Why Divorce Is So Expensive In The U.S.
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ย. 2023
- No one gets married expecting to get divorced. But when you get married, are you considering how much a potential divorce might cost you? In 2021 there were nearly 700,000 divorces in the U.S. A simple uncontested divorce can cost thousands of dollars but a contested divorce, could put you out hundreds of thousands of dollars. Watch this video to learn how you can protect yourself.
Chapters:
1:18 Fees
4:01 Aftermath
6:39 Cost of moving on
8:18 Reducing costs
Produced, Shot and Edited by: Emily Lorsch
Animation: Jason Reginato and Alex Wood
Senior Managing Producer: Tala Hadavi
Additional Footage: Getty Images
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Why Divorce Is So Expensive In The U.S.
Going through divorce made me realize one thing, I should’ve been a divorce lawyer. No career field has better job security
Divorces are expensive in the US because it is not about separating, it's about winning. As long as the other person suffers people would rather impoverish themselves rather than comming to a reasonable agreement.
Big Facts
"It's about winning" pretty much sums up Americans' view on life
All about money
@@RonnieOP- exactly it is about the culture!
Yup!
Two steps to avoid personal bankruptcy and ruin your life:
1. Don`t get married.
2. Follow step one.
Don't forget the joke(???) that while behind every successful man there might be a woman, behind every man who's a failure is two women!
I was married for six years and my ex wife cheated me, ran up a lot of debt, and tried to stick me with all the debt when she left me for another guy. Fortunately I was able get out of it by filing bankruptcy. I’m not happy I had to file bankruptcy, but it was worth it. Most important, we never had children.
Get married but don’t register
Or just cohabit. Just don't get married.
Being married has a lot of financial benefits. Just have both individuals work out the finances early and sign a contract like my parents did where assets are kept separated. My mom owned like half a dozen properties solely on her name until she passed away in 2020 due to heart complications (parents were married for 37 years).
Devastating divorces are almost always a result of lack of early planning. Discuss hard things during good times instead of bad times.
The biggest financial decision you will ever make is who you marry.
I got divorced back in 2017; I wouldn’t wish divorce on anyone. That was the most stressful time of my life.
I had to go through a divorce too in 2011. It was the most stressful and powerless feeling I ever had to endure. I understand exactly how you feel. I’m so glad I never had children with my ex-wife.
How much it cost😢?
I'll never forget what My uncle told me "if your on the fence about getting married, don't do it"
@@mazedar_tv I spoke to only 1 lawyer before deciding to represent myself. He quoted me $10,000
THIS
I had an uncontested divorce in CA in 2017. No kids. I was retired, she was close to retirement. It cost less than $1,000 which were mostly just document fees. I had legal insurance that covered my lawyer fees. The whole thing, from start to filing, took 5 weeks. I sold everything and moved to Thailand.
You became a Passport Bro! I'm sure you are loving it out there...
@@floydphillipsco He's not the only one, I'm also a passport bro 😊 I'm in D.R right now while my girlfriend is in school. The last thing I would do is get married in the states ESPECIALLY to an american woman.
Where women can still be imprisoned & Muhrican betas can impersonate alphas.
That’s how most uncontested divorces go. It only costs rich people a lot because they are fighting over assets.
Ladyboys are the best!
Marriage is the most important financial decision of your life. Treat it as such
Yeah, don't do it! Save your self from the trouble it will bring you.
Hard pass on marriage! Human emotions are dangerous and unpredictable. One day you say I love you and the next day you want half.🤦🏻♂️
Pretty much!
Prenuptial agreements should be mandatory for all new marriages. No more years long courtroom battles between greedy divorce lawyers and clogged up court systems. I'd never marry without one.
of course at least your smart but you know NO WOMAN will accept that LMFAO!!!
Couldn’t agree more prenup security
Better yet, don't get married. After my divorce in 1987, I swore I would NEVER get married again, and I never did. I do have a lady in my life, she is a widow and we have been together for 32 years. She knew from day one I would never remarry.
@@Norm475True. I hear more and more people saying "marriage is getting obsolete"
@@sujesh4684It's not necessarily obsolete. Most young men are avoiding it like the plague because they've seen how the courts treat men. Honestly if the courts were fair to both men and women marriage would still be popular.
Not getting married is the best solution in this financial hell.
Amen
Facts!
