Woah, you were a music major?! I'm majoring in Music Theory/Literature right now and it's so cool to see other people out there who were also music majors 😁
This is such health advice! And yes, totally relatable. There are a lot of patterns I recognize in myself as well, especially in my marriage. But at the same time I feel like I'm aware way more than a couple of years ago and all in all struggle less, which I'm pretty sure watching your videos for many years now has helped a lot! I've been married 4 years and started watching your videos while still dating.
That means so much to hear - THANK YOU for sharing that!!❤️❤️ it’s amazing how the more aware we become, the more layers we can see that need to heal!😂 or at least that’s been true for me!
Good to have specific examples so readers can gauge. A lot of videos under such title don’t have specific examples and can be very confusing - one do need to walk away from disrespectful situations and cannot be considered sabotaging. This could be used a victim blaming some times. But this video avoided those trap.
Awesome video (as you said last week it would be!). Funny thing...during my career, the times I was most stridently absolutely positively certain that I was right turned out to be the times I was wrong. Go figure! So at work, and in my marriage, I had to learn to hit the pause button when I got into that I'M RIGHT! place and really think about it and listen to the other person involved. As to taking jabs at someone else, I think we've all seen those couples, and it's sad. Because as much as the person taking jabs may say, "Just kidding!" and the other person may shrug and laugh it off--we all know that that behavior is HOSTILE. Sometimes downright abusive. All your points are good, starting with ditching the expectation that your romantic partner, if s/he REALLY loves you, should just KNOW what you're thinking and what you want. Waiting for the Vulcan mind-meld to happen and being resentful or disappointed when it doesn't (which it won't) is definitely a way to sabotage a relationship!
Oh wow that’s such great advice about taking a moment to pause at the “I’m right” place!! I definitely relate to being dead wrong when I thought I was totally right. Thank you for sharing these insights!!
What you said sounds like my family and me. We had been having the same arguments, fights, over and over, and it hasn't gotten better. I get defensive like them, and it is exhausting. I asked myself am I going to do this if I get into a relationship or married? I do want to get us get healed.
That does sound exhausting! That’s such a good insight to be able to recognize that! It’s hard to navigate this in our families of origin too. Counseling (and even a wise mentor) can be so helpful for figuring that out too, and healing and learning about ourselves ❤️❤️
You were a music major!!! I must have not been paying attention to whether you have said this before, but I never knew that! I discovered your channel back when I was a music major in college. 😄
Please please please look at the myers briggs personality types. It's way more informative than the enneagram and I can see alot of the ways of thinking that explain your possible personalities. I'd love to know how you both type. I'm an INFJ :)
I love seeing your notifications show up!
Awww!!! That makes me so happy!!! Ty!!
I missed how we want the person only for us and how we can be jealous and toxic...
Ohhh That’s a great one to include!!
It seems like this video was made based on my life. Thank-you for helping me be a better person in a relationship.
I’m so glad it could help!! It sounds like we’ve had some similar experiences ❤️❤️
Woah, you were a music major?! I'm majoring in Music Theory/Literature right now and it's so cool to see other people out there who were also music majors 😁
No way!! That’s so cool!! Yes I did my undergrad in music and piano pedagogy, and grad school in music therapy!
This is such health advice! And yes, totally relatable. There are a lot of patterns I recognize in myself as well, especially in my marriage.
But at the same time I feel like I'm aware way more than a couple of years ago and all in all struggle less, which I'm pretty sure watching your videos for many years now has helped a lot! I've been married 4 years and started watching your videos while still dating.
That means so much to hear - THANK YOU for sharing that!!❤️❤️ it’s amazing how the more aware we become, the more layers we can see that need to heal!😂 or at least that’s been true for me!
Definitely true for me as well! And thank you soooo much for all the work you're doing!
Good to have specific examples so readers can gauge. A lot of videos under such title don’t have specific examples and can be very confusing - one do need to walk away from disrespectful situations and cannot be considered sabotaging. This could be used a victim blaming some times. But this video avoided those trap.
That’s a great point!! Thank you for adding that clarification 🙌❤️
Awesome video (as you said last week it would be!). Funny thing...during my career, the times I was most stridently absolutely positively certain that I was right turned out to be the times I was wrong. Go figure! So at work, and in my marriage, I had to learn to hit the pause button when I got into that I'M RIGHT! place and really think about it and listen to the other person involved. As to taking jabs at someone else, I think we've all seen those couples, and it's sad. Because as much as the person taking jabs may say, "Just kidding!" and the other person may shrug and laugh it off--we all know that that behavior is HOSTILE. Sometimes downright abusive. All your points are good, starting with ditching the expectation that your romantic partner, if s/he REALLY loves you, should just KNOW what you're thinking and what you want. Waiting for the Vulcan mind-meld to happen and being resentful or disappointed when it doesn't (which it won't) is definitely a way to sabotage a relationship!
Oh wow that’s such great advice about taking a moment to pause at the “I’m right” place!! I definitely relate to being dead wrong when I thought I was totally right. Thank you for sharing these insights!!
What you said sounds like my family and me. We had been having the same arguments, fights, over and over, and it hasn't gotten better. I get defensive like them, and it is exhausting. I asked myself am I going to do this if I get into a relationship or married? I do want to get us get healed.
That does sound exhausting! That’s such a good insight to be able to recognize that! It’s hard to navigate this in our families of origin too. Counseling (and even a wise mentor) can be so helpful for figuring that out too, and healing and learning about ourselves ❤️❤️
Definitely understand the "little jabs" that are technically insults and put downs. That's a definite red flag in my book.
As well it should be. It’s one of Lundy Bancroft’s early warning signs of future abuse.
Yes totally!! Such a good thing to be aware of! Too many of us just laugh them off instead of taking them for the red flag they are.
@@TiffanyDawn Exactly! Never dated someone like that, thankfully!
You were a music major!!! I must have not been paying attention to whether you have said this before, but I never knew that! I discovered your channel back when I was a music major in college. 😄
No way!! 😂😂 I love that connection!! Yes I did my undergrad in music and piano pedagogy, and then got my masters in music therapy!
@@TiffanyDawn Nice! Mine was in music education and euphonium performance. 😊 Music is the best!
Please please please look at the myers briggs personality types. It's way more informative than the enneagram and I can see alot of the ways of thinking that explain your possible personalities. I'd love to know how you both type. I'm an INFJ :)
100% agree, and I’m a borderline INTJ/INFJ!
Very cool!!! I haven’t done a lot of reading on the Myers Briggs but I can imagine it would be very helpful!😍😍
❤❤thank you
These things have all been said on this channel before. I remembered all of them. This video is just recycled material.