Why You’ve Not Met the Right Person (Yet)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 มิ.ย. 2024
  • ►► Navigate the Modern Dating Landscape, Avoid 'Situationships', and Find the Beautiful & Lasting Relationship You Want at. . .
    → www.DatingWithResults.com

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    I post new love life advice for you every weekend.

    Here’s a common problem I hear,
    You feel ready for a relationship. You’ve worked hard to improve yourself and you have high standards for the person you want to be with long-term . . . but no one you date meets your standards.
    I know it can be so frustrating-but this feeling can lead to some dangerous mindsets that get in our way of finding love . . . often without us even realizing it.
    So in today’s video, I’ll show you 3 powerful mindset shifts that will help you attract the right person faster so you can avoid self-sabotage and burnout as you search for the love you’re looking for.
    Excited for you to see this one. Leave me a comment and tell me what you thought!
    Matthew x
    ►► FREE Video Training: “Dating With Results” → www.DatingWithResults.com
    ▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect With Me… ▼
    Blog → www.howtogettheguy.com/blog/
    Facebook → / coachmatthewhussey
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    ▼ Chapters ▼
    0:00 - 0:54 - The Feeling That Something’s Missing
    0:54 - 2:04 - The Challenge of Finding the Right Teammate
    2:04 - 2:41 - When Your Standards Have Gone Up
    2:41 - 4:18 - Mistake #1 - Valuing the Wrong Things in People
    4:18 - 6:34 - A Good Candidate for a Relationship
    6:34 - 8:52 - Mistake #2 - We Have Low Standards About the Right Things
    8:52 - 12:00 - Mistake #3 - Basing Our Decisions on What Other People Think
    12:00 - 13:39 - Chemistry Is a Very Personal Thing
    13:39 - 15:00 - Trusting Yourself and What’s Right for You

ความคิดเห็น • 547

  • @bossg2817
    @bossg2817 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +119

    When I like them they don't like me, when they like me I don't like them.
    -Story of my life

    • @Skarrier
      @Skarrier 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      The ones you like sees you as you see the people you don't like. Improvement is the only way here

    • @zaram131
      @zaram131 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      This is my story too. It’s so hopeless!

    • @rainiceskates185
      @rainiceskates185 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Same here i am not attracting ones i like😅

  • @mandywoodward251
    @mandywoodward251 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +583

    I’m at the stage of giving up. I don’t think even you could find someone for me. 😂

  • @Liz-wz8dh
    @Liz-wz8dh 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +258

    I am so happy that Matt addressed emotional stunting. This is one of the most common things I find with people I try to date. They're just not in a good enough place to date ANYONE successfully even if they really want to.

    • @JDfaith2024
      @JDfaith2024 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Exactly

    • @rajashreechakraborty747
      @rajashreechakraborty747 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      If you're into Indian men, you can try Indian matrimonial websites where you can date to marry. Having dated both Indian and American men, I've realised the avg Indian man is more emotionally available and seeking long term commitments. But that's a me perspective. Could be different for you.

    • @Diarrheagod
      @Diarrheagod 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Most people don’t spend the time to truely work on their inner self when single…idk why… that’s the prime time to do it. Most people just wanna run from themselves

    • @lisakaz35
      @lisakaz35 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I resemble that remark.

  • @crystalmendoza5727
    @crystalmendoza5727 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +146

    Im 34 and am working on accepting I am simply not meant to have that. I’ll just focus on being successful and maybe adopt in my 40’s. It’s a strange world at this point, stay sane out there. ✌️

    • @vizzo1138
      @vizzo1138 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      16yrs and couldn't find a single person
      *eye roll*

    • @Gej890
      @Gej890 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      How sad

    • @flexster5385
      @flexster5385 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      Just because it hasn't happened for you yet doesn't mean it won't happen ;) Let's not draw conclusions about our futures. Sending love

    • @diezuckerbackerin5112
      @diezuckerbackerin5112 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@flexster5385it also doesn't mean it will happen.

    • @viiiRA_
      @viiiRA_ 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I'm curious as to why you believe that?

  • @Mariam-qu9hm
    @Mariam-qu9hm 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +121

    Nobody dies of being single but a lot of people died because they were with the wrong person.

    • @Rut-vi7iz
      @Rut-vi7iz 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      Actually, loneliness is very hard on one's physical health and stress level.

    • @autoclearanceuk7191
      @autoclearanceuk7191 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Having sexual chemistry with someone does not mean they are not a criminal or drunkard.

    • @kdc6884
      @kdc6884 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Cope

    • @JDfaith2024
      @JDfaith2024 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Actually that’s not true. Loneliness can kill. I know I’m going through it. It’s crushing inside when you have no one and no support.

    • @kullererbsenbucher4672
      @kullererbsenbucher4672 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@JDfaith2024 I'm very sorry to hear that but why does it have to be a relationship? why not focus on making lovely friends for a while? You can be lonely in a relationship too.

  • @caricreate2208
    @caricreate2208 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    I know people in my life that have found their love, REGARDLESS of age. What matters here, and only that, is attitude. The people who found love are in their mir twenties or even sixties and they have gone through a lot of pain to arrive at this point. They have been cheated on, abused, neglected and ghosted. Yet they decided to not give up and fight through the pain to arrive somewhere where they could call their life fulfilled again, and feel confident and secure within themselves. And furthermore, they maintained trust in themselves and the universe, attracting the positive. They’ve found each other on dating platforms, through class reunions or birthday parties. It is never too late, the only thing you gotta do is have trust and never. Become. Bitter.

