An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one asks for a pint. The second asks for half a pint. The third asks for a quarter pint. The bartender stops them and pours 2 pints and says "Know your limits"
3 mathematicians walk into a bar. Bartender asks: "So do you all want a beer?" First mathematician: "I dont know." Second mathematician: "I dont know." Third mathematician: "Yes."
@@wevertonalves1651 Yes it does. If you can travel faster than light, you can traverse a closed timelike curve and arrive before you left. It isn't as simple as just going faster than light, but the connection is still solid. Certainly more solid than Schrodinger and that cat, given he was really using the cat as a way to redicule certain views of quantum mechanics and not to demonstrate the theory.
@@Sam_on_TH-cam the speed limit of universe is the speed of light so when you get close to it time slows down to make you not get past the limit. So you can't get past the speed of light
@@mohammadshakeri721 That is one way to explain it. There are several explanations that are mathematically identical. The joke still stands. Nothing says you can't go faster than light, just that you can't cross the light barrier. If you are going faster than light, light speed becomes a lower speed limit. That said, it seems nothing actually DOES go faster than light, even if special relativity allows for it.
@Hasti Thakkar except yall and electrical engineers do negative flow of electrons for those circuit calculations. As a chemistry major when I took physics 2 that pissed me off lol. Why not just make it the positive flow of electrons?
@Hasti Thakkar Ok, if you weren't being sarcastic, here is the joke: scalars are numbers. If I were to say that I moved 10 units away from a point, it just means I moved 10 units in any direction. Scalars do not have a directional component. But if I were to say I move 10 units in the +X direction, it means that I moved this ten units in the X axis, to the right because it's in the positive. A vector has direction. As a result, you can't cross multiply a set of vectors and scalars because you don't know the directional component of the scalar. The second part of the joke is that mosquitoes carry diseases. And anything that can transmit diseases is referred to as a vector. Then a mountain climber scales mountains, colloquially; a scalar. Kind of ruins the joke when it needs to be explained, but just so you know the joke, there it is :)
@Hasti Thakkar think of it this way. Vectors have extra specific things attached to it. It's a different "species" than a scalar is. Cross products are only applicable to vectors and other vectors. They simply aren't compatible!
@Hasti Thakkar - Ahahahaha sorry mate, only just saw your replys. Yeah no worries at all. Doesn't ruin it for those that already have the info, but if they don;t they can open the comments and find out why now. So it's a good thing! (This I saw by how many likes the joke has had since you asked for it to be explained, more people like it now!)
Heisenberg was driving his car. He knew his position, but he didn't know his exact velocity. Then, two officers approached him, and said, "Sir, you were driving at 100km/h! That is way too fast" "Great... Now I am lost" Heisenberg replied.
I saw an expanded version of this joke and it's gold. Eisenberg, Schrödinger and Ohm are in a car. The get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks. "Sir, do you know how fast you were driving?" Heisenberg smiles and says "No, but I know exactly where I am." "You were doing 120mph in a 30mph zone." Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries "Great, now I'm lost!" The officer finds this suspicious and orders him to pop open the boot. He checks the boot, "You do know you have a dead cat back here?" "We do now, asshole!" shouts Schrödinger. The cop moves to arrest them all. Ohm resists
the officers were only able to approach him after his car stopped, at which point his velocity became apparent(0m/s). So technically, he was lost even before the police officers told him what speed he was driving at
There once was an old Lady called Wright, Who could travel much faster than light. She left one day, In a relative way, And returned on the previous night.
That's a nice limerick. There was this old man from Iraq who had an awful big sack it dragged on the floor and got stuck in the door It left a trail from Baghdad and back. Although that one is not physics related...
My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him. As he died, he kept insisting for us to, "be positive," but it's hard to go on without him.
@@dozza3005 I know that, but I definitely won't make a joke out anyone's death no matter how funny. And this wasn't even funny. The 'be positive' phrase could've been used in some better context than his father's death.
