Once lived with a friendly, outgoing landlord / roommate. Conversations with this dude were troubling, including rapid responses to most any topic we would have, outside of the lies. Weariness would set in - eventually moved away.
Please run. I had a friend who was a compulsive liar in high school. You might think that they care about you deep down, but they don't. They can't get therapy because they lie to the therapist.
It’s a red flag about the level of trust in someone you’ve dated for 6 years when you answer Delony’s “how old is she” question with “she’s probably...”
This happened to me but the relationship was for 12 years and we had a beautiful kid that is my daughter… it is embarrassing to admit on how gullible I was but Glory to God I was able to pick up the pieces and move on with my life.
@@joshuaramo9388 dude when he didn't really know i was like omfg how is that possible. Oh wait..... Dude she's gonna Dear John you. Get a weapon for protection if you don't have one already.
Dude sounds mentally and emotionally drained. My sister used to be married to a pathological liar. It was terrible -9 out of 10 things that came out of his mouth was a lie. He lied so much I honestly think he started believing his own lies….RUN because they don’t change!!
He sounds like he’s lying. He’s literally not saying anything and what he is saying doesn’t sound legit and is vague. He has no opinions or feelings or details. He doesn’t even know this alleged persons age (if he thinks she’s lied he’d say “she says she’s x”). And he knows her kids but not her name? How is that possible after 6 years. Lies.
I think that was post-realization, not pre-realization. Like during the process of uncovering everything the caller realized that she was lying about her age as well. During the phone call he seems very much out the door and doesn't want to reconcile, he just wants/wanted help on how to step out the best way because she's a risk to herself.
Okay, what does a Black flag mean, what does a Red flag mean and what does a White flag mean. A white flag means different things in different situations, but should not be used in this relationship, either a) surrender or b) truce to discuss things in combat.
I think everyone needs to learn to be ok with being single so they don’t put so much into having to find someone. It should be about finding to right one.
Yes this is so important. I personally feel it's hard for someone to be in a healthy stable relationship until they become comfortable being alone and love themselves. So many people skip that step in life. Then they want and expect others to fill their voids. It's very unhealthy and unfair.
My brother’s entire personhood was changed and 35 years of his adult life were sacrificed to a woman who misrepresented herself and threatened suicide if he left until it became the nature of the relationship. He grew into a person I barely recognize, and no longer have any relationship with. My father died three months ago, and the most I can muster for an interaction at the upcoming memorial is minimal politeness. Never underestimate the amount of damage a person can do to your entire life, every existing relationship. To be clear, I could try to restart a relationship with him but I truly dislike the person he became. And I am not the same forgiving girl I was 35 years ago. This woman might have started with one innocent lie, maybe made herself younger or older, more interesting, better career, whatever, but she held that first lie up with thousands and thousands of lies over six years. I don’t think he owes her anything but a polite call or letter saying our entire relationship was a lie, here is the truth, I am finished. If she does anything drastic it is not his fault.
@@lilolmecj i hate hearing those stories. I was told my aunt was a beautiful nice person, she married a man who lied about having kids and other women. His whole intention was to marry a good girl to create a false image in society while living like a vagabond and abusing his wife. My aunt has become an angry woman with whom I am unable to deal with.
100% it is not the responsibility of the partner but the individual, and i say that as someone who has had ideations of that nature throughout my teens and 20s. To put that responsibility on someone else is emotional and psychological abuse, end of.
100% agree with what you're saying! Reaching out for help and being guided to an appropriate professional is not the same as manipulating someone into staying.
I just ended an engagement with a liar and deceiver. Thank God we did not get married. One of the greatest gifts was giving myself space to process the truth when it showed up AND ending the relationship and never looking back. I pray this man does the same and that he heals and works on the issues of his soul.
I had a fiancée who lied about everything too, our pre marital relationship she lied about finances and her veterinarian business and who actually owned what. I got her to show me her finances and I learned the truth she couldn’t really own anything on paper because the banks would take it in a lawsuit… she was in debt in millions
I thought he was going to say they were in their early 20s and that they just met 😳What the flip !? This is like a bad dream ! Dont turn it in to a nightmare!! RUNNNN. This woman may even be married 🤔🧐
He sounds like a good man. They aren’t married. She is not his responsibility. I was engaged for 3 years. We were long distance for a year. After we broke up, I found out that he was not who I thought he was. Also, I realized that although he knew everything about me, I didn’t know that much about him, even though I was close with his family. Everything Dr. John said makes sense.
I can think why this guy tried to make things work for so long. Many good guys available at his age would love to be a blessing to a single mom and try to give her kids a better life. And we are more likely to be naiive and sensitive to women's emotions.
