Speaking as your opponent, let me just say that I thought you played with extremely impressive resilience in a difficult endgame. And I also thought that, although objectively it is perhaps not best, Nb3 in the opening was a good move from a practical point of view that strongly suggests a good intuitive understanding of a position you've never analysed before. Losses like this in the last round when you get back in it but still lose are always super painful for everyone, and it happens to everyone. Don't get dispirited, you are a good player who I'm sure will only keep improving a lot if you stick with it!
I probably said this already, but being one of the guys that grew up in the old times, there was nothing, and I mean *nothing*, even comparable to the amount of content we are getting today. And I am not talking just about top chess of course, but specifically the things you are doing... for someone learning the game, wanting to experience their first tournaments, how they works, the atmosphere, the people there, the ups and downs of classical chess; none of that was available, let alone watching a "one of us" club player playing real time from the other side of the world, so these videos, the live streams and the recaps, are just fantastic. There is always gonna be those that turn their nose up watching a lower rated player showing their games and sharing their lines and thoughts, but they are the same kind of players that scream "ah, blunder!!" when a world champion plays a move and a black&white bar fills up, or that would never have the guts to show their horrors at the board For everyone else, this content is just so relatable, and fun and engaging... so, happy that you completed the journey and we got to see it, and good luck for the next one!
Thank you for both streaming this tournament AND doing all of the breakdowns--both the ones where you won and the ones where you didn't. I have been learning so much, and your teaching/breakdown explanations are incredible. I also think it is admirable that you are holding back some of your prep. Some streamers/content creators give away too much, I think, and they become detached from the game and disillusioned. It is awesome that you are a chess player first and then also a content creator; not the other way around.
I absolutely agree with you. Even a lot of adult males in my observations dont have the guts to lose and put that loss on public and tell about the emotions about it. Even at world class GMs a lot of them saying "no comment" when they lose. Most men pretend to be strong. But a lot of women are mentally much stronger than men, in my experience. And lularobs is a very good example! She is stronger than she thinks.
Hey Lula. Thank you for such an honest recap of your last game. It was a hard watch, especially when you said how much criticism you get and the attitude of playing chess in England. Please keep playing, don't give up, your still learning and you had a good tournament.
Kind of heart wrenching watching this! Chess is a cruel hobby, but also so satisfying when things go well. Hang in there!! Fun times will be back!!! (PS you did a selfie with me on the Tuesday!! I was very happy - famous chess streamer and all .... )
TOTALLY agree with your statement on the status of chess. Those that have issues with the progress made by chess, because of streamers and chess sites are being ignorant. They'd rather sit back and watch this awesome game stay insignificant, with players always complaining that if Fischer had promoted chess when he was world champion, people would look at it differently. Chess is booming, because of the Perfect Storm that was created by 'The Queen's Gambit' the pandemic, and streamers. I started a chess club last November. We have over 500 adult members...countless kids. This would never have happened before 'The Queen's Gambit ' and the pandemic. I know, because I tried starting it before. So, I appreciate the work of all the streamers...ALL OF THEM.
Thank you for sharing your OTB experience and insights, Lula. Congrats on your performance, it was good! Just ignore all negative feedback and keep doing what you are doing, for chess is fantastic!
Thanks for sharing. Being an intermediate and not a master you surely have valuable things to say and show to and for beginners such as myself. In a few years your vlogs of 2024 will surely be an even more valuable demonstration of chess play and improvement. As someone who doesn't get my kicks from competition or winning prizes I like that the perfect game of chess is always a draw, and if one wins and another looses it means the winner won because the other was weaker and was not perfectly paired against their match and also the one who has spent some of their life studying has been paired against another who has spent a different amount of their life studying. Keep going Lula.
I don't care what anyone says, i think it's very impressive to analyse your games so publically and honestly. I think you're very brave. Don't stop doing what you are doing.
