Our Teenage Years: Growing Up In Purity Culture

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 779

  • @daniellespelich3029
    @daniellespelich3029 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1110

    You guys don’t know how cathartic this is for those of us who also grew up in purity culture.

    • @HNAA2025
      @HNAA2025 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Do you think people should regret being pure?

    • @eheersink
      @eheersink 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @@HNAA2025 some do 🙋‍♀️

    • @lou_jane
      @lou_jane 3 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      @@HNAA2025 No, for some people its great and works for them. But those who do should be allowed to able to either regret it, feel abused by it, run through the emotions of how it impacted them, or whatever it is that they need to feel regardless of how beneficial it was for another person

    • @laurenmunday9092
      @laurenmunday9092 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      as someone who didn't, it's really eye opening. It's helping me understand where some of my friends come from and why they have different difficulties than me.

    • @nunpho
      @nunpho 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@HNAA2025 there's no such thing as 'pure' when it comes to our bodies. It's just another example of cult indoctrination.

  • @HailMB
    @HailMB 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2001

    Can we get an episode where your wives talk about their experiences in purity culture as women?

    • @joakuz
      @joakuz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +152

      That would be AMAZING! (If only their wives would feel comfortable sharing)

    • @shaunawanna7527
      @shaunawanna7527 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I love that idea

    • @smelliiee
      @smelliiee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      YES please

    • @popicalbubbles
      @popicalbubbles 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      YES I'D LOVE THAT

    • @KalebPeters99
      @KalebPeters99 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Guys you won't believe it but the episode that's out in a couple hours will feature their wives ahah

  • @lokisabriel
    @lokisabriel 3 ปีที่แล้ว +326

    The misogyny inherent in purity culture became alto clear to me during my brief flirtation with Evangelical Christianity as a teen. It was at a youth rally, a large well-known one held at a MegaChurch in Marietta, GA. At one point the pastor asked the boys in the audience to raise their hands if they wanted to marry a virgin, and when they did the pastor chuckled and stated "Look around, girls! Keep this in mind before you do anything!"
    There were no questions asked about what the girls would prefer or any admonishment to the boys to keep it in their pants until marriage.

    • @ainsmas361
      @ainsmas361 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Misogyny is a myth. Women want men with a future, men want woman with no past.
      Men want pure women that are loyal to them only
      Woman want experienced men that CHOSE them over others

    • @lilianab4756
      @lilianab4756 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      🤦‍♀️

    • @blubblubidk
      @blubblubidk ปีที่แล้ว +27

      The thing that boggles my mind is how women are expected to be virgins before marriage but men are expected to have expirience. Like... how can men have expirence before marriage if women are supposed to be virgins until marriage??? Like?!?!

    • @halatiny6537
      @halatiny6537 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@blubblubidkwe have to be unused like a new car. 😐

    • @pavelten1540
      @pavelten1540 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@blubblubidk well in Christian culture both are expected to virgins.

  • @joshmason179
    @joshmason179 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2503

    I didn't feel uncomfortable at all, the last episode was great, don't fret! Talking about this stuff openly is awesome - my view of you guys hasn't changed at all and really I just learned more about myself and sexuality from the last episode. Thanks!

    • @azucena315
      @azucena315 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      I like them even more now. :)

    • @GeorgianLlamas
      @GeorgianLlamas 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      i completely agree

    • @kathyhavelka7612
      @kathyhavelka7612 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Oh I learned a lot about myself from the last episode as well! I’ve recently figured out I’m on the Ace spectrum and looking at their experiences/feelings compared to mine it’s rather obvious

    • @SirFrederick
      @SirFrederick 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      The world needs more open communication

    • @crimsick155
      @crimsick155 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I think you mean "don't RHETT" vs "don't fret" 😂😂😂

  • @BMarie774
    @BMarie774 3 ปีที่แล้ว +748

    Waiting until you’re ready is fine. But when it becomes someone else or some other entity telling you you’ll be damned, you’re dirty, and a lesser human if you don’t..that’s when it’s not okay.

    • @Smorans
      @Smorans 3 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      I totally agree, I’ve known people that were on both sides, the ones who wanted to wait because it was their own feeling about it said they didn’t regret it at all, but the ones who came from not to dissimilar backgrounds to the guys here seemed to struggle with a lot of hangups later down the road

    • @nadanah183
      @nadanah183 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Totally agree.. It's the shame that miss people up and cause deep traumas

    • @cherrypitbliss
      @cherrypitbliss 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      100%

    • @amandadutcher5854
      @amandadutcher5854 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      And the fact that a lot of the focus is on the women is so disturbing.

    • @_penguin_9946
      @_penguin_9946 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      It’s just coercion

  • @josimarie777
    @josimarie777 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1492

    when they are talking about how their worried about people thinking differently about them.. i just respect them even more which i didn’t know i could. they are so wholesome all the time and they are finally opening up about such a “uncomfortable” topic.. which it shouldn’t be, but that’s besides the point. it’s not only entertaining but educational, insightful, and just all around important !! giving their perspective on such a topic is really cool to me. I LOVE YALL SO MUCH!

