Max and George talk Ibiza fountain DRAMA and how max got cancelled at a premiere

Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.
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[@clolo1119]

The tortoise bit had me in tears, the way Max jumped into it in such a delirious state. RIP George they took the wrong one

[@leopardprintprinxess]

LMFAO

[@HollyElms]

This ep was gold. Max confusing the Crips with the Capulets, calling Stanley Tucci Stanley Lucci, as well as George pushing Max to the his very wits end about his dead tortoise were some highlights

[@rebeccasmith6953]

max saying 'maybe even cut that out' and then it making the edit makes me wonder what actually gets cut out 😂😂

[@eghtesadnia]

George looks so fit in yellow

[@xxeczxx9034]

The german word for library is either Bücherei or Bibliothek, so Max was actually right with his translation

[@zara46]

this pod always gets me in such a good mood for the week ahead

[@m1scha]

i wish george was real :(

[@window4234]

Same 😭😭😭😭

[@7harrietii283]

is he not real?💀

[@m1scha]

@@7harrietii283unfortunately he’s only a CGI

[@7harrietii283]

@@m1schawhat a shame 😔

[@luvzrk]

theyve got some good cgi tbf

[@lilllaaaayyyy763]

Rest in peace George the tortoise you will be missed ❤

[@ahaha272]

George really felt like messing with max in this one 💀

[@ln3060]

Please do an episode with Andrew🙏🏼

[@korina-ellap3867]

Tbf to George, George Clooney does live in sonning next to a pub and a theatre/bar. I used to work there and he’s lives right next to the theatre

[@lucy_2511]

look forward to sundays every week because of u too (u both look so good btw

[@williamcaley-lightingandso870]

This is the best part of my Sundays!

[@soniablaggan]

George you had me in stitches laughing for the hour, FINE AND FUNNY

[@0530evan]

this makes a sunday go bye so fast
GEORGE is so funny.....and MAX always has a story.....

[@muddyw4ter]

max i beg u post the video of the woman

[@insertjokehere3430]

George would be such a good voice actor

[@Islagracex4]

Love you guys wet myself laughing every pod 😂

[@MandiSings94]

I cannot get over the way Max says "tortoise" lol

[@samantha7942]

Love when max says “shut up” 😂

[@beepboopbeep111]

THE FITTIES ARE BACK

[@mdon18]

omg thank u sm for reading out my one (i’m madi btw who wrote about my mate’s obsession with max) ❤️❤️❤️ x

[@diyarse]

george laughing about george the tortoise reminds me of them laughing about plato

[@elodielawrence3338]

10:29 I'm so sorry that happened to you max that sounds awful 😢

[@user-um6ow1ly6z]

Honestly devastated that George didn't elaborate on what happened to his pet I'm morbidly curious now

[@elizabeththompson2319]

I think he talked about it before on here because I know? It was a wild little hamster and accidentally fatally injured itself by trying to climb to the upper level of it's crate instead of using the ramp

[@connieharrison6077]

it’s leg got stuck in the cage and was repeatedly bashing its whole body off of the cage and they thought it was “running on its wheel” until they went downstairs to the cage in the morning and saw it stuck in the cage BUT ALIVE and then georges dad made it a splint for its leg and it survived for … less then 24 hours after

[@user-um6ow1ly6z]

@@connieharrison6077 fantastic I am horrified thank you

[@miadornan5944]

i just know the fountain story is gonna b amazing

[@MagikMoonchild_]

pls someone put the clip of max dying at the end in the sexy edit

[@jadeabit]

Can't wait to hear the fountain story lmao

[@leopardprintprinxess]

why is nobody talking about how weird max says 'tortoise' 😭

[@Ldel-ff7ig]

Library in German is ‘bibliothek’ and in French is ‘bibliothèque’ they both sound very similar, so max you were close.

[@Ethan-gz1ul]

r.i.p George the tortoise..
P.S library in German is actually ‘die Bibliothek‘ so well done Max 😘😘

[@clairedrew22]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 I bit my lip! 😂 I fucking love u 2 pmsl thankyou for making me laugh for a whole hour lol

[@oliviacousins4403]

As a fan of yours from ibiza seeing grace step into the fountain I knew what was abt to happen 💀

[@friendswithbugs]

rip george, you were a real one

[@elizabeththompson2319]

By Stanley Lucci did you mean Stanley Tucci?

[@graveang3l]

george is fit

[@lexi1481]

george is so funny i love him

[@ellaklingenspor]

I never got my apology from George :(
p.s max I’m very sorry and I do have edits of u I promise xxx

[@evawd395]

Please don’t think all scousers are like that ♥️♥️

[@TitanRiddle]

rip George

[@mleah.]

I continuously am confounded by your unrefrigerated drink set up.

RIP George 🤧🤧🤧

[@EllyClark96]

Think there should be an ep where we all get to speed date George xx

[@devonbananastar4170]

Are the call in being cut off at the end or am I going crazy??

[@lucy_2511]

no cos i thought that it felt weird maybe they were too long ? im not sure

[@devonbananastar4170]

@@lucy_2511 I’m glad I’m not going crazy lol

[@megzina]

Scaffolding - is a good word

[@arihdansf]

35:05 is so funny

[@kaceysday]

OMWw to make that edit max

[@meere7403]

When will these two get together.

[@Kiesha-ov2ju]

Another post yessss 🎉❤

[@evehay5852]

I love all of your podcasts but this one was hilarious 😂 also R.I.P GEORGE 🐢

[@hlw28tandl]

Bibliotech besties Rip George 🐢

[@cheonsazu]

RIP George the Tortoise. He will be missed

[@marazaugg5794]

Library in German is Bibliothek

[@Clo_cosplays1]

Will the live show be recorded

[@shannon1357]

wait for zippy to go and have tortoise shell shoulder pads xxx

[@tillie9061]

JLS are doing a tour

[@tiabeckett3255]

R I p George the tortoise

[@abnormallyfunny]

2:21

[@antoniahopf448]

Bibliothek is German ;)

[@hamdi002]

Tbf Romeo and Juliet die in a crypt so Max was sort of right

[@BelladonnaAutumn]

Is George still learning Spanish or has he moved on to German?

[@MagikMoonchild_]

rip george the turtle

[@tanieshamoore8568]

Max looks like shrek

[@chloenielson4983]

Bibliotech

[@williamcaley-lightingandso870]

Bibliotek? more like Max looks like Shrek!

[@toukachuu127]

rip george the tortoise

[@toukachuu127]

biblotech more like max's treck

[@marazaugg5794]

Rip George the tortoise

[@soniablaggan]

and Max looks like Shrek x

[@marazaugg5794]

Max looks like Shrek

[@laravassall-adams5147]

biblioteque more like max looks like shreck.

[@harrieleanor]

George please reply to Lauren xox

[@jessieem1]

rip George