@@AndrewDotsonvideos To be honest! It lacks the punchline. And in truth,big brains have a terrible sense of humour(kinda get offended over silly things).
A math teacher walks down the street until he sees the following graffiti: I ❤ Sex "Those filthy Marauders!" The teacher called, he took a spray and edited: I ❤ S(ex)dx "Always, they always forget to add the dx."
Three students having a physics exam. The question is "whats faster: light or sound?" Student 1 says light and the pleased professor asks him for a good reason. The student says "when i switch on the tv, i see the screen before i hear the program." Class failed. Dismissed. Student 2 says sound and the baffled professor asks how he could think that. The student says "when i turn on my radio, the sound is already there before i see what channel im on." Class failed. Dismissed. Student 3 says, well light of course, and the relieved professor again asks for a good explanation. The student says: "the eyes are closer to the source."
i think id be eye contacting the one i think i can make laugh? like simon never laughed i think and kelly and andrew laughed at everything. so u gotta look at em to score more.
I’m still doing my physics degree ...so I come every year to watch this again only to know what they were talking about and I feel proud when I do 😂😂 feel like I am part of this world😆 Edit: it's my final semester guys time went so fast now I get them all I was laughing so hard🤣
K Ima try my hand at making up bad comedy Higgs walked into a bar depressed, the bartender asked what's wrong, he replied that interacting with people in the field weighed on him... ...Ima stop...
Saw this on tiktok: what’s the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes? . . . . . Chemistry jokes are periodically funny while physics jokes have more potential 😂😂 (sorry for my lame ass sense of humor)
Heisenberg drives his car way too fast so he gets stopepd by the police. Officer: Do you know how fast you were driving? heisenberg: No, but I know where I am.
So I went to the doctor today and he told me "Pick a star sign any star sign" so I said "Capricorn" he said "nah you've got cancer" JK I did not get cancer
Christian Doppler was wondering why the baseball looked blue.
Then it hit him.
woo, finally one i can understand xD
Christian Doppler was wondering why his girlfriend was red. Then, he realised...
Wow 👌👌
I dun geddit.
@@jonathanstupidcheesespaghetti username doesn't check out
So this is what physics majors do in their dorms not party but tell relatively funny jokes.
"relatively funny" I see what you did there.
Dor ms ahhaha
DID YOU JUST
Much better than partying and raving to crap music that y'all call EDM...I'd rather listen to heavy metal and rock-n-roll...
@@rubansrirambabu7771 niga wtf u talking about?
A physicist was walking past a building when he looks up and sees a guy about to jump. He yelled out. Don't do it, you have so much potential
hilarious
Hahaa, Good Oxygen Neon!
Thorium Astatine's Sulfur flourine Uranium Nitrogen*2 Yttrium!
lmao
😂😂😂
Oh yes the dark humourrss
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one asks for a pint.
The second asks for half a pint.
The third asks for a quarter pint.
The bartender stops them and pours 2 pints and says
"Know your limits"
3 mathematicians walk into a bar.
Bartender asks: "So do you all want a beer?"
First mathematician: "I dont know."
Second mathematician: "I dont know."
Third mathematician: "Yes."
Hockeypaul I wonder how many people actually get that...
@@boomerzilean haha
Lol
@@boomerzilean yeah i didn't get it 😰
Why did Mr Ohm marry Mrs Ohm?
Because he couldn’t resistor
Lmaooooo I lost my shit 😂😂
Hahahaha lol
Aaaaaaaaa
Why did mr voltmeter marry ms voltmeter?
He saw potential
😂😂😂😂
Did you hear about the man who cooled to absolute zero?
he is 0K now.
NebunuUploads Niceeee
😂😂😂
Haha
Pretty good
Reading this made me so angry like beyond comprehension
Einstein walked into a bar at 101 percent the speed of light. The bartender looks at him an says: "Aren't you a little bit too young to be here?"
RagingTom No, faster than speed light doesn’t equate to the ability of nature to travel in the past.