    • @cassandra1772
      @cassandra1772 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      perfectly said 👏🏻

    • @therapyseshpod
      @therapyseshpod 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Took them about 9 minutes to actually get into in this part 2…just to corroborate your comment ♥️

    • @azucena315
      @azucena315 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Agreed--so good. This one and the one before made a subscriber of me.

    • @yesleK8
      @yesleK8 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Agreed, absolutely.

    • @Noneofyourbyisness
      @Noneofyourbyisness ปีที่แล้ว

      @@therapyseshpod every episode lol

  • @Camochick924
    @Camochick924 3 ปีที่แล้ว +660

    These stories haven’t made me feel uncomfortable at all and I think it’s because everything they’ve said I could’ve already assumed about them. These seem like very normal experiences that most kids and teens and young adults go through. If anything, it makes me feel better about the things I experienced growing up!

    • @amberphillips6405
      @amberphillips6405 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Yes! Its important to talk about these things. No shame, less taboo. More healthy adults!

    • @sap9255
      @sap9255 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@amberphillips6405and healthy younger folks too

  • @niqhteyes
    @niqhteyes 3 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    As someone who grew up in a home where even using a tampon was frowned upon as it would "take my virginity", I kind of went the opposite way about it as you two. I rebelled, ran away at 16 and lived with my boyfriend at my "less religious" grandmother's home and needless to say, we were not abstinent. Fast-foward 13 years later and we're still together, married now, with a 6 year old daughter. It's nice to see other people coming to the same conclusions after taking very different paths in life. Keep doing y'all guys! I've been a fan for nearly a decade, now.

    • @syra1541
      @syra1541 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      glad things worked out for you!

    • @ChristianTurnes
      @ChristianTurnes 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Hold up there are people who actually discourage tampons!?? I thought that's just in Carrie that's screwed up

    • @niqhteyes
      @niqhteyes 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@ChristianTurnes oh yeah! It comes from the same people that don't allow their kids to watch Pokemon, Harry Potter, Spongebob, or Cartoon Network because it's all demonic. Like my grandma :)

    • @beepatpen
      @beepatpen ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ​@@ChristianTurnesI've discussed this a lot with my mother, I find it so interesting how tampons were treated, as if they were first bad due to virginity reasons, then due to TSS (the first tampons were ultra absorbent and that led to higher rates of toxic shock syndrome) and then it slowly shifted to a sort of view that if you don't use tampons as you get older (as in older than a teen) it's immature, or that it's grosser to use pads, and all of it really makes me realize that it's just that everything about a menstrual cycle is seen as shameful and gross and not just part of life.
      sorry for my mini tangent

  • @Rawwlefty
    @Rawwlefty 3 ปีที่แล้ว +472

    As an ex-vangelical myself
    These eps (and the spiritual deconstruction) have been profoundly resonant, cathartic and soothing
    Cheers

    • @HNAA2025
      @HNAA2025 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I’m curious what made you feel like God isn’t real to you anymore?

    • @Tricksterbelle
      @Tricksterbelle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@HNAA2025 I consider myself ex-vangelical and still Christian. I see it as that my God has not changed but my high priests have. And part of that process is examining and deconstructing the damage American Christian Culture has made personally & in society. In this case the utter commodification of ""purity""

    • @HNAA2025
      @HNAA2025 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      In your opinion being a man of God, what do you feel the church has done to damage the culture?

    • @mickelboy182
      @mickelboy182 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@HNAA2025 religion being batshit crazy nonsense doesn't help.

    • @Dre92vr4
      @Dre92vr4 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Same! I am an ex-evangelical pastor and I have LOVED these episodes!

  • @bluesilvahalo3576
    @bluesilvahalo3576 3 ปีที่แล้ว +426

    Anyone that didn't like what you said in the first ep or are judging you from it, shouldve taken heed of your multiple warnings about the content and not listened. Nothing said was wrong or over the top, just natural and very bravely honest. This series will help a lot of people and that's all that matters. Keep up the good work guy's! 👍

  • @sanazlol7433
    @sanazlol7433 3 ปีที่แล้ว +425

    As a awfully confused 17 year old i’ve been waiting for this for so long.

    • @zainabspall
      @zainabspall 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I love your pfp ☀️

  • @JoeGanja
    @JoeGanja 3 ปีที่แล้ว +427

    I’ve waited a week for this. No lie.

    • @justlikeheavenx
      @justlikeheavenx 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      that's crazy bc same here

    • @MG-op3cy
      @MG-op3cy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Same here

    • @JoeGanja
      @JoeGanja 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@justlikeheavenx I feel it. 🥲

    • @JoeGanja
      @JoeGanja 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Erikitosuave thank you.

