Until you develop a healthy relationship with yourself, you will not be able to do so with others! ⚠️ 🚨 WATCH ME NEXT - ANTI-MAINSTREAM relationship advice: th-cam.com/video/bbdzsyuNrd8/w-d-xo.html - Stop chasing love and relationships: th-cam.com/video/UZ5t4XNJVcg/w-d-xo.html - How to raise your self esteem: th-cam.com/video/w27nenP7fsQ/w-d-xo.html
Yes, but no crying as a man has some very valid points. In studies they found out that no woman chooses a guy who crys a lot (surprise surprise 😅 ). Even the ones who say they find it attractive do not pick a man who crys out of desperation. But the women are not lying. They just imagine a guy which she already picked because she already found out the he is stoic, strong and manly. And that guy, she'd like to be emotional and would like him to cry.
@@patmanpatmansonthat’s because women are traumatized too, especially out there people who aren’t into this inner work. the way they treat another person who’s crying is the way they treat themselves deep down and how they’ve been treated when they’re down and feeling out of sorts. many women are feeling very unsafe on a daily basis, so you gotta understand we act from that place of fear. and what do we hold on to? safety. but it’s a safety that we don’t really know, it’s what we imagine WOULD keep us safe…. so, maybe a person or a man in this. are that is stoic and has it all under control would make us feel safer. that is not a real relationship, everyone is trying to get something out of everyone because we’re all so terrified inside and are acting out of that place. i hope you can see that, and not internalize it when other people around you, whether women or not, shame you in any way (even subtly) about experiencing emotions or being human you know. try to find people who are into this inner work, so women who are into this work. you can build something different if they’re also working on freeing themselves from their own conditioning. but if you go to “regular people”, the dysfunction is very much there and there isn’t much we can do that would change it in one fell swoop. there just isn’t, the world is big and there’s lots of wills at play. we just gotta choose our crowd, people who also value authenticity like you do if you want that kind of relationship where you as a man crying is met with affection and kindness by the woman that is your partner.
That first guy got to me. So I shut myself down for 11 years. No friends, no going out, definitely no girlfriend. But a few months ago I hooked up with a girl. She said it was just a casual thing. But we did it again and again and the things she said to me, the way she interacted with me, I was certain she had feelings. She even drunkenly said one night that she doesn't want me just for sex. Long story short, I eventually found out she was dating someone else. That's when she told me she'd never had feelings for me. But the point of that story was to tell you that before her, I had doubts about if I really truly cared about anyone. I was thinking I didn't. But she showed me it's possible. So I started trying to get closer to coworkers, get to know them, show them I cared. I've put in a lot of effort to do that and to be accepted in the group. But after months of doing it everyday, they still don't ask about me, initiate conversation with me, or invite me out to do things. Sometimes it seems like they're actively trying not to talk to me. So when Julian said "why do you need to receive care for the care you give? Why can't you just care?" My first thought was "because I don't actually care." Like Julian said, it's a manipulation tactic. He talks about letting go, breaking down those walls, and bringing back every part of your true self, but is that something I want? A part of me that generally doesn't care about most people?
Isn't it a paradox that he is insecure about himself but once he opens up he gets so much respect? Just proving that insecurities are just stories we tell ourselves.
This felt like he is explaining my relationship with my mother. Honestly, this is the first time I felt like someone actually understands. We all have experiences with our parents but hearing someone was going through something very similar is a different kind of feeling. Grateful for his honesty.
If you care for others and constantly lacking energy, but never get anything positive back, it's time to cut those strings. That can be applied to giving an ear for someone having relationship problems, for helping someone out with money (borrowed), for helping someone to buy furniture by helping with your car for transport. The sentence 'pure love is unconditional' or 'pure friendship is unconditional' is ONLY used by narcisstic people to squeeze out more from the nice ones til those break.
The Buddha was not narcissistic. He's one who encouraged inconditional love, which was one of the perfections of character he himself developed to its full. He called it "metta", inconditional loving kindness.
@@johnwaters777 The only way someone can have unconditional love is by loving themselves so much that they do not allow others to take advantage of them. I guarantee Buddha did not allow others to take from him for their own self-interest in the name of unconditional love. And in that way, he could have unconditional love for everyone while also loving himself so unconditionally that he cared for his wellbeing. Having a full heart towards people and also saying “nope that won’t work for me” is ideal for loving oneself. And that is important bc if we don’t love ourselves as much as our neighbors, we have missed the mark.
I know this guy! Serious props to him for being real and for taking responsibility. Didn't watch the entire thing but I resonated a lot with him. Sometimes, I feel like I'm alone or special in my problems when I'm not. Thanks to Julien and to him!
@@guy7524 This may be true but if he does the internal work, he doesn’t need anyone to care. And people who’re authentic and do care will eventually be attracted to him. While people who can’t even watch a video of him (who know him) will become irrelevant as he sails right on past him 😊
@@guy7524yes but what does he get from people caring? if you put the feeling you want on other people you will never feel whole when u dont have it. and even if you get them to care now u fear losing it. people will care about you sometimes when they themselves want it for their own best interest. they are caring about themselves and when u care about yourself u can care about others. but by putting someone else caring about you over yourself caring about u u will never feel enough because everything external is always changing. one moment a person wants to marry you the next moment ignore everything you say. so why do it for them when u can just do it for u. and by doing it for you you stop setting the standard for everyone caring about u all the time and u can actually appreciate them caring about you. caring to get someone else caring is im down here and u can move me up. and after you make me move u up you have to stay or i feel miserable. thats like your mother saying i love you but only wheen u love me aswell or else i will make u the reason for feeling miserable. in the end they dont care for you they care for themselves.
