Amen. Older people have been through all the cheerleading self-help stuff in their 30s and 40s and realized it’s like chasing a paper dragon. When you have older people on, they give another perspective and wisdom that the younger people don’t know about.
Great video! Unfortunately, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, and I still love him deeply. I can't stop thinking about him. I've done everything I can to get him back, but nothing has worked. I'm frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my best efforts, I can't get him out of my mind. I really miss him.
It's incredibly hard to let go of someone you love. I was in a similar situation when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't let him go, so I did everything I could to get him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who assisted me in reuniting with him.
Most of these debates won't even be necessary if we know what marriage or relationship entails. "Two people, coming together to become ONE". The success of one, means the success of the entire family. Nonetheless, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship. There are no formulas to these things. What works for Adam might not work for peter. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago my wife and I were on the brink of a divorce because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it!
Is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things....
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
How does this work when artificial wombs are released and men realize they don't need women at all anymore for early survival? Why put in the effort when we no longer truly need them for anything?
It's patently codependent to give up your identity and individuality for a relationship. You do not "become one" in healthy partnerships. Also, never listen to a man lecture about relationships and how they "got through their difficulties." Men always think things are fine as long as the relationship is working for THEM. For all we know, she could have stayed because she didn't have an exit strategy together yet and be on her way out. If you want to know whether a couple "worked through a bad phase," *ask the woman.*
My father was the one who came to me when I had nightmares, qhen I had mental problems and connecting with people was not happening. Mother did not do that . Oh yeah he was my foster dad .till the day he died he helped the kids of my birth town. Raised drunkards from the streets to stand up. It was not my mom who kept relationships going. Funny how even in the best of podcasts in the beginning it started with" women take care of relationship and so divorces and bad things are brought up by women". How about do we ever hear girls/women take INITIAL responsibility of relationship feeling bad. And I am not talking about abuse, drugs, alcohol etc crap. Just the basic relationship issues beginning in the mind. And secondly do we grow boys initially to become wanted and capable husbands or just some one to throw dirt on and become a blaming bag
I'm asking the same question as well, is the society raising women to learn to be happy and to take care of the wellbeing of their men? Women have this entitlement feeling that they are so special and it's the men's job to take care of them but it's not their job to take care of men. A woman can create all these problems in the relationship and that's normal but the moment it's man who's asking to be understood then she labells him as toxic. In most of my relationships I've tried to use women's own tactics against them by making everything all about myself and my needs, and not surprisingly not a single one of them can stand it. Yet this is the exact attitude 90% of men are having to deal with everyday
Sam Vaknin is a man and psychologist and he says that women file for divorce more often, 60 percent, because their narcissistic husbands have a great reason to not file for divorce yet they want to have sexual liberation and relationships with many women, so he doesn´t want to divorce for some status reasons in his company etc, but he pushes her so much that she has no other choice but to file for divorce.
Women bring up 80% of the issues in relationships and initiate 80% of divorces. Gee, it's almost like there's a straight line from bringing up the issues, not getting any response, change, or caring from their partners, to finally walking away. It sounds a lot like only 20% of men are showing up like participating adults in their relationships.
Communication and relationship skills are key. Especially conflict resolution skills. Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO The Seven Principles Of Making A Marriage Work by John and Julie Gottman
Women bring up 80% of the issues in relationships and initiate 80% of divorces. Gee, it's almost like there's a straight line from bringing up the issues, not getting any response, change, or caring from their partners, to finally walking away. It sounds a lot like only 20% of men are showing up like participating adults in their relationships.
Thank you for modeling healthy communication. Some people are used to toxicity and mediocrity, they’re okay with living beneath their spiritual and emotional means.
I love how you exert effort to think, to be sincere and to invite awesome guests on your show. I have too much pride and hate when people criticize me, but I think it may be of benefit to your, your team and show to create a new interior design. It may be costly and to some degree unnecessary, but I think Joe Rogan's futuristic interior design and and Rich Roll's minimalist set up could be some good reference, but ultimately you gotta do you and your vibe, whatever that is.... but we all need to make an update here and there with time. Thanks for all the awesome talks! I appreciate your efforts to provide awesome podcasts on youtube! Thank you!