    • @nicolassycamore
      @nicolassycamore 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      same,,, i desperately want to see their faces during this so i don’t wanna use spotify :’)

  • @dooql
    @dooql 3 ปีที่แล้ว +506

    you guys are doing such a great thing with this "project." it's not uncomfortable, it's life. experience and knowledge is to be shared. you will be helping sooooo many people by doing this

  • @snarkysquirrel
    @snarkysquirrel 3 ปีที่แล้ว +390

    i hope the responses will help you feel less worried about how the last episode was received. i actually suggested to my 6th grader that they listen to it because it was so honest and real and i thought that it might make things seem normal and relatable and help them avoid feeling like they cant talk about things or that they are weird for things they might think or feel.

    • @Adoubless
      @Adoubless 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      That’s a wonderful idea.

    • @nunpho
      @nunpho 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Normalising and educating is always a great idea :)

  • @LeaveNothingUnsaid
    @LeaveNothingUnsaid 3 ปีที่แล้ว +197

    As a woman who waited until marriage (my husband did too) who also grew up in hardcore purity culture, this is so relatable. Thankfully both my husband and I are deconstructing now, but this podcast has helped me realize so many things. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  • @shaeferpeterson4120
    @shaeferpeterson4120 2 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    despite thinking i had processed my religious trauma and how it related to my sexuality long ago, at 39:30 when rhett said “it’s biological, not because there’s something wrong with you” i burst into tears.
    i realized that at 25 years old, my deconstruction is still in progress.
    i had never watched a rhett and link video until i stumbled upon the a clip of the deconstruction videos on tik tok, immediately watched all of those and the updates, and am now working my way through this series. it has been extremely affirming and cathartic.

    • @S7ARV4D3R
      @S7ARV4D3R 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm also getting to these much later than most. I wasn't raised in an environment anywhere near what they were, but as someone who was raised a Catholic that would now not consider themselves one, there is a relation I can find between how i've felt in the past. Both in terms of dealing with a loss of belief but also in this series and the thoughts they had as teenage boys. It's nice to know you're not alone.
      That had nothing to do with your comment but reading it just made me feel happy knowing other people can feel such a cathartic feeling from it. Glad to see it helped you too.

  • @Crabby-Abby
    @Crabby-Abby 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    The "you better not" really hit me in the chest. I remember having SO much shame and guilt about the same thing, even writing down a promise that I would stop because I felt I was sinning, and it never worked. It was so hard and painful.

  • @joellammers1191
    @joellammers1191 3 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    Thank you guys for always being so inclusive of LGBTQ+ folks. And don't think just because you're straight, cis guys that we don't find parallels to our own experiences in the stories you're sharing! Rhett mentioned about the church viewing queer people's identity as invalid and not being acknowledged as anything but a sin and that's spot on for many of us who grew up in the church. I came across a quote from an LGBTQ+ activist and writer named Alexander Leon last year that has stuck with me because it's a perfect summation of what it's like growing up for many of us, both in the church and just in general. "Queer people don't grow up as ourselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimize humiliation and prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us and which parts we've created to protect us." It's definitely been my experience and is something that I still struggle with.

    • @sonyag5893
      @sonyag5893 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you for that quote.

    • @beezee1196
      @beezee1196 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      So true

    • @mfeezle424
      @mfeezle424 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Haha GAY

  • @udreadaniela4981
    @udreadaniela4981 3 ปีที่แล้ว +197

    Just want to say that being a confused young adult coming from the same conservative evangelical environment, i have been waiting for this episode to come out. It's nice to hear people talking about these experiences, as they are part of life. You don't need to feel stigma over opening up about this. I love that you had the courage to speak about this. Hugs :)

  • @DiscoSamurai
    @DiscoSamurai 3 ปีที่แล้ว +238

    Real conversations like these are sorely needed, so I'm proud and happy you decided to open yourselves up and be vulnerable for the sake of others. Commendable, both of ya! Well done.

  • @teenat511
    @teenat511 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Guys, regardless of your career, you are NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR AUDIENCES EMOTIONS!!!! You guys have been so clear about your purpose and intention with this series, if anyone gets offended or stops listening, it is a reflection of something within themselves they can't face, not a reflection of anything you said or did. ♥️♥️♥️

  • @saramichele7366
    @saramichele7366 3 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    I'm someone who was not raised in a religious household. Furthermore, I was never aware of anyone I knew saving themselves for marriage. So for me, this was fascinating since I've never known anyone who was raised in purity culture. Thank you for being open about this.

  • @yariicon
    @yariicon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +178

    coming from someone who watched you guys at the age of 16 and still now at 24, I absolutely loved last weeks episode! I’m so glad you guys have come such a long way in being comfortable to talk about such personal things with your fans.

    • @alyssamurphy3503
      @alyssamurphy3503 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same here! 26 been watching since 16 and this hasn’t changed a thing for me. Love the honesty and appreciate them being open with us :)

  • @lauratheexplorer1570
    @lauratheexplorer1570 3 ปีที่แล้ว +228

    you talking about this subject openly and in detail makes me feel more open about it and be more objective about the shame that I have been associating with it my entire life! im a 20 yo girl and idk why but subconsciously you hold authority in my mind because of your age and because I relate to you a lot, so thank you so much and keep sharing!

