My ex-husbands favorite threat was to kick me out of the house. A house that my paternal grandparents built, then my parents owned through my childhood & lastly they sold it to my ex & I. Because my name wasn't on the actual mortgage loan, it was only listed within the documents, he constantly used that against me. He also claimed he'd get the kids & I would be left with nothing. While finally going through with the divorce, he planned on fighting me tooth & nail for the house. I just wanted the divorce & to be free. And by that point that house held no positive memories for me regardless of the attachment to my grandparents. It became a box.... just a black hole. He got the house but I'm the one that ended up truly blessed....I have my children & I'm free!
My life exactly. It’s so crazy how their are so many stories that I read that are exactly like mine. I also got a divorce but went back because of my 17 years old daughter who I also got full custody of in court but I couldn’t find a place to live so I went back. She is still blind to it all. She is daddy’s little girl. We were married for 20 years. And leaving was even harder especially since I’ve never been away from my kids. We also have a 20 year old son. He does not like his dad. I have no support system or family really for that matter. 18 years in I finally figured out what was going on. I can remember just being in gut wrenching agony wondering what I did that was so horrible that my husband hated me? But also in figureing out who my ex husband was I also realized who my mother was. She hated me also. She would tell me that if she had never gotten pregnant with me she wouldn’t have had to marry my dad. My dad was an enabler. They were both emotionally unavailable. My own family thinks I’m lying and exaggerating what I went through. My own sister. This makes me so sad!
@@joancrawford1146 they want you to be afraid. They'll threaten with anything to keep you exactly where they want you, oppressed. Regardless if you're name is on the loan. They have to provide equal compensation. DO NOT let this person keep you stuck!! They will never change! Please save yourself. Money isn't everything. Trust me. Your inner peace is worth so much more. Do not believe the lies. I'm not sure where you're from. But I couldn't even afford to file for divorce & as a result I waited longer. When I finally went to court I found out I qualified financially to file for free. Regardless of whatever material items you may or may not lose or even your financial situation, I promise you, your growth, your inner peace & your FREEDOM is worth so much more. Take your power back!!!! I realized my entire family is full of narcissists, which is why I kept repeating that same pattern of attracting them. No more!!! I cut my entire family out with the exception of my two younger children. It has not been easy. But I have never, ever been stronger!! I will never be oppressed ever again! I broke that generational curse! You owe it to yourself to be free! At the very least look into the process, go to the courthouse & get information. Talk to a lawyer. And get some counseling, I promise that will help too. I wish you the best of luck! And I pray that you break free. Love & light to you ❤🙏
Deb my experience to as the property was in my family since the 30's and my parents built the home and I was born in and inherit to marry the Jezebel with my children being born there also and she got the Courts to sell it at any price she set. The Courts removed my name from the title and yet kept my name on the mortgage. So I ended up homeless and all my belongings had to be liquidated. I had four generations of property in the family home to be destroyed. The children are stuck with the Jezebel and I'm free from the pure sin.
They lack empathy so they don't care how their actions effect someone else. Aa long as they are getting what they want that's all that matters to them. And controlling others is their specialty that's how they get their narcissistic supply sense of importance and value. And absolutely, this should be punishable by the loss of their freedom as it is a crime.
Yes. Like refusing to fix the muffler on his wife's car and then keeping it running for a half hour every work day morning which was sure to wake up everyone in the 16 floor high rise building too so he didn't feel quite as sorry for himself when having to get up that early in the morning at 6 am.
I've noticed they don't care because they hide,especially the flying monkeys, there isn't any accountability, they bond over the torment of their target, everyone involved will only do things that are very deniable,they will not ever admit to what they are doing to someone, and find it funny to do this,the pain of others satisfying to the evil ones.
A lightbulb just went off. My ex used to take care of my car and always insisted on starting it in the morning. I found it odd but realize now that he was checking the mileage. I sound paranoid but am not in retrospect.
What a coincidence. When I lived in a 16 floor high rise building a man used to do the same thing for his wife. One day while only he and I were both walking down the fire escape stairs since the elevator wasn't working again he invited me to spend time with him in the car to keep warm while it was always needing to be taking a whole half hour according to him before being fully warmed up while without a muffler on it too before he could finally after walking everybody up in the building be driving his wife to work and when he did it was obvious it would not be to drive me to work too however if I ever reported it then of course he would have pretended to them how ungrateful and lazy I was for insinuating that him such an upstanding maybe Italian or Spanish Canadian citizen was at the time being anything except friendly and helpful to me too,
My mom did this.She poisoned us against her father (who I had been close with as a child)because he didnt give in to her and it enraged her.I Got close to him again when I became an adult and luckily got to spend alot,of time with him the last few years of his,life.She hated that.Always telling me what a liar and pice,of garbage he was.I didnt care what she said and I was right there with him when he died in 2011.Glad I grew up and stopped caring what she said.About 2 yrs. ago I went no-contact and it surely makes things alot more peaceful.Now I know the name for what she was doing.
Thank you for sharing. My mom always dissed my dad. My wife's step mother always dissed her father, and my wife has dissed me for decades. I guess she learned from the best.
My covert narcissistic soon-to-be ex husband used to watch my comings & goings on the home security camera! After seeing me leave the house, he'd call my cell and ask where I was going. When I voiced my dislike of this behavior, and told him it was creepy, of course he said he was kidding around. Yet he continued to do it! He controlled our money and just about every other aspect of my life in one way or another. Glad I'm out of that relationship! Regret staying longer than I should've.
Yup,..mine was famous for the house camera as well,..I caught on cause the light would flicker just before I'd see the camera swing around,..and tell my kids if in the room with me dad's going to be spying within seconds,..sure enough,..and they'd see it every time I said it.
Mine used to ask me where I was going when I was using the restroom. When I would ask, where do u think I'm going, he would get upset and talk about he cares and I dont. That's why he asks, he would get me whatever I needed. Ok...
Then the fear immobilizes you & people say but I don’t understand why you can’t leave. Once again a brilliant video Jill - you cover so much in a condensed way. Many thanks for your continued contribution to helping people find their way out of hell.
Thank you Jill. Can't believe there's actually a technical term for this. This is something only high level experts like you can explain. Very much appreciated. The narc's nasty eyes, it's like telling us, I am watching you, there's no escape.
These are all so familiar being around the narcissist that I've been 10 years clear and I've got to tell you it just makes me nauseous and sick to hear.
Hi Jill, I love your videos. Very helpful. I was the SG in my family, however, just clued in about 2 years ago. Mother has turned siblings, rest of family and friends against me with decades long smear campaign. I just didn't realize what was going on. She had me brainwashed into believing I was a horrible person. I now know that this was simply the bad parts of her narc self projected onto me. She tried very hard to destroy my life. She wasn't successful. I'm struggling with getting over a 1/2 century of brainwashing. Would you be able to do a video on that? Thank You.
Hi Leslie, my truth sounds similar to yours 😢😠 Well done at resisting being destroyed! That's really something to be proud of. I wish you all the best of everything! Love Theresa
Honestly you speaking about you’re life is my like you have spoken about my husbands life with his malignant narc mother ... she is one of the most toxic abusive person I have ever meet... she’s physically, financially , mentally emotionally abused to words him he only put a stop to it 3years ago and mind you he’s turning 50yr old this year ! The smear campaign was on going but now at its peak ... apparently we are the villains and she is the victim... but we still continue NO contact... we are strong and happier then ever .