Really love your tournament recaps, and I especially appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. I can't imagine having internet randos criticize me after a tough close loss in classical chess, it would drive me mad
I’m glad you’re happy with 4.5/9 in the end and enjoyed the blitz. In this specific opening, basically the reason it is called the Accelerated Dragon is because Black bends over backwards to do everything else before the d pawn, in order to move it two squares. And you mostly seemed to handle that side of things, honestly. Nd5 is only a mistake because it allows Black to pivot from trying to attack into playing positionally for a good endgame, which is not obvious at all. You mobilised well in the early part of the endgame, and the moments where you were supposed to give up material to get the queenside rolling faster also were not obvious at all. I thought you mostly handled it well, though apparently we will not be seeing Open Sicilians from our creator in the future… As you said, classical tournaments are very tiring. And really rewarding too. But mostly tiring. Most people would know. And for those that don’t, but criticise, I saw the ‘man in the arena’ speech quoted somewhere (here?) recently and it goes HARD on the exact type of person you’re moaning about lmao. Hope we see you in action again soon (not too soon?). Thank you for the recaps.
Thanks for the recap. It is always good to see actual player recaps. I think you are too hard on yourself. In my opinion, as an average player with a lot of experience, you played the opening and middlegame alright but the ending needs some work. At tournaments it is always a problem in the later rounds with lower scoring players dropping out resulting in defaults. It is difficult to do much about this except perhaps ban the player from the next tournament. Good luck for the next tournament!
Sorry I wasn’t clear, we weren’t all defaulted against in round 8. There were 4 defaults against the 3 of us throughout the event! And makes sense my ending was the worst part, as I had already used all my time 😅
I still remember a game that I lost in a tournament. It was a draw but I blunder, I try to put some resistance but all I wanna to do was cry. Chess is a brutal game.
"I love classical chess [...] I love the time it gives me to think about a position [...] but I find it so emotionally draining [...] i think that I just care too much" - this is how i feel! And all i am doing is playing club matches and then slinking off home, only been doing it for a year. And yes i enjoy it, i love the feeling of playing proper chess, with time to think. I won my last game last week, but i came back and said to my partner that i think i put too much pressure on myself to be able to enjoy it. I'm so nervous during the games. They are starting to feel like I'm just sort of panicking for like 2-3 hours at a time. Which as much as anything else, is very tiring. Must be so much harder when you're making videos about each game.
Hi lularobs. You may be disappointed with the result, but please be proud of the way you played! I was watching live and it was gripping stuff! It was like when I watch one of those classic five set matches at Wimbledon where a player is two sets and a break down, they win the third set tie-break, win the fourth set and it's 5-5 in the fifth set with all still to play for. At one stage, it looked all over but you kept fighting and fighting and there were times when you were right back in it! Kudos to your commentary team too, who added to the drama. It's sad to hear that you've been getting criticism. I respect streamers such as yourself who are putting your games out there. From my perspective, it will always be for me an opportunity to learn, so thank you. If you're streaming next when you're in Paris, perhaps I should sign off with "Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année! À bientôt"
Tough loss but well done for persevering for such a long time. Players, even the strongest players, forget their opening prep all the time; it happens and you hopefully have learnt something from the experience. If I am being honest with you, when I came into the playing hall to tidy some equipment away at the end of the tournament, you looked stressed and exhausted; 8 days of classical chess does that to you. Please remember: What you have done is the equivalent of running a marathon over a number of days. Tournament chess is insanely difficult and you should be proud of yourself for completing 9 grueling rounds over the days - Not many chess players can say they have done that. Take a well-deserved break and I look forward to your next set of tournament recaps :-).