I dodged a bullet like this. The relationship was long distance for a year. Lied about wanting to get married. We met each other's families and traveled together. Never again
I took a dating sabbatical 3 years ago because of similar red flags. It’s very hard to trust that I will meet a man with similar values. This episode is super helpful and I appreciate the vulnerability. Thank you 🙏
@@stephanieburgess8217idk, maybe. There’s people who are dangerous. I watch and listen to a lot of true crime and there’s been many scenarios where bad stuff occurred in the heat of the moment. I would rather be cruel than dead or imprisoned. I know I sound dramatic but this was just my first thought when I read your comment after while watching this video
@@tammyanderson2372 depends on the situation. I’m saying I would want a face to face but I’m not going to flip out and hurt anyone.. and I’m the one who’s always broken up with so the guy wouldn’t be upset at me. But I see your point if the guy is a narcissist and you are the female breaking up.
I agree. he should not meet with her in person. The phone is a great tool, then block her. Send the letter if you want to by mail. She could be dangerous.
If his rendition of what happened is even half true I don't believe that he should EVER see her again. From his version she is a manipulative con and he may fall prey again as she will SAY ANYTHING. Write the letter and keep a copy for YOUR soul and life learned lesson but NEVER see her again.
Ha ha! Great comment! On the flip side, at middle age, you can cut through the crap and get real. Met a man. We are both late 60s, Went on a date, and here we are, 4 years in, hardly spend a day apart, in happy old person companionship. 💙
I'll just say this. Never date someone for that length of time. Commit or quit before you've spent over half a decade "dating." both parties should be mature enough to make the choice to make it permanent or break it off after a couple years.
Your advice is sound. Though I dated for 7 years and we got married, but we were too young to get married earlier, so when we did I was 30, him-28, not a bad age for marriage. But we are a rare exception. You are generally right
I mean, I met my wife. Thought she was just fantastic. Asked her out. We dated. I spent time with her. Spent time with her family and at her church. We talked about all the fun, mushy things. Then we talked about kids, money, faith, family, worldview, beliefs. I decided she's a girl I wanted to spend my life with. That was 12 months in. She wasn't so sure, so we dated for another 6 months. 18 months in, I told her I wanted to get married. She was just nervous and indecisive. She said yes. We got married 4 months later. Fast forward almost 7 years, our 4th kid is almost here. We're happy, we AGREE on most everything, though it took time to work out after we got hitched. Life is as good as it can be in this crazy stage. But if she insisted on 2 or 3 or 5 more years, I'd have walked away. If I had insisted on dating for YEARS, she should have walked away. Man up, men. Talk it out. Make choices and not years down the road. Avoid all this unnecessary heartache.
This happened to me but the relationship was for 12 years and we had a beautiful kid that is my daughter… it is embarrassing to admit on how gullible I was but Glory to God I was able to pick up the pieces and move on with my life.
There needs to be a dating site for honest people like me, like him, who have been burned by liars bad betrayals, to be friends and to have the option to help each other and to date after trust is built! I feel for him.
A lot of people think they can fix the other person that has a bunch of mental issues. You can't. You're not a professional. Best to just move on. No matter how difficult that might be.
i can relate. i was engaged to a woman that was bipolar af, but could not get a correct diagnosis - this was years ago. even after a 6 month stay at inpatient commitment in idaho. my pastor said i had to go (he knew me much better than her), and as much as i loved her, i departed. we talked sometimes though, as i had moved back to seattle. i even sent her a little bit of money here and there. then one day i'm driving home from eugene or, with my nephew. i had a dreaded feeling about her. so i brought my nephew down on the floor to play with some things, and called her. she made no sense and dropped the phone, so i called ada county fire department - like dr john said, called 911 then stepped back. that's when she was committed to a mental stay. it didn't help. i later learned that she lost her speech pathology license, and who knows what she's doing now, or even if she's still alive.
I could forgive someone if they told me a lie and they were sorry about it and it was a one-time thing as we all have faults. But if everything is a lie there is no integrity and who you thought you knew is not that person. It was also strange that he didn't know exactly how old she was.
You are right,plus normal people lie about things that could embarass them or show weakness in the eyes if the partner,there is some logic why people lie, that is why we can forgive. Lying about name,age,evertthing is not that,that is lying just for lying,just because she can
Yes, Why is that even a question? This woman is already in a bad bad place and it’s not your responsibility to worry about her so step away step away quickly step away no more more more one more step, more. I’m also worried about this guy doesn’t seem to grasp relationships well. Six years are you kidding are you kidding me
Because much like Dave and everyone who works for them/ watches them. They Treat women as princesses who no matter what they do, they will still have a man there backing them up because apparently they aren't as "independent" as they say. Soft feeble people.