You know that saying about how to finish eating an elephant? 🐘 One bite at a time. That’s how you undo the brainwashing. One lie at a time. I liken it to defragging the computer. Do you remember Windows 98, w/ those colorful rectangular tiles? As the computer would work through the hard drive, methodically restoring order, it’d be really active working through the different colors, each of which represented a different function. Whether on your own, or w/ some help, you have to dispel/refute one lie after another. If you journal, this is where you can SPILL EVERYTHING, incl. telling your mom everything you need to say to her for your own closure. You know that she won’t allow any closure, on her end, but this exercise is solely for YOU to be able to experience emotional freedom. Talking out loud to yourself and having the conversations you wish you could have, are also cathartic, and result in mental clarity and again, emotional freedom. Be loving & patient w/ yourself throughout this process. It’s a marathon, so learn to pace yourself. You will emerge from this a new person, and it’s never too late, as long as you’re still here. 🙏✨💕 Wishing you all the best.
Thank you Jill. Although we all feel we are alone in this, we all have the same story. We all fell in love with "the one", got married, then it changed. We failed to see the signs. I am now caregiver to the narc I married and it's worse than before.
My dad used it to completely control my mother for half a century, all of her married life 16 to 66. She had to ask "do you love me" and in front of all 4 of his children he would tell her no. He used every single tactic you mentioned to control her and all of us, later in her life he put an extremely short cord on the phone so she had no privacy whatsoever. When she was ill and needed thyroid medication and blood pressure medicine he refused to buy it for her, I did. He made her walk up stairs to the doctor office, next to the elevator. Monitored and ridiculed her for food consumption. He killed her by proxy.
Oh yea. Great video. Dont be afraid of a bully folks! So glad that the criminal element is being told. Nsrc behavior is sooo dangerous on many all levels an justice should be served.
No insight, no compassion, no soul......”THEY COULD CARE LESS!” Exactly on-pointe, Jill. Took me over a decade to finally accept this, as empaths, it is not comprehensible that an actual human could be such an emotional flatline. Maybe research can be done to see if they’re missing the amygdala in their “brains??”
Research has been done (Dr. Robert Hare) and the amygdala of the Cluster B serpent "human' from Cain's line is "reptilian" and is much smaller than the normal human from Adam created in God's image.
The way forward (and has worked for so many) is to empower people with what Narcissism looks like and allow people to make their own boundaries. By empowerment comes freedom to walk away and leave the narcs to the hollow life they live. By truth (not law), comes freedom.
My mother always made us work but, never allowed us to spend the money on anything other than what she okayed. But she said she was teaching us to save and spend wisely.
-- Like a well worn car which when parked for too long while waiting to pick mom up from work every day whenever she is late getting out the door of her workplace building which is sure to have carbon monoxide gas entering the interior of the car while she is hoping for grandchildren to only visit with but not help support so she no longer is having to feed you after surprise! You having to leave home far earlier than expected at the same time instead of needing help from her to pay for your college tuition too.
I worked full time for benefits, decent pay, not great. Tried to take classes paid for by the company. He created such strife, I couldn't think to learn anything. He hated that my mother watched our child for free. Wanted child to go to daycare. I would have had to use my entire earnings for that. Plus most of my work schedule was not even during daycare hours of operation. I think that was initiated by some of his family. Even though he didn't want my mother keeping our child, he never offered to until said child was big enough to influence. He never changed a diaper or kept an infant. Most nights I was home, he wasn't. I felt so physically drained, I would force myself to do aerobics to videos. That really always made me feel stronger. One day when I was off work, he put our toddler size child in his truck with no seatbelt. Child stood on the bench seat. (I could see child standing there the whole time.) I thought he meant for us all to go for a ride. I don’t remember exactly. It was years ago, but I think I was getting the car seat out of my car to put in the truck. He drove off, with child happily standing beside him on bench seat. I followed. He literally drove 70 mph on a gravel road in order to lose me. Child still standing on bench seat. THAT is why I never left. Because of local attitudes, family connections, back then, I would not have won custody. Staying was the only way I could remain in a place in the child's life. There's so much more that happened than I have space for here. He straightened up enough to have another much later. We had a second and I stayed home. He was against that and started saying 6 weeks into c-section re-coup, that I needed to find a job. I would collect left over change from his pockets to keep an emergency stash for toilet paper and gas. He paid the utilities but made sure I had no way of doing anything at all with the second. Let alone the first, then a middle schooler. Everyone said how he was an awsome dad and person in the community. One day I took about $40 in the laundry change to a little nearby store. I got gas, & was going to go buy some other necessities from an actual store (you can deduct this has been years ago). Apparently, the worker at the little store mentioned it to him. (It was a little local store where they knew him) I don't remember what he said to me but he mentiined something derogatory to me for taking his change. (Meanwhile he took out big loans) I never again found even a penny in any pockets while doing laundry. None of that stuff could have been proven in a court of law. In fact, I'm sure it all would have been turned on to me. Pretty sure it was gossiped about in the community. I was commended at the job I had, repeatedly. I was offered promotions that I didn’t take in order to attempt preserving family time. He turned that into pick fights time. Every character attribute I was commended for at work, he accused me of the opposite and found flaw for. Pretty sure the family and community also did the same.
I’ve been Benj watching TH-cam videos of covert narcissist and yesterday is the day I just learned about the term coercive control. I think I need a therapist to help me but I need one that understands the depth of covert Narcissis and coercive control. I pray for everyone in this situation.
Thank you. Your content has been incredibly helpful. I've been unpacking and unravelling decades of abuse over the last few years, and it's been so dark at times. But knowing I'm not alone, knowing I'm not imagining this or making it up -- that it actually exists and it has a name -- it has made a world of difference. Thank you.
This is a brilliant video. In all of my counseling and research I haven’t heard this term. It hits home though. I really really wish you would speak more about in-laws. Malignant covert narcissistic in-laws. It’s rarely discussed but it’s so terribly awful and dangerous. I had spy wear put on my phone. It’s been a real nightmare
You are a clear, insightful teacher. Thank you for your passion for helping others with narcissistic relationships. Your first hand knowledge is very evident in the way you communicate. Blessings to you!
I greatly appreciate your relative, riveting message. I believe why you do not see this taught in schools and enforced in law enforcement Is because Christians are slow on the uptake. They choose not to respond properly fearing over reaction. Therefore , their under reaction is anemic and insipid . Oh that they would come up to speed in this regard and it would effect education and law enforcement. This should be taught in every Church that is authentic. I have tried for decades and I know there is a hunger to know more but it gets greatly attacked and impugned. There is a greater hunger for this teaching than I have ever seen previously.
My MIL accused me of financial abuse because I earned all the money and my H didn’t work. I now realize that my H was really being abusive. He stayed home with our kids because he didn’t have a career. When they went to school he had trouble holding down a job. When he finally held one down, he kept his money in a separate account. I was paying all the bills and taking on debt at times too. Yet I was accused of financial abuse when I separated our money. He had full access to my entire paycheck that supported our household and I had limited access to his money that he used for whatever he wanted. I’m glad that you mentioned the other side of financial abuse because I find that people just focus on the first one. In my situation it was the opposite.