There is the tacit assumption that men are 80% of the problem because women bring up 80% of the issues. That's my only reservation. Otherwise, it's true that much of the problem is caused by miscommunication and misunderstanding what is said. Some problems can never be solved if one of the parties is narcissistic, sociopathic or histrionic. Communication can work, I believe, as long as neither partner has a dark triad personality. I'll remember to ask for clarification, when there is a conflict; that's solid advice.
Women bring up 80% of the issues in relationships and initiate 80% of divorces. Gee, it's almost like there's a straight line from bringing up the issues, not getting any response, change, or caring from their partners, to finally walking away. It sounds a lot like only 20% of men are showing up like participating adults in their relationships.
@@worldadventuretravel Gee, it can be that men are 80% of the problem or that women are 80% more picky in their standards. Every stat can be interpreted any way you want to fit your prior assumptions.
If ANYONE is bringing up issues constantly then maybe that person just can’t be satisfied. They need to touch on unhealthy people who try to hide under the guise of “I care about our relationship” when really they are just personality disordered and no matter what you do they can’t be happy.
Women bring up 80% of the issues in relationships and initiate 80% of divorces. Gee, it's almost like there's a straight line from bringing up the issues, not getting any response, change, or caring from their partners, to finally walking away. It sounds a lot like only 20% of men are showing up like participating adults in their relationships.
Women start conflict 80% of the time. Women: conflict is good, is actually great to complain 😅. That’s like asking a weapons manufacturer if war is good. 😅
This is a clip rather than the whole conversation, but just because someone feels something is a problem doesn’t mean they should just open their mouths. Feelings are not necessarily reality. Nurturing nature is all fine and good but is not the eternal state humans exist in. I am a male, felt very close to my mum when I was young, obviously because of her nurturing nature. Dad was strict, he could have a laugh but was a serious man. Only as a man, does my father’s lessons make sense, and if I could live forever those lessons would stay with me forever. Nurture brings you so far but the lessons of a father last forever.
Sorry I do not agree….. if there are healthy people in the relationship sure this might work. Both people have to want the relationship for the right reason . Let’s start there. I guess this is for healthy couples with communication issues only.
A relationship isn't healthy by default. You (both the party) need to work hard to make it healthy. So what they said here is one of the many things you can do to ascertain that you have a healthy relationship.
Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg PhD The most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself. I've Scanned 250,000 Brains This Is Really How Men Think - Dr Daniel Amen and Lisa Biyeu The Mask You Live In Documentary
you just can't maintain the ability to have deep conversations (which our wives want) if you set traps and have lengthy memories of every offence. You get precisely the opposite.
men think SEXUAL ACTIVITY is making EVERYTHING better witch actually is NOT . There is a box in the divorce paper called ….IRREVOCABLE DIFFERENCES for a reason .
So 80% of relationship problems are the man's fault, ok. Now the question becomes how does a woman agree to be in a relationship with someone that they have so many issues with? The second question is, are women perfect within relationships?
Facts > opinions. Women bring up 80% of the issues in relationships and initiate 80% of divorces. Gee, it's almost like there's a straight line from bringing up the issues, not getting any response, change, or caring from their partners, to finally walking away. It sounds a lot like only 20% of men are showing up like participating adults in their relationships. *Meanwhile,* single childfree women are statistically the happiest and longest-living demographic in the world, while simultaneously there's a worldwide male loneliness epidemic and population decline.*
Women raised to be nurturing? Does anyone here actually know a nurturing woman their age or younger? I’m talking to people my age and younger - I’m 46.
I am 52 and extremely nurturing and yes I was raised that way and haven't allowed anyone or anything change that because it is a valuable trait. The world needs more of that
@@leighbotts9694 Maybe, but it seems like relationships with women comes with a lot of problems. Never ever have I had any of my male friends have an issue with how we connect or treat each other. Women on the other hand, it's a nightmare. Work is stressful enough, my home life doesn't need to be just as frustrating.
Agreed. Men: Honey, what is going on? Woman: nothing. Women expect us to be mind readers when they need something or when they are not feeling well. There is a video where a guy was asked to decode the between the lines of what a women says to a man; they guy was very accurate, but we are not trained to do that.
Mm what a load of crap, slaking bro ,man is to blame for everything that is what she is alluding to ,I bet if you put that poor man on a lie detector and asked him are you happy
Full episode here - th-cam.com/video/mS3bfCt0K88/w-d-xo.html
I love it when you have older people as your guests. Thank you.
