There is only one person in this world who is allowed to interrupt me when I am in hyperfocus, and that is my cat. Because let's be honest, she's my primary special interest, i love her, and she is an innocent little bean.
I totally feel this way. I am usually am put in multi level , social multi tasking job. I have made an internal flow chart of response. In some cases it is just a non energy response that people seemore than happy with , but other days with unscheduled problem after problem ... I am told I get rude and my "smiley face " is only what is important. I have tried for years to try and get a non " face of the company" job... autistic masking at its best/worst
Literally!!!!!! Same!!!!!!! Unless I have a hyperfixation on the theme of the drawing, like a fandom or characters. Then I'm really excited to finish that drawing. When I don't finish that drawing where I'm hyperfixated on the characters, I end up thinking about the unfinished drawing the whole time I'm not drawing.
I am autistic, and I think I might be also ADHD, 'cause my special interests keep changing. I just spent almost a week, 9 to 12 hours a day, creating a whole new ttrpg combat system, based on my favorite video game. I build minis in clay, I wrote a guide, I spent hundreds of euros in battle maps and crafting furnitures, hours balancing the fun and difficulty of the gameplay of each type of character, and I'm very proud of what I've done. I proposed to a few of my friends to come test it one day. And I woke up a few days ago, and I'm so bored of it, I can't work on it anymore, and I don't know what to do. I feel I've exhausted myself, I messed up my sleep schedule, I lost my routines, I ate sugar for days, because I didn't want to leave my work to buy groceries... Monotropism is nice, but I can't handle it, I always end up like a mess. And I'm currently unemployed, but when I am, you can imagine the effects on my job ! I feel like sisyphus, and my rock just dropped to the bottom of the mountain.
I was struggling with this too, being completely consumed and in love with a thing, only to wake up with the desire gone without cause. Then a friend made a great point! It’s not always WHAT you are into that is the most important, but THAT you are interested. Some people never get to feel that surge or joy and exhilaration from a special interest. Although the interest may change in subject, being interested and getting joy from engaging will always be ours to experience. Go gently with yourself until the next interest arises. I love you Human!
I have this. I will have been deep diving into a special interest and then something maybe related to or not to the original interest and then need to deep dive into that one for an extended period of time. People do get put off by my drive to focus on them during “conversion “ meaning I excitedly talk your ear off if you don’t find away to disengage from it. Unfortunately people can be pretty horrible about it. One of my ex’s said “why can’t you tell when people don’t want to talk to you anymore?” there was some other awful stuff said that was said in a nasty manner. It still hurts. I get people who don’t understand when I say that things can wait while my boys finish game levels or a group match game like you have in Halo. I understand why it is important to allow them to finish but catch them before they start another one. Games have a flow and breaking that focus can be so frustrating especially when it is going well.
@@Kageoni187 that's a great analogy ! And I'm glad I could find someone who is always wiling to listen to my monologues, and ask questions even when they're not too interested. It means the world to me.
@@ashleyskinner1467 Thank you, you're a sweetheart. Indeed, I keep all of my previous interests close to my heart. They're my experiences, they're part of what I am. You explain things so well. That's why I love listening to autistic people, you speak exhaustively. Have a nice day, you deserve it.
While watching the video, I suddenly thought about a situation at work... and now I have to rewind the video because my brain just did not register anything while my mind was somewhere else. And what part of the video was it? Well about that most people can do many things at the same time. How fitting!
I love your videos 🥰 When I'm focused on doing something, we say I'm on a mission. I knit, and an adult garment isn't something that can be made in one day. So when I'm on a mission with a jumper, it's all I want to do until it's finished. It *really* bugs me when I have to stop for anything sometimes. When I'm writing I get so involved in the story that I'm there and the transition back to real life is very unsettling. And yes, I can easily miss meals and loo breaks too.
Man, I can't count tbe number of times I've stayed at work until 6:30+PM to get something done. I was diagnosed this past April, and I'm slowly realizing that my behaviors were VERY autistic lol. I'm glad for videos like this that are so informative 🙂
Thank you for this! It’s taken me some time (after my diagnosis at 41) and might for you too - but you’ll get there and just know there’s lots of other people like you. So you’re not alone on it which helped me a lot too
@@ChrisandDebby Right so i just read this and you've made me all teary you lovely peeps. Yay emotional dis-regulation . AutyHD 4 eva (which is, I suppose, what I have to come to terms with). Peace and happiness to you both :)
This is why I don't understand why I wasn't diagnosed as a kid. "Wheres Timmy?" "Oh he's been upstairs constructing a castle with his Legos for 6 hours straight." I remember one time as a child when it was getting dark and I realized I hadn't ate all day. I was really skinny as a kid. Now I have meal times in with my routine. I had a feeling I was ADHD for awhile but never autism until maybe a year or two ago. I do have some of the traits. I becoming very much interested in things for a period of time. It varies. Currently I'm back on plants/gardening, learning to look new things/diet. Over the years I'd get attached to things. Cars, wood working, computers/tech, gaming, photography. A lot of these have stuck but don't consume me. That seems to rotate every few months. I got really into clothes/makeup for a bit and being more open about gender fluidity. That also caused a lot of confusion on who I was until I stopped trying to label and fit into things and just let things be when they wanted to be. I'm really particular about foods. I have to have milk with tea and I have tea biscuits with my tea in afternoon and sometimes as a late snack. I have to have my morning eggs and toast. Lunch and dinner are open to whatever though. I don't like ankle socks that go down too far, they have to be above the boney part of the foot. Shirts can't fit too tight. It's been interesting learning all these things about myself and why I do them.