Einstein leaves the bar at 200% the speed of light. Then he walks in.
@@wevertonalves1651 Yes it does. If you can travel faster than light, you can traverse a closed timelike curve and arrive before you left. It isn't as simple as just going faster than light, but the connection is still solid. Certainly more solid than Schrodinger and that cat, given he was really using the cat as a way to redicule certain views of quantum mechanics and not to demonstrate the theory.
@@Sam_on_TH-cam the speed limit of universe is the speed of light so when you get close to it time slows down to make you not get past the limit. So you can't get past the speed of light
@@mohammadshakeri721 That is one way to explain it. There are several explanations that are mathematically identical. The joke still stands. Nothing says you can't go faster than light, just that you can't cross the light barrier. If you are going faster than light, light speed becomes a lower speed limit. That said, it seems nothing actually DOES go faster than light, even if special relativity allows for it.
Don't tell noble gas jokes
You'll get no reaction
That was actually a good one....
But you will
*Na* . This ain't funny
😑(no reaction)
Good one! The comment section is another world of physics, no, science jokes😆
I don't even study physics wtf am I doing here and laughing
Physics is just complicated maths
@Hasti Thakkar I mean i dont study it because im seventeen years old
This is the perfect description of me watching the video
@@jayknowles2146 "physics is maths in motion." -me, 2014.
Im so proud of myself for coming up with that. :P
@Hasti Thakkar except yall and electrical engineers do negative flow of electrons for those circuit calculations. As a chemistry major when I took physics 2 that pissed me off lol. Why not just make it the positive flow of electrons?
Wjat do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?
Nothing, you cant cross a vector and a scalar
O.... M.... G.... Someone paid attention during Intro Physics :D
@Hasti Thakkar Ok, if you weren't being sarcastic, here is the joke: scalars are numbers. If I were to say that I moved 10 units away from a point, it just means I moved 10 units in any direction. Scalars do not have a directional component. But if I were to say I move 10 units in the +X direction, it means that I moved this ten units in the X axis, to the right because it's in the positive. A vector has direction. As a result, you can't cross multiply a set of vectors and scalars because you don't know the directional component of the scalar.
The second part of the joke is that mosquitoes carry diseases. And anything that can transmit diseases is referred to as a vector. Then a mountain climber scales mountains, colloquially; a scalar.
Kind of ruins the joke when it needs to be explained, but just so you know the joke, there it is :)
@Hasti Thakkar think of it this way. Vectors have extra specific things attached to it. It's a different "species" than a scalar is. Cross products are only applicable to vectors and other vectors. They simply aren't compatible!
@Hasti Thakkar - Ahahahaha sorry mate, only just saw your replys. Yeah no worries at all. Doesn't ruin it for those that already have the info, but if they don;t they can open the comments and find out why now. So it's a good thing! (This I saw by how many likes the joke has had since you asked for it to be explained, more people like it now!)
Sloth FPV Omg this joke has so many layers to it.. Amazing!
How do merging black holes greet each other???
With a gravitational wave!!!! :-)
underrated
Good one😂😂😂🤣🤣👍👍
Oh my god😂😂😂😂
Good
I really like this one 👍
The bartender said, hi what would you like to drink.
The Tachion walked into the bar
KillGui007 NOICE. Ima steal that one
heh, not many will get it though
Only 26D string theorist :p
And of course some Italians for some years :p
Ok this one got me 😂
Heisenberg was driving his car.
He knew his position, but he didn't know his exact velocity.
Then, two officers approached him, and said, "Sir, you were driving at 100km/h! That is way too fast"
"Great... Now I am lost" Heisenberg replied.
Heisenberg jokes are the best.
they used this one in big bang theory 😂
What?!!😵
I saw an expanded version of this joke and it's gold.
Eisenberg, Schrödinger and Ohm are in a car. The get pulled over.
Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks. "Sir, do you know how fast you were driving?"
Heisenberg smiles and says "No, but I know exactly where I am."