You need balls of steel just to admit those kinds of stuff and this man did it in front of a crowd, he's got balls of obsidian, Bravo brother bravo, that is courage 💪🏻
I understand the idea but when you give so much of yourself and receive nothing back but then you see people who give nothing and get so much love, it's a bit conflicting
@@chessoo Yea life is unfair this way. Even as kids some kids just accepted and appreciated in every way they exist, they just get simple lessons on why not to hurt others, steal etc and they're good to go. And some other kids are punished even for breathing. Giving is not so much about putting something in someone else's hands, but being someone that ppl like to be around. You may see they don't give anything to others, but there wouldn't be anyone around them if it'd be the case.
@@chessoo Learning to be okay with ourselves - with life, no matter if anyone likes or loves us back is true freedom. And in being okay with ourselves, we invite others to be okay with us too. I believe we come to earth all different soul ages and have different levels of challenges to undertake. Life looks quite unfair when a young soul has few lessons and someone who’s a much older soul has a seriously difficult life. We all came here to learn certain things. (If you believe this sort of thing 🙃😉
I love seeing another human that I can relate to in terms of getting their shit together, the way he answers with honesty gives me an immediate indication that he truly wants to improve.
You can't hate yourself into something you'll love. You can't improve what you can't own and accept, self acceptance is the stepping stone for one's current self towards a newer self.
I think a lot of people recognize themselves in this guy. Thanks for your good work Julian. You have the ability to explain and teach with the right words and energy. 🙏💪🙏
„You are the player AND the character” - this is freaking amazing. I’ve always struggled with being either one of another and been into the extremes of living my character, and after failing in it, going into spiritual, detached view, and then failing here, going back to the character, all over again and again. And both ways always made me equally unhappy. I’ve never thought about the perspective of mixing them both at one time, even though it’s so simple. That’s so enlightening to me. Thank you so much for that!!!
Man, I just experienced the most conscious and intense moment of epiphany of my life, thanks to one of the last sentences of this video where many things made sense, where Julien compares letting go of conditioning as letting go of the ropes that bind you, to so realize that your self-esteem is not tied to external conditioning, thank you very much Julien, I am learning a lot with you.
Wow! It's an absolute gold chest of value. Not dis-owning parts of myself, staying whole. Not attaching my selfworth to anything or anyone in life. Treat life as a video game. Feel being enough. Not getting addicted to the comfort zone autopilot. Letting go of all the lies I bought into. Hats off to Julien for these gems of wisdom!
When it sunk in that my self imposed resistance was basically me torturing myself compared to what my default ACTUALLY is, all my excuses didn’t matter anymore because there is no justifiable excuse for that
If there’s no justifiable excuse does that mean you’re a bad person or something? What is the point in making this distinction? ‘Excuse’ and ‘reason’ are nearly synonymous words, the only distinction is that excuses are reasons people don’t accept. Or that’s how I’ve thought about it. I relate a lot to what you wrote but I don’t understand what the implication of not having a justifiable excuse is. What are you supposed to do if you realize you’ve done something unreasonable?
We must take one thing in account here. If someone is asked on stage. One can be nervous. One can give the ‘demanded’ answer, ie “I’m affraid people will judge me.” But this does not have to be the case. This might just be the answer someone gives to ‘please’ the host. Then the person goes into a difficult loop to find answers for the rest of the session because the first response was not 100 percent cincere. Just a thought….
One powerful thing that I've found very powerful have powerful connections with others, is actually ironically my relationship with myself, and what kind of old patterns I'm willing to tolerate, and of course I've gotten to the point where like everyone we can all have old stuff come up to the surface, but for me personally. I've taken it upon myself to make a choice to never stay there. Let the pain come up, and simply decide to move forward with my vision. Pain does not define who I am. Once I realized this my connection with my self and others got much deeper, because they're actual connections grounded in both sides embodying who we prefer to be vs being connected in a way where the only reason we're connected is because of old patterns that we've both already been through. Great video Julien! Thanks for being one of the people that inspires me to post videos every single day! Much Love 🙏
It’s unfortunate people can’t feel how much respect others have for them. Because I know everyone here has massive admiration for this man for opening up this easily in front of so many people
Everything he opened up about down to his mother I was able to relate to to the T. glad he opened up that takes guts! props to him for being vulnerable
Very powerful and moving. That dude had multiple visible epiphanies, you helped him become aware of a massive set of feelings to let go of. That exercise where you regard your different parts as your kids/family was super powerful, your physical 'comedy' is getting better with every event. Great performance as always J 🔥👊
This video really caught my attention until the end. The realization and enlightement on that man's face was truly beautiful. Often times, we attach ourselves with our darkness within and think there is something wrong with us, when actually it's only a part of you that you need to acknowledge and let go of. Battling yourself isn't the way out of an inner conflict. It's pretty self-explanatory that inner conflict means conflict with oneself but what about having peace instead?
I'm 26 and this content I've found to be the most valuable for psychology and Ive been watching people from Jordan Peterson for a decade and Tony Robins, and Bob proctor, and Napoleon Hill. I'm already working on rebuilding my relationships with my kid darkness and the lot of em! Ha thanks Julien for making this free brother. Love ya man
I literally burst out laughing when I watched Julian beating up the darkness and parts of myself I also abuse. Joy and relief bubbled up into laughter as I realise I am not alone. And this is the human experience. Peace.