Lego was the bomb. I used to sit on the couch reading as a little kid and people would apparently call my name in the same room and I just didn't hear them/ register.
Your interests over time sound really fun and intriguing, so I can see why you would get absorbed - when I was teaching and we used legos, I almost had as hard a time stopping as the kids 😂 I also have ADHD too so sometimes it’s tricky to see where autism stops and adhd begins but it’s a struggle sometimes. I hear you also on wondering now how so much got missed when I was a kid. Here’s to hoping things improve for the next generation with better understanding!
Oh this! The first paragraph you wrote - now that i think about it, i used to, for 3-4 hours at a time, get totally absorbed in drawing, this as a 7-12 yr old, and noone questioned it. When i was playing with friends i would get fixed on one task and they would get bored and move on and play with my sister, while i had to finish what we had started doing. I remember when I was about maybe 7 or 8, I decided i wanted to put loan cards into all our books just like at the library (in the old days). My sweet sister joined in the fun for a good period but i ended up finishing most of it for the 1500 or so picture books we had lolol.( I know we had that many because I counted them one day 😅)
@@lightawake As a kid, the library was my sanctuary. It was quiet, the lighting wasn't super bright and it felt cozy. Watching librarians stamp cards and put them in pockets looked like so much fun! When they added a barcode scanner I was ready to work there full time. 😂
You have a hilarious way of explaining it, but you are absolutely correct. There is nothing more annoying than being interrupted when I am doing something. My brain instantly goes into what I call "Go the fuck away" mode, and I do whatever is necessary to make my level of annoyance perfectly clear to the person that has so rudely interrupted me.
The way you articulate things feels like they're realized thoughts I've had myself before. I'm torn on if/when to tell my employers I'm autistic. The usual reply is, "What does that mean?" And I find myself tasked with the impossible mission of conveying the relevant information without overloading them. The details matter to me, in almost every aspect of my life, and I just want to reply with, "How much time have you got?" I've not received a gormal diagnosis, but my insurance kicks in in a couple of months at my new job and I'll be looking to get it done. My youngest son appears to be on the spectrum as well. Definitely on the "high functioning" side, as he can socialize okay, but there's so many little tells. The big one for me is that he'll spend hours playing with a piece of race track from one of his toy car kits. Not the cars, but the piece of track. He'll pace up and down the living room making grunting noises, spinning and twirling it in his hands. I used to do the same kind of play with coathangers until I was well into my teens, I'd still go and do it because it was one of my favorite activities. It stimulated the visual side of my brain and let me imagine any of a number of scenarios. I'm rambling... Thanks for the video, I'm having a blast browsing your channel!
I'm still on a journey of trying to figure out whether I'm autistic or not, but this entire video resonated so hard for me. I think the only part that *didn't* resonate with me was the "needing more time to think of what I'm going to say" or "needing to focus on lots of different things during a conversation." But everything else, 100% spot-on. Thank you so much for this!
When I was a teenager once I was reading in the kitchen, when my father came and started to make popcorn in a big pan in the stove. At some point he decided to go do something else, and asked me to call him when the popcorn was starting to get ready (it should be easy to notice, because the popping noise is fast at the beginning, and then it starts to slow down until it stops). I don't remember whether I acknowledged him or not. I might have grunted something in response, and he left. I continued reading. At some point my reading was disturbed by him angrily screaming at me. Apparently, the popcorn had gotten ready and started to burn, and the whole kitchen was covered by a thick smoke, and I was still concentrated on my reading, completely unaware of the smoke. (There was no fire, we didn't have a fire alarm, and the popcorn was burning inside the pan). I didn't smell nor see the smoke, and I didn't notice the noises of the popcorn popping nor the popping ending. He was not understanding at all. It's funny to think of it now, 30 years later. Both my father and I are autistic, though undiagnosed. Maybe if we knew we were both autistic we would have been more understanding to each other. He passed away years ago, undiagnosed. I understand him much better now, with all the knowledge about autism I have acquired.
This puts it into words so perfectly. Your video really explains how the real life expression of our autistic traits are sometimes crippling for the same reason that they can be an amazing gift.
