A M. Don’t put words in my mouth. If you knew how to read between the lines, then it would be obvious that my meaning was/is feeling sickened by the way people in this day and age are pressured into labeling themselves. Fuck outta here with your straw man bullshit.
honestly I can't remember a time ever where I heard bisexual be defined as exclusionary at all... then pan came around and it became not that abnormal to here people define it in some fashion as "pan includes ALL genders, like trans..nb..." yup, not cool.
@@lillian4410 cool, that's valid! try not to put too much thought into people pulling out each others hairs in anger over minor details, whatever label works for you is great because only you truly know yourself. even if the way you label your sexuality changes later in life, most people will understand and continue accepting you the way you are.
I think the differing labels bother me a tad, because as a bisexual myself, it bothers me when people say "I don't want people to get the wrong idea". That's literally what bisexuals have been fighting for. To get equal recognition as gay and straight, but also that we're inclusive. By saying "I identify as pan, because people think bi is exclusionary". You're helping perpetuate that narrative and throwing the rest of us under the bus.
I highly agree as a bisexual myself. Instead of accepting a term to distance oneself from the word "bi" in bisexual, just because it looks/sounds like it is only liking the binary, educating people what bisexuality actually means would be better. At the surface, the term pansexual makes sense because they genuinely don't care about people's parts. Same goes for Omnisexial because they do consider parts... but pan/omni just sound like subgroups of bisexuality. Because isn't bisexuality all about liking the binary OR more? Either having precise restrictions OR not having anything at all? Pan/Omnisexual just sound like labels made so that people don't have to explain to ignorant people as to who they are. But all at the cost of only making bisexuals look as if they're only "half gay and half straight", only liking the binary... I understand if people want to choose pan/omnisexual to describe sexuality, but don't use it as a way to make bisexuality more misunderstood than it already is because you don't want to explain yourself to outsiders. Saying "I don't want to give that impression that I only like the binary, so that's why I use pan/omnisexual" isn't valid because you are still more likely to explain yourself to people outside the community, regardless of choosing either label... If not more for pan/omni.
What bothers me is that everyone under those labels could share the same exes! We are all individuals, so OF COURSE, we feel attraction differently, even straight people do! So, can we really say that there are clear boundaries then?
See, I feel like the fact that there's a set of different terms at all would do more harm than good. I say I'm pan but I still can't tell what I am because there's next to no distinction between the four, and whenever I do find distinction between them I find another source saying that it doesn't apply. It's welcoming that there are so few rules but that also means there's nearly no structure, and an identity needs structure, at least I do. I can't identify, I just AM, but I don't know what I am. I'm autistic too, and they've done away with the distinctions in there. Terms like high and low functioning were axed because then people began to see high functioning people like they're not even autistic and low functioning like they're sub-human, it only divided people. It's a spectrum, you only need one title because by definition all cases are different. I don't see why there isn't just one term for all four in Bi, Pan, Poly, and Omni, and then it could just be accepted that the finer details vary from case to case.
Is being "exclusionary" a bad thing when it comes to sexual orientations? If so, does that mean being a gay man is bad because it excludes women, or being a lesbian is bad because it excludes men?
Yay!! I hate that people make me seem to be transphobic by identifying as bi but honestly it's just easier and I've found that people tend to not make a big deal of it (which is what I want. I dont want my sexuality to be something that turns into a spectacle whether for good or bad reasons.)
But others have called me transphobic because I identify as pansexual lol. Tho I suppose if I take luxanders definition I'd be Omni at least some of the time
Not being sexually attracted to genders other than male or female does not make you transphobic! But of course, if by bisexual you mean that you are attracted to more than two genders, well you are mistaken. Bi means two!
Why have all these labels? Especially when it sounds like labels not only initially express what you are but cause people to focus on what you aren’t. It’s like saying “I love winter” and everyone gives you a look and calls you anti-summer. Makes me feel like cattle separated into pens by our color or spots.
@@Zazamond You Know I Hate When People Think Pansexuals Are Attracted To Pans, As In The Cooking Thing, When It Obviously Means They're Attracted To The Greek God Pan. I'm Not Gonna Lie, Pan Is Kinda Hot.
If I may use simple food metaphors to help me understand this-- Bisexual is the broadest umbrella term. I like my local cuisine, and I also generically like cuisine from other countries. Pansexual means I like food. All food. Omnisexual means I like Italian food because I like pasta in tomato-basil sauce, and I like Japanese food because I like sushi and tempura, and I like Mexican food because I like tacos, and I like Middle Eastern food because I like hummus and baba ganouj, and I like Greek food because I like stuffed grape leaves, and I like Indian food because I like palak paneer, and ... Polysexual means I might like just burritos and stir-fry, or it might mean I just like hamburgers, bibimbap, and fettuccine alfredo, or it might mean I just like hot dogs, pizza, and lutefisk, or ... Is that about right?
but the omni one makes it seem like pansexuals dont like all the parts/genders too lol it takes the ''regardless' too literal when it is an attraction still thats the whole point.. that u like them all
Hearts not parts actually sounds much more like a quote for romantic asexuals. That makes more sense to me. I am panromantic asexual and this is always how I’ve explained it to people when they ask. edit: Wow I haven’t been here in a long time. Thanks for all the likes and replies. Unfortunately I have to disappoint you guys. Since posting this I’ve grown a lot and I now identify as a bisexual trans man. I want all you aces to know that you’re valid, you deserve love and you belong in the LGBT community. Hope you guys have a wonderful pride month.
I asked if my friend was asexual as a joke and now I know something I didn’t know, he’s asexual. And can I get some clarification, an you be pansexual and asexual at the same time?
I love this, I tend to think of the term "Bi" as focusing on the history of people who are "attracted to same and different genders" and all of the struggles that went into getting that identity acknowledged. I think of Pan, Omni, Poly as focusing on the present and future struggles involved in expanding the concept of gender and "attracted to all genders".
ugh its like every couple generations someone has to change terms and label people. The way hippies gave way to ravers and goths gave way to emos and bisexuals now give way to pansexuals. Why label anything and just let people be. I came out Bisexual and to have someone tell me that it means something else now because people decided so and the new pansexual is the same yet different is just a joke. I wonder if in 25 years someone will sit the pansexuals down and explain that it means something else then what they have always identified as and now there is a new kind of sexual which means basically the same thing but yet is totally different. I wonder how it will make them feel to think they had a clear coming out and realizing who they were moment only to find the news kids in town have re-defined it and oh btw there is something else new blah blah blah. Annoying.
As a bi from the 90s I feel so outdated bc I have such a hard time with all these new titles. Too me it’s still somewhat hard to distinguish. I don’t ever wanna invalidate someone’s feelings. I truly struggle in seeing the importance of making more categories. I guess I like the more simple times.
That is something I don’t get, as someone who is bi, I consider pansexual people to be my cousins lol. I mean the lgbtq+ community is a family after all at least in my point of view lol
I'm bi and I don't hate pansexuals, u are valid, just know the history of your sexuality, it is created in 2002 out of misunderstanding, go read the bisexual manifesto written in 1990, bi's have always liked all the genders
I've gone through both labels in my life , but I've realised, I feel most comfortable being labeless and just go with life and love, wherever it takes me
A really beautiful thing honestly, I do the same thing and let it take me wherever it wants to, happy you too let go of attaching to an identity of gender.
Lol, similar. I’ve go through both of the sexuality before I switched. Its took quite sometime to think about it, but I decided to use the term Pan cause its fit me more
It made me overly happy when you verbally explained the meme you were showing, my stream of consciousness wasn’t ready for that level of accessibility, that was really cool amfjdydjfig
Thank you for describing to people how bisexual is more of an umbrella term. Biphobia and bi-erasure is a real thing and it doesn't just effect bisexual people but pansexuals/polysexuals/omnisexuals aswell since the stereotypes are against anyone not strictly gay or heterosexual. We're treated as too much of a minority in the community to be divided. As for me personally as a bigender/non-binary person (still can't make up my mind on it my feelings change on this daily) who is typically more attracted to androgynous people I just typically laugh when I think of narrowing my sexual preferences into a identity because I would basically have to make my own. Which tbh, doesn't seem right because to some degree we as human beings all have our own preferences in some regard and I think we should be united on the fact that we aren't attracted to solely one gender identity and respect all the confusion that comes with that.
"Which tbh, doesn't seem right because to some degree we as human beings all have our own preferences in some regard " true, notice how the -sexual labels typically are conveying gender/gender-identity preferences which isn't inherent in -sexual It, for insatnce completely disregards the zoophillia and objectophillia communities and individuals
@Mauritia Mayer that does sound like a complex question. I recently came across the term skoliosexual, and it sounds like that may be what you're describing. I think the term is relatively new and still evolving, but If I understand correctly, it refers to an attraction to nonbinary and possibly other GNC people. I really don't know much about it, but it could be something to look into: genderqueerid.com/post/16339992032/skoliosexual-adj
Thank you for this. My son came out to me as pan and I want to know all that I can to be supportive and knowledgeable. I'm proud of him for being open and honest at such a young age :)
It's subtle, and neither is transphobic, but as I understand it~: Bi - more that one gender / both ends of the spectrum Pan - gender/sex is not a factor Somewhat complicated by infrequently used "polysexuality", being attraction to more than one but not all genders. Looking forward to your take.
You understand wrong! You should look up the etymology of those words : 1. The Latin prefix "bi" means "two". Therefore, "bisexual" means "sexually attracted to two genders". 2. The Greek prefix "pan" means "all". Therefore, "pansexual" means "sexually attracted to all genders". 3. The Greek-derived prefix "poly" means "most" or "a large number of". Therefore, "polysexual" means "sexually attracted to most genders". Now we can apply some logic to the debate over their synonymity : A. If you argue that bisexual and pansexual have the same meaning, it also means that you believe there is only two genders. B. If you argue that bisexual and pansexual do not have the same meaning, it means that you believe there is more than two genders. C. If you argue that someone can be polysexual, it means that you believe there is more than two genders. The word that would fit the definition "sexually attracted to more than one gender" is "multisexual". However, since this word could as much be interpreted as representing the ideology that there is only two genders than representing the ideology that there is more than two genders, one could use the word "plurisexual". Since "pluri" means "several" or "more than two, but less than half", it presuppose that there are more than two genders. Anyways, all this is way too complicated to be understood by all (not only because some of them are too stupid, but because most do not value the time necessary to it's understanding as worth spending on it). Therefore, I believe that it's easier and better to just be your self and describe to people who you are.
@@nic12344 Although, you could be bisexual, but believe in multiple genders. I am bisexual and I don't think it is possible to be a "third gender" at the moment at least (you can identify as one, but that doesn't mean that you are), until the future when technology might be able to create a "third gender" with characteristics and traits separate and unique from male and female.
I’m sorry. *Some* pans are biphobic - the ones who declare that Bis *only* like men and women and not non-binary people, and that if you like non-binary people you’re pan, and don’t accept that Pan is an identity under the Bi umbrella, and that most Bis *are* attracted to all genders. So then some Bi people think Pan is always biphobic because of that. But most Pans are how he explained in the video, that the distinction of gender not mattering is important to how they identify, so they specify that they’re Pan. And there’s *nothing* wrong with that, it’s not biphobic and it’s completely valid.
@Vincent Smith Right, the prefix bi originally came from the meaning two - the idea of non-binary people wasn’t well known when the term was coined; in fact, “gender” itself was almost solely an academic concept rather than something people talked about in everyday life. But since then the definition of bisexual has been clarified to mean attraction to more than one gender (see the bisexual manifesto, written in 1990). Bisexuals who are only attracted to male and female are obviously valid! But they aren’t the only ones who fall under the label “bisexual”. Here’s a great article about it! www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1240832
Thank you Luxander! It's nice to hear someone talk about this without being overly rightious or political. You're very careful and gentle in your phrasing and you sound like a genuine nice person. You talk about all of this in An almost business-like, clear and easy to understand way, without any judgement or raised-fist-for-what's-right-vibe. This is very refreshing. I also very much like your voice.
I like Queer as a general term but some people get offended by that. I think I have used most those terms. I don't know what fits. Mostly for me is Ill know if I'm attracted to you once I'm in the situation.
@@belkyhernandez8281 But what does it mean to call yourself queer now? I'm 52 so it's a different generation. My older brother was gay. He passed away. I hung out with him and his friends and being called queer was a mean thing. It was definitely meant as an insult and until recently, I thought it still was but now it has been added to LGBT so it's confusing. I guess I just want to understand people better.
@@angiev1840 from what I understand, queer now just means not heteronormative. So it's probably like the biggest umbrella term that covers being trans, gay, bi, non binary, etc. I used to like Queer more, especially since it's so broad, but I was using bi, because other terms were just not understood by most of my interlocutors. Now I just got used to it and I identify as bi.
If anyone thinks I'm wrong, feel free to tell me, but I suspect that all of these terms - and L,G&T - are embraced by some people who would say they are not queer.
I have a Bisexual friend who REALLY hates Pansexuals and Lesbians- I came out to her as Pansexual- We aint friends no more- Edit: I realized I was bisexual and I told my friend (that friend is friends with the friend in this comment) and so he told her that I was bisexual and now shes trying to become friends with me again💀
My problem 'with hearts, not parts' is the hidden implication that people of other sexualities are hyperfocused/obsessed with the genitalia of their partner and don't care for the character of the person they are attracted to. Also a lot of pan folks kinda make their definition sound like yeah I'm pan cause I would also date trans people, like straight/gay/bi people don't date trans people?? Especially like saying you're pan and not bi bc of trans people, is very biphobic and of course transphobic, as this kinda conveys the message that trans men and women aren't men and women. What they mostly mean are nb folks, but I have yet to met a bi person opposed to dating someone nonbinary. But overall my biggest problem with the label kinda is that it was first invented by Siegmund Freud so toddles (sry English is not my first language)
"What they mostly mean are nb folks" yes, and non-binary people are almost by definition trans. "I have yet to met a bi person opposed to dating someone nonbinary" type into youtube something like "pansexual biphobia" and you'll find your fill of transphobic (in that they won't date binary trans men and women) bisexual people that won't date non-binary people either.
