Disagree with a lot of points in this video. There is no complete bad advice in this context. It's about the situation. Sometimes, some advice works for you in certain situations, other times it doesn't. It also depends on the individual as well. It may seem like bad advice from one perception but it can be a good advice through another perspective. Again, these advices are not absolute bad. But bad in a contextual way. Reason why I've to say this because some of such advices have worked for me. But again, it's situational, it may work, it may not work. That's what I'm saying.
@@vampirethespiderbatgod9740 agree with you. love the law of equal and opposite advice: at different times for the same person even the opposite advice works, and especially for other people that's very often the case. Just wanted to show my current perspective on these, but do appreciate it's a bit of a controversial one, and definitely not for everyone
@@tristan_840 to be serious, the first part is just a joke, the second is me saying that I did actually deprive myself of sleep because I thought that I needed to fix my problems I got myself into it, and no one else should get dragged into it, so I don't have the right to sleep until I finish this goddamn assignment 'n so on
The rule of thumb I heard about instinct was "Instincts are generally helpful in areas you're very familiar with, and generally unhelpful in unfamiliar territory". Instincts are largely your subconscious drawing conclusions from past data. And the quality of those conclusions is going to depend highly on how applicable that past data is.
Great insight! This explains my mixed feelings about the idea as well as my confunsion when people just say "follow what your heart tells you" and I'm like I think my heart is dead
@@bg9938 I think people actually don't know what they're saying when they say "follow your heart". Because even when I have strong desires, I feel it more in my stomach than my heart. There is something true to it. Listen to your body and to how you maybe want to do something, but your body is refusing, the way your shoulders feel, the way your feet go...it's not wrong to realise your body is having a reaction you're consciously ignoring, and to consider why that is. I told that to my sister recently about her confusion over things...it is perfectly fine to investigate why things are the way they are...but this blind "following your heart" just confuses people and makes them feel stupid for not getting naything fron that blood pumping mechanism within them.
Thank you for this. It makes it easier to not be hard on yourself when you look at mistakes in retrospect wondering why you didn't certain things coming.
I will say definitely dont always trust your instinct, but also dont completely let others make the decision for u .Gather all the relevant data, hear others perspectives but the final decision has to be yours. You must not allow others to make decision for you because you know so much about you that the other person dont.
I love it when wealthy people with none of the typical barriers (money, access to knowledgeable people etc) give this type of advice. It turns out having a "small" loan of a few million or a parent who already knowns the industry makes success a hell of a lot easier. All most all these "self made" people had tremendous help that the avg person simply doesn't have. It's no different to telling a homeless person to buy a home.
These people like steve jobs, eleon musk werent born wealthy. They did extraordinary things to get there. Having said that i dont promote toxic hustle culture either
@@roselynnwood4657 I'm not at all trying to diminish what they have achieved. Only pointing out that they provide advice from a perspective far removed from the average person.
@@roselynnwood4657 Steve Jobs had issues with Money. Elon Musk's father was reach, he owned half of an emerald mine in Zambia. Bill gates parents were wealthy, so was Mark Zuckerberg's. They had enough money to send their precious children to expensive private schools. They were pretty much curved for So called Success from a pretty early age. Extraordinary things? What may they be? Did THEY do those things? or Was it mostly those nameless engineers/scientists who worked under them? Are those Engineers/Scientists giving us life advice? No, the one who was at the top of the food chain, who became billionaires, are giving us life advices. Most of them are White, so are they really that great role models for average black people, or other people of color? Are they even great role models for middle class white people? Yeah, Yeah, they will give some credits to those nameless people working under them, but what about giving them more money for a change? Not just that, How about giving them proper wage, working hours, right to form unions? On Amazon, workers have to pee in bottles cause they can't even spare time to go to the bathroom. There are so many people complaining about crazy stressful work environment in Tesla, but well, these great Businessmen, oh no, rather the Heroes of The Earth have some great cult, both in the mainstream media and the internet, and anytime you criticize them for their business ethics, the famous phrase come out, "Well, what have you done to save the earth and whatnot, at least he is doing something, even if they are getting crazy rich with it and basically skewing economy in such a way that it's hampering middle class people's life all together. But what about it, it's all okay, he is a genius, he is gonna send us to mars, he is a visionary, he is..................." All these talk about passion, passion, passion, if anyone actually were honest and really looked at how modern marketing works, would easily figure out that it's all marketing strategy, cause they aren't just happy being crazy, crazy, crazy rich, they also wanna be some form of modern Techno-Deity to the general people. Anyway, good for them. Yes, we can be billionaires too, we just gotta work hard. OH yes, the next billionaire in the making, 334,718,197 of them. YES.
@@roselynnwood4657 bezos parents gave him 300 k for amazon when he was younger. According to inflation, the money they gave him would be the equivalent of 3 millions dollars today. How many people do you know who's parents have 3 million dollars lying around to give them.
I really like how she mentioned that realizing how sometimes there are factors in fate beyond our control helps to humble us. I feel that this mindset doesn't make one play victim or become arrogant when successful.
I mean I do agree but sometimes you can position yourself at the right spot or increase your chances of success. Many people just work hard for the sake of working hard
“Chance favors the prepared.” That's very much my perspective when it comes to luck, advantages and hard work. Also, work smart. I believe that's a more realistic advice.
There's some truth to this for sure, but everyone I know who says this is either average or maybe slightly above average in terms of the typical metrics of success. Most of the wealthy people I know acknowledged that a lot of it had to do with being at the right place at the right time.
@@testtest-lc4xz I'd argue that it's those right place, right time moments that you're preparing for. Though it is almost impossible to force such a circumstance, someone who is prepared to make the best of a great situation will benefit much more than someone who tripped ass backwards into it. For example, say you won one of just three tickets to a fancy event that a lot of important people are attending. If you took the time to clean up and dress in your nicest clothes, looking to network and socialize with high society into the wee hours of the evening, you may very well walk out of there with some powerful contacts that could greatly change the course of your life. You will be much better off than the other two winners, one of which is a teenage girl who's been obsessively pestering one specific actor in attendance, and the other a guy who's gaze has been consistently South of all the women's eyes. The most those two will take away from the event is bragging rights.
More like you got to know your options/opportunities and to choose from there. Being realistic, preparing and being smart for yourself in hopes that your future is bright. Sadly not many people are aware of their options. Plenty make bad decisions and are often short sighted
@@ericvalverderosado2046 Why look to dissect and destroy arguments? Let's take the advice if we like, if it works fine, if it doesnt, try something else. We dont need scientific publishing to assert something that could be verified by trial and experience
My dad is very successful in his career, he basically hit the jackpot at a very early age and what he said about it was that is that he got lucky. He said though, that you need to work hard to make the area where luck can strike you a bit bigger.
Well, you said that he worked hard to confront the "LUCK" ! luck is only when preparation meets opportunity, but if you are not prepared (have not raised to the approproate level), then you won't ! the answer is in the statement itself !
Same with my mom. When she and dad got together all luck started going to them. It was crazy. But then again they've always been the type of people who prepare considering both were not rich and grew up poor
Agree. 4 years at uni taught me that hard work alone was not enough. And it is funny how when you dont make any progress ppl will automatically say u havent worked hard enough when obviously, u are stressed out af. And remember that wether you have worked hard enough or not, god knows, you know and they dont know
It taught me that talent is not enough. Luckily I was the one that had a teacher as a parent, while I never had to work _hard_, I still had to put some effort in (except maths, but hey, I agree I am 20% unfair advantages) so i got through it. Friend that had never had to work for it in school, could not transition as well from being a big fish in a small pond and dropped out. The irony of it all? He has had much more consistent success than I had the last 25 years.
Many can succeed if they didn't consider university or college as their only option to success. Sure the chances are high if you go to college but it all comes down to what you really want and how you will achieve that in a way that works for you. Like what's your plan a to plan d.
I am opposite of "thick skin". My therapist even puts it as - "you were born without skin". I have vegetative dystonia since age 6 which makes my body absolutely fall apart whenever i'm stressed and had eventually lead to me being disabled. I am extremely annoyed at this type of advice - be strong, work hard, you'll get what you deserve - because i _can't_ do that, and it's not my fault! I have to learn to live with my condition(s) and i'm still learning to accept myself thanks to people telling everyone to grind equally. I don't care if people think i'm lazy or that i somehow deserve worse conditions over something i have no control over - i know what i need and what's bad for me, i want to make my own hours and try to make my own life at least a little easier.
The exception does not make the rule. The average person who does not have their body fucking self destruct for putting in work should work hard to increase the odds of achieving what they want
@@slayeroffurries1115 Yes, an average person's body won't stop working properly after experiencing stress, but the *brain* has a much higher chance of damaging itself after it, and if your mental health get worse, your body will suffer as a result
@@ayrtonjoga Being overworked is always very stressful. But if any hard work stresses you out (enough to cause health issues) then either your life is poorly optimized (which you can fix) or you have a mental illness (also fixable unless you're unlucky). So most people should aim for hard work (but not overworking themselves).
Several books really helped me get over the belief that I have "too many interests" and need to decide on one to follow as my "passion": • Refuse To Choose! (Barbara Sher) • Range (David Epstein) • The Episodic Career (Farai Chideya) • I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was (Barbara Sher)
I have so much passions that I couldn't even count them too. But they're still passions and you still should follow them am I wrong?) And to do ti - you should listen to yourself, surprisingly enough! :) It's not about being always right - it's about trusting your inner compass. And those advises, in right hands and outside of toxic "hustle" culture are REALLY great!
"chasing your dream does not look like fun".. yeah girl... tell it as it is. I am not chasing my dreams, i am committed to my dreams. Yes, its hard and annoying at times, but its mine and i love it in every moment of the process.
"U need to have very soft skin and quite strong core, aka strong core beliefs and values." - Elizabeth. kids in this decade will quote this lady for EVER, at least i will. 🤓😍
@@SingingblissofRajat ikr and all these people quite literally taking the billionaires advice when forcefully asked by an interviewer like how dumb of a person you can be to actually think just working hard is enough to get rich lol
Said thick skin in a feminine way…that’s good but at the same point contradiction to her point ahahaha…thick skin does not exist with thick core…she put Jordan Peterson with that part…come ooon, he's a psychologist that worked in a field dominated by women…
@@ericvalverderosado2046 Nah core and think skin are different. Think skin is a tough outer layer core is from within. Think skin you ignore insult let it roll off. Strong core is knowing yourself your value so you take in whats said or done but you know whats true and value your values so others opinions are just theirs and holds no meaning to you.
When the online community is too filled with self declared intellectuals and "smart" people, getting across genuinely smart people with original perspective like yourself is like a fresh breeze :) Liked and subscribed!
Well, that doesn't make her advice invalid. She has built a successful makeup business, so that shows that being born into money didn't make her complacent.
@@Musicienne-DAB1995 Common dude. She made a porn tape and most white suburban females wanted to look like her after all the cosmetic surgeries. Her youngest sister is also a genius too?? Majority of humans are shallow and followers, they'll go for anything popular. It's the reason the Kardashians are so successful not because they worked so hard. Hope no young girls with good parents ever take anything these jezebels say seriously.
@@TheWanDoctor Oh, I am sure that a lot of it was her employees and associated corporations. But that is how many major enterprises work. It takes savvy. She does a lot on the marketing and branding side.
As an immigrant physician to the USA who had to start over by flipping burgers and now working as a medical assistant - I thank you for addressing our struggle. ❤️
I remember reading a short story as a kid that changed my perspective about finding and working hard on only ONE passion. It was about a kid who wanted like, 7 different jobs when he grew older, and the best part about this story is that not one adult shut him down or invalidated his stance. It gave me soo much hope because I was just like him: I liked to do so many things and didn't want to focus on a specific one for the rest of my life. Your last advice reminded me of this story and why I loved it so much. Thank you!!!
So what are you doing now? Are you still able to engage in all the things you are interested in? I am 44 and re-considering going back to school for landscape architecture which would cost a lot of money, take me out of the workforce, and in the end after 3-4 years of school I would be earning 25-50% less than I do now. Makes it hard to pursue.
@@velojames15 hi, I’m just a 16 year old kids so I’m just going to take my experience! Idk your situation seriously. But my mom was very toxic growing up. Idk if u have kids, but.. she got out of her hard overworking job and started learning something new. (She is now working in what she loves. Helping people that struggle with mental health with art) now, being honest with u, it’s hard growing up with not a lot of money.( we never really had any but her new job didn’t help) But I’m happier that she is more happy , so I say if u have kids not only u can get your dreams, everyone else in the house will be happier around you. But again, Idk what am I doing in life so
i think issue about luck and hard work is that when we face failure we blame ourselves for not putting in enough effort, but when we see our friends or any other people failing, we would tell them its just bad luck.
I think it's basically that we judged ourselves harsher than we judged other people. To other people, we will tell them that because we don't know how hard they work and want to lighten up their condition. Luck can be formed in certain situations, are you born in a certain family, are you at the right time, or are you at the right place. And yes there are tons of stories, from historical people, that luck is a great factor in success. For a rough example: insulin experiment in 1922.