My biggest challenge is being a single mother to two feisty terriers. They definitely can break my concentration and throw me off track. Sometimes I need to get off track with a good long walk but I don’t like it when I’m in the zone. On weekends, I’ll drop them off at doggy daycare when I need a day of uninterrupted time. They have fun playing and I have fun staying focused.
Your buddies sound awesome - I can see the challenges but I’m guessing they don’t give up too easily when they need to get out! And good for you to find a good routine when you need some time for you 😊 Thanks for sharing this!
OMG! My whole life, I've thought I've had a bad memory because I'd literally forget very basic things like eating or going to the bathroom. I had to learn to remind myself to do these things, and even then it's just so hard to remember! I guess I have monotropism though. Lightbulbs are exploding and fireworks are going off in my head hearing this. Thanks! X)
This is 100% how my brain works. Thanks. I feel better about not being able to stop what I'm doing. I have ADHD too though so I don't have one specific special interest unless web comics/manga count. I think anime used to be it but I watched all of the major shows and I hate to rewatch them, I only loop songs on repeat. That's what I enjoy and do the most. Daydreaming too, but I don't really count that as a hobby as much as a maladaptive coping mechanism. I feel so burnt out if I don't escape into some mental story. It helps me process stuff too. If only I could actually write these stories down, but nope, they stay in my brain. The thing is that I really don't want to share them anyway because it's personal.
Yey! I’m teaching struggling students how to read. And yes it is my special interest (and all things books and reading related). And because of this I am known in my city as someone who can help in the toughest situations. I love my job and I have a very decent living because of it.
Great explanation!❤ My AuDHD allowed me to get a very good masters degree because my hyperfocus and autodidactic learning let me learn so much stuff in short time. Know I am a freelancer doing copywriting and webdesigns. I learned all about this and marketing and a lot more in a short amount of time all by myself. I can't even imagine don't be able to do that. I am in hyperfocus most of the time when I am working for my customers. I just have to do everything for not being interrupted. But that's not hard. I live alone with my dog, wear my noise cancelling headphones, phone is always mute and if someone rings the doorbell I just ignore that. I don't have phone calls or meetings, I only communicate with interested people and customers via e-mail.
Oh yes! In our schools we have several autistic teachers. We make sure to provide them with a lot of notice before anyone pops in. One of our best teachers is autistic and he always over thinks and gets worried. After he came to talk to us about it, we started including him in mentoring and teacher observations and it’s made all the difference. We also try and place our autistic teachers in classrooms that are in quieter areas with less foot traffic. Some of our teachers need quite a bit of accommodations, but when provided, the quality of their work and level of preparation is phenomenal! They also connect on a deeper more meaningful level with our autistic kiddos. I hope you are getting the accommodations you need!
Great info and perspective that validates autistic point of view! Love your analogies, personal examples and stories - they really make your brand - please include more :)
@@ChrisandDebby thank you! I'm finding it's your videos I share when I'm wanting to introduce people to my autism in a way that won't freak us both out:) it's so personal, funny, upbeat and clear.
Knee pits. I've never heard that before. I love it. Bloody hell does that mean I can have elbow pits as well? I am now literally going around my body looking for new pits. Toe pits? Ooh ear pits, you know right behind your ear lobes... 😆
Enjoyed the video and the coverage of monotropism. Very relatable. But not sure we should be lauding Edison considering he took advantage of the probably true neurodivergent Tesla.
Spent a week staying up until 6am gathering all of my music as lossless files for my ipod, ipod died cause it had a hard drive and it got corrupted, lost everything, immediately spent another 2 weeks pretty much not sleeping gathering that music back and changing the metadata on each file so it had the artist, album, release date, album cover, etc so i could have them sort and display properly and it was entirely worth it
This is probably the Number 1 difference between my husband (ADHD - Polytropic for sure) and me (Autistic - Monotropic) - conversations bounce around faster than I can keep up and I constantly circle back to the thing I'm still focused on. Or, he has a great idea and wants to tell me about it while I'm "in the zone" on a work project and, yes, I want to karate chop him in the neck multiple times LOL. (Best quote of the day for sure!)
I can't believe there's a name for that! I've noticed it happens to me all the time at work. Sometimes, if there are multiple ways to do a task, I'll focus on one method in particular, even if it's not the most ideal. That leads to people telling me, "Why don't you do it like this instead?" That does a pretty good job of making me feel stupid. Also, when I'm working, I just want to focus on the task at hand and nothing else. Co-workers talking loudly around me are distractions to me and are often very annoying. I'm usually a pretty efficient worker, but I get the impression that my of thinking puts other people off. It can be very frustrating and depressing sometimes...