You know.. besides that, that i agree with your in my opinion healthy relationship to chess, and because i peaked at around same elos like you for decades, i have the conclusions: its really good enough. If you look into the percentages.. you are already better than 95% of chessplayers on this planet. And thats with only 4 years of chessplaying. To put more efford in it, putting another 4 years, exhausting yourself, just to squish another 1 % out of the rock.. it could be to much... You know we like you as content creator.. you know, we resonate with you, and you resonate with us. There is a fine balance i think between feeling the reward of chess and the content out of it, AND the efford put in it. In the end there is also a life to live. And when chess (or any other thing in life) begins to feel exhausting, just to squish another % out of the rock, it needs to slowed down a bit. To the amount were its fun again. I hope this doesnt comes from top down. Absolutely not, because i am often in the same shoes like you, where i realize "mh, that was emotional exhausting.. this maybe took more from me away than it gave me".. Meaning: i still often miss that sweet spot between efford and feeling rewarded. Its quite a thin balance in my opinion. And yes that also doesnt mean that we never should suffer a bit. Because like you pointed it out perfect: because you "suffer" it means you care. And because you care, you was able to get that good in so short time! Its really a shooting star developement! So yes, a bit of pain is the salt ingredient for success. Definetely. But as Paracelsus said: the dose makes the pois*n. So yes recognizing "whats the sweet spot for me between efford/pain and reward" is individual and differs from person to person. I cant add to much to your thoughts.. all what i wrote come from the same realm as your thoughts, in my opinion. But maybe it further inspires your thoughts on this. To play a competitive chess was a very good idea for content! Definetely! I loved to see your recaps and your journey in that tournement. It wasnt about winning or losing. You are a content creator within the chess sport. And that means: the reward was the adventure! And i dont say that out of pity. Because 4,5 of 9 is indeed a good score in a over-the-board tournament! And as you said it with a healthy state of mind: its probably the last tournament for a long time. Because its the adventure whats all about.. this was worth to take. And there are other adventures too.. And you know: how much we enjoy it :) Hope i found the words to my thoughts. Because i know how bad it can be when someone feels like "i explain whats the problem" . As you said it: you know every critics because you have already all those thoughts. So i hope nothing what i wrote comes as something like "i explain to you whats the problem" .. Its much more a : i am in the same shoes like you. And i think: it gives, and it takes. Its how people like us are, and think, and feel.
I remember when GM Shankland lost such endgame. That was so funny to me becouse he wrote a large book on rook endings😅. Don't worry, your play with every tournament gets better. Big hug 🤗
Ive been playing chess for decades before the internet and been following you off and on from when you started streaming. All I can say is that I won't make any criticism or suggestion at all. You're very impressive as you are and if sometimes people don't let you know that, but only the critics and smart Alecs contact you, then that must be difficult. Go well.
Honestly I think you played great this game. You didn't know the opening because it was your first time playing it but you still got a pleasant position and it really just came down to time pressure at the end. If anything your ability to hang on despite the time disadvantage is a testament to your skill. Openings and endgames are rough because if you haven't learned or memorized as much as your opponent, it feels like it's just brute force calculation and you always feel worse because you don't want to play a bad move but you also don't want to play into your opponent's prep so you just feel bad. You're a very strong chess player and the haters are usually just insecure about their own rating, misogynistic, and trolls. And as an open sicilian player for White, the secret is it's a scary opening even if you know what you're doing. You're always constantly scared and so is your opponent. So if you're scared while playing it, you're doing it right then lol.
Doing this in front of so many people, especially as a player that's not like grandmaster level or something, is a huge challenge. I'm sure there's a great community that supports you and just enjoys engaging with the content and your chess journey, but at the same time it opens you up to so much negativity and people that are just there to hate and be negative. I can really imagine this putting a huge downer on things. Unsollicited advice in itself can already be super frustrating, let alone a bunch of people actively putting you down and things like that Add that on top of the fact that content creation, and playing chess itself can already be super draining in multiple ways, and it's a really difficult thing to handle. I hope you have a good support system around you to deal with it I found your channel relatively recently but I've really enjoyed the content you put out, and game reviews are always interesting to hear your thought and ideas about the game, and your experiences while playing it. It might be good to take a break but I hope you still keep the desire to keep going
Great tournament 👏. You’re definitely way too hard on yourself. Unless you’re a pro and can focus 100% it’s nearly impossible to dedicate all your time to studying openings etc and still juggle day to day life! I’ve tried to work on a few openings but there are obviously millions of variations and often what you prep is wasted from very early on. I was driving myself insane thinking could learn everything. I now focus on just general principles and hopefully sound moves. It’s often the middle game plans I struggle and very hard to prep those. Probably a case of letting the results take care of themselves and focus on the process and over time it will come. The 10,000 hours approach etc and given a lot of Chess is pattern recognition then just playing should help over time (I hope anyway!). Enjoy a break 👍
For most people around our level, even playing in a tournament requires a certain amount of courage. You might blunder a piece, or show your ignorance of a basic endgame, and feel a fool because people can see what you did. Streaming your games, and posting your thoughts afterwards, requires a whole other level of courage. I admire your resilience, and envy you for it. Please keep playing. But also keep not-preparing against the Philidor, cos that's what I play.
"Maybe I care too much". A large part of competitive sport is controlling ones emotions. Determination is one of the key elements required in order to improve performance. However, in your case it would seem your determination comes at the expense of your confidence. Determination is essential but breeds self doubt just as over confidence breeds a lack of determination.
