Fenna, I have been watching the part for the third time now where you said "don't feed the limerence" (18:52). This made me think a lot about what I am actually doing. After five horrible years in limerence I was thinking that if I continue like this (feeding the limerence), I will be in the same limerent state in another five years. And that is what I absolutely do not want to be. So, thank you for your clear advice and your help. I don't want to feed the monster any more. I really want to be free. I am always looking forward to your videos!
'The only contact you have is she presses a 'like button' 😂 brilliant and so true, dopamine from a like notification, how i can relate 😅. Love your videos so spot on!
Mine told me he "wouldn't like to, doesn't feel like, doesn't WANT to talk to me" I tried finding out then why and I left an overly emotional goodbye message where I told him I'm sorry he decided this way and I'll always cherish the times we met.... he left me on read and after a month of not talking I blocked him on Facebook but left a communication channel for him but he blocked me there too lmao... If he asks you to stop talking like he did for me in my case I didn't feel like a goodbye would've been necessary because when somebody already tells you they never want to talk to you again, then why bother disturbing them again?
Excellent video, Fenna 👍I find your livestreams very useful and I learn new things from them that I haven't from your usual videos. I like the point about the desire to contact LO is not about LO, but about wanting to avoid going through withdrawal. I like when you read out letters as it makes me feel like I'm not alone in this. It is coming up to 4 weeks of no contact but it feels twice as long. My fantasies about LO have changed from sexual desire to fantasising that we are close, purely platonic friends. Is this also feeding the limerence? 🤔
Hi Pomchi! As long as you stay in NC and know that this is wishful thinking its okay to let your mind wonder off a bit, see it as a transit phase in the grief. But keep going Pomchi ! You can do it
I don't see why you would need to give any message, or say goodbye at all.. i have been ghosted by my LO about 1000 days ago, and have gradually come to give myself the closure :) would see no point messaging them ever, it's like you say -- don't play with fire
Hey, I noticed that... this contact is no longer healthy from me so I will stop this. I will not contact you anymore and I ask you not to contact me anymore. Thanks for this respect and I wish you all the best. Thanks for this video
QUESTION.... what if it's a bit of all 3? What if you are the LO and the person experiencing the limerance recognizes the limerance but "likes the torture"? We were friends first, now we're coworkers that work in close proximity for long periods at a time. Resigning from the job is the absolute last option. As the LO, I hate putting him through the push/pull feelings. He's very strongly attached. He's a really nice guy and a person that is important to me, it just can't be a romantic relationship. It's quite a difficult and complicated situation.
@@followingfenna I agree. Thank you so much for your response. Your content is so very helpful. I'm sure many people are benefiting from all the information you provide.
Ik wil wel met je delen dat ik 2 weken geleden het contact heb verbroken met ik vermoed ' an avoidant' of zelfs iemand die gewoon er meerdere vrouwen op na hield. Ik voelde me sterk aangezien ik een punt zette. Nu mis ik de persoon vreselijk, lijkt het juist nu meer een obsessie te worden. Hij spookt constant door mn hoofd, zn fysiek, ontzettend aantrekkelijk voor mij. Het idee dat ik hem nu nooit meer ga zien, voelen. Niet te doen bijna. Er is geen weg terug voor mij. Dan gaat mn eigen geloofwaardigheid eraan. Maar dat is killing. Heb hem maar 4 keer gezien, gevoeld etc..Tijdens het contact nog voelde ik mij een stuk rustiger. Ik volg je al een tijdje hoor. Wat goed dat je dit doet♥️🩷♥️🩷
Wanted to give you some uplifting message, did not succeed at that. All I can give you is my biggest compassion, because I know hoe it feels. It's very very painfull.
Fenna, I have been watching the part for the third time now where you said "don't feed the limerence" (18:52). This made me think a lot about what I am actually doing. After five horrible years in limerence I was thinking that if I continue like this (feeding the limerence), I will be in the same limerent state in another five years. And that is what I absolutely do not want to be. So, thank you for your clear advice and your help. I don't want to feed the monster any more. I really want to be free. I am always looking forward to your videos!
'The only contact you have is she presses a 'like button' 😂 brilliant and so true, dopamine from a like notification, how i can relate 😅. Love your videos so spot on!
Thank you, we all can relate, unfortunately 😔
I wish I said goodbye in a mature way. LO asked me to stop texting him it hurt because I thought we were friendly.