The only reason I am married is because my fiancee is overseas and US immigration wants you to marry them to bring them here on a green card. So nerve racking
absolutely!!
*marrying wisely
It’s hard for couples to fight less when lawyers/judges encourage people to fight more so they can get paid.
This comment is so stupid. It’s like saying cops encourage mass shooters to commit these crimes so they can use their weapons, or firefighters encourage people to burn down places so they can have a job. Lawyers and judges don’t encourage people to divorce. It’s the fact this society is not loyal anymore to each other and social media has made it easier for people to ruin their marriages.
You would think that high attorney cost would discourage people from fighting. Yet, people voluntarily feed their attorneys more money to fight instead of compromising on a daily basis. There are enough divorces and money flowing around, I doubt lawyers and judges need to encourage more chaos.
@@PlaneMechEsqif they wanted to comprise they won't be getting a divorce 😂
@@PlaneMechEsq😂😂😂😂😂
Even better, send people to 'marriage counselors'. Just a recipe for people pointing fingers over who is right and wrong in my experience.
This is why GEN Z and Millennials don't want to get married early compared to prior generations.
They don’t want to get marry at all.
And they will probably be the generation with the highest STD rates.
I think financial security may play a bigger role in that. Because the laws and costs have been high for a while now. Bigger factor is probably the illusion of choice overload combined with grass is greener syndrome.
@@chiquita683not wanting to get legally married (ie give control of your relationship to the government) is not equivalent to sexual promiscuity.
It's not the reason! And divorce is not certain. If people work at their marriage and men learn accountability and to stop having affairs at significant rates. Then marriages will work.
Divorce ruins lives and finances. It’s truly a horrible thing in our society.
which is why it is expensive so people would reconsider and reconsider seriously before making such decision. it is like the weapons of last resort, like chopping off your legs vs losing it to infection. you would want to try everything else before you chop it off.
Divorce is still better and cheaper than falsely accusing men 😂 and if you benefit from it like most women, the man pays for everything. So it's cheap on your end and you can't refuse a divorce as a man.
@@RealGrandFail did you miss the part of the video where they said on average, divorced men see a 25% rise in finances compared to women that experience a 25% dip? Where on earth did you get the idea that women don't pay for their divorce? And you are absolutely WRONG thinking men are unable to refuse a divorce. In fact, one of the biggest reasons behind how difficult it is for a woman to initiate a divorce is cuz the man does NOT have to agree to it! Thousands of women are forced to stay in abusive relationships specifically because the husband refuses to agree to a divorce. You gotta stop getting legal advice from Andrew Tate
@@lolalalia4119 you don’t need a reason or permission to get divorced in a no fault state.
@@RealGrandFail only true if man actually has more than the woman in terms of income and assets. it aint always true nowadays, some men are serious bum and losers, they spend more time in prison than with the kids out of wedlock and to support their unwed mothers. then again, those mothers are also fcking stupid for even getting together with such men
I divorced at 62. My retirement is in the pooper. Pension cut in half, paid off house is gone. I've been frugal all my life, and for what? Marriage is great when it's working, it's when it's not working where all the real problems come.
Oh Chile..I am so sorry, that is way worse. I empathize, but like truly . But did the money go to the greedy ass lawyers .
Damn
I'm Really sorry to hear man. Hope things improve for you a bit soon.
It crazy how they didn’t talk about how it effects men how men losses financially in American most of the time in this video.
@@Djreactions831 With this platform's Banned Word List being over ten thousand, this comment section is no longer the place to warn men. The youtube comment section red-pilled me in 2009 and I'm forever grateful. The only way to warn men now is via alt-tech.
@@real_exodus you have the sauce?
These days they shouldn't even grant marriage licenses unless there is a section with regards to a prenuptial agreement and/or divorce. But we all know the divorce industry will fight tooth and nail against that.
Can’t believe this isn’t a thing
Census: People aren't getting married as often
CNBC: Let's ramp up those numbers
Of course, Ms. Douglas, says it’s not cheaper to keep her. She thrives off of failed marriages.
I caught that too.....
My ex revealed her real character 2 years into the marriage. I was able to slide out of the marriage with only have pay child support for my son that I see weekly 3 days a week. I was young with no assets she could steal from me. A year after I divorced her my income increase 20 percent and this year has increased 63 percent from money I was making while married. I was able to reinvent myself and build a stable career that has a bright outlook. Got a new younger girlfriend looks better than my ex and more fit that I advised I’m never going to marry due to the biased family court system and the headache called divorce court.
