consistent in our lives. Unfortunately we are groomed to give men the benefit of the doubt, be patient while he "works on himself" and in some cases having a piece of a man is better than no man at all 🤦🏿♀️ Stop ignoring your intuition queens...your higher self is sending a warning 🙏🏿
@@potentialrizing1949 💯🙏🏽
Potential Rizing yes the havin a piece of a man..when we should’ve hav been told nd shown that we could hav a WHOLE MAN...
@@dapowerfulgoddessqueen1152 🤗 now you know better
Maya Angelou said it best "When somebody shows you who they are, Believe them".
Word!!
This is so true ...always check what your initial instincts are saying too !
Amen🙏🏾
This is why I say, upfront, what I want (relationship, commitment, marriage). If they tell me that they don't want what I want, I leave cause I'm too old to be wasting my time and thinking I can change anyone's mind.
Don't panic now, you should've been pushing for that in your younger days
@@godmind675 who's panicking? 🤔 I have always been that way though.... So not sure where you are going with it but...ok
@@godmind675 patronising, no?..
Should have used your youth the get the best man- idk why y’all ladies don’t understand
Exactlyyyyyyyyyy - I don’t have the kind of time or energy!!!
If he’s really feeling you, he won’t risk losing you to another guy period.
That’s how I feel!
I just realized that tonight
Be careful with this. I know what you're saying but some women take this and run with it bc they're looking for any reason not to leave. "Well, he said he doesn't want a relationship but he says he doesn't want to lose me either. He still wants me in his life. _He doesn't want to lose me_ ". No, girl! He doesn't want you with _other men_ , but he doesn't want you either lol Walk!
Some times men just feel they can use you as a place holder, until they find the one.
But that's the issue. They should just stop playing with ppl feelings
Exactly, but they'll keep playing as long as we let them
My dad has done that boy did he get his karma lol
Women do the same shit
@@shutit4024 how? Lol
If you don’t want a committed relationship with the person you are with KNOWING DARN WELL they want a committed relationship WHY WASTE TIME. PERIODT!!
💯
Exactly causin damage 2 that person..
Be a men are not wired like us. They for sure don’t see time like us. They got all the time in the world to waste. Especially a man who doesn’t have or know his purpose.
Exactly!!!!!!
This, if a man likes you at least as a friend and respects you he will free you.
I always tell them, I am someones daughter someones sister. Would you string along your sister or your daughter?
Those men are just selfish, they want the experience of having a woman around, yet not commit to her.
Issue is, we sometimes give in cause being single for long time is lonely and so we give the milk.
Been single for 7 years, not 1 serious guy who wanted to commit 🥺
I have learned by experience that when a man says to you "He is not ready for a relationship" WITH YOU is silent let that sink all the way in your cerebrum!😩😩😩
Scream is sista!!!!!
Why does any of this have to be so complicated? When you meet someone, you either like them or not. Life is too short for all the games and time is an irreplaceable commodity.
Exactly!!!
Ppl just want to do there own thing that's why we have to use our intuition and make the best decision for ourselves.
Ena_ _We facts
There’s not even enough time to be spending it with* the wrong* person seriously !! I think this alll the time
Right thinking the same thing!
Ladies don't waste your time with these type of men, keep it moving
Women do it too. I just had to break it off with a girl who wouldn’t commit to me after 6 months.
My man when he first approached me, told me he was looking to be in a relationship with someone, that will turn into a marriage. Fast forward, we exchanged numbers and he made the commitment two months later. He always keep me informed and let me know his intentions.
Titles definitely matter.
He tells me I'm going to be his wife, whether I like it or not lol
@Molly Rivers Thank you❤
Awww
Always wise to listen to a man's verbal cues and what his intentions are if he speaks about you in future tense if he speaks with a lot of hesitation those type of things.
Beautiful
A man like that will use you for his convenience with ZERO intentions of ever marrying you!
He'll tell you everything you want to hear just to hang on while searching for other options behind your back! Don't get played ladies!
And that’s how guys get themselves killed 🤷🏽♀️
That's exactly what cheating men do, mine does that.