  • @ckl5801
    @ckl5801 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    Attraction vs compatibility….great point!

  • @sbeth82sc
    @sbeth82sc 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    I'm so grateful I came across this particular video, ESPECIALLY during the holidays when it seems very challenging to be alone after a breakup or other circumstances. I'm really thankful for this continued content & it's really helping me immensely in my progressive dating life, many thanks♡

  • @cindyjenkins9154
    @cindyjenkins9154 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    This makes so much sense out of where I’m at in life right now. Thank you Matthew Hussey.

  • @julievanzile2482
    @julievanzile2482 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    I was super excited about dating at first after my divorce I waited a very long time. I did a little and now I'm not excited anymore it's stressful and depresses me. I figured once I feel hopeful again I'll try.

  • @helpstraykg7131
    @helpstraykg7131 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    I will never ignore the chemistry, chemistry is awesome, just don’t fall too quickly. But appreciate chemistry

  • @traci9813
    @traci9813 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +117

    This is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I think it’s even harder when you’re 48 and realize your whole life you’ve been rinse and repeating the same patterns. But I’m trying to believe and hold onto faith that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and the lessons and awareness came when I was ready to listen. Thanks for all of your help Matthew 🙏🏻❤️

    • @iriehiphopgirl
      @iriehiphopgirl 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Keep embracing that feeling because you are! Some people go through life miserable because they don’t see the detrimental patterns, and they stay in crappy relationships pining away for someone that they won’t get because they won’t take the necessary steps because it’s unfamiliar or “too hard”. I’m 40 and am just realizing why I attract what I do, and even though I feel like I’m lagging in the relationship sector of my life, I’m also trying to trust this is exactly where I should be. You got this!

    • @traci9813
      @traci9813 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@iriehiphopgirl thank you!! This means a lot to me, and hugs and blessings to you too! ❤️‍🩹💪🏻

    • @01happykat
      @01happykat 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      At 44, I'm trying to console myself by saying I'm exactly where I should be, but it's hard when I look around and am reminded everywhere I turn of all that I've missed out on. I keep looking ahead, but it's hard when I think about all the bad choices I've made and all the mistakes I've repeated.

    • @navalfa7291
      @navalfa7291 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      "This is exactly what I needed to hear" vs. You need to hear the Truth..

    • @ModelJames13
      @ModelJames13 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@01happykatHow do you know it's your fault?

  • @flexster5385
    @flexster5385 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    Great video Matt! You keep it real whilst also leaving us with a sense of hope

  • @laftbranding
    @laftbranding 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    Thank you! I feel very empowered by this video, especially the bit at the end where you emphasise the importance of self-trust in this journey.

  • @jenniferyork2391
    @jenniferyork2391 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    It’s futile. So happy I am fine alone! My God, there’s soooo much to discover in this world and so many ways to help others…and live a fulfilled life!!!! I see people so miserable in their relationships. Its sad. So amazing to be living an authentic life, happy and single!!

  • @Dmo12618
    @Dmo12618 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +33

    Once again, thank you Professor Hussey. While I watch your videos I feel like I’m in a classroom full of lovely, adoring, well meaning people, hanging on your every word. It reminds me of my art history classes in Uni - a sea of perfect young girls. At least that’s what I thought they were, back in my late teens and early 20s. There I was, comparing myself to people I had no real clue about. 40 years later I’m still that insecure girl, but then again I’m not. marriage, widowhood, children, empty nester, amazing career and stepping back by choice. When I hear people say “my standards are now higher”, maybe it’s more they have learned to open their eyes, heart and brain to accept themselves and realize they are WORTHY as they always have been. Life gets in the way of that self perception which obviously affects how we relate to potential partners. In my only foray into crush land, I emerged single, a bit emotionally bruised, but so appreciative of the learning curve. I still think the guy is lovely and I have no ill will towards him. I accept my role in muddying the waters, having unreal interpretations of his intentions. Your words have helped me see the responsibility that I have to bring my worthy self to the table. I am guilty of flying the “Unloveable” flag - cue The Smiths. It’s comfortable, goes well with wine, coffee and rainy lonely days.I have the clothes for every season! Now I’m ready to say I want companionship, kindness, adventure and tenderness and perhaps that means love. I have put away that flag mostly, walking on a new gang plank. I still have that wardrobe but accessorize with new found self respect and the Rolodex of wisdom you have helped me find…. And that guy out there wherever he is better like Morrissey! Matthew - you provide such a service to people. THANK YOU!❤

    • @karenblack2869
      @karenblack2869 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @dmo12618 : you just described me to a "T". Entirely. And we're the same age. Great wardrobe, beautiful little home, retired and for the first time finding the space and time to embrace the greater wisdom now. We are still learning, still hopeful and figuring it out. Which makes me honestly pretty happy with myself, and you should be also. Hugs!!