Mine henpecked her new bf against me. And made it difficult to see the chile. because i was supposedly toxic to her. which she is allowed to have her opinion. she tried to erase me from my boy's life. we battled it out . my income ain't as it was before the whole debacle but i have plans.
What about when your new girlfriend actually does want to get married? Will you be okay with letting her go?
Red pill vitamins makes more sense than marriage 😂
Ah marriage, the leading cause of divorce…
LOL!!!!
The perks of marriage make a really small list with all this in mind.
there is no perks in a modern marriage, not for a man anyways
Never has been. Keep the government out your business has much as you can.
Marriage is tradition, and traditions are dead...
Marriage it establishes rights and obligations between couple, as well as between them and their children (if any), and between them and their in-laws.
We all are technically married because it's consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.
The nightmare stories I hear from friends probably helped me with my decision not to marry.
In my experience, as an accountant often seeing and dealing with the aftermath of divorce, I see a common element in the high cost of divorce. LAWYERS. Far too many lawyers by their nature and training view every situation as a legal fist fight. And lawyers are just not well enough versed enough in financial matters; especially tax. I have seen far too many cases where the parties and their accountants could have sorted out 80-90% of the issues in a few hours.
Exactly. When my ex and I got divorced it cost use $700. We used a divorce preparer who took care of writing up and filling all the paperwork. We just had to be adults and agree how to divide our assets up and how the kids were going to be taken care of.
@@gregstoddard8097 "Just had to be adults" being the problem. The person you marry is never the person you divorce.
Lawyers don’t care, once they are getting paid these outrageous and exorbitant fees, they are fine and dandy.
@@gregstoddard8097it’s easier said than done. The only way that worked is that both of you are sensible and mature individuals that know that it’s not worth fighting a divorce and it better working together for the betterment of the kids.
@@PresidentUSVI I think you missed the point. If you first see an accountant, then the lawyers are only needed to reduce the agreement to writing.
Divorce is the riskiest financial decision most people will make in their entire lives. The breadwinning spouse enters a legally binding promise to split half of almost everything they own on top of legal fees. There is no other financial decision that even comes close to creating such potential for financial catastrophe, and the risk exponentially increases if you divorce closer to retirement age.
Worst part is so no one is told it is a contract when they sign it
Correction, Marriage is the riskiest financial decision a man will make in his lifetime. There, I fixed it for ya. You're welcome😊
Marriage is meant to be a lifetime covenant. Divorce is wrong.
@@4.0gpa44 Yup, most muslim countries dont have divorce as a thing. Divorce wasn't a thing in Afghanistan until the US came in and destroyed their family units too with it.
@@brent4073 Such high qualities of life in those countries, imprisoning women.
Tyrese had a prenup and it still cost him over 1 million in lawyer fees and she still wants 20,000 a month . Dr Dre had one also and pays 300,000 a month
In these cases, they bought houses and cars on a whim, which was left out of the prenups, which happens a lot. Anything not covered is considered 50/50 in the eyes of the law.
Ooooo you big mad about millionaires doing millionaire things! 😂 are you part of The Tyrese or Dre financial team? Why you so upset?
To be fair I don't think a prenup is intended to have the other party receive nothing. Plus we have to view the costs relative to his wealth unfortunately and also contrast it against what would have been without the prenup. If he is paying out 10% of his wealth or income to her as opposed to 50%+. While the figures seem exorbitant to us it probably is an overall win for him.
@@9snaga Good point
@@lolalalia4119 nice deflection it’s to show the ineffectiveness as both wives still succeeded in being awarded resources even though the prenup exists
No wonder people dont want to get married
I'm happily married. However my husband was married previously, so wanted to see what this said. He took his time popping the question and I'm glad he did. I think people have the wrong idea about marriage. They think it's going to always be exciting and you're always going to be madly in love with your partner. Wrong... There are days when I want to smack my husband upside his head. There's days when it's hard and there are days when I don't know if I can do this. There's also days I'm head over heels on love. Any which way there's always a guy there willing to work on us. You have to give yourself and be willing to have that person give themselves to you. It's not 50-50. It's 100-100. Marriages don't just work. But at the end of the day, I couldn't live without my husband. I would be devastated. Marriage isn't for everyone but you have to take it seriously if you go for it.
