@@themacocko6311 I am pretty ignorant to what the words mean specifficaly. But I think the difference lies between the two options he described where you can choose between becoming a yogi, becoming acceptant, becoming content *or* doing the thing that produces de lingering thought which (I think) per definition not being content.
As someone who has actual ocd, simply resolving the thought doesn’t occur or work out, and with the metaphor of everyone having ocd he used, id say learn to sit with the uncertainty that rumination may be ruining your happiness, then move on, in turn avoiding rumination
@awxuh I think you are right, I meant like if the source of the negative thought is something I can fix like a task I have been putting off, my room is a mess, I should focus on fixing that.
I would actually disagree. Even though it is broken into segments, the act of scrolling itself is actually separated from the individual videos and this is easy to prove because we will continue to scroll even after coming across multiple videos we don't enjoy. I would say doom-scrolling is so bad because of how many negative points it can hit on. In a few minutes you can be reminded that you are in poor shape, financially unstable, live in an imperfect world, ugly, stupid, unfunny, etc. The act of scrolling is so focused specifically on content that is unfocused (cat video followed by AI slop followed by science followed by standup comedy within minutes) that you are essentially in a flow state of "unpointedness". Focused specifically on taking in different unexpected and uncontrollable thoughts or information. I hope I am explaining this half as well as it's put together in my head. EDIT: I figured out how I want to word this. Doom scrolling is essentially the flow state of inviting in the exact opposite of flow state. The one-pointedness specifically aimed at un-pointedness. It is like being vaccinated for a disease, and then receiving that exact disease via the vaccination. It's the same disease, but it gets directly injected into your system in high concentration making it harder to fight. (I know this isn't really quite how disease and immunity works. but the way I wrote the example should make it fairly clear.)
@CryinOverSpilledTea doom scrolling is bad because your brain interprets videos you watch as reality, and you are experiencing too many opposite emotions in very short period of time. That's why you get unhealthy amount of domapine, which keeps you engaged. Even if YOU understand that you are simply loosing time, your BRAIN wants to keep getting dopamine and does not want to return to relatively hard work instead. Also, it has something to do with focus as well. You literally change the topic of information you get every lets say 10-60 seconds. People who doom scroll are less capable of watching simple TH-cam videos, because their brain says "naah, first 10 seconds of the vid are boring, lets watch something else". That is the opposite of meditation. That is untraining your mind to focus on one point. And the reason you keep scrolling is that short videos are doing all work for you, so that brain is always FOCUSED, but brain is not doing anything to achieve that, when meditation is using you brain to eliminate all thoughts and FOCUS on one thing
Yep. This is why one of the first things that I tell my friends who complain about their attention spans is to swap out short-form content with movies. Obviously the end-goal is not to watch movies all day, but a lot of the times people will notice that they actually can't just sit down and watch a movie in it's entirety without pausing anymore. But if you practice enough, then you can move on to reading a book or playing a game for long periods of uninterrupted time. Then just keep moving on to more boring but more fulfilling things from there.
I have ADHD and the "not enjoying games you think you should enjoy" is a daily experience. I came to realize that my mind not being able to be in the moment is what robs me of the enjoyment of the game. The "opportunity cost evaluation" my mind does is always active, part of my mind focuses on what I could be doing instead of being on what I am doing, this takes away my ability to enjoy what I am doing.
Something that has helped me and Dr. K talked about before, is that your subconcious mind is doing a different cost calculation than your conscious mind. Our entire mind is extremely efficient and it will rebel against inefficient actions. So what really helps is trying to understand what else is in the equation and what in your life is weighting more on playing videogames rather than doing anything else or what exactly is really that painful about doing something else preventing you from doing. With this you can start to try and reevaluate the equation.
the first two comments here are horrible don't do drugs bro. the third comment more reasonable. for your second paragraph I feel the same its actually me overthinking how I could be enjoying something more and this robs me of enjoying the entertainment I am doing at the moment. for this I try to just not let myself think too much about it and accept that things arent always to be planned and spontaneity is good in life. idk when I got so compulsive honestly I'm trying to reverse it now so hope I can succeed and I hope you can enjoy gaming again. btw this isn't a long term answer but being slightly sleep deprived helps me not think too much when enjoying things so try that maybe idk. now that I think about it you said opportunity cost so if the reason is work/studies then try to get that over with first. i know it doesn't work to just say do it cause I suck at it do but I'm trying to form a routine now as a college student so I have something to look forward to on the weekend so try that if this is the case for you. do work on weekdays and enjoy the nights on weekends with gaming or friends
@@AninomousUser We aren’t saying to this person that weed is the answer, we are simply relating to him using weed as a coping mechanism. Of course weed isn’t a long term solution, just like sleep deprivation isn’t. I think it’s important to understand why a person smokes weed because from there, you can understand what you think you’re missing and try to find it in healthier ways.
I think what Dr. K said about mindfulness actually being mindlessness really hits home when you watch Alan Watts illusion of ego video. a quote I like from him is “when all you do is think, you have nothing to think about but thoughts themselves “
@@Shannendetro right, like, I heard someone else say something like - people don’t “lose” their minds and end up an unstable homeless person or hurting or killing someone. It’s more like the mind has taken over, their own delusional reality has taken over and they’re no longer living in reality, they’re living in their mind. If you “lost” your mind and you opinions and certainties and what you think is true, and just embraced reality as it is, you’d probably be pretty content.
Mindfulness is mindlessness only if you allow it to become that. Those who master it know that with all things, it's a balance. Those who rely on the meditation to stabilize themselves are when itself has become self detrimental. So while he has a point, it's not an absolute truth. It's merely a perspective.
@ yes absolutely, I think that’s why he said “if all you do “but I completely agree with you. You can’t always live in the present or else you’ll never learn from the past, and all you do is think of the past you’ll never be in the present.
I would love Dr K to do a video about tolerating people and things that disrupt your peace of mind. Strained family relationships in particular and boundaries. I personally have learned to just distance myself but would be interested in any other science based things we can do to maintain peace and happiness when it comes to people who hurt you either directly/consciously or indirectly/subconsciously
I have been experiencing this altered state of mind lately for longer than ever before. It feels surreal, I was close to saying to my psychologist that it seemed to be a super power just yesterday ! Only two years of (good) psychoterapy, getting out of home, trying, failing, seeking courage, keeping at it. Stay strongs brothers, Keep trying.
I have never played a video game in my life, but I’m a medical student and I find your videos immensely helpful. I send them to literally everyone I know from my little brother in high school to my middle aged cousin and they find your videos amazing. Thank you Dr. K🍣
I've told my daughter so many times that she has to learn to be okay with being bored. I'm sending her this video. Maybe she'll understand when you say it.
I've been trying to get a close friend of mine who's suffered depression her whole life to start listening to him too. His videos took decades of my depression away as after just a few hours of his videos I knew what I needed to do to get better. 3+ months depression/sadness free now. Good luck with your daughter - hope she finds her own happiness
Hey man I just wanted to let you know as a child of a parent that often gives me this type of advice if it comes across like lecturing or that you know better than your child then it can often put us off and make us feel like you're just trying to impose on us even when it could come from a place of caring I just wanted to let you know that if you ask her questions about her experience of being bored and try to understand and then let her know what you've learned about it it can often come across a lot more sincere
In order to get someone to understand what you are saying is to focus on really listening to THEM first. Showing genuine interest in how they are feeling and what they are thinking can help make communication possible.
