Why Do You Want a Romantic Relationship? Interview with Dr. Kris Marsh

Hey Single Roses! I sat down with Sociologist Dr. Kris Marsh, author of The Love Jones Cohort: Single and Living Alone in the Black Middle Class. Our conversation centered around destigmatizing singleness in the Black community so that we don't settle for toxic relationships that disturb our peace. Dr. Marsh encourages us to ask ourselves, "Why do you want to be in a romantic relationship?" This thought exercise helps us to determine if we genuinely want a romantic partner or if we are yielding to the pressure to partner in a society that caters to marriage and systematically discriminates against single people. We discussed the barriers to partnership for Black Women and how structural forces (racism) constrain our personal choices when it comes to choosing a suitable partner. Finally, Dr. Marsh advises us on how we can build fulfilling lives as single women by leveraging our non-romantic relationships. There were so many gems in this interview and I really hope you take something valuable away from the conversation!
Please go purchase The Love Jones Cohort: Single and Living Alone in the Black Middle Class on Amazon! It is a great read!

[@chadguindon6909]

Here is why people want romantic partnership. They are all selfish, narcissistic and egotistical reasons.
1. Someone to complete them.
2. Someone to grow old with.
3. Sexual satisfaction.
4. Financial security.
5. Someone to cook and clean for them.
6. Someone to take them out to dinner and buy them gifts.
7. Companionship on holidays and events.
8. Romantic/unconditional love.
At 40, I am single/unmarried by choice, over the moon and I have zero regrets.

[@adriennel8498]

Awesome conversation! I’m one of the Black women that Dr. Marsh spoke of… I guess I didn’t realize the structure effected my decision making to an extent. Can’t wait to pick up the book! I’m a loner naturally and really prefer my own company so being single is easy for me, suppose I’m lucky in that regard. People may say I’ll die alone but it’s like that’s the plan lol I already live alone and don’t want to be around y’all🤷🏾‍♀️

[@ibuymyownroses]

Yes! I enjoy living alone too! Thank you for listening 🩷

[@THEBLACKSLEEPINGBEAUTY]

I identify as asexual aromantic with MAYBE some demisexual tendencies. I also identify as lesbian but in all honesty, I don't think I can see myself being with a woman. I think at this point I'd rather just be by myself because I'm not a people person anyways🤷 I feel like I'm not missing anything. I just want friends and that's hard to find, I've always felt alone even if I did have someone to talk to. And it's hard finding other women that are not MALE CENTERED/MALE IDENTIFIED. I'm starting to think that the whole relationship stuff is just pointless 🤷

[@teeahtate]

If a women does not want to marry a man who makes less than her and the men on her economic level don't want her, being single happens. There a lot of single and celibate women who live this way for 30 or more years. It is not ideal, but it happens. I am happy this book was written. Dr. Marsh reminds me of Dr. Debi Thomas.

[@Thekameriegibson]

Glad TH-cam recommended your video ❤

[@ibuymyownroses]

Me too! Glad you’re here 🫶🏾

[@jjamerican93]

Thank you for this video! I feel like it is still so taboo to hear Black women talk about the benefits of being single, so this conversation is a breath of fresh air for me. 😊

[@ibuymyownroses]

Thanks for watching ❤️

[@ShawnaJones80]

I really enjoyed this.

[@ibuymyownroses]

I’m so glad! Thanks for watching ❤

[@Kcoupn]

Great interview!

[@ibuymyownroses]

Thanks for listening 💕

[@oneofone7108]

Why do I? Because I enjoy sex and being able to express myself sexually and don’t want to have random encounters

[@ibuymyownroses]

Understandable!

[@evaphillips2102]

This ❤