Espurr Fitzroy Yeah but most definition I've heard (especially in RL) are like yeah it means men and women AND trans people, like yeah there are nb people but trans men and women aren't a whole ass new gender, so my problem often times is the rather thoughtless wording and the lack of the necessary vocabulary to even define the label they assigned themselves to. I would never claim that there are no transphobic/nb-phobic (?) bi people, just the ones I personally know and often times the mentality and community one encounters in rl, just differs from the one online. But even online I rarely find an definition of pansexual, that made me go 'ah I get it', so I'm really open to a definition that doesn't imply that only pansexuals look for the heart/character of a person. Greetings
@@melima_ okay, well, pan means all, so if we're gonna get technical, it means _all_ genders. which includes men, women, and people that do not fit into the gender binary, ie non-binary people, aka a subset of people that are trans (people that do not identify as the gender they were assigned at birth because there are no non-binary genders assigned). Yeah, i guess "hearts, not parts" sounds a little condescending, but the implication is that pan people are attracted to other people _in spite_ of their gender. that gender makes no difference. I don't know where one draws (or if one _can_ draw) the line between being attracted to people in spite of gender, or being attracted to every single last gender. and i really am sorry that it sounds condescending (i'm bi/pan) but people of monosexualities really are taking into account gender, are they not? not saying that, for example, a person attracted to women would date _any_ woman. obviously character matters a lot. but it _does_ have to be a woman, doesn't it?
This is very true and I agree with you completely. But you should keep in mind only a few years ago Bi was a trans exclusionary term, so now people in the present are adjusting to new definitions and adjusting their own definitions for these words and how they choose to identify themselves.
I guess you have a name. Technically that's a word and it perfectly describes you. No more words needed :) Don't try to fit yourself into some rigid labels. You just can't capture the whole of human experience into words.
A lot of people use labels not cause they obsess over them, but rather we use them to help us connect to similar people. So that we feel less discriminated against and alone.
@@uneasyanduncertain Do you think it also helps people understand themselves maybe? Like, if I can define my sexual identity, I will understand myself better and I think that is a good thing if it helps someone. Just a thought.
Idk exactly why there needs to be so many different labels, but I’m bisexual, not pansexual. I don’t need my label to be inclusive of nonbinary people because, so far as I’m aware, I’m not particularly attracted to all genders. That’s not transphobic, but people act like it is. Just because I’m attracted to both men and women does not mean I should be attracted to everyone. There’s unnecessary pressure for bisexuals to be pan. I don’t know if I like intersex people. I have never been attracted to intersex people before. Just because I like more than one sex/gender does not mean I need to be attracted to all bodies and genders... so the distinction between bi and pan is important to me. People don’t say to straight men “Why aren’t you attracted to men? That’s so exclusionary!”, but my bisexuality is deemed exclusionary🙄🙄 I’m not invalidating other people’s gender or other people’s bodies just because I don’t want to have sex with them. The biphobia in the LGBT community rn is problematic... *I may find out one day that I am attracted to more than just men and women, but I don’t have any experiences for that, and there’s nothing wrong with liking just men and women*
I was honestly so confused if I was bi or pan because, to me, it doesn’t matter if you’re non-binary or intersex and I thought that being bisexual only meant that you like exclusively men and women so for the longest time i was like ??????? but now I know, so thank you for your explanation :) 💜💜
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I am in a relationship with a pan person, i'm bi. And people at my school say bi and pan people don't exist. I guess me and her don't exis (We broke up last year) (I'm also pan and not bi)
Honestly I’m so thankful for this. I’m a bland straight cisgender male and I tend to get confused with all these new words that feel almost thrown around because I’m not up to date with the LGBTQ+ community. So I’m glad that I now know what the difference between these are to an extent
Dude shut the fuuuuccckkk up about biphobia holy shit *edited to add: Biphobia does exist in the world! However, the existence of pansexual people, or any non-monosexual person choosing not to identify as bisexual, is not biphobic! Someone else's affirmative statement about their sexuality is not a condemnation of anyone else's, and it's not bi+ people's fault if cishets make shitty assumptions!
Is this an account hack? Edit: looking at all the comments under the comments it seems like people are using the pretense of "fighting biphobia" to bash pan/poly/omni people.
@@alicewater2003 As I said above, it appears that alot of people in the comments are using the pretense of attacking biphobia to attack pan people, omni people, polysexual people, and other microlables. I think that's what they are commenting about, basically telling these people off.
Luxander I must thank you a million times for explaining these terms to me. I'm a 62 year old lesbian who has been in education for the past 35 years and these new terms are confusing for me. I'm attracted to a woman who is pansexual and you have finally explained to me what that means. Thank you for your brave (in my day) presentation. Be well.
I identify as Bi. I have identified that way since the late 90s when I was in my late teens...yup I am old. I always just meant I was attracted to everyone. We used to say hearts not parts back then, meaning it doesn't matter what parts you happen to have if you are a good person I will probably be attracted to you. I knew no one who identified as "pan" I don't think that was a thing then, but I had Bi friends. I found out about 4 years ago that parts are indeed very important to me. I was dating someone who didn't like their parts involved... I am not a pillow princess!!! I like this term Omni sexual. Parts are indeed important, what ever they are! 🤣😍
this comment needs more love! Oldschool bis were saying pannie phrases like "regardless of gender" and "hearts not parts" from the 60s through the early naughts. I think people started using pan because, as Luxander said, people were confused and ignorant about where trans people "fit" in attraction models - they thought they needed to be distinguished from cis men and women. The nonbinary, agender, and genderfluid labels were in the olden days considered to fall under the trans umbrella. Bis have always been inclusive. There are literally only two sexes (with intersex people expressing traits of both sexes, as well as some trans people [which in no way negates their gender]). Ergo if you're attracted to both sexes, you are attracted to all genders. It was so simple then. If anything, the microlabels hone in on gender distinctions. As an OG bisexual, idgaf. Gender, any gender, is part of what makes a person lovable and sexy (or not).
@@rebeccaogle6207 Pansexual was created a long time ago. This isnt something recent that was made up because of Trans people. Do some research before saying stuff like this because its panphobic and untrue to the literal definition of what Pansexual is.
@@bionic_bat nah, you. 💗 People've used all kinds of prefixes throughout the 20th century, but pan- was popularized in the early naughts for the reasons I stated. I lived through it, and research validates what I lived through. It's ok to identify as either. The important thing is to recognize that trans men are men, trans women are women, and that gender can be fluid just like attraction. It's 2020 and I think bis and pans are on the same page in that regard. No one needs to erase anyone else's history or identifiers.
@@rebeccaogle6207 I agree with you and Kristina. Think there may be a generation gap thing going on here. The first use of bisexuality dates back to the 1800s (search Charles Gilbert Chaddock) and while the term pansexual dates to 1914 (search Sigmund Freud), it was not used in the way it is used now till the 60 or 70s. Growing up in the 90s nobody around me even knew what a pansexual was. And I remember Bis saying 'hearts not parts as well'. For what it's worth Kristyn, I, and by the sound of it other Bi people, lived through being told we were anti-trans for not being pansexual despite the fact that a significant part of the Bi community is attracted to trans people or ARE trans people. Regardless of what they say now, some people identifying as pansexual said the things Rebecca says they did. If you go to early LGBTQ forums on the internet, you can still find evidence of this. As a result some people, myself included, felt pressured to identify as pan to not be seen as insulting to trans people. Sense you brought up research Kristyn, here's a article from a few years back documenting a pansexual movement to separate from Bisexuals in support of trans or non-binary folks and how that kinda hurt the trans and non-binary community from the perspective of a trans person. everydayfeminism.com/2015/01/bi-vs-pan/ It has tones of links if you want to fact check it. I just googled pansexual and trans to check and you can also find images and memes by pansexual people about how they are pan in acknowledgement of trans people if you filter for older ones. What Rebecca is referring to was a real thing because some bi people, again myself included, did not distinguish between cis or trans when saying we like men and women. If you read all that, thank you. In any case, I respect however any of you decide to identify yourself. Can we all please stop fighting? We have more in common that we realize, and that goes for omnisexuals or polysexuals as well. Have a great day!
I am bi Some days I feel more feminine Other days I feel more masculine I am attracted to all genders regardless of their labels Regardless of their sexuality I would most definitely date a trans person Love should never be restricted ! To me love is love ! 💗💜💙
@@caffemocca8855 Nope! There’s actually a difference. Pansexual people love all genders and bisexuals love most! But remember, they are just labels! They are just words! Support anyone and everyone!
@@somebodysomeone453 The word sex is in them because if you're pansexual or bisexual, etc than you're sexually attracted to people. There's also panromantic, biromantic, etc which means that you're romantically attracted to people. They're called that to diffrentiate the meanings.
If you meant the same thing, they kind of are. I see them as synonyms for saying the same exact thing, but one may like how another word sounds better and thats fine.
This is why I don't label myself. When I first came out, I said "bisexual" simply because I had never been with a woman at that point, but I knew I was attracted to them. Then I said "lesbian" because I felt more and more attraction to women. Now though, I'm not actually sure what I would call myself. Recently, I've found myself being attracted to women. I do sometimes feel attraction for cis men, but it's purely intellectual and maybe romantic, but the idea of sex with them turns me off. Does that make sense to anyone? Anyway, now I usually just say "I like what I like".
@@suzannemenuet947 you're absolutely not crazy. I'm bisexual and homoromantic. So homosexual and biromantic is completely possible. It's called cross-orientation, where your romantic orientation and sexual orientation don't match.
Well, I'm not sure, I think it's still a really small minority that acknowledges all of these modern sexualities. For most people outside of the bubble, bi still means attracted to men+women.
@@megaaaaaaan1622 sammme like based on who I'm attracted to, I should be considered pan but identifying as bi is more fitting to me so ✨i dont really knowww✨
I've identified as bisexual for years but someone brought the question of bi vs pan today and I realized I hadn't really considered it. This is a really well done explanation, and I appreciate that you took the time to create it. It also gave me something to mull over as I may actually be omni more than bi.
I’ve been told literally word for word that “bisexuality is the attraction to two or more genders” and now y’all giving that exact definition to polysexuality while claiming it’s different. Make it make sense beloved!
These new LGBT "activists and educators" are only focused on creating new labels to further divide us. How can everyone be special if there are only a 3-4 ways to describe your sexuality? Let's create 10 news labels to describe different degrees of bisexuality, so people can feel more special, and we dont have to associate with the negative bisexual stereotypes. Because thats all that this is. People want to be bisexual without having to say they are bisexual. Regressive identity politics at its finest.
Ray03595 BIBLE!!! Something that infuriates me these days is that these micro labels are assigning cookie cutter molds to sexuality AKA the most fluid and nuanced thing ever. What’s even more infuriating about the influx of micro labeling is that the definitions often overlap because they’re based on said nuances, rather than something concrete like homosexuality or heterosexuality. For example, people like to differentiate between bisexuality and pansexuality by claiming that pansexual people’s attraction isn’t affected by gender....Like that’s literally bisexuality. I identify as bisexual because that’s how I function.
polysexuality falls under bisexuality. some bisexuals like all genders and some don’t, those who don’t like all genders can identify as polysexuality. they’re not the same, but they’re related.
@@petitechiroptera1347 I’m pretty sure people identifying with the label of polysexual because they didn’t feel comfortable with bisexual. The main reason for this that I’ve seen is because bisexuality is often times associated with the gender binary. Obviously bisexuality is not exclusive to men and women, it’s two or more, but because it’s so often associated with liking both men and women (not necessarily exclusively), some people who don’t like both men and women but still like two genders may not feel like their sexuality is properly represented by that label. Often times people who identify as polysexual may like women and non-binary (basically anybody outside of the gender binary) or men and non-binary. Technically they could identify as bisexual but they don’t like to because they don’t feel like it fits them properly and that’s okay. An important part of finding your sexuality is finding one that represents and feels comfortable for you. As you said sexuality is very fluid and people experience it in different ways.
@@tylaho5935 because it doesnt fit for all people , remember that we also cop the same shit from Monosexuals , "just pick a side" ... im proud to be Bi+ but im also a fierce ally of non monsexuals as well
@@AntAciieed There's no real reason for it to not "fit" other people other than them feeling uncomfortable being called bi due to the stigma. Most reasons that pan is claimed to be different to bi aren't even accurate and tend to be biphobic/transphobic. Let's not go against monosexuals though, we don't need to pit against other LGBT people.
Here's my take on it as someone who identifies as bisexual. I feel like pansexual people are equally attracted to any gender while I personally feel that as a bisexual person I can't say the same, because i'm attracted to different genders for different reasons.
@@superlouis3333 But at that point, it isn't necessary to have a separate label, since sexualities just mean who you are attracted to and bisexuality would already cover that. Plus, a lot of bi people don't have a preference whereas many pan people claim to.
My kiddo recently confided to me that he identifies as pansexual. I'm an older parent, who has always classified things within the older common-definitions of the LGBTQ+ community. Though I identify as a straight cisgender male, I consider myself an LGBTQAI+ ally. Admittedly, there are now more distinct and evolving nuances that I haven't followed, but I'm trying to remove my own obstacles to grow a better understanding to be a more evolved ally. Your video definitely helped me to understand a little more because I was stuck in the cyclical thinking of "he identifies as pansexual, but he's really meaning bisexual." The moment you said, "Hearts, not parts", I got it, even if you've evolved beyond that ... or said that for you, parts matter. I don't think my kiddo is quite there yet with the parts (as far as I know), but he's definitely there with the hearts. Thank you for this video. It was very insightful. I have a lot more to learn so I can be as supportive to my son and the overall community. I just want you to know that what you're doing does is meaningful and has helpful impact.
I heavily identify as bisexual, but because of my own particular definition of it. (Being genderfluid; identifying bisexuality as 'my own gender' and 'another gender' can't really fit when I literally cycle the whole gender spectrum). Instead I identify as bisexual not because of love for men and women (cis, trans, or otherwise) but for an attraction to masculinity and femininity. Regardless of what gender a person identifies, or where they are on sort of the spectrum of masculine to feminine, if someone's presenting a lot of masculine and/or feminine traits, I'm all for it! It's only when I meet someone who is leaning towards the more non-gender side of androgyny where they don't really show much of either that the chemistry just isn't there, hence why pansexual never felt right. And I realize some of this is sort of culturally relative, but I've never found another explanation for it except bisexuality. Yeah, so that's just my perspective to muddy the waters a little more. Loved the video, and I'll definitely be looking more into omnisexual since that sounds like it might be a little closer to my particular relationship to my sexuality.
oh dang, your definition fits for me a lot too! except i find androgynous people very hot lol. I think for me I'm more attracted to femininity and androgeny? masculinity is nice, but not my favorite lol.
@@meowman69420 I think I'm the same! I really like people who are either very masculine, or very feminine, but also androgenous. I guess I'm just really attracted to extremes
Best explanation I’ve seen. The label bi really fits for me because I do find my attraction tends to center around how another person’s gender relates to mine, and the homo(same)sexual side feels distinct to me from the hetero(different)sexual side, but both modes of attraction can include gender fluid, trans, or non-binary attraction. I’m glad we have more precise language around this, because our inner worlds are complex and there’s something really gratifying about being able to clarify how we feel.