My ex lied abotu approx 60% and hid information about most things. I do agree that we lose belief in ourselves to determine right from wrong. But for now, run and cut your ties as the series of lies will not stop
Tell her you're finished and the reason - that she has been dishonest and that you cannot have a relationship devoid of trust - and if she ends up in a bad place, that's really on her. It's hard, but it will be a lot harder if you attempt to stay in it, even if it's just to help her.
It sounds like she’s gaslighting this dude and manipulating him. She’s probably telling him that she’s suicidal etc. just to get the sympathy card from him. He needs to run and run really fast.
I married a con-man. Same situation - found out 4 months in. It’s TERRIFYING. He had kids that needed a stable mom but not worth it. You can’t fix a con artist - I realized I was in a relationship with someone that didn’t exist. SCARY.
Is it necessary to interrupt the caller within the first half sentence on literally every single call? It’s ok to let the caller say what they need to say without trying to be funny.
John Delony has said he has issues. Trying to be funny is his awkward attempt to establish rapport. He does it on every call and it always falls flat. He needs to stop doing it and just focus on the caller’s problem. He’s a good therapist, but he couldn’t to more to lose trust at the outset if he tried.
This is all his fault. How dare he not take her in and marry her after all she has done for him. She's a queen and should be treated as such....... Just kidding Mitch, change your number and tell her to kick rocks. Learn from this and respect yourself. Somebody that would carry on a complete lie for years doesn't deserve any of your time or sympathy.
Exactly. She wasted your time, thoughts, and emotions. She mailed led to waste a tremendous amount of energy. Don’t waste one more minute of your life 9n this situation.
6 years?! WOW..not gonna lie at first it sounded like a catfish to me. My heart just broke and sunk for him. This is the definition of wasting someone's time. When Dr. John asked "How old is she" and Mitch answered "She's probably..", the "she's probably" got to me--that is a BIG SIGN! Why would anyone lie about their age, childhood, past etc?? If you want a long, loving and meaningful relationship and something that leads to marriage, you need to be honest. I'm so sorry Mitch ❤️. Don't give up, your special someone is out there. YOU deserve the BEST!! And someone HONEST!! These people can't be helped because they will never change.
I have a friend who is behaving like this guy. He insists the woman will marry him someday even though it has been 9 years and hundreds if not thousands of dollars later...... The capacity to lie to oneself is the bigger issue here
He's unsure he knows her real age because of how much she has lied to him. He didn't even know her real name. Unsure of her age, because he is literally unsure of her age.
There's is two sides to this coin; the villian in the story and those willing to be a victim to the villian. It's a co-dependamt dynamic and in some twisted way they feed each other. If this guy doesn't wake up and leave after knowing the truth, he has no one else to blame but himself.
If you're in your forties and still not married, that's a huge red flag!. Unless of a death or divorce. How lonely of a life . 😮 In my day, people got married in their twenties, and stayed married 30 to 60 years. These last couple generations of people, don't do that anymore. very very very very very very sad life!.
If anyone ever threatens or implies they are suicidal to make you scared to leave, this is what you do. You call an ambulance/police for a welfare check. That is the entire extent of your responsibility. If they're lying, they'll be embarrassed, if they're telling the truth, they will get help. Never let anyone steal your energy and compassion in this way, it's wicked.
In this instance, I''m against writing a letter you're breaking up with. She's obviously disturbed and with social media, she would have his handwriting, could misconstrue what he said, share only snippets, and spread those lies far and wide. People have been bullied, harassed, have had to move, and had to go to court when social media is used as a weapon and it's the last thing this guy needs.
She might be dangerous. If you are alone with her she could also hurt herself and tell the police you assaulted her. Don't be alone with her. Get a restraining order if needed. Don't break up with her in person. She conned you. You don't owe it to her to meet in person to break up.
I think this guy is tempted to stick around and "help" her and he's not ready for the breakup. Do it on the phone for some distance from her, otherwise manipulation will happen.
Run for the hill buddy. God bless you for caring about her but get the heck out of there and move on with your life. It started on a lie it will never work
My ex husband is a compulsive liar. Unfortunately I met him when I was a very insecure, low confidence young lady. It started with little lies that I excused as misunderstandings. Then the lies became outlandish stories. He came to my work one day crying. He said he was devastated because he witnessed a horrible accident and ended up having to pull people out of a badly crashed car. The people died. I believed him because who makes stories up like that. But then I thought about it and did my research. There was no such accident to be found anywhere in the news he was completely clean when he came to my work. It was just so obvious a lie. So when I told him I was looking for it in the news he started flipping out on me. This craziness went on for years until I finally found the courage to leave. I felt as though I lived on the twilight zone. It’s scary not knowing what to believe. You can’t really know someone who lies that much. It’s impossible to feel secure and safe.
