Burger Toast and Pizza Toast | Ashens
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It's Burger! It's Pizza! It's Toast! It's actually only Toast! Because the things purporting to be Burger and Pizza are actually just a fatty, jellified, salty mess!
Re-uploaded as processing somehow failed yesterday yet it went online anyway, and it never made it to sub boxes. Which means the only people who would know it existed would be those with a direct link from Twitter etc. Fun.
You should have waited until 2040 to eat these for the full Ashens effect
supyoist He might not be alive by then
Evonne Okafor not if he keeps eating this shit!
supyoist lol I'm the 420th like
Snoop Dogg Hell yea
supyoist ii
should have put The 2 toasts together and made a horrible mistake
That's how my parents explain my birth.
I was waiting for it to happen and am slightly disappointed... In fact, that plus some really awful poundland processed cheese in between them...
don't you mean a horrible grilled miSTEAK!
mone luve *get.* *out.*
@@moneluve1000 no
"Whats for tea mum?" "Would you like some toast thats been ruined?" Lmao
Hurray! You're the best mum!
😂😂😂😂
Are you sure this is not rebranded cat food?
UltimateShingo I have heard this glop is where the failed cat food ends up as.
UltimateShingo Looks more like a can of cat sick to me
Cat food? Have you seen cat food? Aside from the patte stuff, cat food looks more appealing than this ground up animal jelly
UltimateShingo nah that would look more appetising
UltimateShingo most of the cat foods out there are pretty decent looking.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are at the height of entertainment. I've just watched a man eat toast for ten minutes.
TheOGBigB It actually entertains me more than most of the stuff shown in actual Tv shows/series.
and still is better than anything on TV
Better than a walking dead episode these days...
And don't even get me started on that crappy fear show...
....and now!!!!
reading through the comments...
Metal Monkey I'm actually really enjoying walking dead right now. It's nowhere near as good as the first and second seasons, but it is entertaining for an hour each Sunday night. I do agree with you in that Fear is shitty, though.
Imagine combining Burger Toast with the Trekking Burger
Do you WANT to tear a hole in the space time continuum? Because that's how you tear a hole in the space time continuum.
Tried it, it tasted like bread and sadness
@@Prodawg You may have started the predicament we're in right now
@@JonatasAdoM which one?
I feel sick, it might be your comment or the fact that I've been up for 16 hours, but I think it's your comment
As an American, the appearance of my nation's flag upon the packaging of that Burger Toast fills me with a deep sense of pride.
*MADE IN THE EU*
So is most the people who immigrated here in the first place
blaz3r77 haha what
I was so confused until I saw the Italian flag behind the Pizza Toast.
As another citizen of the USA, I disavow any knowledge of or responsibility for that Burger Toast. We have our horrific crimes against food, but we didn't do that one. We're culinary criminals, not monsters!
As an American who knows what a good Cheeseburger tastes like id say the feeling is more akin to embarrassment considering the product.
That's in date. It has no place on this channel.
Ahhh, but you forget the other qualifier for being on this channel. "Is it *disgusting*?"
Yes, that may be the other one, but for it to fit. It needs to have both qualities.
Lest we forget the oldest thing he's reviewed... Those damn olives.
@John Hunt but not out of date enough, we need to wait at least another year.
How to eat like ashens:
1) take bite (making an "ah" noise is optional)
2) make a subtle grunt/moan
3) inhale loudly with nostrils
4) same as step 2
Repeat for best result
Predictable
Hahahahaha! So true
This makes me think of those “you are now breathing manually” memes because I didn’t notice those things until I read this comment
Make hand motions according to your emotion
ASMR Ashens - Eating Toast
The questionable food reviews always make me think of the apocalypse. As in, Ashens is a man alone in his shelter. To stave off the boredom and dread he eats his awful tinned food and records it for an audience that is long dead.
I do appreciate the knowledge of what foods MIGHT be edible being a few years out of date.