  • @5minutesofyourtime
    @5minutesofyourtime 3 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    I'm Christian and yes I am saving myself but I have to say the culture around purity is and was so damaging. Especially for people who had done things or had things done to them. For me I was assaulted at a very young age. This meant that all those deflower examples where just saying that's you no one will want you and it's been taken from. I believed this for years. Serving God out of guilt isn't serving out of love and relationship. Following Christ must be a choice. A change in attitude is needed in the Christian culture.

  • @sarahgiunta933
    @sarahgiunta933 3 ปีที่แล้ว +134

    I respect you guys MORE because of these discussions. Being able to be open and honest about things that the general public might not discuss regularly is such a great thing. We love to see it.
    Keep it up! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

  • @Crabby-Abby
    @Crabby-Abby 3 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    As an ex-christian who also grew up in purity culture, this is deeply cathartic. Thank you guys.

  • @el-is-odd
    @el-is-odd 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I was raised very Christian I'm not sure what kind specifically but I also hit puberty at 8 years old. I'm also queer and nonbinary. The experience of being torn inside in every single way was devastating to me as a child and still effects me daily. Of course I'm working hard on myself and going through everything I can to make life better for me. But when there's so much stacked on top of you when you're so young and fragile there's going to be permanent damage. I hope everyone finds the happiness and love they deserve ❤

  • @LeTellyPie
    @LeTellyPie 3 ปีที่แล้ว +160

    This honestly was such a great choice for earbiscuits, the direction Rhett and Link are going, I'm so hyped for the future 🌟

    • @Nooticus
      @Nooticus 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      100%

  • @rneercats4574
    @rneercats4574 3 ปีที่แล้ว +125

    Hey y'all, the first installment of sextember was amazing for its vulnerability. I appreciate how openly you guys have talked about your sexperiances. Thank you guys.

  • @mstumpe91
    @mstumpe91 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    I'm a 30 year old female atheist. I spent the first 2 decades of my life in a heavily religious environment and a lot of these sayings and experiences you had growing up related to my own childhood. Thank you for making this episode!

  • @wh0aheavy
    @wh0aheavy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +135

    I'm really loving this. The earnestness with which you talk about these things makes me want to come along for the ride. And as a 35 year old bisexual female from the Midwest I actually find myself identifying with much of what you guys have been discussing.

    • @sarad9333
      @sarad9333 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      As a 35 yo bisexual female who is also from the midwest, I agree.

    • @wackybrattyx
      @wackybrattyx 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      As a 27 year old who grew up in a sexually conservative culture and family, and only realized my bisexuality recently, I too agree. 😂

  • @laurenmunday9092
    @laurenmunday9092 3 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    These discussions are SO SO SO important. The fact that you, two well respected content makers, are discussing it in a very plain and easy way is the best thing you could do. Tearing down the taboos means everything is safer for everyone!

  • @rob-dq7sv
    @rob-dq7sv 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    19:27 ours was used sneakers. And they aimed it mostly towards the girls. They told us a man is not going to want to marry you if you aren't a virgin just like you wouldn't want to buy to buy used sneakers because they're dirty, smell bad, wrinkled, stretched out. Pretty sick stuff to tell young kids.

    • @beepatpen
      @beepatpen ปีที่แล้ว +4

      that's so disgusting. These metaphors are so.. vulgar it feels very weird to refer to people in that way and especially to children/teens.

  • @FLOridaM.o.m
    @FLOridaM.o.m 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I felt so heartbroken for that little boy that felt so much guilt he had to write on his ceiling. I appreciate how open and honest you both have been in all these episodes. It does good to normalize these topics and display men being vulnerable. Thank you for allowing people with similar backgrounds to connect and for allowing those with very different backgrounds to learn.

  • @EriDesVids
    @EriDesVids 3 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    "God HAS to be getting tired of this." I love Link.

  • @mikailagray
    @mikailagray 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    In high school my English teacher has a book called “the Purity Myth” and while I was a teen disciple it really helped me understand why I didn’t buy into purity culture and why I thought father daughter purity balls and stuff was weird. Now almost 10 years later I still recommend it to any person who wants a easy to digest quick read about how purity culture effects religious and non religious people and brings lots of harm to people.

  • @Lucy.lovesdancing
    @Lucy.lovesdancing 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    I didnt know in USA some teenagers would have to deal with purity culture. I grew up in Asia culture and its pretty much the same everywhere, regardless of religion. Sexuality is not something people talked about. Especially as a female I was constantly in fear of people judging me for my sexuality.
    Thank you for sharing about this topic. It showed how much we are similar than we are different, even if we are from different culture.

