My Wife Shuts Down After Disagreements (What Am I Doing Wrong?)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ต.ค. 2024
- My Wife Shuts Down After Disagreements (What Am I Doing Wrong?)
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Soooo she tells you what she needs…and you’re trying to convince her wants are irrational. Just say okay and move on.
17 years of marriage with my hubby and he still cant understand this.
It has cause alot of deep wounds I am trying to work through. He has an issue with just sayin “yes dear” and assumes I will “take advantage” even though I never have when on a blue moon amazing rarity decides to do that.
He says he feels emasculated and like he is lying to all the “facts” and “truth” my emotions arent ok?!
Dude, its hard to stay connected when your emotional needs are ignored.
I hope he gets it cuz at some point she will stop and just cope however she can. I was stupid and kept trying and trying to get my to understand and it caused a lot of bad fights.
I finally (I am very stubborn) gave up two years ago and I am just trying to process the reality I probably will never get thru to him about my emotional needs. I dont know why he is so stuck on being right and having the correct “reality” but I am so tired of fighting and being left empty.
Thank God I can pray about it and have God to rely on and also some healthy friends to talk and pray with. I cant imagine how much worse off I would be without that.
I pray this man gets it.
He is a few years in and can fix this before he mounds up a pile of emotional hurt to dig thru with her to repair stuff.
@@Jaxmusicgal23 I feel for you. I’m going through the same thing. 25 years married and a year ago I decided I didn’t want to feel diminished & emotionally disconnected any longer. I have three awesome girl friends I’ve known my whole life and their support means the world to me. Praying for strength helps as well. But when you feel so emotionally disconnected and told your thoughts and ideas are wrong or completely disregarded, this is where you end up.
That’s what men do. I spent years telling and begging my ex and at the end he was always gaslighting me. So I checked out in many ways then they start talking about they feel unloved and then cheat. But all of this could have been solved if you listened to me. being married to him was exhausting.
Jusf say ok and move on? This is not good advice for many reasons that I’m sure you can put together
Props to him for calling; but he literally struggled to come up with one single example of things she said. I wonder if he’s the type that doesn’t listen to her and just waits for her sentence to end to speak his “facts.”😂
I have one of those. When he interrupts I usually ask if he was really listening or just enough to find something wrong to “correct”…hence the interruption.
Last time he kept saying he knew what I was going to say. So I asked him what he thought I was going to say. It wasnt remotely close to it. Obvious he asked a question and did not listen for an answer and was expecting me to be an “irrational female”.
I calmly asked if this conversation was worth having. He agreed it was. So I told him to atop analyzing every phrase for a issue and sit and listen and to not form a response until I was done and think about all of what I said.
It irritated him but I refused to continue the convo if he would not do that. Being interrupted and told what someone thought you were saying is so not ok.
It was sad and this is on going in a long marriage.
I am just tired of being corrected for minor trip ups and interrupted and it has caused me to have to catch and correct a similar developed habit
My wife constantly blows up on me and the kids, won’t accept accountability for her share in the problems, withdraws and stonewalls with every attempt to resolve conflict, and dismisses how I might be feeling about certain things. Constant blame shifting and gaslighting even to our young kids and I would still have a hard time giving a specific example of what exactly led to these things happening. It’s very difficult to recount the specifics especially after dealing with that type of behavior for so long. It really wears you down. It doesn’t sound like his situation is as bad but it does sound like she may be starting down this rough post partum road that could be permanent if not treated.
He actually stated. "I attempted to listen" so no he doesn't
People are quick to condemn the wife here, but I have to wonder... is the husband helping out? I remember long nights when our oldest was about this age where I would wake up eight or ten times a night to take care of the baby and my husband would be snoring away each time. He wasn't doing anything "wrong," but by the time he finally woke up in the morning I was fuming and often on the verge of tears because I felt so alone (and far more exhausted than when I went to bed). It's possible the reason she is upset is not because he's making noise, but because she feels like she is doing all the work alone.
I saw how exhausted my wife was and told her that I would take a morning shift for her to get some sleep. From 2:30 AM until I had to leave for work (7:00), I took over and I would go to bed at 8 or 9. Thank God at 4 months she started to sleep through the night.
Exactly
Did you ever wake him up and ask him to help? Or just get mad?
@@benmyers9030 Then he would get mad.