Maam Jules , but does he feels like whopping your ass though lol! i mean just a little .
I hope sexism in Divorce is ended and we see all genders treated equally
Agree
Unfortunately it’s politics. One side sees victims among women and the men as the oppressors so we have many cases of where the women come out of the divorce with the home, cars, kids and half his money, plus child support.
I’m a man, but if I were a woman and all I had to do was say I want a divorce and I get half of everything that man ever earned, that’s a pretty tempting incentive. Based on that fact, it won’t change.
@@user-sj5ju4jb7t agree 💯
And I hope I win the powerball and that I can lose 20 pounds without changing my diet yet here we are
My divorce was supposed to be simple. My ex hired an attorney. I told her, “take what you want. You don’t need to hire an attorney. If you want the house, take it. Just sign the papers.” Her attorney was just getting free money from her. I never hired an attorney. I gladly paid the alimony and child support. I never paid a cent in attorney’s fees and I got to keep my house. The one who doesn’t want the divorce is the one who will drag it out longer than it needs to
if you didn't marry you would've kept a lot more.
I told her the same thing “ you don’t have to hire a lawyer . Just sign the paper “ . What did she do the opposite and still fighting till now .
Rookie move. If you were willing to give her everything, you should’ve cashed out your retirement and donated it to charity.
@@franko8572 let me guess you’re still married ?
@@leea3531 No. Never been married. My point is you can legally donate your saving, retirements etc. while you’re still married, and the other partner can’t say anything about it. It’s not a crime.
I learned a very long time ago to not get married just watching all the guys I knew in the military who was married, most all getting divorced in the span of my enlistment. Wisdom is watching and learning from other people experiences. True to form I never did get married and I’m beyond it. That’s a racket. Not getting married saves you everything gone over in this video.
Was it common for guys to come back from deployment (over ten months) and suddenly there’s a kid in the picture?
@@Michael_Livingstone You wouldn't believe how common it was and i used to be absolutely floored by it and just blown away. I was like 19-20 at the time and it was crazy. But i would watch all those guys and the stuff they go thru and been thru and took it all as a lesson in life and still do.
@@ardentdfender4116 I hope the guys who were deployed won’t be responsible for the kid that’s not theirs or that cheater. I have no words to express on here on how disgusted I am to know that there are folks who’d cheat on their spouse who’s deployed.
@@Michael_Livingstone I was single, so none of that was on me. I was just witness to what was happening to the other guys around me. Same as well where over a dozen women on a Tender ship at our same base who came back from deployment all pregnant. They weren't when they left on deployment, but they surely were when some of the dozen women returned to their families. For me, i was just spectator to it all. I learned many lessons in life from just watching all that happen around me and at the base i was at. Lessons in life i call it and it has surely shaped how i see a lot of things in society.
@@ardentdfender4116 Fair enough. And Thank You for your service :)
Vegas it cost $100 bucks to get married and over $100k to get divorced 😂
So what I gather from this video is to become a divorce attorney.
the bitcoin honcho detective is where the money is at. Plus you ain't going to hear the chatter from salty ass potential divorcees. You get the check , periodt , Punto !
On average, I've made 80k a year. Not great, but not bad. My 9 year marriage and divorce cost me well over 1 million dollars in fees, settlements, equity loss, etc. It pretty much destroyed the cushion I envisioned for retirement, especially in the loss of home equity. People have zero idea how impactful divorce is to one's life until they experience it.
It makes nonsense if you only make 80k yet divorce cost you 1mil
@@l.v.6384 You just don't get it. No matter what you make, unless its millions a year, divorce costs a disproportionate amount of money.
@@l.v.6384 He's talking about assets and wealth loss. Divorce disproportionately impacts the higher income earner which is almost always the husband/man...
@@weirdshibainuyeah, plus emotional toll.
And mostly women initiate divorce that's the crazy part 😢😮
Of course they do, cash and prizes baby
If you could go to the bank and get free money wouldn’t you do it too?
80%
Perhaps the men passive-aggressively create an untenable situation instead of initiating divorce, forcing the women to initiate it. Ever think of that?
Love the manosphere's popular assumption that women initiate divorces purely out of boredom, monkey branching and monetary gain. Because men are innocent angels and never make women's life more difficult in marriage :)
To all the young guys out there: This is why you don't get married... ever!