After 7 months straight of being high on weed i kina lost my self identity and attached it to "the high me" and didnt know who i were anymore 3 years have past and truly, because of you Julien, I am now the best version of my self i've ever been! thank you!
@@zendevil6965 i know bro that's thw worst feelibg ever. I mean yo try and better your self but yoy are physically disabled because of what you did to your brain What do you think of psychedelic drugs. I mean not regular use of course, like once every six months or so
@@zendevil6965 haha i only did weed bro, i am not about that drugs life, asking about psychedelics out of curiousity because of all the good things i've heard it does to people
I have huge respect for this guy. Respect man. You are brave and authentic. Take care. Also huge respect to Julien for being able to hold people accountable to be in the moment. Great Job!
Man, I've been a huge fan of your videos lately and they have helped me alot. I'm more grounded and I'm constantly reminding myself that I'm enough. I'm much more calm, social and less scared of things in life. Please make a visit to India. I wanna attend one of these seminars. Thank man ♥️
Once we realize we are all broken, we can then accept others shortcomings. Starting with our own. Unrealistic standards set us up for failure. Happyness is conditional, not to be confused with joy, that only can be achieved thru personal peace and acceptance. Taking ownership for our own mistakes, making them lessons instead,taking the sting out of self indictment.
While watching this I came to a dark conclusion, I like the work your doing and I feel it's absolutely necessary. I find it interesting that it's generally men that I see up on stage, and I'm reminded of Jordan Peterson saying how men in this world are highly depressed, undervalued, lonely, suppressed, worked hard, etc. I started thinking about what your work (Julian) really is about. Your message in the video is about making a single person feel ok and detached from what they should be in order to make themselves feel ok with who they are. Which In whole is exactly what you have to do in life. It's also a great way to make thousands of men feel more important then they could become. Reaching Destiny, giving life for their country, building their own house, making income to support a family, finding a mate in life. I see this darkness here where so many men (and women) in this world will potentially never reach their goals. (goals could even be interal values) You words give meaning to a person that might never amount to what they want within themselves. That's kinda fucked isn't it? Imagine if people didn't have someone to tell them about self worth through their whole lives, kinda brutal. It's pretty dark and depressing that you even have to stand up and help so many people with this, this world can really drag us down. It's fucking amazing seeing someone care. Much love.
Man, you have such a power to aim right and untie people's tongue to finally release interesting unspoken truth. I aim for the same ability as you but you're clearly next level.
Man does it takes some serious BALLS to go there in front of all those strangers and just open your entire soul and mind like that! Major props to that guy
great video Julien! I just love it when your talks break down to the fact that we are already high value and good enough. Everything we aspire to be, is already within ourselves. Just let it blossom and shine, let go of fear & doubt.
"Expectation is the root of all heartache",and i would add that when you do something good for somebody you just do it,love unconditionally otherwise its bisnis
The connection this guy has with his disciples is extraordinary love it You have achieved the biggest passion any human could have GIVE To your fellow man forgetting get something back
Man! This guy reminds me so much of myself, this incongruency in the way he was shaped, is so hard to see, not for others, but for one self, but then when you see it, it's like you knew that was the problem all along
Dear Asian bro, Thank you for helping teach me about me. Thank you for being honest and open - for helping me discover some of the darkness within myself.
Wow this means a lot! thanks for sharing. Maybe we should all share what our fears are. I am afraid that I will be played by someone I truly care about. I'm not afraid of being abandoned but I am afraid of living in a lie. Abandonment is temporary but the feeling of betrayal leaves a deep scar. Thus I am always looking behind my shoulder expecting something to get fcked up.
I also had a hard time with this after experiencing years of an emotional abuser who used my vulnerabilities against me. And also realizing that I allowed this abuse bc I wanted to be told I was all good and the abuser made me feel good about myself and that all of me was acceptable. The reality is that if we accept ourselves unconditionally and love ourselves, we don’t need anyone else to tell or show us we’re acceptable. And then we don’t allow emotional abusers in our lives bc we see through them as we need nothing from them. It all begins with us and our acceptance of ourselves.
Bc it’s his culture to strive for “ perfection” … it’s unrealistic but it’s STILL his culture that is consistently being reinforced for him …as the “ expectation” of & even for him.
you’re a rock star to me Julien! thank you so much for being a solid role model for men out there. men need to know and hear all these things as well, i find most popular male role models just keep everyone stuck where they are. even if they get possessions they’re still infected with the virus of “not good enough”. it means the world you’re doing this work and you also have a solid audience of men. and to any men out there doing this inner work, thank you for being brave. the real kind of brave. you rock!
I'm not sure if people have become lost, or if we are finding more of ourselves. It seems that we have been taught self hate, past generations dont even seem to notice how much they fight their inner demons. I hope we all grow for the better
Dude learned so much from this. The only thing that I thought of was if you are in abundance energetically, nothing to let go of "transparent to the light" lol - abundance in opportunities for travel, wealth, relationships, success. That's awesome, but I think a lot of people I meet in work environments and in public are struggling with lack. So I still see that lack pushing on the person who is abundant energetically. Even with a boss, like your boss could have more money, more everything than you but energetically they still feel lack, and you don't so they try to push you to lack subconsciously.