Its been hard to watch how much you were upset by the setbacks in this tourney - a bit like my younger self. I once played the legend Bronstein in a bog-standard tourney alongside other club players - he had absolutely no interest in ratings, memorising openings, "prepping" or winning per se. He just wanted to try out ideas and watch the patterns and logic of the game unfold.
Ignore the critics. Have fun. It’s a game after all. I just learnt the moves this week and am already amazed by how much fun this game is. I have always ignored criticism. Folk do it to make their sad little egos feel better. Just smile, take a breath, and remember that they don’t matter. Never let anything you cannot control become your problem.
It's so damn easy to toss around comments and critisism through the internet using a nickname. I would not give too much attention to comments like that. Chess is a learning process for a lifetime, everyone plays a bad game every now and then. Even a World Champion can blunder a piece in one move as we have seen. So my advice would be not to take hostile comments too seriously. One can immadiately see which comments have been written simply to irritate ad which ones are written with a sincere idea to offer constructive options. I have played for 25 or so years and I'm around 1900. Despite of that I still find every single sicilian line to be 'threatening' and not comfortable so please don't feel bad if you feel the same about sicilian openings. Of course one always ends up playing positions one does not find to be too comfortable but anyway. Opening 'theory' is rather important I have learned though. Or atleast familiarize oneself with a few lines per a common opening so one can get a decent position after the first moves. As I mentioned before about the sicilians I have 'created' an opening I can play as white against e5 or c5 and 'every time' get a similar position I'm comfortable with and atleast equal against my opponent. That does help a lot I think. The opening I 'created' just happened to develop on its own while I kept on playing and I found out it's 'always' solid and offers me options and play no matter what my opponent plays against me. Only after several years I found out that opening I had 'developed on my own by just playing and playing' actually is an extremely rare sideline of an e4 opening or a sicilian opening by transposition.
Don't be put off by the cheap critics. Your presentation will likely encourage newer players to follow your example and try competitive chess. I played competitively a lot in my teens (back in the late 60s and 70s(!)) Lots of chess players can be quite rude and arrogant. Keep up the good work.
Please pick up the book I suggested earlier. Winning with Chess Psychology by Pal Benko. Take a look at your self talk. One of my chess club members just ordered it. He's a good player. Just can't seem to beat me. I'm in his head. I suggested he pick up the book, so he can understand his thought process. It'll be helpful for you. You can thank me later. Can't thank Pal Benko, because he's no longer alive. Being so hard on yourself will only set you back. You're young. You have plenty of time to reach your personal goes. As you said, "zero experience ', you'll be fine. You beating yourself up is heartbreaking. YOU WILL BE FINE. Lastly, thank you for the pleasant surprise. Almost didn't recognize you with so little makeup. Very naturally pretty. You should do that more often. A lot more often. Makeup fine. Natural better. Take it easy. Study. Don't pay attention to the negative energy. You'll be fine.
Don't let live streaming and recaps destroy your enthusiasm for chess. If the negative comments become counterproductive, it might be best to focus on the chess rather than content creation.
Young lady - If you want to avoid these well analyzed Sicilian, French or other well-known defenses start playing the English (1. c4) very few players prepare for it.
Being a TH-cam creator must be really hard. Having people being super critical of you the whole time is never gonna be nice. Try and remember that you are the one out there doing it, they are all sat in their armchairs spouting crap to make themselves feel better about their miserable lives.
Speaking as your opponent, let me just say that I thought you played with extremely impressive resilience in a difficult endgame. And I also thought that, although objectively it is perhaps not best, Nb3 in the opening was a good move from a practical point of view that strongly suggests a good intuitive understanding of a position you've never analysed before. Losses like this in the last round when you get back in it but still lose are always super painful for everyone, and it happens to everyone. Don't get dispirited, you are a good player who I'm sure will only keep improving a lot if you stick with it!
Thank you!!! 🥹
👍🏼
I probably said this already, but being one of the guys that grew up in the old times, there was nothing, and I mean *nothing*, even comparable to the amount of content we are getting today.
And I am not talking just about top chess of course, but specifically the things you are doing... for someone learning the game, wanting to experience their first tournaments, how they works, the atmosphere, the people there, the ups and downs of classical chess; none of that was available, let alone watching a "one of us" club player playing real time from the other side of the world, so these videos, the live streams and the recaps, are just fantastic.
