Lori Erica Ruff led multiple lives... but what was she hiding from?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
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Seemingly “normal” families can be dysfunctional or abusive. This almost always goes on in secret and children don’t always remember exactly what happened. For someone to want to change their identity and have no contact with their family to me indicates there was probably something seriously wrong there that was being hidden or covered up.
Can the converse be true? Seemingly dysfunctional and abusive families can be completely normal and/or happy.
@@X1GenKaneShiroX Sorry but a dysfunctional family is characterized by “conflict, misbehavior, or abuse, how can living in an abusive family be considered normal or happy? especially for the ones being abused.
Alternatively, she could have been severely unwell mentally and felt like she needed to run away or was being pursued by someone or something.
We have no way of knowing.
I’ve heard this story a few times over the years, and I’ve always believed she was possibly in some sort of abusive situation with her family or something similar. She could’ve changed her name to keep from them ever finding her, and I believe it even more knowing she said she didn’t want a newspaper announcement of the marriage and the fact that she said her childhood was bad and didn’t wanna talk about it.
PS: I really hate how badly Lori’s in-laws speak of her. Some people don’t like speaking about their past and the possible traumas within that, and I hate that they wouldn’t respect that in any form.
I just cannot get over taking your sibling to your marriage counseling, and letting that sibling lead. It’s baffled me since I first read about it. The Ruffs were never going to be supportive of her, even if they hadn’t divorced.
Exactly.
Either one sibling has always been super domineering to the other, or its extreme & mutual co dependency between siblings.
It's SO weird. Every time I heard "his brother," I wondered why his brother had so much influence over him.
Bless this poor woman. She needed mental health care, probably had PPD or even PPP. The lack of compassion from everyone around her ( except the neighbour) is heartbreaking.
Congratulations on your engagement, hope you have a wonderful wedding day and beautiful marriage.
Thank you so much for acknowledging the bias on who is left to tell Lori's story. I've heard it a few times and always got the same icky feeling about her in-laws.
Honestly... I really can't blame her. I suffer PTSD and am autistic; an ex of mine had a super middle class family and I couldn't STAND being around them. They were just far too much. High expectations, narrow-minded, intrusive, rude... There's just so much. They're part of the reason I broke up with her. My family life is crap, and they knew that; even if they were nice people they would still have been far too over-stimulating to me as a traumatised and autistic person. So yeah, I massively relate to that poor woman.
Yeah the way his family described her screams neurodivergent in some way and being bullied by neurotypicals. I’m autistic and distant from my family, so I tend to be very very awkward around them despite wanting to know them and be around them. Sadly, so many people take being shy and awkward as being rude, cold, and distant
The Ruffs honestly sound like terrible people. It seems vicious and vindictive to go all out to paint Laurie in a terrible way simply because she was hiding her past. She could've had a very valid reason to do so (personally, I feel like there was probably abuse happening in her childhood that we don't know about), and if she was a good mom and a good wife, I don't see why they should have a problem with her. When she told Blake she had a difficult childhood and he didn't ask any further questions, he was doing the right thing. I just wish his family had known at the time and had respected her need for privacy too.
Honestly her in-laws sound nosy and almost entitled. She says that her parents are dead and she didn't have siblings, why not just respect that? They just expected her to share everything when meeting her for the first time. They didn't think that was deeply personal information?
I've heard this story several times over the years and to me it sounds like there was some kind of abuse or dysfunction she was trying to get away from. Maybe that mixed in with some mental health struggles. "Wouldn't let her in-laws watch her daughter" that sounds like PPD to me. Or maybe whatever happened with her family made her lose trust in people.
I just feel so bad for her and hope she's at peace now wherever she is.
Bruh if her neighbours thought she was weird for not making eye contact and not going outside much my autistic ass is gonna be a FREAK to my neighbours lmfao
That's a shame. I always used to say hi whenever I saw my neighbour, but he didnt speak, make eye contact . I decided he was maybe super shy, but I would still say hi. He overdosed 3months after his gf moved out. He was the same with all the other 9 residents. We all feel bad we didnt try harder.