Yep. But it's also not only about what we say to ourselves. I mean, where do we get this pattern of blaming ourselves for not working hard enough if things didn't work out? It's because there are plenty of other people who said that crap to us, so if we internalised that as some truth (because we heard it so often in childhood from adults) we end up telling such unhealthy things to ourselves. While those people are either misinformed themselves or actually just assholes. I had some bad lecturers in the university who couldn't teach anything, but they loved to blame any issues students had because of that on "students just being lazy and not putting in enough work". Yeah, of course. So convenient for them, so horrible for students. And anyone who was lucky not to encounter such toxic teachers, lecturers, parents etc often wouldn't even understand the struggles of those who did, so they most likely would jump on that bandwagon of blaming. While the real issue stays unaddressed and ignored by society. And it's money issue too, because wealthier people tend to have better educators and education resources which leads to better work opportunities, while poorer people usually have to "suck it up", ignore issues due to not enough resources to change or escape the shitty situation and shitty employment afterwards on top of that. Vicious cycle, also technically part of society benefits from "keeping others in the dark", so not everyone would even want to change it.
LOVE what you said about having thick skin! "Have soft skin but a strong core." So good. It's ok to have those feelings and a strong internal world.....but also have strong personal boundaries for how people speak to and treat you. Thank you for sharing!
"Have soft skin but a strong core" sounds like beauty and fitness advice. xD I think it's an important distinction worth making, I just thought that was funny. :)
The tree analogy is nice as well there. A sapling has a soft core and a soft skin, but already quite small the bark/skin is as tough as it ever will be. It is the strong core that allows the tree to grow high, and the soft skin that allows the tree to live and grow.
At my last two jobs my slogan was "don't treat me like I own the place" -- but seriously, self-care and balance then caring for others are way more important than the goal "work until you collapse".
I had it hard as a teenager... It wasn't until I was an adult that I was diagnosed with ADD and anxiety... But what started helping me a bit at the time, was kind of a negative view "Expect the worst and it can only get better"... This, of course, made me pessimistic and alone... So the best advice I have heard and can give is: "Enjoy the little things - nobody knows what tomorrow brings" and "Never go to bed angry"
I think the great advice here is: don't take others mindset, efforts and results as a solid truth for your own life. And if I could put some words to improve this, it would be: Write down your goals based on your own principles and what you really value. Be prepared to rearrange your goals according to the moment you are living. Almost certainly others rulers will not fit to you.
this is my issue. i’ve noticed over the last four years that i use others as a guideline cuz idk what i wanna do in life, but coupled with depression, it spiraled into “i must be an everyman with whom everyone loves and agrees” and i’m finally on a path of figuring out what i truly want. it is really tough, but i know spending more time with myself (without my phone) will help.
But shouldn't one have a guide? I'm 17, my guy, I truly believe that I don't know anything about life. What you're saying, to me, sounds like saying that I should have an opinion on how to bake the perfect cake, while I don't know to cook at all. Don't you need a core, you know, a basis, to find what you want to do? I don't know, man, I'm just a dude who's trying to figure out how things work and what on earth I'm going to do with my life, man. High school ends for me this year, in less than a year, actually. I really don't know what piece of advice to follow! The fucking internet, man. Everyone has an opinion on this extremely important matter and everyone's opinion is different, but, to me, sounds equally valid. My parents, always told me to go for the safest option, but I don't want to work on a job just because it's a safe choice. I don't wanna be miserable! I'm generally a pretty optimistic person, but when it comes to this subject, I lose my fucking shit. Why does everything have to be so complicated?
@@odysseasandroutsos1821 Sorry for getting late, but you need to take what is worth for you. Your parents tell you to go for the safe option, but taking the safe option is necessary for a while and it doesn't mean you'll be in the safe spot for the rest of your life, but it'll give you peace so you could focus on the next step. Most of these successful people are geniuses and it's difficult to replicate their success because they were lucky to be born in a rich family and with a great mind that was stimulated at an early age, but what we have to do is to be less hard on us and look for our own advantages and use them without having to hear how others get to be successful because this is something really different for everyone and if you start listening to everyone you'll waste your time.
@@felixpaniagua6018 yep, that's the conclusion I've came to as well. I'll just follow the path I want to follow and see where that leads. Thank you, my friend! Have a nice day!
What I like the most about you Elizabeth, is how self-aware and uninfluenced by the authority figures you are. You clearly trust your own mind the most. Good for you!
this video made me realize that I've been expected to achieve the same things as other people who have had better circumstances and it's just not fair because it made me press hard on myself, thinking that my laziness is to be blamed for every bad thing that happens to me.
but aren't multiple and changing passions - still passions and it's better to follow them than do things that you don't like just because "I'm a serious grown-up and I must not have fun". Or what?
@@akiram6609 I always saw luck as two fold. For example, sometimes something you didn't plan or prepare for happens and it may benefit you. In addition, you vould be working on a skill just for fun and then you find yourself in random situation where that skill is needed and you capitlize on the situation. This latter example really does depend heavily on you since if you didn't have that prepartion then the opportunity would have left.
@JX You’re either in denial or you are a child. Luck is another name for factors that aren’t within your control. Life is full of things you can’t control. Hard work will get you some of the things you want but not all of them.
I get your point that a lot of people's results in life have more to do with certain advantages or disadvantages that they had. But I do believe that effort to a certain extent increases your luck. If you want avocados the more avocado seeds that you plant the higher the probability that you will end up with avocados in the end... Another point is that working on your inner environment can many times lead to higher returns than working on the outer environment which we have less control over.
That's what i was about to say, you explained it admirably, the idea of the video is true and those advides may be really misleading in a certain way especially without a correct context that gives the nuances of the unfairness of the world, in my opinion yeah luck in the avantages that we have and opportunites is present and makes huge difference but work builds you you are more consistent in your performance more internaly solid the external factors will less or not affect you so you have indirectly more opportunites cause you will get noticed and get a reputation more easily, you create more opportunites cause you try more like you said and you seek them relentlessly until you make a difference, i prefer this mentality : you do your best with what you have and learn from failures without comparing yourself with others to achieve your potentiel cause luck beside winning the lottery by getting noticed or something like that is the potentiel you have when you were born big or small don't waste it and strive for a better life and to achieve that potentiel and sometimes it seems small at the beginning but you unlock crazy things later, don't genuinely blame yourself or the others understand the situation what you can improve and keep going.
Using your analogy, I could also say that how much money you already had from the start would affect how many avocado seeds you could reasonably afford. Again, it goes back to the argument that people who are born with more resources have a higher chance of making it. That being said, I agree that focusing on what we can control is better than crying over the things we can't. A person who takes care of the three avocado seeds they have can still succeed instead of the lazy, careless person with a hundred seeds. That's why it's worth putting in effort despite luck and random chance. All this talk about avocadoes has made me hungry.
If you plant 1000 avocado seeds in the wrong conditions you won’t get avocados. If you plant one seed in the right condition you will get avocados. It’s not about the amount of seeds, it’s about the right soil, temperature, amount of sunlight, amount of water etc.
I also believe that working on smth you want is definitely better, but I believe that the person on the video was saying to do it to our own limits, not exceed them like majority of these hustlers say we should do. I am putting in the effort I need for good grades in university and in my internships due to the fact that I want to have a good job and payment in the future, I know the work I put now is going to pay off in the end, compared to me not doing anything at all. But I know that my mental health is also extremely important and I shouldn't bother myself with what I cannot do at the moment, I can always ask for help. Also the passion thing really struck to me. I have a ton of hobbies, most of them artistic ones, and everyone always says "you should try making money out of it" but I don't want to. The field I chose to study rn was solemnly chosen due to the fact that I know my abilities and that I know I'm capable of doing it and getting a good paying job from it, so my future would pretty much be secured. If I followed what I was truly passionate about, I'd be worried sickly about whether or not I'd manage to bring enough money on the table to survive another month, because I SUCK with dealing with customers and handling deadlines of my own. It's definitely best to choose something you know you can do and don't hate, than smth you're truly passionate about which you'll end up hating. Sometimes, being passionate about having an average life with enough money to survive monthly is a good enough reason to choose a job you don't love, but simply are good at
Your honesty earned yourself a follower. Finally found someone whose thoughts resonates with mine. Productivity and working hard aren’t always the answers to success. Finally someone has the audacity to point it out.
I love that you also take into account mothers with children when you explain a concept. I feel like that factor gets often overlooked in the so called 'hustle culture' and by time management experts in general. I often hear the words like 'you can manifest anything' bla bla but when I think of it, in my opinion there are so many other things that could potentially happen where you have no control over, especially as a woman (because there is a huge part of society that still expect women to do the main part of childcare so you have no time developing your career), when it comes to relationships (are you going to find the perfect match, is the person going to stay faithful ect.) so that this whole manifestation thing is only true to a certain degree. There is so much luck involved as you said.
I'm 18 years old, so I don't have much life experience; nevertheless, everything you said makes so much sense to me. These self-help gurus aren't giving life advice based on reality. Your advice is rooted in reality and actual experiences. It’s practical advice for anyone. Thanks for the video!
One successful businessman when asked how one can become successful candidly stated that there is no true blue print, but that its more to do with being, "at the right place, at the right time".
Me at 28 with ADHD, four mental illnesses, lifelong poverty and severe imposter syndrome, feeling like shit because of this "advice" from privileged billionaires because I'm nowhere near where I need to be as an artist. Thank you for helping to point out their bs ❤
I also have ADHD and the comorbid mental health issues often attached to it. Because of the ADHD we already have to work wayyyy harder than others usually for a fraction of the results. Work harder is the most useless bit of advice for us!
@@hopecreekranch365 Like yo I can barely muster the strength to brush my teeth. How is "working harder" with zero mental and physical energy going to help me?
I think the strong inner world is what most people THINK a thick skin is. There is a difference though, and you nailed it. I'm with you, the advice to follow your passion effed me up! I'm passionate about EVERYTHING. I have SO MANY interests! I cannot follow them all! It took me years to settle into a healthy pattern with a job I enjoy and doing whatever habits I feel like at the time.
So true that everybody should work on something to have fun, and the result they can get is based on luck. Don't work for the result, work for fun! Thanks for the video!
Agreed, but this fits well with "passion" and "following yourself" advidses. I really don't understand - how is it - follow your passion is a bad advise because you should better follow your passionS? Wtf honestly lol?))
If you don't study a lot of math (do a 4 year major in math and 4-6 years postgraduate study and then maybe years more studying as an independent researcher), you won't solve an unsolved problem in math no matter how lucky you are. If you don't study a prerequisite amount of time, luck won't save you.
@@metinersinarcan92 you can continue studying math, when you enjoy it. If you don't like it, you will stop learning if you can't resolve an unresolved problem. Whether you can solve such problems is a luck (aka probability), but when you stop trying your luck is zero. If you don't enjoy the challenge, maybe you can choose another one 😉
I wish younger me had this video. Especially the bit about being passionate and finding your “one true calling” would have saved me a lot of pain and tears. Even being older and having gone through and come out with the opinion on my own, it is so nice and affirming to hear someone else say it.
Hard work was rewarded well half a century ago. An uneducated full-time working husband per household was financially enough to provide for a decent sized family living in a large house with a car. This is not the case anymore. About thick skin I also agree with your points, but I would personally add that being feared also helps. It can prevent situations (conflicts) in which you need to rely only on resilience. 13:30 that's exactly me. I'm uncertain if it's because of my ADHD because my interests change rapidly. It feels like the system doesn't like multipassionates (generalists) as much as it likes specialists.
Your first paragraph is not very factual from an economics standpoint. Houses today are much bigger than houses and feature far more amenities than back then. Plus, home ownership rates - at least in the United States - are actually higher today than in the 1970s/1960s.
@Taevas I agree, even she said it herself in the video. 5% is hardwork, 20% is your situation and 75% is luck (or something like that) Out of those 3, which I do believe all play a large role in your success, hardwork is the one thing you can control. So when people say you should work hard to succeed, that should encourage you to make the most of that 5% instead of pushing it aside and not acknowledging it...
They were not rewarded by their hard work, they were rewarded because Americans exploited the rest of the world that just went through a devastating World War. America continue to create conflict all around the world to keep up their hegemony of the world. Maybe if Russia and Europe start fighting again you all can regain back the golden era of exploiting world wars for your own advantage.
I agree with almost everything she says BUT in the section "trust your instinct"... I think she misunderstood this...instincts are not the same as decisions. Instinct is something you feel very strongly about when encountering something, it's not the decision about everyday things but rather about certain "special" things when you get that feeling that you really should or shouldn't do but you can't really tell why you are feeling so strongly about that thing. Later it showed that I dodged a really big bullet when I trusted my instincts...maybe not everyone feels that but it almost never disappointed me, it always showed for a greater good. I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense.
This is kinda tiring, I consumed a lot of self-help book/content that tells me things to do, then I read other books/content that tell me that the former miss the point. Damn sometimes I just wish I could just go back to how I was, knowing nothing about all this, just doing my thing
The "have a strong core rather than thick skin" seems like a phrasing issue to me. In a way, they both mean the same thing. Having thick skin is being strong enough not to let outside circumstances shake your.. well, core, actually. Art least that's how I always understood the concept. But I like your alternative advice as well! Also, definitely agree with "it's 80%" luck. Work hard, because if you want to achieve any kind of success in life (or maintain it) you need to put in the work. Whether it'll actually get you the results you want is largely up to chance, but if you don't work you basically have to stumble upon a winning lottery ticket somewhere on the pavement.
As a person in their early 20s, I needed this. I feel so lucky to have found your channel. You're one of the 5 people I follow on TH-cam and I've got Ali to thank for that lol. I hope you keep doing these videos. These are really necessary and novel. Thank you for your work. Wish you all the happiness ❤️ P.s - Taking that editing game to a new level Elizabeth ✨👌😌.