Thank you for making this! I'm not sure if I'm poly or pan but I don't like the label bi. Not because I think it's exclusionary but because I just don't think it describes me or the way I experience attraction very well. As much as some people dislike the saying, "hearts not parts" actually does a decent job of describing my feelings.
I'm bisexual. The "attracted to men and women and no-one outside of that" bisexual. It's all I've ever heard it explained as, tbh. But I've never thought of the nuances before: just been labeling anything beyond that as "possibly pansexual". Thank-you for expanding on it.❤️
I find this whole conversation so confusing. We love who we love and we call it whatever we want to call it. Why does anyone have to define it at all. Isn't that in itself problematic? Inherently by labeling something we are excluding something else. Let's just not judge each other, be kind to one another and live our lives.
Thanks for making this video! That's actually the reason that I never identified as pan and have always used bi despite the whole two genders debate around it. I never related to the "regardless of gender" part of the pan definition because gender is very important to me and definitely a factor in my attraction to people, even if there aren't necessarily genders I'm not attracted to. Glad to learn that there's another term for it!
i can't wait till the day people don't have to come out, and we don't even have to use labels. everyone just loves who they love and nobody gives a shit about whether it's "right" or not or whether it's "transphobic" or "biphobic" because we don't even need labels. we just love who we wanna love and there's no negativity or discrimination. why does it have to matter so much to everyone?
I don't get it...how? I identify as bi, I'm attracted to all genders whether its male, female, fluid, non-binary, cis, trans, etc. As Luxander described, pan is more like being attracted regardless of gender, while bisexual is still attracted to gender, however pansexual can still mean you're attracted to the person because of gender, too. Or is that omnisexual? Nothing they said here indicated there's "a lot" different, at all. It seems like there's a very subtle difference, and tbh it seems more like people can choose their 'label' simply because it feels right. It feels more natural to call myself bi, though i have in the past called myself pan. I'm attracted to other genders for different reasons, and while I will crush/like someone even before knowing their gender or regardless, it's still a part of them I'm attracted to. Can anyone explain how there's "a lot" different between pan and bi?
@@Mollydedog Yeah! That’s so strange to see people call it two VERY differently sexualities. They are basically the same, bc sexuality is to WHOM you’re attracted, not HOW. It’s just the history of pansexuality. People decided that there has to be transphobic and non transphobic label for the same sexuality. And I don’t mean that palsexuality isn’t valid, it is, but we must focus on our similarities, not differences. I mean, we don’t have another word for lesbians who love person regardless of their body or for hetero people. So it’s strange that such word was created for bi people. P.S. There’s two definitions of bi. One coming from lgbtq+ history and one from Moga( internet community). And people who define as pan/omni/poly/bi are all the same in the lgbtq+ and represented as B in the acronym. So a person can be both bi and pan at the same time. I believe, that pansexuality is just free of any negative connotations compared to bisexuality( filthy, never satisfied, traitorious)
So youtube has been recommending this video to me for a while but i have been avoiding it because the "multi-spec discourse" i've seen on tumblr is so vicious that reading the words "what's the difference between bi and pan?" now genuinely causes a stress response in me lmao like my heart starts beating faster and i can feel the adrenaline start rushing through my body, tumblr discourse is dangerous yall don't read it lol. But your take is level and nuanced and kind and i appreciate it, thank you. I go by bisexual because honestly it's always felt the most correct and familiar to me, i went by bi/pan for a while for clarity's sake but it always felt tacked on and forced. Now ive finally read enough bi history to know, that if someone claims i can't be bisexual and nonbinary at the same time, they just really don't know what the hell they are talking about and i am allowed to tell them that. But all these misconceptions make me concerned because misinformation has a tendency to spread, especially when it comes to identity terms that most people have only a vague concept of. I really don't mind people using another more specific term than bi but i hate it when people explain why they do that by giving an incorrect description of bisexuality and going "and im not like that", because there definitely are enough bad stereotypes about bisexuals as it is and we really do not need any more of them, especially not coming from people who ultimately belong under the same umbrella with us. Bisexuality is a fairly vague term and i gladly welcome more specific identities under the umbrella, some people like loose definitions and some like more specific ones and it's fine, ultimately we will always have way more in common than not. I just really wish people would get the memo faster and we could stop doing all this etymological nitpicking. Word definitions change and ultimately lived community history should always matter more anyway. Sorry for this novel, ive been having a mild breakdown over this for several months now, someone needs to stop me from reading tumblr discourse jfc
I know this commit won't reach the top. But I am so relaxed when you talk
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To be honest, this is just way too complicated. It is literally all the same. This is like hair splitting. Gay people are still gay but some might like twinks more, some bears, some strong men, some effeminate people. At the end, they are all the same. Gay. We could easily split those into hundreds different genders if we want. To be honest, it kind of feels like just extra hair splitting with the sole puropose of belonging to an smaller group and feeling more special because of that. The gender itself is an imaginary construct anyways. In terms of sex, you either are male, female or nothing of booth. The gender is basically just the term that describes how the person feels, not really what they are. Sure, it is fine if people want to split these things up. But the joke is that you can maby split the feeling of people to others, but not what they are. And even that is impossible because one can e.g say that the sex is 100% irrelevant, but it probably really isn't. It comes down to the person someone is in love with, not with the image one is falling in love in their head with. Between heterosexual and homosexual, the spectrum is infinitely big. There is no way to truly differentiate the genders. The biggest problem is that this is getting so confusing and out of hand, that it does more harm than it helps. People are getting really confused. We should make things simple, not complicated. At the end, I am bisexual. Probably a bit more attracted to men. Not really the strong or extremely masculine type but also not the opposite. But just bi. Anything between hetero and homo, regardless of "gender", sex, shape, color or whatever. Because at the end, itr comes down to the person I love, not to my imaginary depiction of my feelings. We should stop putting people into boxes. It is time to unbox. But maby this is just my opinion.
You are right to a point. But also the nuances that certain labels give help people understand themselves more and also help people talk to those that are similar. Maybe pansexuality comes under bisexuality. That means all pansexuals are bisexuals but all bisexuals are not pan, and this nuance is helpful for people to undertsand themselves. For other people, this nuance is not necessary..i gyess you belong to the latter
"These broadly overlap, but for som people the difference matter" -hanniball. I mean ur opinion can be anything but by putting it in the world like this you make pan, omni and poly people feel like their sexuality isnt real or valid. What is really damaging. If you dont wanna be pan, omni, poly or even bi or gay thats ok :). I know it's hard to understand for people that dont have specific sexualities to understand them, but the least you can do is make them feel welcome. Labels can matter allot to people, since they make it that people can understand eithother better. "Stop putting labels on everything" has been told to me allot as a autistic (amongst other things) person, and it kinda sucks. Knowing I have autism and having that label has helped me allot and therapy and with understanding myself overal :) same goes for my sexuality. I felt so lost and allone cus I knew I wasn't bi but I also didnt know what else I could be. Finding out was a big life saver and has helped me explain my feelings and thought process allot. Labels can be very good, they open up so many things about yourself that u never before knew how to explain. I dont expect you to ness understand this but I just wanted to leave it here, have a very nice day :)
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@@duck_onYouDuxk You are missunderstanding me. I wrote something different. I never put it in a way that would make it sound that some sexualities aren't real. That is solely your interpretation. Please don't put words into my mouth I never said. I don't like getting discredited. To the topic: The thing is that overlabeling isn't always the solution. Labels are helpful and are meant to show others what you are but creating a lable for everything that differntiates just by the smallest fraction from something else makes it convoluting and destroys the purpose of said labels. In fact, it makes everythign worse because people will now not understand your situation. If one casually asks how a rocket works, you can't explain him every single bolt and nut in a rocket and explain the entirety of the standard model in order for them to gasp how every chemical reaction inside a rocket works down to the quark. In best case, they will not understand you and in the worst case they will be annoyed by your convoluted label. Labels are good but you can't just use them everywhere. You have to use them in moderation and in the right situation. You can identify with 20 prefixes in front of friends that share your situation and will understand you but not with the vast majority of people which will not. For you in person, that label may be important, but for everybody else it often has no meaning. If one ask me about my sexuality, I say them that I am bi/gay , or that I like booth genders. I don't explain them every single feeling against different kinds of people I have since it will not help them understand my situation. The thing is that the vast majority couldn't care less about thoise details. I am me for my friends, family and everybody I know. And regardless if I am... hetero, gay, bi, lesbian, pansexual, nonbinary, transsexual, polysexual , allosexual, androsexual, asexual, birosexual, closeted, bicurious, autoromantic, cupiosexual, monosexual, non-libidoist asexual, omnisexual, queer, sex favourable, sapiosexual, spectrasexual, questioning, pomosexual, graysexual, fluid, demicomantic or whatever... I will stay me for those people. For them I will be gay or bi, regardless of how specific I label me. Because being bisexual already covers every label that comes deeper down. One can create as many labels as he wishes for himself. But at the end, a million labels doesen't matter if a handfull can describe everything percise enough that the differences of more wouldn't matter to anybody. Labels are there to easily describe things to others. They aren't meant to be explained. At the end, a label that sticks to me doesen't define my personality, but my personality defines my labels. Regardless of what I label me as, it doesen't make a difference for others in terms of who I am. Besides, prsonalities are so complicated that they can't be labeled easily. Nobody fits perfectly into a labels definition. We can either use primitive labels everybody understands or use none at all, which would be ideal. Creating more primitive sub labels that nobody understands isn't a good solution. Good day.
@@kiki28girl again this is a specific part of your experience, for you it is not helpful at all. For me it is , im the sort of person who likes to dissect and understand every single thing i feel and more labels help me with that, i feel more understood. The problem with people calling one label or the other transphobic is ridiculous even to me. And as long as people understand that they are all the same thing or they can mean different things to individual people there wouldnt have been such a debate. I feel bad that you feel your identity is being taken away from you. Fuck that, what you choose is yours. No one has the right to tell you you are pan if you identify with bisexuality. But thats the problem with people who say that, the label i believe can remain to be used when its necessary
Thanks a lot for making clear that bisexual is not transphobic 👍👍👍 I just like to use this term because it is more common than the other terms. By the way, I am very curious whether you are in relationship and what you think about polyamory. I know it is a very personal question and completely understand if you don't want to answer...
6:08 YES. EXACTLY. these are great definitions! you've basically just given my thoughts on everything in this video. if hetero is different and homo is same then it only makes sense that bi is different AND same (we're both, but our own separate identity!) also ive been seeing a lot of shit on labels, i just wanna say people are allowed to use labels if they want to but NOBODY is forcing you to. if labels are restrictive, literally just don't use them, and if it makes other people happy to label themselves, don't try to take that away from them! don't blame labels for your own poor decisions!
Bisexual is an umbrella term which pansexual, omnisexual and polysexual fall under. That's why they are similar but have little differences. The differences are small but still present. People use the terms that fall under the bisexuality umbrella because they want to be more specific. And there's nothing wrong with that. I personally identify as bi-demisexual because I feel like it describes me well and it isn't very specific. Some people like specific labels and some don't. That's perfectly valid. 💕
I’m pretty new to a lot of this. I knew I felt either bi or pan. after watching some other lgbtq+ stuff I was leaning heavily towards pan, and after this video I do agree with “hearts not parts”. parts matter to me but not parts that deal with gender. more just how attractive I find them. so thanks for this video it, definitely cleared my head and I learned a good amount.
When you said you id as pan I was afraid next would be something about bi meaning men and women or being transphobic but no, your definition was perfect! Edit: nothing against pan people, I love all people in our community, but having someone else define your sexuality is always a bit anxiety-inducing. So happy this was done well!
Thanx for this. ❤️ I’ve heard the term omnisexual but never really knew what it means. Now that I know the definition, it actually describes me the best. In written context I tend to label myself as bi/pan. When I speak to people about my sexuality the term bisexual has stuck. I think if I would start avoiding the term bi and using pansexual or omnisexual instead it would diminish the fact the term bisexual can be, and in my case is, inclusive.
I recently have come into questioning my sexuality again as I've been identifying as bi for about 18 years now but recently a comrade mentioned that pan might be a better description. This gave me a lot to consider. Thank you!
Honestly as someone who just enjoys listening to stuff like this and someone who used to question, this is really a great video to help me understand! I know that this information may greatly help me understand what the lgbt community goes through :> I really hope I can help out in the future! Looking forward to helping people when I become a psychologist in the future :) Thanks a ton for the video! Very informative and helpful ^-^
The issues I run into because im pan is that people consider it biphobic, but that's not what it is at all! Most of the time, people say it without realizing what pansexuality is. I also run into the issue of: 'Oh so it's just a preference to get to know someone first!', similarly to demisexual people. However, it's not really a preference per se. I like people regardless of gender, gender is irrelevant and I see them as mainly their personality and who they are as a person. It's not a preference, ironically, it's the absence of one
Honestly, this video clears so much. The only lgbtq+ people im close to tried to tell me that pansexuality or omnisexuality dont exist when i tried to ask for help. Thanks🥺❤
So it seems to me that Bisexual is an umbrella term that includes things like pansexual. So under that assumption Pan would be a more tailored version of Bi.
* If you want to scroll to what I learned about myself, it's the last line. Since I was a teen in the 1970s and was helped and for a very short time was seen by a therapist named Evelyn Hooker in Santa Monica CA. I have claimed gay male as an identity. That being said, many of us during that period based on what we were taught and our understanding of the Kinsey Scale (also called the Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale ... useless today actually.) I basically came out a 4 on this scale. It pretty much also was my experiential reality, especially early on as a teenager. Sadly, being "Bisexual" during this time period in the historic gay subculture of North Hollywood and San Francisco was seen as denial amongst young gay males of peoples true "gay self." So I conformed, ya know like people often do. * After watching your video a second time, I'd say actually I'm more a polysexual and would have identified as such over the last 44 years. Amazing.
Hey! I'm not the oldest one here! I moved to SF in 1993, and didn't even know what bisexual meant. I remember people saying that women could be bi (which at the time meant "until you settled down with a man") but that men couldn't. I also remember a lot of really dumb reasons for this being cited to me. I think a LOT of older bisexual men IDd as gay. I also know a lot of bi/pan women who partnered long term with women and took "lesbian" on as their identifier because of the biphobia in our community. The queer community has ALWAYS been great at fucking itself up. I am so glad we are getting better. I was taken to my first Spectrum meeting by a bi male friend of mine. Twenty whatever years later and we both still want all the parts. 🖤🖤🖤 I hate the erasure you have experienced. I have so much empathy. I'm 41 and STILL not positive what is compulsive heterosexuality and what is a lingering (if scant and only occasional) attraction for men. But I console myself that I am raising a child who doesn't have those restrictions placed on who she is and who she loves and who she eventually has sex with. I have always raised her as a queerspawn, inspite of her very cishet father....she knows how lesbians can have babies and that not everyone's heart matches the body they are born with (and she will tell you to believe trans folx because "it is your heart which matters, really") and that not everyone even wants to have sex or relationships. I mean, with my luck she will be the straightest cis-est most allosexual human ever....but she fecking loathes Trump so I've done one thing right. Solidarity, my friend.