I am a shy person who prefers to be alone. I even feel like I thrive alone. Socializing is stressful for me so I don't do it and I'm fine with that. I often wonder what my neighbours think though. I lived in an apartment for 10 years and actually didn't even know anybody by name that lived in my building because I never spoke to, hardly even saw, anyone. I live in a row house now and know few people in houses in my row only because they've stopped to introduce themselves. I will say hi when they say say hi, but I never say it first. I just like to keep to myself.
@@yetiyarnworks6578 same here! I know maybe 1 persons name in my apartment complex - I’m happy on my own & with my husband!!
He brought along his brother to marriage counseling and let him lead??? Blake needs help
Sounds like his own family were controlling and she wasn't interested in being controlled too.
Not even halfway through and WOW his family sounds absolutely terrible! Why would she want to hang out with people who so clearly disliked her? Also, I don't believe for a moment that they wanted to find Lori's history for the daughter. THEY wanted to know (and likely try to validate their own speculations)
Agree
Yep and his family allowed it. So disgusting.
It seems like she never got over her parent's divorce, like it shattered her world and her psyche. I think she was severely traumatized/mentally ill and was not getting the help she needed. Having a child often causes childhood trauma to resurface or become more pervasive.I think this is why things seemed to get worse after her daughter was born. Her in-laws didn't help but it's difficult to fault people who were clearly picking up on her deception and maybe her instability, especially when it comes to the safety of their son and granddaughter. I don't think divorce was an option for her after the trauma it caused her in her own childhood. I think she saw it as a failing and probably believed her daughter would suffer because of her failing. This devastated her so much she chose to end her own life. Tragic.
A lot of remarriages result in very bad situations for the children of the 1st marriage. A lot of weirdos choose partners that already have children. I think it's kind of obvious how unhappy things were in that household by how she left as soon as she was of age and maybe the lack of love is also apparent from how no one talks about missing her. I would never stop worrying about a cousin/niece/DAUGHTER who never came back or even wrote or called.
As for her marriage falling apart- he clearly chose his family in the end whatever her problems were because he went directly to their house when she was fearful of her daughter being in the care of others. I think it's very odd she died on the in laws property and very odd for a woman to cause a self inflected wound with a sh*t g*n of all things (a literal statistical anomaly). I think it's very odd she was cremated. And so quickly they didn't even preserve her DNA. It's all not saying self-inflicted to me.
Short stop in this awesome coverage. YOU GET MARRIED IN TWO MONTHS?! I'm so so happy for you!
Awh congratulations on your upcoming nuptials Georgia!! So excited for you both💞
Thank you so much!!
While the commercial plays, my periodic reminder to everyone to support Georgia Marie in an extra way by watching the ads!
The ruffs sound nightmarish , I wouldn’t want to hang out around them either
How many feel like they just want to run away and start over? She did it and seemed couldn't flee her own issues.
8:42 I had pretty bad PPA after having my first baby and I would also barely trust anyone with him. Actually it wasn’t so much I didn’t trust others, I was just convinced that *I* was the one who had to do everything for him. Either way, I think your perception is spot on: the narrative seems rather biased here.
There are many people who change their identity when they want to get away from abusive families.
She could have had severe trauma due to this. Or a violent relationship. This just seems quite sad that the family didn't think could be the case.
For example being very paranoid someone could hurt her baby. She had to rely on herself for years.
She didn't seem to have gotten the right help at all. My heart goes out to her. Her extended family really don't come across as very sympathetic. Just because they wanted to speak all about themselves and their past. Doesn't mean everyone does.
I think Lori was abused during her childhood and she never received the help she received and I believe having a child on exasperated these issues. I personally believe it may have been CSA with how protective she was over her child. And I’m sure if she had PPA or PPD it didn’t help.
I really don’t know what to think! There is definitely a big chunk of the story missing here, like you said.
100 Percent!
6:00 Brain misfire! Happens to me every day! The word eluding you is "reclusive"!
Thank you 😂😂
This is precisely why people should see psychologists and/or psychiatrists for mental health conditions and not counsellors
Easier said than done, sadly. Wait times for any therapy is looooong. My health care providers website, when you go to find options for mental health gives me the option of a sketchy betterhelp type app, or life coaches. LIFE COACHES! They say they have too few therapists right now.
It's really sad she never felt she could share why she did this. It has to have been something that her birth family hid from everyone like you say there is a puzzle piece missing. Thanks for covering this one.