@@nancymeehan3874are you speaking for someone else? Did the voices in your head tell you that answer?
If he's so oblivious of why his wife isn't at her best, I can bet he isn't much of a support system for her. I have far more grace for my spouse, even when sleep deprived if I feel loved, cared for and emotionally safe with him.
Geez-she’s exhausted 🙄🙄 can he not see this? She’s not calling him names she raised her voice…
Funny because all I ever hear women say is how”he yells at me and the kids” is so abusive lmao. Tell me you lack accountability without telling me you do. Lmao pathetic
@@stevendavis5095when you can give birth and take care of a baby 24/7 and everything else without being exhausted, get back to us
John always says yelling is abuse. Not this time. I guess abuse can only happen from one gender
@@stevendavis5095 there's a huge difference between an exhausted woman laying limp on a bed with a raised, irritable voice and a large man, strong, upright, and throwing a temper tantrum. Only one of those actually poses a threat. And it's not the woman.
@@JML542 smh sad! They have you believing that a woman can’t pose a threat. Smh. Even though some of the most heinous crimes in history have been committed by women. Not to mention that you give them a pass for raising there voices however men don’t get that same pass. Why because ones bigger then the other. Stop white knighting for women. They despise that ish. They’ll throw you in the friend zone and bang your homie that treats them like the human beings they are. Not the queens you believe them to be
When the kids were small he never apologized for waking me up..he always said I was too sensitive
Yeah. Mine still wakes me up when he cant find things or to “say goodnight” again whenever I decide to go to sleep first. He says he didnt know I was asleep🤷♀️🤦♀️.
Like, uh… I am asleep… my eyes are closed and I told you I was going to bed…
Why when you go to bed no one bothers you and the few times I do. Even hubby needs me.
Lol.
I try hard not to jump awake and seem freaked out but I dont get why he cant tell I am sleeping or that he needs to be quiet and leave sleeping people be.
@@Jaxmusicgal23 He can tell you are sleeping, he just doesn't care. He wakes you up on purpose.
Postpartum is rough…. I hope she gets some help too. If they can get some community involved that would be a blessing. She’ll be back soon but it’ll take some time. Hormones are always against us. Bless him for his patience, it’s hard to do these things without people with experience along side you. And hopefully when he’s in his low place she can help him too.
How hard is it to not wake up your exhausted wife? He’s talking like his wife is irrational and stupid, but what she’s angry about is perfectly reasonable! You can’t possibly understand what sleep deprivation is like unless you’ve lived through it. Eventually nothing matters but sleep and anybody who wakes you up when you FINALLY get a little bit of shut eye is instantly your enemy, because they stupidly disrupted the very fragile resource you desperately need to stay alive and sane. Just leave her the eff alone until she gets some rest.
"He's talking like his wife is irrational and stupid." That right there is the crux of it. He doesn't want her to feel stupid, but everything he says about her indicates that he BELIEVES she is stupid.
@wtf Thank YOU!!!! You said it straight!!!
How hard is it to not wake her up?? Surely he is not trying hard enough!!
I love how you said it because you just - I can feel - are speaking from a deep understanding!! A lived in understanding!!
I'm not a mother myself but I have BEEN through incredibly difficult periods of times when I was so sleep deprived than if you DON'T get to sleep it is ACTUALLY FKING PAINFUL!! On the body and mind!!
And you lose your mind!!
2:57 Bingo she had a baby! Her sleep deprivation is what they use to train a marine! Yeah she's up every 1.5 hours and cannot sleep immediately after the baby sleeps. It is akin to torture tactic. Plus the anxiety a mom experiences is not the same as a dad. I'd wake up 15 mins in a cold sweat and worry is she ok, is she breathing, what if she barfed and choked on her vomit etc. It is the most anixety I have ever felt in my life. What's dad doing? Snoring.
I slept in the guest bedroom it just had to happen cus in addition to the feedings, his snoring was waking up the baby too!
No you don't get where she's coming from! I hate when men say this or moms who have dream babies that sleep 8 hours straight.
She is not herself and she's learning to be a mom to a little helpless human that cannot communicate their needs or wants for the next 2-4 years depending on their abilities.