@Alex Marrone I take no offense! I am old! It is easy to joke about it for me because A) I refuse to push forward the narrative of only young women being attractive and sexual, 2) hypocritical to that, most people think I am 10-15yrs younger than I am (my photo here is only a yearish old) and III) who gives a fuck? Anyway, my response was to both you and the OP. I hate that you had that experience at Pride...there is another YTer named TJ from the channel The Not Adam, he had a similar experience to you at a recent Pride. He was partnered to a man for something like 7ish years, and is now married to a woman. Anyway, he went from wearing something more anonymously Prideful to changing into a shirt proclaiming his bisexuality at a Pride in L.A. and said that the difference in the way he was received and treated was astonishing. Given the erasure and biphobia in the community coupled with the stigma on men about anything homosexuality related (which, pro tip, most experts in my field believe comes from plain ol misogyny, i.e. "how dare you give up your God Given male privilege and allow yourself to be debased as a woman!"), it makes NO SENSE why a man would lie about being anything other than monosexual. As a matter of fact I know a number of bi/pan/omni/poly men who married women and simply allow people to believe they are straight, or who partnered/married men and allow everyone to believe they are gay. I get why people think non-monosexual women are lying....I HATE it, but I get it. I knew literally dozens of women who claimed they were bi because the thought of two women together was so hot to men. Legit they said they had no interest in dating women, they would never fall in love with a woman, they would never EVER have sex with a woman, but they would act all flirty with their female friends because it got them attention from men. Now, I am really sex positive and a bit of an exhibitionist, so I GET the draw to being the object of lust - that can be a powerful motivator. But it shouldn't be a reason to usurp an identity. Ever. I also don't lay all the blame on women not being believed on the fakers, not by a long shot. I think more accurately, the majority of it comes from the fact that cishet men are socialized to be very much of the belief that women can't POSSIBLY have a drive for sex which doesn't involve one of them, and that all of the whole of women's sexuality is for their own consumptive pleasure. My heart breaks for your moms. I am not out at my daughter's school...it is weird especially with the moms I am friends with, but even now it scares me. I know we don't take kids away for the parents being queer anymore, but it still scares me a lot. Lovely "meeting" you, fam. 🌈🌈🌈🌈
@@Kimmaline thank you for sharing this! I experienced something similar in college (I went in 2006.) The term going around then was BUG (bi until graduation) or LUG (Lesbian until graduation.) I had a few women I saw for a week or a month, but we felt we could not really date unless we came out as lesbians and completely disregarded any male relationships we had prior. We couldn't just casually date both/either/any like the young ones these days seem to be able to. That being said, I know multiple people in their early 40's who are now coming out as bi who previously IDd as straight or gay. Also, people are finally calling people like Freddie Mercury or Frida Kahlo bisexual. I'm so glad things are getting better. My son is 3 and he is the most boyish boy who ever lived, but I will always let him know that I love him no matter how masculine/feminine he is or who he loves, as long as he's not an asshole.
Why would you say the Kinsey scale is not useful anymore? Otherwise, neat story! Thank you for sharing it 😉 I hope those negative experiences amongst it are (mostly) something of the past now and that the overal tendency around sexual orientation, identification and interaction is positive in the present and the future for you!
also for most bisexuals it doesn't mean one and another it means all genders but with some preferences, omni and bi have the exact same definition for most bisexuals to the point that for many people feel omni is biphobic as it's used to make sure people know you aren't trans or NB phobic which makes bi people feel like they are being called transphobic which we aren't
We used to always have to remind people that bi people are allowed to have preferences because they'd often assume if you do have preferences, you aren't actually bisexual. Now we have to remind people we don't need preferences to be bi. Its getting tiring.
a lot of the time having a defined label gives people a nice comfortable sense of self and belonging, it can also help people understand themselves better and find other people who identify the same way. Its also really nice to find something that fits you and be able to just go "Oh! That's me!" I hope you get what I mean.
I completely agree. LGBTQ literally could cover everything. Queer by itself could cover almost everything. I get that people want to identify themselves as something different than whatever came before. However, coming up with new labels every 10 sec just devides people more and more. We're all human, it's as simple as that, sexuality has an incredibly broad spectrum and where any given person falls on that spectrum is subject to change, even if only slightly. Identity politics causes discord even in a community that once stood for simply LOVE.
It's why many do not accompany pride parades anymore. Pride is an every day thing from the moment you wake up until the moment you rest your head. Now, the parade is just a cause for chaos even amongst the LGBTQ community. I hear all too often "He's gay but not really gay because he's not fem, flamboyant, or extra", "She's not butch and not a man hater and isn't a genuine lesbian" or " He was born a woman, made the transition to man, but since he identifies as a man instead of they, them, their, he's transphobic"...Where does it end? How can one call a transexual, transphobic? Lol
@@pamelalagos6552 That makes no sense as post-op trans are literally the opposite gender of what the were born as. You would not be able to tell the difference between a post-op trans woman and a naturally born woman. The same goes for men. Unless they told you, you'd never know.
Just accept yourself, but also remember (maybe you are making a statement to everyone what you are? Maybe not everyone needs to know the finer details of your life! Coming from a heterosexual Mom!) You don't have to be a label, just be You! :)
Did you ever think that it’s just not that important and people don’t have to care? These labels seem more like a cry for attention than anything sincere. Get in where you fit in. No one has to play along. Offending someone isn’t violence. Being offended won’t kill you. Work on loving yourself so you don’t need validity from others.
I am “one of those people” that are bisexual. I really don’t think bisexual is an umbrella term at all. I think queer is. I am not transphobic and I don’t hate or dislike people who are trans. But I am not attracted to trans people. AND THATS OK! You are allowed to like anyone who you want. I am bisexual and NOT pansexual.
Read the bi manifesto. Like it's said in the video, this word has a history and the way you use it personally doesn't apply the majority of bi people just because you decide it. Your valid, but don't invalidate others by misinforming.
Hi Luxander another good video Jimmy and I were in agreement that we were bi meaning male and female because of the era I grew up in but now consider ourselves pan because we are attracted to people who didn't identify as specifically make or female. I'm totally attracted to the person and not their gender and it was difficult being born in the 70s (all be it the late 70s) because almost nothing by straight cis was acceptable. I find it easier to say pan now for the reasons you vocalised. Another great video I'm really enjoying your content and it's nice for me to connect to people who understand where I come from in spite of my being from a "different" generation much love for you, Jimmy and all others in the community.
As a bi person myself, when I think about bisexual vs pansexual I feel like is pansexual very similar to bisexuality because it’s kind of like bisexuality except more specific. I like comparing it to squares and rectangles as an analogy. All squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares, all pansexuals fall under bisexual but not all bisexuals fall under pansexual. A rectangle is a shape with four sides and four right angles, a square is that same thing except with the addition of the fact that a squares sides are all equal. A square is just a more specific version of rectangle, it can be referred to as rectangle or a square. Bisexuality is widely defined as the attraction to two or more gender, pansexuality is the attraction to all genders regardless of gender (as states in the video). Given the definition of bisexuality, pansexuals are technically bisexual because they like two or more genders. BUT. Just because they can be considered bisexuals doesn’t mean they can’t identify as pan. It’s just like how we can call squares rectangles but we don’t because there’s a more specific term. Pansexuals can be called bisexual but prefer pansexual because it’s more specific to them. This can also go vice versa and apply to other non-monsexual sexualities as well. Just because you can technically identify as a certain sexuality doesn’t mean you have to, that’s your choice. I’m a bisexual that attracted to all genders and gender does play a role in my attraction. Technically, I could identify as omnisexual, but I choose not to because I prefer bisexual. In the end, don’t try to figure out other people’s sexualities for them and don’t let anybody else tell you your sexuality, it for you to decide.
This is so helpful. I thought I was bisexual my whole life and now my son made me realize I'm actually TOTALLY pansexual. It feels really freeing because I believe it really reflects how I truly feel. Thank you so much for this video!
I was banned from the Facebook page group called "Bisexual means regardless of gender." Long story short, I had mentioned on a post that I am bisexual and I also relate to being omnisexual. A member lashed out at me in a cruel way and said I was biphobic for being omni. The administrator agreed and banned me. I don't believe they speak for every bisexual person. I don't think that particular group was behaving professionally either. I would like your feedback please. Thanks.
I find it gets so confusing anymore. I thought I was bi. (I am male and like male and female ) but now I am confused again 🤔🤪 And I thought bi = men and women Pan = men, women, trans, everyone Haven’t heard of omni Wow so confusing.
Yeah it can be complicated but Bi still means attraction towards male&female, it is also used as an umbrella term since that word has been used for years for example someone might say that they're Bi even though they are attracted to multiple genders they just might of never heard of Pan or Omni or they're just more comfortable with that word.... These 3 sexualities do tend to overlap each other even though they have distinct meanings, the difference between Pan and Omni is that Pan is anyone regardless of their gender, while Omni is anyone yet gender still plays some sort of factor of their attraction towards someone. ↑↑ ↑↑ ↑↑ Welp this probably didn't help...
For me bi is the potential to be attracted, romanticalle and/or sexually to people of my own gender and different genders, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way and not necessarily to the same degree. (Robyn Ochs)
I hate the fact that we have to struggle with finding labels when it shouldn’t even matter. Even I who says this struggle with my identity because I just don’t know how to define or label it. And I think the hardest part is trying to let others know what your sexuality is. I don’t know what exactly to tell people if they ask me what my sexuality is because I don’t know which label would “fit” best. I’ve always said that I was bi but I still feel like pan, omni or poly would also work. I really hate this😭
![What Does "Nonbinary" MEAN? // What IS "Nonbinary" Gender? [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ZGQIrYlvrrs/mqdefault.jpg)
If you are bisexual? and single?
Honey you are bi-yourself
Lmao that hurts
give creds to the original :v
No offense-
No ur on stand Bi (I did not come up with this)
Lmao
I love how you said "For those of you who are just listening", this is very inclusive !
Yea I'm non bianary I'm happy she said that instead of hi boys and girls!
Tfw you're nonbinary but you still fuck up by assuming another nonbinary person is cis
@@MusingMossLmao
@@itzjj8381 *they*
@@GrianyBunch they
As a pansexual, I approve all jokes about pansexual people being attracted to pans.
Brock pan
yes
Expectable
@@elipse0 drying pan
And in my language... when you are attracted to "pots" you are lesbian ;)
I like who I like. My label is: I’m just being me.
SleepyPuddle 6
I feel the exact same way so I just went with pan cuz I was lazy and didn’t want to dwell on the topic
The Demon Lord Ghirahim
I wish people didn’t have to label themselves. Makes me sick.
A M.
Don’t put words in my mouth. If you knew how to read between the lines, then it would be obvious that my meaning was/is feeling sickened by the way people in this day and age are pressured into labeling themselves.
Fuck outta here with your straw man bullshit.
Oh I that I was the only one who thought that 😊
Exactly 😌
I have no problem with the microlables like pansexual. I have a problem with those who don't realize that bi is flexible.
honestly I can't remember a time ever where I heard bisexual be defined as exclusionary at all... then pan came around and it became not that abnormal to here people define it in some fashion as "pan includes ALL genders, like trans..nb..."
yup, not cool.
Pansexual isnt a micro label just letting ya know
It was a micro label but got so popular it made it it's own sexuality
I’m really young and I’m in confusing moment and I say I’m pansexuel
@@lillian4410 cool, that's valid! try not to put too much thought into people pulling out each others hairs in anger over minor details, whatever label works for you is great because only you truly know yourself. even if the way you label your sexuality changes later in life, most people will understand and continue accepting you the way you are.
I think the differing labels bother me a tad, because as a bisexual myself, it bothers me when people say "I don't want people to get the wrong idea".
That's literally what bisexuals have been fighting for. To get equal recognition as gay and straight, but also that we're inclusive. By saying "I identify as pan, because people think bi is exclusionary". You're helping perpetuate that narrative and throwing the rest of us under the bus.
I highly agree as a bisexual myself. Instead of accepting a term to distance oneself from the word "bi" in bisexual, just because it looks/sounds like it is only liking the binary, educating people what bisexuality actually means would be better.
At the surface, the term pansexual makes sense because they genuinely don't care about people's parts. Same goes for Omnisexial because they do consider parts... but pan/omni just sound like subgroups of bisexuality. Because isn't bisexuality all about liking the binary OR more? Either having precise restrictions OR not having anything at all? Pan/Omnisexual just sound like labels made so that people don't have to explain to ignorant people as to who they are. But all at the cost of only making bisexuals look as if they're only "half gay and half straight", only liking the binary...
I understand if people want to choose pan/omnisexual to describe sexuality, but don't use it as a way to make bisexuality more misunderstood than it already is because you don't want to explain yourself to outsiders. Saying "I don't want to give that impression that I only like the binary, so that's why I use pan/omnisexual" isn't valid because you are still more likely to explain yourself to people outside the community, regardless of choosing either label... If not more for pan/omni.
What bothers me is that everyone under those labels could share the same exes!
We are all individuals, so OF COURSE, we feel attraction differently, even straight people do!
So, can we really say that there are clear boundaries then?
See, I feel like the fact that there's a set of different terms at all would do more harm than good. I say I'm pan but I still can't tell what I am because there's next to no distinction between the four, and whenever I do find distinction between them I find another source saying that it doesn't apply. It's welcoming that there are so few rules but that also means there's nearly no structure, and an identity needs structure, at least I do. I can't identify, I just AM, but I don't know what I am. I'm autistic too, and they've done away with the distinctions in there. Terms like high and low functioning were axed because then people began to see high functioning people like they're not even autistic and low functioning like they're sub-human, it only divided people. It's a spectrum, you only need one title because by definition all cases are different. I don't see why there isn't just one term for all four in Bi, Pan, Poly, and Omni, and then it could just be accepted that the finer details vary from case to case.
@@rotor.ribbitI so much prefer the idea of bisexuality as the umbrella term and pansexuality as a part of that.
Is being "exclusionary" a bad thing when it comes to sexual orientations? If so, does that mean being a gay man is bad because it excludes women, or being a lesbian is bad because it excludes men?
Yay!! I hate that people make me seem to be transphobic by identifying as bi but honestly it's just easier and I've found that people tend to not make a big deal of it (which is what I want. I dont want my sexuality to be something that turns into a spectacle whether for good or bad reasons.)