I love when Georgia sometimes does these more covered stories, because she always brings a compassionate and respectful point of to her videos. I've watched a couple videos about this case in different languages and it has always bothered me why is Lory painted in such negative light. I obviously love the lesser known cases as well and it is important to share information about them. But it is also important to give more rounded and humane narratives for more famous cases. Even if it doesn't lead to any discoveries, it may make us question our biases not only about specific cases, but about the stories we hear every day in our lives
This case makes me DESPERATELY sad, I can relate to her in so many ways, my parents passed away when I was 15 and moved in with my much older sister. My older brother lives abroad and my twin brother moved with me however he has since moved back down to where we were from and my relationship with my sister fizzed out due to the circumstances of living there. So safe to say I’m very much on my own and very depended on my bf who I live with and his family for company. I can very much see if his family wasn’t as wonderful as they were like in this case, I could have ended up in this same situation. I can imagine why she wanted to be someone else and changed her identity. This case is sooo tragic and I really feel for her 😔 all she had was her husband and when he left her life I can imagine how her mental health must have deteriorated. Such a same 😔
This has always been pretty intriguing, to me! Glad to see you covering it!
Great story Georgia. I am wondering if perhaps there was mental illness, paranoia? Living this lie for so long how do you come to terms with it? Maybe she wanted to tell her husband but was afraid of his response and reaction. I am intrigued by the letter for her daughter...
I tend to believe that her husband and in-laws read it.
Thank you for covering this case with so much compassion for Lori!
After hearing several of these kinds of cases I do wonder if it isn't a very specific type of OCD. A very individualized fear of something related to the need to hide themselves. As stress exacerbates most illnesses, physical and mental, it makes sense that Lori spiraled so hard near the end. It's a very sad & tragic case & I don't think there is a traumatic event necessarily. It could also explain why Lori was so overprotective of her daughter as OCD intrusive thoughts don't always stick to one specific topic. Great coverage of this case!
Also, congrats on your upcoming nuptials!!!
This shows that it is possible for a missing person to start a new life. It always seems unlikely or impossible. But Kimberly managed it.
Wasn’t that difficult back then.
I can so relate to not wanting to spill all about yourself especially if your childhood had abuse. The in-laws seem to lack humanity and compassion in anyway. Hope this poor lady is now at peace. Thank you for your care and consideration in the way you cover this and every case.
My MIL needed her birth certificate sometime in the last 20 years, I can't remember when, but she called up the place in a very small town and gave them the information over the phone. It came misspelled, and clearly they had just typed everything she said over the phone. She called up to get it corrected, and they told her to just keep the wrong copy. Wild.
Edit to add: small town, Pennsylvania, USA
Thank you for covering this case. I have always found it so intriguing and I think you did a really good job. I appreciate your compassion towards her state of mind. The onesided narrative we usually hear about this case drives me crazy.
I really hope we get pictures of at least a little bit of your wedding ❤ but I totally understand if you don't want to share every little bit of your life online
Thank you so much! I’ll definitely post some stuff over on Instagram!
People often do try to reinvent themselves after unhappy childhoods. Just because from the outside, her childhood looked ok, doesnt mean it was. Emotional abuse is harder to spot, doesnt leave physical scars but can be just as damaging mentally. The husbands family sound like a prying, suspicious, unsupportive lot.
Excited to watch! Happy hump day, everybody
💛💜 THANK YOU GEORGIA
While searching for the links… I discovered that you have another channel!
Check it out! Its so wholesome 🌠
Hi Georgia! I love when you do these types of cases! I was the one who mentioned Mary Anderson! I know you struggled a lot with the family’s views on “Lori”. Which I definitely can understand your view, as someone who’s job is m content based journalism. It would have been nice to have had more angles! That said - I would find her history a bit off also. I have a son that is currently her daughter’s age. Born the same year - and I can’t imagine him dating/marrying someone with such a limited past. I understand parents and siblings pass - but no one can vouch for you? You didn’t go to high school? You don’t have a social life? It all seemed a bit odd all around for me. I also wonder why her family never reported her missing. Idk… maybe they did - but I don’t recall hearing that. I would have at least reported my daughter missing. Makes me wonder if there was some form of quiet abuse going on. I hate she struggled so much in life.