  • @Amberkeke
    @Amberkeke 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    As a healing, ex- evangelical Christian who grew up in the 90's and 00's purity movement, ring and all, this was so relatable, cathartic and great to hear you guys unpack. Thanks for being even more relatable, if that's even possible!

  • @Grymgar
    @Grymgar 3 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    Also not to get too graphic but I think some people eventually turn their feeling of shame into a kink... doing things clandestinely can be really hot for some people and I find it ironic how that can be borne out of their parents, family and community trying to de-sexify their minds xD

  • @silvarado187
    @silvarado187 3 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    I've been watching GMM for over 5 years. There were times that I took a break from the show, because Rhett seemed almost angry, and there were definitely bouts of toxic masculinity that turned me off of the show. He's evolved so much. Now, he's a brilliant, self-aware human who is far more sensitive to other people's plights than the vast majority. If he isn't already, he should be so incredibly proud of the beautiful person he has become.
    Gentlemen, thank you for sharing your honest experiences. I think many young people will benefit from these open conversations.

    • @Vodkasharky
      @Vodkasharky 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      🥺 someone else had the same take away. I never stopped watching. But I certainly had a hard time for a while. The past year-3 years both have certainly gone above and beyond to learn.
      And the cool thing is they know you constantly learn until you are done with life and it’s the end. And I think that’s cool to always learn something new.
      But you have an amazing comment!!!

    • @user-px9zy2pw5z
      @user-px9zy2pw5z 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I’ve been watching since 2010 and I’m happy for Rhetts evolution since then. I think as his kids grew up he gained more perspective on when to be sensitive to certain topics.

    • @Sevren_
      @Sevren_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Toxic masculinity? When?

    • @lynnelee5517
      @lynnelee5517 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I've watched the whole time, I've never seen any toxic masculinity from either or these men. At all.

  • @LolliGiggles
    @LolliGiggles 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I totally understand the hesitation for you guys - but as a long time watcher, I don’t feel that my perceptions or feelings about the two of you have changed at all. I deeply respect the honesty and feel honored to hear more about your lives and to relate to them

  • @bigredfreak2
    @bigredfreak2 3 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Its quite refreshing hearing your experiences. We don’t normally have these sort of conversations.

  • @WillzzBillzzYT
    @WillzzBillzzYT 3 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    just wanna say that As a queer person, i very much appreciate these conversations and i appreciate that R+L have taken into consideration what queer people go through and how it differs and is MUCH more damaging than it was to a cis het male. also, before anyone tries to jump on them for using the word "queer", i actually find it really validating to hear two cis het guys bring up queer people as a part of the conversation in this manner. thanks R+L. i'm not usually an ear biscuits listener (mainly i just watch GMM), but i'm really enjoying this month's episodes!

    • @DemonLord_D
      @DemonLord_D 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Okay I think I know what cis means but what does het mean?

    • @WillzzBillzzYT
      @WillzzBillzzYT 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@DemonLord_D ah its just short for heterosexual lol

    • @MrE_
      @MrE_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@DemonLord_D what is cis?

    • @nyumyu4265
      @nyumyu4265 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@MrE_ you identify as the gender you were assigned at birth and your not transgender

    • @WillzzBillzzYT
      @WillzzBillzzYT 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@MrE_ short for cisgender, which is essentially just someone who is not transgender.

  • @Leahmichele_
    @Leahmichele_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I’m so glad someone is talking about the toxicity of purity culture on the internet. So refreshing.

  • @Jzz100
    @Jzz100 3 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    Link: "God has to be getting tired of this."
    Rhett: (Nods head)
    Link: "Im getting tired of this!"
    Rhett: "He's gonna smite you."
    🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

  • @twiddless
    @twiddless 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    I love how I have grown up with these guys, I know a lot of people have, I was 12 when I first started watching them and now I'm 20, shits crazy

  • @vsaturated
    @vsaturated 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I do see you differently after hearing this but in a good way ! It makes me feel like this is more like a community where we can have open discussion which is nice :)

  • @emilydevine8278
    @emilydevine8278 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I am 31 and I have been binge watching your content because over the past few years I have gone through my own acceptance of my deconstruction. I have never related more to stories. Specifically Link and his relationship. I came to this point with my first boyfriend very similar to what Link described. When I ended the relationship it brought on a lot of my deconstruction and now years later facing the magnitude of the trauma, I guess. Just seeing how complex this shift truly is, rewriting my brain. My ex has gone on to be a pastor and now I am just a piece of his testimony where he fell to temptation and it only hurts because I see how unaware he is of how much he has limited himself for the sake of his faith and not in a judgmental way but it in a deeply pained way that was a person I loved immensely. I am not sure why I am commenting this but it was just such a deeply resonate story so thank you.