To tell the truth, i will absolutely refuse marriage. It’s an over sensationalized way to involve government into private affairs and brings nothing but risk to the man. That is why men do not want to marry. We have seen our fathers and their fathers get absolutely destroyed by the court system. So, which would you have? Place your entire future, past, and present into the hands of a person operating on emotion, living for the vows with no real intention to keep them, fully aware of their legal advantage, or remain single, have the occasional fling that you can sweep under the rug without risk of someone else destroying your life out of spite? Think the answer is clear here
Yes, so true ...its really sad men who do this . LOL the learned thru time he likes the young women . Stay alert
I rather him be honest than play around. I take that any day.
Honesty means he’ll lose benefits.
It’s some men’s way of having their cake and eating it too
@@flooredjustfloored tell it!
That's to much like right
You can’t handle the truth 😂
Yes! There is honest and then there's assholes.
Yes you HIT the NAIL on the head with your #2 & #3point. As for FEMALE COMPANIONSHIP I am NOT a cuddle buddy or a temporary bus stop. Ladies LET HIM GOOOOOOO
Yes mam! Gosh, this whole video cleared up SO much for me. I was starting to kinda doubt myself (having recently walked away), but i'm so glad i went with my gut instinct and finally broke away!!
#1 Not interested right now
#2 Not over the other person. He has hope or is hurt from previous relationship
#3 He likes you a lot but does not think you are the one.
I'm going through this now. I think he is #2 and #3...
Men will tell you we just don’t listen. Believe what they say
I learned the hard way that if a man is not ready believe him and do your self the favour of walking away
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks omg!! Did you just respond to my comment. I cant believe it i have always been your ardent follower. I have learned so much from your videos and am glad am now closer to emotional healing. Keep inspiring us
exactlyyyyyy!!!!
Ladies, when a man says “it’s not you, it’s me” he is lying!!! . It is you because you are not the “one” for him. Drop that zero and move on! Don’t waste your time with a man who doesn’t have anything to offer you, let alone sees you as commitment-worthy to him. You’re worth more than trying to beg a man for a commitment. Tell him Boy bye!!!!
Love ❤️ Amen 💯 correct
Thanks
Men give you endless reasons why he doesn't want a relationship with you, AFTER he gets his way with you. Which is why I advocate for celibacy until marriage.
This chile right here, will NOT be a jump off.
You have to watch out cause a man will still marry you and use you I know cause my dad is living proof but it’s more to it then sex if a guy still marries you and use you
Ladies and Gents this is why i believe its better to stay celibate until marriage. Call it old school but I've learnt the hard way why celibacy is important it's a way of reservation dont give yourself to someone who doesnt show you they are ready to commit and willing to work it out. The right person will respect your values and integrity. Someone who is serious will make effort and be consistent. Sex is important but it goes all down the drain if you give it to the wrong person. Protect yourself first build a solid foundation with your partner and when ready ask for God's blessing on your partnership through marriage.
JenJen - I hear you. Actually, if not staying celibate, I really like the 90-day rule, but folks want to throw you under a bus if you start talking about that. I simply don't get why 90 days is so bad. If people have patience, it can really help. It's not a test for _him_ it's time for _you_ to slow down and take a good look before you give your body. But celibacy is best.
@@jdstep97 thank you for sharing your perspective and i totally get why people apply the 90day rule in their life. To be frank I dont choose to be celibate just for my sake. I choose celibacy because it's simply what God commands. And reflecting on all my past relationships I came to understand why I should always put God first before mine or anyone else's needs. At the end of the day God has our best interests heart. When we focus on being faithful to God first and stop making excuses life is much more sanctified. It's not always the easy choice coz temptation is real... but in the end I rather reap the rewards from God than from this temporary world. In my opinion 90day rule falls short of glorifying God unless of course a couple ends up getting married for all the right reasons within 90days 🤭. Everyone's timeline is different but I do believe in marriage first before sex.
@@newisthedawn i believe it too.
So true especially in this day and age. We’re sex is the main focus .
@@foxxybrown9357 yup.
Ladies don't let your standard down. Look at the sign, red flag , specially uncosistency. Let him go.. even it hurts, let him go.. let him go.
Guys, most of them won't commit because of their lives being in flux, scattered, with no sense of direction.
Thank you
Yes. It’s a lifestyle choice. They haven’t got their shit together. Most of the time, they have no guidance from family or their friends are bottom feeders like them. Addictions could surround them and that’s what they’re committed to. Avoid at all costs, they don’t change and don’t care for much in their lives.