I was in a way more mild situation than the caller. Mine lasted a little bit less than 6 months and to me at the time it felt like forever, let alone 6 years...I'm in a younger age range, but it just saddens me that age knows no bounds. It sure is a scary world out there 😥
If someone lies about something as fundamental as their name, you can't trust ANYTHING they say
Once lived with a friendly, outgoing landlord / roommate. Conversations with this dude were troubling, including rapid responses to most any topic we would have, outside of the lies. Weariness would set in - eventually moved away.
I disagree women’s safety is at an all time risk
@@auroramothergoddess woman lies. Women most affected.
Says Umma do me 😝😉🤣
What about lying about ever being pregnant. Found out she had an abortion.(before me) but lied after i asked about it on multiple different occasions.
Please run. I had a friend who was a compulsive liar in high school. You might think that they care about you deep down, but they don't. They can't get therapy because they lie to the therapist.
It’s a red flag about the level of trust in someone you’ve dated for 6 years when you answer Delony’s “how old is she” question with “she’s probably...”
And that was six years of being together!😯🤭
Yesssss! Why isn’t everyone talking about this 🤣😂
This happened to me but the relationship was for 12 years and we had a beautiful kid that is my daughter… it is embarrassing to admit on how gullible I was but Glory to God I was able to pick up the pieces and move on with my life.
That's what floored me. That's usually one of the first things you learn. 🤦♂️
@@joshuaramo9388 dude when he didn't really know i was like omfg how is that possible. Oh wait..... Dude she's gonna Dear John you. Get a weapon for protection if you don't have one already.
Dude sounds mentally and emotionally drained. My sister used to be married to a pathological liar. It was terrible -9 out of 10 things that came out of his mouth was a lie. He lied so much I honestly think he started believing his own lies….RUN because they don’t change!!
He sounds like he’s lying. He’s literally not saying anything and what he is saying doesn’t sound legit and is vague. He has no opinions or feelings or details. He doesn’t even know this alleged persons age (if he thinks she’s lied he’d say “she says she’s x”). And he knows her kids but not her name? How is that possible after 6 years. Lies.
Wait...he doesn't know her age. THAT AINT A RED FLAG, that's a black flag!
The moment he struggled to know her age, I knew things were going south fast.
I think that was post-realization, not pre-realization. Like during the process of uncovering everything the caller realized that she was lying about her age as well. During the phone call he seems very much out the door and doesn't want to reconcile, he just wants/wanted help on how to step out the best way because she's a risk to herself.
Okay, what does a Black flag mean, what does a Red flag mean and what does a White flag mean. A white flag means different things in different situations, but should not be used in this relationship, either a) surrender or b) truce to discuss things in combat.
I would say it’s a giant red flag 🚩 that can power a cruiseship 🚢
Not a flag but giant red drape
I think everyone needs to learn to be ok with being single so they don’t put so much into having to find someone. It should be about finding to right one.
Exactly
Agreed 💯
Right, I know people who can’t stay single more than 2 mins lol, they always end up in a mess and lots of drama
Yes this is so important. I personally feel it's hard for someone to be in a healthy stable relationship until they become comfortable being alone and love themselves. So many people skip that step in life. Then they want and expect others to fill their voids. It's very unhealthy and unfair.
Finding yourself.
As someone who was previously married to a narcissist/con artist YES. RUN. DON'T MAKE EXCUSES FOR HER. Your gut is telling you the truth. Trust it.
sound like he met and wed a classic covert narc sadly - a letter will not help - leaving quietly will help
How come every divorced person I’ve ever met says their spouse was a narcissist. Becoming hard to believe at this point.
She's not suicidal. She's lying about that TOO. She is not going down in emotional flames, she will be fine. You owe her nothing, walk away.
Call 911 and walk away. It’s now in the hands of professionals.
@@Austenfan177 Let 911 deal with it.
@@desireea1407 Exactly, do not let anyone control you with the "I am going to kill myself". You call 911.
My brother’s entire personhood was changed and 35 years of his adult life were sacrificed to a woman who misrepresented herself and threatened suicide if he left until it became the nature of the relationship. He grew into a person I barely recognize, and no longer have any relationship with. My father died three months ago, and the most I can muster for an interaction at the upcoming memorial is minimal politeness. Never underestimate the amount of damage a person can do to your entire life, every existing relationship. To be clear, I could try to restart a relationship with him but I truly dislike the person he became. And I am not the same forgiving girl I was 35 years ago. This woman might have started with one innocent lie, maybe made herself younger or older, more interesting, better career, whatever, but she held that first lie up with thousands and thousands of lies over six years. I don’t think he owes her anything but a polite call or letter saying our entire relationship was a lie, here is the truth, I am finished. If she does anything drastic it is not his fault.