But others have called me transphobic because I identify as pansexual lol. Tho I suppose if I take luxanders definition I'd be Omni at least some of the time
Not being sexually attracted to genders other than male or female does not make you transphobic!
But of course, if by bisexual you mean that you are attracted to more than two genders, well you are mistaken. Bi means two!
Why have all these labels? Especially when it sounds like labels not only initially express what you are but cause people to focus on what you aren’t. It’s like saying “I love winter” and everyone gives you a look and calls you anti-summer. Makes me feel like cattle separated into pens by our color or spots.
Jeff Hight I struggle with NB as a gender name. It states what someone is not. That’s like a gay person saying their are not straight.
those that gatekeep Bisexuals and call us transphobic are arseholes , pay them no mind , they are arsehats
Bisexuals come out of the closet Pansexuals come out of the pantry 😉
Or the cabinet where the pans are (no hate on pansexuals im am pansexual myself)
That what I tell my friends but they say no every one comes out of the pantry
@@Zazamond You Know I Hate When People Think Pansexuals Are Attracted To Pans, As In The Cooking Thing, When It Obviously Means They're Attracted To The Greek God Pan. I'm Not Gonna Lie, Pan Is Kinda Hot.
HAH
But what were they doing in that pantry?😂
A quote that describes the difference: "These broadly overlap but the distinction matters to some people, and that's okay" - Hannibal Buress
Put down the monster energy Astolfo. No one needs to get hurt here.
@@samuelforesta Come and get some ;)
If I may use simple food metaphors to help me understand this--
Bisexual is the broadest umbrella term. I like my local cuisine, and I also generically like cuisine from other countries.
Pansexual means I like food. All food.
Omnisexual means I like Italian food because I like pasta in tomato-basil sauce, and I like Japanese food because I like sushi and tempura, and I like Mexican food because I like tacos, and I like Middle Eastern food because I like hummus and baba ganouj, and I like Greek food because I like stuffed grape leaves, and I like Indian food because I like palak paneer, and ...
Polysexual means I might like just burritos and stir-fry, or it might mean I just like hamburgers, bibimbap, and fettuccine alfredo, or it might mean I just like hot dogs, pizza, and lutefisk, or ...
Is that about right?
i went from confusion to being hungry bi just reading this comment
👌
but the omni one makes it seem like pansexuals dont like all the parts/genders too lol it takes the ''regardless' too literal when it is an attraction still thats the whole point.. that u like them all
U just restated the same thing multiple times
This is a great explanation.
Hearts not parts actually sounds much more like a quote for romantic asexuals. That makes more sense to me. I am panromantic asexual and this is always how I’ve explained it to people when they ask. edit: Wow I haven’t been here in a long time. Thanks for all the likes and replies. Unfortunately I have to disappoint you guys. Since posting this I’ve grown a lot and I now identify as a bisexual trans man. I want all you aces to know that you’re valid, you deserve love and you belong in the LGBT community. Hope you guys have a wonderful pride month.
Omg an pan ace. I identity like u.
^-^ I'm panromantic and demiromantic
Im pansexual
OMG I'M PANROMANTIC ASEXUAL TO!!!! YES I FOUND SOMEONE!!!!!
I asked if my friend was asexual as a joke and now I know something I didn’t know, he’s asexual. And can I get some clarification, an you be pansexual and asexual at the same time?
I love this, I tend to think of the term "Bi" as focusing on the history of people who are "attracted to same and different genders" and all of the struggles that went into getting that identity acknowledged. I think of Pan, Omni, Poly as focusing on the present and future struggles involved in expanding the concept of gender and "attracted to all genders".
ugh its like every couple generations someone has to change terms and label people. The way hippies gave way to ravers and goths gave way to emos and bisexuals now give way to pansexuals. Why label anything and just let people be. I came out Bisexual and to have someone tell me that it means something else now because people decided so and the new pansexual is the same yet different is just a joke. I wonder if in 25 years someone will sit the pansexuals down and explain that it means something else then what they have always identified as and now there is a new kind of sexual which means basically the same thing but yet is totally different. I wonder how it will make them feel to think they had a clear coming out and realizing who they were moment only to find the news kids in town have re-defined it and oh btw there is something else new blah blah blah. Annoying.
As a bi from the 90s I feel so outdated bc I have such a hard time with all these new titles. Too me it’s still somewhat hard to distinguish. I don’t ever wanna invalidate someone’s feelings. I truly struggle in seeing the importance of making more categories. I guess I like the more simple times.
No I’m only attracted to males and females not intersex
My bi friend: *hates pansexuals*
me: *slowly backs into closet*
Ditch 👏 them 👏!
Honey im sorry but thats not a friend
Educate them! I was confused about the validity of it too, but then I got educated on the topic🥰
That is something I don’t get, as someone who is bi, I consider pansexual people to be my cousins lol. I mean the lgbtq+ community is a family after all at least in my point of view lol
I'm bi and I don't hate pansexuals, u are valid, just know the history of your sexuality, it is created in 2002 out of misunderstanding, go read the bisexual manifesto written in 1990, bi's have always liked all the genders
I've gone through both labels in my life , but I've realised, I feel most comfortable being labeless and just go with life and love, wherever it takes me
That is great!
A really beautiful thing honestly, I do the same thing and let it take me wherever it wants to, happy you too let go of attaching to an identity of gender.
I’m abro. It constantly changes and I can never stick with a sexuality.
Oh same. If anyone asks I'm just gonna say, I like people.
Lol, similar. I’ve go through both of the sexuality before I switched. Its took quite sometime to think about it, but I decided to use the term Pan cause its fit me more
I'm attracted to frying pans the smooth steel the cold touch
🤣
Don't overuse that joke
Steel? Dose that mean you are exclusionary towards cast iron?
The non stick ones 😫
Even if its overused I still laugh...
It made me overly happy when you verbally explained the meme you were showing, my stream of consciousness wasn’t ready for that level of accessibility, that was really cool amfjdydjfig
I'm usually really bad about stuff like this but I'm working on it
Usually it means "thinking out loud" but I think in this case it's referring to a stream of thoughts being disrupted by an unexpected stimulus
Thank you for describing to people how bisexual is more of an umbrella term. Biphobia and bi-erasure is a real thing and it doesn't just effect bisexual people but pansexuals/polysexuals/omnisexuals aswell since the stereotypes are against anyone not strictly gay or heterosexual. We're treated as too much of a minority in the community to be divided. As for me personally as a bigender/non-binary person (still can't make up my mind on it my feelings change on this daily) who is typically more attracted to androgynous people I just typically laugh when I think of narrowing my sexual preferences into a identity because I would basically have to make my own. Which tbh, doesn't seem right because to some degree we as human beings all have our own preferences in some regard and I think we should be united on the fact that we aren't attracted to solely one gender identity and respect all the confusion that comes with that.
"Which tbh, doesn't seem right because to some degree we as human beings all have our own preferences in some regard "
true, notice how the -sexual labels typically are conveying gender/gender-identity preferences which isn't inherent in -sexual
It, for insatnce completely disregards the zoophillia and objectophillia communities and individuals
I really need a TL;DR.
@Mauritia Mayer that does sound like a complex question. I recently came across the term skoliosexual, and it sounds like that may be what you're describing. I think the term is relatively new and still evolving, but If I understand correctly, it refers to an attraction to nonbinary and possibly other GNC people. I really don't know much about it, but it could be something to look into: genderqueerid.com/post/16339992032/skoliosexual-adj
Thank you for this. My son came out to me as pan and I want to know all that I can to be supportive and knowledgeable. I'm proud of him for being open and honest at such a young age :)
I wish my dad is like you
@@SNSTR-ww6fd I wish you all the joy, happiness and love you deserve. Love is love is love. Be who you are. Be proud.
you're such a great parent
Parenting is about just that, parenting. Not being friends. And you never mentioned the child age. 5 or 15, huge difference.
God bless you, your son is so lucky to have you.
It's subtle, and neither is transphobic, but as I understand it~:
Bi - more that one gender / both ends of the spectrum
Pan - gender/sex is not a factor
Somewhat complicated by infrequently used "polysexuality", being attraction to more than one but not all genders.
Looking forward to your take.
There is also omnisexual-all genders with gender being a factor.
You understand wrong!
You should look up the etymology of those words :
1. The Latin prefix "bi" means "two". Therefore, "bisexual" means "sexually attracted to two genders".
2. The Greek prefix "pan" means "all". Therefore, "pansexual" means "sexually attracted to all genders".
3. The Greek-derived prefix "poly" means "most" or "a large number of". Therefore, "polysexual" means "sexually attracted to most genders".
Now we can apply some logic to the debate over their synonymity :
A. If you argue that bisexual and pansexual have the same meaning, it also means that you believe there is only two genders.
B. If you argue that bisexual and pansexual do not have the same meaning, it means that you believe there is more than two genders.
C. If you argue that someone can be polysexual, it means that you believe there is more than two genders.
The word that would fit the definition "sexually attracted to more than one gender" is "multisexual". However, since this word could as much be interpreted as representing the ideology that there is only two genders than representing the ideology that there is more than two genders, one could use the word "plurisexual". Since "pluri" means "several" or "more than two, but less than half", it presuppose that there are more than two genders.
Anyways, all this is way too complicated to be understood by all (not only because some of them are too stupid, but because most do not value the time necessary to it's understanding as worth spending on it). Therefore, I believe that it's easier and better to just be your self and describe to people who you are.
@@carrie637 "Omni" is just the Latin equivalent of "pan". They have the same meaning.
@@nic12344 Finally, someone who gets this.
@@nic12344 Although, you could be bisexual, but believe in multiple genders.
I am bisexual and I don't think it is possible to be a "third gender" at the moment at least (you can identify as one, but that doesn't mean that you are), until the future when technology might be able to create a "third gender" with characteristics and traits separate and unique from male and female.
Someone told me I wasn't valid and that I was biphobic just because I was pansexual.
No sexual orientation is phobic
Same :( I didn’t know people felt this way until recently
I’m sorry. *Some* pans are biphobic - the ones who declare that Bis *only* like men and women and not non-binary people, and that if you like non-binary people you’re pan, and don’t accept that Pan is an identity under the Bi umbrella, and that most Bis *are* attracted to all genders. So then some Bi people think Pan is always biphobic because of that. But most Pans are how he explained in the video, that the distinction of gender not mattering is important to how they identify, so they specify that they’re Pan. And there’s *nothing* wrong with that, it’s not biphobic and it’s completely valid.
@@theveryfirstlostgirl4593 stop
@Vincent Smith Right, the prefix bi originally came from the meaning two - the idea of non-binary people wasn’t well known when the term was coined; in fact, “gender” itself was almost solely an academic concept rather than something people talked about in everyday life. But since then the definition of bisexual has been clarified to mean attraction to more than one gender (see the bisexual manifesto, written in 1990). Bisexuals who are only attracted to male and female are obviously valid! But they aren’t the only ones who fall under the label “bisexual”. Here’s a great article about it! www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1240832
Thank you Luxander! It's nice to hear someone talk about this without being overly rightious or political. You're very careful and gentle in your phrasing and you sound like a genuine nice person. You talk about all of this in An almost business-like, clear and easy to understand way, without any judgement or raised-fist-for-what's-right-vibe. This is very refreshing. I also very much like your voice.
I just love the word queer, but I also like the word bi and pan.
I like Queer as a general term but some people get offended by that. I think I have used most those terms. I don't know what fits. Mostly for me is Ill know if I'm attracted to you once I'm in the situation.
@@belkyhernandez8281 But what does it mean to call yourself queer now? I'm 52 so it's a different generation. My older brother was gay. He passed away. I hung out with him and his friends and being called queer was a mean thing. It was definitely meant as an insult and until recently, I thought it still was but now it has been added to LGBT so it's confusing. I guess I just want to understand people better.
@@angiev1840 from what I understand, queer now just means not heteronormative. So it's probably like the biggest umbrella term that covers being trans, gay, bi, non binary, etc.
I used to like Queer more, especially since it's so broad, but I was using bi, because other terms were just not understood by most of my interlocutors. Now I just got used to it and I identify as bi.
@@garouuchiha4041 he?
If anyone thinks I'm wrong, feel free to tell me, but I suspect that all of these terms - and L,G&T - are embraced by some people who would say they are not queer.
Lol. That "Yes parts! Please parts!" spot in the video made me crack up
Thanks for the like! :)
'Bisexual means you are attracted to all genders'
'Omnisexual means you are attracted to all genders'
ugh
I have a Bisexual friend who REALLY hates Pansexuals and Lesbians-
I came out to her as Pansexual-
We aint friends no more-
Edit: I realized I was bisexual and I told my friend (that friend is friends with the friend in this comment) and so he told her that I was bisexual and now shes trying to become friends with me again💀
@@mariarzyt_3D Ikr :((
why would they hate lesbians??
im glad you guys arent friends now
I think that means bi men coz they can't be with lesbians
Whats their number? I just want to have a lil talk 😁
My problem 'with hearts, not parts' is the hidden implication that people of other sexualities are hyperfocused/obsessed with the genitalia of their partner and don't care for the character of the person they are attracted to. Also a lot of pan folks kinda make their definition sound like yeah I'm pan cause I would also date trans people, like straight/gay/bi people don't date trans people?? Especially like saying you're pan and not bi bc of trans people, is very biphobic and of course transphobic, as this kinda conveys the message that trans men and women aren't men and women. What they mostly mean are nb folks, but I have yet to met a bi person opposed to dating someone nonbinary.
But overall my biggest problem with the label kinda is that it was first invented by Siegmund Freud so toddles
(sry English is not my first language)
"What they mostly mean are nb folks" yes, and non-binary people are almost by definition trans. "I have yet to met a bi person opposed to dating someone nonbinary" type into youtube something like "pansexual biphobia" and you'll find your fill of transphobic (in that they won't date binary trans men and women) bisexual people that won't date non-binary people either.
Espurr Fitzroy Yeah but most definition I've heard (especially in RL) are like yeah it means men and women AND trans people, like yeah there are nb people but trans men and women aren't a whole ass new gender, so my problem often times is the rather thoughtless wording and the lack of the necessary vocabulary to even define the label they assigned themselves to. I would never claim that there are no transphobic/nb-phobic (?) bi people, just the ones I personally know and often times the mentality and community one encounters in rl, just differs from the one online. But even online I rarely find an definition of pansexual, that made me go 'ah I get it', so I'm really open to a definition that doesn't imply that only pansexuals look for the heart/character of a person.