There is always gonna be those that turn their nose up watching a lower rated player showing their games and sharing their lines and thoughts, but they are the same kind of players that scream "ah, blunder!!" when a world champion plays a move and a black&white bar fills up, or that would never have the guts to show their horrors at the board
For everyone else, this content is just so relatable, and fun and engaging... so, happy that you completed the journey and we got to see it, and good luck for the next one!
👍🏼
Thank you for both streaming this tournament AND doing all of the breakdowns--both the ones where you won and the ones where you didn't. I have been learning so much, and your teaching/breakdown explanations are incredible. I also think it is admirable that you are holding back some of your prep. Some streamers/content creators give away too much, I think, and they become detached from the game and disillusioned. It is awesome that you are a chess player first and then also a content creator; not the other way around.
It takes guts to do what you do. Don't back down. ❤
I absolutely agree with you. Even a lot of adult males in my observations dont have the guts to lose and put that loss on public and tell about the emotions about it. Even at world class GMs a lot of them saying "no comment" when they lose.
Most men pretend to be strong. But a lot of women are mentally much stronger than men, in my experience.
And lularobs is a very good example! She is stronger than she thinks.
Hey Lula. Thank you for such an honest recap of your last game. It was a hard watch, especially when you said how much criticism you get and the attitude of playing chess in England. Please keep playing, don't give up, your still learning and you had a good tournament.
Thank you for the recaps, don't let anyone bring you down.
Kind of heart wrenching watching this! Chess is a cruel hobby, but also so satisfying when things go well. Hang in there!! Fun times will be back!!! (PS you did a selfie with me on the Tuesday!! I was very happy - famous chess streamer and all .... )
So heartbreaking to see you tear up. You are so brave!!
TOTALLY agree with your statement on the status of chess. Those that have issues with the progress made by chess, because of streamers and chess sites are being ignorant. They'd rather sit back and watch this awesome game stay insignificant, with players always complaining that if Fischer had promoted chess when he was world champion, people would look at it differently.
Chess is booming, because of the Perfect Storm that was created by 'The Queen's Gambit' the pandemic, and streamers.
I started a chess club last November. We have over 500 adult members...countless kids. This would never have happened before 'The Queen's Gambit ' and the pandemic. I know, because I tried starting it before. So, I appreciate the work of all the streamers...ALL OF THEM.
Hey, well done. Appreciated your recap. 😊
Thank you for sharing your OTB experience and insights, Lula. Congrats on your performance, it was good! Just ignore all negative feedback and keep doing what you are doing, for chess is fantastic!
Thanks for sharing. Being an intermediate and not a master you surely have valuable things to say and show to and for beginners such as myself. In a few years your vlogs of 2024 will surely be an even more valuable demonstration of chess play and improvement. As someone who doesn't get my kicks from competition or winning prizes I like that the perfect game of chess is always a draw, and if one wins and another looses it means the winner won because the other was weaker and was not perfectly paired against their match and also the one who has spent some of their life studying has been paired against another who has spent a different amount of their life studying. Keep going Lula.
thank you for all these recaps !!! Keep it up and good luck for the following tournaments
I don't care what anyone says, i think it's very impressive to analyse your games so publically and honestly. I think you're very brave. Don't stop doing what you are doing.
Really love your tournament recaps, and I especially appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. I can't imagine having internet randos criticize me after a tough close loss in classical chess, it would drive me mad
I’m glad you’re happy with 4.5/9 in the end and enjoyed the blitz. In this specific opening, basically the reason it is called the Accelerated Dragon is because Black bends over backwards to do everything else before the d pawn, in order to move it two squares. And you mostly seemed to handle that side of things, honestly. Nd5 is only a mistake because it allows Black to pivot from trying to attack into playing positionally for a good endgame, which is not obvious at all. You mobilised well in the early part of the endgame, and the moments where you were supposed to give up material to get the queenside rolling faster also were not obvious at all. I thought you mostly handled it well, though apparently we will not be seeing Open Sicilians from our creator in the future…
As you said, classical tournaments are very tiring. And really rewarding too. But mostly tiring. Most people would know. And for those that don’t, but criticise, I saw the ‘man in the arena’ speech quoted somewhere (here?) recently and it goes HARD on the exact type of person you’re moaning about lmao. Hope we see you in action again soon (not too soon?). Thank you for the recaps.