As someone who's been thru divorce and luckily came out still intact for the most part, I see very few benefits for getting remarried. Especially at An age where me and my potential spouse wouldn't even have the option to have more children.
You can get a prenup and it wouldn't matter. You could get married without a problem.
As a man you can have kids just about any age if you desire.. So you can always find someone else.
Not speaking from experience (yet anyway), but you don't need to get married to have kids. While your "troop" count likely diminishes with age, I imagine you still can have children but just not accident-prone like teenagers/twenties. Younger woman of course if you've got the resources and she sees you as the prize.
@@davidgladIf he’s religious then yes he does need to be married. Everybody’s not out here sinning to get they want
Why would you want more children in an economy like this?
You don’t wanna get divorced ? don’t get married !
or find a better spouse.
@HelloWorld-hb7yt you think that would stop a divorce?
GENIUS.
There should be a DivorceAI program that does all of this for you.
You do know they can program bias into them . the same way you can legit write a code that targets specific skin color into AI. and this ain't no conspiracy
Devorce is womens second income
More like reaching the Jack Pot....
10000%
Married for the benifits of divorce 🤷🏾♀️
The problem is even if you don't get married and live with somebody it becomes the same as being married in the eyes of the law 👰😱
Only in states that recognize common law marriages.
really? in all states?
@@johansjournalNope. Only like 14 states have common law marriage. If you live in a state like Utah, you're not married just because you lived together 5 years (mainly meant to keep polygamy from being legalized)
Even the states with CL marriage, it only works if you openly refer to the other person as your spouse.
suppose your lover is a foreigner so only a legal marriage could allow her/him to have a permanent residency right. this is only one of many other differences that with and without a marriage.
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You lost me when you started saying women end up worse than men and make less than men lol
I was about to say that !! main stream media + feminism is sky high !! Guys do no get married.. date .. do everything but not marry !! Its soo dumb with womens these days !! Only fools and idiots and poor people get married !!
Same
You mean because they usually have full custody of the kids. Great omission of that part.
@@justinmiller7398 Women usually get custody of children because the courts are notoriously biased towards women. Im watching 3 cases of biased courts happening in my personal life going on right now and have heard of countless cases before. Family court judges have the most discretion and are very rarely held to the ethics code. This is a very well known thing, especially in law
So fix it, rather than show blatant women hatred on youtube. Because your not helping society with those comments.
@@kasebuttram9542
It’s not the lawyers it’s the clients who are going insane spending thousands over the family couch
I just don’t understand why we have to pay to get a divorce
You do realize lawyers make EVERYTHING more expensive and difficult in life here in America......from running a small business to medical to large corporate.....etc....better lawyer-up is the American mentality.....
Hope for the best and plan for the worst. Discuss what happens if you were to split up before getting married, not because you hope to or plan to separate but because life happens.
All relationships end up in either a breakup or death. Plan ahead
Divorce punishes men with financial ruin and rewards women with financial resources without bring anything to table!
I'm the primary breadwinner and my husband is a lazy abusive obese bum who does gig jobs when he feels like it. I'll be the one at a loss and have a more complicated financial situation, yet I'm still going to divorce him, because you cannot put a price tag on mental peace, cutting your housework and food expenses by two-thirds, and not crying anymore.
Instead of paying 5k to his financial analyst he should pay 5k towards his debt principal and watch it go down over time
I think it might be a one time payment but I do see your line of reasoning if it is a recurring expense.
The cop was happily married until she started her own business.😂
Message!!!!
Keep her at home in the basement?
A successful man will usually say good, now I can provide for my wife and kids. A successful lady will usually say good, now I don't need my husband if I want to leave him.
@@jimv77 yup!
@@tipsandtricks6071 yes!
Hmm, could it be that he was abusive and she was trying to gain independence from him so that she's not out on the street upon divorce? 🤔
It's simple, NO PRENUP, NO MARRIAGE. Separate property marriage and it should only be a religious ceremony. I'm an Engineer and I make almost 7 times more than my girlfriend who's a preschool teacher. She lives with me and naturally, I pay all the bills, including our vacation and recreational expenses. For months now she's been breathing down my neck to pop the question and last week, I gave her my conditions.
Plus postup as well
Don’t get married! It’s bat sh!t crazy!
Sometimes women are vultures. Protect yourself at all costs.
@@charlibravo371most are if not all . Can u blame them though ?
you told her no marriage? Is she cool with it?