C s I've been thinking that since the start of his food reviews lol.
This made my day. Burst out laughing to the point of a snort.
Thank you.
I'm very glad.
C s 👏👏👏
Well, If I wrote "the spicy food reviews" would you assume that I meant the review was hot and spicy?
Based on context I think you can puzzle it out.
Love that American Flag
*Produced in the EU*
IKMNification some are made in China *cough*
An alternate account Stop your boasting, we've already seen the canned chicken
IKMNification made in Estados Unidos
and the pizza one had an Italian flag, its almost as if they were using imagery associated with the food stuff
Xuriz Manson no, EEUU is Estados Unidos
Ah yes, my sleeping ritual always begins with watching a Ashens video.
I just started doing that. Thank you.
One does not simply watch "a" ashens video.
@@thesaintjimmy88 *an
Haruo Akiya Why are you correcting him when OP made the mistake?
@@leadpaint6391 did I get wooshed or something
Burger Toast.
Produced in the EU.
American flag on packaging.
???
hallo hallo, was ist den da los? das ganze haus stinkt schon wieder nach gelato. leg mir ne bahn WO?, AUF MEINEM SMARTPHONE! und dann serve ich dem junkie so wie pablo
That's gay honestly.
@@autism3997 hmm nien krieg minister Bweide luftballon merkel
@rgtrooper13 That's not really how it works.
It's associated with America, yes, but we don't think that this is how american food is.
But honestly after trying multiple American recipes...i still think US food blows.
Well we're pretty good at nukes, kicking the nazi's ass, Japanese as well, I believe theres more but to be civil we wont drop that card. The internet, computers, space travel, moon landing ect ect. So dont hate
I can't have a meal without the need for the Chewbacas Clackers garnish anymore
Simply Put, according to the slang in my parts, a clacker is a vagina xD
James Burns I don't know what worries me more, the fact it's Chewbacca's vaginas or the fact it's plural...
Mechanically separated chicken.
That's never a good sign.
Hahhaha
@Jo Blo Oi, you two. Stop doing that.
Slim jims are nice though
I prefer hand-separated chicken whenever I can get it
Ahh, I love that site
Smear it on your toast and wonder what the hell your doing with your life
Some people need this in their life. Its a morning reality check, in a can.
At least it's not Marmite.
Lord Funface The Atomic Toaster
Marmite is awful.
Alan you're *
anyone else think they just slapped a new label on some dog food?
Clayton Brewer Honestly the dog food we have resembles food more than this.
E150a is caramel.
E621 is MSG.
both totally fine to eat.
E621 is also furry forum
E1M1 is a doom level
Frapajapajooza tastes just like the organs of the tormented
Coming from someone who call's himself 'Scurvy Dan', that's hardly an endorsement.
>E621
Pretty sure someone just put a different label on unsold cat food...
OneNewHope more like cat vomit
DINO IDEAS cat vomit sounds too high-quality
OneNewHope my thoughts exactly.
The coffee creamer at my old job was called "Coffee Whitener Substitute". The first ingredient was *SOLIDS*. I kid you not.
The willpower to not point out that Burger Toast looked like you were smearing shite on the toast is impressive.
That actually looks like feces smeared on some bread.
Looks more like earwax to me
Calvin Folan Thanks man
If someone spread that on a doughnut, Vash would make an exception to his no-kill rule.
Liz Ooof, edgy
Vash the Stampede *O* *O* *O* *F*
My ferret had a dump in his litter tray whilst watching this. It really enhanced the experience.
Gross, although I’d bet it’s a cute ferret
How was your ferret watching this while pooping?
@@poochersmontgomery8825 Haha! Exactly what I first thought🙈
can I pet the ferret
I really think you should've grilled them after putting it on the toast. Fine, you don't want the cheese, but at least heat it up a bit so it tastes the way this canned shit is supposed to taste
This.
When I was coming up, I saw this in the grocer and asked my mom if we could buy some. She said, and I quote, "that stuff is for poor people."
