I have tryed on multiple occasions to build friendships with straight black men and on multiple occasions there ignorance ended those friendships sadly. I do like this video very insightful on all sides but as a gay man i have experienced more hurt and pain from the straight black men towards us gay black or those of the LGBTQ community sadly. I pray 🙏 for more unity and understanding for the black straight in interacting with gay black men and those of the LGBTQ community.
Thank you so much for having this vulnerable and authentic conversation. We truly do have more in common than our differences. We need each other. I enjoyed the entire reflections, suggestions and challenge at the end:). Love is the answer. “If love is the requirement to live and love other Black men (women), how will I live my life (purpose, Joy, healing, understanding, giving and receiving Love, Peace, etc)? You guys have given me food for thoughts. I accept the challenge and commitment to do better and spread more love and healing. Peace
Mannnn!!! Thank you for this, such a great conversation! These are the conversations we need! As a queer black man I’d given up on having straight male friends. It’s just always weird, uncomfortable and draining. But much more than that, at the end of the day it’s about love, expressing love and receiving love! Shout out to all of you kings!
It really depends on the person. Like not every straight man is the villian, and not every gay man is your friend. I personally can be friends with a straight man, but only the ones that can prove to me that they aren't on some toxic masculinity BS. As for befriending gay men, it's a tossup, because most are just expecting the friendship to become physical. So you can't just put everyone on a box due to their sexuality.
Really moving conversation. I'd really appreciate hearing Black cisgender heterosexual men directly addressing what it means to be thought of as gay (soft & like a woman in any way) and the ways avoiding being thought of as gay shapes aspects of their oppression and how the eradication of homophobia and biphobia (aka being "the other") would be a huge step toward liberation.
My problem is that I created my own safe space and got too comfortable. As a gay feminine man I invested my time and Energy to create my own safe space, I pushed a lot of people out of my life like the girls that wanted a gay bestie, masc gay men that were making me feel like shit and straight men. Turns out I'm a really cool person to be around and sometimes I have straight men that want to hangout but it's been a while, I really don't know how to let them back in my circle and everytime I turn them down some of them work around saying that I'm mean and cold and that I think I'm Beyonce 😂
I live in Detroit there are so many walls built up around black men and the way we act or lack there of to support or to know what really matters. The reality of black mens lack of connectivity in multiple areas is sad and pathetic yet we can do this with others and not our own is amazing. I also see as a black man the black male ego that many will not let go of and how to create real reality filled areas.???? We ll brag about material things and chasing whores live a life of suicide but not purpose and stay filled with Angst. The brotherhood and reality of being black should be the focal and purposed because its so fleeting we go work to do thanks for this RICH AND POWERFUL. BROS LET THE CLICKS GOT LETS BUILD BONDS OF RESPECT ETC.
This is such an amazing representation of how we need to listen, and speak to all of our brothers. Uplift, respect, and try to understand all of our struggles. Thank you.
This was such an insightful and wholesome conversation!!! Makes me super freaking aware of how lacking I am in my own social circle, and how much I crave this level of friendship. I know part of that is my own difficulties with getting out of my head and opening up to others. I tend to assume nobody wants to hear about me or how I feel unless they explicitly ask multiple times, lol. So I suppose for me, a way that I can make love a requirement is by volunteering to share my vulnerabilities more with the few friends that I am fortunate to have. Thanks so much for this awesome video!!
I was purposefully looking for Thurs conversation. Black men (men in general) have real love for one another. I think that when a man comes out to his str8 male friend it can change the friendship in the sense that both men have to be more disciplined and measured in how they engage with each other when it comes to affection.
As an openly gay man. To answer your question. NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!! -- I try my best to stay away from str8 black men! If I gotta fight them to defend myself I would!! 💯💯
Yea... It's one thing to be on some bs and do it... But it's another when it's been demonstrated that they may be dangerous or bad for your mental health for you to be around.
Short answer, Hell no! Listen, I'm a gay Black man who has been given nothing but absolute grief from hetero Black men for my entire life. To the point where I do not feel comfortable in spaces with too many of them, so I purposely avoid those spaces. I'm not going to put myself in situations where I'm worried about getting gay bashed.
I hear you. I'm also a gay black man (not queer, gay!) and hetero black man have given me nothing but grief all my life. With the exception of my family members who are real cool, I avoid hetero black men like the plague. At the fear of generalizing, a vast majority are a-holes.