"You were doing 120mph in a 30mph zone."
Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries "Great, now I'm lost!"
The officer finds this suspicious and orders him to pop open the boot. He checks the boot, "You do know you have a dead cat back here?"
"We do now, asshole!" shouts Schrödinger.
The cop moves to arrest them all.
Ohm resists
the officers were only able to approach him after his car stopped, at which point his velocity became apparent(0m/s). So technically, he was lost even before the police officers told him what speed he was driving at
Whats does a ship and light have in common?
They both travel at c
Better said than written
@@shambosaha9727 yup
@@shambosaha9727 if he wrote c instead sea
But at least he tried
@@tonyth9240 fineee I'll write c
There once was an old Lady called Wright,
Who could travel much faster than light.
She left one day,
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.
Asher Flanagan What?
That's a nice limerick.
There was this old man from Iraq
who had an awful big sack
it dragged on the floor
and got stuck in the door
It left a trail from Baghdad and back.
Although that one is not physics related...
Fergie aka DJ Screw RIP | If you travel faster than light time can go backwards
Asher Flanagan I first read that in a Stephen Hawking lecture. What a great limerick
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older.
My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him.
As he died, he kept insisting for us to, "be positive," but it's hard to go on without him.
Cursed joke
Good grief!!!
It's not a joke
@@foolishgruntigluana7041 B+ is a blood type, it's a joke buddy
@@dozza3005 I know that, but I definitely won't make a joke out anyone's death no matter how funny. And this wasn't even funny. The 'be positive' phrase could've been used in some better context than his father's death.
I once asked my lab partner if he had any sodium bromate. He said Na BrO
OMg that is so funny!
NaBrO is actually Sodium Hypobromite. Sodium Bromate is NaBrO3.
I wonder how your lab partner reacted
@@soumilaggarwal3392 I guess when you joke about chemistry you got to find the right balance
This video combined my two favourite things, physics, and bad jokes. This was beautiful hahaha
Michael Edwards Thanks for the comment! I tried to make sure the jokes were original
@@AndrewDotsonvideos To be honest!
It lacks the punchline.
And in truth,big brains have a terrible sense of humour(kinda get offended over silly things).
Force carrier of friendship = Huggs boson
Lol also corona carrier though
*Donald Sheahan* Dude you should have way more likes because that that was both funny and wholesome 😂❤️
Shroedinger wanted to open a box to see what was inside. Curiosity killed the cat.
Alpie Internet would you mind if I... write that down.
I m not sad cat was already dead though.
I am not saying it wasn't alive..to be specific.
How academics call something "Boring" :
Human sciences: Elementary !
Mathematics : It's Trivial !
Theoretical Physics : It makes sense !
I agree on the mathematics part
An example: Riemann zeta function have many trivial zeros
@@AdityaKumar-ij5ok I thought it was infinite. idk many seems finite to me. Maybe the glass is half empty...
That's how mafia works
@@AlchemistOfNirnroot well, infinite is indeed many
@@ДмитроПрищепа-д3я Infinity isn't a number - it's a concept.
So a proton and a neutron walk into a bar, the neutron asks the bartender, "how much for a drink" the bartender replies..."for you...NO CHARGE!" XD
Get out
Proton + neutron = (1+) charge
oH wOw sOmeOneS pLayED fALlOut 3
kWatt
@@XPlaneAviation haha i didnt even notice good catch
Fermion 1: "Hey can I borrow your shoes?" Fermion 2: "No way, we don't have the same psi's."
69 likes nice
50% cringe, 50% funny
Perfection!
Perfectly balanced as all things should be.
Karan Pillai r/expectedthanos
Question: are these jokes in mixed state or superposition state?
@@ajx9698
Superposition state. XD
Its the law of humourodynamics
That last frequency joke was so funny I was laughing so hard, my stomach hertz...
