I'm starting a faith-based business that manufactures dental care products. Our slogan's gonna be "though your teeth be like scarlett, they shall be white as snow".
"The rule in my youth group was 'you can't have a girlfriend if you don't have a job. No job no girlfriend.' Until I asked him 'wait, what if I got two jobs?' " "Then you're a Mormon." That killed me. Hahahahahaha 😹😹😹
funny thing is, this is a completely true statement. It came during a "Man Up" series. College and 20-somethings guys need a little slap in the face every now and then! :)
Trickee- I’m sure it is true. I just have a problem with Christians giving Mormons a hard time about Polygamy because Old Testament prophets practiced it as well. Couldn’t he have said, “or you might have been an Abraham.” No, because it would be offending a prophet of God. It’s so much more fun offending another faith that people seem to have a hard time believing it is truly a Christian faith.
That frisbee golf one was actually pretty good. I don't generally go for their kind of comedy, but ...that was pretty good. I do, however, appreciate what they are doing: in creating a little bit of laughter in such a dark world.
Whoever wrote the song easy like Sunday morning didn't take his kids to church on a regular basis.. man that's right! And what if I get two jobs? Then you're a mormon. The best!
"Whoever wrote the song, 'Easy Like Sunday Morning,' didn't take his kids to church on a regular basis.... Git in the car! We're going to go worship God." Needed a laugh today and these two were just what the doctor ordered. :-)
This--Is---Golden!!!! Too far with the fart joke,.... but he said what we were thinking, hate those bumper stickers lol! "Easy Like Sunday Morning joke really got me, hilarious!!!! I'd never heard of Tim Hawkins before, both super funny!!!!
anx365 Perhaps. It's about 3:30 in the afternoon, and I think most of this is pretty funny. Not fall on the floor funny, but I've got a smirk on my face.
Sarah Irvin it’s all in light hearted jest. Most jokes are offensive to at least one person you just got to understand that it’s comedy and not to take it too seriously
I couldn't tell, either....I keep thinking he says horror scope or horse scat or something along those lines....makes no sense....Also, I don't get the nine iron woods thing or mall clipboard....
@DaGerminator There is an actual sport called Frisbee golf where you throw a Frisbee out until you can hit it in a special container that acts as the hole. Pretty popular here in Abilene, TX thanks to the three universities here. Fling a 9 iron, it's gonna spin like a Frisbee. In terms of the clipboard, many people who are at the mall with a clipboard are usually those who want to stop people and have them do surveys or maybe a petition for something they represent. Most people tend to walk away from those people.
DaGerminator Eh, he cut himself off cause he couldn't finish the sentence without laughing. I think he was gonna say "and" but when you blow out laughing, you never know what's gonna come out of your mouth.
John went to the Holy land with Joy. She said, "Nabisco moved their production line to Nazareth for the holiday season they are making "Cheezits of Nazareth". A street gang of Palestinians were protesting and pushed John Crest to the ground. Joy pulled a gun out of her fake bible & made the Palestinian gang get into a water trough where she water-boarded them. John said stop that torture of the Palestinians. Joy said why don't you join them & she pointed her gun & pushed him in the trough and water-boarded the bunch of them. Joy said there is nothing better than Christians & Muslims sharing their Holiday experiences.
Sooooo, Mr Crist needs to speak clearer and a bit louder. I know his tweets were funny because Tim was cracking up, but I couldn’t understand them no matter how many times I listened. (sigh-getting older is no fun at all so far)
I don't what's funnier- John Crist's one liners, or that he just tickles himself with his jokes
Some of my friends and I are starting a Christian band called "Lid". We're going to be a cover band for skillet.
That's awesome!
Well done man, you made a pun so good some people won't get it. Those are the best kind. 👆
yeeessssss
Awesome, I love skillet
@Dean I didn't realize the pun until I read your commet
My two ABSOLUTE FAVORITE Christian comedian's.
Lets Have Fun They're not Christian comedians. They're comedians that are Christians.
Cygamer Not really. So much of their material is about Christianity that they're essentially Christian comedians.
Quinn Cosens Tim himself said that there was no such thing as a Christian comedian. They are comedians that are Christians.
Who cares if they are Christian comedians or comedians that are Christian. They are hilarious and love how he laughs at his own jokes!
I know this is an old comment, but I gotta add Trey Kennedy and Jake Triplett to this group of hilarious Christian men!💖🖤
I'm starting a faith-based business that manufactures dental care products. Our slogan's gonna be "though your teeth be like scarlett, they shall be white as snow".
I love that you cracked up at your own tweets before saying them, John.
As much as I love both of them, my favorite part of these videos is John getting tickled at himself. 😂
The best humor is this. Doesn't need to curse. Or be political.
right
Nor perverted!
Unless it's Johnathan Pie
"If we go down, I don't want my dead body caught listening to Justin Bieber"...LOL!!
I love that John laughs at his own jokes! They are wicked funny!
Both of these guys are great comedians. Tim Hawkins is as good, and better, than any comic I've ever heard.
