How to Negotiate ANYTHING Like a Pro - The REAL Art of Negotiation with Chris Voss
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ก.ค. 2019
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Like it or not, we’re always negotiating in life. You’re either negotiating on where to eat with your loved ones or negotiating with potential clients to choose you as their real estate agent.
On today’s Tom Ferry Podcast Experience, my guest is Chris Voss, former FBI negotiator, CEO & founder of the Black Swan Group Ltd as well as author of “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As if Your Life Depended on It.”
Chris shares his experience as the lead international kidnapping negotiator and how it relates to negotiating in the real estate sector.
He provides insightful tips on how to present yourself as the expert agent, how to differentiate between fake and real opportunities, and when to walk away from a good deal with bad people.
I’m also excited to share what you can expect from his keynote for this year’s Success Summit, including how to negotiate with clients and easy-to-use negotiation tactics!
Learn more on the blog: tfi.media/2JqgQFb
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You are advised that any Information provided on this podcast is not legal advice. Ferry International assumes no responsibility for consequences resulting from the use of the Information. Some of the Information may be outdated or not consistent with current law.
In this episode we talk about…
1:54 - Who is Chris Voss?
3:13 - Chris shares his 24 years of experience as an FBI negotiator
4:40 - How much time do you have to hold someone’s attention and keep it? Chris opens up about how he negotiated a kidnapping case in Haiti.
10:00 - “All you need to do is know the market and show your knowledge.”
10:46 - Chris talks about how to convince buyers/sellers to choose you over your competitors
11:57 - Find out what’s the sustainable competitive advantage that will set you apart
12:53 - Chris answers your questions and shares how you can negotiate successfully
15:43 - Don’t be mean to people or they might give you decaf
17:16 - Chris shares how to negotiate with people to get on your team and collaborate to solve problems
18:43 - Learn why 20% of your opportunities are fake opportunities
20:06 - Chris tells you how you can avoid those 20% fake opportunities
23:33 - Avoid these sales techniques that turn off potential clients
25:00 - “Focus on how people tell you what they want”
25:41 - Chris spills the beans on how to negotiate successfully through email
30:14 - Know the secret to telling the truth without being confrontational through email
33:12 - “People don’t have time for people who waste their time.”
34:10 - Avoid making your clients wonder when they’ll hear from you by having a playbook of when to call them
37:10 - Discover the 2 reasons why your buyers or sellers have stopped responding to you
40:00 - Chris shares what to say when your clients have stopped responding
42:38 - Pros make their money by being empathetic with EVERYONE - even the clients you don’t like.
44:34 - There’s no irrational client, they just have predictable patterns and learn how to avoid confrontation
47:25 - Chris shares the phrase you need to use when being empathetic with clients and the words to steer clear of
50:52 - Chris provides insightful advice when to walk away from a negotiation with a client
53:10 - Know how to decipher what clients say they want, what they really want and what’s really possible
55:39 - Chris tells you the question you need to ask your clients before doing business with them
57:38 - It’s not about how many deals you’ve done, it’s about establishing yourself as an expert
58:56 - Get ready to deep dive about negotiation tactics at Chris’ Summit keynote
1:00:46 - Learn about the negotiation tactic that applies to being a successful real estate agent
1:02:44 - When you build rapport, you have to be intentional on your voice tone, pacing, and inflection
1:04:48 - Learn how to motivate a buyer to make an offer without giving up negotiation to your seller
1:09:23 - “No matter the circumstances, you’re always working through people to affect the decision makers or deal killers.”
1:14:01 - Chris explains why his son might be an even better negotiator than him.
1:17:50 - Text and subscribe to Chris Voss’ negotiation newsletters and practice his advice
it's interesting to learn that life is full of negotiating from being a consultant to a mother or spouse at home. Trust is the best part of the negotiation, by giving your client frequent feedback.
Love this guy!!! Lol
I just wrote an email to a client ..".have you given up working with me..." Havent heard back in about 5 attempts ( 1 to 2 months) before this...She goes" no we havent found what we want ...keep them coming".. took 2 minutes according to the email for her to respond!! WOW.
Thanks for the breakdown. You earned a new follower today! Love Chris's Voss
@@jasonthieme8926 So whataya... wanna do now??"
HOLY CRAP THIS MAN IS A GENIUS! So, while I'm watching this I tried his tactics on a ghosted customer and had a response back from this within minutes. I'm so buying his book!