I think skilled meditators, Dr. K, would say the goal is not to empty your mind (that's actually an impossible objective to practice actively) but to not be attached to the items that pass through your mind. A consequence of doing this enough through mindfulness and meditation is that your thoughts do decrease, however that's a very vital distinction.
That kind of fractured mind is exactly my experience with ADHD. Very rarely am I ever completely focused on one thing. I always have something else going on in my head. The only activities that consistently lead to focus are music production and highly competitive video games. This experience also leads me to use cannabis because, while high it seems like whatever I'm doing is the most important thing ever. My curiosity about the activities I engage in while high feels limitless. I can go down rabbit holes of seemingly innocuous topics and come out the other end with a greater appreciation for that thing and the world. I can't figure out how to feel that way during everyday life
i’m in the exact same spot with different interests. stimulants are horrible for my anxiety and getting high is one of the best ways to achieve this one pointed mind for an evening.
A very simple, and perhaps boring, thing I like to do from time to time during the night is to remove all distractions, light a candle and stare at it. Lightly blow in its direction and watch it move erratically for a brief moment as it finds an equilibrium. Continue focusing on that flame and you may notice a subtle change happening within your perception. For myself, this focus becomes intense. What was once out of sight comes into view as it expands to create this greyish, yet mosaic image of the surrounding area outside of my focus on the flame.
Sounds like my son. I think I'm like this to degree but I've never been diagnosed with ADHD but Autism when I was a kid. Back then you couldn't have both. I relate to lot of person ADHD does but also know there is a large over lap.
The phrase "Pursuit of happiness," from the Declaration of Independence truly nails what happiness is-a roller coaster of feelings that has ups and downs and is something that isn't perpetually tied to an object. What do I mean by this? Happiness is often felt when there is a surge of positive emotion that fills us. The problem is we've wired ourselves to view external objects as the source of our happiness, when in reality, happiness is in our minds-which is why those with depression and anxiety (I have GAD myself) find it very difficult to be happy because our minds are constantly thinking about doom and gloom worst-case scenarios. Some of the happiness moments I've had is when I'm cleaning my room because my mind is empty and focused on the task at hand. No incessant whispers of doom, no arguing to myself, just pure peace of mind and focus working together. In that moment, I believe I am pursuing happiness via having peace of mind in the things that I'm doing, not in the rewards that I get. Happiness is not a perpetual thing. It will wax and wane like the moon in our sky. Having a healthy body and mind can help us prolong the feeling of happiness for a longer amount of time, but it will eventually pass, as well. If we understand this, I believe we'll be able to continue pursuing happiness and live our lives to the fullest. However, it'll take time to accept and appreciate the fleeting nature of happiness. After all, we don't want good things to end. But as the saying goes, "All good things must come to an end," happiness must also end. But worry not. It'll come back to you and you'll be able to pursue it again.
Fully agree ! Major tricky thing I find is that bringing about this mindset, feeling of sorts is already very hard but then, keeping it consistant, knowing how to tap into it that's what I find insanely challenging.
Yesterday I was happy. I reached a ton of goals, I felt great. Today I woke up and I had hypoglycemia during the night.. I feel a ton of pain on my hands and feet and I cried a little bit. The only one that can actually relate to me is Sisyphus, every day I make a lot of efforts to manage my conditions, I got a ton of diagnosis and I try my best to not let it get to me and just be. I have made a lot of progress, but every 2 months or so I get a new hypoglycemia thst damages my nerves and I wake up the next day like day zero. It is such a rinse and repeat situation that it is discouraging me. Anyway, I would love to see a video about dealing with the physical medical issues, because this is taking a toll on my mind, plus the brainfog that comes with this conditions make it hard for me to just exist.
I mean, I have MS, so my disease is different but yes, a Video on "dying extremely slowly and sometimes painfully to a chronic disease" would make one heck of a video.
This is so real. My happiness has increased dramatically because I completed those things that would linger on my mind. I take Nepali language classes because in my mind, I always thought, "I need to learn Nepali(my husband's native language)". The cost of Nepali lessons is a bargain if it means I will have more happiness! ढन्यवाद
The part with "watching shows while eating" caught me off-guard. But i decided to pause this video and minimized all windows until i was finished and thoughts came in from everywhere. But there was one thought i focused on and it was how grateful i am to be able to eat something like this and drink water just by grabbing a bottle. This is a privilege.
Exactly, my problem is the mental loads coming from the outside world. Tasks, what to do, must, should, comparisons. ... In fact, my pleasure is always in focusing on a simple game that I like, or writing a text that I enjoy, and I always have a fear of something unexpected. ... The solution that I have chosen personally, is that in moments of anxiety I sometimes strip life of all added human meanings, and I say to myself I have now chosen this meaning, which is this drawing or painting or game
I’ve been watching a lot of your content over the past 2 years and it’s gotten me to think about myself completely differently. I’ve learnt so much and right now I’m the happiest I have been (I’m hoping it’s not mania) despite having experienced traumatic events in the past. A lot of your ideas in this video resonated and I also learnt some more. Thank you Dr K.
For the lingering thoughts, there’s a verse from the Bible that says “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Today was my first time hearing of the verse but after looking into what it meant, it said we should give all our plans to God and then accept the plan he provides for us. Obviously I can’t say it helped me get rid of lingering thoughts yet, but I can definitely see how helpful it can be for thoughts if you give up all your desires and plans to God
I really hope this is HGG trending towards being more responsive to the material conditions of the world we live in! I would love love love to have a video talking about community and how we can become closer to each other, how to find community in today's hyper-individualistic societies, etc! Thank you Dr K
Just when Dr. K was explaining at 10:59 how the human mind hates to be bored, I opened this video in a different window on my second monitor so I could read the comments on it while watching the video on my first screen. 😐
Education + humor = happy 😂 on the most real note, happiness is something I’ve always struggled with. You absolutely have a point with boredom and multi focal though, but one thing people tend to neglect to mention is trauma. It’s extremely difficult to break out of cycles you were raised with. My friend calls it “speaking death into [you]”. For those of us with extensive trauma, I feel like there’s an extra layer to it and it makes finding or creating happiness that much more difficult.
Funny enough, I did a "free-balled" road trip with just a destination last year, and it changed my life completely. I'm saving up to do another one soon, I based the idea on Dr K's other video on "reaching the end of thought." After my last road trip, I made a major life change that I've been hesitating about for years. My old medication was leaving me numb and unable to act(avolition), but it has am 89 day half life, so just now I've reached less than 5% of it in my bloodstream and I feel better with no positive symptoms, the new medication works so much better.
Thank you for demystifying meditation. I do not know what it was like before I learned about it (many years ago), but, by the time I did begin to "learm" (or thought I was learning), it had become a fad, a fashion for "truly superiot people." For years, I bought books on meditation, each each one was, in reality, nkthing more than a cash cow from the authors and publishers. Slowly, i began to realize that meditation is not about having "wise thoughts," but emptying the mind, clearing the mind of mental garbage (one fad that does have merit is sweeping compared to meditation). Thank you for presenting meditation in a way that is truly useful and beneficial.