"The rule in my youth group was 'you can't have a girlfriend if you don't have a job. No job no girlfriend.' Until I asked him 'wait, what if I got two jobs?' "
"Then you're a Mormon."
That killed me. Hahahahahaha 😹😹😹
So true
Cool now I have two jobs.
Just me? Studio C? No? K.
Good thing this was a joke.
funny thing is, this is a completely true statement. It came during a "Man Up" series. College and 20-somethings guys need a little slap in the face every now and then! :)
Trickee- I’m sure it is true. I just have a problem with Christians giving Mormons a hard time about Polygamy because Old Testament prophets practiced it as well. Couldn’t he have said, “or you might have been an Abraham.” No, because it would be offending a prophet of God. It’s so much more fun offending another faith that people seem to have a hard time believing it is truly a Christian faith.
HE SAID THE TWO JOBS JOKE AND I AUTOMATICALLY SAID “THEN YOURE MORMON” and THEN HE SAID IT I’m CRYING
I would love to see a John Crist and Tim Hawkins remake show!!!
They are hilarious! Good clean laughs. Don't know why people think they need to curse to be funny.
linshere
Christian curse words 😂
Cursing is fun. It might offend but so do farts.
God damn, why don't they sing that Tweet song? 😂😂😂
HOW DID I JUST DISCOVER YOU TWO COLLABED TOGETHER?!?! I would pay SO much to see a Hawkins/Crist tour!!!
Tim Hawkins & John Cist?!?!!!!
OMG This is so amazing. I just can't. I love them!! So perfect.
They seriously need to do more comedy on the stage together
Casting Pounds
Cake I can only Imagine
OH GOOD LORD Y'ALL GOT ME CRYING!! I REALLY NEEDED THIS 😂😂😂😂😂
"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" 😂
The badonkadonkatonka 😂😂
I love how John gets ticked at his own jokes 😂😂😂
I love it when people who make me laugh crack up! Laughter can be so cathartic, it makes my heart happy to see really funny people laughing. 💖🖤
Name It, Claim It, and Frame It 🤣
Even the imagine of John on the back of horse holding on to a police officer is adorable. 😊🐎😇
They are hilarious and I love it! They are the best comedian pair ever.
This is one of the most accurate depictions of Christian Instagram accounts I have EVER seen. Hilarious and makes you think!
My two top fav comedians 🤍🤍🤍🤍👏👏👏
That's an explosive tweet! 😂
I was there and this was halarious!!
How they crack themselves up though! Lol
That's the best lolol their laughter is contagious
Haha those were just great! You guys are my fav comedians!! :D
“You would never date my daughter” STOLE IT!
Love it. You guys are sooo funny! If you have a great sense of humour you will for sure love this😂💓🙏🏻
The best part is watching them trying not to crack up
Crist breaks character like Jimmy Fallon on laughing gas.
How did I never know about this hilarious combination!!! XD
I see this now, you learned comedy from the master. XDXD
Oh my gosh!!! I've fast forwarded it countless times and it's killing not knowing what he said at 3:07 😂😁
+charriotsoffire1 he was making reference to an earlier Hawkins bit...
+Christine Duncan oh okay thanks! I'll have to go back if it's on this video and see
My fav two comedians!
"its like a Jonas brother falling out of a building" already im dying XD
Saw you tonight at Grace fellowship in Paradise.Great show!
John you look like you're desperately trying to not laugh. 💖
This has me in tears, literally ROFL
Can someone explain the joke at 3:00 talking about a first ate and the dad was in the living room on a horse?
After hearing the one about the cop on a horse I feel like this is a reference to a past joke.
It was probably a call back to an earlier joke in Tim's set.
Tim did say, you would never date my daughter
I didn't quite get that either.
Yeah, looks like a lot of us missed that one...and that's why I scrolled down to the comments...to see if someone had clarified that one.
“YOU’RE A MORMON”, I’M DEAD
The 2 funniest Christian comedians performing together. Can't go wrong.
That frisbee golf one was actually pretty good. I don't generally go for their kind of comedy, but ...that was pretty good. I do, however, appreciate what they are doing: in creating a little bit of laughter in such a dark world.
The student can’t overshadow the teacher. Lol
both ma fav christian comedians!!!
My favorite one was when you said you wanted to make a band that would encourage people to be healthy called Casting Pounds 😂😂😂
Cristy Pabon ,
The taco bell joke!!! Haha love it!
Whoever wrote the song easy like Sunday morning didn't take his kids to church on a regular basis.. man that's right! And what if I get two jobs? Then you're a mormon. The best!
Favorite part was watching laugh at each other.
"Whoever wrote the song, 'Easy Like Sunday Morning,' didn't take his kids to church on a regular basis.... Git in the car! We're going to go worship God."
Needed a laugh today and these two were just what the doctor ordered. :-)
Lionel Richie
The joke at 5:51 is hilarious!
I NEVER KNEW THEY DID THIS OMGGGGGG
This is THE BEST!!!!🤣😂🤣🤣
Was waiting for John to jam out on the electric near him.
The last joke was great 😂
5:03 - my favorite!!!