@@lilolmecj i hate hearing those stories. I was told my aunt was a beautiful nice person, she married a man who lied about having kids and other women. His whole intention was to marry a good girl to create a false image in society while living like a vagabond and abusing his wife. My aunt has become an angry woman with whom I am unable to deal with.
When I realized my then-husband was a pathological liar, I knew the marriage was doomed. There's no relationship without trust.
If she lied about everything else, assume she’s lying about being suicidal. Even if she is, that’s not your problem. Get out of there!
He wont! we're in simp nation 😂
You poor broken dude.
100% it is not the responsibility of the partner but the individual, and i say that as someone who has had ideations of that nature throughout my teens and 20s. To put that responsibility on someone else is emotional and psychological abuse, end of.
True! Liars are 💯 percent manipulators!
100% agree with what you're saying! Reaching out for help and being guided to an appropriate professional is not the same as manipulating someone into staying.
I just ended an engagement with a liar and deceiver. Thank God we did not get married. One of the greatest gifts was giving myself space to process the truth when it showed up AND ending the relationship and never looking back.
I pray this man does the same and that he heals and works on the issues of his soul.
I just ended an engagement for the same reason. Praying for you sister! It’s painful but it’s no doubt the ONLY and right thing to do!
(Almost did) but never got to engment. Legitimately it who intervened. To him be the praise. Being married to a liar sounds like a nightmare
She sounds like a nightmare but he is completely clueless. She is only a girlfriend; walk away.
Oh yeah walk away bro! And just pray for them kids
No! RUN!
I was once engaged to a man who lied about the number of children he had. He was gone immediately.
Run fast and don’t look back.
💯
99%
😁😁😁😁
When someone shows you who they are…believe them.
I had a fiancée who lied about everything too, our pre marital relationship she lied about finances and her veterinarian business and who actually owned what. I got her to show me her finances and I learned the truth she couldn’t really own anything on paper because the banks would take it in a lawsuit… she was in debt in millions
Yikes you ran I take it GOOD!
Oof...
I thought he was going to say they were in their early 20s and that they just met 😳What the flip !? This is like a bad dream ! Dont turn it in to a nightmare!! RUNNNN. This woman may even be married 🤔🧐
He sounds like a good man. They aren’t married. She is not his responsibility.
I was engaged for 3 years. We were long distance for a year. After we broke up, I found out that he was not who I thought he was. Also, I realized that although he knew everything about me, I didn’t know that much about him, even though I was close with his family. Everything Dr. John said makes sense.
I can think why this guy tried to make things work for so long. Many good guys available at his age would love to be a blessing to a single mom and try to give her kids a better life. And we are more likely to be naiive and sensitive to women's emotions.
I dodged a bullet like this. The relationship was long distance for a year. Lied about wanting to get married. We met each other's families and traveled together. Never again
She is holding you hostage. Free yourself!
I love that one !!
Lying is a huge red flag. There is most definitely some scary stuff about her that she’s hiding. Just leave and grieve this situation.
This is the reason we need support. He is hesitating and needs someone to validate his common sense to leave. Love is blinding.
If he can't trust her, dump her. There is no relationship without trust.
I took a dating sabbatical 3 years ago because of similar red flags. It’s very hard to trust that I will meet a man with similar values. This episode is super helpful and I appreciate the vulnerability. Thank you 🙏
Don’t over think it. You already know what you have to do.
My vote is that this does not need to be done in person… Maybe that’s just me 🤷♀️
Yep. She will lie again to make him stay.
No a big breakup, no matter how crazy she is, deserves to be done in person. It is cruel to not.
@@stephanieburgess8217idk, maybe. There’s people who are dangerous. I watch and listen to a lot of true crime and there’s been many scenarios where bad stuff occurred in the heat of the moment. I would rather be cruel than dead or imprisoned. I know I sound dramatic but this was just my first thought when I read your comment after while watching this video
@@tammyanderson2372 depends on the situation. I’m saying I would want a face to face but I’m not going to flip out and hurt anyone.. and I’m the one who’s always broken up with so the guy wouldn’t be upset at me. But I see your point if the guy is a narcissist and you are the female breaking up.
I hate liars. Liars are so destructive. I understand why people lie because they are ashamed and embarrassed.
Six years and he didn’t even know her name and how old she was. How do you get strung along like this for so long?
Well, she lied!
She may gave split personality disorder
@@jamesstanton3280its called Disociatice identity fisorder. Id guess narcisostic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder over DID.