Amen. Older people have been through all the cheerleading self-help stuff in their 30s and 40s and realized it’s like chasing a paper dragon. When you have older people on, they give another perspective and wisdom that the younger people don’t know about.
Mature people ❤
Anything you do in a business meeting will fail in a relationship
The Gottman"s are awesome. Wife and I attended one of their weekend conferences several years ago and it really helped us communicate better.
Great video! Unfortunately, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, and I still love him deeply. I can't stop thinking about him. I've done everything I can to get him back, but nothing has worked. I'm frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my best efforts, I can't get him out of my mind. I really miss him.
It's incredibly hard to let go of someone you love. I was in a similar situation when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't let him go, so I did everything I could to get him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who assisted me in reuniting with him.
That's amazing! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I reach him?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can help bring your ex back
Thank you for this valuable information! I just looked him up online, and he seems impressive.
The Gottman's are rock stars. I love them.
Most of these debates won't even be necessary if we know what marriage or relationship entails. "Two people, coming together to become ONE". The success of one, means the success of the entire family. Nonetheless, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship. There are no formulas to these things. What works for Adam might not work for peter. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago my wife and I were on the brink of a divorce because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it!
Is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things....
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I will look her up online right now.... I hope this works for me too
How does this work when artificial wombs are released and men realize they don't need women at all anymore for early survival? Why put in the effort when we no longer truly need them for anything?
It's patently codependent to give up your identity and individuality for a relationship. You do not "become one" in healthy partnerships. Also, never listen to a man lecture about relationships and how they "got through their difficulties." Men always think things are fine as long as the relationship is working for THEM. For all we know, she could have stayed because she didn't have an exit strategy together yet and be on her way out. If you want to know whether a couple "worked through a bad phase," *ask the woman.*
My father was the one who came to me when I had nightmares, qhen I had mental problems and connecting with people was not happening. Mother did not do that . Oh yeah he was my foster dad .till the day he died he helped the kids of my birth town. Raised drunkards from the streets to stand up. It was not my mom who kept relationships going. Funny how even in the best of podcasts in the beginning it started with" women take care of relationship and so divorces and bad things are brought up by women". How about do we ever hear girls/women take INITIAL responsibility of relationship feeling bad. And I am not talking about abuse, drugs, alcohol etc crap. Just the basic relationship issues beginning in the mind. And secondly do we grow boys initially to become wanted and capable husbands or just some one to throw dirt on and become a blaming bag
Apparently we do…
I'm asking the same question as well, is the society raising women to learn to be happy and to take care of the wellbeing of their men? Women have this entitlement feeling that they are so special and it's the men's job to take care of them but it's not their job to take care of men. A woman can create all these problems in the relationship and that's normal but the moment it's man who's asking to be understood then she labells him as toxic. In most of my relationships I've tried to use women's own tactics against them by making everything all about myself and my needs, and not surprisingly not a single one of them can stand it. Yet this is the exact attitude 90% of men are having to deal with everyday
Sam Vaknin is a man and psychologist and he says that women file for divorce more often, 60 percent, because their narcissistic husbands have a great reason to not file for divorce yet they want to have sexual liberation and relationships with many women, so he doesn´t want to divorce for some status reasons in his company etc, but he pushes her so much that she has no other choice but to file for divorce.
This is really really good. Thank you all for doing this interview ... and Gottmans, for your great work to help couples.
More older couples please, they’re so easy to listen to
I love listening to them talk and hearing their colloquialisms. Older psychiatrist types are the most calming people to listen to.
Yeah and 90% of issues are brought by quality assurance and audit teams. Doesn’t mean it’s not valid issues.
Someone's defensive.
No but plenty of things are just red tape & subjective too. An issue for you based on your preferences doesn't equal an issue to someone else.
Women bring up 80% of the issues in relationships and initiate 80% of divorces. Gee, it's almost like there's a straight line from bringing up the issues, not getting any response, change, or caring from their partners, to finally walking away. It sounds a lot like only 20% of men are showing up like participating adults in their relationships.
I hope your advice to women is don’t get married.
She is preaching. She is well balanced.