I think unless we tap into this realization and let go, we keep conditioning our own children, friends and people "we care about" in the same way your mother conditioned you, meaning not intentionally but unconciously. Cause our ego does not accept someone that challenges the weaknesses of us, we rather think it is better to create new versions of us, blind and crippled like us.
Don't say "I need to..." because that is projecting onto your ego. Say "this is good/bad for me because..." to manifest what is happening to you in the moment.
I'm motivated by security but its not enough to focus me in the present and I use self worth tied to success to push myself at work. I rationally understand this connection is not healthy, but I will lose motivation in the present without it.
I have a lot to work on. I might be moving at a turtles pace but i swear im trying. I have so many issues that have been evaded and ignored. I dont exactly know where my trust issues stem from. I never set out to hurt anyone, but when close family members set out to do what id never do to them it leaves a hole in my heart. Then when it comes to strangers im not particularly close with, the wall is up. To my future love. I will try my best to trust you. Even if you hurt me, ill still trust you. Ill hold on to that bond and cherish it. I wont let anyone get in the way of that.
I've watched the video and never looked at the comment section. And then I wanted to watch it again, saw those messages. Never seen so many people feeling the same, I was like this guy is totally me. And you know what, that is relieving. Really. I'm not alone. And what happened to us caused after a misbehaving mother. So the issue is clear and we have enough samples to examine the issue and see it's natural.
This is the one video I needed, thank you! Since I have long covid I learned to accept the present and goals for future I focused on like having more money or improve this and that because it's not good enough became meaningless to me. So I just accept the present and enjoy the present day by day, regardless how the situation looks like.
Relationships are about trust, so if you find yourself having to play detective all of the time, then it is time to move on. 💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
@@JulienHimself what youre doing here. Is it practice from the book: radical honesty? Like you let the other one see that their imagined fear is not real? It looks to me youre doing that
Great stuff!! It is like pressing a ball under water. At one point in your life you"ll get tired of the energy that is going into something that is actually hurting you while you thought is was a good thing to resist.
Until you develop a healthy relationship with yourself, you will not be able to do so with others! ⚠️
🚨 WATCH ME NEXT
- ANTI-MAINSTREAM relationship advice: th-cam.com/video/bbdzsyuNrd8/w-d-xo.html
- Stop chasing love and relationships: th-cam.com/video/UZ5t4XNJVcg/w-d-xo.html
- How to raise your self esteem: th-cam.com/video/w27nenP7fsQ/w-d-xo.html
👍
@@lorexgames 🔥👊
Thank u very good explained i nedded that im full enough right here right know im not broken 🙏
Whoever opens up is ultimately at the receiving end of others perspectives and options. Good or bad that's life 🌟💫
That's gonna be hard af
Don't feel ashamed to cry my brother. We all need it sometimes, despite how big and macho we may want to be.
Unconditional feeling is the way... 🙏
People need to know that men never cry because they are weak. If men cry it is because they are tired of being strong forever.
Yes, but no crying as a man has some very valid points. In studies they found out that no woman chooses a guy who crys a lot (surprise surprise 😅 ). Even the ones who say they find it attractive do not pick a man who crys out of desperation. But the women are not lying. They just imagine a guy which she already picked because she already found out the he is stoic, strong and manly. And that guy, she'd like to be emotional and would like him to cry.
@@patmanpatmansonthat’s because women are traumatized too, especially out there people who aren’t into this inner work.
the way they treat another person who’s crying is the way they treat themselves deep down and how they’ve been treated when they’re down and feeling out of sorts.
many women are feeling very unsafe on a daily basis, so you gotta understand we act from that place of fear. and what do we hold on to? safety. but it’s a safety that we don’t really know, it’s what we imagine WOULD keep us safe…. so, maybe a person or a man in this. are that is stoic and has it all under control would make us feel safer. that is not a real relationship, everyone is trying to get something out of everyone because we’re all so terrified inside and are acting out of that place.
i hope you can see that, and not internalize it when other people around you, whether women or not, shame you in any way (even subtly) about experiencing emotions or being human you know.
try to find people who are into this inner work, so women who are into this work. you can build something different if they’re also working on freeing themselves from their own conditioning.
but if you go to “regular people”, the dysfunction is very much there and there isn’t much we can do that would change it in one fell swoop. there just isn’t, the world is big and there’s lots of wills at play.
we just gotta choose our crowd, people who also value authenticity like you do if you want that kind of relationship where you as a man crying is met with affection and kindness by the woman that is your partner.
@@robertzigo2520no one cries because they are weak. they cry because they’re hurting
or sometimes because they’re overwhelmed with relief or happiness
Man I relate to that guy so much, props for his honesty!
Yes, MASSIVE respect to him! Takes a lot of courage and willingness! 🔥👊
All us men share a lot
That first guy got to me. So I shut myself down for 11 years. No friends, no going out, definitely no girlfriend. But a few months ago I hooked up with a girl. She said it was just a casual thing. But we did it again and again and the things she said to me, the way she interacted with me, I was certain she had feelings. She even drunkenly said one night that she doesn't want me just for sex. Long story short, I eventually found out she was dating someone else. That's when she told me she'd never had feelings for me. But the point of that story was to tell you that before her, I had doubts about if I really truly cared about anyone. I was thinking I didn't. But she showed me it's possible. So I started trying to get closer to coworkers, get to know them, show them I cared. I've put in a lot of effort to do that and to be accepted in the group. But after months of doing it everyday, they still don't ask about me, initiate conversation with me, or invite me out to do things. Sometimes it seems like they're actively trying not to talk to me. So when Julian said "why do you need to receive care for the care you give? Why can't you just care?" My first thought was "because I don't actually care." Like Julian said, it's a manipulation tactic. He talks about letting go, breaking down those walls, and bringing back every part of your true self, but is that something I want? A part of me that generally doesn't care about most people?