In the house I grew up in we would have 3 or 4 conversations going at one time, plus a couple of sub conversations. The ability to split my focus, was beaten in to me. Now I get bored if I only have one thing going. People will be upset, insulted, whatever, if I don't stop what I am doing and pretend to focus only on them. Narcissistic, arrogant, bothersome. I never talk to them about what I'm interested in, because they don't even pretend to be interested and why give them amo to use against me.
Spot on!!! I worked at a small nonprofit, and people interrupting my focus, especially while working on budgets and financial reports, was infuriating! I requested that people not say anything to me when passing my desk, so they would wave instead. 🤯 I finally shut the door and put up a sign that I needed time to prepare for chats/meetings. My boss was SO angry. I was deemed rude and antisocial simply because I tried to meet my needs while accommodating everyone else, too. She barged into my office and said that sign didn't apply to her and she could interrupt me whenever she pleased. It was mostly for personal/non-work related matters, yet at evaluation time she called my time management into question. I couldn't take it anymore. Still looking for a job years later, while recovering from autistic burnout.
I'm just going to say it, we need more of the "outtakes/bloopers" - Fantastic new video. I myself find that I have so many interests, and I struggle with which one to focus on, so lately it's been understanding my Neurodivergence better- and it seems I am all over the map there too... It's been quite a wild ride. Thank you both, Chris and Debby, for being such amazing guides through this late diagnosing. You're helping me so much and I know you are helping others too and that means the world to me as that is my hope too.
I have a lot of bloopers that don’t make it onto the video. TH-cam only gives me 20 seconds at the end. I wonder if I should just make videos every once in a while of the bloopers. Some of them are really stupid, but they crack Debby up. And I’m absolutely thrilled you are enjoying the content. I appreciate the kind words.
I relate to this soo much. I was filming a video for my TH-cam channel and my partner interrupted me insisting we have lunch and I just totally lost my cool. Packed up all my gear, threw away my half finished project and haven’t filmed since 😂 dramatic much, not to me! The idea and passion for the project are dead, I couldn’t possibly pick it up half finished.
My special interest switches between my 2 favorite tv shows, rewatching/catching up on other series that are still running, knitting/crocheting (I am currently trying to crochet a huge granny square blanket that now comes from the bottom of my feet to around my knees, it’s growing!!!!), photography, scrapbooking, music (my og true passion that led to my career), reading (though I want to read so many at once that I’m between 4-6 and don’t touch any of them for months but when I do I can’t put them down), dancing and attempting to learn pole dancing when I have the money, hiking, and going on spontaneous adventures with my friends.
I do struggle with silence, I completely hate it, but I need silence when I read, which may be part of why I struggle with reading but can listen to a podcast about true crime, weather, or cults all day long. Oh! Podcasts are another special interest of mine! But I’m pretty sure I’m AuDHD. I’ll have a specific interest for anywhere between a few days to months and then I need a different specific interest to deep dive on.
Thank you for posting this, it really helped understand myself better. I often get into so much trouble with this, so many misunderstandings. I recently got banned from my best friends house (they still live with their parents) because I didn't respond to their mother who apparently yelled across the house for me multiple times, but because I was in the zone doing something else I didn't hear her. Mother assumed I was purposefully being rude by not replying and when I told them I didn't hear them because I was caught up doing something else they didn't believe me/understand and I was banned from their home. I really wish people would start being more open and understanding, this kind of thing happens to me all the time and I'm so tired of being misunderstood :(
I know what you mean. The impact of others not understanding our neurology hits us a lot and sometimes it hits us pretty hard. It’s extremely frustrating and it honestly isn’t fair. Everything always seems to fall on us - it’s our responsibility to conform. This is why I started this channel. We shouldn’t be punished or ostracized as often as we are. Maybe you could talk to your best friend and have them show this video to mom?? I hope it gets solved for you.
The interesting thing is that this is why I stopped my ADHD meds. They made me focus like this... like I was out of control with my focus. But it would totally mute my ability to perceive my hunger and other bodily issues so I'd end up really dizzy and irritable and think there was no reason which was distressing, which made me more freaked out because now I'm focusing intensely on why I feel weird and then people are trying to talk to me and it makes me want to freak out! I realized later I should just eat, that helped a moderate amount but if I don't need to access that level of focus (ie work got easier since I got a less crazy/strict boss), I see no reason to put myself and my wife through that any more. Note, this wasn't even stimulants, it was Welbutrin/Bupropion. The stims made me feel physically sick almost 24/7.
The ADHD and autism combination can be challenging at times for sure (and I know exactly what you’re talking about) 😅 but when I’m “on” and on the zone, I also finish a lot more than anyone else in less time. Do you find this too?
@@ChrisandDebby I find this to be true. I am sort of "all or nothing" as far as productivity as well. My "all" is SO productive that I have a hard time determining if I am getting a normal about of stuff done. To me it feels like I am getting nothing accomplished!