  • @susie6559
    @susie6559 3 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    as a woman who wants to avoid hormonal birth control because of the symptoms, it’s comforting knowing you guys were perfectly fine using condoms well into your marriages and (i assume) not pressuring your wives to take on the burden of birth control

    • @nicolassycamore
      @nicolassycamore 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      they did get vasectomies (together) and they went into that in those episodes of gmm+more :3

    • @susie6559
      @susie6559 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@nicolassycamore i know, i’m talking about before they did that, i also really admire that they were happy to get vasectomies instead of leaving the burden on their wives 💕

    • @nicolassycamore
      @nicolassycamore 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      @@susie6559 ahh i see. yeah ive seen ppl describe them as male characters written by women and im bound to agree lmaoooo

    • @susie6559
      @susie6559 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@nicolassycamore ikr, i don’t want to put them on a pedestal for their own sake but they really are such admirable people

    • @lilaa6833
      @lilaa6833 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      THIS! Is so comforting to see real men, like existing men, willing to share the responsibility of birth control instead of throwing it all on their partners

  • @Chuppy23
    @Chuppy23 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Rhett, I could literally listen to you talk about the amazing-ness of the woman’s body all dang day lmfaooo, keep it uppppp!!!

  • @janelleelizabeth
    @janelleelizabeth 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    If they’re going to be on the phone - I would really love to hear Jessie and Christie’s perspective on purity culture and how they feel now after their deconstruction (At least Jessie not sure what Christie still believes)

  • @jacquibourdeau8835
    @jacquibourdeau8835 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I watched “Pray Away” that Rhett recommended a few episodes back and it really mirrored this episode in the experiences people from a Christian background had with sexuality. I appreciate that Rhett and Link acknowledged how challenging that atmosphere was and still is for LGBTQ+ folks.

  • @keltiowens5609
    @keltiowens5609 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    These episodes are amazing. You can tell your background is coming out and creating the hesitation and anxiety about what you said. I think that because many people talk about these things so openly and regularly that they would never feel that way. Rhett and Link, your development is totally normal. Don’t feel any sort of fear or shame. Thanks for sharing because this will help someone.

  • @carebow
    @carebow 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    For what it’s worth.. I am a christian woman a little under 30, grew up in the purity culture and stayed “pure” until I got married earlier this year. Being a mythical beast for 7 years now, nothing makes me feel more related to you guys than this earbiscuit series. The honesty, the guilt, the worldview, etc. So thank you🤙🏻

  • @christiandicus
    @christiandicus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Growing up in purity culture myself, I relate to everything they said. It’s comforting to hear these experiences were not only my own. It took me so many years to open up about this with my parents even. I am loving this series.

  • @emmycooper3906
    @emmycooper3906 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I grew up completely different. What i felt was natural and their are safe ways to go about it. My mom got me a toy so i didnt need the real thing for a long time, and put me on birth control when i got my first boyfriend. He was allowed to spend the night because she knew if it didnt happen at home then we'd do it somewhere else. Nothing was shameful about it. This really makes me appreciate how open and educated this topic was in my house.

    • @kkilinahe
      @kkilinahe 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      completely seriously, how did the convo w/ your mom re: getting a toy go? i want one, i want to get it on my own, i've been trying to figure out how clandestine i need to be when i go out to buy it and hide it in my room lol

    • @emmycooper3906
      @emmycooper3906 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@kkilinahe Honestly she gave it to me i was 12 i belive and she talked to me about the birds and the bees and used it as a visual haha then gave it to me. The pros of it are
      •no worry of STDs
      •helps prevent teen pregnancy
      •didnt rush into a relationship for the desire
      • and a less crancky teenager 😆

    • @emmycooper3906
      @emmycooper3906 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@kkilinahe also Spencers sells them haha

    • @nyumyu4265
      @nyumyu4265 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That’s a beautiful trusting relationship ❤️

  • @peacelovetv95
    @peacelovetv95 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I really appreciate yall's perspective on this. I also grew up in purity culture, with required abstinence only education at my Catholic school, and I've heard a lot of people talk about their experiences, but yall's stories have been the most relatable to me. My faith was very important to me and I knew that the teachings were from a place of love, and so I accepted them without thinking much of it, without challenging it. It is crazy to look back on it now that I'm older and realize how damaging it was to me long-term. And to hear it from people I've been a fan of for many, many years means that much more. Looking forward to the future episodes!

  • @ZoesZoo
    @ZoesZoo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    I wonder where Link's girlfriend (the one he spoke about in this ep) is now and if she's had a similar spiritual journey as Link, or if she's still back there spiritually.

  • @Joenem3611
    @Joenem3611 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    As someone who grew up like you guys did and is still a Christian but no longer conservative or believing of really any of the stuff I was taught as a kid, I really look forward to hearing from you guys on topics like these. I still struggle to find people who really understand what it's like to be "better" now but having been a tween/teenager raised in conservative values. I appreciate this.

  • @MrDjinn227
    @MrDjinn227 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Dont worry boys. Its actually very refreshing to hear both your prospective on this (or any other) topic! Nothing but love and respect for the both of you!

  • @MoltandMigrate
    @MoltandMigrate 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Never thought I'd hear y'all talk about post-nut clarity, but as a product of indoctrination and purity culture, I feel you.