“About six years” *heart sinks to stomach*
Honestly, I rarely comment but because she is unstable I would recommend foregoing meeting in person.
welcome to troll comment armageddon
I agree. I think sending a letter or on the phone. I wouldn’t feel safe in person. I don’t think he owes her much since she’s defrauded him for years
I agree. he should not meet with her in person. The phone is a great tool, then block her. Send the letter if you want to by mail. She could be dangerous.
I was thinking the same thing. I’ve seen too many news stories with similar situations where things go left during that final meeting. 👀
He doesn’t even know how old she is? 😂
I guess that proves she lies so much he doesn’t even know her real age smh
That's a huge red flag right there
maybe she's 16 lol like wow this guy should just run and run lol hahaha
My thoughts exactly, lol
I had a man lie to me for 6 months about his name and age!
Dr JD is wise way beyond his years.
He’s in his 40s. He better be wise.
@@a33m3a that’s a really stupid thing to say. People die at the age of 99 with zero wisdom.
He is wise, plus highly educated in the field of counseling lol
he’s almost 50, you can be 40-50 and still be stupid but “wise beyond years” is for teens and 20’s
If his rendition of what happened is even half true I don't believe that he should EVER see her again. From his version she is a manipulative con and he may fall prey again as she will SAY ANYTHING. Write the letter and keep a copy for YOUR soul and life learned lesson but NEVER see her again.
Dude has been seeing the woman for 6 years. "How Old Is She?" Answer: "She's probably ....." (???) An immediate red flag!!
He wasn’t even certain about her age…
I thought the same thing. But, had to take into account that she lied so much.
He probably knew a number but with her lies, he isn’t sure anymore. I don’t blame him
It would be hard to trust people in the future after something this extreme.
Yikes. Any man who is thinking of jumping back in the dating game in your mid-40s should remember that the odds may be good, but the goods are odd.
Ha ha! Great comment!
On the flip side, at middle age, you can cut through the crap and get real.
Met a man. We are both late 60s,
Went on a date, and here we are, 4 years in, hardly spend a day apart, in happy old person companionship. 💙
It's not your job to fix other people.
I'll just say this. Never date someone for that length of time. Commit or quit before you've spent over half a decade "dating." both parties should be mature enough to make the choice to make it permanent or break it off after a couple years.
Your advice is sound. Though I dated for 7 years and we got married, but we were too young to get married earlier, so when we did I was 30, him-28, not a bad age for marriage. But we are a rare exception. You are generally right
Totally agree
Agreed!
I mean, I met my wife. Thought she was just fantastic. Asked her out. We dated. I spent time with her. Spent time with her family and at her church. We talked about all the fun, mushy things. Then we talked about kids, money, faith, family, worldview, beliefs. I decided she's a girl I wanted to spend my life with. That was 12 months in. She wasn't so sure, so we dated for another 6 months.
18 months in, I told her I wanted to get married. She was just nervous and indecisive. She said yes. We got married 4 months later. Fast forward almost 7 years, our 4th kid is almost here. We're happy, we AGREE on most everything, though it took time to work out after we got hitched. Life is as good as it can be in this crazy stage.
But if she insisted on 2 or 3 or 5 more years, I'd have walked away. If I had insisted on dating for YEARS, she should have walked away.
Man up, men. Talk it out. Make choices and not years down the road. Avoid all this unnecessary heartache.
@@thejakelegion You don't need to make formal alliances with people you trust.
RUN ! Cut her loose, go find someone who is not fake and live a good life.
There are loads of wonderful women in their 40s that would be great partners. Grieve this fraud and move on.
If a woman is not snatched up by 25 something is wrong with her... 30+ run men run.
If they would make great partners, why weren't they already snatched up and had a ring put on their finger before they were in their 40s?
@@luminous6969 because we like our independence unless we find a good one.
@@COINsimp2024 no all the smart men know better...
@@luminous6969 Because men often get roped in by the wrong qualities. Shiny object, shiny object! They have to learn the hard way.
This happened to me but the relationship was for 12 years and we had a beautiful kid that is my daughter… it is embarrassing to admit on how gullible I was but Glory to God I was able to pick up the pieces and move on with my life.
Character and integrity, the only two things no one can ever take away from you, they must be given away.
It sounds like this is a catfish. Did he ever say that they met in person?
I'm glad this randomly popped up on my feed. New subscriber and watcher! Love it
Just move to someone else, she’s a liar from the start
He should move on, but not to someone else yet. He should fix smth that made him stay with her in himself first or he'll attract another fraud.
Dude, run! Don’t marry her! She’s playing this guy like a fiddle. Wow 😯
There needs to be a dating site for honest people like me, like him, who have been burned by liars bad betrayals, to be friends and to have the option to help each other and to date after trust is built! I feel for him.
The sad thing is- it would attract the exact predators we’d all like to be protected from 😢
Run!!! Get away from her.