Thanks!
Congratulations on your wedding.🎉🎉🎉🎉
I hope you and your bride have a fantastic day.❤❤
Wishing you all the best.
Love all your videos Georgia 😊
thanks for telling us Kimberly/Lori's story. your video is really well done, if I may be so bold
Thank you so much!
What a sad story! 😢
Given the age she left, it could be she was developing schizophrenia.
Such a sad story. I wonder if it’s possible she had MH condition her birth family didn’t know about. Mid to late teens in females can be a key time when some mental health conditions develop, and could include a degree of paranoia. I wonder if that links to the medication she used to take and some of her behaviours that may have also contributed to the in laws ‘odd feeling’ (they don’t sound supportive in the least!) it’s possible the pregnancy and lack of medication caused a crisis?
Georgia’s voice is so calming
I’ve seen this story several times before but I still can’t believe the way it turned out
Thank you for covering this case. What a sad and frustrating story.
Still enjoying the great videos.
This case is so sad. I feel so bad for this woman and her daughter who will never know her
Personally, I live in a different country very far away from my family, I'm an only child, and I have basically no photos of me as a kid or anything from my past with me. My life has also been very odd as well, so I must seem so suspicious to people who don't really know me.
Same. What few photos there were, were lost to multiple floods.
I lean towards thinking something happened with the stepfather and the resulting rage Kimberly felt made her decide to completely cut off contact with her family once she turned 18. But being away wasn't enough- she had to become a new person, so enter Lori.
My first thought and a feeling I can't shake: Mob. I grew up around and lived my young adult years in the Philly area and it has a heavy mob scene. (I had drinks one night in my early 20s with a very nice older man who I found out later was a big Philly mob boss 😳). The way she stole an identity then changed her stolen name, then wouldn't even put a wedding announcement in the paper or reveal her secret once she was dead smells of La Cosa Nostra. Maybe she witnessed something like a hit or a crime that it would put her surviving family in danger to know. Such a thing would drive a person crazy over the years and might even lead to a suicide. Organized crime is the only thing that makes sense as to why she might have tried to completely erase her past. They can be quite vengeful when they want to be.
And congratulations on your upcoming nuptials, Georgia. You will share pictures and possibly some video with us, won't you? I love weddings. May your marriage work out better than mine did. 🌈 ❤
I had this same thought as well. Running from the mob would make anyone crazy and paranoid in the long term
Congratulations with your upcoming wedding❤🎉
Love your vids and I always appreciate your compassion for the victims.
Thanks Georgia 🥰
OMG congratulations on your wedding!!! ❤ You're both a beautiful couple and inspire me so much 💝
It's kind of sad that we can no longer just move somewhere and start again.
It would be nice to have the option sometimes 😅
I recently had to request my late sisters birth certificate here in the UK, I applied online, gave no form of identification and had it posted to me! Not sure about the USA but here it is very easy, I just needed her name and date of birth.
In the US, you can only apply for your own or your children's. You cannot request somebody else's birth certificate, which is crazy because if they're dead or unable to, I don't know of any way to track it down except by lying on government forms.
Back in the '80s, I think you just had to go to the courthouse and ask for it and claim it was yours.
I remember in the early 80s my mother, who was living in Texas, was able to get her uncle’s via snail mail from Florida.
thank you georgia !
How this girl isn't on Tele with her own programme is crazy
I’ve lived in Texas my whole life, and I’ve watched several relationships crumble due to the husbands parents not liking the pair. Particularly “boy moms” believing that the wife is not good enough for her son
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, Georgia!! 🎉
This case makes me incredibly sad for Lori. But also congrats on the upcoming marriage!
That number of months was pretty specific. I wonder how difficult it would be to find people sentenced to jail/prison for that exact amount during the time she first ran away
Congrats on your upcoming wedding!! 🎉 👩❤💋👩
I remember when this story first surfaced and how people on forums were going bananas trying to puzzle it out; there was a ton of speculation that she had escaped from a cult, or was a spy; much was made about the scribbles in the lock box and what the meaning of all of those notations could mean. IIRC, one of the phone numbers / names was for a makeup artist that had worked with George Michael! ...and then the truth of it turned out to be _so_ much more mundane.