Dr. K Ive had a lingering thought for awhile now about breaking up with my high school sweetheart.. I watched another video from awhile back you did talking about the quarter life crisis. I find myself being at step 2b, intentionally checking out. So I decided to go back home to upper MI for a few weeks to be alone and get perspective to sort through whatever was making me so unhappy, and this video too really helped, just days before I’m about to fly there. I understand now that the trigger of my crisis is this lingering thought, and subsequently the dread and guilt of doing so. But I see now that I most likely must do it, so while I’m away I will focus on meditation, I’ll raw dog my flight lol, and when I get back I will hopefully have worked up the courage to get rid of this lingering thought, and continue to work on having a one pointed mind, thank you.
@@itsnorse Good luck to you on that. I’m in a similar position in my relationship. Trying to understand if it is a persistent thought I should listen to and trying to overall understand myself better. Would love an update! Also, what video exactly are you referring to?
I gave up all of my bad habits overnight, a lot thanks to you Dr. K. I'm documenting it on my channel and in hopes of healing my shattered brain. Thanks for your inspo, cheers!
Dr. K, I've been following you since your podcast with DOAC, you are an amazing person, the world really needs your work, please keep doing what you are doing! ✨
So much truth here!! This video is gold. I definitely find it very helpful to slow down craving or wanting things. To just stay in that moment of enjoyment (whatever that may be at the time) rather than slipping into wanting something different or slightly better is key for me. Not to mention squeeze as much juice out of my good experiences and emphasize liking. That way, the juice is worth the squeeze so to speak!
Interesting point of view. It's not the object but if you do anything that can mentally consume your attention like a true maker. I can get true joy in making. From the age of 10 I have done woodworking. Learned how to freehand, draw, and paint. The consuming act of designing, creating, then owing or gifting the object for the recipients joy of getting your time, resources, and the final creation. As their gift. Their happiness in having a piece of me.
Thank you for summarizing all these facts about happiness with this level of clarity and in a way that talks to me, and my guess is to so many other people in the "more" online and gaming community! I really appreciate your video and your words! ❤
Sooo.. completing or resolving your lingering thoughts makes them go away is what I get. And yes, there's always something to do about them, even though you don't feel that way, doing something else like training could indirectly resolve that thought/thing. I sometimes force myself to do something unpleasant first as soon as possible so I won't have to think about it any more. Thanks dr. K.
The segment at the end about lingering thoughts really resonated with me, but now I have a new problem, because the things I "need to do" involve other people, and I'm afraid I'd end up just offloading my problems.
Happiness I find I find is just being present in the moment. I had a person tell me that I find such happiness in small things in life. I was sitting on deck just eating a ice cream sandwich. The only thing in my mind was the sun shining down on me, the heat on my skin, the ice cream sandwich is my hand. I was just in moment.
Back when I was on probation I didn't have access to computers or the internet. I spent a lot of time bored out of my mind, but it didn't teach me to be happy.
I noticed this in myself that as soon as I saw what other's were upto I couldn't enjoy my own things so now I have basically banned myself from comparing. If I find myself comparing I just quickly try to distract myself and focus on something else.
"A wondering mind cant be a happy mind" I also heard “happiness is a direction not a destination” I like that one since in that analogy the lingering thoughts are like road signs telling tour where to go, but the road is also lined with cassinos and flashy neon sighs (short term distractions form the destination) There are no gas stations on this road, you have a set amount of gas (lifetime) left, oh and you don’t have a fuel gauge either. Do the boring thing and follow the sighs. Digging in to your self to find what the signs are for you is something everyone should do, sooner rather then later.
Agree. I especially like that it's not micro-edited to the point that it breaks the flow. A few videos in the past were like Dr. K trying to give a lecture while being in a hurry to catch a train...
Great vid as always. I sometimes sit and just think about the topics and solutions you discuss. I'm pretty lonely and introvert, but I love reflecting on stuff like this. I'm a bit of a philosopher and nerd for sure lol. Anyways thanks so much. I work full time and I'm highly educated so perhaps not your main demographic, but I still like these videos as some sort of self therapy. //greetings from a healthcare social worker
Thank you Dr K. It was really insightful. Deep down i knew all this stuff but it is the first time somebody formulated for me why I'm so addicted to scrolling down. I just need to get distracted from lingering thought, anxiety and worries
This reminds me on deleuze and guattari and their thesis of schizoanalysis. They said our mind is fractured in multiple cybernetic circuits based on desires and the brain needs work to unify that into a singular Direction and mental illnesses are basically a disturbance and shattering of that process
If you choose to watch just one video in 2025 it should be this one. I literally restarted it after finishing it. So much clarity. Goals for this year to achieve one pointedness of the mind. I definitely started this journey, but this just put to words what I felt needs to be done.
Seems like pieces of information which I had related to that topic just fit together into a puzzle, the way you make things step-by-step clear really amazed. Thank you for the video 🤗🧘♀️
Yes, one-pointed mind. I rly like to go achive this skill, it connects beautifly with what Tony Robbins said: "when Your feeling negative emotion, try to Focus on something that Your rly proud of". It helps, but its rly hard, because other thoughts creeps in.
Out of all the Dr. K video's I've watched recently, this one is definitely one of the most resonant *and* immediately applicable!!! Thank you Dr. K (and team)!!
This video was very needed today. Thank you. The irony is that I am listening to this while I was unpacking the dish washer 😅. I watch this video, accompanied by a video made by Ali Abdaal, titled "How to reset your dopamine". Together, both this video and that video gives a clear picture on why most people are unhappy. Both these videos deal with how bordom must not be feared and that it is okay to be bored. The other video talks about how bordom actually recharges your dopamine reserves in your dopamine receptors and why addictions + distractions makes you unhappy by crashing those dopamine reserves. Might explain why people who do this, are more happy than most.
You can see that you're doing major work, K. I like how you derive conclusions through patterns and you match life patterns to science. You're onto becoming way bigger, good luck.
YES I hve a feelng no one evr mentions how happiness mght be ovrrated in these kinda videos but I'm glad Dr K did. If tryna get somethng is gonna bring me pain and boredom, then sometimes the only way tht tht boredom needs to be dealt with is by doing the thng. Imma list all the thngs I need and all the thngs I want. Suffer and be bored a little bit to get evrthng I need and maybe a little bit of wht I want too. Only then will I bother with happiness and mindfulness and whtnot. Although ths means I got to be able to differentiate wht's somethng I need and wht's somethng I want. Cus if you realise too late tht one of the thngs you want is actually somethng you need, you may no longer be bothered to get it. I suppose you can undo all tht mindfulness by piling on more and more reasons for needng and wantng that thng. By being imaginative and seeing how the world as a whole can benefit frm tht thng, not jst yourself. And by being inspiring and tellng othr ppl you care abt abt tht thng. Tht way it won't be only your expectations you're tryna live up to but theirs too.
Wow I’m elated I got to bump into you at the grocery store today and touch on this topic with you the same day it was released. When I said “hello Dr K!” And you were 115 lbs soaking wet in the produce isle, the way you snapped your head 90 degrees to check showed how high alert you were to your surroundings (something I’m trying to practice). Then you asked me “YOU YOU SEE ME RIGHT NOW?!?!” With the most alarmed flabbergasted scowl. Before I could get a word in uou shouted “*POWER UP*” at the top of your lungs before ripping open the pack of bacon you’ve been gollum hunching over the whole time and devouring it as viciously as you could. Just as I was finished recovering from the shout, you let out a screech that sounded exactly like the hunter from left for dead 2, shattering the freezers glass doors and also my ear drums. Anyways hope to hear back from your insurance soon!
On my commute to work i have to walk for 15-20min each way to the office after the Train. I started to not use my Headphones and Phone for this walk and id helped me alot. It gave my minde each Day some time for thinking but also for just soaking in the Scenery and it changes.