This is heartbreaking. Praying for you Mitch. 🙏🏽
A lot of people think they can fix the other person that has a bunch of mental issues. You can't. You're not a professional. Best to just move on. No matter how difficult that might be.
i can relate. i was engaged to a woman that was bipolar af, but could not get a correct diagnosis - this was years ago. even after a 6 month stay at inpatient commitment in idaho. my pastor said i had to go (he knew me much better than her), and as much as i loved her, i departed. we talked sometimes though, as i had moved back to seattle. i even sent her a little bit of money here and there.
then one day i'm driving home from eugene or, with my nephew. i had a dreaded feeling about her. so i brought my nephew down on the floor to play with some things, and called her. she made no sense and dropped the phone, so i called ada county fire department - like dr john said, called 911 then stepped back. that's when she was committed to a mental stay. it didn't help. i later learned that she lost her speech pathology license, and who knows what she's doing now, or even if she's still alive.
I went on a date who told me she was bipolar, that flag was so big and red i ran and didnt look back.
I could forgive someone if they told me a lie and they were sorry about it and it was a one-time thing as we all have faults. But if everything is a lie there is no integrity and who you thought you knew is not that person. It was also strange that he didn't know exactly how old she was.
You are right,plus normal people lie about things that could embarass them or show weakness in the eyes if the partner,there is some logic why people lie, that is why we can forgive. Lying about name,age,evertthing is not that,that is lying just for lying,just because she can
The word for this is catfished.
Scammed by a person online pretending to be someone they are not.
This is why you date locally.
Yes,
Why is that even a question?
This woman is already in a bad bad place and it’s not your responsibility to worry about her so step away step away quickly step away no more more more one more step, more.
I’m also worried about this guy doesn’t seem to grasp relationships well.
Six years are you kidding are you kidding me
Because much like Dave and everyone who works for them/ watches them. They Treat women as princesses who no matter what they do, they will still have a man there backing them up because apparently they aren't as "independent" as they say. Soft feeble people.
Run, Forrest, run!!!
Remember no cohabitation, no long term relationship and no marriage.
Very few women nowadays are not devious manipulative and money hungry.
My ex lied abotu approx 60% and hid information about most things. I do agree that we lose belief in ourselves to determine right from wrong. But for now, run and cut your ties as the series of lies will not stop
Tell her you're finished and the reason - that she has been dishonest and that you cannot have a relationship devoid of trust - and if she ends up in a bad place, that's really on her. It's hard, but it will be a lot harder if you attempt to stay in it, even if it's just to help her.
It sounds like she’s gaslighting this dude and manipulating him. She’s probably telling him that she’s suicidal etc. just to get the sympathy card from him. He needs to run and run really fast.
Move on my guy.
I married a con-man. Same situation - found out 4 months in. It’s TERRIFYING. He had kids that needed a stable mom but not worth it. You can’t fix a con artist - I realized I was in a relationship with someone that didn’t exist. SCARY.
Is it necessary to interrupt the caller within the first half sentence on literally every single call? It’s ok to let the caller say what they need to say without trying to be funny.
John Delony has said he has issues. Trying to be funny is his awkward attempt to establish rapport. He does it on every call and it always falls flat. He needs to stop doing it and just focus on the caller’s problem. He’s a good therapist, but he couldn’t to more to lose trust at the outset if he tried.
Yes, let the caller TALK first! Caller is already nervous ... one question, another question, another question ... !!
She has children too..... Bad
RUN
“How old is she?”, “she’s probably…” - Leave
This is all his fault. How dare he not take her in and marry her after all she has done for him. She's a queen and should be treated as such.......
Just kidding Mitch, change your number and tell her to kick rocks. Learn from this and respect yourself. Somebody that would carry on a complete lie for years doesn't deserve any of your time or sympathy.
Exactly. She wasted your time, thoughts, and emotions. She mailed led to waste a tremendous amount of energy. Don’t waste one more minute of your life 9n this situation.
6 years?! WOW..not gonna lie at first it sounded like a catfish to me. My heart just broke and sunk for him. This is the definition of wasting someone's time. When Dr. John asked "How old is she" and Mitch answered "She's probably..", the "she's probably" got to me--that is a BIG SIGN! Why would anyone lie about their age, childhood, past etc?? If you want a long, loving and meaningful relationship and something that leads to marriage, you need to be honest. I'm so sorry Mitch ❤️. Don't give up, your special someone is out there. YOU deserve the BEST!! And someone HONEST!!
These people can't be helped because they will never change.
I have a friend who is behaving like this guy. He insists the woman will marry him someday even though it has been 9 years and hundreds if not thousands of dollars later...... The capacity to lie to oneself is the bigger issue here
Very interesting Dr. John. Praying for all these couples who are facing these kind of problems
This isn't a couple, she is a liar and the relationship is invalid. I wouldn't ever speak to her again
She picked him for a reason. run run run!!