Its a great book and i use his tactics all the time
I don't know if this is on purpose, (my first time watching this podcast), but seems like too much cutting off the guest and interjecting by the host.
Get the Book!! Off the chain!
You know Chris Voss is a really interesting person when in every interview he has there's people complaining about not letting him talk enough.
@Tom Ferry... without your engagement and questioning Chris Voss's style of conversation would put some to sleep. You balanced that equation, you keep both sides of the brain active for observers. Keep the great work going. Great wealth, wisdom, health and clarity be with you at all times. In fact around 48 minutes into the video I think Chris Voss began to really enjoy the conversation and became more free and loose.
For those who care, here you go, you are welcome:
14:45 - ideal times to contact customers in RE.
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17:35- beginning focal point of negotiation regarding the other party favoring you.
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20:06- How to find good long term partners that are not there for unethical usury.
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21:40- How to simply turn down a partner you have cross examined equitably.
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22:10-Two simple things you must ask YOURSELF when seeking business partner. RE or otherwise.
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24:00- 'Yes', is not final. Focus on HOW people tell you things, not WHAT: incite positive emotions in the other party, by asking, this allows them to share more information and build Trust.
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25:45: Less is more. One move at a time. Ancient commerce principle... KISS(Keep it short and simple, learn the art of shutting the fvck up)
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27:10: Emailing- Keep positive impression toward end. Initial positivity brings guard up in the mind.The brain remembers what it observes last.
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30:10- When you have bad news, ask then HOW it can be fixed, be solution oriented. Do not seek or give information, trigger thought toward solution and make comparison of solutions.
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33:00- Your process and everything ought to be geared toward progress.
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33:45- Don't leave your clients in the dark. The unknown brings about fear. Alleviate this from your clients by giving them time frame of when they will hear from you. Even if you simply contact to tell them nothing happens, or if you call just to chat for 30 seconds to update them. They become more involved, more willing to bend to your need. This also builds trust and shows your ethical business dealings.
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38:10- Why people stops responding: 1. No progress, 2. they aren't being listened to, 3. you are doing too much pitching. 4. They simply naturally are losing power and are embarrassed.
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39:20- Solution to people stop responding.
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39:45- Stop pitching, summarize situation from their perspective, by verbalizing their affirmed feelings. THEN stfu.
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40:55- People love to correct, let them do this, it makes them comfortable with you, and they show truthfulness and it teaches you where to take the negotiation to
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41:53- Empathy is all about the other side's perspective, don't limit it to who you only like. This is how you become pro and make money.
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43:00- When the other party is unsettled, show them you understand,Learn to verbatim... ask them.. ''what do you want to do now''... Empathy. If it does not work. learn to move on. It is commerce and business.
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44:14- What we consider rationality is just our own opinion and is subject to each parties conditioning of what rationality is, or is not. Don't rely on your perception of what you think rationality is. Instead, look for PATTERNS based on what they care about. Everyone has predictable patterns.
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45:45- What is empathy in negotiation.... the other parties perception, and NOTHING TO DO WITH REALITY. Use the tool.
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47:15- What to do when you fvcked up a deal. Be forthcoming by way of the other parties perspective, without retaining liability.
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48:00- You dont have to have compassion to express it and utilize it.
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48:20- there is a fine line between manipulating and utilizing compassion.
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48:50- Know that your clients do not want to know you are sorry, because it is not solution oriented. Use 'you' less, it is a conversational jab. pronouns and personifications can be easily misunderstood..... basically language is a motherfvcker.
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51:25- Walk away from good deals with bad people. The people involved will screw it up for you sooner or later, no matter how good the deal may appear.
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52:20- Everyone is always holding something back because it will influence outcome. Always know that, and always seek to assit the other party get that out.
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53:25: Be in-differential. This allows the hidden to be revealed. Often the other party knows something they are not aware is actually important.
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54:00- Body language is useless where the other party is unaware of certain underlying substance in a conversation. So focus on YOUR OWN ability to LISTEN AND PROCESS information.
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55:30- Ask questions with a genuine tone of voice.... slowly... pause.... continue.
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56:50- it is not how many deals you have done, it is how good you are at it.
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57:24- People rely on experts first before sales people.
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1:00:10- Situation drives strategy... so hear them out.. LISTEN TO THEM!!! It calms them out very fast and built trust.