Then the autism kicks back in and I get anxious 😰 and realize that I have been bouncing back and forth between different things..... and haven't gotten anything accomplished LoL
ok, great video minus the 49 stock footage inserts. maybe i blinked and missed one for the big 50. i probably shouldnt count the 2 cool vintage train clips because i like trains. and the eggs in the basket works because theres an element of humor there. is my reaction to mundane stock clips a demonstration of monotropism? because im in flow state watching you and paying close attention to your words and then WHAM - a stock clip breaks my focus. i miss what you are saying as the banality of the clip sinks in and i also cant remember what you said before the clip. is that the result of the brain jolt? i appreciate the accomodation you made for us by taking out the background music. any chance you could cut out the predicatble, humorless stock videos? let your natural humor shine.
Working on adjusting some of this down the road (but will be a little while because we finished some of the upcoming videos quite a while ago) - but we use the clips to illustrate the concepts sometimes for those who like visual representations of what we are discussing. Also helps for spots where we do weird things with our face or need to cut things or stuff like that, but keeping this in mind for the future but still haven’t figured out a perfect set up just yet. On a side note - much further down the line, we are considering maybe a podcast. Do you feel like that could be a good alternative setup too? (I personally rarely listen to podcasts but a few other people asked about it and it seems like it would lend itself well to the style you’re talking about.) Thanks for being here!
@@ChrisandDebby thanks for responding. I watch a boat load of autustic content and I don't make it a habit to suggest changes, but you two are something extraordinary. I don't have any credentials to back up my expertise on your editing choices other than being a 60 year old autist artist. I can say for certain that you have started off with a bang and your potential is limitless. guard your energy. do what brings you maximum joy. drop everything else. authenticity and quirky humor will go over well with ND's if you can keep the sensory experience within the window of tolerance. I bet that room in Edinburgh that you love so much is sensory friendly. If you can borrow that aesthetic in your videos for your ND audience, you will be appreciated beyond words.
Thanks for all your nice words and faith in what we are doing!! Just wanted to let you know we got this and are working on some ideas with our editor - already finished videos won’t get adjusted but as we move forward, we’ll be working on some modifications to reduce some of the stock footage. Will look forward to hearing your thoughts on those later!! Thanks again for being here and also providing more context and clarification. We’re always up for making our work better and better 😊
sewing or painting often ends up like this for me, i think telling the assesor about the time i made 3 new shirts in one day over the course of 16 hours and almost wet myself because i was so focused and didn't eat all day was a big factor in me getting diagnosed, whoops lol
I'm glad I found this video. Prior to therapy, I hyperfocused a lot on video games for a while, pedagogy and the stories of the students when I taught, but even after "retiring" and taking a break from it, I really can't a break from this crazy workaholic mindset. So now I just hyperfocus on art while working within my limitations. Whatever you call me, proudly autisitic or just a shit ton of trauma, the routine of hyperobsessing comforts me. That said, I would argue video games are an objective waste of our time if we're built this way apparently. Much love,
Yes, I struggle even on vacations or breaks with not doing something to keep my brain busy! Hyper focusing on video games seems pretty common as I’ve learned from other autistics (and have found with my own computer games too) - maybe it is soothing for us to have a different point of focus, but when you keep going to continue beating levels…makes it a little tricky 😂 It’s also interesting to learn how many other autistics are current or former educators. I feel like that’s a good profession in certain ways, especially with always having something to do Glad you found this video too - thanks for watching and being here!
I'm pretty sure I've got a touch of both. I think you've said you're an auDHDer. I feels as if this is ine of those areas, for me, where my ADHD interrupts my autism. I know "hyperfocus" can be a part of both, but it really stands out to me how monotropism explains a much larger piece of our lives than does the term hyperfocus. What happens with me is that I have this tendency to interrupt my own hyperfocus and even special interests. Then I get in this weird place of limbo that drives me a bit bonkers. I still have that super strong need for the routine and what I love; but still have a drive for (the other thing whose word is escaping me at the moment). Does anyone else experience this?
Yes, I also have a constant routine-that-is-not-a-routine-but-is that constantly morphs depending on what special interests are around, but stays generally the same levels of organised vs chaotic... If that's what you're saying.
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and the way you describe how it really feels and looks to be autistic. I can relate to everything you said and it's awesome to know that I'm not so different and weird! Well, not bad weird anyway 😉!
I am obsessed with TCGS and game balance. I have designed a math based design formula that result in a perfectly, flawlessly balanced TCG where all cards, no matter how immensely different, are exactly equal in power level. This results in a depth of strategy absolutely unheard of in TCGS, where the best most strategic player almost always wins, and in games where you lose, you can easily identify the mistake(s) made to take you there. Had I not been hyper-focused on this, I would have given up after 1000+ people told me making a perfectly balanced TCG is impossible or unfun. Those people are objectively wrong and I have proven it. And that's because of my hyper-focus.