What's the issue? She lied with the basic things. Hence she can't be trusted. Break up and move on.
Run!
You need to drop that physco like a 🔥 🥔!
“Hi, I’m Kelly, but my friends call me Rhonda.” 😂
Also, why is he so cagey about their ages??
He's unsure he knows her real age because of how much she has lied to him. He didn't even know her real name. Unsure of her age, because he is literally unsure of her age.
This sounds so familiar. She lies, you forgive her, more lies, more suspicion, and then she has suicidal thoughts and depression.
God dude get out of it why do people put themselves through this
Men complicate their life and justify why
Peoples pickers are off and they chose people who don’t deserve to be chosen.
There's is two sides to this coin; the villian in the story and those willing to be a victim to the villian. It's a co-dependamt dynamic and in some twisted way they feed each other. If this guy doesn't wake up and leave after knowing the truth, he has no one else to blame but himself.
Not even getting laid out of it 😅
@KB Me = re: "God dude....." Do you often write to God first, when referring to others?!?
If you're in your forties and still not married, that's a huge red flag!. Unless of a death or divorce. How lonely of a life . 😮 In my day, people got married in their twenties, and stayed married 30 to 60 years. These last couple generations of people, don't do that anymore. very very very very very very sad life!.
He sounds down and out about being with her. He needs to let it go!
What a heart-breaking, miserable situation. Best to get out fast.
If anyone ever threatens or implies they are suicidal to make you scared to leave, this is what you do. You call an ambulance/police for a welfare check. That is the entire extent of your responsibility. If they're lying, they'll be embarrassed, if they're telling the truth, they will get help. Never let anyone steal your energy and compassion in this way, it's wicked.
He doesn’t sound like he has the strength to cut this crazy woman off. He is using her mental health as a reason to stay
that tip at the end to tell her therapist bout the impending breakup is great
How old is she she is probably really you don't know how old she is Yet she's your girlfriend.
I was thinking the same thing
Probably because she lied so much.
Man, when he said she lied about EVERYTHING he wasn't lying.
This is a question? Geez run dude
In this instance, I''m against writing a letter you're breaking up with. She's obviously disturbed and with social media, she would have his handwriting, could misconstrue what he said, share only snippets, and spread those lies far and wide. People have been bullied, harassed, have had to move, and had to go to court when social media is used as a weapon and it's the last thing this guy needs.
The reason he doesn't know her age is because she is a liar, and most woman lie about how old they are any ways.
She might be dangerous. If you are alone with her she could also hurt herself and tell the police you assaulted her. Don't be alone with her. Get a restraining order if needed. Don't break up with her in person. She conned you. You don't owe it to her to meet in person to break up.
I think this guy is tempted to stick around and "help" her and he's not ready for the breakup. Do it on the phone for some distance from her, otherwise manipulation will happen.
Yes and with someone with you. I wouldn't trust her. I could see her make stuff up about him
As an adult Who lies about themselves?!
He may be a decent guy but he’s a 100% Beta. At age 40, he should have established firm boundaries on Every Aspect in a Human Life.
Absolutely lose this woman. Trust us one of the essential keys in a relationship. Liars can NEVER be trusted.
Run for the hill buddy. God bless you for caring about her but get the heck out of there and move on with your life. It started on a lie it will never work
That is a tragic call.....
It sucks being around a compulsive lier. Nothing is real. It's all BS
This happened to me, also in my 40s. Total con, four years of my life. Ouch ouch ouch
Dude! Man up! C’mon!!! Why are there so many people that would rather be in a bad relationship instead of no relationship? No freaking thanks.
My ex husband is a compulsive liar. Unfortunately I met him when I was a very insecure, low confidence young lady. It started with little lies that I excused as misunderstandings. Then the lies became outlandish stories. He came to my work one day crying. He said he was devastated because he witnessed a horrible accident and ended up having to pull people out of a badly crashed car. The people died. I believed him because who makes stories up like that. But then I thought about it and did my research. There was no such accident to be found anywhere in the news he was completely clean when he came to my work. It was just so obvious a lie. So when I told him I was looking for it in the news he started flipping out on me. This craziness went on for years until I finally found the courage to leave. I felt as though I lived on the twilight zone. It’s scary not knowing what to believe. You can’t really know someone who lies that much. It’s impossible to feel secure and safe.
Sunk cost fallacy.
I was in a way more mild situation than the caller. Mine lasted a little bit less than 6 months and to me at the time it felt like forever, let alone 6 years...I'm in a younger age range, but it just saddens me that age knows no bounds. It sure is a scary world out there 😥