    • @Dmo12618
      @Dmo12618 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@karenblack2869 hugs and best wishes to you! I guess we’re both at a stage of life where we can be grateful and accept ourselves for the amazing ladies we are! 😉🙌🏻

    • @karenblack2869
      @karenblack2869 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @dmo12618 Yes!! Totally. A month ago I ended a 17-month relationship with a man who confounded me so badly that I ended up going down the Thais Gibson rabbit hole of attraction styles and determined that he was a dismissive avoidant - and that I ended up having anxious avoidant tendencies *because* of his actions!! If you haven't perused her videos here I might suggest that you do. I can tell you for sure that I will be asking some specific questions on 2nd or 3rd dates from now on! I don't really want to end up alone but I will not settle ever again. Life is too short and I'm smarter now!!

    • @jstanders6973
      @jstanders6973 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Fabulous comments here. Feeling the same at 54. Julie 🌹

    • @Dmo12618
      @Dmo12618 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@jstanders6973 thanks! Fly your flag at any age🥰

  • @EMuro-wu7uy
    @EMuro-wu7uy 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I've taken a break to work on myself. It's awesome to work on this. Chemistry is good, but consistency, and quality are what will help someone go the distance. Making that person your best friend is even better.

  • @Florida_gyrl
    @Florida_gyrl 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    He is so right when he talked about other people judging the person you are interested in. YES! This has happened to me a couple of times. My godmother can be pretty judgmental and she has never ever met any of the men I have been interested in and all of a sudden they are all wrong for me and I should not give any of them a chance. Yep! These people are out there. She may mean well I’m sure she does but she does not know these men. How can she give me an unbiased judgement of if they would be great partners for me or not?

  • @TheSoundofTanay
    @TheSoundofTanay 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    As a guy, I really appreciate you, Matthew. You've helped me through so many struggles of my own with relationships and heartbreak. I'm at a point in my life where even though I'm young (26), I feel so 'done and dusted' with dating. I know my standards are high, and I simply don't wish to settle. At the same time, I crave being in love with someone.
    Thanks for all your words, my man. Hope I'm lucky enough to find and keep love again.

    • @ModelJames13
      @ModelJames13 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You better hurry up and find a wife in your 20's while you have the chance. 😎

    • @TheSoundofTanay
      @TheSoundofTanay 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'd rather be happy with a long-term partner than rush into marriage honestly! Better to be alone for the right reasons than to be with someone for the wrong ones. @@ModelJames13

  • @musical_0713
    @musical_0713 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Ahhh, this video came at the perfect time...I was so confused for the person whom I'm seeing right now, because of his height and 1 more thing which is not even important for a good relationship I said No to him, I'm friends with him from last 14 years, actually he's my best friend but I never thought about him romantically. Few months ago he proposed me but I was confused and I said No, he's the person who make me the happiest, he's the person with whom I am the happiest and I love myself a little more, he's the kindest soul I have ever met... This video cleared my mind and now I'm clear what I have to do now... Thank you so much.... ❤❤❤

  • @mahimaagrawal4182
    @mahimaagrawal4182 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    Hi Mathew, congratulations on your wedding 🎉🎉🎉

  • @tenacious1
    @tenacious1 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Mannnn you're bowling up my alley! Thx Stacy. One. I've raised my standards bc God has changed me now it seems I have interest in fewer women, now. I'm taking notes. Thanks. Also I just noticed a ring on your finger...Congrats!😊

  • @user-hc3we8zy1w
    @user-hc3we8zy1w 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you! As always, amazing advice and information! Also about chemistry, it can work in the opposite direction too. Amazing chemistry at first, and then as you learn more about the person and see the person in new situations and experiences, that chemistry can being to fade or disappear all together!

  • @JDfaith2024
    @JDfaith2024 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    This is exactly what I’m going through and completely relate. It makes me incredibly sad inside and I don’t want to continue feeling this way in life but also don’t want to lose faith. I’m 41, successful in a career, and a good person. I think I value normal things like honesty, open communication, emotionally available, transparency, similar values and life goals, integrity, etc. and I need chemistry im a passionate person. But is all this too much to ask for?? I have so much love to give and the pain of still not finding the one and fear of growing old alone and missing out on so much more is crushing. 😔. I’m always putting on a smile and brave face trying to just keep moving forward embracing life but humans aren’t meant to be alone for years.

    • @delawarehistory1675
      @delawarehistory1675 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Speaking as a 41 year old man; probably the biggest hurdle is not being able to realistically have children. A lot of guys have a longer time to decide on that; and as a 41 year old man, I haven't given up hope, and so a woman my age, doesn't work. Your career generally doesn't matter to most men who have their own careers. I'd prefer a woman making $40K who is financially responsible over a woman making $150K and having much higher financial expectations. The higher you go up the corporate ladder, the less options you will have for a guy who is equal or above you financially; and those guys will generally be dating......YOUNGER.. Also- the older I've gotten the more I've realized how hollow careers are and people who are hyper focused on selling theirs souls for a tiny bit more money; scare me.

    • @musicgal9830
      @musicgal9830 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Maybe you could open yourself up to dating single fathers if unable to find a suitable man that is your age or older. I’m not saying to give up, but maybe broaden your search - provided you don’t mind considering this.