Greetings
@@melima_ okay, well, pan means all, so if we're gonna get technical, it means _all_ genders. which includes men, women, and people that do not fit into the gender binary, ie non-binary people, aka a subset of people that are trans (people that do not identify as the gender they were assigned at birth because there are no non-binary genders assigned). Yeah, i guess "hearts, not parts" sounds a little condescending, but the implication is that pan people are attracted to other people _in spite_ of their gender. that gender makes no difference. I don't know where one draws (or if one _can_ draw) the line between being attracted to people in spite of gender, or being attracted to every single last gender. and i really am sorry that it sounds condescending (i'm bi/pan) but people of monosexualities really are taking into account gender, are they not? not saying that, for example, a person attracted to women would date _any_ woman. obviously character matters a lot. but it _does_ have to be a woman, doesn't it?
(Slowly backs back into bi)
This is very true and I agree with you completely. But you should keep in mind only a few years ago Bi was a trans exclusionary term, so now people in the present are adjusting to new definitions and adjusting their own definitions for these words and how they choose to identify themselves.
HAPPY PANSEXUAL HERE! Everyone is beautiful and is deserving of love ♡
Lol😂
I hope one day I find a word that successfully communicates what's going on inside me.
Identitycrisis? Existential crisis?... nihilism?!
I guess you have a name. Technically that's a word and it perfectly describes you. No more words needed :) Don't try to fit yourself into some rigid labels. You just can't capture the whole of human experience into words.
I know just take it easy stay strong and remember things will get better
So what’s the point if these labels if “everyone has their own meaning of these labels??”
A lot of people use labels not cause they obsess over them, but rather we use them to help us connect to similar people. So that we feel less discriminated against and alone.
@@uneasyanduncertain Do you think it also helps people understand themselves maybe? Like, if I can define my sexual identity, I will understand myself better and I think that is a good thing if it helps someone. Just a thought.
@@angiev1840 yes, exactly that. thank you
Yaw Yeboah-Kankam
True, true
Idk exactly why there needs to be so many different labels, but I’m bisexual, not pansexual. I don’t need my label to be inclusive of nonbinary people because, so far as I’m aware, I’m not particularly attracted to all genders. That’s not transphobic, but people act like it is. Just because I’m attracted to both men and women does not mean I should be attracted to everyone. There’s unnecessary pressure for bisexuals to be pan. I don’t know if I like intersex people. I have never been attracted to intersex people before. Just because I like more than one sex/gender does not mean I need to be attracted to all bodies and genders... so the distinction between bi and pan is important to me. People don’t say to straight men “Why aren’t you attracted to men? That’s so exclusionary!”, but my bisexuality is deemed exclusionary🙄🙄 I’m not invalidating other people’s gender or other people’s bodies just because I don’t want to have sex with them. The biphobia in the LGBT community rn is problematic...
*I may find out one day that I am attracted to more than just men and women, but I don’t have any experiences for that, and there’s nothing wrong with liking just men and women*
I was honestly so confused if I was bi or pan because, to me, it doesn’t matter if you’re non-binary or intersex and I thought that being bisexual only meant that you like exclusively men and women so for the longest time i was like ??????? but now I know, so thank you for your explanation :) 💜💜
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So why were you confused? Why didn't you just assume that meant you were pan?
I am in a relationship with a pan person, i'm bi. And people at my school say bi and pan people don't exist.
I guess me and her don't exis
(We broke up last year)
(I'm also pan and not bi)
Thats sad ;-; you poor young soul
@@st4rboy014 we broke up lmao she was quite toxic
Me, a bisexual:
*”Time to go Byesexual!”*
Me that is bi:change da world my final message goodbye **windows 95 startup sound plays**
No don't say that u guys exist
Honestly I’m so thankful for this. I’m a bland straight cisgender male and I tend to get confused with all these new words that feel almost thrown around because I’m not up to date with the LGBTQ+ community. So I’m glad that I now know what the difference between these are to an extent
Dude shut the fuuuuccckkk up about biphobia holy shit
*edited to add:
Biphobia does exist in the world! However, the existence of pansexual people, or any non-monosexual person choosing not to identify as bisexual, is not biphobic! Someone else's affirmative statement about their sexuality is not a condemnation of anyone else's, and it's not bi+ people's fault if cishets make shitty assumptions!
Exactly!!
Luxander um what?
Is this an account hack?
Edit: looking at all the comments under the comments it seems like people are using the pretense of "fighting biphobia" to bash pan/poly/omni people.
So you're ok with biphobia happening on your channel?
@@alicewater2003 As I said above, it appears that alot of people in the comments are using the pretense of attacking biphobia to attack pan people, omni people, polysexual people, and other microlables. I think that's what they are commenting about, basically telling these people off.
I'm straight, but these things always confuse my. Thanks for your explanation.
Luxander I must thank you a million times for explaining these terms to me. I'm a 62 year old lesbian who has been in education for the past 35 years and these new terms are confusing for me. I'm attracted to a woman who is pansexual and you have finally explained to me what that means. Thank you for your brave (in my day) presentation. Be well.
I identify as Bi. I have identified that way since the late 90s when I was in my late teens...yup I am old. I always just meant I was attracted to everyone. We used to say hearts not parts back then, meaning it doesn't matter what parts you happen to have if you are a good person I will probably be attracted to you. I knew no one who identified as "pan" I don't think that was a thing then, but I had Bi friends. I found out about 4 years ago that parts are indeed very important to me. I was dating someone who didn't like their parts involved... I am not a pillow princess!!! I like this term Omni sexual. Parts are indeed important, what ever they are! 🤣😍
this comment needs more love! Oldschool bis were saying pannie phrases like "regardless of gender" and "hearts not parts" from the 60s through the early naughts. I think people started using pan because, as Luxander said, people were confused and ignorant about where trans people "fit" in attraction models - they thought they needed to be distinguished from cis men and women. The nonbinary, agender, and genderfluid labels were in the olden days considered to fall under the trans umbrella. Bis have always been inclusive. There are literally only two sexes (with intersex people expressing traits of both sexes, as well as some trans people [which in no way negates their gender]). Ergo if you're attracted to both sexes, you are attracted to all genders. It was so simple then. If anything, the microlabels hone in on gender distinctions. As an OG bisexual, idgaf. Gender, any gender, is part of what makes a person lovable and sexy (or not).
@@rebeccaogle6207 Pansexual was created a long time ago. This isnt something recent that was made up because of Trans people. Do some research before saying stuff like this because its panphobic and untrue to the literal definition of what Pansexual is.
@@bionic_bat nah, you. 💗 People've used all kinds of prefixes throughout the 20th century, but pan- was popularized in the early naughts for the reasons I stated. I lived through it, and research validates what I lived through. It's ok to identify as either. The important thing is to recognize that trans men are men, trans women are women, and that gender can be fluid just like attraction. It's 2020 and I think bis and pans are on the same page in that regard. No one needs to erase anyone else's history or identifiers.
@@rebeccaogle6207 I agree with you and Kristina. Think there may be a generation gap thing going on here. The first use of bisexuality dates back to the 1800s (search Charles Gilbert Chaddock) and while the term pansexual dates to 1914 (search Sigmund Freud), it was not used in the way it is used now till the 60 or 70s. Growing up in the 90s nobody around me even knew what a pansexual was. And I remember Bis saying 'hearts not parts as well'.
For what it's worth Kristyn, I, and by the sound of it other Bi people, lived through being told we were anti-trans for not being pansexual despite the fact that a significant part of the Bi community is attracted to trans people or ARE trans people. Regardless of what they say now, some people identifying as pansexual said the things Rebecca says they did. If you go to early LGBTQ forums on the internet, you can still find evidence of this. As a result some people, myself included, felt pressured to identify as pan to not be seen as insulting to trans people.
Sense you brought up research Kristyn, here's a article from a few years back documenting a pansexual movement to separate from Bisexuals in support of trans or non-binary folks and how that kinda hurt the trans and non-binary community from the perspective of a trans person. everydayfeminism.com/2015/01/bi-vs-pan/ It has tones of links if you want to fact check it. I just googled pansexual and trans to check and you can also find images and memes by pansexual people about how they are pan in acknowledgement of trans people if you filter for older ones. What Rebecca is referring to was a real thing because some bi people, again myself included, did not distinguish between cis or trans when saying we like men and women.
If you read all that, thank you. In any case, I respect however any of you decide to identify yourself. Can we all please stop fighting? We have more in common that we realize, and that goes for omnisexuals or polysexuals as well. Have a great day!
I didn't understand it😭
I am bi
Some days I feel more feminine
Other days I feel more masculine
I am attracted to all genders regardless of their labels
Regardless of their sexuality
I would most definitely date a trans person
Love should never be restricted !
To me love is love ! 💗💜💙
So you're not bi. You're pan.
@@caffemocca8855 exactly. I think they're gender fluid/ Non-binary as well cuz they're feeling both masculine and feminine
@@caffemocca8855 Nope! There’s actually a difference. Pansexual people love all genders and bisexuals love most! But remember, they are just labels! They are just words! Support anyone and everyone!
I still don't see how being pans is any different than just being Bi. They both sound the freaking same to me!
my health class literally taught us that pansexuality and bisexuality were the sex thing....
*I got mad*
I would be to
Why is there the word sex in pansexual and bisexual?
@@somebodysomeone453 The word sex is in them because if you're pansexual or bisexual, etc than you're sexually attracted to people. There's also panromantic, biromantic, etc which means that you're romantically attracted to people. They're called that to diffrentiate the meanings.
Woah they actually talked about orientations? How inclusive.
If you meant the same thing, they kind of are. I see them as synonyms for saying the same exact thing, but one may like how another word sounds better and thats fine.
This is why I don't label myself. When I first came out, I said "bisexual" simply because I had never been with a woman at that point, but I knew I was attracted to them. Then I said "lesbian" because I felt more and more attraction to women. Now though, I'm not actually sure what I would call myself. Recently, I've found myself being attracted to women. I do sometimes feel attraction for cis men, but it's purely intellectual and maybe romantic, but the idea of sex with them turns me off. Does that make sense to anyone? Anyway, now I usually just say "I like what I like".
It's possible to be biromantic but not bisexual
@@zoekuijpers3666 Thanks for making me feel less crazy 💜
@@suzannemenuet947 you're absolutely not crazy. I'm bisexual and homoromantic. So homosexual and biromantic is completely possible. It's called cross-orientation, where your romantic orientation and sexual orientation don't match.
@@EveryDayALittleDeath Thank you!
trans people aren't another gender!!!!! trans women = women, trans men = men!!!!!!
Well, I'm not sure, I think it's still a really small minority that acknowledges all of these modern sexualities. For most people outside of the bubble, bi still means attracted to men+women.
Hi, I'm bi and I'm confused.
suru01 me too. 🤣
Same 😂
Ahhh Same
I dunno if I should identify as bi or pan this is soo confusing
@@megaaaaaaan1622 sammme like based on who I'm attracted to, I should be considered pan but identifying as bi is more fitting to me so ✨i dont really knowww✨
I literally cried when you said “for those who are just listening” 🥺❤️
Haraam very very haram
I've identified as bisexual for years but someone brought the question of bi vs pan today and I realized I hadn't really considered it. This is a really well done explanation, and I appreciate that you took the time to create it. It also gave me something to mull over as I may actually be omni more than bi.
I’ve been told literally word for word that “bisexuality is the attraction to two or more genders” and now y’all giving that exact definition to polysexuality while claiming it’s different. Make it make sense beloved!
These new LGBT "activists and educators" are only focused on creating new labels to further divide us. How can everyone be special if there are only a 3-4 ways to describe your sexuality? Let's create 10 news labels to describe different degrees of bisexuality, so people can feel more special, and we dont have to associate with the negative bisexual stereotypes. Because thats all that this is. People want to be bisexual without having to say they are bisexual. Regressive identity politics at its finest.
Ray03595 BIBLE!!! Something that infuriates me these days is that these micro labels are assigning cookie cutter molds to sexuality AKA the most fluid and nuanced thing ever. What’s even more infuriating about the influx of micro labeling is that the definitions often overlap because they’re based on said nuances, rather than something concrete like homosexuality or heterosexuality. For example, people like to differentiate between bisexuality and pansexuality by claiming that pansexual people’s attraction isn’t affected by gender....Like that’s literally bisexuality. I identify as bisexual because that’s how I function.
polysexuality falls under bisexuality. some bisexuals like all genders and some don’t, those who don’t like all genders can identify as polysexuality. they’re not the same, but they’re related.
@@petitechiroptera1347 I’m pretty sure people identifying with the label of polysexual because they didn’t feel comfortable with bisexual. The main reason for this that I’ve seen is because bisexuality is often times associated with the gender binary. Obviously bisexuality is not exclusive to men and women, it’s two or more, but because it’s so often associated with liking both men and women (not necessarily exclusively), some people who don’t like both men and women but still like two genders may not feel like their sexuality is properly represented by that label. Often times people who identify as polysexual may like women and non-binary (basically anybody outside of the gender binary) or men and non-binary. Technically they could identify as bisexual but they don’t like to because they don’t feel like it fits them properly and that’s okay. An important part of finding your sexuality is finding one that represents and feels comfortable for you. As you said sexuality is very fluid and people experience it in different ways.
@@velarium9996 Thank you so much for explaining! That makes a lot of sense
As a bi person, yall confuse me sometimes... 😂
I know right holy shit. I honestly don't know why we don't just stick to bi
@@tylaho5935 because it doesnt fit for all people , remember that we also cop the same shit from Monosexuals , "just pick a side" ... im proud to be Bi+ but im also a fierce ally of non monsexuals as well
@@AntAciieed There's no real reason for it to not "fit" other people other than them feeling uncomfortable being called bi due to the stigma. Most reasons that pan is claimed to be different to bi aren't even accurate and tend to be biphobic/transphobic. Let's not go against monosexuals though, we don't need to pit against other LGBT people.
Here's my take on it as someone who identifies as bisexual. I feel like pansexual people are equally attracted to any gender while I personally feel that as a bisexual person I can't say the same, because i'm attracted to different genders for different reasons.
@@superlouis3333 But at that point, it isn't necessary to have a separate label, since sexualities just mean who you are attracted to and bisexuality would already cover that. Plus, a lot of bi people don't have a preference whereas many pan people claim to.
As a 16 year old barely discovering my sexuality, this helped so much. Thank you so much
You're doing a wonderful job explaining all this. Attraction is something odd and beautiful.
Hiya! We sure seem to comment on a lot of the same channels! And, I love your comments! I'm a sub you! Love and Peace
Welcome to the comments! Keep it safe and clean, please. Thank you!
My kiddo recently confided to me that he identifies as pansexual. I'm an older parent, who has always classified things within the older common-definitions of the LGBTQ+ community. Though I identify as a straight cisgender male, I consider myself an LGBTQAI+ ally. Admittedly, there are now more distinct and evolving nuances that I haven't followed, but I'm trying to remove my own obstacles to grow a better understanding to be a more evolved ally.