It doesn't matter why he doesn't want a relationship what matters is us as women moving on period
Control self 💪🏾💋
Ok he say he don’t want one. But gets mad when you’re dating !
WWHY?
People do what they want to do. He's selfish and wants you around without putting forth any work or effort and you will get hurt. He'll tell you what you want to hear to manipulate you into getting what he wants. Run sis!! You deserve
better!
Very true!!! This always happens!!! They are more so mad that you got away and realize it after awhile
@@Chevonne8 so true. These guys that don't want a relationship get so petty when they see you walking away from their games. They just cause chaos. When you care about someone, committing is a way of saying you want them in your life. Not committing means they don't want you as a part of their life.
These kind of guys usually have some sort of psych problem.
I wish I could've seen this video a week ago. I broke up yesterday with a man that didn't want a true commitment when I told him from the very beginning what I wanted from the relationship. He tried to coerce me to think like him and I stood on my ground. Proud of myself, but I feel dumb I wasted my time with someone like that.
Evelyn Rendon you have done amazing . It’s super hard to walk away and sooner rather than later . Well done you .x
Nothing is wasted lesson learn you will be quicker to spot & move on next time around.
Just take it as a lesson learned. Years is when time was wasted.
@@ivanad6199 There is a period where you get tired and it dont take nobody to give you advice.
I had the same thing happen to me, Evelyn Rendon...Now, I'm holding myself until marriage, as I will not be fooled again!👊🏾
The guy I was dealing with tried to make it seem as if I was trying to pressure him into commitment when all I was asking for was the simple things. He told me I should focus on myself....and I’m doing just that ☺️☺️☺️. I refuse to be lead on or in a “situationship” with an emotionally unavailable man. Everything you said was extremely accurate. My standards are definitely higher and I know what to be cautious of in the future
Yesssss Amen!!
You spit my situationship story
Basically what I’m listening to and understanding is “some men are incredibly selfish” and the best part is later on when they discard you then they come around later talking about oh I shouldn’t have let you go blah blah blah ...
Exactly. It's always after it's 2 late. Talkin about can we talk 4 a minute.
Boy bye.
Maybe you were doing some stuff he didn't want to tell you about it. Cause most women start to argue and that's when us men leave.
If he won’t commit then he was never the man for you.
The dreaded #3 😱. So real! It took a lot to learn & finally understand I am not obligated to wait for anyone who is not ready. It's ok to walk away and risk losing a relationship that could be detrimental to you and wait for the one God has for you!
*The best love is the one that makes you a better person without changing you into someone other than yourself.*
#3 is DEEP but it’s SO REAL!
#3 Why waste a womans time? Hopefully most woman will walk away from this kind of situation or situationship! That will only lead to heartbreak.
True. I have experienced that and it hurts, trust and believe you will get over it, I did. Just let go. Ladies we have to know our worth.💕
And here I am but at first he told me he wants me to be his girl but I guess he was lying. Watch out for the liars
He's not that into you specifically.
There's alot of reasons...fear, unrealistic expectations, he got somebody on the side...the list goes on....
A lot of people both men and women don’t like to commit because they fantasize and romanticize a past relationship that didn’t work because of the human want of what we can’t have, it ruined my first relationship and it ruins a lot . I wanted to commit she didn’t and it broke me .I’m fine now because life keeps moving like a river ,stay strong everyone !! :)
He just doesn’t want you. Point blank
So u think he lied that he still want me and he still feel for me, he's 22.
''If he can't give you what you need, why give him what he wants? '' Stephan speaks
I recommend you to dr adu a man who can help you manifest,whoever you want to manifest♥️♥️♥️
He helped me restore back my relationship two days ago without delay💯💯
WhatsApp him"***
+234:814:079:9323/##
#3 😫. Dealt with this for over a year. Finally let him go... The emotional toll it takes on you is enormous.
You cant even think "you'll regret missing out on me" because he never thought of you as a loss.
I just dealt with a 43 year old like this. I gave him 2 month of my time and he just was on his not ready for a relationship, but likes the companionship and his still dealing with anxieties from his ex, I ditches him cause I won't waste my time with someone who's selfish and that broken by a ex over a year ago.
I have a plan for a future with a man and that's not God's plan for me.