I feel like her mother's new marriage was the catalyst for her departure, but as to why is a mystery. AFAIK nothing has surfaced supporting an abusive situation. I wonder if Lori/Kimberly was already experiencing mental health issues (particularly paranoia) and felt compelled to leave for reasons that were real to her but only existed in her head, then once she was away she felt better / safe (until she didn't again in the future).
I wonder if she had help developing the new identity. I don't know how she could have known to do what she did (involving three states!) otherwise-there was no internet like we have today to research these things. I suppose she could have done library searches but records of that would be long gone. (It's true; when I was born, children were not automatically given Social Security Numbers at birth. I didn't get my SSN until the IRS required them for parents to claim dependents. I _think_ I was 16. Would have needed one soon, anyway, to start working.)
Very thorough coverage of this story-well done, Georgia! This story is _so_ very sad all around. I hope Blake and their daughter are doing well these days.
That was exactly my thoughts.
I have a niece who was so sharp & witty at the age of two, & my gawd awful mother made her dad into some kind of perv & talked shit about the guy constantly… a guy she had only met for ten minutes. But that’s how mother was, & in early 80s it was trending to bash your spouse & kidnap your own kids… it was an excuse to get the best of your other half. However, my niece was never around her father for long, & she even decided to go live with him at the age of 12, a couple years later she had a public episode & was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. Then two years later, she did 16 years in prison for stalking a teacher… which she claimed, years earlier, had been stalking her. Damn, she’s 46 now, & no one knows what set her off.
Man it really was like the Wild.West in the forums back in the day. I remember SO MANY people trying to "decode" (or "solving") things that ended up being.. definitely not codes
19:40 iirc, you’re correct that she didn’t have any high school transcripts, but she DID have her GED (equivalent of a high school diploma / school finishing certificate) which is all that some universities require
Omg your getting married soon ❤❤happy for you two
As a teenager, Lori's parents marriage ended and this is traumatic for most children. When her own marriage failed it probably trigger trauma that she had not dealt with previously and resulted in her breakdown. As for Lori's past, I'm wondering if she may have been pregnant when she left, telling her family not to look for her. She may have then lost the child, given it up for adoption or even lost it later in a custody battle. All these things could result in the behaviour she displayed in not wanting to leave her child with the in-laws.If she already lost a child in some way, she may have thought her divorce could result in her losing her daughter and that could have been more than she could bare. Changing her name the first time, may have been so her family couldn't find her. It may have taken Lori time to work out how to stop them and then how to change her name. The second time, may have been to prevent some one else, like an expartner or spouse, from finding her.
Secluded/Reclusive ❤
My theory is that she had some sort of mental illness or psychosis that caused her to be paranoid and have the delusion that someone was after her, which is a common delusion. The other idea is that she had a traumatic childhood in some way and was fearful of being found by her family. Of course it could always be both, trauma which triggers psychosis.
I never knew you could attend college without having a highschool diploma.
Went to school with 2 sisters that dropped out of high school at 16 to start college early. The one my age was 2 years ahead of me and her younger sister. I was shocked you could do that. Wish I'd known you could skip that high school experience
congratulations on your engagement❤
Congrats on your marriage Georgia!
You guys got married?! Congrats!!! That makes my heart so happy!!! Congrats you two!!
I've heard this story before and have always felt conflicted about it. While I understand the in-laws' suspicion of Lori (I'm not a parent but I know I'd be concerned over how I knew basically nothing about my son's partner and that they were always avoiding me) I can also see that Lori was very clearly unwell. It's such a shame that it turned out the way it did, I hope she's at least at peace now.
Unrelated but I just can't get over that you used to be able to claim someone else's birth certificate as your own??? Like that's totally wild to me.
It is very strange. Childhood trauma and/or mental illness such as schizophrenia may begin in late teens. Ability to hold a grudge. I would suspect she grew up not being able to express emotions but just speculation.
Reclusive
I find Chameleon cases very interesting. This one is so strange because she didn’t seem to have a reason to hide who she was. I wonder if she had done something she believed she would be wanted for but they never figured it out.