When I was a teenager, mother sat with me in the living room and she was having an argument with father, who happened to be in the kitchen cooking for us, I remember this vividly, she thought it would be funny to give my father the finger behind his back in front of me and encourage me to do the same, I’m glad I didn’t, but now I’ve come to grips with what was really going on
This can also happen in a sibling relationship, whereas, one sibling may coerce the other sibling to commit an act they would not normally do on their own. In addition, the NARC sibling knows that the act will have consequences down the road and was designed to gain control over the innocent sibling, and set them up. In my case, it was done to pin others against me, and was probably done out of jealousy. Personally, I have had money used as a weapon in my life, to exacerbate the victimization further ! I have been struggling and victimized in one facet or another for decades ! The whole situation is clinically insane and what happened to my infant daughter and myself is CRIMINAL ! I am glad that the UK recognizes that it is an offense, and there must be consequences ! The problem in the US is that some forms of psychological/financial abuse is not recognized as criminal, even though it can be deadly in certain circumstances. Coercive control can happen in romantic relationships, families, employment situations, and other interpersonal situations/relationships.
Thank you so much for this Jill, People shouldn't give chances if they change, They give appearance they have it's a manipulative tactic, I have to much self respect and dignity to fall for all that, I want nothing to do with this person, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high God ☘🌹❤💚💗🌈💙💜📚🦁⚖😊♱🕆😇😃💛
Can we make requests? I have several members of my family that I would call the "Nice Narcissist." How I would describe them is extremely pleasant to be around, never exhibit rage, irritation, put downs or negative emotions. Yet they are very slyly exploitative. One of them gets his wife to do literally everything- take care of the kids, bring home the bacon, help with the homework. He does just enough to give himself plausible deniability that he's contributing, but he's really a moocher. The other is a sibling who gets people to bend over backwards with the most ridiculous requests, all with a happy face and an "I just love my family and want to spend time with them" attitude. The Nice narcissist- I would like to understand more about this dynamic.
@@theenlightenedtarget Thank you so much for your reply. I have learned about covert narcissists from other channels, but they always emphasize that they are "shy" or act like victims. Neither of those descriptions fit the kind of covert narcs I see in my life. They seem to love putting on an act of how positive, friendly, and caring they are.
@@gloryrobinson8000 just my opinion, maybe their favourite weapon is manipulation probably through lies with just a few truths sprinkled in it with a smile on their face & a PRETEND positive attitude. Maybe they have discovered that through this method they get the desired result they want with the least resistance & fight. This is Covert Narcissism. You may like to research more about Covert Narcs as they all use different techniques of abuse.
@@kazeeevaughan3380 I finally found a definition that fits- the "Hero Covert Narcissist." Apparently there are subcategories within the Covert Narcissism category- the "Victim" and the "Hero." The narcissists in my life more typically fit into the Hero category. They like to be seen as compassionate, positive, caring, etc. But it's all an act to make themselves look good. Behind the facade is a lot of passive aggression, but they rarely take on the Victim status unless it works to their advantage.
I'm 55 & my malignant narc mother still abuses me w/ her public shaming, screaming, public verbal abuse ( I'm a loser, you'll never mount up to anything, I should have never had you in the first place, etc.) She called my professors in college, & my bank. She sabotages everything I do & everything I do always gets back to her. " I heard you went to the doctor. Why do I have to call you to find this out? What else are you hiding from me?" "So help you if I ever find out that your hiding something from me." ( as she's lecturing me}
Describes my former. All the threats, flying monkeys & alienation. Trouble is, I see the laws you suggest as only being used by vindictive narcissistic women against their husbands. Men can't be seen as ever being the victim.
He said we should let each other know if our exes got in touch. I found out he visited his ex and unfortunately for me i reacted badly. He then went on to say how it was me stopping him from being friends with his ex. I have no grudge for his ex ever. It was his lies that hurt me. He threatened my sons safety and he has everbodys sympathy now. Apparently i am able to con psychiatrists to diagnose ptsd and depression yet he says he doesnt believe mental health exists. What a head mess he put me in. Thank you for your videos
My ex isolated me from all my friends and family. He controlled all our money, even though I had a good job. I had to ask daily fir a small amount of cash to buy food. He despised all parts of my body. Despised my choice of books, clothes or art. Never said he lived me but was outraged if I spoke to another man (often also imagined). He found another woman and I was free after 10 years. She saw the light and left him within a year. Sorry for the rant. Good to express it, which I have never really done. Thank God this behaviour is becoming recognised.
It's not always a spouse. My Dad does this to me all the time. I am not allowed to have friends over, I am not allowed to take precautions from covid, I am not allowed to stand up for myself. I am so tired I don't feel good. It's wiped me out. I am trying to leave. I am an adult but it's as though I am a child. I want to get help but I am afraid that would be used against me too. It's like I am trapped.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Thank you! 🙏🏻❤🙏🏻 I am & always will be grateful for you, you have helped bring so much awareness to me about my ex & his family, & now I even know what to watch for when I meet new people, I hope & pray that all of this does get against the law very soon here in the US, nobody should ever be able to get away with causing any kind of harm or hurt to another person! Truly from the bottom of my heart, thank you, you are a very beautiful soul!!! Stay blessed! Much love & light! 🙏🏻🕉☯️☮🫂✌🏻❤
Its upto the govts & courts to understand and enact required laws to punish & make accountable these monsters 👹 who play with other human lives & abuse ppl psychologically.
My narc mum likes to monitor everything. Including food intake. My flying monkey enabler father told me the other day I am eating too much Nutella & he is “concerned” about that because it’s not healthy. I know, it’s kinda ridiculous. Cause I was wondering who opened it to see how much I ate. Mum, or him? When stuff like this happens now, I notice! It’s always felt bad but now I understand how wrong this is. I have an eating disorder. They ignore that though. But how much I’m eating is apparently important & especially bothersome to them. Food items are monitored vigilantly. It sucks. I’m trying to move out by the end of the year.
This happend to me as a child. Iam from Sweden and my mother put me on a plane to africa with a one way ticket and ’forgot about me’ I was left to fend for myself in an unknown country at the age of 11.
I guess my husband never used Coercive Control because I'm not and have never been afraid of him. And he knows demanding me to do something will get him just the opposite. He does try to gaslight me, doesn't work. He does rage once in a while and I look at him like he is an idiot. But there are a lot of things that I think he does to get a reaction out of me or to make things hard for me with me being disabled. It won't be happening much longer. I'm out at the first opportunity.
parental alienation is the crisis the century and its getting worse as courts seem to encourage it. the adversarial situation in court is not designed to deal with divorce and kids. the courts force kids to become commodities and once that happens, it never changes. my sons relationship with me simply brings pain to his life, so now we have no relations. he is 22 and completely stuck in his teenage life with his mommy. nobody can break through. like so many angry people, she has her permanent fan club in my son. just sux on every level. for him. i’ve seen this in other families too. and its the most destructive thing that nobody seems to do anything about. whats stunning about alienation and coercive control is that after a while the child fills in fake information almost automatically. like autopilot for the abused. my ex’s abuse of my son is the crime of the century. and removing me from his life is cruel. and unencumbered by my ex’s relatives and others.