Thank you so much doctor for teaching us this concept. This really did help me a lot. i practiced only doing and thinking about 2 task cleaning the table and my room after it might sound funny but i actually find cleaning the table really boaring and avoid it but when i focused on my breath and totally removed the thought that make me think that this task is boring, i was actually able to clean it without feeling boring coz i did not let the thought of boring come to my mind i was focusing on my breath and just doing the task. and later i was satisfied or happy maybe that i actually did the cleaning. i will definitely practice this more and implement it in my daily life.
I define happiness as smiling, such as when doing something. What I like about meditation is it removes things that grab your attention so you can easily put your attention onto the state of smiling. I think that smiling is what bliss is and what I call maxing out our connection to God.
I've started turning off all music and everything whenever I'm driving my car, I'm still driving so it's not complete boredom, but I can tell that this already usually magically "fixes my brain" for the day
I'm giving up all of my bad habits overnight, a lot thanks to you Dr K. I'll be documenting it on my channel and I'm hoping it can heal my shattered brain. Thanks for your inspo, cheers!
When it comes to mental health, i can recognize that as a people we're taking steps in the right direction as far as awareness, and acknowledgement of its vast spectrum. I think something else as a whole, is start recognizing, that each person has their own inner narrative and recognize strict reliance on psychology and therapy for what it is. While its important. Its a way of forcing those who have a different inner narrative to adhere to the narrative of the collective society. We teach them, that their experiences should be something to feel bad about. What if we acknowledged that whatever the individual went through while unfortunate is more of a badge of strength and should be honored. Those people should be empowered, not made to take in this mentality of victimhood. Who are we to force them into our collective narrative? What we all consider to be 'normal'? Perhaps we should all start acknowledging what we deem normal has no place dictating and inserting itself into someone elses narrative and perspective.
I just left a big heartfelt comment about how this is the best advice in the world that I've come to from my own 20+ experience and that has helped me a lot, and it got deleted....
“There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can’t take part; you can’t even passively take part, and you’ve got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you’ve got to make it stop. And you’ve got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you’re free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!” -Mario Savio
I highly recommend not doing anything at airports and on airplanes. In airports I go monk mode, just focus on eating my food, being at the gate on time, waiting patiently. On airplanes, I'll meditate for the majority of the ride. Helps a lot, and gets great results
My definition of boredom is "The lack of worth for your blessings of time and freedom" ergo if we want to remove boredom we must create worth and appreciation in our free time whether it be through introspection or limiting that time with effort in another aspect of our life.
My experience is that when I am focused on the one thing, I just don't notice the suffering because ame all that is in my mind is that one thing. But, I can also be thinking of many things and not be suffering. I can also focus on one thing, that one thing being pain or suffering, and be suffering.
Thats why i ask my all thoughts in deeper like if a guy gives you look then i ask myself if i am becoming happy that what if you both will end up and often i feel nothing cause the relationship and stuff is not what makes me happy so in any situation like ask yourself what if you will get this will you be REALLY HAPPY 😃
Amazing video! Helps a ton. Its so mutch fun to actually try to understand with what is going on in our minds. Mental health and these kind of informations should really be thaught in school. Would be so mutch value to our current society.
Used to read Epicure and range of stoics books not that long ago and while living in litarly war zone used to just accept that future not granted and you just need to live right now as well as happines not granted for you by anyone - and only person that can give this happines to you is you yourself (while being isolated for long time i really enjoed seing stars in middle of nowhere, seing fog slowly crawling downhills and rivers, or first snow that start to melt right a moment it fell down and first grass, or raindows - and really there not much you need to feel happy) and cherish what you have today and remind yourself of what you have and who you are and what it ment to be you and find enjoyment in being yourself and express it as well as find enjoy in talking with other people and enjoy in making them feel better and really i was less happy during live when i had everything (roof under head/food/normal civil job and so on) than right now when drone/planes use to bomb my city and kill ppl that i could meet not that long ago
Before listening to this. How to be happy is doing things that fulfil you on a deeper level. And honestly I was pretty close, because when you do those things, a one pointed mind is almost guaranteed.
Saved mine, depressed over 20 years but depression free 3+ months now after just a few hours of his videos (and many hours in my own time taking what he said into practice)
Some months ago I used to do a commute of about 3h to university and strangely the best thing that could happen to me was my phone getting out of charge, it was a bit frustrating but that happened enough times for me to start feeling much better with being bored, that helped a lot with studying after, suddenly the reading material was very interesting, but now that some negative stuff happened, all the feeling keep flooding in and my screen time has been of like 8h a day, it’s hard to focus now, I want to go back in track but it’s quite painful
This is interesting. I have no idea what happiness is, but everybody keeps telling me that I need it. Then I make an effort and still don't understand it, which is why I do not achieve it, which in turn makes me unhappy. I know what unhappy means, I have experienced it. I'll gladly go for not being unhappy and be done with it.
Yes, it IS a Jojo reference.
:O Oh! You're approaching me?
Wouldn't this be contentment, not "happiness"?
Purple guy
@@themacocko6311 I am pretty ignorant to what the words mean specifficaly. But I think the difference lies between the two options he described where you can choose between becoming a yogi, becoming acceptant, becoming content *or* doing the thing that produces de lingering thought which (I think) per definition not being content.
Peak recognize peak...
Honestly probably going to be one of the most important videos of 2025 on this platform
lol year just started dog
High praised! We're honored.
important video and channels lol
This is the most amazing time to be alive - to witness the the re-birthing of America
@@Mushkiepotamus into a regarded child?
Note to self: Meditation to focus on one thing, be bored more, stop ruminating thoughts by noticing, resolving.
Resolving?? Do not understand
As someone who has actual ocd, simply resolving the thought doesn’t occur or work out, and with the metaphor of everyone having ocd he used, id say learn to sit with the uncertainty that rumination may be ruining your happiness, then move on, in turn avoiding rumination
@awxuh I think you are right, I meant like if the source of the negative thought is something I can fix like a task I have been putting off, my room is a mess, I should focus on fixing that.
That's a pretty powerful realization @awxuh
Just startet trataka after hitting roof on previous techniques, wish me luck, guys.
Is this why doom scrolling is so bad? You can never have a one-pointed mind when you’re constantly moving to the next topic after 60 seconds or less
@@jakejulian7452 good point
I would actually disagree. Even though it is broken into segments, the act of scrolling itself is actually separated from the individual videos and this is easy to prove because we will continue to scroll even after coming across multiple videos we don't enjoy.
I would say doom-scrolling is so bad because of how many negative points it can hit on. In a few minutes you can be reminded that you are in poor shape, financially unstable, live in an imperfect world, ugly, stupid, unfunny, etc. The act of scrolling is so focused specifically on content that is unfocused (cat video followed by AI slop followed by science followed by standup comedy within minutes) that you are essentially in a flow state of "unpointedness". Focused specifically on taking in different unexpected and uncontrollable thoughts or information. I hope I am explaining this half as well as it's put together in my head.
EDIT: I figured out how I want to word this.
Doom scrolling is essentially the flow state of inviting in the exact opposite of flow state. The one-pointedness specifically aimed at un-pointedness. It is like being vaccinated for a disease, and then receiving that exact disease via the vaccination. It's the same disease, but it gets directly injected into your system in high concentration making it harder to fight. (I know this isn't really quite how disease and immunity works. but the way I wrote the example should make it fairly clear.)