5:14 Yeah, she doesn't want to be a psycho. Trust me! But no she's not a toddler. I once compared being a mom, to a hostage situation. It is survival mode. I've had to pee with my baby, cus they were crying so much from colic. I had to shower with them in a bouncer and sing the songs so she knows I'm there. I don't get to eat when I want to. There are a million things. 😮💨
Make breakfast for your wife, hold the baby so she eats, bring her snacks, make her herbal teas, ask her "can I get you something, I'm on the way home." A husband's job is to nurture the wife so she can do the most important job in the world. Dad's you are lucky you get to go out and talk to a human, to see faces and have adult conversations. If I ever got 20 mins alone to go to the supermarket it was like going to Disneyland on Planet Mars. I'd be awe struck like I just got out of a cave.
Do things without being asked, which this caller sounds like he's thoughtful and doesn't need to be told to take out the trash or to pick up after himself. But some men don't and it can be very unhelpful.
God bless you and enjoy the 4 months stage, those toddler years are rough.
It doesn't matter how quiet you are...she is tired. She was woken up. She wants ZERO noise. Measure that. lol
Plus, noise is amplified when you are half asleep, imo.
As a wife of 5 kids under 12 who can also have a tendency to snap in anger if I am tired, I still think it is healthy for him, later at the right time, to address that he felt treated unfairly and hurt when she snapped at him even when he was trying his very best. If he does not, she will not realize how badly she treated him and will continue the habits of behavior, which if she continues will be to her, as well as her entire family’s, detriment. She doesn’t get a pass, she needs to be held accountable.
Don't count on it.
Feminist John Devorcee always blames the man. Thank goodness you are tethered to reality. This guy destroys families with his advice
Sounds like she's got postpartum depression.
Men get so weird with feeling displaced and make way more noise than they realize. my ex worked shifts and made so much noise banging doors, cabinets, and turning on the TV, and laughing and then sitting on the edge of the bed and taking off his shoes and jiggling the bed, then jumped up and started his very loud bathroom routines banging cabinets, etc. took me a while to realize he was doing this until I was fully awake, talked about his work, etc, basically downloaded, then crashed, began snoring, leaving me fully awake night after night. He did do it on purpose!
I'm so sorry. That sounds terrible
Yike!!
My husband does this. Walks away and never revisit or resolve it.
It will never get better...
Yeah, it's never OK to unleash on anyone, no matter how tired you are. That being said, handling that level of fatigue is very difficult and if someone pops off in the middle of the night, it's perfectly OK to overlook it for the time being. There's a great rule: no fighting after 11:00 pm. So the next day, you can bring it up and tell her how it felt to have that happen to you. Hopefully she will own it and apologize.
This man is awesome. He has such a wonderful attitude about his family. Just the fact that he cares enough about her feelings to call and get advice made my eyes watery
He really isn’t though when you listen some more. He just wants to be right all the time, and gets frustrated when she doesn’t see that he is right. Instead of saying sorry, he wants to argue at 2am to prove that he is right.
@@JoyofRVing no one is perfect. This man is trying and he definitely loves his family. Also women want to be right all the time too. That doesn’t make him a bad boyfriend just something else he can work on
@@salma_Nella22 at 2am, a post partum woman who says you’re making too much noise doesn’t want to be right. She wants to sleep because she’s tired. A simple sorry should end that scene. But he has to prove to her that he is right. I’m so glad my husband is not like him. John was right, he should have just said sorry, so she could go back to sleep. Instead of making a whole discussion out of it.
@@JoyofRVing ….are you waiting for me to say that you’re right? lol Look…this isn’t a discussion about who’s right and who’s wrong. I have my opinion. Anyone with sense knows that he didn’t handle that well. But no one will change my mind about him being a good guy. I have a 7 month old and my SO is sleeping in the living room right now so I have genuine empathy for her, but I have empathy for him too. Men aren’t as good with feelings as we are. My partner and I separated when my oldest/first son was a year old because he didn’t even try to get advice, or try to consider my feelings and made everything about himself. Then we made it work a year later and he’s the sweetest guy in the world and I feel safe and happy this time, no postpartum depression. This guy right away went out of his way to call John and asked his question with his wife’s feelings in mind. He said wonderful things about his family. A lot of men are too afraid or ashamed to get help and their family just falls apart the way it almost happened to me
He talks about his wife like she's stupid. Glad that makes you teary eyed.