I don't think the courts are capable of determining who the real abusers are. A narcissist can push you to all your limits, and then video you when you finally blow up, and start crying right after they just said the most awful, demeaning things possible. Also, children now days, need to have their internet activities monitored, and sometimes you need to ground them from their phone or car, etc, because they need some discipline. They consider that abuse. If you can't do things like that, then they will run wild and mess up their future. Narcissists are such good liars, that if the courts get involved, a bunch of nice people will have their lives destroyed.
Coercive Control can be very subtle too. Ex: Babe you should put all the cars n trucks in my name. After all, it becomes stressful for you to handle the registrations n insurance. You have trouble w ur memory. You always do careless mistakes w ur memory, so let me help you. I have a superb relationship w our agent, it'd be easier for you to just have me handle the vehicles. Babe, I know you want the trucks and cars back in your name. I know you bought them. But clearly you don't love or trust me to help you. You can't make good decisions. Ur forgetful n if I don't hold the titles, you will make a mistake w bills and then we'll lose the vehicles. A lot is subtle even though it feels just as horrible n a loss of ur choice n autonomy. This is how I lost everything. Being made to feel my existence was a walking talking flaw n if I wanted my basic rights, I was debased n debated into confusion n contemptuous treatment for even asking permission to think or feel for myself.
Excellent video! Sometimes the isolation is done by 'allowing' and demanding that you spend 'lots of time' with your relatives to learn with who are not students there while doing assignments instead of with spending time with other students only when your relatives are supposed to be at work just so they can get together to laugh over the efforts those students are making. Often coersive control includes trickle down invisible chains from the top people in bondage depending most on it all the way down to the bottom of the pyramid hierarchy in their mother's womb when being isolated from the womb of mothers after coping with gaslighting not good enough then recommending and pushing their mothers into consuming poisonous to you substances including so called 'always' recreational drugs, 'birth' control pills, cruel things recommended for to be inserted into the womb, etc. The Statue of Liberty has a law written in stone against that last stop in the chain of coersive control. [The Statue of Liberty was a gift from France to NEw York] You would think that all Americans are thankful to the people of France too for that gift however some instead for example see the right of French parents there to refuse the promotion of only gender neutral pronouns being used in class when that would be so impractical that no elementary school child could learn after being born to Francophone parents.
My s-i-l alienated her daughter, our neice, from us because she felt threatened by our nieces love for us. My s-i-l is incredibly insecure and jealous of anyone she views as competition. She's sick. When my niece chose a college she opted to attend a university several states over and after graduation decided to move to the west coast to get away from her mother on the east coast.
Hopefully your niece will contact you at some point now that she is away from the parental home. My Narc sister alienated her daughter, my niece from me for the same reason. Now the niece hates me and is training her son to hate me.
When I married my ex she said she would just put my new phone on her account because we get a discount. Of course i didn’t even know what a narcissist was. Later it became apparent she was tracking me and looking at my calls and seeing who I messaged. She was also an. Accountant and took care of our finances until I caught her and her evil daughter stealing $900 out of my truck. If you think the narc mom is bad, wait until you meet the mini me👿☠️
I really really thought he was a good person. A narc, but I thought he really was GOOD under it all. I couldn’t believe a man who spent so much time tearing his wife down over how she doesn’t trust him enough could be cheating while doing it. Couldn’t comprehend a man who was kicking out his wife & 3 children could manipulate her into not having a bank account & quitting her job just to take all the money & file for divirce leaving them w a couch. Nowhere to put the dang thing! And then tell her that if she wanted to prove her trust, she wouldn’t hire an attorney bc she needs to show she really doesn’t think he is a bad person. OMG I fell for that total BS. Yeah. There are ppl who are THAT evil.
My son's stepmother has been doing this to him for 2 years now. He's terrified of "breathing wrong." She tells him she's psychic, that she can tell when people lie to her, and that she controls ghosts. He's 10 😢
Great channel! I love your videos. I have a question. How do you deal with a toxic coparent while in public together? I’m specifically talking about extracurricular activities. The mother of my child creates so much unnecessary drama and I know she is hoping that I react.
I think a lot of people miss this song TH-cam everybody has a channel on narcissism but they don’t really understand how covert these people can be to brainwash others and turn them against their own family members like a cult and that needs to be discussed in parental alienation as well and how they control their victims and how it’s insidious and slowly and calculatedly driven. I’m talking to an expert now because I watch his videos and I hear so much stuff that doesn’t add up it’s not even true and a lot of people do not have extreme extensive research and understanding personal and academically in these manners yes so many people have this TH-cam channel nothing against you it just seems like that’s not discussed enough how it’s like brainwashing and it’s not obvious and it seems like a lot of people focus on overt narcissism. My point is it Is not easy to see these people when In a relationship with them and usually by the time you’re in love with him or have children with them that’s when things go crazy but you’re not for sure exactly what it is. So far what she says seems to be legit from my understand of what I have been thru and my personal trainer! Not many therapist understand this brain washing and you need a course in criminology to understand it!
Hi Jill, would it be possible for you to please explain further about the whole mind reading thing that certain narcissists do? Thank you so very much!
“Confusion, contradiction, and fear.” Yep, lived this. God bless all on the receiving end of this abuse.
My ex-husbands favorite threat was to kick me out of the house. A house that my paternal grandparents built, then my parents owned through my childhood & lastly they sold it to my ex & I. Because my name wasn't on the actual mortgage loan, it was only listed within the documents, he constantly used that against me. He also claimed he'd get the kids & I would be left with nothing. While finally going through with the divorce, he planned on fighting me tooth & nail for the house. I just wanted the divorce & to be free. And by that point that house held no positive memories for me regardless of the attachment to my grandparents. It became a box.... just a black hole. He got the house but I'm the one that ended up truly blessed....I have my children & I'm free!
I can totally relate.... yay you!
My life exactly. It’s so crazy how their are so many stories that I read that are exactly like mine. I also got a divorce but went back because of my 17 years old daughter who I also got full custody of in court but I couldn’t find a place to live so I went back. She is still blind to it all. She is daddy’s little girl. We were married for 20 years. And leaving was even harder especially since I’ve never been away from my kids. We also have a 20 year old son. He does not like his dad. I have no support system or family really for that matter. 18 years in I finally figured out what was going on. I can remember just being in gut wrenching agony wondering what I did that was so horrible that my husband hated me? But also in figureing out who my ex husband was I also realized who my mother was. She hated me also. She would tell me that if she had never gotten pregnant with me she wouldn’t have had to marry my dad. My dad was an enabler. They were both emotionally unavailable. My own family thinks I’m lying and exaggerating what I went through. My own sister. This makes me so sad!
This is exactly what I go through. I’m on the title but he said my credit wasn’t good enough to be on the loan. I’m so afraid to divorce him!
@@joancrawford1146 they want you to be afraid. They'll threaten with anything to keep you exactly where they want you, oppressed. Regardless if you're name is on the loan. They have to provide equal compensation. DO NOT let this person keep you stuck!! They will never change! Please save yourself. Money isn't everything. Trust me. Your inner peace is worth so much more. Do not believe the lies. I'm not sure where you're from. But I couldn't even afford to file for divorce & as a result I waited longer. When I finally went to court I found out I qualified financially to file for free. Regardless of whatever material items you may or may not lose or even your financial situation, I promise you, your growth, your inner peace & your FREEDOM is worth so much more. Take your power back!!!! I realized my entire family is full of narcissists, which is why I kept repeating that same pattern of attracting them. No more!!! I cut my entire family out with the exception of my two younger children. It has not been easy. But I have never, ever been stronger!! I will never be oppressed ever again! I broke that generational curse! You owe it to yourself to be free! At the very least look into the process, go to the courthouse & get information. Talk to a lawyer. And get some counseling, I promise that will help too. I wish you the best of luck! And I pray that you break free. Love & light to you ❤🙏
Deb my experience to as the property was in my family since the 30's and my parents built the home and I was born in and inherit to marry the Jezebel with my children being born there also and she got the Courts to sell it at any price she set. The Courts removed my name from the title and yet kept my name on the mortgage. So I ended up homeless and all my belongings had to be liquidated. I had four generations of property in the family home to be destroyed. The children are stuck with the Jezebel and I'm free from the pure sin.