Your arrangement sounds like it is comfortable enough for her already.
I don't know why someone will have a marriage license without a pre/postup agreement. We need to change the family court laws or do away with it entirely.
If you don’t have any debt or assets or similar amounts when marrying, there’s no need for a pre-nup
No marriage, no divorce required. Simples
@@nousernamesarevalidpre-nups should be the default. In general people shouldn’t be getting married anymore. It’s just a practice to transfer wealth from one party to another and is primitive. You don’t need a piece of paper if you love someone.
yeah prenup is gonna protect you.. lol.. poor gullible sheep
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Why not make prenup mandatory?
Or just fix the law so the "default prenup" is the base case in statute, ie: in my name, in your name, in our name, all else being equal assign custody before child child support, and child support and alimony only to backfill to the 40% percentile cola adjusted per major metropolitan area. it's so simple... but you'll never get the women's rights people to ever agree to anything fair and equal when it comes to divorce.
Because that would defeat the purpose of divorce for many women
@@Nickgyw6That's the idea!
@@Nickgyw6what do you mean?
@@Wasabi9111they only in it for the bag at the end
the only benefit for marriage is $500k capital gains tax deduction for selling a house.
everything else is a risk, and not worth it.
Marriage should be 10 year contracts with option to renew another 10 years or divorce with pre-determined conditions.
*YOU BETTER PATENT THIS BEFORE I DO*
stay single & TRAVEL!!
Unpopular opinion: take steps to work on your relationship so divorce is never an option.
Lol tell that to a woman after you lost your job in the great financial crisis and you are underwater and heavily in debt, “babe, lets just work on this!”
Exactly work on your marriage
@@brent4073 maybe I’m optimistic but I’d think that’d be the perfect time to work on your marriage
That works if both parties are willing to put in effort. If one or both parties firmly believe their spouse is the sole problem... that marriage will never be a happy one.
Unfortunately, my mother stayed with my father knowing that he cheated on her throughout the whole marriage. (They've both passed away.) She foresake her happiness; with a man, who didn't take his vows seriously. She did this because she loved her children. Still, I feel heartbroken for my mother. ❤
It’s true men do earn more after a divorce and women earn less. It happened to me, after my divorce I had to work two jobs just to make sure she maintained her life style and she just completely stopped working. She earned less but what she did get was completely free.
Marriage is a horrible social contract in this current time across the cultures spectrum world wide
You mean divorce? My neighbor from Afghanistan said divorce wasnt even a thing in Afghanistan until the US came in and destroyed their family units too with it
That's the problem. Everyone is treating marriage as just a contract.
That is what caused this divorce epidemic. It's just a contract.
Let me sell you on the idea that marriage is much more than "just a contract." Give me 5 million, and I'll tell you all about it.
The cost of staying in an unhappy toxic marriage....Bruh.....
There’s a reason the saying is “Cheaper to keep her.”
Mainly child support. It almost cost me my freedom. But cost me my career & health. I don’t recommend it.
This is why you don’t invite state law into your relationship. Don’t get married!
Problem is state law still got involved. If you’re together for a set amount of time and live together they’ll say it’s a Common Law marriage and go after your finances if (when) it goes sour.
@@HumptyMcFly There are currently only 8 states that have common marriage laws so your statement is mostly false😉
@@ericl6386I believe it more than 8 states.
You do not have to believe anything but this is a fact just google it cost you less time then writing your comment . : There are currently eight states that recognize common law marriage: Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, South Carolina, Texas, and Utah. Each state has its own specific rules for recognizing common law marriages.
Laywers: thanks for the business, dumb people😂
I really hate how they brought up the raw wage gap, when part of the reason for it is glaringly apparent in this video. Marriage and divorce are crippling financially for men. Imagine being financially better off AFTER paying for child support and alimony when compared with being married. Yes, men's incomes grow after divorce because they are no longer shackled to someone who holds them down financially and emotionally (and the fact that we are often the ones who have to pay for alimony, that is another motivation for us to make more). We don't have any financial cushion to fall back on. It is all on us. While divorce sucks for everyone involved, we need to make more because we don't have any support. We can't just simply bail on whatever it is we are doing because we can marry a bread winner. We need to climb the ladder. That loneliness and that climb is hard so maybe leave the wage gap out of the convo, because women could definitely do it too if they wanted to, but they have a sociological out, and they take it.
Yeah I am not getting married. Screw all this.