    • @delawarehistory1675
      @delawarehistory1675 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@musicgal9830 I personally think dating single fathers and single mothers as a childless person is very tough. You get attached; but they aren't yours. You help them financially, but they aren't yours. The relationship ends, and you never see them again. Their biological parent/ex is usually in the background. Its all the reasonability of parenting but none of the rights. Its a bad deal no matter how you slice it.

    • @JDfaith2024
      @JDfaith2024 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@delawarehistory1675 I shouldn’t be punished because I do well in a career. I worked hard but never jeopardized that over love. I could care less how much money a man makes as long as he’s happy and motivated. Please don’t make assumptions. I want my best friend and lover to make memories and grow old together. What matters most to me is finding him and if WE together decide to have a child at 41 then wonderful but if not then it will be ok.

    • @JDfaith2024
      @JDfaith2024 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@musicgal9830thank you 😊 oh yes I have done that lol most men my age are divorced with kids. I’m ok with that. I’m very open minded to all that however if he’s emotionally unavailable because he’s still comparing and living in the past I don’t deserve that. No one does. And that’s been a common problem. And many times these men don’t want marriage again. I won’t sacrifice that part of me. I deserve marriage to a stable man.

  • @giannishen
    @giannishen 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    What do I have to do to get you? Haha!
    Thanks a lot for sharing, really great job!
    I wish you a happy Christmas holiday and great coming year! 👍🎅🙌❤🎁🎄🎉

  • @helensanderson7092
    @helensanderson7092 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I've given up. I was in a relationship with a man who claimed he was single but was, in fact, married. He called me his "girlfriend," which was a joke. I wasted too many years on him and he told me to many lies. So now I've given up

  • @rachaelclaire5437
    @rachaelclaire5437 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Such good advice. My last relationship who I felt truly compatible with ended because he cared how his friends & family thought of us. Some his family and a couple of his friends did not like us being together. He cared so much for their approval it eventually destroyed us. I could not stand that he did not defend our love. He told me I was not wanted I his family. My self worth was detrimentally affected by this. I wish Mathew had been on my radar back then.

    • @amazinglife0222
      @amazinglife0222 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I feel we had a similar relationship. Sucks when people are judging you without KNOWING who you are at all. So much projection... not fair.

  • @viltewilliams
    @viltewilliams 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    im 20 years old and your videos have really helped be become stronger and able to express how I feel.

  • @user-th8gi9mi1j
    @user-th8gi9mi1j 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Love this advice! It’s a great guidance to dating life and finding the one

  • @user-sf4uw3dz1q
    @user-sf4uw3dz1q 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I really love your relationship advices and your ideas, I appreciate your work. God bless matthew.

  • @user-qv6sw5de8o
    @user-qv6sw5de8o 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I totally feel that First Lady who work on her self 10 years and still single and no faith now or hope to find love

  • @ariesange77
    @ariesange77 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I definitely agree with the points you’ve made, and it’s something I’ve been working on. But I’m also finding that the men have very high expectations. As a woman in her mid to late 40s, it has been my experience that men these days also expect the Instagram/fitness model-looking women. I know that might not be the case for all the single men, but it seems to be a large proportion of the ones I’ve come across since becoming single over the last 3 years.

    • @markhemming1423
      @markhemming1423 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes, most men want a woman who is in good shape as it’s a sign that the women takes her physical health seriously. Men don’t have it easy though, women expect them to be confident and have social status.

    • @agentnukaz1715
      @agentnukaz1715 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well I can tell u I'm a 28 yr old man and I find older women more attractive for some reason. You don't need to be a model but should be a healthy weight. I think guys in your age range rather target younger women unfortunately

  • @stephenbruce4298
    @stephenbruce4298 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    12:01 I agree that chemistry is a very personal thing. However I also believe that chemistry can and should be built. If there is a basic level of attraction between two people and they’re willing to explore and work on their relationship then their chemistry can and will improve and expand.

    • @JohnSmith-hv6ks
      @JohnSmith-hv6ks 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      women go on and on about the spark or chemistry. The spark is only for an instant. While chemistry will eventually fizzle out and become a stable element. But stable is boring for them

  • @ameliasavage4307
    @ameliasavage4307 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Thank you Matthew this really help me and I love watching your videos 🙂

  • @elainegeber4604
    @elainegeber4604 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I am so looking forward to receiving your book. I believe those nuggets of wisdom will propel me onward and upward. ☺️

  • @cheristringer9485
    @cheristringer9485 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    “It takes time for people to know your value”

  • @lisakaz35
    @lisakaz35 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Decided better to not care so I'm ambivalent. Listening to this is kinda academic since as a person with a mobility disability it's not like I can go out and look. Only one person I ever wanted to want me but that was before I lost a lot of normalcy. So, it is what it is.

  • @bethandalaska
    @bethandalaska 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you Matt! Another great video with excellent points!! I recently went on a date with someone that isn’t even sure he’s looking for a relationship… so despite the fact that we actually seem have “chemistry” and a good comfortable vibe… he’s not in the same place as me regarding relationship seeking. And for me to continue to pursue that would be risking the formation of an “anxious attachment” to an “avoidant/dismissive type of man.” And that’s not good!! 😂 Secure relationship style is the only type I want moving forward 💚❤️

    • @misterrr7
      @misterrr7 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      thats why some men are not honest and lie about wanting relationships othervise you are honest on dont get pussy because of that

  • @TheOlzee
    @TheOlzee 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Before I even watch the video a big answer is “luck”. Plain and simple. On with the video…

  • @LoraG
    @LoraG 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Loving your videos, Matthew. Thank you for them ❤

  • @justs7605
    @justs7605 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This year I rearranged my whole life to make space for a relationship. Therapy, the work, a healthy job, choosing better, work life balance and self love and not much has changed. I'm still single... I give up.