Your video definitely helped me to understand a little more because I was stuck in the cyclical thinking of "he identifies as pansexual, but he's really meaning bisexual." The moment you said, "Hearts, not parts", I got it, even if you've evolved beyond that ... or said that for you, parts matter. I don't think my kiddo is quite there yet with the parts (as far as I know), but he's definitely there with the hearts.
Thank you for this video. It was very insightful. I have a lot more to learn so I can be as supportive to my son and the overall community. I just want you to know that what you're doing does is meaningful and has helpful impact.
I heavily identify as bisexual, but because of my own particular definition of it. (Being genderfluid; identifying bisexuality as 'my own gender' and 'another gender' can't really fit when I literally cycle the whole gender spectrum).
Instead I identify as bisexual not because of love for men and women (cis, trans, or otherwise) but for an attraction to masculinity and femininity. Regardless of what gender a person identifies, or where they are on sort of the spectrum of masculine to feminine, if someone's presenting a lot of masculine and/or feminine traits, I'm all for it!
It's only when I meet someone who is leaning towards the more non-gender side of androgyny where they don't really show much of either that the chemistry just isn't there, hence why pansexual never felt right. And I realize some of this is sort of culturally relative, but I've never found another explanation for it except bisexuality.
Yeah, so that's just my perspective to muddy the waters a little more. Loved the video, and I'll definitely be looking more into omnisexual since that sounds like it might be a little closer to my particular relationship to my sexuality.
oh dang, your definition fits for me a lot too!
except i find androgynous people very hot lol.
I think for me I'm more attracted to femininity and androgeny? masculinity is nice, but not my favorite lol.
@@meowman69420 I think I'm the same! I really like people who are either very masculine, or very feminine, but also androgenous. I guess I'm just really attracted to extremes
@@cocoacoolness heck yeah, extreme time lol
That's an interesting affinity. Thanks for sharing.
FINALLY!!! Someone saying that bisexuality isn't transphobic
Best explanation I’ve seen. The label bi really fits for me because I do find my attraction tends to center around how another person’s gender relates to mine, and the homo(same)sexual side feels distinct to me from the hetero(different)sexual side, but both modes of attraction can include gender fluid, trans, or non-binary attraction. I’m glad we have more precise language around this, because our inner worlds are complex and there’s something really gratifying about being able to clarify how we feel.
Thank you for making this! I'm not sure if I'm poly or pan but I don't like the label bi. Not because I think it's exclusionary but because I just don't think it describes me or the way I experience attraction very well. As much as some people dislike the saying, "hearts not parts" actually does a decent job of describing my feelings.
I'm bisexual. The "attracted to men and women and no-one outside of that" bisexual. It's all I've ever heard it explained as, tbh.
But I've never thought of the nuances before: just been labeling anything beyond that as "possibly pansexual".
Thank-you for expanding on it.❤️
Great
I find this whole conversation so confusing. We love who we love and we call it whatever we want to call it. Why does anyone have to define it at all. Isn't that in itself problematic? Inherently by labeling something we are excluding something else. Let's just not judge each other, be kind to one another and live our lives.
I use all these labels interchangeably, as I don’t care what gender a person is lol. I tend to use bi day to day however because it’s just easier
Thanks for making this video! That's actually the reason that I never identified as pan and have always used bi despite the whole two genders debate around it. I never related to the "regardless of gender" part of the pan definition because gender is very important to me and definitely a factor in my attraction to people, even if there aren't necessarily genders I'm not attracted to. Glad to learn that there's another term for it!
i can't wait till the day people don't have to come out, and we don't even have to use labels. everyone just loves who they love and nobody gives a shit about whether it's "right" or not or whether it's "transphobic" or "biphobic" because we don't even need labels. we just love who we wanna love and there's no negativity or discrimination. why does it have to matter so much to everyone?
kids at my school: whats the difference?? me:(deep inhale) ALOT
Ngl I’m straight but I’d get slammed by homophobes for “being gay” if I said anything
I don't get it...how? I identify as bi, I'm attracted to all genders whether its male, female, fluid, non-binary, cis, trans, etc. As Luxander described, pan is more like being attracted regardless of gender, while bisexual is still attracted to gender, however pansexual can still mean you're attracted to the person because of gender, too. Or is that omnisexual? Nothing they said here indicated there's "a lot" different, at all. It seems like there's a very subtle difference, and tbh it seems more like people can choose their 'label' simply because it feels right. It feels more natural to call myself bi, though i have in the past called myself pan. I'm attracted to other genders for different reasons, and while I will crush/like someone even before knowing their gender or regardless, it's still a part of them I'm attracted to. Can anyone explain how there's "a lot" different between pan and bi?
@@Mollydedog Yeah! That’s so strange to see people call it two VERY differently sexualities. They are basically the same, bc sexuality is to WHOM you’re attracted, not HOW. It’s just the history of pansexuality. People decided that there has to be transphobic and non transphobic label for the same sexuality. And I don’t mean that palsexuality isn’t valid, it is, but we must focus on our similarities, not differences. I mean, we don’t have another word for lesbians who love person regardless of their body or for hetero people. So it’s strange that such word was created for bi people.
P.S. There’s two definitions of bi. One coming from lgbtq+ history and one from Moga( internet community). And people who define as pan/omni/poly/bi are all the same in the lgbtq+ and represented as B in the acronym. So a person can be both bi and pan at the same time. I believe, that pansexuality is just free of any negative connotations compared to bisexuality( filthy, never satisfied, traitorious)
So youtube has been recommending this video to me for a while but i have been avoiding it because the "multi-spec discourse" i've seen on tumblr is so vicious that reading the words "what's the difference between bi and pan?" now genuinely causes a stress response in me lmao like my heart starts beating faster and i can feel the adrenaline start rushing through my body, tumblr discourse is dangerous yall don't read it lol. But your take is level and nuanced and kind and i appreciate it, thank you.
I go by bisexual because honestly it's always felt the most correct and familiar to me, i went by bi/pan for a while for clarity's sake but it always felt tacked on and forced. Now ive finally read enough bi history to know, that if someone claims i can't be bisexual and nonbinary at the same time, they just really don't know what the hell they are talking about and i am allowed to tell them that.
But all these misconceptions make me concerned because misinformation has a tendency to spread, especially when it comes to identity terms that most people have only a vague concept of. I really don't mind people using another more specific term than bi but i hate it when people explain why they do that by giving an incorrect description of bisexuality and going "and im not like that", because there definitely are enough bad stereotypes about bisexuals as it is and we really do not need any more of them, especially not coming from people who ultimately belong under the same umbrella with us. Bisexuality is a fairly vague term and i gladly welcome more specific identities under the umbrella, some people like loose definitions and some like more specific ones and it's fine, ultimately we will always have way more in common than not. I just really wish people would get the memo faster and we could stop doing all this etymological nitpicking. Word definitions change and ultimately lived community history should always matter more anyway.
Sorry for this novel, ive been having a mild breakdown over this for several months now, someone needs to stop me from reading tumblr discourse jfc
I know this commit won't
reach the top. But I am so relaxed when you talk
To be honest, this is just way too complicated. It is literally all the same. This is like hair splitting.
Gay people are still gay but some might like twinks more, some bears, some strong men, some effeminate people. At the end, they are all the same. Gay. We could easily split those into hundreds different genders if we want.
To be honest, it kind of feels like just extra hair splitting with the sole puropose of belonging to an smaller group and feeling more special because of that. The gender itself is an imaginary construct anyways. In terms of sex, you either are male, female or nothing of booth. The gender is basically just the term that describes how the person feels, not really what they are.
Sure, it is fine if people want to split these things up. But the joke is that you can maby split the feeling of people to others, but not what they are. And even that is impossible because one can e.g say that the sex is 100% irrelevant, but it probably really isn't. It comes down to the person someone is in love with, not with the image one is falling in love in their head with.
Between heterosexual and homosexual, the spectrum is infinitely big. There is no way to truly differentiate the genders.
The biggest problem is that this is getting so confusing and out of hand, that it does more harm than it helps. People are getting really confused.
We should make things simple, not complicated.
At the end, I am bisexual. Probably a bit more attracted to men. Not really the strong or extremely masculine type but also not the opposite. But just bi. Anything between hetero and homo, regardless of "gender", sex, shape, color or whatever. Because at the end, itr comes down to the person I love, not to my imaginary depiction of my feelings.
We should stop putting people into boxes. It is time to unbox. But maby this is just my opinion.
You are right to a point. But also the nuances that certain labels give help people understand themselves more and also help people talk to those that are similar. Maybe pansexuality comes under bisexuality. That means all pansexuals are bisexuals but all bisexuals are not pan, and this nuance is helpful for people to undertsand themselves. For other people, this nuance is not necessary..i gyess you belong to the latter
I agree, unbox, keep it simple for us hetero's , my head is spinning!
"These broadly overlap, but for som people the difference matter" -hanniball.
I mean ur opinion can be anything but by putting it in the world like this you make pan, omni and poly people feel like their sexuality isnt real or valid. What is really damaging. If you dont wanna be pan, omni, poly or even bi or gay thats ok :).
I know it's hard to understand for people that dont have specific sexualities to understand them, but the least you can do is make them feel welcome. Labels can matter allot to people, since they make it that people can understand eithother better. "Stop putting labels on everything" has been told to me allot as a autistic (amongst other things) person, and it kinda sucks. Knowing I have autism and having that label has helped me allot and therapy and with understanding myself overal :) same goes for my sexuality. I felt so lost and allone cus I knew I wasn't bi but I also didnt know what else I could be. Finding out was a big life saver and has helped me explain my feelings and thought process allot. Labels can be very good, they open up so many things about yourself that u never before knew how to explain. I dont expect you to ness understand this but I just wanted to leave it here, have a very nice day :)
@@duck_onYouDuxk You are missunderstanding me. I wrote something different. I never put it in a way that would make it sound that some sexualities aren't real. That is solely your interpretation. Please don't put words into my mouth I never said. I don't like getting discredited.
To the topic:
The thing is that overlabeling isn't always the solution. Labels are helpful and are meant to show others what you are but creating a lable for everything that differntiates just by the smallest fraction from something else makes it convoluting and destroys the purpose of said labels. In fact, it makes everythign worse because people will now not understand your situation.
If one casually asks how a rocket works, you can't explain him every single bolt and nut in a rocket and explain the entirety of the standard model in order for them to gasp how every chemical reaction inside a rocket works down to the quark. In best case, they will not understand you and in the worst case they will be annoyed by your convoluted label.
Labels are good but you can't just use them everywhere. You have to use them in moderation and in the right situation. You can identify with 20 prefixes in front of friends that share your situation and will understand you but not with the vast majority of people which will not.
For you in person, that label may be important, but for everybody else it often has no meaning. If one ask me about my sexuality, I say them that I am bi/gay , or that I like booth genders. I don't explain them every single feeling against different kinds of people I have since it will not help them understand my situation. The thing is that the vast majority couldn't care less about thoise details. I am me for my friends, family and everybody I know. And regardless if I am...
hetero, gay, bi, lesbian, pansexual, nonbinary, transsexual, polysexual , allosexual, androsexual, asexual, birosexual, closeted, bicurious, autoromantic, cupiosexual, monosexual, non-libidoist asexual, omnisexual, queer, sex favourable, sapiosexual, spectrasexual, questioning, pomosexual, graysexual, fluid, demicomantic or whatever...
I will stay me for those people.
For them I will be gay or bi, regardless of how specific I label me. Because being bisexual already covers every label that comes deeper down.
One can create as many labels as he wishes for himself. But at the end, a million labels doesen't matter if a handfull can describe everything percise enough that the differences of more wouldn't matter to anybody.
Labels are there to easily describe things to others. They aren't meant to be explained.
At the end, a label that sticks to me doesen't define my personality, but my personality defines my labels. Regardless of what I label me as, it doesen't make a difference for others in terms of who I am. Besides, prsonalities are so complicated that they can't be labeled easily. Nobody fits perfectly into a labels definition. We can either use primitive labels everybody understands or use none at all, which would be ideal. Creating more primitive sub labels that nobody understands isn't a good solution.
Good day.
@@kiki28girl again this is a specific part of your experience, for you it is not helpful at all. For me it is , im the sort of person who likes to dissect and understand every single thing i feel and more labels help me with that, i feel more understood. The problem with people calling one label or the other transphobic is ridiculous even to me. And as long as people understand that they are all the same thing or they can mean different things to individual people there wouldnt have been such a debate. I feel bad that you feel your identity is being taken away from you. Fuck that, what you choose is yours. No one has the right to tell you you are pan if you identify with bisexuality. But thats the problem with people who say that, the label i believe can remain to be used when its necessary
Thanks a lot for making clear that bisexual is not transphobic 👍👍👍 I just like to use this term because it is more common than the other terms.
By the way, I am very curious whether you are in relationship and what you think about polyamory. I know it is a very personal question and completely understand if you don't want to answer...
6:08 YES. EXACTLY. these are great definitions!
you've basically just given my thoughts on everything in this video.
if hetero is different and homo is same then it only makes sense that bi is different AND same (we're both, but our own separate identity!)
also ive been seeing a lot of shit on labels, i just wanna say people are allowed to use labels if they want to but NOBODY is forcing you to. if labels are restrictive, literally just don't use them, and if it makes other people happy to label themselves, don't try to take that away from them! don't blame labels for your own poor decisions!
“Hearts not parts” was a bi saying .
Bisexual is an umbrella term which pansexual, omnisexual and polysexual fall under. That's why they are similar but have little differences. The differences are small but still present. People use the terms that fall under the bisexuality umbrella because they want to be more specific. And there's nothing wrong with that.
I personally identify as bi-demisexual because I feel like it describes me well and it isn't very specific. Some people like specific labels and some don't. That's perfectly valid. 💕
I’m pretty new to a lot of this. I knew I felt either bi or pan. after watching some other lgbtq+ stuff I was leaning heavily towards pan, and after this video I do agree with “hearts not parts”. parts matter to me but not parts that deal with gender. more just how attractive I find them. so thanks for this video it, definitely cleared my head and I learned a good amount.
"yes, parts. please parts!" 3:37 LMFAO
Haha yes! I had to rewind here because that was so cute and relatable 😅
I love your response to "hearts not parts". 100% where I land too.
When you said you id as pan I was afraid next would be something about bi meaning men and women or being transphobic but no, your definition was perfect!
Edit: nothing against pan people, I love all people in our community, but having someone else define your sexuality is always a bit anxiety-inducing. So happy this was done well!
Thanx for this. ❤️ I’ve heard the term omnisexual but never really knew what it means. Now that I know the definition, it actually describes me the best. In written context I tend to label myself as bi/pan. When I speak to people about my sexuality the term bisexual has stuck. I think if I would start avoiding the term bi and using pansexual or omnisexual instead it would diminish the fact the term bisexual can be, and in my case is, inclusive.