The need to find ur passion part kind of goes hand in hand with the ideas of being a prodigy which is also something I ABSOLUTELY HATE. Being subjected to such bad advices and the pressure i felt for not being a prodigy when the kids around me were did a number on me.
It killed me. Everyone around me was/is a prodigy and I constantly feel like I'm a failure and that I'm never going to go anywhere because I wasnt a master at 12. Still hurts to this day
I just found your channel yesterday and been watching your videos since then, It’s like you’re just putting in words every little thought I have ever had omg
I agree with you that luck plays a significant role in a person's success. But luck is a factor beyond our control. When successful people give advice such as working hard and work smart, they are talking about doing things that are within our control. In this respect, they are correct.
"Luck" is just called like that cause there is simply no explanation of how all your actions went clashing in in a positive way to you, but every step has its effect, I dont think luck is just randomness. If everyone could have a mathematic formula to calculate it, we could see it, but cause we dont see it, doesnt mean its not there.
I came up with one as a child: "nothing is a waste." I am much older now and it has fully integrated into who I am. Essentially, I was thrown into a very rough environment in which so much was stacked against me. However, I decided to tell myself to always find something I can learn from an experience, especially a bad one. It helped me survive and develop a pragmatic but optimistic outlook.
Jazakallah for bringing the topic of "work=you'll get what you deserve" cus it's been a huge help for strengthening my belief in taqdir, and my Iman,the fact that life isn't always meant for following our passion cus MOST PEOPLE don't even have the luxury of having a passion itself.
Thank you for another great video! Regarding the Formula for Success topic, you said you think it breaks down to 5% hard work, 15% unfair advantages, and 80% luck. I understand, that these are fairly arbitrary percentages, but I'd be curious to hear anyone's thoughts on my interpretation of the Formula. The Formula described here is basically the equation: Success = X*UnfairAdvantages + Y*HardWork + Z*Luck where X, Y, Z are the percentages you mentioned. However, in my view, these percentages vary widely on your environment, especially, when it comes to unfair advantages/disadvantages. Essentially, there are different levels of inequality depending on the environment. When it comes to hard work vs. luck, maybe I'm being optimistic, but while I agree that 80% of success is luck, hard work can chip away at that percentage. Basically, the harder you work, the less luck you need, though I would say the minimum percentage of luck would be around 50% (still high). Additionally, the percentage reduced from luck with hard work follows the law of diminishing returns. Thanks for reading through my thoughts. If I missed/misunderstood something I'd be grateful if you let me know. Have a great day everyone!
I would add a component with the ability to work as a team with others. Working with someone can exponentially increase results potentially, and a teammate can talk you out of quitting when you are discouraged.
Your reframe of hard work and thick skin really helped me. negative comments get to me, but i should ask myself why i believe these things deep down. And i love you working hard for joy and not for success. It really opens up how success actually happens. Success doesnt even happen from joy. It's so random. But you can work hard and enjoy it, with no attachment to the random nature of outcomes. :']
It's amazingly buddhist. You could be successful one moment and a wreck the next. Luck is random. But having a strong core and enjoying stuff you put effort into is eternal
"Luck is just possibility of all positive and negative forces." There are things you can control and also things that you cant. Just make sure you do what you can and for the rest. Wish you the very best.
Thanks for sharing the more unpopular aspects of the hustle grind culture that surrounds us. It’s surprising that you see 80% just luck but you have your points there 😅 political and sistemic unfairnesses expressed in inequality of opportunity is something I’m passionate. Thanks for the new video. 👏
Also, I have seen people with the most advantages sitting on their hands, whining and discouraged, while people with the least opportunities work consistently and surpass them.
@@mindiwilhelm4322 agree In my opinion even tho sometimes we don't have luck in life hard work is not really the case sometimes it's just all about working SMART ,this is something that I don't often see people talk about but it's truly a game changing
@@Alaa-d6z Working smart, that's the way. Working smart includes positioning yourself to "get lucky" and maximize the probability of realizing your goals, working a considerable amount of time to hone your skills, expand your knowledge so that you can have more wise decisions in your work and life.
Oppression definitely is much higher than 15%. The girl in the video is a pretty privileged person herself if she thinks only 15% depends on your background. But yet again, that was her experience and shows off the differences each individual has
@@mindiwilhelm4322 This is the multiplicative effect. The formula for success is: work*advantages*luck. Work is between 0 and 1, advantages between 1 and 100, luck between 0 and 2000. An advantage of 1 is just being alive. Sucess is when work > 0.5, and luck>advantages.
Thank you so much for this. My whole mentality has been HUSTLE HUSTLE HUSTLE, and I always thought that my worth was measured on my productivity, success and money. The hustle culture has been so distructive to me as a person because I am neurodivergent and struggle with my ADHD a lot. I always see my friends work hard and live their hustle life but I could never get into that mind set, I always thought "what's wrong with me?" and whenever I did rest I would feel guilty and think "the reason I'm not so successful is becuase I'm not doing the work" when in truth I need a lot of recovery time, I went through a lot in my childhood and have never ever had the privilage of working through it because I've been in surival mode since I was born, but now that I'm in a place of comfort and peace i realise that, I'm bloody exhausted. Rest and recharge time is so important and is part of the path to success.
girl, I've been telling these exact things to everyone I know for the... well.. the past 10 years probably (me, the psych major) and I am so happy someone else actually made a structured video of it and put it out there!! our traits and condition and those of the others we interact with are at play every single moment and that's how life happens :)) that's how you get or don't get the job (even if you're on equal footing with everyone else from a skill perspective) I've felt this first hand when, at a job some years ago, my team leader hired somebody who clearly did not want to work (I attended the interview; he was skilled and had the intelligence to handle the job) only because they both had read the same book that week... in the end I ended up mentoring this person and provided constant feedback on his lack of motivation to actually do the job; after much toil the person left on their own when their own business took off and did not need the paycheck we were giving him... and it all started with a damn book.
That is quite interesting to know not gonna lie. Makes me glad to hear human beings are human beings regardless of the position they have at work. Sometimes I feel inferior to some higher position people at my job but hearing this I realize that at the end of the day, what we truly all crave is connection and understanding
Thank you Elizabeth, I'm watching this the 2nd time, better unpopular advice summarized - 1. work because you have to and it can be fun, results are random 2. have soft skin( stay vulnerable, inner world) and a strong core( your beliefs ) 3. question yourself, don't fool yourself 4. you can read in low light maybe 5. passions change and are multiple, frustration is part of the work
Great one Elizabeth! I agree with most things, but I just have a few reservations. Advice 1. Work hard and you'll get what you deserve. I'm glad you mentioned luck because it's something that goes overlooked too often if you asked me, then everyone gets mad when they don't get what they deserve. But I don't agree that luck accounts for as much as you give it credit for. A mentor of mine once told me that luck is hard work + opportunity. While I don't think that's the full picture either, I think hardwork actually does drive WAY more than you give it credit for. You gave the example of someone who got a job because someone else quit... Well, that's luck, but if a person who was sub-par was in that same situation, he wouldn't have got the job. Or he'd get it and then be fired because of poor performance. The person was good enough to get it and so they did. Without the work it took the person to be good enough to get it, that "luck" would've just been a "missed opportunity". Yes, there is chaos behind our outcomes, but I think there's a good measure of predictability. In middle school, I was a lame average student. In high school, I worked harder, and I literally became the best student in my department of studies. I just studied hard & smart and when people call me smart, I just laugh because I knew people in my class who i thought were smarter than me. But that brings me to something else I thought you were going to talk about which plays a big role as well, and that's SMART work. I think smart work has a decemt place in that pie chart. I also think that luck or unfair advantages affect ease of getting somewhere more than how much you can grow. We're dealt different hands in life... A person might be sick, or poor, and so on... We might be born on Level -2, while someone else might be born on Level 3. Obviously, it's going to be easier for the other person to reach Level 6 because you first have to climb up to Level 0, and I'm not even claiming that you'll even get to level 6 if you put in the work. You might. But you can at least end up at Level 2 or 3. All I'm saying is that hard-work can drive so much more than a 5% advancement from where you currently are. Don't get me wrong though, your thoughts were actually really insightful, and I'm glad you're mentioning luck. Advice 2. You need thick skin. It's amazing that you're addressing the issue of wanting to be so tough that you never address anything that happens... Which is actually very damaging to the psyche... But what I understand to be thick skin is what you mean when you say soft skin and a strong core. To me, developing thick skin means having adversity or negativity befall you and not being crushed or destroyed by it. It means saying "Yep, shit happens", without it affecting your sense of worth. It doesn't necessarily prescribe what to do with that negative stimuli or adversity. It's just has to do with the reaction to being hit with it. And I think, and I believe you'd agree that it's pretty useful to not be toppled over by life's harshness. In that case, I do think it's necessary to, as you've done, say that it's necessary to engage with that adversity and grow from it, however that might be. Advice 3. Trust yourself. Oh yeah, I completely agree to this. Kind of like you, I was thinking of quitting on studying Law. But I'm still here. Woo! Advice 4. Don't read too much Man... I'm no doctor, I know nothing about this, but if it only stresses then good for me. Go Lizzy! Advice 5. Find your passion. You know... For the longest time I've been in limbo and indecision trying to figure out "my one true passion", when it feels like I have 6 of them. It sucks. So, I agree. And the thought chasing your dreams is all lovely work is an idea I've been trying to unteach myself. I've just now recently to decided to explore them, and right now, I'm focusing on my painting :). There's always going to be tough work, and I think it's important to remember because the line between "this is difficult", and "this is not just for me" can be very blurry. Thank you, Lizzy! This was such an exciting and insightful video. I don't usually bother to type things like this, but there were things I disagreed with and agreed with and you just seemed really welcoming and I couldn't help myself. Anyways. I love it! Can't wait to see more!
Advice 1: smart work, take initiative and some luck, not 85%. For an average income, luck is not even important. When you aim for the top then you need some luck, but even then not 85%.
just imagine a digital artist or a software engineer following this 5% hard work advice / sheet. They would never become even a mediocre at what they want to do. Image a digital artist working for an hour a day and then spending his day sitting on his butt and waiting for luck to happen XD. Like if you are going to spend 1 hour a day only on your craft then you work is going to look like shit. No amount of luck would help you if your digital art looks like a total shit. Look at the other hand now. If you spend 12 hours per day working and developing a skill, after a year you will have a billion opportunities as an artist, because your work would be very good and you would have no other competition. You would be able to say any price for your work and you will be able to relax more since you gained a great skill. Her statements in this video are insanely bad or dumb. I have no idea. Like she herself put tons of work and time into her videos to keep and grow an audience. Maybe she is trolling in this video I dont know.
You have literally expressed everything I was thinking throughtout the video. Finally one comment that doesn't just agree with every single thing she says! You are a legend
The "be passionate about what you're doing" idea ignores the fact that even if you find a job you truly love, there's always going to be _something_ about if that you dont like very much. For example if you're an engineer you may enjoy doing design work but hate working with clients or doing the documentation. Nobody likes EVERY single aspect of their job and that's ok. In life there will always be things we dont like that we have to do anyway and we cant build a satisfying like unless we accept that
Elizabeth, I especially like your remarks "Don't Read Too Much." I collect books and read a lot. I'll enjoy reading much more if I know there's no chance I'm damaging my vision by hours of reading. I hope you take up this theme again. I subscribed to your newsletter today.
Most people don't want to acknowledge the amount of luck that they had in their life because at some level they feel a devalues the work that they put in... And we place those that we perceive as successful on mantles thereby if we don't feel like we're successful then we're part of the less-thans...
Thank you for this, I have been running myself ragged for so many years trying to choose one thing as my true "passion" .... impossible!! More videos like this please!
I've always been told stick to one thing. But what if I have several? Thank God there's someone on TH-cam who understands me that I have a passion for many things athletics, hip hop, teaching, languages... Keep going, u r the best. May God bless u❤
I will say definitely dont always trust your instinct, but also dont completely let others make the decision for u. Gather all the relevant data, hear others perspectives but the final decision has to be yours. You must not allow others to make decision for you because you know so much about you that the other person dont.
Wow Elizabeth this might be my favourite video you've ever made, so validating, introspective and honest. Thank you for talking about how meritocracy is a lie!! I really loved this, truly hit close to home
This totally aligns with the whole movement thats become popularized to not put your everything into work constantly, and I love it. It does seem like ppl are on one side or the other of this spectrum
Huge and warm hugs to you Elizabeth for taking the time to publish such a crucial video for all of us, especially the younger generation. I really appreciate it and thank you for what you are doing through your content ❤😄
You’re absolutely right for me, it’s just that hard work pays off if I know it’s going to pay off(I don’t do random things is what I am saying) but luck is a factor as in you create your own luck. I have yearly goals and at the same time I am having fun. Hope anyone here no matter their situation can be their ultimate version of themselves and reach their dreams and aspirations.
I am really impressed! This is such good content. Original ideas, amazing editing, visually appealing. Must have been so much work behind the scenes! (Also, your hair looks gorgeous as always)
This is exactly how i think. All our accomplishments and failures are not ours. Being humble and forgiving to not only ourselves but to other people is the way to go in life!. Amazing video! And you’re gorgeous ❤️
Loved this! I always thought that quotes/advice from the internet aren't/ isn't always true, because the people who gave them/it, either lied or that particular advice just worked for them. Life is different for everybody and many times we learn just by living, especially since we're all different and trusting our intuition. Sending love! 💓
Yeah I do agree. No two people are the same. What advice work for somebody, may not for a different person depending on their situation. If somebody gives you an advice its coming from their experiences and what is their view of the world. They don't even know who would listen to the words they say on the internet. And ironically my the best advice is to just have faith in the universe, no strings attached to anybody, no obligations, just you and yourself, and one two good books won't hurt.
