ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ธ.ค. 2022
- Hello my lovely peeps!
Todays video I talk about some things that helped me when I was questioning my gender in hopes that it helps you if you're questioning yours! Questioning your gender can be a really hard time in your life and it can be confusing to know how or where to start. These are just a few things that helped me while I was on my gender journey. So I hope they help you too! Be sure to comment down below any other questions you have (I might do a part 2 if y'all like this kind of content) or what helped you on figuring out your gender.
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See I don’t mind she/her pronouns but I don’t feel like a man or a woman so I’m confused. I don’t really like expressing as female either. Idk.
pronouns don't equal gender!
@@AutumnLeaves_011 I know that. What I mean is I don’t really identify as male or female but unlike other trans folk I don’t care if my pronouns reflect that. Some get dysphoric if they are misgendered using the wrong pronouns. I don’t care either way
@@Inamichan you're a valid trans person whether you don't or do care about your pronouns. you don't need dysphoria to be trans
@@Inamichan many non-binary people do indeed get dysphoric when being misgendered, but not everyone does. Many non-binary people use any/all pronouns. Not experiencing dysphoria in any cases when it comes to pronouns is just the way some trans people are and it doesn't make them any "less trans" or less valid
That’s perfectly valid!
I identify as Genderqueer and/or Agender. I don’t identify as a man or a woman, but I’m still perfectly fine with people using whatever pronouns they want for me. I honestly don’t care either way. I’m afab, but I don’t feel gender dysphoria from being called “she.” (my dysphoria mainly comes from wanting top surgery.)
If it’s not helpful, you don’t have to go off of what makes you feel bad, because not everyone experiences dysphoria in the same way. Sometimes you just feel apathetic towards things, rather than it feeling wrong or hurtful.
Instead, it might be helpful to try to find what feels good, what feels right, what makes you feel at home. 🙂
I'm in my 30's and I'm figuring things out. I identify as non-binary and possibly genderfluid, but I also feel like I'm still learning what those terms even mean and what they encompass. I'm honestly amazed at younger people (teens and 20's) who seem to have their identity figured out and who seem to KNOW who they are and own it. Something for people to keep in mind is that much of the resources and support that's available these days just wasn't around or wasn't as easily accessible even ten years ago.
I’d love to chat with you on my podcast, anonymous or not, about this topic, including how different things were 10 years ago.
Nobody truly knows who they are, because there's no such thing as being[static], as humans we aren't linear, we are unfolding, evolving and transcending, who knows who you might be in a decade, not even you. That's why even though I very much support LGBT community and am a part of It I'm not about the labels at all, and I would be would be very sceptic about them. I identify as an ever evolving human being striving to be better, happier, kinder.
Thank you. I am in my 60s and I have struggled with the gender binary for decades. I’m in counsel for gender exploration.
I started using the label demigirl for myself recently and it's really nice. It might not be the final label I use, but I think it's a more comfortable spot to continue exploring from than "girl", which while not exactly wrong also feels oversimplified to me in a way
I knew I was trans since I was 8-9. But I was raised LDS and the gender norms they have are very strict. I struggled with crippling depression my entire life and no one could figure out why. Not even me. I had repressed my identity for so long. I eventually left the church and in 2020 took the time to do some self exploration. At 37 I accepted myself as trans and immediately as soon as I came to terms with that my depression lifted. I've never been happier and life has never had more purpose. I'm a very happy aro-ace trans-fem non-binary person now. Age doesn't matter, be yourself when you know who you are! Thank you for your content!
I’m sorry you had to go through all that. Would you like to tell your story on my podcast, anonymously or not? Also maybe talk about gender norms.
You’re on SSRIs huh
@@RickyWatter32 No. I live in America. Who can afford health insurance in this economy?
@@enso8379 I have health insurance through my job and I manage just fine lol. I live in Vegas.
@@RickyWatter32 I'm happy for you? But something like 28 million of us are uninsured. And a large portion of that are not by choice. I work 50 hours a week at a white collar job and I can't afford the offered insurance from my company because the benefit isn't very generous.