80% problem solving opportunity for men
That’s what women hate, we try to problem solve everything.
All of which are not acceptable for women
Women cannot take any accountability for their words or actions. So it's always the men's fault. 😂
Communication and relationship skills are key. Especially conflict resolution skills.
Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO
The Seven Principles Of Making A Marriage Work by John and Julie Gottman
Women bring up 80% of the issues in relationships and initiate 80% of divorces. Gee, it's almost like there's a straight line from bringing up the issues, not getting any response, change, or caring from their partners, to finally walking away. It sounds a lot like only 20% of men are showing up like participating adults in their relationships.
Thank you for modeling healthy communication. Some people are used to toxicity and mediocrity, they’re okay with living beneath their spiritual and emotional means.
7:05 they starting nodding their head equally 😂😂
I love how you exert effort to think, to be sincere and to invite awesome guests on your show. I have too much pride and hate when people criticize me, but I think it may be of benefit to your, your team and show to create a new interior design. It may be costly and to some degree unnecessary, but I think Joe Rogan's futuristic interior design and and Rich Roll's minimalist set up could be some good reference, but ultimately you gotta do you and your vibe, whatever that is.... but we all need to make an update here and there with time. Thanks for all the awesome talks! I appreciate your efforts to provide awesome podcasts on youtube! Thank you!
There is the tacit assumption that men are 80% of the problem because women bring up 80% of the issues. That's my only reservation. Otherwise, it's true that much of the problem is caused by miscommunication and misunderstanding what is said. Some problems can never be solved if one of the parties is narcissistic, sociopathic or histrionic. Communication can work, I believe, as long as neither partner has a dark triad personality. I'll remember to ask for clarification, when there is a conflict; that's solid advice.
Bingo
Exactly
Women bring up 80% of the issues in relationships and initiate 80% of divorces. Gee, it's almost like there's a straight line from bringing up the issues, not getting any response, change, or caring from their partners, to finally walking away. It sounds a lot like only 20% of men are showing up like participating adults in their relationships.
@@worldadventuretravel Gee, it can be that men are 80% of the problem or that women are 80% more picky in their standards. Every stat can be interpreted any way you want to fit your prior assumptions.
If ANYONE is bringing up issues constantly then maybe that person just can’t be satisfied. They need to touch on unhealthy people who try to hide under the guise of “I care about our relationship” when really they are just personality disordered and no matter what you do they can’t be happy.
Women bring up 80% of the issues in relationships and initiate 80% of divorces. Gee, it's almost like there's a straight line from bringing up the issues, not getting any response, change, or caring from their partners, to finally walking away. It sounds a lot like only 20% of men are showing up like participating adults in their relationships.
Exactly.
This couple is AMAZING ❤ !
Women start conflict 80% of the time. Women: conflict is good, is actually great to complain 😅.
That’s like asking a weapons manufacturer if war is good. 😅
This is a clip rather than the whole conversation, but just because someone feels something is a problem doesn’t mean they should just open their mouths. Feelings are not necessarily reality. Nurturing nature is all fine and good but is not the eternal state humans exist in. I am a male, felt very close to my mum when I was young, obviously because of her nurturing nature. Dad was strict, he could have a laugh but was a serious man. Only as a man, does my father’s lessons make sense, and if I could live forever those lessons would stay with me forever. Nurture brings you so far but the lessons of a father last forever.
Sorry I do not agree….. if there are healthy people in the relationship sure this might work. Both people have to want the relationship for the right reason . Let’s start there. I guess this is for healthy couples with communication issues only.
A relationship isn't healthy by default. You (both the party) need to work hard to make it healthy. So what they said here is one of the many things you can do to ascertain that you have a healthy relationship.
Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg PhD
The most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself.
I've Scanned 250,000 Brains This Is Really How Men Think - Dr Daniel Amen and Lisa Biyeu
The Mask You Live In Documentary
The most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself.
It is but marriage counselors can’t help but throw out false hope. It’s how they make their money.
You cant be the source of the problems in ur relationship 80% of the time, if you aren’t in a relationship 🤔🧐
you just can't maintain the ability to have deep conversations (which our wives want) if you set traps and have lengthy memories of every offence. You get precisely the opposite.