I have a dresser full of comfy clothes within grabbing distance of my desk (right behind and to the left of me). I've got the power!!!!!!! My bookcase is directly behind me. I can jump from book to book and outfit to outfit as needed. It's sublime.
I don't have issues with interoception, instead I am hypersensitive to body cues, so I will become very absorbed with something and feel dying hunger and my bladder about to burst, and I still cannot leave whatever I'm absorbed with. I will be panicking while stuck absorbing more data, and it just boggles my mind.
Once I was reading in the staff room. The tables were pushed together as one and I was sitting at the end. When I looked up half of them and all the chairs were gone! Four people had walked in and moved them to the next room. I hadn't noticed.
Three months ago I had never heard of a paludarium then I randomly saw one on youtube. Couple hundred hours of research later and I'm 3d modeling a detailed replication of a pond in Indonesia and looking for a good vampire crab vendor.
My husband uses gamer language on me because we are both gamers. No matter what I am doing, he will ask me if I can pause right now to gauge if he can even ask me a question or if he needs to wait.
I am interested in classic cars. But only really one make and one or two models. Other classic car people think that I would be interested in their particular make and model of car but I'm probably not. I just realised that this might be another facet of mild autism, maybe.
Even though I'm autistic I don't like repetitive things. It actually drives me crazy to be forced to do the same exact thing at the same exact time everyday. Maybe it's my ADHD that makes me think that way, I don't know. Some of the things you mentioned I definitely do myself, but only a few of them. You might think that I'm not really that autistic but I'm actually pretty severely autistic, level 2. I guess I'm almost the opposite of Monotropism is some ways.
I was wondering if anyone else felt this way, I’m also auDHD. I experience the long monotropic moments, but I can also bounce between things. It’s more like my monotropic moments are a merger of ADHD and monotropism, where I’m bouncing between things but still in a zone and not wanting to be interrupted. This causes issues when I start a new task like doing chores but it’s not actually a true transition out of my zone and my partner misunderstands.
Every autistic is truly unique. That’s one of the things I find so interesting. Being both autistic and an adhder seems to mix things up quite a bit. Having the combination is sometimes helpful and other times it’s not.
Ha,ha, focus, the amount of time I have been locked in at college, cos I was focusing on teaching reports and have missed the deadline for locking the doors.
Hold up actually, not wanting to be interrupted plays into when I’m in a conversation and I want to say something, and I’m waiting for a pause to say it because I don’t want to interrupt someone else
Totally off topic of this video, but totally inspired by you Chris. I got my first Nee Doh Cube the other day & absolutely LOVE it! Took it out in my pocket where I assume it got squashed a bit & ended up with a permanent crease in it... Has this happened to you, or anyone else? Doesn't change how I use it of course, just the imperfection is visually frustrating a bit. Thank you for the recommendation, definitely the best fidget thing I have used (blissful).
I’m not sure if it’s the exact same but I have one cube that got lost in my wife Debby’s purse for several weeks. When we found it, one of the sides wasn’t flat. It grew two little humps with a crease in the middle. It permanently looks like a miniature butt. I push down on each of the pink butt cheeks from time to time and I’ve learned to appreciate its new shape. My other cubes and gumdrops have never had this kind of problem. Just curious, what color was your cube?
Thank you so much for taking the time to get back to me. It sounds like your pink cube ended up with the perfect shape 😁. My Nee Doh Cube is blue, didn't end up with a symmetrical crease or any cheeks, but I love how it feels, the way that it doesn't bounce back as soon as I release the pressure on it is so soothing. I am very new to fidget items and have never tried the the gumdrop, is it similar to a Nee Doh Cube at all? While I am here I just wanted to say a huge thank you to for putting out your informative videos and for your honesty in them.
I remember this one time I was so focused on a new photoshop I was doing for an Anime I was into that when I finally finished it and looked up from my laptop, I saw my room was pitch black. The sun had completely set without my noticing and the only light in my room was from the laptop I was working on. Probably not very good for my eyesight, LOL.
I want to suggest something here on this channel, and I'm going to suggest it on some of the other prominent "autism channels," too. Here it is, and what do you think about it: could a key aspect of autistic cognition be a relative absence of default, intrinsic, implicit assumptions? I could write paragraphs and paragraphs here elaborating the idea, but I won't. All I'll say is, think about it. And that something about it screams experiential truth to me. (One outgrowth of this would be the intensity of "special interests" which form our experiential framework and cognitive reference points/assumptions.)
Well, I love the videos. I’m not sure I can quite agree with the optimism of having autism. Maybe your experiences were different than mine but mine have always been and continue to be terrible.
I’ve struggled a lot, especially in the past. As I’ve learned more about autism, I’ve made adjustments to my life that have helped. I cater to my brain’s strengths and only take on a load I can handle. It’s been a process, but a very rewarding one. Your life can improve… you just have to take actionable baby steps. Stay away from shitty people.