Housing costs have exploded, I have student loans I'm paying on, and all the other usual adult stuff like a car payment. I'm reasonably healthy so I'm gambling that something catastrophic doesn't happen to me because it isn't in my budget to be able to get the coverage I would love to have.
That is why I'd like a public option or a single payer system. But judging from your comments you are likely conservative and by extension lack empathy for anyone else but yourself and those in your social circles.
Please make a part 2! I initially found you for your ace content (as a fellow ace person) but recently I’ve been exploring gender more. So, I would love to see a part 2!
I never question my gender no offense but be honest with yourself
I identify as nonbinary and I think I always knew but I originally classified myself as androgynous since I was small. I never knew I would be the “Q” in LGBTQ; I just thought I didn’t belong. But I’m glad to not only be an ally but also apart of the community 🙌🏽❤️
i identify as homophobic
@@closed1162G.
another tip, if you already have started your gender journey and have been through a lot of identities, you may notice a pattern. I am bigenderfluid(when you switch through multiple genders at the same time.)
Some signs that I was bigenderfluid, I went through a lot of gender identities that were related to gender fluidity. if I identified as a static gender, I would then try to force myself feel that gender if when I didn't. And I've also been through genders that were partially one gender and partially another gender. Another example, if you go through a lot of masculine genders chances are, you're.....a masculine gender(not 100% guaranteed, keep in mind)
When your ADHD bumps into your enby, so your need to feel like everyone likes you overrules your desire to change how you present, because it's better to feel attractive/inauthentic than authentic/inattractive.
Anybody else? Lol
Holy crap, you put it into words! 😧
My rejection sensitive dysphoria from my ADHD is so much stronger than any gender dysphoria that I feel.
So, for example, while I’d prefer people to use pronouns other than “she” for me at times, I still never correct people, because I don’t want to make the situation awkward or embarrass anyone. (I use all pronouns, but “she” gets old really quickly if it’s the only one people use)
Most people, like my coworkers, I’m not even out to yet, because it hasn’t really come up organically. I’m not going to stop a conversation and suddenly come out, just because I’m called a “lady” in a passing comment, because what slight awkwardness I might feel in that moment is nothing compared to the awkwardness I would feel if I put myself in the spotlight. 😓
I’ve said this before, but your “signs you might be non-binary” video is what started me on my gender journey, so thank you! I think allowing things to change is important, and something I especially struggle with. Especially as a gender fluid person (and even that label could change), it’s good to remember that it’s okay for one name and pronoun set to work for you one day, and something different could work better the next. And that it’s also valid for me to not know because my brain is tired and more focused on college finals…
it funny cause there is only 2 genders btw
@@ville__ perhaps you could start decolonizing your view of the world and learn about gender beyond what you learnt in fourth grade < 3
no thx gross < 3
I don’t mean this in an insulting way, but do you think it’s fair to people around you if you change how they have to be around you, too often? I’m not sure what the right number is. But there probably is a limit, right?
@@CarsonHughes85 He/She NEEDS to be insulted.
It's the only way to knock Him/Her out of His/Hers inanity.
Verbally Flaying The Flesh From His/Her Bones is how He/She can eventually, HOPEFULLY grow to be a stronger, better version of His/HerSelf :)
gender is confusing. I've been trying to label myself as stuff, but then when I do I realize that maybe another label fits me better. And also the level at which I experience dysphoria fluctuates a lot, so that doesn't help. Thank you for this video though, makes me feel a little better :)
Edit: so I came to the conclusion that from now on I identify as non-binary. I realized my mistake was that I was looking for a label that's going to be permanent, and because I don't currently know my exact gender (like in what way I am non-binary), it stopped me from identifying with a specific word. But this video reminded me that I can always just change the label I use for myself. So, I identify as non-binary for now, and when I figure out something more specific about my gender, I may switch to that! Thank you again Lynn for this video, you basically got me out of my gender crisis lol. Good luck to anyone out there reading this who is also questioning their gender identity ☺️
gender is gross
@@ville__ 🤔 I don't really get what you mean...? How is gender gross
You should stop looking for ways to label yourself. You're simply the gender that correlates with your sex. If you're biologically a female, you're a woman. If you're biologically a male, you're a man. This might be harder to grasp & come to terms with if you actually struggle with gender dysphoria, but reminding yourself of it is necessary.