They lack empathy so they don't care how their actions effect someone else. Aa long as they are getting what they want that's all that matters to them. And controlling others is their specialty that's how they get their narcissistic supply sense of importance and value. And absolutely, this should be punishable by the loss of their freedom as it is a crime.
WELL SAID
Yes. Like refusing to fix the muffler on his wife's car and then keeping it running for a half hour every work day morning which was sure to wake up everyone in the 16 floor high rise building too so he didn't feel quite as sorry for himself when having to get up that early in the morning at 6 am.
They deserve death these monsters
Yes I've noticed narcissists can't be alone. They need others to buy into their b.s. and prop them up.
I've noticed they don't care because they hide,especially the flying monkeys, there isn't any accountability, they bond over the torment of their target, everyone involved will only do things that are very deniable,they will not ever admit to what they are doing to someone, and find it funny to do this,the pain of others satisfying to the evil ones.
I went through the financial abuse ,, his control & manipulation over money ,,
A lightbulb just went off. My ex used to take care of my car and always insisted on starting it in the morning. I found it odd but realize now that he was checking the mileage. I sound paranoid but am not in retrospect.
What a coincidence. When I lived in a 16 floor high rise building a man used to do the same thing for his wife. One day while only he and I were both walking down the fire escape stairs since the elevator wasn't working again he invited me to spend time with him in the car to keep warm while it was always needing to be taking a whole half hour according to him before being fully warmed up while without a muffler on it too before he could finally after walking everybody up in the building be driving his wife to work and when he did it was obvious it would not be to drive me to work too however if I ever reported it then of course he would have pretended to them how ungrateful and lazy I was for insinuating that him such an upstanding maybe Italian or Spanish Canadian citizen was at the time being anything except friendly and helpful to me too,
That is terrible ! I hope you are free from this now !
A shame this stuff wasn't out there sixty, fifty, or forty years ago. At least there are others for whom it's not too late.
That's the main thing I go through, financially, emotionally and psychologically. Constant threats of being put out of family home etc.
IF your name is on the Deed of Trust they cannot kick you out of the family home. Do not sign anything.
My mom did this.She poisoned us against her father (who I had been close with as a child)because he didnt give in to her and it enraged her.I Got close to him again when I became an adult and luckily got to spend alot,of time with him the last few years of his,life.She hated that.Always telling me what a liar and pice,of garbage he was.I didnt care what she said and I was right there with him when he died in 2011.Glad I grew up and stopped caring what she said.About 2 yrs. ago I went no-contact and it surely makes things alot more peaceful.Now I know the name for what she was doing.
Thank you for sharing. My mom always dissed my dad. My wife's step mother always dissed her father, and my wife has dissed me for decades. I guess she learned from the best.
i sure hope my son figures this out before he loses me forever. sad to raise a human and then another human can poison the relationship.
I was isolated from my family. It happened slowly and now I see it.
I’m so sorry for you
My covert narcissistic soon-to-be ex husband used to watch my comings & goings on the home security camera! After seeing me leave the house, he'd call my cell and ask where I was going. When I voiced my dislike of this behavior, and told him it was creepy, of course he said he was kidding around. Yet he continued to do it! He controlled our money and just about every other aspect of my life in one way or another. Glad I'm out of that relationship! Regret staying longer than I should've.
Yup,..mine was famous for the house camera as well,..I caught on cause the light would flicker just before I'd see the camera swing around,..and tell my kids if in the room with me dad's going to be spying within seconds,..sure enough,..and they'd see it every time I said it.
Mine used to ask me where I was going when I was using the restroom. When I would ask, where do u think I'm going, he would get upset and talk about he cares and I dont. That's why he asks, he would get me whatever I needed. Ok...
I am going to start hounding our government for laws to protect victims here in Canada.
Too bad that the government is also comprised mostly of the Cluster B variety.
Then the fear immobilizes you & people say but I don’t understand why you can’t leave.
Once again a brilliant video Jill - you cover so much in a condensed way. Many thanks for your continued contribution to helping people find their way out of hell.
Thank you Jill. Can't believe there's actually a technical term for this. This is something only high level experts like you can explain. Very much appreciated. The narc's nasty eyes, it's like telling us, I am watching you, there's no escape.
My narc father has the most evil eyes when he rages.
These are all so familiar being around the narcissist that I've been 10 years clear and I've got to tell you it just makes me nauseous and sick to hear.
Hi Jill, I love your videos. Very helpful. I was the SG in my family, however, just clued in about 2 years ago. Mother has turned siblings, rest of family and friends against me with decades long smear campaign. I just didn't realize what was going on. She had me brainwashed into believing I was a horrible person. I now know that this was simply the bad parts of her narc self projected onto me. She tried very hard to destroy my life. She wasn't successful. I'm struggling with getting over a 1/2 century of brainwashing. Would you be able to do a video on that? Thank You.
Hi Leslie, my truth sounds similar to yours 😢😠 Well done at resisting being destroyed! That's really something to be proud of. I wish you all the best of everything! Love Theresa
Honestly you speaking about you’re life is my like you have spoken about my husbands life with his malignant narc mother ... she is one of the most toxic abusive person I have ever meet... she’s physically, financially , mentally emotionally abused to words him he only put a stop to it 3years ago and mind you he’s turning 50yr old this year ! The smear campaign was on going but now at its peak ... apparently we are the villains and she is the victim... but we still continue NO contact... we are strong and happier then ever .
You know that saying about how to finish eating an elephant? 🐘 One bite at a time.
That’s how you undo the brainwashing. One lie at a time. I liken it to defragging the computer. Do you remember Windows 98, w/ those colorful rectangular tiles? As the computer would work through the hard drive, methodically restoring order, it’d be really active working through the different colors, each of which represented a different function.
Whether on your own, or w/ some help, you have to dispel/refute one lie after another. If you journal, this is where you can SPILL EVERYTHING, incl. telling your mom everything you need to say to her for your own closure. You know that she won’t allow any closure, on her end, but this exercise is solely for YOU to be able to experience emotional freedom.
Talking out loud to yourself and having the conversations you wish you could have, are also cathartic, and result in mental clarity and again, emotional freedom.
Be loving & patient w/ yourself throughout this process. It’s a marathon, so learn to pace yourself. You will emerge from this a new person, and it’s never too late, as long as you’re still here. 🙏✨💕
Wishing you all the best.
Thank you Jill. Although we all feel we are alone in this, we all have the same story.
We all fell in love with "the one", got married, then it changed.
We failed to see the signs. I am now caregiver to the narc I married and it's worse than before.