@CryinOverSpilledTea doom scrolling is bad because your brain interprets videos you watch as reality, and you are experiencing too many opposite emotions in very short period of time. That's why you get unhealthy amount of domapine, which keeps you engaged. Even if YOU understand that you are simply loosing time, your BRAIN wants to keep getting dopamine and does not want to return to relatively hard work instead.
Also, it has something to do with focus as well. You literally change the topic of information you get every lets say 10-60 seconds. People who doom scroll are less capable of watching simple TH-cam videos, because their brain says "naah, first 10 seconds of the vid are boring, lets watch something else". That is the opposite of meditation. That is untraining your mind to focus on one point.
And the reason you keep scrolling is that short videos are doing all work for you, so that brain is always FOCUSED, but brain is not doing anything to achieve that, when meditation is using you brain to eliminate all thoughts and FOCUS on one thing
Its just another word for mindless action. In actuality you can suffer the same problems from other actions if you dont let control of the thoughts
Yep. This is why one of the first things that I tell my friends who complain about their attention spans is to swap out short-form content with movies. Obviously the end-goal is not to watch movies all day, but a lot of the times people will notice that they actually can't just sit down and watch a movie in it's entirety without pausing anymore. But if you practice enough, then you can move on to reading a book or playing a game for long periods of uninterrupted time. Then just keep moving on to more boring but more fulfilling things from there.
I have ADHD and the "not enjoying games you think you should enjoy" is a daily experience. I came to realize that my mind not being able to be in the moment is what robs me of the enjoyment of the game.
The "opportunity cost evaluation" my mind does is always active, part of my mind focuses on what I could be doing instead of being on what I am doing, this takes away my ability to enjoy what I am doing.
Feel this every day. Part of the reason why weed is so effective on me, it just makes me really appreciate things in a way I never do these days.
yep I totally relate to this. I feel like Weed allows me to be present with myself and look inward
Something that has helped me and Dr. K talked about before, is that your subconcious mind is doing a different cost calculation than your conscious mind. Our entire mind is extremely efficient and it will rebel against inefficient actions. So what really helps is trying to understand what else is in the equation and what in your life is weighting more on playing videogames rather than doing anything else or what exactly is really that painful about doing something else preventing you from doing. With this you can start to try and reevaluate the equation.
the first two comments here are horrible don't do drugs bro. the third comment more reasonable. for your second paragraph I feel the same its actually me overthinking how I could be enjoying something more and this robs me of enjoying the entertainment I am doing at the moment. for this I try to just not let myself think too much about it and accept that things arent always to be planned and spontaneity is good in life. idk when I got so compulsive honestly I'm trying to reverse it now so hope I can succeed and I hope you can enjoy gaming again. btw this isn't a long term answer but being slightly sleep deprived helps me not think too much when enjoying things so try that maybe idk. now that I think about it you said opportunity cost so if the reason is work/studies then try to get that over with first. i know it doesn't work to just say do it cause I suck at it do but I'm trying to form a routine now as a college student so I have something to look forward to on the weekend so try that if this is the case for you. do work on weekdays and enjoy the nights on weekends with gaming or friends
@@AninomousUser We aren’t saying to this person that weed is the answer, we are simply relating to him using weed as a coping mechanism. Of course weed isn’t a long term solution, just like sleep deprivation isn’t. I think it’s important to understand why a person smokes weed because from there, you can understand what you think you’re missing and try to find it in healthier ways.
I think what Dr. K said about mindfulness actually being mindlessness really hits home when you watch Alan Watts illusion of ego video. a quote I like from him is “when all you do is think, you have nothing to think about but thoughts themselves “
@@Shannendetro a person who thinks all the time has nothing to think except toughts
@@triachinidx436 Yup
@@Shannendetro right, like, I heard someone else say something like - people don’t “lose” their minds and end up an unstable homeless person or hurting or killing someone. It’s more like the mind has taken over, their own delusional reality has taken over and they’re no longer living in reality, they’re living in their mind. If you “lost” your mind and you opinions and certainties and what you think is true, and just embraced reality as it is, you’d probably be pretty content.
Mindfulness is mindlessness only if you allow it to become that. Those who master it know that with all things, it's a balance. Those who rely on the meditation to stabilize themselves are when itself has become self detrimental. So while he has a point, it's not an absolute truth. It's merely a perspective.
@ yes absolutely, I think that’s why he said “if all you do “but I completely agree with you. You can’t always live in the present or else you’ll never learn from the past, and all you do is think of the past you’ll never be in the present.
I would love Dr K to do a video about tolerating people and things that disrupt your peace of mind. Strained family relationships in particular and boundaries. I personally have learned to just distance myself but would be interested in any other science based things we can do to maintain peace and happiness when it comes to people who hurt you either directly/consciously or indirectly/subconsciously
I have been experiencing this altered state of mind lately for longer than ever before. It feels surreal, I was close to saying to my psychologist that it seemed to be a super power just yesterday !
Only two years of (good) psychoterapy, getting out of home, trying, failing, seeking courage, keeping at it.
Stay strongs brothers,
Keep trying.
💪
I have never played a video game in my life, but I’m a medical student and I find your videos immensely helpful. I send them to literally everyone I know from my little brother in high school to my middle aged cousin and they find your videos amazing. Thank you Dr. K🍣
Good day, I too love mangoes and 26 is my favorite number
You missed a lot but it's fine
Have you been a prisoner all your life? Do you need help?
I've told my daughter so many times that she has to learn to be okay with being bored. I'm sending her this video. Maybe she'll understand when you say it.
I've been trying to get a close friend of mine who's suffered depression her whole life to start listening to him too. His videos took decades of my depression away as after just a few hours of his videos I knew what I needed to do to get better. 3+ months depression/sadness free now. Good luck with your daughter - hope she finds her own happiness
i just wanna say what an amazing parent giving advice that’s actually useful for this generation
Hey man I just wanted to let you know as a child of a parent that often gives me this type of advice if it comes across like lecturing or that you know better than your child then it can often put us off and make us feel like you're just trying to impose on us even when it could come from a place of caring I just wanted to let you know that if you ask her questions about her experience of being bored and try to understand and then let her know what you've learned about it it can often come across a lot more sincere
In order to get someone to understand what you are saying is to focus on really listening to THEM first. Showing genuine interest in how they are feeling and what they are thinking can help make communication possible.
I command you to be happy!
I think skilled meditators, Dr. K, would say the goal is not to empty your mind (that's actually an impossible objective to practice actively) but to not be attached to the items that pass through your mind. A consequence of doing this enough through mindfulness and meditation is that your thoughts do decrease, however that's a very vital distinction.
That kind of fractured mind is exactly my experience with ADHD. Very rarely am I ever completely focused on one thing. I always have something else going on in my head. The only activities that consistently lead to focus are music production and highly competitive video games. This experience also leads me to use cannabis because, while high it seems like whatever I'm doing is the most important thing ever. My curiosity about the activities I engage in while high feels limitless. I can go down rabbit holes of seemingly innocuous topics and come out the other end with a greater appreciation for that thing and the world. I can't figure out how to feel that way during everyday life
this is such a mood.
Oh yes! Good point
i’m in the exact same spot with different interests. stimulants are horrible for my anxiety and getting high is one of the best ways to achieve this one pointed mind for an evening.