    • @ModelJames13
      @ModelJames13 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      First you need to ditch the "therapy". 😎

    • @user-cz5lj2vx1f
      @user-cz5lj2vx1f หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Don'
      t give up. Findig love is a mix of patience & luck. Its NT "instant" ---and we live in an instant sOciety. Hang in! Keep REACHING OUT!

  • @Donecece
    @Donecece 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you Matthew, you're just in time

  • @lucasgust7720
    @lucasgust7720 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is pure gold.

  • @majestyk8654
    @majestyk8654 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you Matthew! 🥹❤️

  • @eml3077
    @eml3077 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This was more helpful than I expected

  • @joshb7326
    @joshb7326 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +98

    As a "kind, conscientious, respectful" single guy, its really fustrating that many women say they want this, but their actions completely contradict this with their choice of partners. Hello, im here waiting quietly for a lady to notice my value

    • @MsGuitars666
      @MsGuitars666 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      It is frustrating; I believe that is the part of healing the women need to do in this world. Learn to be more self loving and assertive, letting real love in and set boundaries and make space for healthy anger. So they don’t feel attracted to the unhealthy men who need to develop the exact opposite traits. Love is out there, it truly is. And it is also within ourselves :) even if the ladies don’t notice, you certainly can.

    • @mumscookedfood2214
      @mumscookedfood2214 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      On the other side, sitting quietly won't bring you a lady. Your actions will! Just saying...too many men doing nothing, testosterone check might be a good idea!

    • @silentvoice4970
      @silentvoice4970 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Then stop sitting around doing nothing. Doing nothing reaps nothing.

    • @joshb7326
      @joshb7326 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@mumscookedfood2214 You think I havnt tried that seriously?!?!

    • @joshb7326
      @joshb7326 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@silentvoice4970 I have a Masters degree, I work in wildlife conservation as a data analyst, I don't just sit around doing nothing.....

  • @eml3077
    @eml3077 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I've had a weird life and never had a long-term relationship like only flings here and there in way. I'm 28 and I haven't had the most positive dating experiences so far. When he explained the unique chemistry thing it's for what feels like the first time I feel a tad hopeful about romance. I used to think chemistry was just 1 thing but maybe I've been mistaken all along!

  • @kathyingram3061
    @kathyingram3061 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    ~This is EXACTLY what i needed today!!!~

  • @anhpam9205
    @anhpam9205 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Matthew, I haven't watched for quite some time so was glad to see you again. You look great as usual, and also noticed your wedding ring! My very best wishes to you and a very lucky lady, to have such a great guy for her husband. Congratulations!! ( I'm a 66 year old divorced woman fo rtoo many year sno an have had a rough time dating with very long 'dry' spells. Your advice is good for all ages.Thanks!

  • @pedrojorgepereiraeco4348
    @pedrojorgepereiraeco4348 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Uhouuu!!! Sooo much amazing insights ❤️

  • @kayleighwall3139
    @kayleighwall3139 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for this, it really helped x

  • @justinjrahman
    @justinjrahman 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Thank you again brotha. The energy shift has been happening. This video tied it in. This translates to everything in life attracting better things because we’re shifting towards it ourselves

  • @innajoy6508
    @innajoy6508 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you so much for this work

  • @dhm8483
    @dhm8483 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I am going thru what Stacy are experiencing ! Its sounds exactly my life.

  • @nancyrentas443
    @nancyrentas443 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

    I just want a kind , loyal man and I don’t want to get married unless I find him. But it’s not happening so I decided to stay alone I been alone 7 years every guy I date act like my children when they was 5 . Men need to grow up too not just us woman are the problem. Men see a good woman and run to the bad one.

    • @raymondmasullo3386
      @raymondmasullo3386 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      And women need to stop ignoring or swiping left on the good men out here and then crying "Where are all the good men?" on TH-cam. Like you, many men are checking out, too. We can only be rejected and ignored so many times before we just decide it's not worth it and just step away from the game. That's what I've done.

    • @JohnSmith-hv6ks
      @JohnSmith-hv6ks 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      women chase the guys who never need to improve because they naturally attract women with their confidence.

    • @Rut-vi7iz
      @Rut-vi7iz 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      ​@JohnSmith-hv6ks John, I hate to burst your bubble, but to us, there is no such thing as a man who doesn't need to improve. That's a lie you tell yourself. 😂

    • @JohnSmith-hv6ks
      @JohnSmith-hv6ks 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Rut-vi7iz i never said that. Guys who can easily get girls are the ones that never has the drive to improve. the question is how long that relationship lasts. he can easily move to the next girl

    • @Rut-vi7iz
      @Rut-vi7iz 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@JohnSmith-hv6ks agreed

  • @eireneM
    @eireneM 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I am so damn tired! Will I ever meet my person? I actually tried to lower my standards. Guess what, it didn’t work out and he dumped me. Ouch. But he was right, you know, it can’t be love if you feel like you’re lowering your standards, it’s like ok, let it be you, whatever.