@@joliebear9661 I know you're trying to help, but if you think this, get out of this comment section. Everyone (or at least a lot of people) here is figuring out their gender identity, and if you tell them they're all cisgender then that's just wrong.
Trans people exist. End of talk.
@@HyperNovva Trans people do exist, but they're not the gender they want to be. If they were, "transitioning" wouldn't be necessary. I'm being honest with you. This is reality. I do have compassion for people struggling with gender dysphoria, but the first step in loving someone is being honest with them rather than fueling their disorder.
Thank you for this. I'm one of those "older people" you're talking about--I'm 58 and AMAB. Turns out my mid-life crisis is a gender crisis. I haven't been HUGELY dissatisfied with having to be a boy but it's always felt to me like putting on a performance, and there are a lot of girly things I like too (skirt go spinny!). So I'm trying to work out whether I'm transfem or agender or genderfluid or nonbinary or what, and how to express that outwardly.
Anyway I owe a huge debt to you and to all the younger people out there who are putting words and framing around something I spent an entire life not having words or framing for.
I just found your channel today, but I already love you and your content. You helped me understand myself and embrace myself
It's really freeing the tip about allowing yourself to use a label even if you are still questioning. I feel like society puts a lot of pressure into anyone who is questioning their gender and/or falls outside being cis.
Just a few months ago I had an exam from finishing my degree and I remember one text of reading comprehension that stayed with me. It went something like this(not completely accurate of course):
- Defend vehemently what you say today, even if it contradicts what you said yersterday -
My gender journey started with a lot of videos including ones of you Lynn, thank you for helping me in all this mess that is questioning one's gender identity.
“Labels are there for the person who uses them to feel more comfortable “ I needed to hear that
I started my gender journey in the '80s as a child, but I'm still figuring it out. (I'm almost 40!) The internet taught me that I wasn't all alone in this and that has been the biggest help along the way because when you think your experience is "just you" you don't look around for others to help you understand your experience.
You’re on SSRIs right?
omg i love your video, thanks for giving me the courage to be myself in this dark and grey world
It’s like Lynn knew I needed this.
Right now I’m identifying as a bisexual demi-girl but I can’t figure out anything. I am constantly confused if I’m a gay boy or a lesbien girl or what I am… the best thing that I’ve come up with was a unlabeled unlabeled and that’s really confusing to me, even. I haven’t told anyone for two reasons: I’m into theater and theater can be very stressful and you have to be PERFECT. I was born as a female, and if I change into anything more than a demi-girl, I know I’ll never get a role again, unless I’m fully transitioned as a full girl (or demi-girl) or a full boy (or demi-boy)…. My other reason is my partly homophobic, fully transphobic dad, and that’s pretty self-explanatory. :/
Hi Lynn!! I’ve probably said this before, but you’re one of the main reasons I was able to figure myself, so thank you so much for your content. I’m really secure in my identity as genderfluid now. (still working on sexuality haha) I like your videos, have a great life :D
These tips are great!
For me it's that I'm starting to realize that I don't care about my gender. Or pronouns for that matter. While also questioning if gender and pronouns actually matter to me or not at the same time.
Thank you
I hope you liked it!
@@lynnsaga1397 I did
Ive always questioned my gender even as a young child. In time I found out that I am intersex which resulted in many surgeries starting as child and then more surgery and cancer as an adult. all related to sexual development. My DNA is male yet I carry the gene for breast and ovarian cancer for which Ive been treated once before.
I would like to transition to female but I cannot take estrogen because of the risk.