Needless to say, we had the burger one for dinner that night.
:c
Grim Roman Nice joke
Why would she say 'that's for poor people' if she was still going to buy it?
Daniel Callahan He's saying this his family is poor. That's the joke
Lucky Ducky What's wrong with you?
"This is not going to become a running gag" Chewbaccas Clackers
That's exactly what I was thinking.
It's called "Suspiciously Specific Denial".
The only reason it even rhymes is because the English mispronounce "Chewbacca"
Bee’s Knees
Cat’s Pyjamas
Chewbacca’s Clackers
Not even any butter on that toast....just went straight in bareback with the burger emulsion.
do you really think adding butter would have helped like at all?
Whats impressive is that its in date
Elite S'more ikr?I thought I was the only one who noticed.
Flavor Enhancer (E621). That last part worries me.
E621 Blue
pls no hentai in my burger
Morioh-Cho's Numbah One Busta e621 is my favorite website.
There's fur in my burger
MSG, Caramel and meat fats. What else could you ask for?
Flavor Enhancer (*E621*)
*Deebly Goncerned*
The Boi OwO
Hidden way of saying msg
The Boi its just msg. Nothing to worry about
FUG XDDD
OwO
Child: What's for tea, mum?
Mum: Would you like some toast that's been ruined?
Child: Hurray, you're the best, mum!
BeanOfHope Red this as he said it... very ironic on my end! XD
@advanced gaming. Please explain how this is in any way, shape or form ironic.
This is the most British thing I have read all day.
finally. the reason why i subscribe to you. food stuff
Napoleon Blownapart ikr. It's weird but i Love watching ashens eat weird/expansed food.
Cory In The Trap House now thhhhhat was the proper response
I came here years ago for popstations and stayed for the food.
Tom: Me too, I don't know why lol :D
You want to see something like this? A guy eating weird processed/canned foods? TheWolfePit is a good channel for that, he also make some cooking recipes
“Pizza is a form of cheese on toast.”
Woah, woah, woah. Let’s not be hasty.
Pizza is a canvas for art.
Pizza is a open faced sandwich
Pizza is a spicy baked pancake
I was honestly retching as soon as he starts spreading it on the toast. 10 thousand years of civilisation, and we've ended up with this shit.
Only a civilisation with food to spare would make crap like this to sell in places with no famine!
Cribnoob 10k years of civilisation to end up playing minecraft
Cribnoob if this makes you retch, don't watch his 'chicken in a can' video 😂
thanks dan, i almost forgot about that one
Cribnoob I laughed because it looks like shit being spread on toast.
I clicked on this video quicker than it took ashens to hate this toast shite.
So you clicked it faster than instantly?
Derpy Soren yes.
Super Puggle sounds like someone saw the link to the first upload attempt on Twitter.
I would've done the same thing but I noticed Larry uploaded a video around the same time.
Ok I understand the joke about burgers and Americans but why is literally EVERYTHING that involves a burger outside of our country have our flag on it. Like I mean most the tea I have seen doesn't have a British or Chinese.
Bunker Boy because your country is the junk food capital of the world
It doesn't, i can easily buy burgers without the american flag on, most don't.
Andromeda the United Kingdom is the fattest country. Shut up.
Andromeda wrong person sorry, meant the person above you.
Hailey no... no it isn’t, it’s either Mexico or America I believe
Kinda reminds me of Bachelor Chow. Ah, good times.
"Now with flavor!"
Trevgauntlet we had that a year ago or so. look up some of his older foodie videos. I think it was the self heating beef stew.
Trevgauntlet haha! I love Futurama 🙃
Wish you still got Dan in for your food videos, his retching was always a nice balancer to your 'I eat four-decade-old food semi-regularly' palate.
What can I say, I enjoy the fantastic contrast of one guy calmly saying "Hmm, it's alright," while the other desperately tries to turn his own throat inside out whilst screaming.