The post partum period is very difficult, especially that first time around when it's a huge learning curve. Has she always been like this or this a new thing since having the baby? Most likely this is a temporary situation based on sleep deprivation and fluctuating hormones (takes a while for a woman's body to get back to baseline after pregnancy). It's hard but it does get better. He sounds like he's a good husband and willing to give some grace during this time.
My darling temperamental hubby, with a lot of drive and energy to do stuff and take care of things, can be that crazy when he is tired and sleeping, or falling a sleep, when I unintentionally disturb him and he verbally reacts vehemently as if I wanted to inconvenience him - then I just pat him and tell him to try to find sleep again, that it may seem impossible but he has done it before with success, and whatever I can say talking to his child within. It helps most of them time. It is not fun for me either, but it is not the time to make a competition about who is most offended. Though I have had to introduce the Finnish custom to have each his/her own duvet for the sake of justice - it is said I'm duvet-stealer!!! Can't believe it!!! The fact is more: I am out in the cold first, otherwise! So two duvets it is!
And for a baby a snugly carrier is the solution, a daddy should and would carry the baby around a lot! Tummy against tummy! Like a little monkey, listening to the steady heartbeat of the parent! It will give mummy so much respite!
How can I get my way all the time, and my wife will not be different than I want her to be.
she can be having postpartum depression
So nice to hear a man acknowledge how brutal new babies are on moms. It’s truly exhausting and so many are willing to condemn new moms without taking this into consideration
Honestly his wife is just exhausted from the baby. She wants to sleep. That's all.
And he is making " natural noises", but then bounces on the bed climbing back in, blows his nose, then cuddles his cooled off body up to sleeping exhausted mom. Arrgh.
Dr J is so good
Not this time! I’m a big fan, but “just take it, she’s post partem so move to the guest room” is THE WORST direction here.
How a woman gets treated by partner during pregnancy and post partum is essential to overall long term relationship satisfaction. Resentment built around that time can linger forever if not eventually leading to divorce Eg a deep belief the husband doesn’t care or is defiant . Because it’s the most vulnerable time so treating her well in good times wont likely make up for mistreating her when she is most vulnerable. I agree it’s best to not want to be right but just get in the mentality of giving her what she needs for a short while. In many cultures there is a lot of help and support for a new mom Eg she doesn’t have to be sleep deprived because people take turns and shifts with the baby and plenty of women neighbors and family are around all the time to support. In western culture though the partner plays a major role of support. In other cultures men can afford to be ignorant to her needs or make mistakes. In western culture men can’t afford to be ignorant they need to learn how to support a new mom. Either by fully participating in experience , or else being hypersensitive to her needs and making her life easier. It’s a bit one sided but it has to be in those few months, else that’s when distance/separation starts which often can’t be repaired. The less support the woman gets the more likely the relationship transforms for the worst after kids. The better the experience the stronger the family unit,
This is so true.
I am living out the negative result of this.
Pregnancies and postpartum were a nightmare with him and the constant “facts” about how wrong my emotions were.
It still hard and he still doesnt get it.
It causes alot of deep pain and now i am working through the hurt in spite of him being semi-clueless to what has caused all my pain.
Last time I tried to explain it… it only fostered anger and rage and resentment. No compassion or remorse.
Men, how you treat your wife matters. We are not men. We are in need of some emotional connect and cherishing care.
In those moments we dont need to know the “truth” or “facts”. We will calm down and be able to listen later. We might even figure it out ourselves and come tell you.
I know its crazy and doesnt make sense. It doesnt always to us. But if we ignore it causes more issues later.
Absolutely agreed. I'm not married, nor have kids. But I've seen how some acquaintances treat their wife during and slightly after pregnancy, absolutely shameful.
You can’t put up with this forever. What John is saying is not without some merit, but the longer he just takes it to avoid having the big fight the more she’s going to just start thinking of him as “My stupid/annoying husband.” And once that’s who you become to her, good luck ever undoing that. I had an ex who seemed to believe everything I ever did was cultivated to upset her, but if I asked what exactly I did that was so wrong she had no answer, but she knew I was the problem, and then when I finally started pushing back it became further proof I was the jerk so there was no winning in the situation. Everyone has something on their plate, it doesn’t give her a free pass to be miserable.