I don't mind being male, I don't identify as a girl or nonbinary and I like using masculine terms to refer to myself or presenting masc. Although, and I don't know why, when someone specifically addresses me as a man/boy etc. it does feel a bit uncomfortable. I don't know how to explain it, it's kinda like feeling a disconnect between my biological sex and my gender I guess, if that makes any sense. Maybe demiboy but that also doesn't seem right to me
Omg I'm the exact same, except just female instead
Same!!!
You guys are on SSRIs huh?
@@RickyWatter32what is it with you and ssri..?
@@Quailbbu In the early 2010s I was apart of a marketing team for antidepressants. Doctors gave them out like CRAZY, you’d be surprise how many people are on them, and they usually don’t work on most people, in fact, they have negative results on most patients.
We have NEVER focused more on Mental Health, Mental meds, in all of history, yet the suicide rate has NEVER been higher.
We don’t even know how SSRIs work truly.
Look in to this, if you did, you’d be concerned with what you find and what these companies have done to young people.
You are a beautiful person lynn you have such a massive caring heart love you so much lynn you make the world a better more accepting place
no they or whatever doesn't tbh
@@ville__ why not? They do in my opinion
@@HyperNovva you are misgendering lynn they are non binary their pronouns are THEY THEM they don't deserve to be misgendered
@@HyperNovva *they
@@AutumnLeaves_011 non binary people go by the pronouns they them you will get of using those pronouns when referring to lynn
I’m so confuzzled but going through your videos has been helpful. I’m getting more comfortable with the idea of gender-fluid but I’m still not sure what I want my pronouns to be if I decide that label fits me. They/them feels safe but I don’t feel nonbinary. I’m comfortable with he/him being AMAB but I also really love she/her and don’t mind when people use she/her to describe me. They/them is also something I enjoy being referred as though because it doesn’t paint me one way or another. This gender identity thing is a lot to handle but I just don’t align all the way male or female. And I don’t align with neither. I think I agree with Jax in that gender sucks lol
It took me a long time, but I’ve learned I’m girlflux nonbinary, and I’m very happy with that identity
I don’t know if I’m a demigirl or just a girl, I don’t really know how to know because I don’t feel anything. What does a girl feel like?
I actually started questioning last night. Since a year or two ago, I’ve been gay cis man. But, I don’t think being a cis man feels right. Idk what I would be, though.
Hi
Hello!
This video is really helpful cuz I was like feamal no nonbinary bo maybe demi girl or maybe non-conforming but I still don't no what I am yet
" The grass is always greener on the other side ..... just be grateful for what you've got! " That's my attitude to being trans. Like a illusion, or even a delusion.
I know it's okay to change it at any time but I hate lying to myself so I overthink and get stressed about it and it makes me not want a gender
Yay im the first one to comment here hi Lynn awesome video thanks for all you do
You’re actually second comment 👍
Thank you so much I'm happy you liked the video!
@@lynnsaga1397 your welcome I always enjoy your videos and LGBTQ community 😊
@@Mx_Ash ok second comment thnx for correcting me 😊
Im only a teen, and it's really hard for me since i wanna have long hair and she/her pronouns but want a musular body and wanna be a male, and it's so confusing for me
Here’s my thing: I accept all pronouns. Someone can call me a boy and I’d completely be okay with it. But I don’t personally identify as he/him/his. Sometimes I do wish I was a little more manly and sometimes I wish I was a little more girly. But I don’t identify as a boy or girl. But I’m okay with all pronouns. So as of right now I’m stuck between gender-fluid and nonbinary.