A very simple, and perhaps boring, thing I like to do from time to time during the night is to remove all distractions, light a candle and stare at it. Lightly blow in its direction and watch it move erratically for a brief moment as it finds an equilibrium. Continue focusing on that flame and you may notice a subtle change happening within your perception.
For myself, this focus becomes intense. What was once out of sight comes into view as it expands to create this greyish, yet mosaic image of the surrounding area outside of my focus on the flame.
Sounds like my son. I think I'm like this to degree but I've never been diagnosed with ADHD but Autism when I was a kid. Back then you couldn't have both. I relate to lot of person ADHD does but also know there is a large over lap.
The phrase "Pursuit of happiness," from the Declaration of Independence truly nails what happiness is-a roller coaster of feelings that has ups and downs and is something that isn't perpetually tied to an object. What do I mean by this?
Happiness is often felt when there is a surge of positive emotion that fills us. The problem is we've wired ourselves to view external objects as the source of our happiness, when in reality, happiness is in our minds-which is why those with depression and anxiety (I have GAD myself) find it very difficult to be happy because our minds are constantly thinking about doom and gloom worst-case scenarios.
Some of the happiness moments I've had is when I'm cleaning my room because my mind is empty and focused on the task at hand. No incessant whispers of doom, no arguing to myself, just pure peace of mind and focus working together. In that moment, I believe I am pursuing happiness via having peace of mind in the things that I'm doing, not in the rewards that I get.
Happiness is not a perpetual thing. It will wax and wane like the moon in our sky. Having a healthy body and mind can help us prolong the feeling of happiness for a longer amount of time, but it will eventually pass, as well.
If we understand this, I believe we'll be able to continue pursuing happiness and live our lives to the fullest. However, it'll take time to accept and appreciate the fleeting nature of happiness. After all, we don't want good things to end. But as the saying goes, "All good things must come to an end," happiness must also end. But worry not. It'll come back to you and you'll be able to pursue it again.
Fully agree !
Major tricky thing I find is that bringing about this mindset, feeling of sorts is already very hard but then, keeping it consistant, knowing how to tap into it that's what I find insanely challenging.
Lingering thoughts also come from past regrets as they creep in during boredom.
Dr K got diffrent vibe in this video. He is becoming free and wild
Yesterday I was happy. I reached a ton of goals, I felt great. Today I woke up and I had hypoglycemia during the night.. I feel a ton of pain on my hands and feet and I cried a little bit. The only one that can actually relate to me is Sisyphus, every day I make a lot of efforts to manage my conditions, I got a ton of diagnosis and I try my best to not let it get to me and just be. I have made a lot of progress, but every 2 months or so I get a new hypoglycemia thst damages my nerves and I wake up the next day like day zero. It is such a rinse and repeat situation that it is discouraging me.
Anyway, I would love to see a video about dealing with the physical medical issues, because this is taking a toll on my mind, plus the brainfog that comes with this conditions make it hard for me to just exist.
Omg i hope you wil get better 😭😭😭😭
Sorry English is not my native language
@MADDCLOWN thank you, I came to work today and I feel kind of better, I mean I lost sensation (again), but not having pain helps a lot
I mean, I have MS, so my disease is different but yes, a Video on "dying extremely slowly and sometimes painfully to a chronic disease" would make one heck of a video.
I hooe you get better soon🫂
This is so real. My happiness has increased dramatically because I completed those things that would linger on my mind. I take Nepali language classes because in my mind, I always thought, "I need to learn Nepali(my husband's native language)". The cost of Nepali lessons is a bargain if it means I will have more happiness! ढन्यवाद
The part with "watching shows while eating" caught me off-guard. But i decided to pause this video and minimized all windows until i was finished and thoughts came in from everywhere.
But there was one thought i focused on and it was how grateful i am to be able to eat something like this and drink water just by grabbing a bottle. This is a privilege.
You cooked with this one Dr. K. Hit a lot of points from the membership livestreams
You've been a big help to me Dr. K, love your videos!
Exactly, my problem is the mental loads coming from the outside world. Tasks, what to do, must, should, comparisons.
...
In fact, my pleasure is always in focusing on a simple game that I like, or writing a text that I enjoy, and I always have a fear of something unexpected.
...
The solution that I have chosen personally, is that in moments of anxiety I sometimes strip life of all added human meanings, and I say to myself I have now chosen this meaning, which is this drawing or painting or game
I’ve been watching a lot of your content over the past 2 years and it’s gotten me to think about myself completely differently. I’ve learnt so much and right now I’m the happiest I have been (I’m hoping it’s not mania) despite having experienced traumatic events in the past. A lot of your ideas in this video resonated and I also learnt some more. Thank you Dr K.
For the lingering thoughts, there’s a verse from the Bible that says “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Today was my first time hearing of the verse but after looking into what it meant, it said we should give all our plans to God and then accept the plan he provides for us. Obviously I can’t say it helped me get rid of lingering thoughts yet, but I can definitely see how helpful it can be for thoughts if you give up all your desires and plans to God
Thank you! Can I know where is this verse from? Id like to read it n keep it too ❤
@@LeniTjahjadi sure! It’s in proverbs 19
Always love it when we get an instant Dr. K classic quote 16:38 hahaha
😅😅😅
I really hope this is HGG trending towards being more responsive to the material conditions of the world we live in! I would love love love to have a video talking about community and how we can become closer to each other, how to find community in today's hyper-individualistic societies, etc! Thank you Dr K
Just when Dr. K was explaining at 10:59 how the human mind hates to be bored, I opened this video in a different window on my second monitor so I could read the comments on it while watching the video on my first screen. 😐
Education + humor = happy 😂
on the most real note, happiness is something I’ve always struggled with. You absolutely have a point with boredom and multi focal though, but one thing people tend to neglect to mention is trauma. It’s extremely difficult to break out of cycles you were raised with. My friend calls it “speaking death into [you]”. For those of us with extensive trauma, I feel like there’s an extra layer to it and it makes finding or creating happiness that much more difficult.
Funny enough, I did a "free-balled" road trip with just a destination last year, and it changed my life completely. I'm saving up to do another one soon, I based the idea on Dr K's other video on "reaching the end of thought."
After my last road trip, I made a major life change that I've been hesitating about for years. My old medication was leaving me numb and unable to act(avolition), but it has am 89 day half life, so just now I've reached less than 5% of it in my bloodstream and I feel better with no positive symptoms, the new medication works so much better.
Road trip!!! Chat, into the car, @@TheMarmadukian is driving
Thank you for demystifying meditation. I do not know what it was like before I learned about it (many years ago), but, by the time I did begin to "learm" (or thought I was learning), it had become a fad, a fashion for "truly superiot people." For years, I bought books on meditation, each each one was, in reality, nkthing more than a cash cow from the authors and publishers. Slowly, i began to realize that meditation is not about having "wise thoughts," but emptying the mind, clearing the mind of mental garbage (one fad that does have merit is sweeping compared to meditation). Thank you for presenting meditation in a way that is truly useful and beneficial.
Dr. K Ive had a lingering thought for awhile now about breaking up with my high school sweetheart.. I watched another video from awhile back you did talking about the quarter life crisis. I find myself being at step 2b, intentionally checking out. So I decided to go back home to upper MI for a few weeks to be alone and get perspective to sort through whatever was making me so unhappy, and this video too really helped, just days before I’m about to fly there. I understand now that the trigger of my crisis is this lingering thought, and subsequently the dread and guilt of doing so. But I see now that I most likely must do it, so while I’m away I will focus on meditation, I’ll raw dog my flight lol, and when I get back I will hopefully have worked up the courage to get rid of this lingering thought, and continue to work on having a one pointed mind, thank you.