Thanks for the recap. It is always good to see actual player recaps. I think you are too hard on yourself. In my opinion, as an average player with a lot of experience, you played the opening and middlegame alright but the ending needs some work. At tournaments it is always a problem in the later rounds with lower scoring players dropping out resulting in defaults. It is difficult to do much about this except perhaps ban the player from the next tournament. Good luck for the next tournament!
Sorry I wasn’t clear, we weren’t all defaulted against in round 8. There were 4 defaults against the 3 of us throughout the event! And makes sense my ending was the worst part, as I had already used all my time 😅
20:16 yes you're right about that, the environment seems to favour the overconfident
Elitism is everywhere really but yes, in England there is more😅
I still remember a game that I lost in a tournament. It was a draw but I blunder, I try to put some resistance but all I wanna to do was cry. Chess is a brutal game.
"I love classical chess [...] I love the time it gives me to think about a position [...] but I find it so emotionally draining [...] i think that I just care too much" - this is how i feel! And all i am doing is playing club matches and then slinking off home, only been doing it for a year. And yes i enjoy it, i love the feeling of playing proper chess, with time to think. I won my last game last week, but i came back and said to my partner that i think i put too much pressure on myself to be able to enjoy it. I'm so nervous during the games. They are starting to feel like I'm just sort of panicking for like 2-3 hours at a time. Which as much as anything else, is very tiring. Must be so much harder when you're making videos about each game.
Hi lularobs.
You may be disappointed with the result, but please be proud of the way you played! I was watching live and it was gripping stuff! It was like when I watch one of those classic five set matches at Wimbledon where a player is two sets and a break down, they win the third set tie-break, win the fourth set and it's 5-5 in the fifth set with all still to play for. At one stage, it looked all over but you kept fighting and fighting and there were times when you were right back in it!
Kudos to your commentary team too, who added to the drama.
It's sad to hear that you've been getting criticism. I respect streamers such as yourself who are putting your games out there. From my perspective, it will always be for me an opportunity to learn, so thank you.
If you're streaming next when you're in Paris, perhaps I should sign off with "Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année! À bientôt"
Your content is great.
Tough loss but well done for persevering for such a long time. Players, even the strongest players, forget their opening prep all the time; it happens and you hopefully have learnt something from the experience.
If I am being honest with you, when I came into the playing hall to tidy some equipment away at the end of the tournament, you looked stressed and exhausted; 8 days of classical chess does that to you. Please remember: What you have done is the equivalent of running a marathon over a number of days. Tournament chess is insanely difficult and you should be proud of yourself for completing 9 grueling rounds over the days - Not many chess players can say they have done that. Take a well-deserved break and I look forward to your next set of tournament recaps :-).
You know.. besides that, that i agree with your in my opinion healthy relationship to chess, and because i peaked at around same elos like you for decades, i have the conclusions: its really good enough. If you look into the percentages.. you are already better than 95% of chessplayers on this planet. And thats with only 4 years of chessplaying. To put more efford in it, putting another 4 years, exhausting yourself, just to squish another 1 % out of the rock.. it could be to much...
You know we like you as content creator.. you know, we resonate with you, and you resonate with us. There is a fine balance i think between feeling the reward of chess and the content out of it, AND the efford put in it. In the end there is also a life to live. And when chess (or any other thing in life) begins to feel exhausting, just to squish another % out of the rock, it needs to slowed down a bit. To the amount were its fun again. I hope this doesnt comes from top down. Absolutely not, because i am often in the same shoes like you, where i realize "mh, that was emotional exhausting.. this maybe took more from me away than it gave me".. Meaning: i still often miss that sweet spot between efford and feeling rewarded. Its quite a thin balance in my opinion.
And yes that also doesnt mean that we never should suffer a bit. Because like you pointed it out perfect: because you "suffer" it means you care. And because you care, you was able to get that good in so short time! Its really a shooting star developement! So yes, a bit of pain is the salt ingredient for success. Definetely. But as Paracelsus said: the dose makes the pois*n. So yes recognizing "whats the sweet spot for me between efford/pain and reward" is individual and differs from person to person.