Most straight cisgender men tend to other us as soon as they know we are gay in my experience. First we have to get past the curiosity of of gender roles in my relationship, then to the meat and potatoes
Love this discussion young brothas. But as a black queer man, it seems to me that it is implied that black gay men are more emotionally developed than straight men? Nah! Black gay men suffer the same problems with intimacy maybe not as much or maybe even more than there straight brothas. Just sayin. Many carry masculine issues sometimes even more than straight brothas. opps.
I use to ostracize str8 black men and even some cishet women due to bullying as kid. If they weren’t my family or close friends I didn’t want anything to do with them, but as I got older I learn to treat ppl no matter their background as a case by case situation , but it’s hard sometimes you push ppl away as form of protection.
I was purposefully looking for Thurs conversation. Black men (men in general) have real love for one another. I think that when a man comes out to his str8 male friend it can change the friendship in the sense that both men have to be more disciplined and measured in how they engage with each other when it comes to affection.
More disciplined? Unless that straight friend secretly feels something more for that gay friend why would he have to be more disciplined just because his friend likes men? This is the whole premise of the conversation gay men being othered and treated differently by their straight male counterparts and not being able to fully experience a real friendship. Thank god this isn’t the case with my straight male friends I consider myself lucky they don’t other me.
For the sake of our own survival we need those friendships and platonic bonds with our brothers
I have tryed on multiple occasions to build friendships with straight black men and on multiple occasions there ignorance ended those friendships sadly. I do like this video very insightful on all sides but as a gay man i have experienced more hurt and pain from the straight black men towards us gay black or those of the LGBTQ community sadly. I pray 🙏 for more unity and understanding for the black straight in interacting with gay black men and those of the LGBTQ community.
Thank you so much for having this vulnerable and authentic conversation. We truly do have more in common than our differences. We need each other. I enjoyed the entire reflections, suggestions and challenge at the end:). Love is the answer. “If love is the requirement to live and love other Black men (women), how will I live my life (purpose, Joy, healing, understanding, giving and receiving Love, Peace, etc)?
You guys have given me food for thoughts. I accept the challenge and commitment to do better and spread more love and healing.
Peace
Mannnn!!! Thank you for this, such a great conversation! These are the conversations we need! As a queer black man I’d given up on having straight male friends. It’s just always weird, uncomfortable and draining. But much more than that, at the end of the day it’s about love, expressing love and receiving love! Shout out to all of you kings!
Sftu
It really depends on the person. Like not every straight man is the villian, and not every gay man is your friend. I personally can be friends with a straight man, but only the ones that can prove to me that they aren't on some toxic masculinity BS. As for befriending gay men, it's a tossup, because most are just expecting the friendship to become physical. So you can't just put everyone on a box due to their sexuality.
Great answer
Really moving conversation. I'd really appreciate hearing Black cisgender heterosexual men directly addressing what it means to be thought of as gay (soft & like a woman in any way) and the ways avoiding being thought of as gay shapes aspects of their oppression and how the eradication of homophobia and biphobia (aka being "the other") would be a huge step toward liberation.
That last question: if love was a requirement what would it look like for you is such a great question.
My problem is that I created my own safe space and got too comfortable. As a gay feminine man I invested my time and Energy to create my own safe space, I pushed a lot of people out of my life like the girls that wanted a gay bestie, masc gay men that were making me feel like shit and straight men. Turns out I'm a really cool person to be around and sometimes I have straight men that want to hangout but it's been a while, I really don't know how to let them back in my circle and everytime I turn them down some of them work around saying that I'm mean and cold and that I think I'm Beyonce 😂
I live in Detroit there are so many walls built up around black men and the way we act or lack there of to support or to know what really matters. The reality of black mens lack of connectivity in multiple areas is sad and pathetic yet we can do this with others and not our own is amazing. I also see as a black man the black male ego that many will not let go of and how to create real reality filled areas.???? We ll brag about material things and chasing whores live a life of suicide but not purpose and stay filled with Angst. The brotherhood and reality of being black should be the focal and purposed because its so fleeting we go work to do thanks for this RICH AND POWERFUL. BROS LET THE CLICKS GOT LETS BUILD BONDS OF RESPECT ETC.
This is such an amazing representation of how we need to listen, and speak to all of our brothers. Uplift, respect, and try to understand all of our struggles. Thank you.