I recently have come into questioning my sexuality again as I've been identifying as bi for about 18 years now but recently a comrade mentioned that pan might be a better description. This gave me a lot to consider. Thank you!
Cant I just love who I love and not be labelled
Yes, you can! Some people just like knowing and labeling themselves.
Thank you! I am Pan..I love how you have clarified..
During the the video I was like "oh that's me!" "no wait that's me" "Hold on... but" "I am to confused about my self I need to go to bed".
Honestly as someone who just enjoys listening to stuff like this and someone who used to question, this is really a great video to help me understand! I know that this information may greatly help me understand what the lgbt community goes through :> I really hope I can help out in the future!
Looking forward to helping people when I become a psychologist in the future :) Thanks a ton for the video! Very informative and helpful ^-^
Attracted to people of any gender? So "bisexual," right?
Pansexual
@@bamababii5989 OR bisexual
it can be bi, pan, etc. (and if there’s more similar then people can tell me), but it can also be whatever you feel lost comfortable identifying as
The issues I run into because im pan is that people consider it biphobic, but that's not what it is at all! Most of the time, people say it without realizing what pansexuality is.
I also run into the issue of: 'Oh so it's just a preference to get to know someone first!', similarly to demisexual people. However, it's not really a preference per se. I like people regardless of gender, gender is irrelevant and I see them as mainly their personality and who they are as a person. It's not a preference, ironically, it's the absence of one
Honestly, this video clears so much. The only lgbtq+ people im close to tried to tell me that pansexuality or omnisexuality dont exist when i tried to ask for help. Thanks🥺❤
i am a pansexual 😆🏳️🌈
and i’m proud 😆😝
So it seems to me that Bisexual is an umbrella term that includes things like pansexual. So under that assumption Pan would be a more tailored version of Bi.
* If you want to scroll to what I learned about myself, it's the last line.
Since I was a teen in the 1970s and was helped and for a very short time was seen by a therapist named Evelyn Hooker in Santa Monica CA. I have claimed gay male as an identity. That being said, many of us during that period based on what we were taught and our understanding of the Kinsey Scale (also called the Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale ... useless today actually.) I basically came out a 4 on this scale.
It pretty much also was my experiential reality, especially early on as a teenager. Sadly, being "Bisexual" during this time period in the historic gay subculture of North Hollywood and San Francisco was seen as denial amongst young gay males of peoples true "gay self." So I conformed, ya know like people often do.
* After watching your video a second time, I'd say actually I'm more a polysexual and would have identified as such over the last 44 years. Amazing.
Hey! I'm not the oldest one here!
I moved to SF in 1993, and didn't even know what bisexual meant. I remember people saying that women could be bi (which at the time meant "until you settled down with a man") but that men couldn't. I also remember a lot of really dumb reasons for this being cited to me. I think a LOT of older bisexual men IDd as gay. I also know a lot of bi/pan women who partnered long term with women and took "lesbian" on as their identifier because of the biphobia in our community.
The queer community has ALWAYS been great at fucking itself up. I am so glad we are getting better.
I was taken to my first Spectrum meeting by a bi male friend of mine. Twenty whatever years later and we both still want all the parts. 🖤🖤🖤
I hate the erasure you have experienced. I have so much empathy. I'm 41 and STILL not positive what is compulsive heterosexuality and what is a lingering (if scant and only occasional) attraction for men. But I console myself that I am raising a child who doesn't have those restrictions placed on who she is and who she loves and who she eventually has sex with. I have always raised her as a queerspawn, inspite of her very cishet father....she knows how lesbians can have babies and that not everyone's heart matches the body they are born with (and she will tell you to believe trans folx because "it is your heart which matters, really") and that not everyone even wants to have sex or relationships.
I mean, with my luck she will be the straightest cis-est most allosexual human ever....but she fecking loathes Trump so I've done one thing right.
Solidarity, my friend.
@Alex Marrone I take no offense! I am old! It is easy to joke about it for me because A) I refuse to push forward the narrative of only young women being attractive and sexual, 2) hypocritical to that, most people think I am 10-15yrs younger than I am (my photo here is only a yearish old) and III) who gives a fuck?
Anyway, my response was to both you and the OP. I hate that you had that experience at Pride...there is another YTer named TJ from the channel The Not Adam, he had a similar experience to you at a recent Pride. He was partnered to a man for something like 7ish years, and is now married to a woman. Anyway, he went from wearing something more anonymously Prideful to changing into a shirt proclaiming his bisexuality at a Pride in L.A. and said that the difference in the way he was received and treated was astonishing.
Given the erasure and biphobia in the community coupled with the stigma on men about anything homosexuality related (which, pro tip, most experts in my field believe comes from plain ol misogyny, i.e. "how dare you give up your God Given male privilege and allow yourself to be debased as a woman!"), it makes NO SENSE why a man would lie about being anything other than monosexual. As a matter of fact I know a number of bi/pan/omni/poly men who married women and simply allow people to believe they are straight, or who partnered/married men and allow everyone to believe they are gay.
I get why people think non-monosexual women are lying....I HATE it, but I get it. I knew literally dozens of women who claimed they were bi because the thought of two women together was so hot to men. Legit they said they had no interest in dating women, they would never fall in love with a woman, they would never EVER have sex with a woman, but they would act all flirty with their female friends because it got them attention from men. Now, I am really sex positive and a bit of an exhibitionist, so I GET the draw to being the object of lust - that can be a powerful motivator. But it shouldn't be a reason to usurp an identity. Ever.
I also don't lay all the blame on women not being believed on the fakers, not by a long shot. I think more accurately, the majority of it comes from the fact that cishet men are socialized to be very much of the belief that women can't POSSIBLY have a drive for sex which doesn't involve one of them, and that all of the whole of women's sexuality is for their own consumptive pleasure.
My heart breaks for your moms. I am not out at my daughter's school...it is weird especially with the moms I am friends with, but even now it scares me. I know we don't take kids away for the parents being queer anymore, but it still scares me a lot.
Lovely "meeting" you, fam. 🌈🌈🌈🌈
@@Kimmaline thank you for sharing this! I experienced something similar in college (I went in 2006.) The term going around then was BUG (bi until graduation) or LUG (Lesbian until graduation.) I had a few women I saw for a week or a month, but we felt we could not really date unless we came out as lesbians and completely disregarded any male relationships we had prior. We couldn't just casually date both/either/any like the young ones these days seem to be able to.
That being said, I know multiple people in their early 40's who are now coming out as bi who previously IDd as straight or gay. Also, people are finally calling people like Freddie Mercury or Frida Kahlo bisexual. I'm so glad things are getting better.
My son is 3 and he is the most boyish boy who ever lived, but I will always let him know that I love him no matter how masculine/feminine he is or who he loves, as long as he's not an asshole.
The Dying Atheist I think as times change and evolve, we discover more about ourselves.
Why would you say the Kinsey scale is not useful anymore?
Otherwise, neat story! Thank you for sharing it 😉 I hope those negative experiences amongst it are (mostly) something of the past now and that the overal tendency around sexual orientation, identification and interaction is positive in the present and the future for you!
This is tangential, but your voice is very relaxing 🙂
also for most bisexuals it doesn't mean one and another it means all genders but with some preferences, omni and bi have the exact same definition for most bisexuals to the point that for many people feel omni is biphobic as it's used to make sure people know you aren't trans or NB phobic which makes bi people feel like they are being called transphobic which we aren't
We used to always have to remind people that bi people are allowed to have preferences because they'd often assume if you do have preferences, you aren't actually bisexual. Now we have to remind people we don't need preferences to be bi. Its getting tiring.
Curious non-trolling comment here: Why all the labels? Why can't we just like who we like?
a lot of the time having a defined label gives people a nice comfortable sense of self and belonging, it can also help people understand themselves better and find other people who identify the same way. Its also really nice to find something that fits you and be able to just go "Oh! That's me!" I hope you get what I mean.
I completely agree. LGBTQ literally could cover everything. Queer by itself could cover almost everything. I get that people want to identify themselves as something different than whatever came before. However, coming up with new labels every 10 sec just devides people more and more. We're all human, it's as simple as that, sexuality has an incredibly broad spectrum and where any given person falls on that spectrum is subject to change, even if only slightly. Identity politics causes discord even in a community that once stood for simply LOVE.
It's why many do not accompany pride parades anymore. Pride is an every day thing from the moment you wake up until the moment you rest your head. Now, the parade is just a cause for chaos even amongst the LGBTQ community. I hear all too often "He's gay but not really gay because he's not fem, flamboyant, or extra", "She's not butch and not a man hater and isn't a genuine lesbian" or " He was born a woman, made the transition to man, but since he identifies as a man instead of they, them, their, he's transphobic"...Where does it end? How can one call a transexual, transphobic? Lol
Because some people are unable to comprehend that some bisexuals aren't interested in having a transgender partner.
@@pamelalagos6552 That makes no sense as post-op trans are literally the opposite gender of what the were born as. You would not be able to tell the difference between a post-op trans woman and a naturally born woman. The same goes for men. Unless they told you, you'd never know.
I am bisexual with attraction for all genders. I really appreciate you making this video, so I'm just commenting to thank you. Keep up the great work!
Thanks for the update my man! All these labels were somewhat confusing to me but now i'm clear on what's what. Thanks dude.. 🙏
I’d just like to thank you for being so loving and welcoming to all people.
Why do so many people hate my sexuality bisexual:( am I not excepted to society?
Same :((
Excepted sorry but tf?
Just accept yourself, but also remember (maybe you are making a statement to everyone what you are? Maybe not everyone needs to know the finer details of your life! Coming from a heterosexual Mom!) You don't have to be a label, just be You! :)
@@humaneleaguelancPA thank you
Did you ever think that it’s just not that important and people don’t have to care? These labels seem more like a cry for attention than anything sincere. Get in where you fit in. No one has to play along. Offending someone isn’t violence. Being offended won’t kill you. Work on loving yourself so you don’t need validity from others.
This video is for people who do care, so I'm not sure why you're here and you're welcome to go away
"This is a cry for attention" is not criticism, it's rude, and I'll treat it like it's rude thanks
I am “one of those people” that are bisexual.
I really don’t think bisexual is an umbrella term at all. I think queer is.
I am not transphobic and I don’t hate or dislike people who are trans. But I am not attracted to trans people. AND THATS OK! You are allowed to like anyone who you want. I am bisexual and NOT pansexual.
@pinkpromises that’s ok though. Atleast it should be
Sorry what- being trans isn't like being nonbinary-
ツBlurSexual when did I mention non binary?
Read the bi manifesto. Like it's said in the video, this word has a history and the way you use it personally doesn't apply the majority of bi people just because you decide it. Your valid, but don't invalidate others by misinforming.
Hi Luxander another good video Jimmy and I were in agreement that we were bi meaning male and female because of the era I grew up in but now consider ourselves pan because we are attracted to people who didn't identify as specifically make or female. I'm totally attracted to the person and not their gender and it was difficult being born in the 70s (all be it the late 70s) because almost nothing by straight cis was acceptable. I find it easier to say pan now for the reasons you vocalised. Another great video I'm really enjoying your content and it's nice for me to connect to people who understand where I come from in spite of my being from a "different" generation much love for you, Jimmy and all others in the community.
As a bi person myself, when I think about bisexual vs pansexual I feel like is pansexual very similar to bisexuality because it’s kind of like bisexuality except more specific. I like comparing it to squares and rectangles as an analogy. All squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares, all pansexuals fall under bisexual but not all bisexuals fall under pansexual. A rectangle is a shape with four sides and four right angles, a square is that same thing except with the addition of the fact that a squares sides are all equal. A square is just a more specific version of rectangle, it can be referred to as rectangle or a square. Bisexuality is widely defined as the attraction to two or more gender, pansexuality is the attraction to all genders regardless of gender (as states in the video). Given the definition of bisexuality, pansexuals are technically bisexual because they like two or more genders. BUT. Just because they can be considered bisexuals doesn’t mean they can’t identify as pan. It’s just like how we can call squares rectangles but we don’t because there’s a more specific term. Pansexuals can be called bisexual but prefer pansexual because it’s more specific to them. This can also go vice versa and apply to other non-monsexual sexualities as well. Just because you can technically identify as a certain sexuality doesn’t mean you have to, that’s your choice. I’m a bisexual that attracted to all genders and gender does play a role in my attraction. Technically, I could identify as omnisexual, but I choose not to because I prefer bisexual. In the end, don’t try to figure out other people’s sexualities for them and don’t let anybody else tell you your sexuality, it for you to decide.
@Charles Fournier Phaneuf Bi actually doesn’t mean you love two genders, it means you love two or more genders.
I’m poly. Thanks for explaining it better than I can, now when people ask I can send them here.
This is so helpful. I thought I was bisexual my whole life and now my son made me realize I'm actually TOTALLY pansexual. It feels really freeing because I believe it really reflects how I truly feel. Thank you so much for this video!
I was banned from the Facebook page group called "Bisexual means regardless of gender." Long story short, I had mentioned on a post that I am bisexual and I also relate to being omnisexual. A member lashed out at me in a cruel way and said I was biphobic for being omni. The administrator agreed and banned me. I don't believe they speak for every bisexual person. I don't think that particular group was behaving professionally either. I would like your feedback please. Thanks.
People are dumb
I find it gets so confusing anymore.
I thought I was bi. (I am male and like male and female ) but now I am confused again 🤔🤪
And I thought bi = men and women
Pan = men, women, trans, everyone
Haven’t heard of omni
Wow so confusing.
Yeah it can be complicated but Bi still means attraction towards male&female, it is also used as an umbrella term since that word has been used for years for example someone might say that they're Bi even though they are attracted to multiple genders they just might of never heard of Pan or Omni or they're just more comfortable with that word....
These 3 sexualities do tend to overlap each other even though they have distinct meanings, the difference between Pan and Omni is that Pan is anyone regardless of their gender, while Omni is anyone yet gender still plays some sort of factor of their attraction towards someone.
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Welp this probably didn't help...
Trans isn't a separate gender guys, and non-binary is the lack or no gender.
For me bi is the potential to be attracted, romanticalle and/or sexually to people of my own gender and different genders, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way and not necessarily to the same degree. (Robyn Ochs)
I hate the fact that we have to struggle with finding labels when it shouldn’t even matter. Even I who says this struggle with my identity because I just don’t know how to define or label it. And I think the hardest part is trying to let others know what your sexuality is. I don’t know what exactly to tell people if they ask me what my sexuality is because I don’t know which label would “fit” best. I’ve always said that I was bi but I still feel like pan, omni or poly would also work.
I really hate this😭
@@azpizzazz3442 ah yes it was helpful thankss💗