  • @amandakanofski8408
    @amandakanofski8408 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Hobbies are important.

  • @StorytellingHeadshots
    @StorytellingHeadshots 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This video is excellent! ❤

  • @kheicee
    @kheicee 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    its been 21 days since my ex and i had contact and honestly i thought it was gonna get better but i find myself still clinging on to him. i just wish this pain to end. this is my 5th relationship and i fought so hard for this because i wanted him to be the one only for him to give up on what we had because apparently it was easier for him to do that than to fight and strengthen our relationship. its honestly so draining and frustrating to start all over again. at this point i'm convinced that i'm never going to find true love. i'm tired of always giving my all - time, love, patience, effort, and care only for people to just wake up one day and decide to leave as if you meant nothing.

    • @mishan3150
      @mishan3150 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      That's exactly what I've experienced this month.
      I thought he was the one and he thought that too
      We loved each other so much and we wanted to get married but when things got hard he abandoned me bcz it was easier. This broke my heart because if I was him I would never leave my love. I think I loved him more than he loved me or he was too weak to fight for me.
      Our break up was because of the red flags I've been trying to not see
      I was in love so I was making excuses for him doing wrong things to me
      Don't be hopeless. I'm 22 and I'm soooo hopeless and so depressed because I think I did soooo much for him and we thought it's our true love, and the reason that makes me more depressed is that when something like what we had can be ruined, what will happen to my future relationships. I'm so hopeless but I think I should work on me more
      Keep moving forward ❤

    • @mishan3150
      @mishan3150 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's exactly what I've experienced this month.
      I thought he was the one and he thought that too
      We loved each other so much and we wanted to get married but when things got hard he abandoned me bcz it was easier. This broke my heart because if I was him I would never leave my love. I think I loved him more than he loved me or he was too weak to fight for me.
      Our break up was because of the red flags I've been trying to not see
      I was in love so I was making excuses for him doing wrong things to me
      Don't be hopeless. I'm 22 and I'm soooo hopeless and so depressed because I think I did soooo much for him and we thought it's our true love, and the reason that makes me more depressed is that when something like what we had can be ruined, what will happen to my future relationships. I'm so hopeless but I think I should work on me more
      Keep moving forward ❤

    • @dulcecaramel972
      @dulcecaramel972 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@mishan3150the reason why you feel so bad is because you were trying to be the perfect girlfriend… he had everything on a plate without doing no damn effort

    • @ll9212
      @ll9212 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Love Thyself & God/Universe 💜💙💜💙Pour allllllll the love compassion & everything else into yourself!!!!! Learn to be comfortable alone( I use to read this & think yeah right...but girl it's true💜) be ok with you/love U more & pick up hobbies & forget a partner for awhile! Way too draining! Friends will come into ur life! You'll know when your ready( but try to be by yourself for a good while) read more...do things alone...enjoy your own company 🥂💙💜

    • @Cowkill
      @Cowkill 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Same experience here. 13 years long relationship, including 7 years long marriage. It always went great, we were always seen as the "perfect couple" and we always saw ourselves growing old together. Last 3 years were rough because I got lot of things going on (burnout + death of my father + brand new career after all that) and it was the first time in 13 years that our couple was going through a crisis because I wasn't as caring and available as before. My wife suddenly surrounded herself with new people this year and she totally changed. She closed herself from long time friends, got into a romantic relationship with another man (one of these new people), totally changed attitude. And now we're divorcing because she says she can't cut ties with this guy and doesn't love me anymore.
      This is so sudden. From the perfect love story to divorce in the lapse of a few months.

  • @chippychick6261
    @chippychick6261 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    QUESTION : can you talk about navigating potential relationships coming from business/client contacts?

  • @lilmissizzy006
    @lilmissizzy006 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Does anyone else just feel like he completely avoided Stacy's question and just addressed people who need to get to the same point as Stacy? Like I've fixed all of the 3 mistakes he mentioned. Now let's answer Stacy's question, please.

    • @goldenhairlady
      @goldenhairlady 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      This 🫡

    • @mmnn4845
      @mmnn4845 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes

  • @fralou_sind_kreativ
    @fralou_sind_kreativ 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Perfect timing :) Pre ordered your book a week ago :)
    Wishing you a wonderful Holiday Season. Sending much love and good vibes

  • @TheUltimateBreakupCoach
    @TheUltimateBreakupCoach 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    With the uprise of dating sites it is even harder to find the right partner. So many people are on dating sites as they are still heartbroken over their Ex, and are looking for a quick fix (get under one to get over one vibe)… recipe for disaster 😢

  • @jeanandersonlscsw2550
    @jeanandersonlscsw2550 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I ❤what you said about following our hearts and that yes we can be a model for others .

  • @julierobinson8173
    @julierobinson8173 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    He’s very accurate ❤

  • @denisapetras1
    @denisapetras1 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thanks❤It was said so nicely and in a sensitive manner. Is a book only for some countries?(Slovakia?)

  • @jeanandersonlscsw2550
    @jeanandersonlscsw2550 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So good Mathew .