No need to waste time on a selfish man when there is available genuine men praying for someone like you to be in their lives.
Walk away from a confused man always! That man will never value you.
He says he wants a relationship and eventually marriage but after five years off and on you realize he will never do that with you or anyone else.
Why? He gets to stay in control and in the power position since he was deeply hurt from his divorce when young.
I saw the signs and stayed until my self esteem grew. Thank YOU Stephan. Your videos and ladies comments here are helping me stay away from him because he always comes back. Not lettin’ him block the door anymore for a committed man!!
My video When He Comes Back To You, DO THESE 7 Things! will help you. Check it out here 👉 th-cam.com/video/pmKxUC11oTQ/w-d-xo.html 👈
I learned all this the hard way. I had to learn to love myself and during lockdown I purged that man out of my life. Believe a man when he tells you, you are a placeholder, don't waste anytime on him, there are plenty of other men who will give you a proper title. I am sure that God has a much better plans for me in the future.
'If he cant give you what you need,
why are you giving him what he wants'
EXACTLY what I needed to hear!!! After 2yrs and although I will miss him ... deleted and blocked😚😚 Thank you💙
Man it’s hard out here for a woman that’s trying to find love..real men are rare these days 😏
Because they're either taken or dead
@@emeraldgreenqueenidontplay4913 💯💯
Yes. An overwhelming majority of men in their twenties and thirties have the kind of children.
I'f he say "we just vibing" run for the hills. Because, I sure am.
I had a guy said “ I never said I wanted a relationship I just said you were a good vibe” idk wtf that means and yes he did say he wanted a relationship then said “let’s see where it goes”
This is so true! If someone really wanted you , it wouldn’t be so hard .
Yes I heard recently from someone that the one God have for you will see you and treat you as the option. Not just an option. If you sense they are playing mind games. Move on so you can keep your joy, peace, and sanity. You have to do what is best for you. Self love is key. You will NOT settle for just any and everything if you genuinely love God and self.
Ladeanna...Can you explain that? The man God has for you will treat you as an option? How does that work?
@@rd4469 I think she made a mistake. It should be a priority and not an option.
Love will always find u.. genuine love at that...better focus on building urself and ur life...aim at ur success in the meantime make urself happy and contented with and in ur achievements..real love will find u
My chest hurts 💔 this video is literally for me
Can’t have the benefits without the commitment... What about the damage that he’s done to other women it’s usually just an excuse or the other excuses... or I can’t give you what you deserve or need that’s an excuse but then he can go out/date somebody else and give them what they deserve and need that doesn’t make any sense... I agree... He’s not over one of the exes from the past... nailed it.
it’s bs... Yes it’s best not deal with him and put on your track shoes and 🏃♀️ run!
No if and buts. Listen to this message ladies. It's a wrap. 💫✨
I totally agree. We get caught up into the wrong people and the wrong things longing for a true connection.
However, we find ourselves being the missing piece to the puzzle that they never intended to place. Been there, done that. Self awareness and Self love is first and foremost before trying to place all your feelings into a lost cause... Be Blessed and Be safe!
My husband was a committed bf and is still super committed to me after 20 years.
You need to pray to meet the right guy, but it's not easy to find him.
I failed many relationships, failed a marriage, before I met my husband.
When you find him, he's definitely committed. He won't have a problem. When you talk about marriage, he won't have a problem. Then you will know he's the one for you.
Another reason could be his life's choices messed him up and he's not waking with the Lord, therefore he does not see any value in a godly relationship. I know someone like that. Even though he said he loves me and wants me to be his wife, I let him go because I could see from his choices and behavior, he was not ready. It would be a disastrous relationship.
A lot of men who don't want to commit just aren't emotionally available. They may have past experiences that they need to heal from before getting into another commitment.
And they should make that known from the beginning
@@kelliemartin36 Exactly
Sometimes you just have to let go and let God. You just have to love God first and foremost, and in turn you will love yourself. Know that you deserve better, that your feelings are valid, and that what you want matter. Don't try to control, demand, and manipulate him to do so. Part ways if you all can't see eye to eye on certain things that are very important.
If the relationship does not happen, it wasn't meant for you or he's not meant for you. Take care of you, be in a relationship with you and the Most High most of all, your Maker knows your desires, your wants and needs and He has the right man for you when it is time for you to have him.