Hooray for understanding that we need different kinds of relationships
This was such an insightful and wholesome conversation!!! Makes me super freaking aware of how lacking I am in my own social circle, and how much I crave this level of friendship. I know part of that is my own difficulties with getting out of my head and opening up to others. I tend to assume nobody wants to hear about me or how I feel unless they explicitly ask multiple times, lol. So I suppose for me, a way that I can make love a requirement is by volunteering to share my vulnerabilities more with the few friends that I am fortunate to have.
Thanks so much for this awesome video!!
I absolutely love this guys! Thank you so much for sharing!
Yes. I vibe well with str8 men vs my fellow gay bros. It’s easy to befriend ppl that don’t have ulterior motives.
Yes! I have several of them!
I was purposefully looking for Thurs conversation.
Black men (men in general) have real love for one another. I think that when a man comes out to his str8 male friend it can change the friendship in the sense that both men have to be more disciplined and measured in how they engage with each other when it comes to affection.
Thank you for sharing these conversations!!! 💜🙏🏼🫂⭐
Jay I love what you are doing!! I aspire to create this space
I really enjoyed this conversation, thank you.
Talking and listening are two great steps
forward..also an attempt to broaden understanding
This was healthy and beautiful.
Great conversation!!
Doing is what makes progression.
As an openly gay man. To answer your question. NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!! -- I try my best to stay away from str8 black men! If I gotta fight them to defend myself I would!! 💯💯
Period
Yea...
It's one thing to be on some bs and do it...
But it's another when it's been demonstrated that they may be dangerous or bad for your mental health for you to be around.
Yea one apple can spoil the bunch of it's a 💣
Somethings... It's so risky, all it takes is one (or a few )
Same.
You can't just put everyone on a box due to their sexuality. You're no better than the straight men that do that to us, when you think that way.
Short answer, Hell no!
Listen, I'm a gay Black man who has been given nothing but absolute grief from hetero Black men for my entire life. To the point where I do not feel comfortable in spaces with too many of them, so I purposely avoid those spaces. I'm not going to put myself in situations where I'm worried about getting gay bashed.
I hear you. I'm also a gay black man (not queer, gay!) and hetero black man have given me nothing but grief all my life. With the exception of my family members who are real cool, I avoid hetero black men like the plague. At the fear of generalizing, a vast majority are a-holes.
beautiful
Most straight cisgender men tend to other us as soon as they know we are gay in my experience. First we have to get past the curiosity of of gender roles in my relationship, then to the meat and potatoes
I think it's because some gay men want to be with straight men sexually and romantically.
Love this discussion young brothas. But as a black queer man, it seems to me that it is implied that black gay men are more emotionally developed than straight men? Nah! Black gay men suffer the same problems with intimacy maybe not as much or maybe even more than there straight brothas. Just sayin. Many carry masculine issues sometimes even more than straight brothas. opps.
I use to ostracize str8 black men and even some cishet women due to bullying as kid. If they weren’t my family or close friends I didn’t want anything to do with them, but as I got older I learn to treat ppl no matter their background as a case by case situation , but it’s hard sometimes you push ppl away as form of protection.
🤔
Aye cuhh, if you cool then you cool. Ion really care about who you fucc on n shi as long as its consensual and healthy
The ruthlessness in me says "no." The goal is domination and collaboration; trying to be with others is a weak flaw.
Good convo but the use of the N word throughout the video is cringy.
Why would you
Never trust a heterosexual baby daddy
Why must we refer to each other with the N word? The crap is embarassing.
We have normalized the three used of the word, even for other races.
This some BS .....Get the option of ( REAL ) black men
so happy to have found this!
thanks for watching fam. we just dropped two episodes from the final season earlier this month, tap in!
I was purposefully looking for Thurs conversation.
Black men (men in general) have real love for one another. I think that when a man comes out to his str8 male friend it can change the friendship in the sense that both men have to be more disciplined and measured in how they engage with each other when it comes to affection.
More disciplined? Unless that straight friend secretly feels something more for that gay friend why would he have to be more disciplined just because his friend likes men? This is the whole premise of the conversation gay men being othered and treated differently by their straight male counterparts and not being able to fully experience a real friendship. Thank god this isn’t the case with my straight male friends I consider myself lucky they don’t other me.