I cant add to much to your thoughts.. all what i wrote come from the same realm as your thoughts, in my opinion. But maybe it further inspires your thoughts on this.
To play a competitive chess was a very good idea for content! Definetely! I loved to see your recaps and your journey in that tournement. It wasnt about winning or losing. You are a content creator within the chess sport. And that means: the reward was the adventure! And i dont say that out of pity. Because 4,5 of 9 is indeed a good score in a over-the-board tournament!
And as you said it with a healthy state of mind: its probably the last tournament for a long time. Because its the adventure whats all about.. this was worth to take. And there are other adventures too.. And you know: how much we enjoy it :)
Hope i found the words to my thoughts. Because i know how bad it can be when someone feels like "i explain whats the problem" . As you said it: you know every critics because you have already all those thoughts.
So i hope nothing what i wrote comes as something like "i explain to you whats the problem" ..
Its much more a : i am in the same shoes like you. And i think: it gives, and it takes. Its how people like us are, and think, and feel.
I remember when GM Shankland lost such endgame. That was so funny to me becouse he wrote a large book on rook endings😅. Don't worry, your play with every tournament gets better. Big hug 🤗
Ive been playing chess for decades before the internet and been following you off and on from when you started streaming. All I can say is that I won't make any criticism or suggestion at all. You're very impressive as you are and if sometimes people don't let you know that, but only the critics and smart Alecs contact you, then that must be difficult. Go well.
Honestly I think you played great this game. You didn't know the opening because it was your first time playing it but you still got a pleasant position and it really just came down to time pressure at the end. If anything your ability to hang on despite the time disadvantage is a testament to your skill. Openings and endgames are rough because if you haven't learned or memorized as much as your opponent, it feels like it's just brute force calculation and you always feel worse because you don't want to play a bad move but you also don't want to play into your opponent's prep so you just feel bad. You're a very strong chess player and the haters are usually just insecure about their own rating, misogynistic, and trolls.
And as an open sicilian player for White, the secret is it's a scary opening even if you know what you're doing. You're always constantly scared and so is your opponent. So if you're scared while playing it, you're doing it right then lol.
Doing this in front of so many people, especially as a player that's not like grandmaster level or something, is a huge challenge. I'm sure there's a great community that supports you and just enjoys engaging with the content and your chess journey, but at the same time it opens you up to so much negativity and people that are just there to hate and be negative. I can really imagine this putting a huge downer on things. Unsollicited advice in itself can already be super frustrating, let alone a bunch of people actively putting you down and things like that
Add that on top of the fact that content creation, and playing chess itself can already be super draining in multiple ways, and it's a really difficult thing to handle. I hope you have a good support system around you to deal with it
I found your channel relatively recently but I've really enjoyed the content you put out, and game reviews are always interesting to hear your thought and ideas about the game, and your experiences while playing it. It might be good to take a break but I hope you still keep the desire to keep going
Im learning chess from you keep grinding
Be patience 🙏
I absolutely understand! Sometimes you just need to get your mind off chess for a few days to get over tough losses and reprogram.
Great recap! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I enjoyed listening. Oh yeah, did you know about time management?!? LOL That's ok, neither did GM Ding.
Great tournament 👏. You’re definitely way too hard on yourself. Unless you’re a pro and can focus 100% it’s nearly impossible to dedicate all your time to studying openings etc and still juggle day to day life! I’ve tried to work on a few openings but there are obviously millions of variations and often what you prep is wasted from very early on. I was driving myself insane thinking could learn everything. I now focus on just general principles and hopefully sound moves. It’s often the middle game plans I struggle and very hard to prep those. Probably a case of letting the results take care of themselves and focus on the process and over time it will come. The 10,000 hours approach etc and given a lot of Chess is pattern recognition then just playing should help over time (I hope anyway!). Enjoy a break 👍
For most people around our level, even playing in a tournament requires a certain amount of courage. You might blunder a piece, or show your ignorance of a basic endgame, and feel a fool because people can see what you did. Streaming your games, and posting your thoughts afterwards, requires a whole other level of courage. I admire your resilience, and envy you for it. Please keep playing. But also keep not-preparing against the Philidor, cos that's what I play.
"Maybe I care too much". A large part of competitive sport is controlling ones emotions. Determination is one of the key elements required in order to improve performance. However, in your case it would seem your determination comes at the expense of your confidence. Determination is essential but breeds self doubt just as over confidence breeds a lack of determination.
