What It’s Like After Getting Back Together With Your Ex
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 พ.ย. 2024
- Clay Andrews shares his story of what it's like after getting back together with your ex based on his own experience.
Leave a comment below letting me know what you are doing to make sure your ex knows that they aren't walking back into the same relationship.
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Getting back together with your ex can be a complicated process for sure.
But what waits on the other end of all of this whole experience?
I certainly didn't expect things to be quite the way that they were after my ex and I got back together.
What I was most surprised about was the fact that there was actually a fair amount of trust and hurt that needed to be rebuilt.
And quite frankly I didn't know how to do that at all.
They say that getting back together after a breakup is the easy part. I know it feel so hard, but in a certain respect, it's only the beginning of a much more challenging process.
That's what I want to share with you today in this video.
Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices.
The biggest thing that helped me is looking to understand why my husband behaved in ways that triggered me. In my head it was always because he didn’t love me or care about me and this caused problems. Now I understand that it has nothing to do with that.
I also expected him to meet all of my needs. He was my whole life. This was very hard on him and made him feel like he wasn’t good enough because I was never satisfied. Now I’ve started meeting my own needs.
I’ve been working hard on my mental health the last 9 months since our separation. It’s really paying off. At this point, connecting with him is effortless and I know we’ll be back together some day. In the last few weeks it really feels like I have my best friend back and I am so so happy.
Thats great! So its just a separation not a divorce? Im having the same dynamic in my relationship, I had a lot of expectations which he didnt react to which drove me crazy, felt unloved etc. Since Im working with a therapist to become secure in myself I feel so calm. But on the other hand I think maybe he really isnt that great for me...
@@How.Dare.You. Thanks! Yeah I live in Germany and you have to be separated for a year before you can get a divorce. That’s awesome! I’m feeling that same calmness and it feels so nice. I worried my husband wouldn’t be right for me too but as he saw my improvement he also made improvements thankfully.
@@hannahh.8422 omg this is really exactly whats happening here with us. Since he sees the changes, he is scared to let me go... I hope it works out either way for both of us
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Hey Clay! My ex and I have been chatting about life and inside jokes the past few days. We both have pretty much moved on from the past relationship. My bestfriend actually messaged him, and asked him if he’d ever be comfortable with moving from friendship to relationship with me ever again. He had responded by saying he wanted to ease into things, and that he’s not thinking about getting into “the relationship” at the moment, since his life is busy and unbalanced, and needs to focus on himself and getting his life together, and that he still really wants to be friends with me. She asked him if by “the relationship” he meant friends or dating, and he said dating. Now, he didn’t say “I’m not thinking about getting into A RELATIONSHIP right now,” he said “I’m not thinking about getting into THE RELATIONSHIP right now.” That isn’t anyone else. Neither of us can predict the future. He doesn’t wanna date right now, he just wants to see where life takes the two of us. I think I’m on the right track. He actually initiated a deep conversation, yesterday, too! 😁
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Hello Clay. I've been watching your videos for a little over a year and half now. Thank you for being there for me, and everyone! During national quarantine last year I went through a tremendous growth period and really made some sense of what had happened with my ex. In some ways, she did not treat me well and the temptation to just walk away is there often. I feel I'm in the stage of it being a great effort on my part to keep communications open. I think a stubborn, immature me would rather just walk away and not deal with the repetitive jealously problems (and few other problems, like alcohol problems). I'm finding these issues to recur in her behavior, and I realize I can not change her behavior or expect that it will change. I can only continue to refocus on what I can control, my own behavior. Instead of me getting mad at her getting jealous, I am refocusing on what are things I may be doing to contribute to her jealousy. Doesn't always make me feel better but I'm open to always growing, never gonna stop doing that. Anyways, Love the nature walk setting in this video. You said comment on what we are doing to not walk back into the same relationship and I can say I'm doing a couple of things. When she (in our original relationship before breakup) first got so jealous and hallucinated about seeing things that weren't actually happening, I was so mad I gave her the silent treatment. For months. I did it cold turkey and she went through something from it, but I didn't know until way later. She is still cautious to talk about it to me, so I have to imagine it's something deep to her, likely to include triggers from her past. I think many of our issues have involved triggers from her past and I have to remind myself to exercise patience against those things bc while they affect they me, they are not specifically my fault. And the reminder I give myself comes from you helping me refocus on what is important, to focus on the emotional connection above all else. I struggle with often being too passive so I appreciate your advise on taking an active stand to change things. I'm looking for ways to keep doing that.
That's great to hear and Im always happy to hear that my advice has helped someone :)
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Thank you Clay. Even though things did not go the long haul with Big Ex, you still share the care and respect you had for one another, the lessons, and hope that other relationships at this crossroad can still work, per your suggestions. It can go either way, that is helpful. Like the walk scene.
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Great content. Also do more videos outside please :)
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What does it mean when he shows all the signs of love , gives the look , is extremely protective in the good way still , calls you the cute nicknames and basically everything is there but he says he don't "feel" love towards me, he has openly admitted he wants to be with me and wishes he can feel love towards me again
What does this mean??
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Me and my ex bf of 2 yrs got back together after he had a 2 month rebound. I find myself wondering how he felt for her and what he liked better about her. I’m trying not to but can’t help it as I know he compared us and he even said she’s better in bed while we were broken up and that hurt me. Now being back together I’m trying to give him more in the bedroom but I can’t help but feel a lil insecure. She was skinnier than me so maybe he found that more attractive. Also the feeling of sex with a new woman is probably great for a guy. So I feel insecure and trying to be better than her and it sucks honestly. But we have a better emotional connection than he had with her so I have that upper hand at least. This is my first time getting back with an ex but we feel like soulmates. I wish he hadn’t said such mean things during the breakup though because they’re stuck in my mind. 😢
Clay your really amazing, I have been watching you for a week and so far everything has been going pretty decent actually between me and my ex. We both met up and hanged out for like 2 hours today and had a nice time, we kissed hugged and you know the rest. But she was in a hurry of leaving so I asked her if she wanted to see me again soon and she said that she didnt know because her Rebound (NOT OFFICIAL) didnt like her hanging out with me, they are not official but they are going on dates and hanging out alot. But later this evening She asked me if we could hang out on saturday, she told me that she didnt care what her ''Rebound date'' Was thinking and she just wants to hangout with me. Can you give me some tips on how to make her want to be with me me more often then just wanting to be with that other rebound guy, and what can I to get more emotional connected with her
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