My dad used it to completely control my mother for half a century, all of her married life 16 to 66. She had to ask "do you love me" and in front of all 4 of his children he would tell her no. He used every single tactic you mentioned to control her and all of us, later in her life he put an extremely short cord on the phone so she had no privacy whatsoever. When she was ill and needed thyroid medication and blood pressure medicine he refused to buy it for her, I did. He made her walk up stairs to the doctor office, next to the elevator. Monitored and ridiculed her for food consumption. He killed her by proxy.
That’s a really sad story. I’m sorry this happened in your family.
Oh yea. Great video. Dont be afraid of a bully folks! So glad that the criminal element is being told. Nsrc behavior is sooo dangerous on many all levels an justice should be served.
No insight, no compassion, no soul......”THEY COULD CARE LESS!” Exactly on-pointe, Jill. Took me over a decade to finally accept this, as empaths, it is not comprehensible that an actual human could be such an emotional flatline. Maybe research can be done to see if they’re missing the amygdala in their “brains??”
They COULDN'T care less
Research has been done (Dr. Robert Hare) and the amygdala of the Cluster B serpent "human' from Cain's line is "reptilian" and is much smaller than the normal human from Adam created in God's image.
Truth is stranger than fiction
or science.
The way forward (and has worked for so many) is to empower people with what Narcissism looks like and allow people to make their own boundaries. By empowerment comes freedom to walk away and leave the narcs to the hollow life they live. By truth (not law), comes freedom.
Thank you for what you’re doing I believe it’s helping a lot of people. Praying for you in the name of Jesus Christ
Parental alienation is one of the most horrid things in the world.
Just wait until they are in the wheelchair in the old folks home...
I used to know a woman who did that. I felt so bad for the father. She would always make up stupid reasons to keep her son from his father.
Yes. They will stop you from seeing your kids and tell anyone who will listen that you don't see or care about your kids.
Hi Jill, this is STILL one of the BEST most concise Explanations of coercive control there is today!
Narcissists target and attack your money, friends, and family because those are the biggest forms of escape.
My mother always made us work but, never allowed us to spend the money on anything other than what she okayed. But she said she was teaching us to save and spend wisely.
-- Like a well worn car which when parked for too long while waiting to pick mom up from work every day whenever she is late getting out the door of her workplace building which is sure to have carbon monoxide gas entering the interior of the car while she is hoping for grandchildren to only visit with but not help support so she no longer is having to feed you after surprise! You having to leave home far earlier than expected at the same time instead of needing help from her to pay for your college tuition too.
I worked full time for benefits, decent pay, not great. Tried to take classes paid for by the company. He created such strife, I couldn't think to learn anything. He hated that my mother watched our child for free. Wanted child to go to daycare. I would have had to use my entire earnings for that. Plus most of my work schedule was not even during daycare hours of operation. I think that was initiated by some of his family. Even though he didn't want my mother keeping our child, he never offered to until said child was big enough to influence. He never changed a diaper or kept an infant. Most nights I was home, he wasn't. I felt so physically drained, I would force myself to do aerobics to videos. That really always made me feel stronger.
One day when I was off work, he put our toddler size child in his truck with no seatbelt. Child stood on the bench seat. (I could see child standing there the whole time.) I thought he meant for us all to go for a ride. I don’t remember exactly. It was years ago, but I think I was getting the car seat out of my car to put in the truck. He drove off, with child happily standing beside him on bench seat. I followed. He literally drove 70 mph on a gravel road in order to lose me. Child still standing on bench seat.
THAT is why I never left. Because of local attitudes, family connections, back then, I would not have won custody. Staying was the only way I could remain in a place in the child's life. There's so much more that happened than I have space for here.
He straightened up enough to have another much later.
We had a second and I stayed home. He was against that and started saying 6 weeks into c-section re-coup, that I needed to find a job.
I would collect left over change from his pockets to keep an emergency stash for toilet paper and gas. He paid the utilities but made sure I had no way of doing anything at all with the second. Let alone the first, then a middle schooler. Everyone said how he was an awsome dad and person in the community.
One day I took about $40 in the laundry change to a little nearby store. I got gas, & was going to go buy some other necessities from an actual store (you can deduct this has been years ago).
Apparently, the worker at the little store mentioned it to him. (It was a little local store where they knew him) I don't remember what he said to me but he mentiined something derogatory to me for taking his change. (Meanwhile he took out big loans)
I never again found even a penny in any pockets while doing laundry.
None of that stuff could have been proven in a court of law. In fact, I'm sure it all would have been turned on to me.
Pretty sure it was gossiped about in the community.
I was commended at the job I had, repeatedly. I was offered promotions that I didn’t take in order to attempt preserving family time. He turned that into pick fights time.
Every character attribute I was commended for at work, he accused me of the opposite and found flaw for.
Pretty sure the family and community also did the same.
I’ve been Benj watching TH-cam videos of covert narcissist and yesterday is the day I just learned about the term coercive control. I think I need a therapist to help me but I need one that understands the depth of covert Narcissis and coercive control. I pray for everyone in this situation.
Thankful that people are speaking up about these things it’s the only way to stop them .
Coercive Control is traumatic, I've got a load of amnesia about the coercive Control I experienced because it's all dissociated trauma
Thank you. Your content has been incredibly helpful. I've been unpacking and unravelling decades of abuse over the last few years, and it's been so dark at times. But knowing I'm not alone, knowing I'm not imagining this or making it up -- that it actually exists and it has a name -- it has made a world of difference. Thank you.
Wow
Totally agree, without punishment they won t stop
Hope
I get punished by repeated cutting off of grandchildren
The controle they want is terrible ! It seems they can't live without it ! every time they not respect any boundaries at all !
This is a brilliant video. In all of my counseling and research I haven’t heard this term. It hits home though. I really really wish you would speak more about in-laws. Malignant covert narcissistic in-laws. It’s rarely discussed but it’s so terribly awful and dangerous. I had spy wear put on my phone. It’s been a real nightmare
You are a clear, insightful teacher. Thank you for your passion for helping others with narcissistic relationships. Your first hand knowledge is very evident in the way you communicate. Blessings to you!
Absolutely brilliant, I love your mind. I love how you so meticulously break all this down, so eloquently.
Been living w it 5 yrs now. Getting out soon. OMG... Ohhh the neglect.
I greatly appreciate your relative, riveting message. I believe why you do not see this taught in schools and enforced in law enforcement Is because Christians are slow on the uptake. They choose not to respond properly fearing over reaction. Therefore , their under reaction is anemic and insipid . Oh that they would come up to speed in this regard and it would effect education and law enforcement. This should be taught in every Church that is authentic.
I have tried for decades and I know there is a hunger to know more but it gets greatly attacked and impugned.
There is a greater hunger for this teaching than I have ever seen previously.
Thank you. This is a very hard truth that I am seeing now has been happening too me.
My MIL accused me of financial abuse because I earned all the money and my H didn’t work. I now realize that my H was really being abusive. He stayed home with our kids because he didn’t have a career. When they went to school he had trouble holding down a job. When he finally held one down, he kept his money in a separate account. I was paying all the bills and taking on debt at times too. Yet I was accused of financial abuse when I separated our money. He had full access to my entire paycheck that supported our household and I had limited access to his money that he used for whatever he wanted. I’m glad that you mentioned the other side of financial abuse because I find that people just focus on the first one. In my situation it was the opposite.