I think regardless of the "why," it's clear that Lori felt the need to outrun something and likely had a lot of her own mental health struggles that she lived through. It's a shame to hear how she was treated by her in-laws when she was so clearly struggling. I hope that now she can be at peace.
I hope you have the most amazing day on your wedding day Georgia xx
Hey Georgia Grundy County’s ID is going to happen on the 27th
Also - not sure if you have a video. But I would love your take on the Jennifer San Marco mass shootings. She went literally “postal”. And I find that case not often spoken about these days. But I vividly remember when it happened. Love your channel
I will check it out!
I clicked so fast when I saw this one!
Wow such an odd case. I would also wonder what happened that made her at 18 make such a decision
It is an odd case, cause why steal someone's identity when she could started by just legally changing her name? Maybe it was such drastic move so her family could never find her or maybe there is more to the story.
I don't find that odd she hid it from her husband, some people can't fully open up all the way and want to forget the past.
Thanks.
I'll be honest, I don't know my s.o.'s medication names. But I know what he's diagnosed with, when he takes his meds, and when they do a med change. Idk how you just don't know if your s.o. has adhd or tourettes though 😅
Some people just don’t want to live the life they have and want to start anew although it isnt ok to not tell your family and make them feel like something bad happened to you
Her MIL was the worst, especially for an introvert/very private person. The only "support" she had was her 'yes man' husband. This poor lady never really found peace. I'm still trying to avoid my violent ex- 13 years later. Sometimes we're just doing the best we can with what we have, and any kind of extreme PTSD is definitely a hindrance.
I've always wondered if part of the reason she didn't share the story with her husband may have been because she had stolen an identity. In the last 15 years, stealing an identity has become a serious offence legally. I also wondered if she was autistic, or had some sort of schizo-effective disorder, and with the divorce/upheaval in her childhood home, she just couldn't deal with it. She couldn't control that kind of chaos, which is ironic as her adult life looks chaotic from the outside, but to her- she controlled everything, including her identity. When she invited someone else into her world, she lost that control- again. I think her terrible in-laws were probably *very* triggering, and then losing him, all on top of extreme hormonal changes in a pregnant body.... IDK it's all speculation of course. Her story breaks my heart.
My name is Cassidy. Goodness.
Honestly, that family treated her like shit, and I think that the fact that she tried to make it work may be indicative of a pattern. I think she ran from abuse, especially since one of the name changes happened right after someone representing her original family contacted her. She's lucky that it was so easy to steal identities back then, but very unfortunate to end up in the clutches of another set of (allegedly) shitty people. It seems like all she really wanted was to be loved unconditionally, but she ended up being manipulated to the point of suicide.
Also, keeping the identity changes a secret from her husband could have been because she didn't want him trying to reconnect her with her past. Or perhaps her past was too painful to speak of. I too have severed my current self from a past life (although not as drastically), so I get why someone would go so far to hide. Either way, she wasn't the same person she once was, and I think it's really shitty of her husband and his family to make her story publicly known. That was her secret to disclose or keep, not theirs.
Agreed!!!
Ooh I love these kinda cases. Deffo something else going on here though x
Personally, I think she was trying to escape an abusive home or a very bad relationship with her family. She left and never looked back and that's pretty extreme so I don't think everything was peachy in her childhood. It could partially explain why she was so over protective of her daughter around people, even her in-laws. It's so sad. RIP Lori
I agree with you on SO many counts. Mrs Ruff sounds like the MIL from Hell, the entire Ruff family seems weirdly aggressive, and I think there MUST have been something deeper to the running away. Taking on not one but two different identities in the span of a few years is not just "I wanted a change of scenery" behaviour.
I do wonder if her birth family ever TRIED to find her, or if they took her at her word on "don't look for me, I'm out."
I hate the way the in-laws tret Lori Erica ruff. If some1 actually says 'I dont want to talk about it'. Thats it end of subject. As if it was their right to know everything.......chef
Thanks
Thank you so much!!
So bizarre that she went to SUCH lengths to hide herself from her family. Something had to have happened there.
It seems like everything was fine until the stepfather came into the picture. I'd bet dollars to donuts that he was the key as to why she ran.
Poor Kimberly/Lori. My heart breaks for her.
It's clean she was not beloved by her in laws, which destroyed her little family.
My first set of in laws despised me. I certainly empathize.