Daniel Callahan why aren't you named harry?
Also wish that but with Dan being a vegetarian now and most odd foods are meat based that's going to be hard.
if you like watching people eat old food, check out steve1989, he regularly eats military rations from WWII, Korea, and Vietnam as well as newer ones from various countries.
Moiz Jafferji - Oh! I had no idea he'd gone veggie, that explains a lot, thank you. Can't help but wonder if he was partially inspired to by appearing in past videos... Oops.
The first one legitimately looks like a tin of shit.
Bad shit at that.
Or bad dog food
If your shit looks like that you need to see the gastro doctor
'Oooo do not want'
-Ashens 2017
> American flag on the cover
> Produced in the EU
🤔
SirBruceX this is what brits think those americans eat.
@@nationalnationalism8885 thay eat it every day like we eat fish and chips every day
Shows a USA flag
MADE IN EUROPE
Flame but FOR USA 😉
They sell this in my local Asda. Purchased it, opened it, binned it. Took a real man to try it.
"Chewbacca's Clackers" that's an image for the mind.
"It wont make you ill, it'll just make you wish you were eating something else"
The disappointment...
Food perfectly holding the shape of its container is a sign of the highest quality
I would genuinely rather eat Breakfast Mess than this.
Looking for a new breakfast experience?
A s'mores-based breakfast cereal is available in B&M Bargains.
I'm sure he was supposed to grill that again lol
B O N E L E S S P I Z Z A
P E N I S
ow oof my bones
*MAKE THAT SHIT BONELESS*
You think i know what a fucking panini is?
*ISS B O N E L E S S*
I like how they chose to the American flag to sell something that "tastes" like burgers. I've never seen anything like this in the States, I don't think it'd do super well.
I don't know, Americans like stuff that looks like real food but isn't, kinda like those fake cheese slices. I think there would be some sales. Then again getting hold of a real burger in the US is probably quite easy so maybe they wouldn't do well.
Can I just get a picture? yeah burgers are so widely available fake burger probably wouldn't do well... Then again we did have burger flavored Pringles for a while there.
Can I just get a picture? we don't put cat food on toast. I can't imagibe this doing well here
Chris Williams. I highly doubt any human would willingly consume this - at least one not named Ashens.
Even in the UK these kinds of things don't do well at all. Hell, if we want a real burger there's countless independent burger places around, loads of high quality chains from Byron to Five Guys, and every pub has some kind of big bacon burger with a free pint. As for pizza, well... Italy is about one and a half hours away on a plane. Make a weekend of it!
The company that sells these weird things in the video (Argon C&M) is just a management company, so its probably Chinese in origin and sold by Argon C&M. That'd be my guess.
Watching this in Dec 2019
Sees date on back of package
"nah mate, don't eat it, that expired months ago"
Months ago? You must be new here.
@@app0the yes, although it’s more than a few months now
@@solgaleo3533 I was making a hit on how Stuart often eats stuff that's expired a few decades ago, but good call anyway xd
1:11
>flavor enhancer e621
wewlad
NarnKar I'm worried as to what flavor that possibly entails...
+Porl of Earth Possibly entrails.
Everyone gets one guess as to which "flavour enhancer" that number corresponds to.
OwO
NarnKar my,my.
When I click the link to an Ashens video and I'm not sure it's a new one as the sofa angle has remained consistent for nearly ten years...
I'd imagine with a slice of cheese and grilled like it suggests, it might even reach the level of tasty.
Shoulda put cheese.
Jack Nicholson warned him.
Yes he didn't make it to the directions on the tin. He needs to follow instructions.
It still wouldn't have been terribly good, though.
Stephen Sansom watch the Wolfe pit he says it still tastes like shit
Most probably! But it might have helped.
Chewbacca's clackers. When are we getting the NEW insta-mash Ashen's Mash Ems?
Stuart should try some those instant-mash pots available in the discount shops, e.g. Home Bargains, ATM.
Looks more like something you feed a cat...