A math teacher walks down the street until he sees the following graffiti:
I ❤
Sex
"Those filthy Marauders!" The teacher called, he took a spray and edited:
I ❤
S(ex)dx
"Always, they always forget to add the dx."
Explain this
@@lololol559 the teacher thought the S was a integral
@@lololol559 S is integral sign and dx is actually full syntax of integram S ( )dx
@John Doe +c is added after integration if u add it before hand then u create an extra variable dependant term.
God damm math guys. It's funny.
Three students having a physics exam. The question is "whats faster: light or sound?"
Student 1 says light and the pleased professor asks him for a good reason. The student says "when i switch on the tv, i see the screen before i hear the program." Class failed. Dismissed.
Student 2 says sound and the baffled professor asks how he could think that. The student says "when i turn on my radio, the sound is already there before i see what channel im on." Class failed. Dismissed.
Student 3 says, well light of course, and the relieved professor again asks for a good explanation. The student says: "the eyes are closer to the source."
For everyone that can't breathe 'cause they've been going through the comments for too long, here's a space where you can calm down.
it's interesting to see how everyone looks to a specivic person, this tells you whose approval they find most important
So Kelly and Andrew need to go out
Oh wait
i think id be eye contacting the one i think i can make laugh? like simon never laughed i think and kelly and andrew laughed at everything. so u gotta look at em to score more.
The quantum mechanic is the best!
Nah it's kind of obvious what he would say after the "How do you call someone that works on small cars", but it was a clever joke tho
can't tell if Kelly is the most fun-loving or just has the least bodily control 😂😂
An electron caught by police and asks:"why u have two passports?? "
Electron:I have dual indentity
Marvel: infinity war is the most ambitious cross over ever.
Light: hold my beer.
I’m still doing my physics degree ...so I come every year to watch this again only to know what they were talking about and I feel proud when I do 😂😂 feel like I am part of this world😆
Edit: it's my final semester guys time went so fast now I get them all I was laughing so hard🤣
gz bro keep workin
Everywhere I go I keep seeing this:
"Heisenberg might have been here."
K Ima try my hand at making up bad comedy
Higgs walked into a bar depressed, the bartender asked what's wrong, he replied that interacting with people in the field weighed on him...
...Ima stop...
I'm gonna steal that one XD
That was funny
A photon checks into a hotel
The hotel clerk- may I help you with your luggage sir.
The photon - “no thanks. I am carrying light
You interact weak with the broson
Why is it pointless to divide by zero or infinity?
You can't differentiate between the two.
Hm...
Someone explain
@@fmjjjjn7510 Which part, the differentiation?
@@tryAGAIN87 yea
In the world full of stress and strain
Be my young's Modulus
A neutron walked into a bar and asked about the prices
The bartender said "for you, no charge"
I watched this to relieve myself of the pain of Stephen Hawking's death, it almost worked, thanks
What is Schrodinger's cat's favorite theory??
The string theory
@Hasti Thakkar cats like to play with strings
What is schroedingers cats favorite book quote?
"To be, or not to be, that is here the question"
That’s just like one joke in the video, and it’s pretty bad.
@@alexandramuller9055 lol
That's better!
Quantum ducks quark quark oh man dat hertz me :( lol
Saw this on tiktok: what’s the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes?
.
.
.
.
.
Chemistry jokes are periodically funny while physics jokes have more potential 😂😂 (sorry for my lame ass sense of humor)
I've got another one
Doctor: Are u here for an eye test?
Patient: Yes how did u know?
Doctor: Because u entered through the window instead of the door
Not physics related but funny
Nahhhh
Hehe
simon has an aesthetically pleasing mustache
He looks like Mr. Beast, but with a moustache
@@masterwoeful9470 he looks like Mr beast and mario
This cracked me up so bad.... I thoroughly enjoyed it .... Also I was actually studying Physics when I got the notifications
Darafshan Scarlet really glad to hear feedback like this! I’d like to make more of these funny videos.