@@ChrisandDebby when you lack support everywhere, at home, at work, at college, and over 40 jobs in technology. Believe me I want to believe it gets better. Maybe another 40 years will do the trick. Shitheads are everywhere.
So i found out a way for myself to look at people while not looking at people's eyes when having to talk to strangers or family members I ether don't remember or have no idea who they are but I've noticed that I just look at the mouth of a person and iv not had anyone notice yet.
And when I comes to focus I luckily have a really nice and understanding roommate that helps me with routines and such and in a way I help her to because she can be a hot head and such so she comes to me when she needs a major second opinion that requires logical thinking...
As newly diagnosed and skeptical about my diagnosis, I was going to ask my shrink to explain monotropism in greater detail, but I ran across your video first. I really appreciate these. Oh, and I have a question for you or anyone who might be able to point me in the right direction. I'm looking to join an online autism group that meets regularly and I haven't had any success. Any suggestions?
If someone talks slowly or wants to show off their storytelling skills, they lose me in seconds. Once they start, it's easy to know what they're going to say long before they get there. It's painful just holding there while trying to not be rude and thinking about 100 other things while I wait thought the boredom. It's incredibly annoying. Even if I'm rude and blurt out their story, they act like I said absolutely nothing and finish every word at the same speed until the known end. As it turns out, they often don't care about anyone else's feelings. They're inflicting themselves on others and it's thoughtless AF. It's not always us.
So when you said the part about wanting to finish the task you are currently working on, but then getting interrupted and having to go to a meeting or something, and the fact that you're thinking about, you have to go return to the task you were working on to finish it when you said all that it literally made me feel really queezy and nauseou because I absolutely require finishing whatever task im working on and breaking away from it and then returning to it is almost impossible for someone like me. So if I'm working on making a video or editing a song or writing a song, I would much rather upset the entire world than to pause what I'm doing and then try to regain the motivation to do it and finish it later. And it's probably because I haven't eaten all day because I have no introsection and don't really know when I'm hungry until its way way way too late. But the mixture of being hungry and the thing that you said made me nearly throw up because yes, interrupting a task that we desperately need to finish is the worst. Thank you so much brother for making this video. And I asked you in another comment if you would be my friend and I haven't gotten a response as far as I know so just let me know because I really need someone like you to help me. Because I discovered in January that I've had autism for 39 years and did not know it and I'm suicida as a result, and if you would talk to me through email or something like that I would be really grateful even if it's just like once a month. julianmcfarland@gmail.com Love you
Julian, why are you su*c*d*l as a result of receiving a diagnosis? A diagnosis can be a gift if it’s the first step to understanding the why behind some of your challenges, but then the real gift comes of figuring out what kind of steps you can take to use your natural abilities to become more of what you want to be.
the interrupting thing is the worst , autistics would feel like having an anger outburst exactly like Jack in the shinning when he was writing and Wendy came down trynna be nice wifey but "YOU BREAK MY CONCENTRATION WENDY!" so lets establish things i would say like Jack said to her "whenever im in here , whether you hear me typing or whether you DON'T hear me typing, or whatever the F*** you hear me doing; when I'm in here, it means that I am working, THAT means DONT COME IN"
Very well thought out and helpful content but..... WARNING..... An unusual amount of profanity. Don't listen to this around anyone who doesn't like swearing ( me) or around kids.
I’m glad you thought the content was helpful! I’m sorry if my use of profanity bothered you. I drop in profanity 3 times in the video and there are a few reasons for this. I hope my explanation will help. 1. I don’t believe in censorship. What’s the point of having words which convey meaning if you can’t use them. Like any words, there needs to be a reason for the use and the meaning should accurately portray the meaning you want. In the case of this video, I believe they do. 2. I never use profanity maliciously or in a way that bullies or attacks others. 3. I use profanity because it illustrates the exact words I’m thinking in my head within the context I describe. A lot of what I do is share my experiences and i want it to be as honest and real as possible. 4. I’m a little bit put off by all the content being made that is very safe and honestly pretty boring. My use of profanity provides a slight shock factor but also a thinking process that many people can relate to. It is a bit more edgy, but also more entertaining for me and many others. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ve never been described as boring and neither will my content. Most of my videos have no profanity or very little. For the few videos that do or will have profanity, I might add a note in the description or a small icon on the thumbnail. Or I might partially bleep it out. What do you think of these ideas? I also make sure TH-cam knows my videos are not for kids before I upload them. I’m definitely not purposefully trying to bother or upset anyone, and I’ve learned if you try to please everyone, you’ll end up pleasing no one. I will continue to create and provide the highest quality content I can with each and every piece I create… but I’m also going to stay true to my style and voice. I really appreciate you being here.