That you hate
Human wetfood.
Would you rather eat that entire tin of Burger Toast or that whole Burger in a tin you had years ago?
burger in a can cos not bad when warmed up
"Oh my god there's a fucking bun inside!
-OH YOU ARE SHITTING ME!?"
Demolinizer5 why would heating it make it any better, they designed it to be eaten cold
Creeper Jam tin burger in a heart beat
Ashens to review "Kim Kardashians BEAUTY CONTOUR KIT " in the next video. Like if you agree.
Let’s make him review condoms
Brabus Mighty awful idea, but whats gay about that hahahahah
Critical 22 With a taste test.
a taste test to make-up sounds great too..
That comments made me taste test bleach with my eyes.
*notices ur flavor enhancer* OwO
Oh good, I wasn't the only one who noticed the number on that
Feckin furries
I still have a cropped screenshot of that lying around somewhere
Fucking dead. 😂😂😂😂
AWW HELL YEA
(Serving suggestion) Don't fucking consume
I used to eat as a kid something called
Pizza Spread
It came in a can and had tiny pepperoni, tiny mushrooms, and tiny peppers with some orange sauce of mixed cheese and tomato sauce. It was awful but as a kid yum pizza!
Why do you do this to yourself
markeldamgaard LOL
For science, our entertainment and he probably has a death wish
A food that was warned about? Next you'll be getting ahold of some sugar-free gummy bears or something. I've got no idea.
Is that a Boneless Pizza?
The Reaper95 Anchovies contain bones.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MEME AND WHY????
EGG MAN STOP!!!! just stop
swear on Y E E E Z Y
EGG MAN 🅱oneless 🅱izza
The weirdest part about these food reviews is that in order for these items to continued to be produced, somebody has to be buying them. I want to see an interview with the fans of these pastes.
I think he’s be really and eerily calm when the inevitable happens with the sugar free gummy bears.
Tip: Don't watch this while eating your lunch
otherwise you'll taste it twice
Why not, Zoidberg? Some people like eating the same food many times.
Mathew Haswell I see what you did there
Ppl llo00oooo
2toasts1ashens.
On a more serious note, I was disappointed you didn't also try them after following the instructions. I feel like the grilling process would make a genuine difference to the flavour and texture, perhaps not a good one, but a difference nonetheless!
I feel like the pizza one with some melted cheese on top would at least be _edible_. I've known people who've done similar things in college and called it poverty pizza.
himselfe yeah, I don't know how there's not more people bothered by it. This wasn't a fair review at all. It's as if he tried to review a pie by eating it before it gets put in the oven. I think it's the first time I'm disappointed by ashens.
I tried the more basic "pizza" version which was basically a cheap tomato puree with some herbs. Grilled it with cheese on top and it was okay. Edible but not something I would rush to try again
yes. 1st Ashens disappointment here as well.
You can dress up a shit sandwich all you want, it will still be a shit sandwich
"Yeah, I managed to make a product that ruins toast!" and other quotes from history's greatest monsters.
Wait, didn't I already watch this.
Mario he had to re-uploaded it it was on his Twitter
oh, I don't really go on social media all that often.
Mario do you watch the wolfe pit?
No I do not.
He uploaded it yesterday, and reuploaded it today.
Listen carefully at 2:52
You can hear the knife squelch through the burger shit
In my country we have these types of toast spreads but we usually just spread it on a normal slice of bread then put it in the oven till the bread becomes toast like. It's pretty good. I never tried to just spread it on toast before.
Just realised im messaging on a 3 year old video and no one will ever see this message.
Lol
F
I actually enjoy eating these!
Other things I enjoy:
- the music of Coldplay
- British Rail services
- the recent Doctor Who finale episode
Signed,
An Idiot
BrendanBlake42 leave doctor who out of it sunshine
BrendanBlake42 I dont think that was a finale? he didn't regenerate
I mean Cipaldi confirmed he's leaving so it's during the Christmas special which I hope is called a tale of two doctors
Jia Wei Lim ikr
Ashens was in the Doctor who finale.
