Max and George talk criminal history, matching with family on Grindr and exposing yourself on Zoom

Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.
Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.
Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:
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Max’s TH-cam:
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George’s TH-cam:
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George’s Twitter:
/ clarke13george

[@doby_p]

It's utterly surreal that Max modestly burping is like some sort of cardinal sin yet continually talking about George's dad spunking on Max's face is totally fair game.

[@zm00thie12]

ngl u made me cry

[@tiamarsh69]

had to wait a whole week for this it was unbearable

[@darcigraves]

I rewatch every podcast episode everyday in the library at my university and I always have to hold in my laughter and people always look at me 😭

[@shakiel6866]

tiktokers making podcasts sounds like a horrific idea yet i watch every single one of them

[@Lucy-eh5dk]

love this!

[@henry_hazelhurst]

Wahey did you say Buxton water bottles? Finally our little town has purpose 😭

[@LillieRose-bi3is]

Never ever stop making these I’m literally in stitches the entire time

[@c0bbles344]

Literally the only podcast that ive ever looked forward to and actually got thru without getting bored

[@amineberroukech1100]

This is my second one like that

[@isobel5359]

@@amineberroukech1100 what’s the other?

[@marthamayes6902]

@@isobel5359 eboys on top

[@evieb5812]

i love it when max says “aaaaarrugghh i’m upset…no move on pls”

[@pinkmonkey444]

"Are you impartial to a pube?" best line of the whole show

[@70milesaway11]

‘How are you finding it?”
‘Google Maps’
Legendary

[@Laura-pu8tg]

"If I sat on a tiger, and it died..." my god this is phenomenal content

[@leahhamo19083]

You two making This TH-cam channel may have cured all of my mental illnesses xx

[@missabbialfieapricot]

Big up my man Joe Sugg 🤘🏼😭😭

[@rachelhorton8029]

another chaotic episode we love to see it

[@erin4651]

Max says something dumb then instead of going back on it he tries to solve it 😂

[@jessicanaismith4972]

George’s laugh is so attractive.

[@ebs_xx]

George is so attractive.

[@missabbialfieapricot]

Max I wanna hear the rest of the Steven Gerrard story 😂

[@angelinas1684]

The way it was definitely callum reading out that audio message 30:00

[@ratpaggy]

atleast the lemonade lid came off smoothly this episode , well done george

[@islandburgoyne]

The vibe of these two guys is legendary xx

[@TheAwarenessMage]

"Water cooler Talk" Pitch on point, maybe you should go into singing after this George! 😄 0:51

[@GuncleTrucker]

I think George got his A in Geography by finding that beep in his garage.😅

[@failed17thchromosome]

YES new useless hotline episode 😩

[@rainbow26pink]

“Mucho in love-o with a gal”

[@charlottemayfield9802]

Starting to think I shouldn’t listen to this through the car while I’m driving round in my company care car… 🤦‍♀️😂

[@chilli-iceolive-abode2447]

Max Baguettey plays the Mouth Breather in this latest episode 🔥

[@graceallsop8705]

northern gang rise up

[@erinbell3250]

MAX:
A* - Art
A - Sociology
B - Psychology
C - Biology
GEORGE:
C - Art
A - Geography
Distinction* - Sports Science

[@Beankean307]

Max you seriously do chat absolute sh*t 😭😂

[@Wait_hope]

Little trick : talk for a little before recording so it won’t be awkward in the beginning

[@gingernproud6514]

No one ever has an innocent hamster death story 😂

[@pinkmonkey444]

Max you make me cry real tears honestly fkn hilarious

[@ImJustMyselfHello]

Just finished listening on Spotify, gonna watch this now just because I wanna see your gorgeous faces ❤️

[@Phrog.82]

GEORGES IMPRESSION WAS SO GOOD AT THE END

[@mallorymacmillan2972]

This whole podcast feels like a fever dream

[@chilli-iceolive-abode2447]

BIG UP MY MAN JOE SUGG, IT'S BLESS FAM 🤘🤘🤘

[@nadiabelskaya8956]

in love with this podcast ❤

[@lilso8411]

why does max always say his surname?

[@bethanyrose5139]

I think it’s a Little Mix meme reference 😂

[@Ghosthost1313]

Omg so funny. Still laughing about Megan Sneaker 😂😂😂😂

[@eviemp6432]

Jazz hands it away lads. Love this podcast man ❤

[@findleyhovell-bell9556]

I'm from Swanage hahaha, you're correct, nobody choses Swanage 😂

[@katiesutherland3307]

Omg so funny love ya both our hamster is hammy lol still laughing lol keep these up xxxx

[@angelfawcett8577]

been waiting all week for this

[@Borderlinebanter4.0]

Very rare I ACTUALLY LOL but I’m LOLING so much 😂

[@rachelsloan2536]

Omg I am crying with laughter when it came to the hamster bit

[@Jordan-be3vl]

Absolutely love you guys and the pod but what's up with these god awful clickbait titles? I mean I'm gonna watch regardless, but whatever management company is making you do them needs to stop lmao

[@diyarse]

loveeeee this pod

[@DigimonDarkMaster700]

George and Max playing footsies 😂

[@courtlelliott]

This is how I learned Brits call trash cans “wheely bins” 😂

[@jessiea-cy3fb]

Omg love the fact that max has been to Knowsley safari park

[@laurenann3512]

i love this so much

[@victoriaxxxx]

best podcast going

[@ashflax]

The Philip schofeild joke is a bit awkward on the day he’s been arrested 😅

[@Scott_McKin]

he wasn't arrested lmao

[@truecrimenwine489]

Maaaaxxxx is the queeeeen

[@Chloe-dv9hf]

that’s quite the video title

[@fairlylightbulb]

You are comedy gold

[@gabbilevon]

YESSS, let's gooo

[@Grace-zz7df]

HELLO

[@berrybear4553]

Yoooo

[@beee.4real]

how'd he know about the pillow thing...

[@Mr_.G]

Probably not the best idea to do one of these drunk (Max) but it was still really funny.

[@villelep]

Omg, Max is so mad 🤪😵‍💫 Love George’s reactions to his monologues 😂🎉👼