I'm still not sure where I sit. I like the term demiboy (I'm pretty sure my pronouns are he/they), but then it's really difficult deciding whether I'm specifically genderfluid or just non-binary.
well for me i had trouble figuring some things out but i consider myself non binary and a little on the genderfluid scale so for me its kind of both
So I’m 13 rn and it’s actually my bday haha (happy birthday to me) but I’ve been questioning my gender lately and it really hit me today when we picked up the cake and it said birthday boy instead of birthday girl. Is it weird that I was fine with it? Like I kinda felt happy deep down. I met a friend of a friend and they use the words dude and bro to everyone and it makes me so happy when they say that. I don’t think I’m trans or anything but I don’t think I’m just a girl either 😭 someone help meeee
Step one : have someone you trust enough
Step two: your back at step one....again
Do you felt like considering yourself genderfluid was a mistake or a valid part of your life that ended
It's ok if you don't want to answer
I feel like it was a valid part of my journey. My gender was a lot more fluid when I was younger and it did describe my experience at the time☺️
I’m doing a bit of questioning and there’s a possibility that I’m demigender. Does anyone know any ways I could look into this further?
Oh interesting! Glad you already have at least some clarity on what your gender identity might be! I personally am not demigender (or at least I don't think I am, I'm still questioning my gender), so I can' give much advice. But I recommend you do more research (there's definitely tons of videos on youtube, and many other places for sure) on the topic and if you're comfortable with the label you can start identifying as demigender. Good luck!
im straight and im trying to understand it all about it
2:58 yep true
Another good thing is YOU DONT NEED LABLES.
I am 40 years old and I have just assumed that I am agnder... is it too late?
No lol
1:10 yea
i was watching this at 5am bc i don't sleep and that's when I cant even think and I'm stupid and a child and I dont know my own gender
What?
@@Quailbbu i dont even know
Tip 1 through 5 if yer "Questioning Your Gender"- STOP IT, Get Some Help :)
@@nunyadambidniss do you guys go out of your way to search up lgbt vids to comment this stuff? Because that's kinda looser behavior.
If this was in your recommendations them what are you watching to get it in there 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨
@@nunyadambidniss yer? who's yer Do you mean your? And are you being transphobic bc I can't tell but if you are why comment on it if you can't spell your right?
I'm asexual, gay, genderfluid and transgender.. Is this possible?
i mean it could work im a emby and i consider myself slightly genderfluid and trans so not that out of the ball park
I am so confused right now. Like I feel like a woman and I like the pronouns I have but sometimes when I wear femme clothing I hate it and then other times I don’t. I always love wearing masculine clothing but I don’t always like to feel masculine. Sometimes it literally grosses me out when I wear dresses and things and other days I love it. When I’m in the gym I wish I looked like other males I see but I don’t feel like that all the time. Sometimes I wish I was flat chested and other days I love my breasts the way they are. I am just uncomfortable and lost.
I think I'm a broke man trapped inside a multi millionaire's body.
My dna test came and said I am 100% COCONUT
Why are we here 🗿
a lot of the times, hearing the pronoun “they” for me just bothers me and i don’t know why, but ive had dysphoria and lots of gender envy when i see a skinny muscular woman, or tatted guys with mustaches someone help please 😂😭😭
i’m a young person and i feel as if my gender fluctuates in a way? i never feel like binary like 100% woman or man, it’s just sometimes i want to present more feminine than masculine & the other way around. sometimes i wonder if i’m just tricking myself because when i see pretty people, wether it be man woman or neither, i wish i looked like them. i also don’t really experience gender dysphoria, just sometimes i feel sad that i look really ‘girly’ and my parents always refer to me as one.
Are you on antidepressants
Ima need some of the LGBTQ detectives to come and help all the people in the comments like where are you guys, I know you’re out there 😅
I'm 41 and just came out as enby. Thank you for acknowledging the age thing.
Are you ok SSRIs?
WERID People!
Cool video, ama go listen to James Marriott and cry 😭
Honestly, I've been questioning for at least... I'd say 3 years at this point. Still not sure where I stand; I don't quite feel like a man or a woman, and the nb and agender labels don't really feel like they suit me, but I'm fine with any pronouns. At this point I might just need to start experiment more instead of mull over it and not do anything.
The way I feel, well, feels complicated.
@@nunyadambidniss what is bro waffling about 😭😭😭
Maybe try finding a hobby instead?
@@PlessieNessielay off your SSRIs