“would I be happy as an architect?” I asked myself that 10 years ago…turns out my first answer was wrong. but you know, from time to time I do have a good time as you said. :)
Working hard is 100% important. You are what you do, and don’t let anybody convince you otherwise. Once I started working hard and disciplining myself, my life completely changed. Any millionaire out there will tell you that it requires hard work to get rich. It all starts with discipline and focus. People don’t like to hear that because it makes them feel bad. “Oh no, I have to work?”. The brain is used to feeling comfort, and it will give you any and all excuses under the sun to keep you there. Trust me. Working hard is everything. Discipline, learning, focus.
This was such a nicely animated and explained vid , haha loved 😍 your emotions and especially when you said " people who have 3-4 kids waiting for them in a country whose language they cannot speak properly and then telling them to work hard is stupid..."
I just joined your channel in few weeks back. This advice is the best i ever heard . Its marvelous from a young lady like yourself to give a spot on advice and i am in my 40's and saw a lot of people in my life who did not figure this out like you god bless you . I have 5 passions in life two of them i am benefitting from ,one of them is my carees and job the other two i had them with me and when i grew up i developed them and found new passions . The rest of your advices are very true thank you 👍. Please continue with more videos
Regarding "finding your passion", Cal Newport, author of "So Good They Can't Ignore You," says in his his book that this is terrible advice. He said you just need to find something you are interested enough in to put in ongoing effort to continuously improve at it. There are lots of things that fit this description for each of us, which means lots of potential career paths. While we might have lots of ideas of things we like, at some point, you need to pick one and commit to it. Give it the majority of your time and focus to develop mastery. At some point, you can revisit the others, but you don't want to be 50 and still trying to figure out which idea to be devoted and committed to. Regarding the "work hard" life advice...I partially agree with you on this. I think having a strong work ethic will get you places in life that you wouldn't get without it. I think dismissing that hard work is an ingredient that leads to success risks a defeatist attitude and can cause people to not put in effort because they say, "Why bother...it doesn't matter anyway." So much in life happens with consistent, focused effort. Working 60, 80, 100 hour weeks isn't healthy for us or sustainable, long term, though. It might be necessary here or there...once or twice a year to meet a project's needs. There will be times in life that you go to heroic efforts and nobody will recognize your effort. There will be other times that you do some little thing that required little effort and you will get people clapping for you and get lots of visibility. This is part of that randomness you talked about. Also, be aware that others might recognize the good you are doing, but be unable to do anything about it. I manage a team and have a woman on my team that has visibly increased the level of her performance at work. I've submitted a request to promote her. I see she is doing a great job. My boss sees it, too. We want to recognize it. There is a "freeze on promotions" right now due to economic conditions. That won't last forever, but my hands are tied. I'm not allowed to tell her that I'm trying to get her promoted. At some point, this situation will change and I will promote her. Stuff like this may be at play in whether or not you are seeing the results from your efforts short term. I believe we all have advantages. Some of the poorest have advantages over the richest. I've seen it first hand. I tend not to spend much time thinking about others very much or the advantages and/or disadvantages of others. We are all different and trying to do the best with what we have. I'm not a very competitive person.
Kim: giving advice to people to work hard while what she does was just making money out of her body. What an inspiration. Crazy how many people take her as a valid person.
Ms Filips, you have an extremely refreshing perspective on life that is a breath of fresh air compared to all of the recycled success advice that exists out there. So happy that you're so confident in offering what works for you. Not to be too dramatic, but it makes me really think about the fact that I may not be "defective" for not successfully following common advice. Maybe the advice itself is somewhat flawed. Sadly, this DOES mean I will have to follow my own instincts, even though my instincts have gotten me into trouble before... :)
Thank you, Liz! I love this video! I especially love the section about working hard doesn’t cut it. You’re right: the obsession with hard work is ridiculous and it’s cutting our lives out. This is a huge reason why I think America is such a socially isolated country. It really saddens me. We all have this idea of “yeah, I’ll have fun with you when I make it”…or “I would hang out with you but I want to pick up an extra shift” as if all that hustling will actually bring us further along and free us up later. It normally doesn’t. People usually run on that hamster wheel and waste their lives away until it runs them. Eventually we are working not because we want to “get ahead for later” but because we have nothing else to do. Our friends are all out working; we can’t meet up easily, so might as well pick up another shift. Horrible cycle. I did some learning about the happiest countries in the world and overtime was so incredibly rare there. If you told them you wanted to stay at work past 5 on Friday to “get ahead,” they’d be like, “What?” The concept is stupid to me now that I’ve wasted such a long time trying to get ahead with nothing coming from it but my Lyme Disease getting worse. Which is good because it has forced me to rest and recover from the incredible burnout. It’s very upsetting to me that the mindset you talk about is so pervasive. You will never enjoy what you have even when you attain what you think you want unless you enjoy what you have now when you don’t have what you think you want.
I agree that it's not just hard work, but I think If make my pie chart would look something like (just pulling this out of my ass): 10% - hard work 25% - unfair advantages 20% - self care (sleep, exercise, diet, reading, therapy etc.) 15% - mindset (growth or fixed, optimist or pessimist, etc.) 30% - blind luck That said, I would put the "unfair advantages" under the blind luck category since we didn't decide to not be born as a crippled illiterate orphan in war-torn Syria. And I don't think the percentages are fixed. In most cases, if you continue to work on yourself, then the more you put yourself out there, work hard, learn, and network, the "luckier" you become. At least you increase your odds by playing the game more and playing it smarter.
This is definitely something more along the lines of what I was thinking, although I'd argue it's even less of a blind luck and unfair advantage percentage, maybe this could just be my mindset, but I truly think that skill outweighs luck, because someone lucky may not always get lucky, someone skillful can always use their skill.
I cannot thank you enough. I am at a point where I suddenly have to make career decisions by myself and kind of " find my passion" and I couldn't find any but have tons of things I am interested/ curious in. I feel greatly validated and relieved. Thank you for being real
jesus christ i thought for the longest time that there was something wrong with me bc i didn’t have a One Singular Passion. i don’t feel that way anymore, but learning to let go of the “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” bullshit and figuring out what i needed to leave exclusively as a hobby vs an interest i could monetise has been VASTLY more helpful than throwing all my hobbies at the proverbial wall to see what stuck 😅
omg you're soooooo right!! that part when you said how are you supposed to figure out waht you like all of a sudden.. i feel you so much there. I was also always told what to do and never given the opportunity to take responsability for myself and discover my interests... i fell like society puts so much pressure on high school sutdents to figure out how they wanna spend the rest of their lives at a moment in their life and evolution when litterally anything looks (and psychologically speaking is) far more important to them than choosing a career path .... it's madness. thank you so much for sharing your bold but true opinions!!!
I think it’s kind of hard to totally accurately represent it as a pie chart or percentage, because it’s almost more of an equation. Like if someone has the socioeconomic advantages, whatever work they do put in pays higher dividends. That’s what I always think when the very wealthy balk at being told “they didn’t work for it,” I think well I believe you worked hard, but having that work pay off is a function of privilege.
@@JC-yy8iv I completely agree, a pie chart is an oversimplification, and like many things is just a view of the mind. things are always more complicated than what graphical visualisation make them look like
I am so happy that I find sb have the similar mindset as I do. Everyone is different, most successful experience has little value as a reference. And yet, when you are telling this fact, people love to say you are having rescue for your failure/you are negative. Telling the FACT in a more SCIENTIFIC way has nothing do with negative emotions. Pointing a finger on sb without knowing their situation and say they are bad DO create negative effects and negative emotions. I hope that we could keep us humble and will not be affected by those unrealistic mindset.
"how am i going to learn to do what i like when I've never been allowed to do this before?" i think i laughed a little. as someone from an asian household, that hit too close to home
I am so glad someone finally talked about people like us . I was struggling so much in school to find my passion . I could do so many thing but I was not passionate enough to purse them as a career even now in college it's the same . No one assure us as students that it's okay to not find one particular passion . I am really grateful to you . Thankyou so much
15:16 , I never resonated with anyone this much 😂😂. Regardless just realising how my mind is just too rigid , I need to broaden my perspective a lot more. Great video as always . Much love 💜😍
Finding your passion to be happy, seems to make a lot of sense. I am in my 40s and am still exploring careers. Now I am in school for Early Childhood Education as I have loved doing children’s programs for the last ten years. I am doing my placement in a Childcare Center and I am imagining students dropping out. I feel comfortable there and not what I thought it would be. Lots of people supported me when I was doing the children’s programs. Now I am doing the rough work to figure out where I belong. Maybe there are just some parts of joy I get and not most of my day. Still, there are hobbies.
I find this very true, Elizabeth. Because I remember doing all of this, I gave my 101% dedication to my past examination, Worked so hard, yet the exam turned out to be really hard. How are you supposed to be passionate when you work like hell? I gave up my obsession with that exam, and I chose what I really loved to do in this exam, Science. Physics is a little bit tough, but I try my best, but not to overkill myself in the process. Our tutoring teachers have been very helpful too. By the way, I can see you're a real mature person and I'm glad to have such good advice similar to the ones my parents give me. 😘🥰💖💝
Interesting! I'm half in agreement, but some thoughts: 1. Re: Work hard/random luck: I don't think that "luck" is all that random. Sometimes it is, because opportunities can appear at random, and certainly some people are simply born in the wrong era for what they're interested in (particularly arts, at times), but working "hard", and most importantly *persistently* , opens you up to greater potential for both encountering those opportunities and also better equips you at being able to jump on those opportunities. This isn't to say you're incorrect, but I disagree that 80% of success simply amounts to randomness aside from willingness and ability to seize hold of opportunities. 2. "Thick skin" -- I don't think this means you're insensitive to what gets thrown at you and simply ignoring it (certainly not what Peterson means), I think it means a willingness to swallow the insults and offense life throws at you and to continue being *persistent* . In essence, it's resilience, not insensitivity. Strong "core" is a good way of thinking about it. 3. Passion -- Good points. Passions tend to make themselves known with life experience and trying things out. i think a better word than "happiness" is "fulfillment". Often the most fulfilling things aren't the most fun, but they are the most rewarding.
“Luck Is What Happens When Preparation Meets Opportunity" - Seneca I work hard so that I can be prepared when an opportunity comes my way. I also try to be where opportunity may be.
🧠 My link will get you 10% off on Hover: www.hover.com/elizabeth Good luck with what you're using it for! ❤
❤
Disagree with a lot of points in this video. There is no complete bad advice in this context. It's about the situation. Sometimes, some advice works for you in certain situations, other times it doesn't. It also depends on the individual as well.
It may seem like bad advice from one perception but it can be a good advice through another perspective. Again, these advices are not absolute bad. But bad in a contextual way.
Reason why I've to say this because some of such advices have worked for me. But again, it's situational, it may work, it may not work. That's what I'm saying.
@@vampirethespiderbatgod9740 agree with you. love the law of equal and opposite advice: at different times for the same person even the opposite advice works, and especially for other people that's very often the case. Just wanted to show my current perspective on these, but do appreciate it's a bit of a controversial one, and definitely not for everyone
Roman philosopher Seneca once said, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
Sorry Elizabeth, but I will have to disagree with you on this one . I am so so greatful for those advice that you say are bad.
My only life advice in life is „Get enough sleep. You deserve it.”
How do you know that I deserve it?! Only I decide if I deserve to sleep!
(lol, no I actually thought I didn't deserve it sometimes...)
@@G.F.SF55 lmao
@@G.F.SF55 what? Lol
@@tristan_840 to be serious, the first part is just a joke, the second is me saying that I did actually deprive myself of sleep because I thought that I needed to fix my problems I got myself into it, and no one else should get dragged into it, so I don't have the right to sleep until I finish this goddamn assignment 'n so on
this advice is so underrated. grt enough sleep if you can really changes a lot of things. even your "luck"
The rule of thumb I heard about instinct was "Instincts are generally helpful in areas you're very familiar with, and generally unhelpful in unfamiliar territory". Instincts are largely your subconscious drawing conclusions from past data. And the quality of those conclusions is going to depend highly on how applicable that past data is.
It's so helpful, thanks!
Great insight! This explains my mixed feelings about the idea as well as my confunsion when people just say "follow what your heart tells you" and I'm like I think my heart is dead
@@bg9938 I think people actually don't know what they're saying when they say "follow your heart".
Because even when I have strong desires, I feel it more in my stomach than my heart.
There is something true to it. Listen to your body and to how you maybe want to do something, but your body is refusing, the way your shoulders feel, the way your feet go...it's not wrong to realise your body is having a reaction you're consciously ignoring, and to consider why that is. I told that to my sister recently about her confusion over things...it is perfectly fine to investigate why things are the way they are...but this blind "following your heart" just confuses people and makes them feel stupid for not getting naything fron that blood pumping mechanism within them.
Thank you for this. It makes it easier to not be hard on yourself when you look at mistakes in retrospect wondering why you didn't certain things coming.
I will say definitely dont always trust your instinct, but also dont completely let others make the decision for u
.Gather all the relevant data, hear others perspectives but the final decision has to be yours. You must not allow others to make decision for you because you know so much about you that the other person dont.