Because everything is designed to extract as much money out of us as possible.
It's cheaper to keep her is the thing of the past. The new model is It's cheaper to rent one.
As someone who is happily divorced (due to DV), my suggestions would always be to make sure that your partner is truly the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and have children with (if you want any, that is). Don't rush into marriage. Date longer and communicate more. Are you both on the same wavelength when it comes to what roles you want in your relationship, how you want to raise your kids (religion, traditions, discipline), and especially finances. Talk about what commitment means to you. Live together for a while and use it as a trial run for marriage - are they lazy, unsanitary, demanding, abusive? And remember that prenups are great, but understand judges can and will throw them out if they deem them unfair.
why would you not want kids if you get married? you’re just roommates at that point. completely pointless marriage.
It doesn’t matter how long you’re with someone in a no fault state. They could just decide they don’t want to be married to you anymore. Especially if it’s financially beneficial to divorce you.
@@mattiaslp9645 it costs approximately $250k to raise 1 child from age 1 -18, and that was a figure pre 2020. It's understandable for couples to hesitate
@@mattiaslp9645 What's wrong with being roommate's? I definetly prefer that over divorce ANY day!
Who someone is today is not who they'll be in 10, 20, 30, 40 years down the line. You can do all your research today and it won't matter. You can't predict someone else's personal growth.
Pretty much every kid I knew growing up that had divorced parents turned out messed up in one way or another. Divorce wrecks children.
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As a man, divorce is devastating!!! Dont marry unless you are 100 percent that is the one forever. Dont marry takes the law out of the equation and make it even
I laughed out loud when I saw that the guy paid the most by far. Sounds about right. 70-80% of divorces are filled by the wife (depending on who you ask.) Coincidence??
Marriage is the only relationship in which you need a lawyer to get out of.
I"m in the don't get married camp. As a man, there's ZERO benefit.
What's most amazing is these guys work so much that they never see the divorce coming.
For those already married, here are some cheaper alternatives:
1. Dates
2. Vacations
3. Marriage counseling
4. Keep your mouth shut
5. Don’t insist on being right
6. Practice saying “Sorry” (doesn’t cost a penny and solves most problems)
7. Don’t cheat / sleep around
8. Ask God for help
This
Or just don’t get married. Doesn’t sound like it’s worth it
Skip 8. If God wants you divorced, it's His plan.
@@guardianvalor962 why would god want a divorce for anyone
@@HIGHRISE_481
God works in mysterious ways. It's not right to challenge his authority. Duh
Some men get divorce and remarried many times. They don't learn from their mistakes.
Societies thrive on stable relationships, functional marriages and families are amongst the cornerstones of successful societies.
Law Firms can and will successfully find out ways to get prenuptial and postnuptial agreement thrown out or disregarded by the judge. So just don’t bother getting married at all.
Surprised they left that out.
@@user-sj5ju4jb7t I'm not.
The single life is serving me well…….
Me too, lol!
I keep my divorce costs down by never getting married.
Child support is expensive too.
@@MalevolentBite True but there are laws and specific calculations around that at least. Divorce can be an endless money pit with no limits
@NightRidah777 I guess but most of the time the child will be posion against you and no amount of money or time can fix that. I don't have kids but I seen my brother go through by divorce and child support. His older son tried to fight him at an cookout.
@@MalevolentBite The same risk applies in divorce. Depends on the other partner. The only argument I'll say makes sense is a kid is better in a 2 parent household
@NightRidah777 definitely. I personally say. Don't get married if you don't want kids but if you got kids it's just better to get married for the family. Look at the suburbs and then look at the urban community. One tends to get married and other doesn't. I don't believe in marriage but it's better for families. If you don't want a family then marriage makes no sense.
Another reason why it's not worth getting married.
"So how can Americans reduce their costs?"
You notice how the lawyer mentions things like "fight less" or "agree more." She didn't say the keywords: don't get married.
Job security bro.
Top 5 countries 20% or less divorce rate, Ireland, Mexico, Colombia, India, and Vietnam. They range from 12 to 18%, different reasons. But mostly due to culture, government laws, and welfare.
In America its 60% , not including the many who stay married for various reasons..
How do we bring the numbers down to more comparable of those countries you mentioned?
Colombia has a high single motherhood rate.
@@nomadicmariner that's a whole different topic. A woman can gave a baby and not marry. Dont get off topic.