Lim g-> 10m/s^2 (physics)= engineering
Lim engineering -> g(physics) = 9.81m/s²
Heisenberg drives his car way too fast so he gets stopepd by the police.
Officer: Do you know how fast you were driving?
heisenberg: No, but I know where I am.
A neutron walks into the bar and asks "How much for a drink?"
The bartender says, "For you, no charge."
I'm not even a Physics major, but I laughed at all these jokes 🤣
One hydrogen atom said to the other “I lost an electron”
The other one replied “are you sure”
The first one said “I’m positive”
Why did the parking lot have such a high magnetic flux density?
There were a lot of Teslas.
Guy 1: what did you learn about energy last lesson?
Guy 2: Oh nothing. We just got some work done
A mathematician had a problem, but a but physicist found a solution.
The mathematician said no it, it was too complex
I might not be a physics student, but even as an economics student, i find this hilarious. Thanks for the laughs guys, and girl. :D
I had searched for physics’ gold but found a physics’platinum 192
I would have laughed in every joke to let them think I know physics
😂😅
I bet they too are in peer pressure when they dont get it
The engine-ear just made me facepalm...
Well it feels good to see Friedrich Neitzche finally happy.
You were so into the girl
All VODs who wouldn't be tho?
All VODs beautiful girl plus likes physics, a very rare and awesome combination
Haha you called it!
As in literally?
t'was palpable
The bartender says. We don't serve your kind in here, you'll have to leave.
A time traveler walks into the bar
SO IS NO ONE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT DUDE LOOKING LIKE A BRITISH VERSION OF MR BEAST????
Einstein comes into a bar at 90% of the speed of light, and the bartender says “Why do blue?” 🥁🛎️
Watching this instead of studying for my physics test tmrw
Why couldn't the cop catch the overspeeding electron?
Coz he knew how fast he was going
i love how awkward this whole thing is
What do you need to say to open Chamber of Secrets?
print("Hello World")
(If you don't get it, it's written in Python syntax).
So I went to the doctor today and he told me "Pick a star sign any star sign" so I said "Capricorn" he said "nah you've got cancer"
JK I did not get cancer
The Taylor series joke was gold
physics major who barely passed class: what are they talking about?
The guy in Grey Sweater looks like Mr. Beast with a Moustache.
Just discovered these and love them! I can’t wait for grad school to be this nerdy 😂
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar...
And doesn't.
Dear god this is where Big Bang Theory got its inspiration.
Q: How did you now those two were superpartners?
A: Because they were lepton and slepton.
my apologies.😳
Q: When are superpartners like beds?
A: When they're lepton and slepton.
(much better)
What does a bride never get tired of wearing? Joule-ry.
OK this one's a chemistry one..
A Chemistry Lab is like a Big party;
Some drop the Acid,while others drop the *BASE* 😎!!
The fucking zoom in on her saying "Hertz" killed me
What kind of pet leads a double life? Schroedingers cat
What type of relationship are blackhole's into?
Singularity
8:38 The best joke ever haha
i feel like the guy with the mustache are gonna sing skecher
"You interact weakly with the broson"
The more I study Relativity Theory, the tensor I get!
Thank you for this video full of amazing bad physics jokes.
"Once you go black you never come back"
Was the best one
Wow. Coming back to this two years later and it's still good. Still had a couple chuckles lol. Please, make another one!
These are the kinds of jokes that I would laugh at not because they're funny, just to prove to everyone around that I understand them😂😂😂
I physicist walks into a bar. The punchline of this joke is trivial and is left as an exercise for the reader.
I feel sorry for Kelly, he actually had smart jokes.
The comments are more hilarious then the video
I didn't know how atoms worked,
So I called a quantum mechanic.
Nerd hangouts are a blast.
When electron travels , it book two seats.
Why did omega wear shades.
Because he thought it made him a Coulomb
Einstein won't be WALKING at 99 % of light's speed
What is hot, liquid and commutative?
An Abelian soup!
I started uni and im having Analysis classes..... NOOOOOOOOOOO