I love the visual reference to "As good as it gets".
YES!!! JAIL TIME!!!!! I’ll sign up and protest for that one!!!
Thanks.
3:27...wow. I remember as a kid my mom doing this.
I was suckered into his crazy. Thanks for teaching us about coersive control!!
When I was a teenager, mother sat with me in the living room and she was having an argument with father, who happened to be in the kitchen cooking for us, I remember this vividly, she thought it would be funny to give my father the finger behind his back in front of me and encourage me to do the same, I’m glad I didn’t, but now I’ve come to grips with what was really going on
This is awesome content. Thank you for this very true and eye opening information. 🙏🏽
How could you get out of this hell and make yourself like what are you. How much courage and pain it took.
Get out of that situation, & RUN FAST & hard!
This can also happen in a sibling relationship, whereas, one sibling may coerce the other sibling to commit an act they would not normally do on their own. In addition, the NARC sibling knows that the act will have consequences down the road and was designed to gain control over the innocent sibling, and set them up. In my case, it was done to pin others against me, and was probably done out of jealousy.
Personally, I have had money used as a weapon in my life, to exacerbate the victimization further ! I have been struggling and victimized in one facet or another for decades ! The whole situation is clinically insane and what happened to my infant daughter and myself is CRIMINAL !
I am glad that the UK recognizes that it is an offense, and there must be consequences ! The problem in the US is that some forms of psychological/financial abuse is not recognized as criminal, even though it can be deadly in certain circumstances.
Coercive control can happen in romantic relationships, families, employment situations, and other interpersonal situations/relationships.
All my thumbs up. Best Channel i ever found!
bit of classic Jill, can't go wrong. Thanks.
I love the way you present these topics, Jill! You are GREAT! Do you have a video on how you escaped those narcs and got your freedom?
I can relate to every bit of it
My ex-wife has always used parental alienation as a means to try and control me.
Thank you very much for sharing with us your perspective on this very important matter. Stay positive.
Thank you so much for this Jill, People shouldn't give chances if they change, They give appearance they have it's a manipulative tactic, I have to much self respect and dignity to fall for all that, I want nothing to do with this person, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high God ☘🌹❤💚💗🌈💙💜📚🦁⚖😊♱🕆😇😃💛
amen jill great video strong truths for sure
Can we make requests? I have several members of my family that I would call the "Nice Narcissist." How I would describe them is extremely pleasant to be around, never exhibit rage, irritation, put downs or negative emotions. Yet they are very slyly exploitative. One of them gets his wife to do literally everything- take care of the kids, bring home the bacon, help with the homework. He does just enough to give himself plausible deniability that he's contributing, but he's really a moocher. The other is a sibling who gets people to bend over backwards with the most ridiculous requests, all with a happy face and an "I just love my family and want to spend time with them" attitude. The Nice narcissist- I would like to understand more about this dynamic.
That’s a covert narcissist. Google covert narcissism and read about it. I have several videos on my channel devoted to covert narcissism.
@@theenlightenedtarget Thank you so much for your reply. I have learned about covert narcissists from other channels, but they always emphasize that they are "shy" or act like victims. Neither of those descriptions fit the kind of covert narcs I see in my life. They seem to love putting on an act of how positive, friendly, and caring they are.
@@gloryrobinson8000 just my opinion, maybe their favourite weapon is manipulation probably through lies with just a few truths sprinkled in it with a smile on their face & a PRETEND positive attitude. Maybe they have discovered that through this method they get the desired result they want with the least resistance & fight. This is Covert Narcissism. You may like to research more about Covert Narcs as they all use different techniques of abuse.
@@theenlightenedtarget I have a question, are all malignant narcissists covert narcissists?
@@kazeeevaughan3380 I finally found a definition that fits- the "Hero Covert Narcissist." Apparently there are subcategories within the Covert Narcissism category- the "Victim" and the "Hero." The narcissists in my life more typically fit into the Hero category. They like to be seen as compassionate, positive, caring, etc. But it's all an act to make themselves look good. Behind the facade is a lot of passive aggression, but they rarely take on the Victim status unless it works to their advantage.
I'm 55 & my malignant narc mother still abuses me w/ her public shaming, screaming, public verbal abuse ( I'm a loser, you'll never mount up to anything, I should have never had you in the first place, etc.) She called my professors in college, & my bank. She sabotages everything I do & everything I do always gets back to her. " I heard you went to the doctor. Why do I have to call you to find this out? What else are you hiding from me?" "So help you if I ever find out that your hiding something from me." ( as she's lecturing me}
Is there any way you can go low or no contact?
@@shebakali6 Impossible. I'm planning on moving out of state. She got wind & is moving there as well.
Describes my former. All the threats, flying monkeys & alienation. Trouble is, I see the laws you suggest as only being used by vindictive narcissistic women against their husbands. Men can't be seen as ever being the victim.
Voice for Men, Tara Palmatier are good resources for men targeted by Narc and borderline partners
Thank you! Great explaination and examples!
The financial abuse is insane.
Thank you so much for this video, I am learning a ton from this channel!
He said we should let each other know if our exes got in touch. I found out he visited his ex and unfortunately for me i reacted badly. He then went on to say how it was me stopping him from being friends with his ex. I have no grudge for his ex ever. It was his lies that hurt me. He threatened my sons safety and he has everbodys sympathy now. Apparently i am able to con psychiatrists to diagnose ptsd and depression yet he says he doesnt believe mental health exists. What a head mess he put me in. Thank you for your videos
This is so simplistic.
THAT, what all described, was once ME! to a T!
Wow!!!
My ex isolated me from all my friends and family. He controlled all our money, even though I had a good job. I had to ask daily fir a small amount of cash to buy food. He despised all parts of my body. Despised my choice of books, clothes or art. Never said he lived me but was outraged if I spoke to another man (often also imagined). He found another woman and I was free after 10 years. She saw the light and left him within a year. Sorry for the rant. Good to express it, which I have never really done. Thank God this behaviour is becoming recognised.
Thank you
It's not always a spouse. My Dad does this to me all the time. I am not allowed to have friends over, I am not allowed to take precautions from covid, I am not allowed to stand up for myself. I am so tired I don't feel good. It's wiped me out. I am trying to leave. I am an adult but it's as though I am a child. I want to get help but I am afraid that would be used against me too. It's like I am trapped.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Thank you! 🙏🏻❤🙏🏻
I am & always will be grateful for you, you have helped bring so much awareness to me about my ex & his family, & now I even know what to watch for when I meet new people, I hope & pray that all of this does get against the law very soon here in the US, nobody should ever be able to get away with causing any kind of harm or hurt to another person! Truly from the bottom of my heart, thank you, you are a very beautiful soul!!! Stay blessed! Much love & light!
🙏🏻🕉☯️☮🫂✌🏻❤
The system is ran by narcs. If it did become a law they would just twist it around on us while they skate off scot free per usual.
Its upto the govts & courts to understand and enact required laws to punish & make accountable these monsters 👹 who play with other human lives & abuse ppl psychologically.
♥️jill. Can't wait!
My narc mum likes to monitor everything. Including food intake. My flying monkey enabler father told me the other day I am eating too much Nutella & he is “concerned” about that because it’s not healthy. I know, it’s kinda ridiculous. Cause I was wondering who opened it to see how much I ate. Mum, or him? When stuff like this happens now, I notice! It’s always felt bad but now I understand how wrong this is. I have an eating disorder. They ignore that though. But how much I’m eating is apparently important & especially bothersome to them. Food items are monitored vigilantly. It sucks. I’m trying to move out by the end of the year.