Anticipation of judgement is the root cause of all social anxiety
Hi Jeffy!
For sure! Agreed! I can relate 😅😢
That dude was amazing! How honest he was and you can really tell he is trying, I could identify a lot with him
Yes, massive respect to him! 🔥🔥🔥
Me too, I think I need to talk to Julien
Isn't it a paradox that he is insecure about himself but once he opens up he gets so much respect? Just proving that insecurities are just stories we tell ourselves.
"The more you feel at home within your body" - foundational to so many facets of REAL success 🙌 -Owen
Oh, yeah! 🙏
That's how confidence always feels. Just comfortable.
@@Balloonbot Yes!
This felt like he is explaining my relationship with my mother. Honestly, this is the first time I felt like someone actually understands. We all have experiences with our parents but hearing someone was going through something very similar is a different kind of feeling. Grateful for his honesty.
What's most personal is most universal! Never forget! 🙏
@@JulienHimself that's deep !
If you care for others and constantly lacking energy, but never get anything positive back, it's time to cut those strings. That can be applied to giving an ear for someone having relationship problems, for helping someone out with money (borrowed), for helping someone to buy furniture by helping with your car for transport. The sentence 'pure love is unconditional' or 'pure friendship is unconditional' is ONLY used by narcisstic people to squeeze out more from the nice ones til those break.
The Buddha was not narcissistic. He's one who encouraged inconditional love, which was one of the perfections of character he himself developed to its full. He called it "metta", inconditional loving kindness.
@@johnwaters777
The only way someone can have unconditional love is by loving themselves so much that they do not allow others to take advantage of them. I guarantee Buddha did not allow others to take from him for their own self-interest in the name of unconditional love. And in that way, he could have unconditional love for everyone while also loving himself so unconditionally that he cared for his wellbeing. Having a full heart towards people and also saying “nope that won’t work for me” is ideal for loving oneself. And that is important bc if we don’t love ourselves as much as our neighbors, we have missed the mark.
I know this guy! Serious props to him for being real and for taking responsibility. Didn't watch the entire thing but I resonated a lot with him. Sometimes, I feel like I'm alone or special in my problems when I'm not. Thanks to Julien and to him!
Seems like a cool-ass dude.
You know him but not even willing to watch the thing. The guy was right he just gives and no one cares.
@@guy7524
This may be true but if he does the internal work, he doesn’t need anyone to care. And people who’re authentic and do care will eventually be attracted to him. While people who can’t even watch a video of him (who know him) will become irrelevant as he sails right on past him 😊
@@guy7524yes but what does he get from people caring? if you put the feeling you want on other people you will never feel whole when u dont have it. and even if you get them to care now u fear losing it. people will care about you sometimes when they themselves want it for their own best interest. they are caring about themselves and when u care about yourself u can care about others. but by putting someone else caring about you over yourself caring about u u will never feel enough because everything external is always changing. one moment a person wants to marry you the next moment ignore everything you say. so why do it for them when u can just do it for u. and by doing it for you you stop setting the standard for everyone caring about u all the time and u can actually appreciate them caring about you.
caring to get someone else caring is im down here and u can move me up. and after you make me move u up you have to stay or i feel miserable. thats like your mother saying i love you but only wheen u love me aswell or else i will make u the reason for feeling miserable. in the end they dont care for you they care for themselves.
You need balls of steel just to admit those kinds of stuff and this man did it in front of a crowd, he's got balls of obsidian, Bravo brother bravo, that is courage 💪🏻
“Offering value to take value” is the trap so many people fall into for approval and love. Very powerful video!!! ❤️🔥🔥
Yes! 👌
I understand the idea but when you give so much of yourself and receive nothing back but then you see people who give nothing and get so much love, it's a bit conflicting
@@chessoo Yea life is unfair this way. Even as kids some kids just accepted and appreciated in every way they exist, they just get simple lessons on why not to hurt others, steal etc and they're good to go. And some other kids are punished even for breathing.
Giving is not so much about putting something in someone else's hands, but being someone that ppl like to be around. You may see they don't give anything to others, but there wouldn't be anyone around them if it'd be the case.
@@chessoo
Learning to be okay with ourselves - with life, no matter if anyone likes or loves us back is true freedom. And in being okay with ourselves, we invite others to be okay with us too. I believe we come to earth all different soul ages and have different levels of challenges to undertake. Life looks quite unfair when a young soul has few lessons and someone who’s a much older soul has a seriously difficult life. We all came here to learn certain things. (If you believe this sort of thing 🙃😉
@@samanthamariah7625what u mean old souls?
The fear of being better than other people is real that you find yourself dimming your light so you will be accepted.
I like how he said, "letting go isn't getting rid of it cause then you're resisting it!" So true and profound!
This guy was so vulnerable. Mad respect
I love seeing another human that I can relate to in terms of getting their shit together, the way he answers with honesty gives me an immediate indication that he truly wants to improve.
Yes, I have no doubt he's going to crush it! 👊
You can't hate yourself into something you'll love. You can't improve what you can't own and accept, self acceptance is the stepping stone for one's current self towards a newer self.
Yes! 🙌
or maybe return to the one and only real Self.