John sucks there is no way live like that
I agree. Screaming at a husband during the night doesn’t equate to me… I had two babies within a year, ended up in the psych unit in the middle of it because of past trauma bubbling up, and was very messed up. But it was still my responsibility to be kind and respectful and continue moving towards maturity with communication and understanding my new hubby while he worked hard to figure out what the heck had happened to his wife. If we weren’t both working hard to show the most love, kindness, and communication possible, we wouldn’t have survived. Now we’re almost 23 years into our amazing story. It could have gone real bad, but we’re so thankful to be here today and our motto is to never let go of each other’s hands, figuratively, and to always be walking towards our Lord Jesus… If we’re both aiming for Him, we’ll be walking in the same direction. It’s going well. :)
Your behavior was exactly what John warned against.
@@aliolivi existing in my home? I’ll try to do better.
@@aliolivi that’s not at all what I heard Dr. John say. How do you see that? Also, we don’t know how this man “behaved”. He simply described his perspective of his marriage. It’s true that repeated behaviour breeds habits. Why should women get a perpetual pass? Men go through hardship too, yet are fully expected to maintain their cool and take all the irrationality that women fling at them? Is that right or fair? Definitely not “equality”.
No joke. My husband was snoring so bad the other night i tried waking him up to roll over so he would stop. He woke up said "whats wrong?" I said "your snoring" he said "yeah" and passed back out snoring for another 30 min😂
I think sometimes it’s wise to ask ourselves if we don’t feel “heard” or “validated” simply because others don’t agree with what we are saying. We have to know the difference.
Also, we have the responsibility to ensure we are dealing with our own emotions/ thoughts. It sounds like he thinks he is blaming himself, and maybe he does have some contributions to the issues, but I think she also has to address her own heart and how she’s contributing.
Commenting as I listen through this, @4:40 John's reaction of exhausted breathing is exactly how every good man feels when being snapped at. We do everything right on paper and we just ask for the decency to treat us with a degree of politeness and respect that would be given to a stranger. You wouldn't immediately yell and repeat yourself when asking someone to adjust their habits, but some people choose the most aggressive approach first. I know how the caller feels, I am in a similar situation.
Now that my kids are moving out it seems like my husband wants to move into the vacancy that my kids left.. The problem is he is not my kid he is my husband
I think it might have been a movie or just an interview when someone said “in a marriage you have to decide if you want to be right or if you want to be happy”. I am likely heavily paraphrasing, but it really stayed with me.
If you are constantly taking the blame for things just to keep the peace, you will probably not be happy
I’m a little concerned that if it were the other way around it would be called abuse with no excuses, but his concerns were not validated. I hate to critique but I think it’s valid!
I agree, as a wife who can also snap in anger, i think the wife for sure should be confronted about her bad and wrong behavior. I have a gut feeling that maybe this wife just says she “doesn’t feel heard” as a mini tantrum because she did not win the argument and is controlled by her emotions. It’s very possible she treats him badly.
@1:10 I am like, this is my existence.
Funny that he has to compare an adult mother to a toddler lol. He said he didn't but he really did...
Bruh you had a kid 4 months ago. She hasn’t slept in 4 months
Both need neutral ground to unpack. Also her hormones may be out of whack. This is something that needs to be explored with both people present.
Do you want to be happy or right? I didn’t hear what you’re doing to help or take some of the load of this kid. She is obviously tired and needs some help. Do you take the kid for a while after work? How about make dinner? Run her a bath and let her chill for a couple of hours with no one crying. As John say, ask “How can I love you best today?”
So that gives her the right to scream at him and yell at him and curse at him for going to the bathroom and letting the dog out? If it were the other way around the wife would be claiming abuse by the husband.
Dude, logic goes out the window when women are postpartum, and it doesn’t sound like homie does a lot with the kid. It will get better as long as it hasn’t always been like this.
How do you know he doesn’t help with the child? It wasn’t brought up at all
I would have also suggested that the husband help with getting up for the baby at night. If it's a matter of the baby needing to be fed, heck, have her use a breast pump and have him do the baby care at night, or at least some nights.
Postpartum rage its her first kid she may need counseling
Let the woman sleep. No good will come from engaging with a perpetually exhausted person. Step up more so she can get a break. Sheesh, poor lady.
Hey being tired isn't a pass to be a jerk okay I get it but yelling at your spouse isn't helpful. Why can't she talk to him outside of the moment like John is suggesting to this man?
that's a pretty decent husband to want to do better.