"Yeah...looks like....looks like the dog's done a whoopsie on the bread, quite frankly. Right!"
I love how easy it is to get distracted by how gross the things you eat are and then the next second you're laughing so hard you have to pause the video. Just one of the reasons I love your channel so much, Ashens
The cardboard package be like
BURGER TOAST
BURGER TOAST
BOTTOM TEXT
@@skydiamsteam6005 TOP TEXT
BOTTOM TEXT
For a second I thought he was going to open a re-branded Trekking Burger.
-shivers-
"Shit on a shingle" is the phrase that comes to mind looking at this.
Sera SOS ( creamed chipped beef on toast ) is actually fit to eat,we used to have it all the time when I was young I really liked it.
Oh look. Feces for your toast. Appetizing.
"BURGER TOAST"
Picture of a burger
American flag background
"produced in the EU"
Shit. They're starting to do it back to us.
This reminds me of that Courage the Cowardly Dog scene:
Eustace: *spits out sandwich* "Stupid dog food!"
Dr. Vindaloo: "What did you say was in that sandwich?"
Eustace: "Lousy Stinkin' Dog Food!"
Dr. Vindaloo: "That is the antidote! Lousy Stinking Dog Food!"
4:58 sounds like he's describing me
Nice!
i for one include e621 in every meal it definitely enhances my experience
clarification: i'm not talking about msg that stuff makes me sleepy
Msg makes you sleepy? That's an interesting effect
The Burger spread looks like human waste.
Tommy Sullivan Please explain
+weirdo freak It is lumpy and brown, what more is there to be said?
Tommy Sullivan look at his name. he gets a kick out of you explaining it.
It probably is.
My aunt makes a meat sauce spread on toasted rolls sometimes, calls it "pizza burgers"- that sounds like this but actually nice.
Why is he putting dog shit on his toast?
How in the world do cans of food such as these even get made? Where does the financing come from? There must be a market for them somewhere.
Yeah and also why is it in a can? Surely you wouldn't want to put the whole lot on at once! Unless it's a whole family gathering of burger toast, mmmmm.
The rest could be refrigerated over night for added depth of flavour...lol. I'm going to buy some for the next time you stop over...sluuuurp!
Lol, nooo I'd prefer a nice ice cream to slurp on haha 😂
You mean so we could turn into giant tongues and race each other..and whoever slurped their way to the finish line first would win a life time supply of Haagen Dazs chocolate midnight cookie ice cream? :-D
As long as I'm not slurping that god awful stuff to win the midnight cookies 🍪 ice cream!
That flavour enhancer >w>
UwU what's this
E621! My favourite E number!
No Get Lost Oh murr
(Dear God, what's wrong with me)
Kyle Ashby its to late to ask yourself that at this point, just go with it
Hmm, a video about toast products with E621 on the packaging. Where's Null when you need him?
what about E651 and E666 ?
No Get Lost 0w0
Chewbaccas clackers never gets old ..
"So what did you have for breakfast today, Ashens?"
"Hello friend, why I had some delicious diarrhea toast."
"....Bless your soul..."
It's like Fancy Feast for toast!
ironically, my band in high school was old Smelly Old Meat.
Canned cat food looks tastier lol.
didn't you already do this wolfe......sorry wrong channel.
Hey! They finally stopped trying and relabeled dog food
My cat would like these spreads. lol
Well, I knew it would happen one day. Ashens eats cat food. Bring the leftovers to a Barshens filming, I want to see Paul vomit. He can tell the story of when he scammed his friend into buying him a meal by convincing him he was so poor he could only afford to buy cat food.
I watched this at 10am this morning, but here i am again.
You know after he did this video he sang the Meow Mix song lol.
*hello*
marks kovals hi
marks kovals good day
It's me.
I was calling just to wonder if
You would like to meet.