I think a lot of people recognize themselves in this guy. Thanks for your good work Julian. You have the ability to explain and teach with the right words and energy. 🙏💪🙏
Thank you! 🙏🙏🙏
The player instead of being the character in the game is life changing advice. Just gotta remind myself of it often :)
Yes! 🙏
„You are the player AND the character” - this is freaking amazing. I’ve always struggled with being either one of another and been into the extremes of living my character, and after failing in it, going into spiritual, detached view, and then failing here, going back to the character, all over again and again. And both ways always made me equally unhappy. I’ve never thought about the perspective of mixing them both at one time, even though it’s so simple. That’s so enlightening to me. Thank you so much for that!!!
Man, I just experienced the most conscious and intense moment of epiphany of my life, thanks to one of the last sentences of this video where many things made sense, where Julien compares letting go of conditioning as letting go of the ropes that bind you, to so realize that your self-esteem is not tied to external conditioning, thank you very much Julien, I am learning a lot with you.
Wow! It's an absolute gold chest of value. Not dis-owning parts of myself, staying whole. Not attaching my selfworth to anything or anyone in life. Treat life as a video game. Feel being enough. Not getting addicted to the comfort zone autopilot. Letting go of all the lies I bought into. Hats off to Julien for these gems of wisdom!
When it sunk in that my self imposed resistance was basically me torturing myself compared to what my default ACTUALLY is, all my excuses didn’t matter anymore because there is no justifiable excuse for that
If there’s no justifiable excuse does that mean you’re a bad person or something? What is the point in making this distinction? ‘Excuse’ and ‘reason’ are nearly synonymous words, the only distinction is that excuses are reasons people don’t accept. Or that’s how I’ve thought about it.
I relate a lot to what you wrote but I don’t understand what the implication of not having a justifiable excuse is. What are you supposed to do if you realize you’ve done something unreasonable?
25 minutes of pure facts. Brutal but honest. Thank you Julien for giving us so much value for free!!!
You're welcome! Glad this was helpful! 🔥👊
Its npt free, you are giving him a view that will be changed to dollar asshole.
This guy was completely conscious with himself & real. Thank you for this brother 🙏🏽
Yes, he crushed it! 🔥👊
As a Integral Coach myself, I really enjoyed this. It takes a lot of courage to be this vunerable, with an audoience, as this man was.
Right
We must take one thing in account here. If someone is asked on stage. One can be nervous. One can give the ‘demanded’ answer, ie “I’m affraid people will judge me.” But this does not have to be the case. This might just be the answer someone gives to ‘please’ the host. Then the person goes into a difficult loop to find answers for the rest of the session because the first response was not 100 percent cincere. Just a thought….
I did have that thought too like what if they are creating a problem to. Appease the prompt and owning it as there own problem hahaha.
I think he trusts Julien because he doesn’t have a relationship with him; he doesn’t expect anything from him and hasn’t been hurt by him.
One powerful thing that I've found very powerful have powerful connections with others, is actually ironically my relationship with myself, and what kind of old patterns I'm willing to tolerate, and of course I've gotten to the point where like everyone we can all have old stuff come up to the surface, but for me personally. I've taken it upon myself to make a choice to never stay there. Let the pain come up, and simply decide to move forward with my vision. Pain does not define who I am. Once I realized this my connection with my self and others got much deeper, because they're actual connections grounded in both sides embodying who we prefer to be vs being connected in a way where the only reason we're connected is because of old patterns that we've both already been through. Great video Julien! Thanks for being one of the people that inspires me to post videos every single day! Much Love 🙏
Why is it so hard to understand what you trying to say
I believe you have written something of value. But maybe go back and rework the writing bc I am unable to completely understand it 🤷🏼♀️
It’s unfortunate people can’t feel how much respect others have for them. Because I know everyone here has massive admiration for this man for opening up this easily in front of so many people
Aw I love this guy, so relatable, his vulnerability is really beautiful.
These talks have changed my life so much OMG.
So grateful for RSD. 💛🌟
Dude, this is the best content on TH-cam man, please never stop uploading this is pure gold!
I love him. How he's expressing is the epitome is what doing "the work" feels like.
Everything he opened up about down to his mother I was able to relate to to the T. glad he opened up that takes guts! props to him for being vulnerable
Very powerful and moving. That dude had multiple visible epiphanies, you helped him become aware of a massive set of feelings to let go of.
That exercise where you regard your different parts as your kids/family was super powerful, your physical 'comedy' is getting better with every event.
Great performance as always J 🔥👊
Thanks! 🔥🔥🔥
This man’s courage helps free everyone else just a little bit… amazing
This video really caught my attention until the end. The realization and enlightement on that man's face was truly beautiful. Often times, we attach ourselves with our darkness within and think there is something wrong with us, when actually it's only a part of you that you need to acknowledge and let go of. Battling yourself isn't the way out of an inner conflict. It's pretty self-explanatory that inner conflict means conflict with oneself but what about having peace instead?
One you get what you really want, you’ll forever be afraid of loosing it!!! WOW
I'm 26 and this content I've found to be the most valuable for psychology and Ive been watching people from Jordan Peterson for a decade and Tony Robins, and Bob proctor, and Napoleon Hill. I'm already working on rebuilding my relationships with my kid darkness and the lot of em! Ha thanks Julien for making this free brother. Love ya man
You should check out Loving On Purpose as well by Danny Silk. They have some good stuff.