Yeah, I get the feeling the wife is getting a huge pass here and she should be held more accountable….
Maybe, just remember he called him to make sure she understands that he is right .....
@@AN-jw2oeyou got a 4 month old ???
I can’t help but wonder if the disagreements are truly about her yelling while half asleep bc he’s woken her. His question was about validating her feelings after he “wins” the disagreements. He sounds older, for having a four month old so perhaps there’s an age difference…doc tried to get more info but this caller should’ve had to explain more on the problem. Just imho…
Sleep depravation and postpartum depression are two different things
And he stood 3 ft away from the toilet when he peed so the stream echos throught the house vs sitting down so its quieter!! I rage in my apt because i finally fall asleep and the man above me stands in his hallway i swear to aim at his toilet 30ft away so it echoes through the highrise floor into my apt. And i need to sleep! Arrrgh. Yes night men peeing, its noisy!
Can you imagine how many marriages would be saved if men would deal with a woman’s hormonal outbursts with “ok honey.”
Sounds like a lot of excuses to me...
You should know what to do for her... You either have it under control or you dont.. If you have to call into a TH-cam show, you have already failed and she knows it
I don't care what anybody says I will not tolerate anybody to curse at me or verbally abused me no matter what the situation is or how hard it is with the kids 😂. Because reality is if it was reversed the guy would never talk to his wife that way.. I think it's important people check their emotions
Ego is the number 1 cause of death
@@SarahConnor562 they go hand and hand
I agree, there is no excuse to mistreat others. Those same who do it do not like to be treated as such.
@@alluringbliss4165 I'm so tired of hearing excuses for women to treat men like crap. How bout be a big girl and act like an adult
Totally agree. This is a woman acting like a child. I say that as a tired mom myself.
My wife pouts after disagreements, too. We don't have too many, though so thats been good. She knows she wont out argue me (no yelling) so we'll just explain what our perspectives are and usually that squashes it. I definitely dont just lie down and take it because shes a woman and can do no wrong, though.
Yikes
@@show_me_your_kittiesexactly. This is a recipe for disaster
Sleep in the guest room? Yeah that will be great for the marriage. I know people who did that and it went from one week to 5 years.
John made up a huge scenario out of thin air to justify the wife's bad behavior. you do NOT talk to your spouse that way for doing nothing wrong, and serving the household (dog's needs). she is of low-character to do that, and you do not owe them an apology for being alive in your own house.
instead insist they owe YOU an apology and then ask how you can help them avoid outbursts in the future. a man she admires and respects she would never talk to in the manner she did to this man.
Don't ever apologize if you didn't do anything wrong
I'm a natural debater, so this has come up in my marriages and relationships. One counselor asked bluntly if it was more important to be right or have a happy wife. After thinking about it for the next two sessions, I circled back to that conversation and told the wife and councilor that I woukd rather be right. To say that I am wrong, when factually correct, seems like lying to me and it would eat at me. So, I'll keep hopping until I find somebody that is ok with debating until we determine who is right. I'll never agree just to keep the peace.
I feel you but women are wrong about most things.
So why even put yourself in that position . Because they are mostly wrong
You know, it's not that bad to be alone. Get used to it because it is your future. 😂😂😂
As you shouldn’t!!! No one should ever just agree to keep someone happy!!!
Not everyone is meant for a relationship. That my friend, is you.
@@sfappetrupavelandrei So you would prefer to be told a lie to make you feel better about your relationship?
Answer this question as if the woman is not post partum and has this kind of behavior regularly with enough sleep and older kids.
I don’t necessarily shut down with my wife…..but I’ve learned to pick my battles….and I avoid all battles at all cost and immediate raise the white flag. The older I get….the less I really care about most things to be honest. Happy wife, Happy life…..When Mammas NOT happy, NO ONE is Happy….makes life much easier for both of us. Seems a lot of the men I have met in very long term marriages…that is their advice in handling their own marriage.
Sad and pathetic
I completely agree. Pick your battles.
In my experience my wife will be just as mad at me over the trivial disagreements as the big ones. So I only put up a fight when it really matters.
The trick is figuring out what really matters to me.
Also, Dr. Deloneys advice to wait a bit to get to the bottom of things is really good. Even 10 to 15 minutes can mean we're discussing something rather than arguing.