This--Is---Golden!!!! Too far with the fart joke,.... but he said what we were thinking, hate those bumper stickers lol! "Easy Like Sunday Morning joke really got me, hilarious!!!! I'd never heard of Tim Hawkins before, both super funny!!!!
John please tell us the joke about the first date and her dad was on a horse or something. I love this skit that you two did, lol
The amount of Demetri Martin is strong in this sketch
you guys did this same act last night in Colorado springs
I love the castings crowns référence! I love them and I’m fat so it’s funny ... slightly harsh but still funny
Pastor: someday all this land will be yours!
Baby: what's that shadowy spot over there?
Pastor: that's Arkansas you must never go there!!
I live in Arkansas 😂😂😂
Really! Never go there!
Two jobs, two girlfriends.....you're a mormon! LOL! 😂
Tolerate this! I love it!
The whole time I was thinking "DONT KNOCK OVER THE FENDER!!!!!"
I still don't get the horse one...
Good 😂😂
I didn't understand it either
It was a call back to a joke in Tim's earlier set
Tip: don't drink water when watching!💧💦
At 3:08: "Her dad was in the living room on a..." what did he say? A horse?
A horse
You don’t need to be nasty to be funny. Tim and John did great
falling jonas brother lol!
The last one was the bets one!!
I don't even get half of these but I love this anyways
#toleratethis 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
~Legendary~
Ya'll i love me some frisbee golf!!!! I play it all the time!!! With other stuff besides frisbees!
no.
this is like the feeling you get with your best friend when you are hungry and tired at 1 am and think everything is funny
rather, that is the feeling that you need to be feeling to think this is funny
anx365 Perhaps. It's about 3:30 in the afternoon, and I think most of this is pretty funny. Not fall on the floor funny, but I've got a smirk on my face.
IKR!!!!!!
Head and shoulders, knees and toes!
Name it, claim it and frame it. Ba-ha-ha!
Good Lord you both off the chain.
*Icons*
#toleratethis 😂
Too bad "I Can Only Imagine" is by MercyMe. :) Still funny though!
Mercy me! I can only imagine that I've gained some weight! Lol 😂
What's wrong with MercyMe?
@@pbilk Nothing. What he meant is "Casting Pounds" is a joke to "Casting Crowns" a Christian band. The song, "I can only imagine" is by Mercy Me.
Great comedy. Using a routine similar to the trio foxworthy engvallcand Larry the Cable Guy. With White as well. #bluecollarcomedytour
I love you to pieces. But there’s a classiness to not being like SO enamored by your own jokes. Lol.
Finally 9 mins.
You're only a mormon if those two jobs are door to door sales and bicycle fixing!!!
Nicholas Royer Two jobs = two girlfriends = polygamy??? But yeah, I get it.
You must not know many Mormons. And making fun of any persons is rude.
Sarah Irvin Thanks. It's nice to know someone else is against that last one.
Sarah Irvin it’s all in light hearted jest. Most jokes are offensive to at least one person you just got to understand that it’s comedy and not to take it too seriously
Deduct Dynasty #neverforget
Ohhhh I'm crying HAHAHAH
What was her dad on in the living room?!? Couldn't understand...
what SONG ?
What does he say at 3:07-3:10?
I couldn't tell, either....I keep thinking he says horror scope or horse scat or something along those lines....makes no sense....Also, I don't get the nine iron woods thing or mall clipboard....
@DaGerminator There is an actual sport called Frisbee golf where you throw a Frisbee out until you can hit it in a special container that acts as the hole. Pretty popular here in Abilene, TX thanks to the three universities here. Fling a 9 iron, it's gonna spin like a Frisbee. In terms of the clipboard, many people who are at the mall with a clipboard are usually those who want to stop people and have them do surveys or maybe a petition for something they represent. Most people tend to walk away from those people.
Thomas Smith Ah okay.....But do you happen to know what the guy had said that was so funny? Horse scat or something? lol
DaGerminator
Eh, he cut himself off cause he couldn't finish the sentence without laughing. I think he was gonna say "and" but when you blow out laughing, you never know what's gonna come out of your mouth.
Thomas Smith lol. They act like it's a reference to Tim's comedy, but Idk what he's referring to exactly....
John went to the Holy land with Joy. She said, "Nabisco moved their production line to Nazareth for the holiday season they are making "Cheezits of Nazareth". A street gang of Palestinians were protesting and pushed John Crest to the ground. Joy pulled a gun out of her fake bible & made the Palestinian gang get into a water trough where she water-boarded them. John said stop that torture of the Palestinians. Joy said why don't you join them & she pointed her gun & pushed him in the trough and water-boarded the bunch of them. Joy said there is nothing better than Christians & Muslims sharing their Holiday experiences.
John would never make it on SNL. He would break character every time.
great
Sooooo, Mr Crist needs to speak clearer and a bit louder. I know his tweets were funny because Tim was cracking up, but I couldn’t understand them no matter how many times I listened. (sigh-getting older is no fun at all so far)
Did Tim Hawkins retire?