“you weren’t put on this earth to justify your existence.” BARS BRUHHHH 😭
I literally burst out laughing when I watched Julian beating up the darkness and parts of
myself I also abuse. Joy and relief bubbled up into laughter as I realise I am not alone. And this is the human experience. Peace.
I feel The universe speaking through julian, living his purpose and guiding people in a positive direction
I agree 💯
After 7 months straight of being high on weed i kina lost my self identity and attached it to "the high me" and didnt know who i were anymore
3 years have past and truly, because of you Julien, I am now the best version of my self i've ever been! thank you!
@@zendevil6965 i know bro that's thw worst feelibg ever. I mean yo try and better your self but yoy are physically disabled because of what you did to your brain
What do you think of psychedelic drugs. I mean not regular use of course, like once every six months or so
@@zendevil6965 haha i only did weed bro, i am not about that drugs life, asking about psychedelics out of curiousity because of all the good things i've heard it does to people
I have huge respect for this guy. Respect man. You are brave and authentic. Take care. Also huge respect to Julien for being able to hold people accountable to be in the moment. Great Job!
Man, I've been a huge fan of your videos lately and they have helped me alot. I'm more grounded and I'm constantly reminding myself that I'm enough. I'm much more calm, social and less scared of things in life. Please make a visit to India. I wanna attend one of these seminars. Thank man ♥️
Amazing to hear! Glad my videos have been so helpful! 🙌
The advice in this video is incredible....really simplifies something that we can make so complicated. Thank you Julien!
Once we realize we are all broken, we can then accept others shortcomings. Starting with our own. Unrealistic standards set us up for failure. Happyness is conditional, not to be confused with joy, that only can be achieved thru personal peace and acceptance. Taking ownership for our own mistakes, making them lessons instead,taking the sting out of self indictment.
Takes a lot to bring presence to your emotions, let alone spill them to a full room. Hope he knows he’s a good man!
This video is on a crazy different level. Julien is insanely wise.
While watching this I came to a dark conclusion, I like the work your doing and I feel it's absolutely necessary.
I find it interesting that it's generally men that I see up on stage, and I'm reminded of Jordan Peterson saying how men in this world are highly depressed, undervalued, lonely, suppressed, worked hard, etc.
I started thinking about what your work (Julian) really is about. Your message in the video is about making a single person feel ok and detached from what they should be in order to make themselves feel ok with who they are. Which In whole is exactly what you have to do in life. It's also a great way to make thousands of men feel more important then they could become. Reaching Destiny, giving life for their country, building their own house, making income to support a family, finding a mate in life.
I see this darkness here where so many men (and women) in this world will potentially never reach their goals. (goals could even be interal values) You words give meaning to a person that might never amount to what they want within themselves. That's kinda fucked isn't it? Imagine if people didn't have someone to tell them about self worth through their whole lives, kinda brutal.
It's pretty dark and depressing that you even have to stand up and help so many people with this, this world can really drag us down.
It's fucking amazing seeing someone care. Much love.
I feel for and empathize with this guy. I hope you've had some breakthroughs and grown.
Good for this guy. This is a really valuable conversation that a lot of people can relate to
Man, you have such a power to aim right and untie people's tongue to finally release interesting unspoken truth. I aim for the same ability as you but you're clearly next level.
Man does it takes some serious BALLS to go there in front of all those strangers and just open your entire soul and mind like that! Major props to that guy
Yes! MASSIVE respect to him!
great video Julien!
I just love it when your talks break down to the fact that we are already high value and good enough.
Everything we aspire to be, is already within ourselves. Just let it blossom and shine, let go of fear & doubt.
"Expectation is the root of all heartache",and i would add that when you do something good for somebody you just do it,love unconditionally otherwise its bisnis
Absolute gems in this video. Props to Rocky, he seemed very open and willing to let go.
Julien is simply the best. no one gives better advice than him.
🙏🙏🙏
The connection this guy has with his disciples is extraordinary love it
You have achieved the biggest passion any human could have
GIVE
To your fellow man forgetting get something back
Julien really is the big brother all dudes need
Man! This guy reminds me so much of myself, this incongruency in the way he was shaped, is so hard to see, not for others, but for one self, but then when you see it, it's like you knew that was the problem all along
What you said about addiction to “lack” and relationship to the now really stuck with me.
Dear Asian bro,
Thank you for helping teach me about me. Thank you for being honest and open - for helping me discover some of the darkness within myself.
Issues with trust cause it becomes personal. Scared they will hurt me when I let them too close.
Wow this means a lot! thanks for sharing. Maybe we should all share what our fears are. I am afraid that I will be played by someone I truly care about. I'm not afraid of being abandoned but I am afraid of living in a lie. Abandonment is temporary but the feeling of betrayal leaves a deep scar. Thus I am always looking behind my shoulder expecting something to get fcked up.
I also had a hard time with this after experiencing years of an emotional abuser who used my vulnerabilities against me.
And also realizing that I allowed this abuse bc I wanted to be told I was all good and the abuser made me feel good about myself and that all of me was acceptable.
The reality is that if we accept ourselves unconditionally and love ourselves, we don’t need anyone else to tell or show us we’re acceptable. And then we don’t allow emotional abusers in our lives bc we see through them as we need nothing from them. It all begins with us and our acceptance of ourselves.
I feel this way, too. 😢 it's truly difficult to trust when you're on guard for the lies. Sending you a virtual 🫂
Bc it’s his culture to strive for “ perfection” … it’s unrealistic but it’s STILL his culture that is consistently being reinforced for him …as the “ expectation” of & even for him.