Don't work hard to get the attention of a man, he's not it. You are the Queen. You are to be the one pursued. Get close to the All Mighty, you won't be worried about a man boy who's clearly not ready or mature enough to build with you!
It's take ALOT to"Get over" the ex that I was "IN LOVE" with I gave myself over 1 year to heal and I believe "I'm ready" but also not in a rush because I know God has a gift!
💯Mr. Stephan, You went straight in, no sugar coating.
This has been my forever morning breakfast Omg!
I'm in this very situation. I can not ask for any better eye opener. God bless you so much.
Thank you this came right on time. I praying bout this last night and boom here a video about it.
Yes I said the same!!
21 years in a relationship and no marriage. I'm thinking I wasted all these years on the wrong man, he only wants to get married when I left him 4 times.. LOL I keep getting suckered back into the relationship with false hopes,, broken promises, etc.. its very exhausting. Thankfully, I have 3 beautiful children out of it.
He won't commit but he doesn't want to let you go. That's selfish. Run from people who are into you for their ego and for selfish reasons. One day he will find someone else, marry here right under you nose. He won't care if you go insane. In the first place, he being in a relationship with you was about him and not you
The 3rd one really hit me. I recently went through that. Had to go seperate ways. She wasn't the one for me
Preach!! And women, expect that your emotional needs are just as important as his physical needs.
Great video! I was #3, but he did tell me we’d get married, but kept moving the carrot. I moved in with him believing we’d get married within the first 5 years because he wasn’t “ready” for marriage yet. 5 years became 10 years and he still wasn’t ready. I don’t want someone part way in and I certainly won’t pay the price for his ex wife. Nor will I be kept at a distance so that I “cannot get his pension”. Marriage was not the be all and end all for me but when it’s because of money, it’s a problem and I didn’t see any of the “I’m afraid of you taking my money” stuff until I had moved in. My own fault for holding out hope that it would change if I just gave it time.
A mature man heals his wounds and doesn’t make someone else pay the price for that.
This guy I was dealing with he told me that he wants to be with me but he doesn’t have anything to offer me. I appreciate his honesty but my thing is why keep bothering me if you know that you feel like you are inadequate. I would accept him fully where he is now! But I realized that he has the issues not me. 🤷🏾♀️
I ask myself the same question. Dealt with this for a year and half with someone.
he bothering you sis, cuz you were allowing it..
Shon B That’s facts looking back I was entertaining the BS!
Evelyn Rendon It’s a hot mess! And they say women are complicated lol 😂
@@Lay_Lay208 trust me too!! When we in the thick of it.. you're blind to it all.. however once you step out if it..you can see way more clearly.. but we will do better girl, I know it!
Don't just hear this word you must believe it. I have experienced this. I am thankful for my healing.
Widowed after 23 years of marriage. Oh how dating has changed. I met my ex and agreed to exclusive relationship. After several months broke it off with him over an ex. 6months later, I asked to be friends. He agreed to FWB. Since Covid, he has been a boyfriend in "ACTION". I asked for confirmation and he said we are friends and wants to continue what we have. He is now an ex. It really hurts. I'm retired and have lots of time but not interested in meeting new men. It's lonely and I remind myself it had to be done. It feels like self punishment. He treated me very well and I had my needs met, socially, physically, and sexually. Dang it's tough.😟
Belinda Rodriguez - Hang in there. Figure out exactly what you want. If you just want physical intimacy, no problem. But if you want something more, where he meets your emotional and spiritual needs, that's important, too. Know what exactly what you want and demand it. If he cannot offer that, do NOT waste your time. Do you. Better to be alone than waste time. You enjoy life and bet the best version of you, and the right man will come along worthy of your time.
I feel ya. Being alone isn't fun but a peace of mind is amazing! Be in peace and not pieces. Focus on God and He will send you your king.🙏 That's what I'm doing, in the meantime I'm working on me and getting ready for my king😊. God bless you Queen!
@@MzTinkerbell I'm doing that now. You're right sweetie.
Wow listening to this is a major eye opener it actually hurts a little 😔
A person (male or female) won't commit to someone that they aren't that interested in. Same way when women put guy in the friend zone. We make things so complicated some times...
That is why I am still single waiting on God to lead a good man in my life. I dont have time for mind games and back forth. You was so right in this video. I know people that is going thru this right now. I had to share this video with them. Thanks Stephan for your wisdom. God is really using you to help us all.