What a terrible way to live. I can't imagine living with a women like that who you can't challenge from time to time on issues. Sounds like you're the wimp of the relationship
@@LAZERZ-OPyou have "gaming" in your name, bro...
@@briskettacos I said what I said. Feel bad for the poor suckers in relationships like the one described above
Wow this was amazing!!! I am not a father, and don't even have kids!!
Am just a woman in a loving committed relationship, and i so so enjoyed listening to this bro talk about honouring this woman and her feelings during an argument, and I'm soooo happy john basically, in a soft sort of a way, called him out for being a fking ar$ehole when he goes all matter of facts about facts and bull$hit. This is not the time!
And John owned him! It was fantastic to see a great level of communication and how he was showing him the RIGHT way to go about it, and even i was learning a huge deal too!!
We both men and women can do this during an argument lol.
So it was fascinating and hugely beneficial to me!!
Thank you john!
the post partum thing was not temporary in my marriage. she announced she wanted to divorce, but after some months passed by, she had changed her mind. i said no. i'm free.
The irony is that her crazy and irrational phase was natural and actually a phase, and yours was just who you are. Disgusting.
This advice is horrible. How about telling her she isnt going to yell at him because his child cant thrive in an abusive household?
Give me an example
Squirrel
Give me an example
Squirrel
Give me an example
Squirrely McSquirelface
Facts and Truth trumps feelings. Don't keep quiet just to keep the peace because the resentment will build up and eventually destroys the marriage. Sadly most women never acknowledge or apologize when they are wrong. They prefer to pout or cry to manipulate the man.
Hey bro
And men tend to prefer princesses rather than strong women....you get what you pay for
You'll never get a woman to admit she's wrong. It's pointless.
B.S!
@@azteca6695 Theres other therapists and Psychologist that have posted videos on TH-cam stating why this is factual. Lol you won't even agree to that.
@@djpuplexI admit when I’m wrong in disagreements. As an aside though I believe relationship is more important than being right. Even some cases with friendship when I was “right” I would just drop it because my friendship was more important.
@@flashthecorgi2053 Psych hacks is the channel.
@@SarahConnor562 I agree with you if it’s something major, in my case it was minor and I was factually right. However, I wasn’t going to throw away an amazing, loving friendship just because I knew I was right. Also, I don’t think anybody likes to admit they are wrong but it’s the right thing to do.
13:56 Rule no 1. Don’t get a dog.
No, Rule no. 1 is not to listen to you. So dumb.
Yea f that dog. I’m telling ya.
yeah i like dogs, but idk why you'd sign up for the extra hassle when you have babies
What about the husband that’s being woke up in the middle of the night , because of the baby crying and he has to get up and go to work early the next morning and work all day . At least the mother can sleep between feedings during the day .
That is not how that works lol. I have two children.
@@salma_Nella22 of course with two children it’s harder to get sleep . But sleep deprivation doesn’t last forever. What about students that go to school and work full time and study all night for 4 years or the older person taking care of a sick parent or mate or people that has insomnia or sick or in pain that can’t sleep for years . And these young Healthy women can’t take sleep deprivation for a few weeks without throwing fits is ridiculous. And yes I am a woman that had a baby with colic at one time .
That's an utter lie.
This guy is so hard to follow.
Abusive wife
I get this feeling too (and I am a wife)
If this is abuse then I have been tortured for many years now. It might be time for divorce.
Another Simp level
Divorce her since she’s unwilling to cooperate
He literally said she’s a rockstar and amazing so you clearly didn’t listen. You’re the reason why divorce rates are so up because you quit at the smallest disagreements!
@@flashthecorgi2053 yeah but immature also.,.idk shutting down because your wrong is not cool. Nobody wants to be friends with a person like that
@@mkelleyaggieHe didn’t really give a good example of how she shuts down. He said she got mad at night since he was making too much noise and yelled at him. Right now they aren’t in the right state of mind being so sleep deprived!
Stay in your lane lol
😂
He’s being yelled at because he doesn’t check her for her disrespectful behavior.
Then he goes on to compare a 4 yo getting sick and throwing up to a grown adult mother treating her husband like a piece of sh-t
She wasn’t taught to take correction or respectfully disagree.. getting emotional (when you may be wrong) and throwing a tantrum was allowed by her parents probably bc they did it 2… also… damn hormones…. ask me how I know 😂😂😂
I'm a damn man
Yeah right