I love it when wealthy people with none of the typical barriers (money, access to knowledgeable people etc) give this type of advice. It turns out having a "small" loan of a few million or a parent who already knowns the industry makes success a hell of a lot easier. All most all these "self made" people had tremendous help that the avg person simply doesn't have. It's no different to telling a homeless person to buy a home.
These people like steve jobs, eleon musk werent born wealthy. They did extraordinary things to get there. Having said that i dont promote toxic hustle culture either
@@roselynnwood4657 I'm not at all trying to diminish what they have achieved. Only pointing out that they provide advice from a perspective far removed from the average person.
@@roselynnwood4657 Steve Jobs had issues with Money. Elon Musk's father was reach, he owned half of an emerald mine in Zambia. Bill gates parents were wealthy, so was Mark Zuckerberg's. They had enough money to send their precious children to expensive private schools. They were pretty much curved for So called Success from a pretty early age.
Extraordinary things? What may they be? Did THEY do those things? or Was it mostly those nameless engineers/scientists who worked under them? Are those Engineers/Scientists giving us life advice? No, the one who was at the top of the food chain, who became billionaires, are giving us life advices. Most of them are White, so are they really that great role models for average black people, or other people of color? Are they even great role models for middle class white people? Yeah, Yeah, they will give some credits to those nameless people working under them, but what about giving them more money for a change? Not just that, How about giving them proper wage, working hours, right to form unions? On Amazon, workers have to pee in bottles cause they can't even spare time to go to the bathroom. There are so many people complaining about crazy stressful work environment in Tesla, but well, these great Businessmen, oh no, rather the Heroes of The Earth have some great cult, both in the mainstream media and the internet, and anytime you criticize them for their business ethics, the famous phrase come out, "Well, what have you done to save the earth and whatnot, at least he is doing something, even if they are getting crazy rich with it and basically skewing economy in such a way that it's hampering middle class people's life all together. But what about it, it's all okay, he is a genius, he is gonna send us to mars, he is a visionary, he is..................."
All these talk about passion, passion, passion, if anyone actually were honest and really looked at how modern marketing works, would easily figure out that it's all marketing strategy, cause they aren't just happy being crazy, crazy, crazy rich, they also wanna be some form of modern Techno-Deity to the general people.
Anyway, good for them. Yes, we can be billionaires too, we just gotta work hard. OH yes, the next billionaire in the making, 334,718,197 of them. YES.
@@roselynnwood4657 I thought elons family had an emeral mine or something
@@roselynnwood4657 bezos parents gave him 300 k for amazon when he was younger. According to inflation, the money they gave him would be the equivalent of 3 millions dollars today. How many people do you know who's parents have 3 million dollars lying around to give them.
Best life advice for everyone: Stop being so hard on yourself. You're a lot better than you think.
...eh
well...
That’s funny
I’m the exception 💀
But how do I know if I’m being to hard on myself?
I really like how she mentioned that realizing how sometimes there are factors in fate beyond our control helps to humble us. I feel that this mindset doesn't make one play victim or become arrogant when successful.
Best way to humble is smashing yourself with reality or…the simple way…being able to recognize somebody else's strength where you are weak…
@JX everything can be cope, if you want it to be
I mean I do agree but sometimes you can position yourself at the right spot or increase your chances of success. Many people just work hard for the sake of working hard
“Chance favors the prepared.” That's very much my perspective when it comes to luck, advantages and hard work. Also, work smart. I believe that's a more realistic advice.
That's a fact.
There's some truth to this for sure, but everyone I know who says this is either average or maybe slightly above average in terms of the typical metrics of success. Most of the wealthy people I know acknowledged that a lot of it had to do with being at the right place at the right time.
@@testtest-lc4xz I'd argue that it's those right place, right time moments that you're preparing for. Though it is almost impossible to force such a circumstance, someone who is prepared to make the best of a great situation will benefit much more than someone who tripped ass backwards into it.
For example, say you won one of just three tickets to a fancy event that a lot of important people are attending. If you took the time to clean up and dress in your nicest clothes, looking to network and socialize with high society into the wee hours of the evening, you may very well walk out of there with some powerful contacts that could greatly change the course of your life. You will be much better off than the other two winners, one of which is a teenage girl who's been obsessively pestering one specific actor in attendance, and the other a guy who's gaze has been consistently South of all the women's eyes. The most those two will take away from the event is bragging rights.
More like you got to know your options/opportunities and to choose from there. Being realistic, preparing and being smart for yourself in hopes that your future is bright. Sadly not many people are aware of their options. Plenty make bad decisions and are often short sighted
That's why my advice is usually "Work smart, not hard"
OMG - someone on the TH-cam giving mature, sane, factual advice. Thank You.
Not sure if you can call it "factual", but it's way less ignorant then the opinions she critiques.
You might also enjoy Struthless!
Not factual…her arguments are easy to literally destroy…
@@ericvalverderosado2046 Wait... you can't leave it like that.
@@ericvalverderosado2046 Why look to dissect and destroy arguments? Let's take the advice if we like, if it works fine, if it doesnt, try something else. We dont need scientific publishing to assert something that could be verified by trial and experience
My dad is very successful in his career, he basically hit the jackpot at a very early age and what he said about it was that is that he got lucky. He said though, that you need to work hard to make the area where luck can strike you a bit bigger.
Well, you said that he worked hard to confront the "LUCK" ! luck is only when preparation meets opportunity, but if you are not prepared (have not raised to the approproate level), then you won't ! the answer is in the statement itself !
Yes, there is a saying that luck is when hard work meets opportunity.
@@Chessbox09 and it's hard to find the opportunities.
@@unicornsrice1667 Can’t argue with that
Same with my mom. When she and dad got together all luck started going to them. It was crazy. But then again they've always been the type of people who prepare considering both were not rich and grew up poor
Agree. 4 years at uni taught me that hard work alone was not enough. And it is funny how when you dont make any progress ppl will automatically say u havent worked hard enough when obviously, u are stressed out af. And remember that wether you have worked hard enough or not, god knows, you know and they dont know
It taught me that talent is not enough. Luckily I was the one that had a teacher as a parent, while I never had to work _hard_, I still had to put some effort in (except maths, but hey, I agree I am 20% unfair advantages) so i got through it. Friend that had never had to work for it in school, could not transition as well from being a big fish in a small pond and dropped out.
The irony of it all? He has had much more consistent success than I had the last 25 years.
you had the desire, but you put the work at the wrong place. doesn't mean you shouldn't work hard. work hard smartly
Many can succeed if they didn't consider university or college as their only option to success. Sure the chances are high if you go to college but it all comes down to what you really want and how you will achieve that in a way that works for you. Like what's your plan a to plan d.
You still have to work hard. Thats the idea
I think it’s not about working hard for the sake of it but rather you should work hard but on the right things
I am opposite of "thick skin". My therapist even puts it as - "you were born without skin". I have vegetative dystonia since age 6 which makes my body absolutely fall apart whenever i'm stressed and had eventually lead to me being disabled. I am extremely annoyed at this type of advice - be strong, work hard, you'll get what you deserve - because i _can't_ do that, and it's not my fault! I have to learn to live with my condition(s) and i'm still learning to accept myself thanks to people telling everyone to grind equally. I don't care if people think i'm lazy or that i somehow deserve worse conditions over something i have no control over - i know what i need and what's bad for me, i want to make my own hours and try to make my own life at least a little easier.
The exception does not make the rule.
The average person who does not have their body fucking self destruct for putting in work should work hard to increase the odds of achieving what they want
@@slayeroffurries1115 i totally agree. The "thick skin" is a very good piece of advice.
As someone living with a chronic illness, I 1000% relate to this! You're not lazy, and you're allowed to take life at your own pace ❤️
@@slayeroffurries1115 Yes, an average person's body won't stop working properly after experiencing stress, but the *brain* has a much higher chance of damaging itself after it, and if your mental health get worse, your body will suffer as a result
@@ayrtonjoga Being overworked is always very stressful. But if any hard work stresses you out (enough to cause health issues) then either your life is poorly optimized (which you can fix) or you have a mental illness (also fixable unless you're unlucky). So most people should aim for hard work (but not overworking themselves).
Several books really helped me get over the belief that I have "too many interests" and need to decide on one to follow as my "passion":
• Refuse To Choose! (Barbara Sher)
• Range (David Epstein)
• The Episodic Career (Farai Chideya)
• I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was (Barbara Sher)
Ohhh thank you so much for the recommendations Anna!
With which one would you start? :)
I have so much passions that I couldn't even count them too. But they're still passions and you still should follow them am I wrong?) And to do ti - you should listen to yourself, surprisingly enough! :) It's not about being always right - it's about trusting your inner compass. And those advises, in right hands and outside of toxic "hustle" culture are REALLY great!
@@djVania08 I would start with Refuse to Choose! It was the first book I read on the topic and probably impacted my view the most
Can someone tell me how do i develop a stronger core? Also how to have a good support system and what does it even mean?
"chasing your dream does not look like fun".. yeah girl... tell it as it is.
I am not chasing my dreams, i am committed to my dreams. Yes, its hard and annoying at times, but its mine and i love it in every moment of the process.
"U need to have very soft skin and quite strong core, aka strong core beliefs and values." - Elizabeth. kids in this decade will quote this lady for EVER, at least i will. 🤓😍
She just said you need thick skin in a different language setting. It's not something so different.
@@SingingblissofRajat
No???
@@SingingblissofRajat ikr and all these people quite literally taking the billionaires advice when forcefully asked by an interviewer like how dumb of a person you can be to actually think just working hard is enough to get rich lol
Said thick skin in a feminine way…that’s good but at the same point contradiction to her point ahahaha…thick skin does not exist with thick core…she put Jordan Peterson with that part…come ooon, he's a psychologist that worked in a field dominated by women…
@@ericvalverderosado2046 Nah core and think skin are different. Think skin is a tough outer layer core is from within. Think skin you ignore insult let it roll off. Strong core is knowing yourself your value so you take in whats said or done but you know whats true and value your values so others opinions are just theirs and holds no meaning to you.
When the online community is too filled with self declared intellectuals and "smart" people, getting across genuinely smart people with original perspective like yourself is like a fresh breeze :) Liked and subscribed!
Don't forget all the alphas
Kim: Work hard
Also Kim: Gained fame from nothing and being born millionaire
Well, that doesn't make her advice invalid. She has built a successful makeup business, so that shows that being born into money didn't make her complacent.
@@Musicienne-DAB1995 Common dude. She made a porn tape and most white suburban females wanted to look like her after all the cosmetic surgeries. Her youngest sister is also a genius too?? Majority of humans are shallow and followers, they'll go for anything popular. It's the reason the Kardashians are so successful not because they worked so hard. Hope no young girls with good parents ever take anything these jezebels say seriously.
well she worked for it and had her success cumming...
@@Musicienne-DAB1995 how much was that her and how much was her employees?
@@TheWanDoctor Oh, I am sure that a lot of it was her employees and associated corporations. But that is how many major enterprises work. It takes savvy. She does a lot on the marketing and branding side.
As an immigrant physician to the USA who had to start over by flipping burgers and now working as a medical assistant - I thank you for addressing our struggle. ❤️
I remember reading a short story as a kid that changed my perspective about finding and working hard on only ONE passion. It was about a kid who wanted like, 7 different jobs when he grew older, and the best part about this story is that not one adult shut him down or invalidated his stance. It gave me soo much hope because I was just like him: I liked to do so many things and didn't want to focus on a specific one for the rest of my life. Your last advice reminded me of this story and why I loved it so much. Thank you!!!
So what are you doing now? Are you still able to engage in all the things you are interested in? I am 44 and re-considering going back to school for landscape architecture which would cost a lot of money, take me out of the workforce, and in the end after 3-4 years of school I would be earning 25-50% less than I do now. Makes it hard to pursue.
Would you be so kind to provide the title of said story? I feel like it would be a great eye opener for all of us! :")
@@velojames15 hi, I’m just a 16 year old kids so I’m just going to take my experience!
Idk your situation seriously.
But my mom was very toxic growing up. Idk if u have kids, but.. she got out of her hard overworking job and started learning something new. (She is now working in what she loves. Helping people that struggle with mental health with art) now, being honest with u, it’s hard growing up with not a lot of money.( we never really had any but her new job didn’t help) But I’m happier that she is more happy , so I say if u have kids not only u can get your dreams, everyone else in the house will be happier around you.
But again, Idk what am I doing in life so
i think issue about luck and hard work is that when we face failure we blame ourselves for not putting in enough effort, but when we see our friends or any other people failing, we would tell them its just bad luck.
I think it's basically that we judged ourselves harsher than we judged other people. To other people, we will tell them that because we don't know how hard they work and want to lighten up their condition. Luck can be formed in certain situations, are you born in a certain family, are you at the right time, or are you at the right place. And yes there are tons of stories, from historical people, that luck is a great factor in success. For a rough example: insulin experiment in 1922.