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1:01:25- Your clients also have learning curve, listening t them assist this learning curve to favor you.
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1:04:30- Scarcity drives decisions in everything. It will motivate your clients. BUT don't use it carelessly, people will push back. N prudent.
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1:05:35- Empathy precedes assertion/assertiveness. Contrary to mundane view of confidence or being alpha....Tactical empathy makes you more assertive. Be wise, this is business.
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1:08:20- When you use fear of loss and scarcity, you must first understand what they need.
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1:09:00- Be uniform in intent with your counterparts. Use genuine curiosity to express your points, via tone of voice.
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1:11:30- make your move one at a time. Chess is a bad analogy for negotiation. Negotiations are web of attention based on decision making. The board is highly mutable. Don't be naive in a negotiation.
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1:17:30- Paraphrase other sides perspective and reaction BEFORE revealing yours.. practice it, and you will see how much thier precocious mind likes your conscious actions.
Overall- Pay attention to personalized keywords used by the other party, and be true to your own self.
My personal opinion:
1. Learn how hypnosis works, and you'd be comfortable with 'negotiation'. It is used against you everyday, you should know how to negate it's negative effects (There are those who use it positively -very few-, it's a double edge sword) and utilize it ethically.
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2. Leann to slow down and think as you speak, you don't have to rush things to come across as competent. Speaking fast doesn't make you smart.. I mean listen to Chriss Voss... look at the dude... he looks high the whole time and speaks as though he is high.... ssllllooowwww ddooooowwwwnnnn.
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3. Breath, pay close attention to successful people when they speak.. they breath in....... ALOT before speaking.. Your breath is pure life force you pull information ...literally from the air... Use it.. It is well known in the ancient world and currently... It is an in built tool you have easy access to. Use.
I could listen to Mr.Voss for days off n end. Such a huge source of information about human interaction. His voice and ability to lead with tone and tempo is top notch! I'm constantly annoyed that people don't listen!!!! Shut up and let them talk. It works great on dates too. People tell on themselves all the time.
WOW! I litterally had a client ghost me for 2 months after I dropped off $1,500ish worth of product to install. I tried to get ahold of him many times with no results. I texted the suggested "have you given up on working with me?" I got a text back in less than 3 min.
This one email subject line is a game changer
Absolute gold dust. I had to 2 clients that were ghosting me and Chris's advice worked brilliantly. Just sent a text asking if they had given up working with me and received a positive response immediately. Love it!
I love Mr. Voss, but after slogging through 18 minutes of the host's "yeahs", "mmhmms", and other interjections, there was no way I could finish.
Dude you gotta stop interrupting this genius
I saw your comment and I just moved on, thx
Thank you. This was the comment I came for. That, and please watch how much you say "yup" "mhm" or whatever over and over while Chris talks. We get it, you agree.
Yeah. Really annoying
Yep, uhhum
Grand risings. Amazing how instantly one can feel that. Lol.
Wish you didn't cut him off while he was going over avoiding the "I'm sorry" manipulation, he was going somewhere with that!
I know, right. Let the guy speak. Geez, what is up with constant 2 cents?
@@artmelnikov6504 Tom Ferry is on the hyper end. And they probably had a time limit but still. Everything Chris says should be heard and it was something I hadn't heard him go over before.
With a statement like "I'm sorry you feel I let you down" what the other person hears in their head is
- you're wrong
- I feel sorry for you (for being wrong)
1. It's not an actual apology. If it were, that would be fine.
2. It's not empathy (understanding).
3. It is, at best, an expression of sympathy (pity), and only bums want to be pitied. Likely without even realizing it, it's essentially calling them a bum.
4. Manipulators use this, clumsily, to be condescending.
Until I read the comments, I did not notice Tom's 'interruptions' since I listen to such a high volume of podcasts. To start, you have to understand the difference between a freeform podcast and a 60 Minutes interview on CBS on Sunday night. At a minimum I listen to 2-3 per day, and specifically love to learn methods of experts in different fields and find commonalities. I found a vast amount of value in this video and will be listening to both of you more often!
This is the best book that I have read in the last 3 years. Chris Voss is amazing.
I don’t know who you are Tom, but I wish you’d learn to be a little more facilitative in the interview (ironically, you could use some of the things Chris was talking about - mirroring, better open-ended questions). Nevertheless thanks for putting it up and organising more of Chris’ content in a different context.