@@itsnorse Good luck to you on that. I’m in a similar position in my relationship. Trying to understand if it is a persistent thought I should listen to and trying to overall understand myself better. Would love an update! Also, what video exactly are you referring to?
I gave up all of my bad habits overnight, a lot thanks to you Dr. K. I'm documenting it on my channel and in hopes of healing my shattered brain. Thanks for your inspo, cheers!
instructions unclear;
*TITTY MEDITATION ACTIVATED*
Oh no
@@HealthyGamerGGOCH YEAHHHH
Reporting for duty 🫡
Dr. K, I've been following you since your podcast with DOAC, you are an amazing person, the world really needs your work, please keep doing what you are doing! ✨
Damn, Dr K was fired up in this. Amazing video!
So much truth here!! This video is gold. I definitely find it very helpful to slow down craving or wanting things. To just stay in that moment of enjoyment (whatever that may be at the time) rather than slipping into wanting something different or slightly better is key for me. Not to mention squeeze as much juice out of my good experiences and emphasize liking. That way, the juice is worth the squeeze so to speak!
The best thing that ever had to me was finding this channel. Thank you so much Dr. K!
Binge-watching this video gave me a one-pointed mind, and by the end, I found a solution to my lingering thoughts
I love that you're not a rigid individual. Thanks for the wonderful message/s and keep the bloopers coming 😂😂❤❤
You being so natural, speaking the way we actually talk, makes it feel like something I can truly understand, so thank you so much ❤
Interesting point of view. It's not the object but if you do anything that can mentally consume your attention like a true maker. I can get true joy in making. From the age of 10 I have done woodworking. Learned how to freehand, draw, and paint. The consuming act of designing, creating, then owing or gifting the object for the recipients joy of getting your time, resources, and the final creation. As their gift. Their happiness in having a piece of me.
Thank you for summarizing all these facts about happiness with this level of clarity and in a way that talks to me, and my guess is to so many other people in the "more" online and gaming community! I really appreciate your video and your words! ❤
Timing of the video coming up is incredible, Thank You and wish me luck❤
I like this guy. I suffer from the exact predicaments he describes. I feel he's spot on, and he gave me a chuckle or two.
Sooo.. completing or resolving your lingering thoughts makes them go away is what I get. And yes, there's always something to do about them, even though you don't feel that way, doing something else like training could indirectly resolve that thought/thing. I sometimes force myself to do something unpleasant first as soon as possible so I won't have to think about it any more. Thanks dr. K.
The segment at the end about lingering thoughts really resonated with me, but now I have a new problem, because the things I "need to do" involve other people, and I'm afraid I'd end up just offloading my problems.
Happiness I find I find is just being present in the moment. I had a person tell me that I find such happiness in small things in life. I was sitting on deck just eating a ice cream sandwich. The only thing in my mind was the sun shining down on me, the heat on my skin, the ice cream sandwich is my hand. I was just in moment.
Thank you Dr K, amazing content
Back when I was on probation I didn't have access to computers or the internet. I spent a lot of time bored out of my mind, but it didn't teach me to be happy.
I noticed this in myself that as soon as I saw what other's were upto I couldn't enjoy my own things so now I have basically banned myself from comparing. If I find myself comparing I just quickly try to distract myself and focus on something else.
"A wondering mind cant be a happy mind"
I also heard “happiness is a direction not a destination”
I like that one since in that analogy the lingering thoughts are like road signs telling tour where to go, but the road is also lined with cassinos and flashy neon sighs (short term distractions form the destination) There are no gas stations on this road, you have a set amount of gas (lifetime) left, oh and you don’t have a fuel gauge either.
Do the boring thing and follow the sighs.
Digging in to your self to find what the signs are for you is something everyone should do, sooner rather then later.
like the editing on this one, it's not too edit-y and has good progression still. even funny when it cuts 5:54
Woo!!! Our editing team has been working hard trying out new stuff 🎉
Agree. I especially like that it's not micro-edited to the point that it breaks the flow. A few videos in the past were like Dr. K trying to give a lecture while being in a hurry to catch a train...
Great vid as always. I sometimes sit and just think about the topics and solutions you discuss. I'm pretty lonely and introvert, but I love reflecting on stuff like this. I'm a bit of a philosopher and nerd for sure lol. Anyways thanks so much. I work full time and I'm highly educated so perhaps not your main demographic, but I still like these videos as some sort of self therapy. //greetings from a healthcare social worker
You will never be any happier than you chose to be at this moment.
16:43
My new life's mantra. Thanks Dr. K
You should put that on a t-shirt ❤
🤔👀
Thank you Dr K. It was really insightful. Deep down i knew all this stuff but it is the first time somebody formulated for me why I'm so addicted to scrolling down. I just need to get distracted from lingering thought, anxiety and worries
This reminds me on deleuze and guattari and their thesis of schizoanalysis. They said our mind is fractured in multiple cybernetic circuits based on desires and the brain needs work to unify that into a singular Direction and mental illnesses are basically a disturbance and shattering of that process
Thank you Dr. K for this video!
If you choose to watch just one video in 2025 it should be this one. I literally restarted it after finishing it.
So much clarity. Goals for this year to achieve one pointedness of the mind. I definitely started this journey, but this just put to words what I felt needs to be done.
Deff needed this video today
Same
Relatable
Seems like pieces of information which I had related to that topic just fit together into a puzzle, the way you make things step-by-step clear really amazed. Thank you for the video 🤗🧘♀️
Yes, one-pointed mind. I rly like to go achive this skill, it connects beautifly with what Tony Robbins said: "when Your feeling negative emotion, try to Focus on something that Your rly proud of". It helps, but its rly hard, because other thoughts creeps in.
Thank you Dr. K, perfect timing on this video fr
Out of all the Dr. K video's I've watched recently, this one is definitely one of the most resonant *and* immediately applicable!!! Thank you Dr. K (and team)!!
This video was very needed today. Thank you. The irony is that I am listening to this while I was unpacking the dish washer 😅. I watch this video, accompanied by a video made by Ali Abdaal, titled "How to reset your dopamine". Together, both this video and that video gives a clear picture on why most people are unhappy. Both these videos deal with how bordom must not be feared and that it is okay to be bored. The other video talks about how bordom actually recharges your dopamine reserves in your dopamine receptors and why addictions + distractions makes you unhappy by crashing those dopamine reserves. Might explain why people who do this, are more happy than most.
Ali's a friend of ours, sounds like a great pairing to us!
You can see that you're doing major work, K. I like how you derive conclusions through patterns and you match life patterns to science. You're onto becoming way bigger, good luck.
YES I hve a feelng no one evr mentions how happiness mght be ovrrated in these kinda videos but I'm glad Dr K did. If tryna get somethng is gonna bring me pain and boredom, then sometimes the only way tht tht boredom needs to be dealt with is by doing the thng.
Imma list all the thngs I need and all the thngs I want. Suffer and be bored a little bit to get evrthng I need and maybe a little bit of wht I want too. Only then will I bother with happiness and mindfulness and whtnot.
Although ths means I got to be able to differentiate wht's somethng I need and wht's somethng I want. Cus if you realise too late tht one of the thngs you want is actually somethng you need, you may no longer be bothered to get it.