Yep. But it's also not only about what we say to ourselves. I mean, where do we get this pattern of blaming ourselves for not working hard enough if things didn't work out? It's because there are plenty of other people who said that crap to us, so if we internalised that as some truth (because we heard it so often in childhood from adults) we end up telling such unhealthy things to ourselves. While those people are either misinformed themselves or actually just assholes. I had some bad lecturers in the university who couldn't teach anything, but they loved to blame any issues students had because of that on "students just being lazy and not putting in enough work". Yeah, of course. So convenient for them, so horrible for students. And anyone who was lucky not to encounter such toxic teachers, lecturers, parents etc often wouldn't even understand the struggles of those who did, so they most likely would jump on that bandwagon of blaming. While the real issue stays unaddressed and ignored by society. And it's money issue too, because wealthier people tend to have better educators and education resources which leads to better work opportunities, while poorer people usually have to "suck it up", ignore issues due to not enough resources to change or escape the shitty situation and shitty employment afterwards on top of that. Vicious cycle, also technically part of society benefits from "keeping others in the dark", so not everyone would even want to change it.
I think general we view it wrong it’s more about working smart and at the right things not if we put effort or not
LOVE what you said about having thick skin! "Have soft skin but a strong core." So good. It's ok to have those feelings and a strong internal world.....but also have strong personal boundaries for how people speak to and treat you. Thank you for sharing!
"Have soft skin but a strong core" sounds like beauty and fitness advice. xD
I think it's an important distinction worth making, I just thought that was funny. :)
The tree analogy is nice as well there.
A sapling has a soft core and a soft skin, but already quite small the bark/skin is as tough as it ever will be.
It is the strong core that allows the tree to grow high, and the soft skin that allows the tree to live and grow.
At my last two jobs my slogan was "don't treat me like I own the place" -- but seriously, self-care and balance then caring for others are way more important than the goal "work until you collapse".
It's so refreshing to hear someone go against the same old rhetoric that's constantly spouted by the rich.
I had it hard as a teenager... It wasn't until I was an adult that I was diagnosed with ADD and anxiety... But what started helping me a bit at the time, was kind of a negative view "Expect the worst and it can only get better"... This, of course, made me pessimistic and alone... So the best advice I have heard and can give is: "Enjoy the little things - nobody knows what tomorrow brings" and "Never go to bed angry"
Really good advice
I think the great advice here is: don't take others mindset, efforts and results as a solid truth for your own life.
And if I could put some words to improve this, it would be:
Write down your goals based on your own principles and what you really value. Be prepared to rearrange your goals according to the moment you are living. Almost certainly others rulers will not fit to you.
this is my issue. i’ve noticed over the last four years that i use others as a guideline cuz idk what i wanna do in life, but coupled with depression, it spiraled into “i must be an everyman with whom everyone loves and agrees” and i’m finally on a path of figuring out what i truly want. it is really tough, but i know spending more time with myself (without my phone) will help.
True, as Bruce Lee said "Learn everything. Keep what works."
But shouldn't one have a guide? I'm 17, my guy, I truly believe that I don't know anything about life. What you're saying, to me, sounds like saying that I should have an opinion on how to bake the perfect cake, while I don't know to cook at all. Don't you need a core, you know, a basis, to find what you want to do? I don't know, man, I'm just a dude who's trying to figure out how things work and what on earth I'm going to do with my life, man. High school ends for me this year, in less than a year, actually. I really don't know what piece of advice to follow! The fucking internet, man. Everyone has an opinion on this extremely important matter and everyone's opinion is different, but, to me, sounds equally valid. My parents, always told me to go for the safest option, but I don't want to work on a job just because it's a safe choice. I don't wanna be miserable! I'm generally a pretty optimistic person, but when it comes to this subject, I lose my fucking shit. Why does everything have to be so complicated?
@@odysseasandroutsos1821 Sorry for getting late, but you need to take what is worth for you. Your parents tell you to go for the safe option, but taking the safe option is necessary for a while and it doesn't mean you'll be in the safe spot for the rest of your life, but it'll give you peace so you could focus on the next step. Most of these successful people are geniuses and it's difficult to replicate their success because they were lucky to be born in a rich family and with a great mind that was stimulated at an early age, but what we have to do is to be less hard on us and look for our own advantages and use them without having to hear how others get to be successful because this is something really different for everyone and if you start listening to everyone you'll waste your time.
@@felixpaniagua6018 yep, that's the conclusion I've came to as well. I'll just follow the path I want to follow and see where that leads. Thank you, my friend! Have a nice day!
"Chasing your dreams does not always look like fun" Great quote!
What I like the most about you Elizabeth, is how self-aware and uninfluenced by the authority figures you are. You clearly trust your own mind the most. Good for you!
Same
this video made me realize that I've been expected to achieve the same things as other people who have had better circumstances and it's just not fair because it made me press hard on myself, thinking that my laziness is to be blamed for every bad thing that happens to me.
I think it also depends on being at the right spot and working at the right thing. Not just pure hard work
The last bad advice was spot on, it really hits home. And it’s kinda validating that someone also feels this way.
but aren't multiple and changing passions - still passions and it's better to follow them than do things that you don't like just because "I'm a serious grown-up and I must not have fun". Or what?
To me the formula of success is nearly realy in
1. Hard work
2.Enough support (financial, emotional, social...)
3. Initial talent
You forgot the fourth, luck. So many things beyond our control.
@@akiram6609 I always saw luck as two fold. For example, sometimes something you didn't plan or prepare for happens and it may benefit you. In addition, you vould be working on a skill just for fun and then you find yourself in random situation where that skill is needed and you capitlize on the situation. This latter example really does depend heavily on you since if you didn't have that prepartion then the opportunity would have left.
Talent is overrated!
@@akiram6609 luck is created
@JX You’re either in denial or you are a child. Luck is another name for factors that aren’t within your control. Life is full of things you can’t control. Hard work will get you some of the things you want but not all of them.
I get your point that a lot of people's results in life have more to do with certain advantages or disadvantages that they had. But I do believe that effort to a certain extent increases your luck. If you want avocados the more avocado seeds that you plant the higher the probability that you will end up with avocados in the end... Another point is that working on your inner environment can many times lead to higher returns than working on the outer environment which we have less control over.
That's what i was about to say, you explained it admirably, the idea of the video is true and those advides may be really misleading in a certain way especially without a correct context that gives the nuances of the unfairness of the world, in my opinion yeah luck in the avantages that we have and opportunites is present and makes huge difference but work builds you you are more consistent in your performance more internaly solid the external factors will less or not affect you so you have indirectly more opportunites cause you will get noticed and get a reputation more easily, you create more opportunites cause you try more like you said and you seek them relentlessly until you make a difference, i prefer this mentality : you do your best with what you have and learn from failures without comparing yourself with others to achieve your potentiel cause luck beside winning the lottery by getting noticed or something like that is the potentiel you have when you were born big or small don't waste it and strive for a better life and to achieve that potentiel and sometimes it seems small at the beginning but you unlock crazy things later, don't genuinely blame yourself or the others understand the situation what you can improve and keep going.
Using your analogy, I could also say that how much money you already had from the start would affect how many avocado seeds you could reasonably afford. Again, it goes back to the argument that people who are born with more resources have a higher chance of making it. That being said, I agree that focusing on what we can control is better than crying over the things we can't. A person who takes care of the three avocado seeds they have can still succeed instead of the lazy, careless person with a hundred seeds. That's why it's worth putting in effort despite luck and random chance.
All this talk about avocadoes has made me hungry.
If you plant 1000 avocado seeds in the wrong conditions you won’t get avocados. If you plant one seed in the right condition you will get avocados. It’s not about the amount of seeds, it’s about the right soil, temperature, amount of sunlight, amount of water etc.
Avocado... Come on man ..
I get you also .
I also believe that working on smth you want is definitely better, but I believe that the person on the video was saying to do it to our own limits, not exceed them like majority of these hustlers say we should do. I am putting in the effort I need for good grades in university and in my internships due to the fact that I want to have a good job and payment in the future, I know the work I put now is going to pay off in the end, compared to me not doing anything at all. But I know that my mental health is also extremely important and I shouldn't bother myself with what I cannot do at the moment, I can always ask for help. Also the passion thing really struck to me. I have a ton of hobbies, most of them artistic ones, and everyone always says "you should try making money out of it" but I don't want to. The field I chose to study rn was solemnly chosen due to the fact that I know my abilities and that I know I'm capable of doing it and getting a good paying job from it, so my future would pretty much be secured. If I followed what I was truly passionate about, I'd be worried sickly about whether or not I'd manage to bring enough money on the table to survive another month, because I SUCK with dealing with customers and handling deadlines of my own. It's definitely best to choose something you know you can do and don't hate, than smth you're truly passionate about which you'll end up hating. Sometimes, being passionate about having an average life with enough money to survive monthly is a good enough reason to choose a job you don't love, but simply are good at
Your honesty earned yourself a follower. Finally found someone whose thoughts resonates with mine. Productivity and working hard aren’t always the answers to success. Finally someone has the audacity to point it out.
I love that you also take into account mothers with children when you explain a concept. I feel like that factor gets often overlooked in the so called 'hustle culture' and by time management experts in general. I often hear the words like 'you can manifest anything' bla bla but when I think of it, in my opinion there are so many other things that could potentially happen where you have no control over, especially as a woman (because there is a huge part of society that still expect women to do the main part of childcare so you have no time developing your career), when it comes to relationships (are you going to find the perfect match, is the person going to stay faithful ect.) so that this whole manifestation thing is only true to a certain degree. There is so much luck involved as you said.
if it were possible to manifest anything, there wouldn't be any ijits
@@anxen do you watch Supernatural
I'm 18 years old, so I don't have much life experience; nevertheless, everything you said makes so much sense to me. These self-help gurus aren't giving life advice based on reality. Your advice is rooted in reality and actual experiences. It’s practical advice for anyone. Thanks for the video!
One successful businessman when asked how one can become successful candidly stated that there is no true blue print, but that its more to do with being, "at the right place, at the right time".
Me at 28 with ADHD, four mental illnesses, lifelong poverty and severe imposter syndrome, feeling like shit because of this "advice" from privileged billionaires because I'm nowhere near where I need to be as an artist. Thank you for helping to point out their bs ❤
I also have ADHD and the comorbid mental health issues often attached to it. Because of the ADHD we already have to work wayyyy harder than others usually for a fraction of the results. Work harder is the most useless bit of advice for us!
@@hopecreekranch365 Like yo I can barely muster the strength to brush my teeth. How is "working harder" with zero mental and physical energy going to help me?
woot woot! comrade in life!
I think the strong inner world is what most people THINK a thick skin is. There is a difference though, and you nailed it.
I'm with you, the advice to follow your passion effed me up! I'm passionate about EVERYTHING. I have SO MANY interests! I cannot follow them all! It took me years to settle into a healthy pattern with a job I enjoy and doing whatever habits I feel like at the time.
So true that everybody should work on something to have fun, and the result they can get is based on luck. Don't work for the result, work for fun! Thanks for the video!
Agreed, but this fits well with "passion" and "following yourself" advidses. I really don't understand - how is it - follow your passion is a bad advise because you should better follow your passionS? Wtf honestly lol?))
If you don't study a lot of math (do a 4 year major in math and 4-6 years postgraduate study and then maybe years more studying as an independent researcher), you won't solve an unsolved problem in math no matter how lucky you are.
If you don't study a prerequisite amount of time, luck won't save you.
@@metinersinarcan92 you can continue studying math, when you enjoy it. If you don't like it, you will stop learning if you can't resolve an unresolved problem. Whether you can solve such problems is a luck (aka probability), but when you stop trying your luck is zero. If you don't enjoy the challenge, maybe you can choose another one 😉
I wish younger me had this video. Especially the bit about being passionate and finding your “one true calling” would have saved me a lot of pain and tears. Even being older and having gone through and come out with the opinion on my own, it is so nice and affirming to hear someone else say it.
how you doin rn?
Hard work was rewarded well half a century ago. An uneducated full-time working husband per household was financially enough to provide for a decent sized family living in a large house with a car. This is not the case anymore.
About thick skin I also agree with your points, but I would personally add that being feared also helps. It can prevent situations (conflicts) in which you need to rely only on resilience.
13:30 that's exactly me. I'm uncertain if it's because of my ADHD because my interests change rapidly. It feels like the system doesn't like multipassionates (generalists) as much as it likes specialists.
Your first paragraph is not very factual from an economics standpoint. Houses today are much bigger than houses and feature far more amenities than back then. Plus, home ownership rates - at least in the United States - are actually higher today than in the 1970s/1960s.
@Taevas I agree, even she said it herself in the video.
5% is hardwork, 20% is your situation and 75% is luck (or something like that)
Out of those 3, which I do believe all play a large role in your success, hardwork is the one thing you can control. So when people say you should work hard to succeed, that should encourage you to make the most of that 5% instead of pushing it aside and not acknowledging it...
@Taevas "if you're homeless just buy a house"
They were not rewarded by their hard work, they were rewarded because Americans exploited the rest of the world that just went through a devastating World War. America continue to create conflict all around the world to keep up their hegemony of the world. Maybe if Russia and Europe start fighting again you all can regain back the golden era of exploiting world wars for your own advantage.
@dodo Work is 5% of your result, but 100% of the things you can control.
I agree with almost everything she says BUT in the section "trust your instinct"... I think she misunderstood this...instincts are not the same as decisions. Instinct is something you feel very strongly about when encountering something, it's not the decision about everyday things but rather about certain "special" things when you get that feeling that you really should or shouldn't do but you can't really tell why you are feeling so strongly about that thing. Later it showed that I dodged a really big bullet when I trusted my instincts...maybe not everyone feels that but it almost never disappointed me, it always showed for a greater good. I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense.
This is kinda tiring, I consumed a lot of self-help book/content that tells me things to do, then I read other books/content that tell me that the former miss the point. Damn sometimes I just wish I could just go back to how I was, knowing nothing about all this, just doing my thing
same oneside saying do this and videos like this saying well do that. Atp do what feels right and do your best.