@@julm7744 no idea. I doubt it though. Saying that, the Philippines and Ireland were pretty much last two countries to ban abortions til a few years ago.
@@MrHammer2088 Vietnam is low to culture, family, very feminine country. And no welfare. India is culture and high arranged marriages. Ironically arranged marriages in many places have a lower divorce rate than the individual choosing. Mexico and Colombia are no welfare, family and religion.
I was a child in the 80s usa. You know you had to go to marriage counseling for 1 year, and pretty much prove adultry ot DV. Not say it, prove it. Was pretty much region who put no fault divorce and made it easy.
I work overseas for last 15 years, all over globally. Married a viet in 2020. Worlds of difference vs usa.
of course they brought the Wage gap
a proven lie
There is no greater love of my life than my freedom to NEVER have married when a woman wanted to. Besides, like the saying goes, why sign a government contract with a woman when she benefits greatly & financially from breaking said contract.
And when society and main stream media keep perpetuating this myth that the majority of women in this country make their own money today, they neglect to mention that only 20% of women in this country make over 45K on their own WITHOUT alimony, child support, inheritance, welfare or lawsuit/insurance settlement. As someone who use to work for the IRS, the vast majority of women today are incredibly low wage earners.
😢Watching this while I'm stalling getting a divorce when she said I should get one because I'm the one who married her and now I'm holding her back.😢
I met an older man while he was delivering my food via Uber Eats. He told me he had retired after working his whole career at a university. He got divorced and his wife took most of what he had. He was delivery food to earn money.
Marriage is all risk, and no reward, especially for men.
Change my mind.
With more manchildren going around and more women becoming primary breadwinners, it's shifting towards the middle for both sexes.
Be like elon … don’t marry
Looking at all the cost and difficulty it Reminds me of the movie ' wedding crashers' somehow
Divorce economy is thriving which is the sad part with the high numbers
I'm single and i have always wondered how people who claim to love each other before marriage, get married and within one or two years begin to fight for a divorce.
I'm trying to understand but i still don't. Is so called "love" a lie?
Its one of two things, one partner goes into the marriage thinking of taking full advantage of the other wanting to screw the other one over for everything that they can take them for, the other is they both are going into it with blinders on thinking that marriage fixes everything.
@@Donkeyearsa I see but that can't justify the divorce. Why can't couples settle down their differences ?
If you really love each other, you'll not divorce despite the situations...
Just do a commitment ceremony instead of legal marriage?
Do a general partner agreement with your spiritual spouse.
Only lawyers win in a divorce.
Keep money separate, and share consciously. Not automatically ❤
We have a matriarchal system in the country that doesn't cosign on such..
A man can easily adapt to such tho
If you don't know your state laws, you can end up in even worse shape - "common law marriage" with no pre-nup! All entitlement with no love.
This won't work. If you have any ceremony, in the eyes of the law depending on which state you live in, that's "getting married"
With a 7 fig stock portfolio, I ain’t never ever getting married lol
Please stop with this wage gap BS.
they don’t mention the “gender of soldiers who die in the line or duty gap”.
I think the easiest way of avoiding divorce is to not get married. Maybe we should outlaw marriage to avoid all of this? I can't even tell you how many people I know who have been absolutely destroyed financially and emotionally from a divorce. And with a divorce rate kissing 60%, what is the point?
This is why they say it's cheaper to keep her... but you will die unhappy 😢
What a trade off!!😫
I'm sorry but it doesn't work like that. We have no fault divorce in the United States. This means if she wants to leave she can divorce you even if you don't want to divorce her.
@@tipsandtricks6071
I agree with you but that's not the majority of divorces - if a majority of men can opt for such like women then the divorce rate would be alot higher..
A majority of men are stuck in unhealthy marriages because of what I stated
The part about women's lifestyle becoming worse versus men's becoming better was absolute fiction. If the assets are split evenly, and the man is paying alimony and child support (in most cases), how is it remotely possible for his lifestyle to improve?
The piece conveniently omitted two very important statistics:
1) Which side files for divorce more often.
2) How the marriage rate is declining as a result over time.
3) which side suffers more violence.
4) does marriage equate to better relationships
5) what is the main reason for divorce
6) outlook from children of divorced parents
They also tried to push the 82cents on the dollar narrative that women get paid less without discussing the fact that men and women choose to enter different fields with drastically different pay.