  • @ibettcruz8770
    @ibettcruz8770 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    You guys were so honest !! Dont worry about anyone else criticizing!! These videos will help a lot of young people out there going through the same struggles ! 😄😄 Love you both !

  • @creativewriter1000
    @creativewriter1000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Thank you for acknowledging the experiences of LGBTQ teens, too. It adds a whole other layer of shame, turmoil, suppression and self-hatred to growing up in a purity culture. But it's so liberating and joyful to not feel that way as an adult.

  • @LiLLaLa707
    @LiLLaLa707 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    It is refreshing to hear people with such a huge platform be so open and honest about their own experiences.
    I genuinely appreciate this series!!

  • @anitatereszczuk3967
    @anitatereszczuk3967 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    If my views on you guys changed after this episode, they would only become more positive. Huge respect for talking about those topics in a such a informative and responsible way. Hearing your perspective is, I think, very valuable. Especially for younger people who grow up in this kind of culture and can't rely on their parents to explain those things to them

  • @celestialpotato7392
    @celestialpotato7392 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I know I'm coming in here way after the fact, but I love your guys honest vulnerability. As someone who came from a very strict and repressive religious background these conversations have been super relatable and actually healing.

  • @snea8397
    @snea8397 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Don’t worry y’all are doing great!! I’ve been watching for seven years (from ages 13-20) and I feel like a large part of your audience has grown and tagged along with you, these kinds of things need to be de stigmatized and y’all are going about it in such a personal down to earth manner and I think that’s great, I haven’t felt uncomfortable watching these at all, keep going!!!

  • @RebellePuella
    @RebellePuella 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I love this! Coming from the Bible Belt myself I think this conversation (series) is important. Thank you guys for being so open!

  • @rhi91
    @rhi91 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    really love this series, none of it made me uncomfortable and I loved the honesty and being able to relate to and understand these experiences! links observation about the connections between the 60s free love movement and the panic after it was so astute and interesting

  • @bonita1228
    @bonita1228 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Finally! The wait between the podcast and video is too long in this series. The honesty is amazing.

  • @ellemm
    @ellemm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I look forward to hearing what your wives have to say. The harm the church has done and continues to do, especially to those ppl who aren't cis male, fills me with rage, so I had to listen to this in parts.

  • @LifeofDayy
    @LifeofDayy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    As someone in your age group who grew up in purity culture, thank you SO much for making these videos. My deconstruction started many years ago but I’m still stunned when I realize how many things I’m still processing and learning about myself. So many a-ha moments during these episodes. Keep it up guys!

  • @AKTROOPER1
    @AKTROOPER1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I’m so glad someone finally talked about this. Since this is a private topic people tend to not talk about it and it is a huge problem

  • @nafeesahtynetta
    @nafeesahtynetta 3 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    I don’t get why someone would judge you for telling your honest story that most ppl can relate to.

  • @mariabuck3166
    @mariabuck3166 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I was not uncomfortable at all when Rhett talked about vaginas. As a woman, it’s very refreshing hearing a man talking highly and being mesmerized from first look of a woman’s anatomy.

  • @badazzledhippo6010
    @badazzledhippo6010 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I grew up in this same culture and had the same experience with my husband so this episode really hit me in the gut. Especially when you discussed the double standard and the concept of “no one wants this chewed up gum”. It brought me right back to my teenage years and I’m just now dealing with the trauma that came with that stuff. Thank you for being so open and offering up a new perspective. ❤️

  • @mothturtle7897
    @mothturtle7897 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Looking forward to this episode since purity culture is not something I've ever personally experienced

  • @Molliecule95
    @Molliecule95 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I respect and appreciate you two. As someone who grew up in the evangelical Christian community, I relate to so much of what you share. Thank you for sharing and keeping up with this mini series.

  • @aestheticandchilled
    @aestheticandchilled ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I grew up in purity culture and it was so detrimental to my mental health going into my teen years. As an adult now, it is so amazing to see people talking about this. Thank you so.

  • @andimercado815
    @andimercado815 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    When link says “lay the pipe” I choked a little 😂 but I love this series guys!!!!

    • @LifeofDayy
      @LifeofDayy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lol I cackled at that too! 😅

    • @INC408
      @INC408 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I was looking for this comment 😂 l love Link

  • @etherealsoliloquy
    @etherealsoliloquy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    As a girl who went to Christian school my whole life and was taught purity culture as part of the curriculum, hearing all this is genuinely so helpful and cathartic

  • @celestinaanderson3979
    @celestinaanderson3979 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I love when our boys talk candidly about their lives. It's too bad that they have to give such powerful disclaimers about who might get offended. Can't wait to hear Christy and Jessie!