  • @eml3077
    @eml3077 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    #3 real talk!

  • @anabellafl9742
    @anabellafl9742 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Every video of this guy is a masterpiece!!!! 👌👏👏👏👏 x from Argentina

  • @Brianna-yh7iy
    @Brianna-yh7iy 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you!

  • @hadisesadat3839
    @hadisesadat3839 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great video! thank you!
    I have a suggestion: what about reaction videos?

  • @reiganlee4683
    @reiganlee4683 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love hearing you

  • @neginarts9364
    @neginarts9364 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I like Matthew's videos, but i took this youtube recommendation personal 😂😂😂😂

  • @user-vh6ht8rs8f
    @user-vh6ht8rs8f 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    thank ur..i do understand..ur advice 😊

  • @Aggnog
    @Aggnog 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Really nice polo shirt

  • @EM-zv5wc
    @EM-zv5wc 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Many many thanks to u

  • @felipe7112
    @felipe7112 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    great points

  • @bolt9110
    @bolt9110 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    5:00 So kindness, loyalty, consistency women day they want , but the men they are having sex with don't have that... message received .

  • @amyp9010
    @amyp9010 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Accurate of what we're doing wrong.. I can see myself being attracted to the wrong attraction to people who don't even know I exist don't care that I exist don't appreciate me even if I'm borderline personality disorder I get mad because it's not being reciprocated the care and concern isn't ricpoated

  • @doyoueatrocks
    @doyoueatrocks 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Solid advice

  • @danielleh5804
    @danielleh5804 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    This is legitimately a thing. Honestly I feel like some people have been like oh you don't have to have someone you have things in common with. Like what? Why would I date someone I have nothing in common with. I've tried that. I hated it.
    At the same time, I know I deserve to be treated well and I can't seem to find a guy that fits me and my life...

    • @agentnukaz1715
      @agentnukaz1715 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yeah i want to rly be friends with a girl not feel like we just do busniess.

    • @Diarrheagod
      @Diarrheagod 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You’re a woman u don’t need to “find” anyone. Men do the finding. It says in the Bible “he who finds a wife” not “she who finds a husband”. Stop worrying about trying to find someone

    • @danielleh5804
      @danielleh5804 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@Diarrheagod honestly the happier relationships I've been in are ones where I approach him. He can do the rest but still. I don't like the Bible or care about anything it says

    • @danielleh5804
      @danielleh5804 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@agentnukaz1715 exactly

    • @Diarrheagod
      @Diarrheagod 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@danielleh5804 I have been told by guys that they don’t like women that approach them because it’s “too easy”. And I’ve known guys who don’t approach and prefer women to and it’s because they are highly insecure. lol it’s funny how we all have our own unique experiences.

  • @ladyofspa
    @ladyofspa 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Relationships must have the right amount of essential ingredients just like a recipe. Leave something out it just isnt quite right. If women are being asking for regular sex there must be attraction, chemistry present, but in the right amount. If a relationship is to sustain compatibility & healthy communication has to be in large measures.
    + committment ❤

  • @dinamorunanmaisei1925
    @dinamorunanmaisei1925 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I like the way you speak 😊

  • @amiramahgoub
    @amiramahgoub 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I started to believe in the right one "law" The right Person
    I told you before that my man didn't excited. Bec I never met Him and now I know He's not of this 🌎 ❤💙💛

    • @navalfa7291
      @navalfa7291 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The right person, who is a cardiac surgeon who can cook Gourmet meal, who falls in deep love with Amira here..

    • @amiramahgoub
      @amiramahgoub 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@navalfa7291 One day I'll meet Him face to face.

  • @bobbysilver272
    @bobbysilver272 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Our faithful marriage of over 30 years was ended by my wife.
    We hit some financial difficulties, I love you,but i'm not in love with you...etc.
    Two weeks after doing this she falls for a rich bachelor that has swept her off her feet.
    Kids are devastated, I'm devastated and heartbroken. Cried daily for 2 months.
    Tried counselling, everything I could think of, but she is smitten.
    I can see deep in her eyes, some sadness that she knows it is wrong, but she is doing it anyway.
    I expected more from her.
    Maybe I didn't wake up in time to correct our marriage.
    Betrayal is awful.
    Severe heartbreak is traumatic.
    I must have been in love with my own altered version of her, to not even realise that she could be capable of such behaviour.
    I obviously didn't know her as well as I thought I did. Even after 30 years.
    4 months later and it is time to truly let go.

    • @SHVideografie
      @SHVideografie 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's terrible mate. Hope everything works out well for you. There's a big chance it's all about chemistry between your ex and her rich bachelor and not about compatibility, what Matthew is talking about. Anyway, keep working on yourself, your passions, the relationship with friends and family. You are worthy.

  • @nikita8294
    @nikita8294 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Just broke up after being in a relationship for 10 months .. he was everything I was looking for in a partner .. but I felt no chemistry .. no spark .. I didn't feel excited with him .. realized it might just be platonic.. had to let go but still hurting coz I really valued him

  • @tessemerrose
    @tessemerrose 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I think i seriously need to put myself out there somehow. Im a near death experiencer and was recovering from it but healed now. I know what love is and im emotionally available. Most guys though are porn addicted....