The dude is very genuine, I would be friends with him
you’re a rock star to me Julien! thank you so much for being a solid role model for men out there.
men need to know and hear all these things as well, i find most
popular male role models just keep everyone stuck where they are. even if they get possessions they’re still infected with the virus of “not good enough”.
it means the world you’re doing this work and you also have a solid audience of men.
and to any men out there doing this inner work, thank you for being brave. the real kind of brave. you rock!
I'm not sure if people have become lost, or if we are finding more of ourselves. It seems that we have been taught self hate, past generations dont even seem to notice how much they fight their inner demons. I hope we all grow for the better
Realising your relationship to the present moment really hit home. Great insights in this video 🙏🏻
Yes! Glad this was so helpful! 🙏
I teared up so many times cause i feel the same way man. These talks are incredible.
This guy is super brave. I'm not even trying to be sarcastic or funny in any way.
Dude learned so much from this. The only thing that I thought of was if you are in abundance energetically, nothing to let go of "transparent to the light" lol - abundance in opportunities for travel, wealth, relationships, success. That's awesome, but I think a lot of people I meet in work environments and in public are struggling with lack. So I still see that lack pushing on the person who is abundant energetically. Even with a boss, like your boss could have more money, more everything than you but energetically they still feel lack, and you don't so they try to push you to lack subconsciously.
I guess this is still caring too much about others and what they think...
This things should be taught in schools, colleges, and universities !!!
Wow. Kudos to the guest for his self awareness and openness. Kudos to Julien for his interpretation and presentation!
I think unless we tap into this realization and let go, we keep conditioning our own children, friends and people "we care about" in the same way your mother conditioned you, meaning not intentionally but unconciously. Cause our ego does not accept someone that challenges the weaknesses of us, we rather think it is better to create new versions of us, blind and crippled like us.
“Our ego doesn't accept someone that challenges the weaknesses of us.” quoatable👏
Don't say "I need to..." because that is projecting onto your ego. Say "this is good/bad for me because..." to manifest what is happening to you in the moment.
its refreshing to see men healing and standing in their masculine nature.
And embracing the feminine. There’s masculine and feminine in us all
The advice given during the last minute is absolutely phenomenal.
I feel this guy’s story, man. Good for him for being so honest! Proud for him!
I didn’t watch this video. Seeing clips of it on Instagram made me want to watch it. Love this guy opening up and the honesty he offers
Don't suppress inner darkness, but nurture it to become kind !!!
The video game analogy is one of the most insightful things I've ever heard. Simple and effective. Thanks for that Julien!
I'm motivated by security but its not enough to focus me in the present and I use self worth tied to success to push myself at work. I rationally understand this connection is not healthy, but I will lose motivation in the present without it.
Its not about getting something back, but if they care, it will be reciprocated.
I have a lot to work on. I might be moving at a turtles pace but i swear im trying.
I have so many issues that have been evaded and ignored. I dont exactly know where my trust issues stem from. I never set out to hurt anyone, but when close family members set out to do what id never do to them it leaves a hole in my heart. Then when it comes to strangers im not particularly close with, the wall is up.
To my future love. I will try my best to trust you. Even if you hurt me, ill still trust you. Ill hold on to that bond and cherish it. I wont let anyone get in the way of that.
The player/character analogy is golden
Was comparing myself so much to others and feeling down about myself, thank god I stumbled upon this video, one of the best gems on TH-cam!
Thank you! Glad it was helpful!
I've watched the video and never looked at the comment section. And then I wanted to watch it again, saw those messages. Never seen so many people feeling the same, I was like this guy is totally me. And you know what, that is relieving. Really. I'm not alone. And what happened to us caused after a misbehaving mother. So the issue is clear and we have enough samples to examine the issue and see it's natural.
Glad this was so impactful! Never forget: What's most personal is most universal! 🙏
@@JulienHimself probably I'm gonna get this as a tattoo. Thanks julian for everything 🌸🌼🫂 you are a remarkable person.
Dude this guy is such a good teacher
I finally make a distraction between being a pearson and me as a character. Thanks goes to you people!
This is the one video I needed, thank you! Since I have long covid I learned to accept the present and goals for future I focused on like having more money or improve this and that because it's not good enough became meaningless to me. So I just accept the present and enjoy the present day by day, regardless how the situation looks like.
Im really happy that despite i quit seeking woman for a while, i didnt quit this channel. Thank you.
🙌 Pulled the trigger on your program because I'm sick of the past repeating itself
Nice! Let TRUE TRANSFORMATION begin! 🔥👊
Relationships are about trust, so if you find yourself having to play detective all of the time, then it is time to move on.
💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Agreed! Check out this video that goes deeper on trust issues in relationships as well: th-cam.com/video/eCe5mBNin_A/w-d-xo.html
Amen this guy has guts to face his demons
What if there's nothing to fix?
I've never considered that before. 🤯
Thankyou ✌️
Being truest to yourself
Yes! Never forget that you are in a relationship with yourself!
@@JulienHimself what youre doing here. Is it practice from the book: radical honesty? Like you let the other one see that their imagined fear is not real? It looks to me youre doing that
Really helpful words when said to accept all aspects of oneself, including what we consider the “dark sides”.
Great stuff!! It is like pressing a ball under water. At one point in your life you"ll get tired of the energy that is going into something that is actually hurting you while you thought is was a good thing to resist.