I hope you can give yourself some compassion. You did what you thought was good. :)
Mine told me he "wouldn't like to, doesn't feel like, doesn't WANT to talk to me" I tried finding out then why and I left an overly emotional goodbye message where I told him I'm sorry he decided this way and I'll always cherish the times we met.... he left me on read and after a month of not talking I blocked him on Facebook but left a communication channel for him but he blocked me there too lmao... If he asks you to stop talking like he did for me in my case I didn't feel like a goodbye would've been necessary because when somebody already tells you they never want to talk to you again, then why bother disturbing them again?
Excellent video, Fenna 👍I find your livestreams very useful and I learn new things from them that I haven't from your usual videos. I like the point about the desire to contact LO is not about LO, but about wanting to avoid going through withdrawal. I like when you read out letters as it makes me feel like I'm not alone in this.
It is coming up to 4 weeks of no contact but it feels twice as long. My fantasies about LO have changed from sexual desire to fantasising that we are close, purely platonic friends. Is this also feeding the limerence? 🤔
Hi Pomchi! As long as you stay in NC and know that this is wishful thinking its okay to let your mind wonder off a bit, see it as a transit phase in the grief. But keep going Pomchi ! You can do it
Love you, sister Fenna! You're so bright and witty.
Haha thank you much !!
I don't see why you would need to give any message, or say goodbye at all.. i have been ghosted by my LO about 1000 days ago, and have gradually come to give myself the closure :) would see no point messaging them ever, it's like you say -- don't play with fire
Hey, I noticed that... this contact is no longer healthy from me so I will stop this. I will not contact you anymore and I ask you not to contact me anymore. Thanks for this respect and I wish you all the best.
Thanks for this video
I tried doing that. Took 16 years to cut the cord.
I call it the healthy goodbye text :)
Many of us have childhood attachment wounds
Yes we do indeed
This is very important for me. Thank you
I've got to see her tomorrow.. 6 long years & counting I've been banging my head against a brick wall with this. 💔
I hope you feel better!
I do actually, thank you. Now I don't have an excuse anymore to not provide better live streams . Thank you 😊
Could you make a video about having experienced limerence several times in life?
Absolutely!
Most limerents are serial limerents
I also was a big A. Robarge Fan.
"Was?" What do you mean "Was?" Youre not now?
Fenna, you're a beauty.
Thank you 😊 🙏 💓
QUESTION.... what if it's a bit of all 3? What if you are the LO and the person experiencing the limerance recognizes the limerance but "likes the torture"? We were friends first, now we're coworkers that work in close proximity for long periods at a time. Resigning from the job is the absolute last option. As the LO, I hate putting him through the push/pull feelings. He's very strongly attached. He's a really nice guy and a person that is important to me, it just can't be a romantic relationship. It's quite a difficult and complicated situation.
That's indeed complicated, just keep clear boundaries
I don't think anyone likes the torture, we're just addicted.
@@followingfenna I agree. Thank you so much for your response. Your content is so very helpful. I'm sure many people are benefiting from all the information you provide.
Hi Fenna, can you share a link to video of Ellen Robarsh, I can't find this channel or I missed up the name maybe
It's Alan Robarge :)
Thank you fenna
You are so very welcome 🙏 🤗
Haiii.lieve Fenna, Beterschapjes❤❤
Dank je wel lieve Vanessa! Uit vlaanderen ?
@@followingfenna nee uit Hilversum🩷
Ik wil wel met je delen dat ik 2 weken geleden het contact heb verbroken met ik vermoed ' an avoidant' of zelfs iemand die gewoon er meerdere vrouwen op na hield. Ik voelde me sterk aangezien ik een punt zette. Nu mis ik de persoon vreselijk, lijkt het juist nu meer een obsessie te worden. Hij spookt constant door mn hoofd, zn fysiek, ontzettend aantrekkelijk voor mij. Het idee dat ik hem nu nooit meer ga zien, voelen. Niet te doen bijna. Er is geen weg terug voor mij. Dan gaat mn eigen geloofwaardigheid eraan. Maar dat is killing. Heb hem maar 4 keer gezien, gevoeld etc..Tijdens het contact nog voelde ik mij een stuk rustiger. Ik volg je al een tijdje hoor. Wat goed dat je dit doet♥️🩷♥️🩷
Het is normaal dat het eerst erger wordt voordat het beter wordt, volhouden hoor, je gaat jezelf zo dankbaar zijn in de toekomst !
@@followingfenna 🙏🙏🙏
. . . never mind.
Statistics show that around 70% of people over 60 are in a relationship. So why would you not meet someone ? Good luck to you Y!
Oh, of course; I’m but a digit -silly me, Fenna.
Wanted to give you some uplifting message, did not succeed at that. All I can give you is my biggest compassion, because I know hoe it feels. It's very very painfull.