  • @Diarrheagod
    @Diarrheagod 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    People will stop searching outside of themselves for love once they realize that the love they want has been inside of themselves this entire time. When you are connected with spirit you feel whole and there’s nothing missing because the divine gives you all that you need

  • @d.l.8133
    @d.l.8133 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Matthew you are a life saver! I'm not kidding. 👏

  • @XxChaysterxX
    @XxChaysterxX 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wooooow Matthew I follow you for almost 4 years now and I think this was one of your best videos! This is something soooo important that I see in my life and in other womens life so often and they just dont know why it didnt work out even though they thought the person was so perfect for them because they only met men for their compatibility and how they match with their friends&family instead of meeting them for how they make them feel!!!! You helped me so much with this i cant thank you enough omg 🥹🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @susane945
    @susane945 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    You said it!! And we're living in a world where relationships are so difficult and many men can't commit because they have so many choices.

    • @fenukii
      @fenukii 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      Many men?! The VAST majority of men have very little options. It's women who have the majority of options. But yes, relationships are difficult for everyone for sure and it's a rough dating world for both men and women for different reasons.

    • @joshb7326
      @joshb7326 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      I'm a 32 professional guy with Masters degree. I've been single my entire life, never had a relationship, just sayin

    • @fenukii
      @fenukii 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@joshb7326 I'm 37 and I had a pretty good run from 18-32 truth be told but the last 5-7 years have been really, really rough. Something has changed and sex, dating and relationships are MUCH harder to navigate than they were before. We're seeing much more content that is in no way conducive to successful relationship building and dating app, social media and seeing SO many options have completely fried everyone's brains. The fantasy is better than the reality so no one commits to anything or anyone.

    • @2legitkong536
      @2legitkong536 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      What? Hell no. It’s the other way around buddy.

    • @brennam954
      @brennam954 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@fenukii Women's "options" are overwhelmingly for immature men who won't commit and just want a FWB. They're not real options.

  • @annabanzon313
    @annabanzon313 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I was a single mom for a long time. Now that I'm married I realize that being single was fun because in your head you can have your own thoughts. In marriage, what's hard is that there are few sacred thoughts. I really don't have the same mental clarity or peace tbh.

  • @allisongriswold4443
    @allisongriswold4443 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    If we can't determine if we have chemistry until we meet in person, and attraction is only a small part of.... what's the best way to connect with someone in online dating?

    • @lnaph
      @lnaph 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Get to the phonecall (not your primary number) and meet fast somewhere public... remembering they are a stranger.

    • @ThePhabulousYvelise
      @ThePhabulousYvelise 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Meet them in person. Arrange to meet in a public place that is conducive to conversations.

  • @georgesaunders3532
    @georgesaunders3532 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    The thing is, it isn't that it's sparse, there are plenty of really decent people out there looking for the same people who would be super compatible. I was going to say that Stacey is likely setting the bar too high. Just because she's worked hard and has a great career doesn't mean a future partner who would be great for her would value that. I'm nit saying Stacey should bring down her standards just a bit, but don't moan that you are not finding anyone who's good, because good comes in many forms if you're willing to flex a bit

  • @ancientmage666
    @ancientmage666 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Hey! Matthew should create a group for singles who want to date with the condition of being coached by him😊

    • @navalfa7291
      @navalfa7291 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Just say you want to date Mathew and produce his kids.

    • @viiiRA_
      @viiiRA_ 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@navalfa7291I doubt any sane woman would reject the opportunity but she didn't even imply that. I imagine it's safer to assume she meant both men and women when using the word "singles". Honestly almost arranged marriage at that point..

  • @borrisdillan9783
    @borrisdillan9783 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    im very sad.. a lot of people tell me that im good.. kind... etc but i remain single... im struggling depression

  • @susannefitzpatrick9955
    @susannefitzpatrick9955 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    That's all very well and good ...... but where does one go if you're middle-aged (or older) to find a man who hasn't had hoards of children by multiple women (all of whom are now bleeding him dry, financially), isn't bitter and twisted because of that experience, and isn't just looking for a new financially stable partner to help him pay his child support? There must be a 'man island' somewhere in the UK where good men (ie emotionally and financially stable) are hiding - just wish I had the roadmap to get there!

  • @masoncadena919
    @masoncadena919 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I was told yesterday that I was being emotional during our conversation because I upset my partner for having our pup with us when we didn’t make major plans. I said I want to see her and just hangout. She got upset that I brought our dog. I apologized for not asking, but due to circumstances I had to. She then asked why are you getting sensitive, I’m not scolding you. I said that I felt bad for not thinking to ask and making the mistake. To then be told they weren’t upset and they just wanted to have a conversation. When they were clearly upset with their tone and body language. Am I wrong for my emotions and feeling like my feelings were invalidated once I listened to hers and apologizing for my mistake???

  • @TheKrispyfort
    @TheKrispyfort 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Why I haven't met the right person yet?
    Because I'm not looking and I'm genuinely okay with this 🙂
    I'm relocating out-of-state in the next couple of years and I'm not going to use a local someone for temporary amusement. Seems kinda sleezy and I'm not keen on situationships nor locationships.
    Still interested in what is going to be shared

  • @darlinah8090
    @darlinah8090 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Exhausting