  • @snowwhite3794
    @snowwhite3794 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    In the 90s I was raised in the church and Christian school (I no longer call myself a Christian as well), we have a few things in common, one thing were all the same ideologies. The biggest thing I remember being a big influence, was the alternative and Ska Christian concerts that preached between songs.......man, I realize I have blocked a lot of that. This is actually a therapeutic moment 😃
    Edit to say- I am here for Sextember to continue until it naturally is done

  • @courtneymerson8980
    @courtneymerson8980 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    As a boy mom I was so thankful for your podcast. I feel more prepared for the future years to come and understand what he will go through one day. It has opened up my mind to future discussions I (or his dad) will have with him to make him comfortable about himself!

  • @timbsm
    @timbsm ปีที่แล้ว +1

    As someone that came from a very similar upbringing and went through the same changes as an adult, I hope you guys truly value each other and your relationship. It is a gift and I wish I'd had someone to go through it with. I'm extremely jealous of your openness and honesty as my circumstances have not permitted me to be those things. Thanks for these videos.

  • @azhurelpigeon
    @azhurelpigeon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This was such an honest & touching conversation. Link’s story about his Ex makes me so sad, purity culture is so so toxic. Marriage isn’t just a document being signed. Marriage is a unity, a unity made through love.

  • @AudreyisBatman
    @AudreyisBatman 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Genuinely, thank you guys for this series. I also grew up in purity culture and it has majorly affected me. It’s so great to hear y’all’s perspective. Love the open content.

  • @carmiezaya9849
    @carmiezaya9849 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I really appreciate the openness and honesty! It reminded me of my experience growing up and made me feel normal

  • @kaitlynj.7389
    @kaitlynj.7389 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you guys for taking the time to discuss this topic. It takes a lot to be venerable and talk about your own thoughts, feelings, experiences etc. especially on the internet. You have in no way made us uncomfortable or unhappy with you during this discussion. This topic is very serious and unfortunately hasn't been more openly discussed without fear. Thank you for giving your insight and knowledge, I appreciate everything you've said and how open you have been with us. We love and appreciate ya'll so much 😊❤

  • @TheVictorianKMedia
    @TheVictorianKMedia 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Love these episodes. I also grew up in purity culture, had a purity ring, signed the little papers, attended the conferences... Hearing others talk about it in a non-glorified and exposed, honest way is so cathartic.

  • @Stellatus.mp3
    @Stellatus.mp3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’m so thankful that I stumbled into this episode. Growing up in the Mormon church is incredibly similar to what you’ve described here. I’ve only recently started to come to terms with the trauma that this culture caused me, and finally hearing another first-hand account is deeply validating in a way that I don’t think I’ve experienced before. Finally understanding for myself that I’m not alone is incredibly powerful. If you guys somehow end up reading this, thank you for sharing

  • @CapitalCCapitalC
    @CapitalCCapitalC 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I have definitely been left with listening blue balls. Can't wait to hear the wives stories.

  • @Skweet
    @Skweet 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    You dont understand the weight lifted off my shoulder. The taking turns in the bathroom thing with a friend to look out is so relatable

  • @suzannetruax3871
    @suzannetruax3871 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I was aware of purity culture and always thought that it was absurd as well as psychologically damaging. But I have to tell you that listening to your experiences made me feel so awful for both your younger selves and who you are now, still dealing with shame and guilt that shouldn't exist. I am so happy that you escaped that world and hope that every day you can leave behind another piece of the baggage they saddled you with. I wish for you both a life without shame.

    • @joshuawilliams2487
      @joshuawilliams2487 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well frankly everyone should be ashamed of their sins. It’s what leads to repentance. If you are not ashamed of your sins then you neglect God and all that he did to achieve our salvation (for believers).

  • @GabrielWolfe
    @GabrielWolfe 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I left a comment on the last video talking about how appreciative I feel that you guys are talking about this subject. It's amazing that you are sharing these memories and experiences with us. I would hate to think you both walk away from this with regret or shame. I sincerely hope that doesn't happen. I want to believe that your audience, myself included, is accepting and welcoming. I firmly believe that this subject should be talked about and treated like a normal thing because it *IS.* The bottom line is that you guys are not everyone's keeper, you're not responsible for everyone who has ever listened to or watched you. Tell your truths, don't hold back if you don't want to.

  • @coleenruque
    @coleenruque 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I'm really glad that they are willing to talk about this because most people won't. This could also help some of the teens watching because of topics like this being sheltered subject.

  • @Ogreletmama
    @Ogreletmama 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    So i did not grow up in a purity culture, however my husband and i were both virgins when we got married at 23 & 24. My reasons for doing so was that i had other things to accomplish than to worry about diseases, or pregnancy, and the BEST way to avoid issues was to simply abstain. Neither my husband nor i regret it for a single second.

  • @AllTheArtsy
    @AllTheArtsy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I'm almost 30 so nothing here is shocking. I'm just glad they're opening up about this and being candid.

  • @kennyspillz
    @kennyspillz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    this project is allowing a beautiful openness and vulnerability among the mythical beasts and to rhett and link. it feels like a whole new chapter in our growth with this channel and podcast!