Very good information. Thank you for taking the time to put this together and to share it with us.
Good information! Thanks, Jill! ❤
realizing this has been happening to me.
Only 11K views?
This should have 2 million views.
You spoke the ONLY TRUTH !
Mothers often perpetrate against children.
Top notch reveal of the nasty narc
This happend to me as a child. Iam from Sweden and my mother put me on a plane to africa with a one way ticket and ’forgot about me’ I was left to fend for myself in an unknown country at the age of 11.
Wow!!
I'm glad you've found your way here,feed your mind, body and soul with this info.It will get better....
@@melinatedvessel6840 yes I will thank you
Africa is a continent
I guess my husband never used Coercive Control because I'm not and have never been afraid of him.
And he knows demanding me to do something will get him just the opposite.
He does try to gaslight me, doesn't work.
He does rage once in a while and I look at him like he is an idiot.
But there are a lot of things that I think he does to get a reaction out of me or to make things hard for me with me being disabled.
It won't be happening much longer. I'm out at the first opportunity.
True. My parents should have landed in jail
Lived this, exactly
parental alienation is the crisis the century and its getting worse as courts seem to encourage it.
the adversarial situation in court is not designed to deal with divorce and kids.
the courts force kids to become commodities and once that happens, it never changes.
my sons relationship with me simply brings pain to his life, so now we have no relations. he is 22 and completely stuck in his teenage life with his mommy. nobody can break through.
like so many angry people, she has her permanent fan club in my son. just sux on every level. for him.
i’ve seen this in other families too. and its the most destructive thing that nobody seems to do anything about.
whats stunning about alienation and coercive control is that after a while the child fills in fake information almost automatically. like autopilot for the abused. my ex’s abuse of my son is the crime of the century. and removing me from his life is cruel. and unencumbered by my ex’s relatives and others.
I don't think the courts are capable of determining who the real abusers are. A narcissist can push you to all your limits, and then video you when you finally blow up, and start crying right after they just said the most awful, demeaning things possible.
Also, children now days, need to have their internet activities monitored, and sometimes you need to ground them from their phone or car, etc, because they need some discipline. They consider that abuse. If you can't do things like that, then they will run wild and mess up their future.
Narcissists are such good liars, that if the courts get involved, a bunch of nice people will have their lives destroyed.
Coercive Control can be very subtle too.
Ex: Babe you should put all the cars n trucks in my name.
After all, it becomes stressful for you to handle the registrations n insurance. You have trouble w ur memory. You always do careless mistakes w ur memory, so let me help you. I have a superb relationship w our agent, it'd be easier for you to just have me handle the vehicles.
Babe, I know you want the trucks and cars back in your name. I know you bought them. But clearly you don't love or trust me to help you. You can't make good decisions. Ur forgetful n if I don't hold the titles, you will make a mistake w bills and then we'll lose the vehicles.
A lot is subtle even though it feels just as horrible n a loss of ur choice n autonomy.
This is how I lost everything.
Being made to feel my existence was a walking talking flaw n if I wanted my basic rights, I was debased n debated into confusion n contemptuous treatment for even asking permission to think or feel for myself.
Thank you.
Excellent video! Sometimes the isolation is done by 'allowing' and demanding that you spend 'lots of time' with your relatives to learn with who are not students there while doing assignments instead of with spending time with other students only when your relatives are supposed to be at work just so they can get together to laugh over the efforts those students are making. Often coersive control includes trickle down invisible chains from the top people in bondage depending most on it all the way down to the bottom of the pyramid hierarchy in their mother's womb when being isolated from the womb of mothers after coping with gaslighting not good enough then recommending and pushing their mothers into consuming poisonous to you substances including so called 'always' recreational drugs, 'birth' control pills, cruel things recommended for to be inserted into the womb, etc. The Statue of Liberty has a law written in stone against that last stop in the chain of coersive control. [The Statue of Liberty was a gift from France to NEw York] You would think that all Americans are thankful to the people of France too for that gift however some instead for example see the right of French parents there to refuse the promotion of only gender neutral pronouns being used in class when that would be so impractical that no elementary school child could learn after being born to Francophone parents.
Thank You very much ☆
I'm 26 ......many people my age going through this having our kids turned on us
My s-i-l alienated her daughter, our neice, from us because she felt threatened by our nieces love for us.
My s-i-l is incredibly insecure and jealous of anyone she views as competition. She's sick.
When my niece chose a college she opted to attend a university several states over and after graduation decided to move to the west coast to get away from her mother on the east coast.
Hopefully your niece will contact you at some point now that she is away from the parental home. My Narc sister alienated her daughter, my niece from me for the same reason. Now the niece hates me and is training her son to hate me.
Awesome video, awesome dog!
When I married my ex she said she would just put my new phone on her account because we get a discount. Of course i didn’t even know what a narcissist was. Later it became apparent she was tracking me and looking at my calls and seeing who I messaged. She was also an. Accountant and took care of our finances until I caught her and her evil daughter stealing $900 out of my truck. If you think the narc mom is bad, wait until you meet the mini me👿☠️
I really really thought he was a good person. A narc, but I thought he really was GOOD under it all. I couldn’t believe a man who spent so much time tearing his wife down over how she doesn’t trust him enough could be cheating while doing it.
Couldn’t comprehend a man who was kicking out his wife & 3 children could manipulate her into not having a bank account & quitting her job just to take all the money & file for divirce leaving them w a couch. Nowhere to put the dang thing! And then tell her that if she wanted to prove her trust, she wouldn’t hire an attorney bc she needs to show she really doesn’t think he is a bad person.
OMG I fell for that total BS.
Yeah. There are ppl who are THAT evil.
What a cute dog!
My son's stepmother has been doing this to him for 2 years now. He's terrified of "breathing wrong." She tells him she's psychic, that she can tell when people lie to her, and that she controls ghosts. He's 10 😢
Great channel! I love your videos. I have a question. How do you deal with a toxic coparent while in public together? I’m specifically talking about extracurricular activities. The mother of my child creates so much unnecessary drama and I know she is hoping that I react.
I Agree.
I think a lot of people miss this song TH-cam everybody has a channel on narcissism but they don’t really understand how covert these people can be to brainwash others and turn them against their own family members like a cult and that needs to be discussed in parental alienation as well and how they control their victims and how it’s insidious and slowly and calculatedly driven. I’m talking to an expert now because I watch his videos and I hear so much stuff that doesn’t add up it’s not even true and a lot of people do not have extreme extensive research and understanding personal and academically in these manners yes so many people have this TH-cam channel nothing against you it just seems like that’s not discussed enough how it’s like brainwashing and it’s not obvious and it seems like a lot of people focus on overt narcissism. My point is it Is not easy to see these people when In a relationship with them and usually by the time you’re in love with him or have children with them that’s when things go crazy but you’re not for sure exactly what it is.
So far what she says seems to be legit from my understand of what I have been thru and my personal trainer! Not many therapist understand this brain washing and you need a course in criminology to understand it!
Hi Jill, would it be possible for you to please explain further about the whole mind reading thing that certain narcissists do? Thank you so very much!