I suppose you can undo all tht mindfulness by piling on more and more reasons for needng and wantng that thng. By being imaginative and seeing how the world as a whole can benefit frm tht thng, not jst yourself. And by being inspiring and tellng othr ppl you care abt abt tht thng. Tht way it won't be only your expectations you're tryna live up to but theirs too.
Seriously Dr k seeing your videos nade me realize i wasn’t as broke as i thought. Now i am going throw one of the happiest moments of my life
I love how y'all being like the old school dr k. Love y'all work❤
thank you so much for this video dr. K and team, so many insight
Wow I’m elated I got to bump into you at the grocery store today and touch on this topic with you the same day it was released. When I said “hello Dr K!” And you were 115 lbs soaking wet in the produce isle, the way you snapped your head 90 degrees to check showed how high alert you were to your surroundings (something I’m trying to practice). Then you asked me “YOU YOU SEE ME RIGHT NOW?!?!” With the most alarmed flabbergasted scowl. Before I could get a word in uou shouted “*POWER UP*” at the top of your lungs before ripping open the pack of bacon you’ve been gollum hunching over the whole time and devouring it as viciously as you could. Just as I was finished recovering from the shout, you let out a screech that sounded exactly like the hunter from left for dead 2, shattering the freezers glass doors and also my ear drums. Anyways hope to hear back from your insurance soon!
Creating a practice to tolerate boredom is different than having to do something that is boring with no control over it's duration or frequency.
Or I can refraim it as getting paid to practice tolarating boredom at an elite level daily 😅.
Yep lmao, paid to tolerate boredom is probably like 99% of jobs
I should have listened to your videos early... You have incredibly pragmatically wise content
On my commute to work i have to walk for 15-20min each way to the office after the Train. I started to not use my Headphones and Phone for this walk and id helped me alot. It gave my minde each Day some time for thinking but also for just soaking in the Scenery and it changes.
Yugal Kanojia here👋🏻thanks Dr. Kanojia🙌🏻❤️🩹
im on a diet right now so i feel immensly irritated some time, but ain't gonna lie your advice is on point thank you dr k😊
Thank you so much doctor for teaching us this concept. This really did help me a lot. i practiced only doing and thinking about 2 task cleaning the table and my room after it might sound funny but i actually find cleaning the table really boaring and avoid it but when i focused on my breath and totally removed the thought that make me think that this task is boring, i was actually able to clean it without feeling boring coz i did not let the thought of boring come to my mind i was focusing on my breath and just doing the task. and later i was satisfied or happy maybe that i actually did the cleaning. i will definitely practice this more and implement it in my daily life.
Great video, thank you so so much for continuing to help
I define happiness as smiling, such as when doing something.
What I like about meditation is it removes things that grab your attention so you can easily put your attention onto the state of smiling.
I think that smiling is what bliss is and what I call maxing out our connection to God.
I've started turning off all music and everything whenever I'm driving my car, I'm still driving so it's not complete boredom, but I can tell that this already usually magically "fixes my brain" for the day
Thank you for your work 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you
I'm giving up all of my bad habits overnight, a lot thanks to you Dr K. I'll be documenting it on my channel and I'm hoping it can heal my shattered brain. Thanks for your inspo, cheers!
When it comes to mental health, i can recognize that as a people we're taking steps in the right direction as far as awareness, and acknowledgement of its vast spectrum. I think something else as a whole, is start recognizing, that each person has their own inner narrative and recognize strict reliance on psychology and therapy for what it is. While its important. Its a way of forcing those who have a different inner narrative to adhere to the narrative of the collective society. We teach them, that their experiences should be something to feel bad about. What if we acknowledged that whatever the individual went through while unfortunate is more of a badge of strength and should be honored. Those people should be empowered, not made to take in this mentality of victimhood. Who are we to force them into our collective narrative? What we all consider to be 'normal'? Perhaps we should all start acknowledging what we deem normal has no place dictating and inserting itself into someone elses narrative and perspective.
Thank you Dr. Kanojia. Your videos have been supplementing my weekly therapy sessions and have added to the tools I need in life.
I just left a big heartfelt comment about how this is the best advice in the world that I've come to from my own 20+ experience and that has helped me a lot, and it got deleted....
“There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can’t take part; you can’t even passively take part, and you’ve got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you’ve got to make it stop. And you’ve got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you’re free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!”
-Mario Savio
Thank you so much for your great helpful videos, you are the only one TH-camr that I watch for a long time 💙
I highly recommend not doing anything at airports and on airplanes. In airports I go monk mode, just focus on eating my food, being at the gate on time, waiting patiently. On airplanes, I'll meditate for the majority of the ride. Helps a lot, and gets great results
My definition of boredom is "The lack of worth for your blessings of time and freedom" ergo if we want to remove boredom we must create worth and appreciation in our free time whether it be through introspection or limiting that time with effort in another aspect of our life.
My experience is that when I am focused on the one thing, I just don't notice the suffering because ame all that is in my mind is that one thing. But, I can also be thinking of many things and not be suffering. I can also focus on one thing, that one thing being pain or suffering, and be suffering.
Thats why i ask my all thoughts in deeper like if a guy gives you look then i ask myself if i am becoming happy that what if you both will end up and often i feel nothing cause the relationship and stuff is not what makes me happy so in any situation like ask yourself what if you will get this will you be REALLY HAPPY 😃
Thank you ❤ this is a really important video! I needed it!
Dr. k, PLEASE NEVER REMOVE THIS VIDEO FROM THE INTERNET.
Thank you, so helpful!
Amazing video! Helps a ton. Its so mutch fun to actually try to understand with what is going on in our minds. Mental health and these kind of informations should really be thaught in school. Would be so mutch value to our current society.
Used to read Epicure and range of stoics books not that long ago
and while living in litarly war zone used to just accept that future not granted and you just need to live right now
as well as happines not granted for you by anyone - and only person that can give this happines to you is you yourself (while being isolated for long time i really enjoed seing stars in middle of nowhere, seing fog slowly crawling downhills and rivers, or first snow that start to melt right a moment it fell down and first grass, or raindows - and really there not much you need to feel happy)
and cherish what you have today and remind yourself of what you have and who you are and what it ment to be you and find enjoyment in being yourself and express it
as well as find enjoy in talking with other people and enjoy in making them feel better
and really i was less happy during live when i had everything (roof under head/food/normal civil job and so on) than right now when drone/planes use to bomb my city and kill ppl that i could meet not that long ago
Now I know on what should I meditate. Love it
Before listening to this. How to be happy is doing things that fulfil you on a deeper level. And honestly I was pretty close, because when you do those things, a one pointed mind is almost guaranteed.
Bro you're really gonna save my life
Saved mine, depressed over 20 years but depression free 3+ months now after just a few hours of his videos (and many hours in my own time taking what he said into practice)
Some months ago I used to do a commute of about 3h to university and strangely the best thing that could happen to me was my phone getting out of charge, it was a bit frustrating but that happened enough times for me to start feeling much better with being bored, that helped a lot with studying after, suddenly the reading material was very interesting, but now that some negative stuff happened, all the feeling keep flooding in and my screen time has been of like 8h a day, it’s hard to focus now, I want to go back in track but it’s quite painful
This is interesting. I have no idea what happiness is, but everybody keeps telling me that I need it. Then I make an effort and still don't understand it, which is why I do not achieve it, which in turn makes me unhappy. I know what unhappy means, I have experienced it. I'll gladly go for not being unhappy and be done with it.