Nobody cares what you know until they know that you care. Great show!
Tom, i understand you're trying to make an informative and interesting video about an important topic for people to watch and enjoy. You seem really passionate about your work and you want to show people that you interview that you're following them and distill the information for the audience. But i really want to hear what your interviewee has to say without interruptions. So how can we make that work?
1 hour and 19 minutes of pure gold. Thank you Chris. Thank you Tom.
Just finished reading this -- incredible book! Working on implementing some of these and practicing improving my negotiation skills. Thanks Tom and Chris!
Great to see you speak in Lafayette, Tom - let me know next time you're in town and let's grab a coffee.
Tom, thanks so much for the value! Every now and then, you bring in a heavy hitter such as CV. I keep ffwd to min.40 to implement and it is ALL so good.👊😎
This is amazing!! Ultimately the most informative and helpful video that I have watched in a while thank you very much!
I have never been able to follow his stand up
Lectures. Or at least he hadn’t convinced me of how I could use the information. This is much much better and think I will buy the audible book after listening to this.
Great job guys. I’m gonna have to watch all over again. So much good stuff.
Thanks for this video. I have bought Chris’s book and can’t get enough of him.
This was absolutely priceless. Such valuable information. Thank you so much! This is a MUST listen podcast.
Great stuff in here. Chris is a master negotiator with a great sense of humor. This qualities have to come together when you are on the field. Top class.
I could listen to Chris all day long. Thanks for bringing him on Tom!!
Great great great show. Read the book twice by the way. Still making notes during this show, just love it!
Chris Voss is the most charming American alive.
This is the best Tom Ferry interview and the best Voss interview I have found and Im always looking. Great job guys
There are some terrible Chris voss interviews out there.
Amazing interview! Came up on my suggestions right after I finished his book! Thank you
My Father is retired FBI - I loved this segment, and found it helpful and fascinating! Thank you!
Thank you Tom. This is GOLD
Excellent Podcast. Great questions and solutions to real world situations. Chris' book is excellent. Read it a few times
Just ordered the book . Wow simply Amazing .I will dissect each sentence so powerful so deep.i know I will cherish the book.
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Amazing!! Read the book but this gave some really great insights and will be re-watching it (and re-reading the book). Will be recommending my sales team watch this tomorrow at team meeting
Best TF podcast I've seen, brilliant stuff
Hello Group and Leader. I am enjoying the energy that this you tube is passing on to me. The best.
Tom that was an excellent show! You are a master host. Thank you so much for such a captivating episode!
Great information. Now the hard work starts implementing what Chris teaches.
Love this guys voice sounds like he’s smooth slick talker
Loved this, what an insightful guy. Just bought the Kindle book. I split the difference twice last week!!!!
Being human is where it is at and it was right here thanks to Chriss. So glad that I made this a priority.
Thank you!
Love it. I need to internalize this
As a Real Estate Broker, I eat up everything Chris Voss says. Every day, we negotiate, but not quite on the level he does
This was extremely insightful.
So. Much. Gold. In this episode. Thank You!
This need 10x the amount of views, incredible information!
Thank you so much for sharing this content.
Love ya @chrisvoss. Learning so much from you!
Thank you for setting this up...so cool :-)
Love listening to Chris but this video is almost unwatchable with this host interrupting and saying "yeah" every five seconds..give me a break dude. Ruined it.
Agreed. Like the host knows better everything that transpired with Chris Voss. Annoying! @dsweaponx
He’s phenomenal.
What an awesome interview.
Empathy=Describe their feelings "you feel like I let you down"
Manipulation =using apologies and blame
"I'm sorry you feel I let you down"
TOM, thank you for this interview !!!
12 minutes in and I feel like this really could be life changing stuff. I’m getting the book after the podcast
Absolutely love this episode, Tom! So much valuable information. Can't wait for the Summit!!
A lot of great knowledge provided by Voss but I agree with the criticisms about the interviewer. He seems to cut Voss off so many times just when he was going to provide another insightful gem, which then turns into an answer to the interviewer's own usually mundane observation.
He's in the zone, it could be someone you hate, it could be your ex wife... Perfect.
Great stuff, picking up that book
I didn’t even know I needed this until I pressed play. Wow!