Change the laws
men think SEXUAL ACTIVITY is making EVERYTHING better witch actually is NOT . There is a box in the divorce paper called ….IRREVOCABLE DIFFERENCES for a reason .
So 80% of relationship problems are the man's fault, ok. Now the question becomes how does a woman agree to be in a relationship with someone that they have so many issues with? The second question is, are women perfect within relationships?
I'm sorry but the husband here just seems defeated to me
Yea, the husband comes across as a simp in this video. It's clear to me that the wife is the real boss in this relationship.
That's not what they said. ❤
Facts > opinions. Women bring up 80% of the issues in relationships and initiate 80% of divorces. Gee, it's almost like there's a straight line from bringing up the issues, not getting any response, change, or caring from their partners, to finally walking away. It sounds a lot like only 20% of men are showing up like participating adults in their relationships. *Meanwhile,* single childfree women are statistically the happiest and longest-living demographic in the world, while simultaneously there's a worldwide male loneliness epidemic and population decline.*
"I was raised in a house of WOMEN!!"
And do you like and respect them?
@@sherriflemming3218 th-cam.com/video/GQ2BXqST758/w-d-xo.htmlsi=kTDx7T87lvdx3N5c&t=48
Do they respect him? I’m sure he loves them by protection and a list of other things but do they heed his advice and etc
Women raised to be nurturing? Does anyone here actually know a nurturing woman their age or younger? I’m talking to people my age and younger - I’m 46.
They are at first until you're locked in
Nope
I am 52 and extremely nurturing and yes I was raised that way and haven't allowed anyone or anything change that because it is a valuable trait. The world needs more of that
Where is her notebook?
Brilliant Drs
Notice how the husband is defeated and does all the work to resolve the conflict and submits to her emotionality. Never take this weak man’s advice.
😂😂😂
Notice how she masterfully never holds the women accountable
Yes! Awesome observation. Like Jack Nicholson says in the movie As Good As It Gets "A woman is a man without reason and accountability" 😂
I like the topic, but these two kind guests are viewing matters a bit onesided and in the box.
Rules of conflict engagement
man this woman is a nightmare. filling up a yellow notepad with problems in one sitting is insane.
You sound authoritarian? Maam youre attracted to that even if it makes you feel bad
You got to love the simp-licity 😂
Does she have a notebook
That guy needs a medal listening to that dragon for years.
But then again he’s also weak as piss that’s why he’s putting up with that crap.
😂 😂
😂😂😂 you guys makes me laugh
I miss what women need to do.
Listen again when you’re less defensive and you’ll hear that they gave gender neutral advice as well as gender specific advice.
@@leighbotts9694 in my opinion it was very biased but you are right, I should relisten.
@@leighbotts9694 I agree with you, all I heard is how he fixed the relationship but she fixed the way she addressed him and her problems
@@leighbotts9694 Maybe, but it seems like relationships with women comes with a lot of problems. Never ever have I had any of my male friends have an issue with how we connect or treat each other. Women on the other hand, it's a nightmare. Work is stressful enough, my home life doesn't need to be just as frustrating.
@@KobraSnake0813 well perhaps you should be true to yourself and start dating males. They seem to make you more happy.
No sht.
They seem to rely on "feelings" WAY to much. Feelings AREN'T facts! Let's work to drill down on the logic of the situation.
🤘
Agreed. Men: Honey, what is going on? Woman: nothing. Women expect us to be mind readers when they need something or when they are not feeling well. There is a video where a guy was asked to decode the between the lines of what a women says to a man; they guy was very accurate, but we are not trained to do that.
You must be a thief these days to have a wife.
😜🤪so its til ems fault
Poor bloke sat their defeated like a simp 🤣
Mm what a load of crap, slaking bro ,man is to blame for everything that is what she is alluding to ,I bet if you put that poor man on a lie detector and asked him are you happy
It’s called being in a happy healthy functioning relationship…. There is always give and take in life… Clearly you wouldn’t know
@@user-lt1jd1ye3v you didn't address his point
@@thrilla72she’s a girl. They don’t respond with valid and logical points. They mock, shame and guilt men and themselves into submission
She’s a woman. They don’t come up with valid logical points. The mock, shame and guilt men and themselves into submission.
@@thrilla72 She’s a wamen. They don’t come up with valid logical points. The mock, shame and guilt men and themselves into submission.