I couldn't stay away! I criticise you for being moving yet still funny whilst having a mini rant.
Its been hard to watch how much you were upset by the setbacks in this tourney - a bit like my younger self. I once played the legend Bronstein in a bog-standard tourney alongside other club players - he had absolutely no interest in ratings, memorising openings, "prepping" or winning per se. He just wanted to try out ideas and watch the patterns and logic of the game unfold.
Was this in an airbnb room? The background looks different.
yeah I filmed 2(?) of my recaps from my Airbnb
Ignore the critics. Have fun. It’s a game after all. I just learnt the moves this week and am already amazed by how much fun this game is.
I have always ignored criticism. Folk do it to make their sad little egos feel better. Just smile, take a breath, and remember that they don’t matter. Never let anything you cannot control become your problem.
You are a good player, seems that you may be too hard on yourself. Chess is a difficult game. I think you had a good tournament.
I think the world of chess is all the richer for streamers.
It's so damn easy to toss around comments and critisism through the internet using a nickname. I would not give too much attention to comments like that. Chess is a learning process for a lifetime, everyone plays a bad game every now and then. Even a World Champion can blunder a piece in one move as we have seen. So my advice would be not to take hostile comments too seriously. One can immadiately see which comments have been written simply to irritate ad which ones are written with a sincere idea to offer constructive options.
I have played for 25 or so years and I'm around 1900. Despite of that I still find every single sicilian line to be 'threatening' and not comfortable so please don't feel bad if you feel the same about sicilian openings. Of course one always ends up playing positions one does not find to be too comfortable but anyway.
Opening 'theory' is rather important I have learned though. Or atleast familiarize oneself with a few lines per a common opening so one can get a decent position after the first moves. As I mentioned before about the sicilians I have 'created' an opening I can play as white against e5 or c5 and 'every time' get a similar position I'm comfortable with and atleast equal against my opponent. That does help a lot I think. The opening I 'created' just happened to develop on its own while I kept on playing and I found out it's 'always' solid and offers me options and play no matter what my opponent plays against me. Only after several years I found out that opening I had 'developed on my own by just playing and playing' actually is an extremely rare sideline of an e4 opening or a sicilian opening by transposition.
Don't be put off by the cheap critics. Your presentation will likely encourage newer players to follow your example and try competitive chess. I played competitively a lot in my teens (back in the late 60s and 70s(!)) Lots of chess players can be quite rude and arrogant. Keep up the good work.
Hey i saw this rabbit sitting on the bed now it's on the shirt
Nice recaps anyway
Please pick up the book I suggested earlier. Winning with Chess Psychology by Pal Benko. Take a look at your self talk. One of my chess club members just ordered it. He's a good player. Just can't seem to beat me. I'm in his head. I suggested he pick up the book, so he can understand his thought process. It'll be helpful for you. You can thank me later. Can't thank Pal Benko, because he's no longer alive.
Being so hard on yourself will only set you back. You're young. You have plenty of time to reach your personal goes. As you said, "zero experience ', you'll be fine. You beating yourself up is heartbreaking. YOU WILL BE FINE.
Lastly, thank you for the pleasant surprise. Almost didn't recognize you with so little makeup. Very naturally pretty. You should do that more often. A lot more often. Makeup fine. Natural better.
Take it easy. Study. Don't pay attention to the negative energy. You'll be fine.
Don't let live streaming and recaps destroy your enthusiasm for chess. If the negative comments become counterproductive, it might be best to focus on the chess rather than content creation.
Chess is hard. Probably three times harder than Law School.
It's hard but all you have to do is protect your king that's it
Young lady - If you want to avoid these well analyzed Sicilian, French or other well-known defenses start playing the English (1. c4) very few players prepare for it.
Maybe you can title this "A Day in A Life of a Human Being" or something like that only better.
Being a TH-cam creator must be really hard. Having people being super critical of you the whole time is never gonna be nice.
Try and remember that you are the one out there doing it, they are all sat in their armchairs spouting crap to make themselves feel better about their miserable lives.
aahh. you're lovely . wanna gi ve you a cuddle and. You are doing great . enjoy whatever happens x
Jesus loves you. He died for the human race which includes you.