Well this just hurt my feelings. But I needed to hear it
This is super legit!! I was searching for answers of ‚why he can‘t commit to me’ and this video hit me hard...I waited for him almost 1 year that maybe he can change his mind, but it didnt happened. I finally had the courage to leave him. It‘s hard but i‘m trying my best to move on. Lesson learned: don‘t settle for anything less.
Trust ! Some also settle for what they think they deserve 🤷🏻♀️
People think im full of shit when i say i dont want to commit. Even if a celebrity hit me up I still wouldnt. Its just not what I want. And because you put that point in there you get a like sir
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I really respect the fact you took your time out to break tha chain some females are lost and get talked dwn on instead if helping break tha chain 💪🏾💯 God Bless You
Let him chase and chase and chase us and treat us as princess. All we have to do is taking care of ourselves. Focus on our career. Put yourself first. Why should we give in untill he kneel down and ask our hand.Ladies take good care of your heart.
Mannnnn....Stephan I’m finna(Ebonics lol) block you 😂 Every since I found your page you been all in my head 😂 I went along w/that for almost 8 years;( I finally got tired and end it! Him: I changed my mind I’m ready? Me: I changed mind too I’m over it lol Been apart for two years no contact! No communication! No nothing and I’m beyond ecstatic 🤩 Ladies: Don’t allow yourself to be strung along. Change the direction of the pulling and cut the STRING😉
U spoke💯 percent truth my brother 🙌🏾👏🏾
Great message. I want to believe that most men want to commit, but it seems that because so many of us women settle for giving relationship benefits without the commitment and so these men are running around having their cake and eating it too..Seems to me that there is little incentive for many men to settle. Wish daring was a little easier:
Whew!!! I JUST got rid of a long term off and on man! I feel soooooo FREE!!!!
I respect is 100%, and this made so much sense to me. But the part that really bugged me is the fact that men “ still want female presence/ intimacy “ even if he doesn’t want commitment. This feels like the honest reality but that definitely sucks and I wish ppl take the time to heal and stop leading others on. Nevertheless thank you Stephan! I adore and respect u so much for helping us woman, esp those that don’t have genuine male figures in their life
I'm so happy. I did everything right. I don't think I can be friends. It's too hard. Now, I will avoid him. Thank you
Stephan I agree with all your points, but you missed out an important one.. HE wants to secretly sleep around because he's on games..
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Very true, ...as sad as it sounds. We should not waste our time, with men who do not deserve or appreciate it. The sooner we part ways, the better. Loved the cup of tea example.... thanks Stephan
People keep on ignoring soul ties..
Time is precious I just don’t have it to give.
SPOT ON!!! True FACTS!
Time is not replaceable and it flies by....
This was absolutely excellent! 👏🙌👏
Another reason men won't commit (especially in a case where children are involved) is that responsibility / engagement moves from being optional to required.
Thank you so much for this!! You hit the nail on the head! Embarrassed to say I've been dealing with this for almost two years, he infact did tell me more than once, and I didn't listen, and thought I could change his mind. To top it off he was good to me and my children, but that all falls short with no commitment. This will be ending today, and it's no coincidence that I came across this video. It is heartbreaking, but this mama of 3 will bounce back stronger than ever!!
I mean.. you’re a single mother of 3.. I’d be hesitant to commit as well- you didn’t have the leverage in this scenario. Hope it ended okay
I agree with you Stephan. I had to share this video with my friend. I try to give her the same advice. Don't give up your body, mind and soul to a man who does not want a relationship with you. I refuse to waste my time with any lame. I will appreciate your advice. Your book the man god has for you I have read it twice. Its a very good book. You are awesome!!!
Damn a lot of clarity was made for me in this video. It's time to get real, honest, upfront, and ask direct questions do you want me yes or no, do you want a relationship yes or no. Its just like asking what do you like to eat, your favorite color, activities, what did you study in college if you attended. It shouldn't be that complicated to get an answer. If you can't answer the question ladies or gentlemen you're not ready for a committed relationship. Walk away and keep on goin until you get to the right person, place ,and time.
Number three is a heartbreaker but very true 😢. Thanks I enjoyed reading all your comments. Wishing you all much love and luck.