Very good interview with Chris Voss once I put a notebook on my screen over Tom Ferry. So much nervous distraction going on from the host, flipping his hands around and waving papers.
Great insights - loving this book!
In this episode we interrupt about everything, always ...because we can, despite this thanks for the upload!
Great! I’m a dominatrix. This is soooo valuable. Adore Chris Voss
Who cares?
You have a great voice, Tom!
so good!!!
Great Value. Thanks!!!
Just got the audiobook on audible!!
There were so many thoughts this genius was attempting to finish and was interrupted. Valuable information but a battle of ego for the spotlight . Who’s the guest and who’s giving their expertise? The host doesn’t shush
Literally
Excellent!!!!!!!!! 👍🏼
Riveting interview; I'm happy I watched & listened to it attentively & completely!
glad you enjoyed it!
I would love to role play negotiation with mr Voss!
Tom you did great. Dont worry about the negative comments people dont realize that life is nothing but lessons
“I’m sorry about how this information makes you feel” god dude, glad you’re not my agent.
This is great. He's like Liam Neeson in Taken and Christopher Walken mixed.
This was very insightful. I will have to add Chris Voss on my wishlist. Is Chris’ book in audio format?
You can get it in any format you like. I would recommend it on Amazon Kindle and Audible.
I believe this is one of the best episodes in the last year...
David Demangos thanks D! He’s pretty rad!
So fired up for SUMMIT LETS GO
If you are a good negotiator that would cut a lot of your expenses for your company or gain more upper hand when it comes to deals. Learn to negotiate and to talk persuasively.
Just in the first 15 minutes, GOLD
Best fucking comment ever. GOAT 🐐 Tom says all the money 💰 in Real Estate is made before 8am after 5pm and all weekend long. Drop the MIC 🎙 this man makes sense. BEYOND A TRUE STATEMENT ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️🙌 @tomferry
It depend on what you focus on, ppl focus thing make them feel pleasureble
i'm reading this book right now LOL>>. Appreciate you sir.
Love Chris Voss. I could barely read his name on the banner. His name should be headlined!!!!! Luck I recognized his face
I literally saw Chris’s face, with Tom, and screeeeee! Real estate sales and Voss?! Dude. I took Chris’s MasterClass.
Thank you
I just bought your book on amazon. I will also buy the audio book. Now I watch videos on VOSS non stop. Seems like you have a real story to tell with a philosophy that can be applied to my daily life.
Imagination at 1:08:24 now u driving their feel bro stronger.
There is soo much Gold in this interview.
Is the a plane flying by at 30:43...producer of this video is masterful.
Greetings my good friends, is it me or does this guy sound and look like Chris Walken... I was sold from the start; keep it coming...
I’m here for Chris, not for Tom
The interviewer here should shut up, listen, and let Chris drop them k knowledge bombs...
The other guy almost ruin my experience, just talking irrelevant things
@@avengerdogs Yes and pointing his finger at Chris.
Great interviewers have a talent called listening. Not a skill Tom Ferry has demonstrated here... To busy thinking about his own ego no doubt.
I think I needed to know those answers from the sales perspective.
"How do I get them to let it out ?"
STOP TALKING AT AND OVER THEM. Mr amped up positive high energy. Dude chill out Mr. Mental Hard-On.
Anytime Chris is explaining an amazing point.
mm-hmm, yeah, mm-hmm, yep, wave hands, push up glasses, mm-hmm, push up glasses, yep, say that again, mm-hmm, yes, wave hands, yeah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yep...
"I think the overarching thing here is listen" 54:36
A real bad ass negotiator, he can really manipulate people to get what he wants.
Years of experience credited to him.
You may get away with it first deal first hand but if you misleading people or you lack integrity in your pitch. It will backfire at you. And you're gonna hate yourself because of it.
Wow! Holy Cow! Potent!
Look, your talking to my friend who has helped me in my personal skills. Can you please stop being a jerk? I can tell he's upset, and stop trying to morph his style to conform your comfort. This guy flows gold in a consistent manner, but you gotta let this guy flow.
I have seen longer 15 minute videos ! Tom YOUR empathy and connection with the host is a classic demonstration of what Chris is teaching and that makes this podcast viewing such a wonderful exercise !
This guy is Amazeballs
Way too many “ya yuh mmhmm ya yup mmhmm yes” better off just let the guy talk
Bingo
Chris can never do an interview without getting terribly interrupted