@@junemckenzie8412 well, reading books and learning more helps. You know ur options better
I watch almost every motivational channel on TH-cam and this is quickly becoming my favorite. Excellent style, content, and execution.
The "have a strong core rather than thick skin" seems like a phrasing issue to me. In a way, they both mean the same thing. Having thick skin is being strong enough not to let outside circumstances shake your.. well, core, actually. Art least that's how I always understood the concept. But I like your alternative advice as well!
Also, definitely agree with "it's 80%" luck. Work hard, because if you want to achieve any kind of success in life (or maintain it) you need to put in the work. Whether it'll actually get you the results you want is largely up to chance, but if you don't work you basically have to stumble upon a winning lottery ticket somewhere on the pavement.
@JX You truly think that a lot of life it's about our effort? That's just foolish.
As a person in their early 20s, I needed this. I feel so lucky to have found your channel. You're one of the 5 people I follow on TH-cam and I've got Ali to thank for that lol. I hope you keep doing these videos. These are really necessary and novel. Thank you for your work. Wish you all the happiness ❤️
P.s - Taking that editing game to a new level Elizabeth ✨👌😌.
This channel for me should have been around 5 years ago. So many useful things I could have used during my studies
The need to find ur passion part kind of goes hand in hand with the ideas of being a prodigy which is also something I ABSOLUTELY HATE. Being subjected to such bad advices and the pressure i felt for not being a prodigy when the kids around me were did a number on me.
It killed me. Everyone around me was/is a prodigy and I constantly feel like I'm a failure and that I'm never going to go anywhere because I wasnt a master at 12. Still hurts to this day
I just found your channel yesterday and been watching your videos since then, It’s like you’re just putting in words every little thought I have ever had omg
I agree with you that luck plays a significant role in a person's success. But luck is a factor beyond our control. When successful people give advice such as working hard and work smart, they are talking about doing things that are within our control. In this respect, they are correct.
"Luck" is just called like that cause there is simply no explanation of how all your actions went clashing in in a positive way to you, but every step has its effect, I dont think luck is just randomness. If everyone could have a mathematic formula to calculate it, we could see it, but cause we dont see it, doesnt mean its not there.
If that’s what they meant then that’s what they should have said…🙄 also she addressed that hard work is a factor
That's like saying "if we don't count the broken wheel then the car is totally usable, just drive it!"
@@slimetank394 yes
@@Fralinda1257 she said it only made up 5% and I personally believe it is what makes at least 15-20%
I came up with one as a child: "nothing is a waste."
I am much older now and it has fully integrated into who I am. Essentially, I was thrown into a very rough environment in which so much was stacked against me. However, I decided to tell myself to always find something I can learn from an experience, especially a bad one. It helped me survive and develop a pragmatic but optimistic outlook.
This is why I love her and look up to her. She is honest and real. ❤️
Eeek not sure I deserve this, but thank you!
Jazakallah for bringing the topic of "work=you'll get what you deserve" cus it's been a huge help for strengthening my belief in taqdir, and my Iman,the fact that life isn't always meant for following our passion cus MOST PEOPLE don't even have the luxury of having a passion itself.
Thank you for another great video! Regarding the Formula for Success topic, you said you think it breaks down to 5% hard work, 15% unfair advantages, and 80% luck. I understand, that these are fairly arbitrary percentages, but I'd be curious to hear anyone's thoughts on my interpretation of the Formula. The Formula described here is basically the equation:
Success = X*UnfairAdvantages + Y*HardWork + Z*Luck
where X, Y, Z are the percentages you mentioned.
However, in my view, these percentages vary widely on your environment, especially, when it comes to unfair advantages/disadvantages. Essentially, there are different levels of inequality depending on the environment.
When it comes to hard work vs. luck, maybe I'm being optimistic, but while I agree that 80% of success is luck, hard work can chip away at that percentage. Basically, the harder you work, the less luck you need, though I would say the minimum percentage of luck would be around 50% (still high). Additionally, the percentage reduced from luck with hard work follows the law of diminishing returns.
Thanks for reading through my thoughts. If I missed/misunderstood something I'd be grateful if you let me know. Have a great day everyone!
I would add a component with the ability to work as a team with others. Working with someone can exponentially increase results potentially, and a teammate can talk you out of quitting when you are discouraged.
I love this perspective
Your reframe of hard work and thick skin really helped me. negative comments get to me, but i should ask myself why i believe these things deep down. And i love you working hard for joy and not for success. It really opens up how success actually happens. Success doesnt even happen from joy. It's so random. But you can work hard and enjoy it, with no attachment to the random nature of outcomes. :']
It's amazingly buddhist. You could be successful one moment and a wreck the next. Luck is random. But having a strong core and enjoying stuff you put effort into is eternal
Top-notch editing in this video! Like Woody Allen said, “80% of success is just showing up.”
"Luck is just possibility of all positive and negative forces."
There are things you can control and also things that you cant.
Just make sure you do what you can and for the rest.
Wish you the very best.
Thanks for sharing the more unpopular aspects of the hustle grind culture that surrounds us. It’s surprising that you see 80% just luck but you have your points there 😅 political and sistemic unfairnesses expressed in inequality of opportunity is something I’m passionate. Thanks for the new video. 👏
Also, I have seen people with the most advantages sitting on their hands, whining and discouraged, while people with the least opportunities work consistently and surpass them.
@@mindiwilhelm4322 agree
In my opinion even tho sometimes we don't have luck in life hard work is not really the case sometimes it's just all about working SMART ,this is something that I don't often see people talk about but it's truly a game changing
@@Alaa-d6z Working smart, that's the way. Working smart includes positioning yourself to "get lucky" and maximize the probability of realizing your goals, working a considerable amount of time to hone your skills, expand your knowledge so that you can have more wise decisions in your work and life.
Oppression definitely is much higher than 15%. The girl in the video is a pretty privileged person herself if she thinks only 15% depends on your background. But yet again, that was her experience and shows off the differences each individual has
@@mindiwilhelm4322 This is the multiplicative effect. The formula for success is: work*advantages*luck.
Work is between 0 and 1, advantages between 1 and 100, luck between 0 and 2000.
An advantage of 1 is just being alive. Sucess is when work > 0.5, and luck>advantages.
Thank you so much for this. My whole mentality has been HUSTLE HUSTLE HUSTLE, and I always thought that my worth was measured on my productivity, success and money. The hustle culture has been so distructive to me as a person because I am neurodivergent and struggle with my ADHD a lot. I always see my friends work hard and live their hustle life but I could never get into that mind set, I always thought "what's wrong with me?" and whenever I did rest I would feel guilty and think "the reason I'm not so successful is becuase I'm not doing the work" when in truth I need a lot of recovery time, I went through a lot in my childhood and have never ever had the privilage of working through it because I've been in surival mode since I was born, but now that I'm in a place of comfort and peace i realise that, I'm bloody exhausted. Rest and recharge time is so important and is part of the path to success.
girl, I've been telling these exact things to everyone I know for the... well.. the past 10 years probably (me, the psych major) and I am so happy someone else actually made a structured video of it and put it out there!!
our traits and condition and those of the others we interact with are at play every single moment and that's how life happens :)) that's how you get or don't get the job (even if you're on equal footing with everyone else from a skill perspective)
I've felt this first hand when, at a job some years ago, my team leader hired somebody who clearly did not want to work (I attended the interview; he was skilled and had the intelligence to handle the job) only because they both had read the same book that week... in the end I ended up mentoring this person and provided constant feedback on his lack of motivation to actually do the job; after much toil the person left on their own when their own business took off and did not need the paycheck we were giving him... and it all started with a damn book.
That is quite interesting to know not gonna lie. Makes me glad to hear human beings are human beings regardless of the position they have at work. Sometimes I feel inferior to some higher position people at my job but hearing this I realize that at the end of the day, what we truly all crave is connection and understanding
Even I sometimes doubted whether these cliche advices were some "life changing advice". I am glad to find someone who agrees with me.
Wow I love the creativity from this video! Not only is the editing amazing but the commentary is SOO relatable. Thank you 🙏🏽
Hey i also just recently saw u on nathaniel drew comment section lol
Thank youuu!!!
Thank you Elizabeth, I'm watching this the 2nd time, better unpopular advice summarized -
1. work because you have to and it can be fun, results are random
2. have soft skin( stay vulnerable, inner world) and a strong core( your beliefs )
3. question yourself, don't fool yourself
4. you can read in low light maybe
5. passions change and are multiple, frustration is part of the work
Great one Elizabeth! I agree with most things, but I just have a few reservations.
Advice 1. Work hard and you'll get what you deserve.
I'm glad you mentioned luck because it's something that goes overlooked too often if you asked me, then everyone gets mad when they don't get what they deserve. But I don't agree that luck accounts for as much as you give it credit for.
A mentor of mine once told me that luck is hard work + opportunity. While I don't think that's the full picture either, I think hardwork actually does drive WAY more than you give it credit for. You gave the example of someone who got a job because someone else quit... Well, that's luck, but if a person who was sub-par was in that same situation, he wouldn't have got the job. Or he'd get it and then be fired because of poor performance. The person was good enough to get it and so they did. Without the work it took the person to be good enough to get it, that "luck" would've just been a "missed opportunity". Yes, there is chaos behind our outcomes, but I think there's a good measure of predictability. In middle school, I was a lame average student. In high school, I worked harder, and I literally became the best student in my department of studies. I just studied hard & smart and when people call me smart, I just laugh because I knew people in my class who i thought were smarter than me. But that brings me to something else I thought you were going to talk about which plays a big role as well, and that's SMART work. I think smart work has a decemt place in that pie chart. I also think that luck or unfair advantages affect ease of getting somewhere more than how much you can grow. We're dealt different hands in life... A person might be sick, or poor, and so on... We might be born on Level -2, while someone else might be born on Level 3. Obviously, it's going to be easier for the other person to reach Level 6 because you first have to climb up to Level 0, and I'm not even claiming that you'll even get to level 6 if you put in the work. You might. But you can at least end up at Level 2 or 3. All I'm saying is that hard-work can drive so much more than a 5% advancement from where you currently are. Don't get me wrong though, your thoughts were actually really insightful, and I'm glad you're mentioning luck.
Advice 2. You need thick skin.
It's amazing that you're addressing the issue of wanting to be so tough that you never address anything that happens... Which is actually very damaging to the psyche...
But what I understand to be thick skin is what you mean when you say soft skin and a strong core. To me, developing thick skin means having adversity or negativity befall you and not being crushed or destroyed by it. It means saying "Yep, shit happens", without it affecting your sense of worth. It doesn't necessarily prescribe what to do with that negative stimuli or adversity. It's just has to do with the reaction to being hit with it. And I think, and I believe you'd agree that it's pretty useful to not be toppled over by life's harshness. In that case, I do think it's necessary to, as you've done, say that it's necessary to engage with that adversity and grow from it, however that might be.
Advice 3. Trust yourself.
Oh yeah, I completely agree to this. Kind of like you, I was thinking of quitting on studying Law. But I'm still here. Woo!
Advice 4. Don't read too much
Man... I'm no doctor, I know nothing about this, but if it only stresses then good for me. Go Lizzy!
Advice 5. Find your passion.
You know... For the longest time I've been in limbo and indecision trying to figure out "my one true passion", when it feels like I have 6 of them. It sucks. So, I agree. And the thought chasing your dreams is all lovely work is an idea I've been trying to unteach myself. I've just now recently to decided to explore them, and right now, I'm focusing on my painting :). There's always going to be tough work, and I think it's important to remember because the line between "this is difficult", and "this is not just for me" can be very blurry. Thank you, Lizzy!
This was such an exciting and insightful video. I don't usually bother to type things like this, but there were things I disagreed with and agreed with and you just seemed really welcoming and I couldn't help myself. Anyways. I love it! Can't wait to see more!
Advice 1: smart work, take initiative and some luck, not 85%. For an average income, luck is not even important. When you aim for the top then you need some luck, but even then not 85%.
just imagine a digital artist or a software engineer following this 5% hard work advice / sheet. They would never become even a mediocre at what they want to do. Image a digital artist working for an hour a day and then spending his day sitting on his butt and waiting for luck to happen XD. Like if you are going to spend 1 hour a day only on your craft then you work is going to look like shit. No amount of luck would help you if your digital art looks like a total shit.
Look at the other hand now. If you spend 12 hours per day working and developing a skill, after a year you will have a billion opportunities as an artist, because your work would be very good and you would have no other competition. You would be able to say any price for your work and you will be able to relax more since you gained a great skill.
Her statements in this video are insanely bad or dumb. I have no idea. Like she herself put tons of work and time into her videos to keep and grow an audience. Maybe she is trolling in this video I dont know.
You have literally expressed everything I was thinking throughtout the video. Finally one comment that doesn't just agree with every single thing she says! You are a legend
The "be passionate about what you're doing" idea ignores the fact that even if you find a job you truly love, there's always going to be _something_ about if that you dont like very much. For example if you're an engineer you may enjoy doing design work but hate working with clients or doing the documentation. Nobody likes EVERY single aspect of their job and that's ok. In life there will always be things we dont like that we have to do anyway and we cant build a satisfying like unless we accept that
Elizabeth, I especially like your remarks "Don't Read Too Much." I collect books and read a lot. I'll enjoy reading much more if I know there's no chance I'm damaging my vision by hours of reading. I hope you take up this theme again. I subscribed to your newsletter today.
Most people don't want to acknowledge the amount of luck that they had in their life because at some level they feel a devalues the work that they put in...
And we place those that we perceive as successful on mantles thereby if we don't feel like we're successful then we're part of the less-thans...
Thank you for this, I have been running myself ragged for so many years trying to choose one thing as my true "passion" .... impossible!! More videos like this please!
I've always been told stick to one thing. But what if I have several? Thank God there's someone on TH-cam who understands me that I have a passion for many things athletics, hip hop, teaching, languages...
Keep going, u r the best. May God bless u❤
Having 'tough skin' is avoidance 101. You will just spend more and more of your life force trying to keep every trigger at bay :(
I will say definitely dont always trust your instinct, but also dont completely let others make the decision for u. Gather all the relevant data, hear others perspectives but the final decision has to be yours. You must not allow others to make decision for you because you know so much about you that the other person dont.
Wow Elizabeth this might be my favourite video you've ever made, so validating, introspective and honest. Thank you for talking about how meritocracy is a lie!! I really loved this, truly hit close to home
Thank you so much Yasmin!
This totally aligns with the whole movement thats become popularized to not put your everything into work constantly, and I love it. It does seem like ppl are on one side or the other of this spectrum
Huge and warm hugs to you Elizabeth for taking the time to publish such a crucial video for all of us, especially the younger generation. I really appreciate it and thank you for what you are doing through your content ❤😄
Thank you so much!
You’re absolutely right for me, it’s just that hard work pays off if I know it’s going to pay off(I don’t do random things is what I am saying) but luck is a factor as in you create your own luck. I have yearly goals and at the same time I am having fun. Hope anyone here no matter their situation can be their ultimate version of themselves and reach their dreams and aspirations.
I am really impressed! This is such good content. Original ideas, amazing editing, visually appealing. Must have been so much work behind the scenes! (Also, your hair looks gorgeous as always)
AH thank you so much! it was a lot of editing work, but it was super-fun 😆
This is exactly how i think. All our accomplishments and failures are not ours. Being humble and forgiving to not only ourselves but to other people is the way to go in life!. Amazing video! And you’re gorgeous ❤️
Loved this! I always thought that quotes/advice from the internet aren't/ isn't always true, because the people who gave them/it, either lied or that particular advice just worked for them. Life is different for everybody and many times we learn just by living, especially since we're all different and trusting our intuition. Sending love! 💓
Yeah I do agree. No two people are the same. What advice work for somebody, may not for a different person depending on their situation. If somebody gives you an advice its coming from their experiences and what is their view of the world. They don't even know who would listen to the words they say on the internet. And ironically my the best advice is to just have faith in the universe, no strings attached to anybody, no obligations, just you and yourself, and one two good books won't hurt.
“would I be happy as an architect?” I asked myself that 10 years ago…turns out my first answer was wrong. but you know, from time to time I do have a good time as you said. :)
If you are an architect. You're good with computers. Why don't just sell Online Blueprints
Working hard is 100% important. You are what you do, and don’t let anybody convince you otherwise.
Once I started working hard and disciplining myself, my life completely changed. Any millionaire out there will tell you that it requires hard work to get rich. It all starts with discipline and focus.
People don’t like to hear that because it makes them feel bad. “Oh no, I have to work?”. The brain is used to feeling comfort, and it will give you any and all excuses under the sun to keep you there. Trust me. Working hard is everything. Discipline, learning, focus.
This was such a nicely animated and explained vid , haha loved 😍 your emotions and especially when you said " people who have 3-4 kids waiting for them in a country whose language they cannot speak properly and then telling them to work hard is stupid..."
I just joined your channel in few weeks back. This advice is the best i ever heard . Its marvelous from a young lady like yourself to give a spot on advice and i am in my 40's and saw a lot of people in my life who did not figure this out like you god bless you . I have 5 passions in life two of them i am benefitting from ,one of them is my carees and job the other two i had them with me and when i grew up i developed them and found new passions . The rest of your advices are very true thank you 👍. Please continue with more videos
Regarding "finding your passion", Cal Newport, author of "So Good They Can't Ignore You," says in his his book that this is terrible advice. He said you just need to find something you are interested enough in to put in ongoing effort to continuously improve at it. There are lots of things that fit this description for each of us, which means lots of potential career paths. While we might have lots of ideas of things we like, at some point, you need to pick one and commit to it. Give it the majority of your time and focus to develop mastery. At some point, you can revisit the others, but you don't want to be 50 and still trying to figure out which idea to be devoted and committed to.
Regarding the "work hard" life advice...I partially agree with you on this. I think having a strong work ethic will get you places in life that you wouldn't get without it. I think dismissing that hard work is an ingredient that leads to success risks a defeatist attitude and can cause people to not put in effort because they say, "Why bother...it doesn't matter anyway." So much in life happens with consistent, focused effort. Working 60, 80, 100 hour weeks isn't healthy for us or sustainable, long term, though. It might be necessary here or there...once or twice a year to meet a project's needs. There will be times in life that you go to heroic efforts and nobody will recognize your effort. There will be other times that you do some little thing that required little effort and you will get people clapping for you and get lots of visibility. This is part of that randomness you talked about. Also, be aware that others might recognize the good you are doing, but be unable to do anything about it. I manage a team and have a woman on my team that has visibly increased the level of her performance at work. I've submitted a request to promote her. I see she is doing a great job. My boss sees it, too. We want to recognize it. There is a "freeze on promotions" right now due to economic conditions. That won't last forever, but my hands are tied. I'm not allowed to tell her that I'm trying to get her promoted. At some point, this situation will change and I will promote her. Stuff like this may be at play in whether or not you are seeing the results from your efforts short term. I believe we all have advantages. Some of the poorest have advantages over the richest. I've seen it first hand. I tend not to spend much time thinking about others very much or the advantages and/or disadvantages of others. We are all different and trying to do the best with what we have. I'm not a very competitive person.
Kim: giving advice to people to work hard while what she does was just making money out of her body. What an inspiration.
Crazy how many people take her as a valid person.
Ms Filips, you have an extremely refreshing perspective on life that is a breath of fresh air compared to all of the recycled success advice that exists out there. So happy that you're so confident in offering what works for you. Not to be too dramatic, but it makes me really think about the fact that I may not be "defective" for not successfully following common advice. Maybe the advice itself is somewhat flawed. Sadly, this DOES mean I will have to follow my own instincts, even though my instincts have gotten me into trouble before... :)
Thank you, Liz! I love this video! I especially love the section about working hard doesn’t cut it. You’re right: the obsession with hard work is ridiculous and it’s cutting our lives out. This is a huge reason why I think America is such a socially isolated country. It really saddens me. We all have this idea of “yeah, I’ll have fun with you when I make it”…or “I would hang out with you but I want to pick up an extra shift” as if all that hustling will actually bring us further along and free us up later. It normally doesn’t. People usually run on that hamster wheel and waste their lives away until it runs them. Eventually we are working not because we want to “get ahead for later” but because we have nothing else to do. Our friends are all out working; we can’t meet up easily, so might as well pick up another shift. Horrible cycle. I did some learning about the happiest countries in the world and overtime was so incredibly rare there. If you told them you wanted to stay at work past 5 on Friday to “get ahead,” they’d be like, “What?” The concept is stupid to me now that I’ve wasted such a long time trying to get ahead with nothing coming from it but my Lyme Disease getting worse. Which is good because it has forced me to rest and recover from the incredible burnout. It’s very upsetting to me that the mindset you talk about is so pervasive. You will never enjoy what you have even when you attain what you think you want unless you enjoy what you have now when you don’t have what you think you want.
I agree that it's not just hard work, but I think If make my pie chart would look something like (just pulling this out of my ass):
10% - hard work
25% - unfair advantages
20% - self care (sleep, exercise, diet, reading, therapy etc.)
15% - mindset (growth or fixed, optimist or pessimist, etc.)
30% - blind luck
That said, I would put the "unfair advantages" under the blind luck category since we didn't decide to not be born as a crippled illiterate orphan in war-torn Syria.
And I don't think the percentages are fixed. In most cases, if you continue to work on yourself, then the more you put yourself out there, work hard, learn, and network, the "luckier" you become. At least you increase your odds by playing the game more and playing it smarter.
This is definitely something more along the lines of what I was thinking, although I'd argue it's even less of a blind luck and unfair advantage percentage, maybe this could just be my mindset, but I truly think that skill outweighs luck, because someone lucky may not always get lucky, someone skillful can always use their skill.
I cannot thank you enough. I am at a point where I suddenly have to make career decisions by myself and kind of " find my passion" and I couldn't find any but have tons of things I am interested/ curious in. I feel greatly validated and relieved. Thank you for being real
I love how you narrate things. It's quick and informative to the fullest! love you loads
jesus christ i thought for the longest time that there was something wrong with me bc i didn’t have a One Singular Passion. i don’t feel that way anymore, but learning to let go of the “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” bullshit and figuring out what i needed to leave exclusively as a hobby vs an interest i could monetise has been VASTLY more helpful than throwing all my hobbies at the proverbial wall to see what stuck 😅
At least someone tells the truth. I wish I knew this 7 years ago. Thank you, Elizabeth! Great video 👍
omg you're soooooo right!! that part when you said how are you supposed to figure out waht you like all of a sudden.. i feel you so much there. I was also always told what to do and never given the opportunity to take responsability for myself and discover my interests... i fell like society puts so much pressure on high school sutdents to figure out how they wanna spend the rest of their lives at a moment in their life and evolution when litterally anything looks (and psychologically speaking is) far more important to them than choosing a career path .... it's madness. thank you so much for sharing your bold but true opinions!!!
My results piechart would look more like this:
20% work
30% luck
50% your parents socioeconomic background
I think it’s kind of hard to totally accurately represent it as a pie chart or percentage, because it’s almost more of an equation. Like if someone has the socioeconomic advantages, whatever work they do put in pays higher dividends. That’s what I always think when the very wealthy balk at being told “they didn’t work for it,” I think well I believe you worked hard, but having that work pay off is a function of privilege.
@@JC-yy8iv I completely agree, a pie chart is an oversimplification, and like many things is just a view of the mind. things are always more complicated than what graphical visualisation make them look like
I am so happy that I find sb have the similar mindset as I do. Everyone is different, most successful experience has little value as a reference. And yet, when you are telling this fact, people love to say you are having rescue for your failure/you are negative. Telling the FACT in a more SCIENTIFIC way has nothing do with negative emotions. Pointing a finger on sb without knowing their situation and say they are bad DO create negative effects and negative emotions.
I hope that we could keep us humble and will not be affected by those unrealistic mindset.
"how am i going to learn to do what i like when I've never been allowed to do this before?" i think i laughed a little. as someone from an asian household, that hit too close to home
I am so glad someone finally talked about people like us . I was struggling so much in school to find my passion . I could do so many thing but I was not passionate enough to purse them as a career even now in college it's the same . No one assure us as students that it's okay to not find one particular passion . I am really grateful to you . Thankyou so much
15:16 , I never resonated with anyone this much 😂😂. Regardless just realising how my mind is just too rigid , I need to broaden my perspective a lot more. Great video as always . Much love 💜😍
Finding your passion to be happy, seems to make a lot of sense. I am in my 40s and am still exploring careers. Now I am in school for Early Childhood Education as I have loved doing children’s programs for the last ten years. I am doing my placement in a Childcare Center and I am imagining students dropping out. I feel comfortable there and not what I thought it would be.
Lots of people supported me when I was doing the children’s programs. Now I am doing the rough work to figure out where I belong. Maybe there are just some parts of joy I get and not most of my day. Still, there are hobbies.
Slow down Gilmore girl! You don't find your passion, your passion finds you. I didn't discover mine till this year and I'm 49.
I find this very true, Elizabeth. Because I remember doing all of this, I gave my 101% dedication to my past examination, Worked so hard, yet the exam turned out to be really hard. How are you supposed to be passionate when you work like hell? I gave up my obsession with that exam, and I chose what I really loved to do in this exam, Science. Physics is a little bit tough, but I try my best, but not to overkill myself in the process. Our tutoring teachers have been very helpful too.
By the way, I can see you're a real mature person and I'm glad to have such good advice similar to the ones my parents give me. 😘🥰💖💝
Interesting! I'm half in agreement, but some thoughts:
1. Re: Work hard/random luck: I don't think that "luck" is all that random. Sometimes it is, because opportunities can appear at random, and certainly some people are simply born in the wrong era for what they're interested in (particularly arts, at times), but working "hard", and most importantly *persistently* , opens you up to greater potential for both encountering those opportunities and also better equips you at being able to jump on those opportunities. This isn't to say you're incorrect, but I disagree that 80% of success simply amounts to randomness aside from willingness and ability to seize hold of opportunities.
2. "Thick skin" -- I don't think this means you're insensitive to what gets thrown at you and simply ignoring it (certainly not what Peterson means), I think it means a willingness to swallow the insults and offense life throws at you and to continue being *persistent* . In essence, it's resilience, not insensitivity. Strong "core" is a good way of thinking about it.
3. Passion -- Good points. Passions tend to make themselves known with life experience and trying things out. i think a better word than "happiness" is "fulfillment". Often the most fulfilling things aren't the most fun, but they are the most rewarding.
“Luck Is What Happens When Preparation Meets Opportunity" - Seneca
I work hard so that I can be prepared when an opportunity comes my way. I also try to be where opportunity may be.