@@ChrisandDebby: I am a 60-something AD/H/D’er (diagnosed in my 40’s) now 95% convinced that I’m also Autistic. I subbed upon discovering your channel a few weeks ago, and this is my first (but not last) comment. (I really enjoy your videos and always think of things I’d like to say, but my spinal disabilities (6) plus musculoskeletal issues like Fibromyalgia and Arthritis, often make commenting too difficult.) What I’d like to comment on is your swearing, which clearly offended a viewer. . . I too, am pretty sensitive to cussing, but also abhor censorship. I’m not taking “sides” here, and even though I can be very irritated by people tossing F-bombs around, I’ve been known to drop one for added emphasis myself-usually when riled up! Too many people use swear words in place of adult vocabulary, which also (n)annoys me. You, however, are not that person! I also liked your thoughtful reply to said viewer. What I have tried-since becoming a parent decades ago-as a sort of compromise between swearing and censorship, is to replace F-bombs/other swears with more generic language. For instance, saying the words “CUSS”, or “BOTHER” instead of actually cussing! It can be fun to come up with new ways to de-fang potentially offensive words! At least to this word-nerd. Apologies for the length of my comment, Chris and Debbie. Ciao for now!
Thanks for the reply. Your explanation does help. And yes I am starting to understand your style, which I really do enjoy. You are funny and informative, but I did feel the shock value you speak of wasn't needed because you were articulating very well what was going on in your head. Clearly you are helping so many people who are feeling some of the same things(myself included). Maybe for me swearing is triggering. I am not adverse to some swearing but the f-bomb is jarring. Your suggestion of a side note to profanity would be extremely helpful. I am not officially diagnosed and probably won't ever need it thanks to content like yours. It helps so much to understand what is going on in my head and body. I got through life pretty well so far but now I can be better equipped to handle all these things going through my head. I am going to get one of those squishy blocks soon.😊 Thanks again and keep up the good work.
There is only one person in this world who is allowed to interrupt me when I am in hyperfocus, and that is my cat. Because let's be honest, she's my primary special interest, i love her, and she is an innocent little bean.
Most accurate statement
@@rebeccacrow9427 👈👍💯
It’s so very easy to have diverse interests and be able to switch focus quickly when everything is shallow. It’s hard to turn an iceberg.
I totally feel this way. I am usually am put in multi level , social multi tasking job. I have made an internal flow chart of response. In some cases it is just a non energy response that people seemore than happy with , but other days with unscheduled problem after problem ... I am told I get rude and my "smiley face " is only what is important. I have tried for years to try and get a non " face of the company" job... autistic masking at its best/worst
As an echolaliac autist, I must say “I’m shyyy” at the start of your videos. It readies my brain.
This just made my day! And sounds like ideal viewing prep 😊
Love this 🙏🏼
Shyyyyy 🥳
ssHHYYYY!
@@ChrisandDebby It made it into my texting.
Resistance is futile.
SHYYYYYYYY
I either finish a drawing in 8 hours straight with 0 distractions or I will never finish it at all.
Literally!!!!!! Same!!!!!!! Unless I have a hyperfixation on the theme of the drawing, like a fandom or characters. Then I'm really excited to finish that drawing. When I don't finish that drawing where I'm hyperfixated on the characters, I end up thinking about the unfinished drawing the whole time I'm not drawing.
I am autistic, and I think I might be also ADHD, 'cause my special interests keep changing.
I just spent almost a week, 9 to 12 hours a day, creating a whole new ttrpg combat system, based on my favorite video game.
I build minis in clay, I wrote a guide, I spent hundreds of euros in battle maps and crafting furnitures, hours balancing the fun and difficulty of the gameplay of each type of character, and I'm very proud of what I've done.
I proposed to a few of my friends to come test it one day.
And I woke up a few days ago, and I'm so bored of it, I can't work on it anymore, and I don't know what to do.
I feel I've exhausted myself, I messed up my sleep schedule, I lost my routines, I ate sugar for days, because I didn't want to leave my work to buy groceries...
Monotropism is nice, but I can't handle it, I always end up like a mess. And I'm currently unemployed, but when I am, you can imagine the effects on my job !
I feel like sisyphus, and my rock just dropped to the bottom of the mountain.
I was struggling with this too, being completely consumed and in love with a thing, only to wake up with the desire gone without cause. Then a friend made a great point! It’s not always WHAT you are into that is the most important, but THAT you are interested. Some people never get to feel that surge or joy and exhilaration from a special interest. Although the interest may change in subject, being interested and getting joy from engaging will always be ours to experience. Go gently with yourself until the next interest arises. I love you Human!
I have this. I will have been deep diving into a special interest and then something maybe related to or not to the original interest and then need to deep dive into that one for an extended period of time. People do get put off by my drive to focus on them during “conversion “ meaning I excitedly talk your ear off if you don’t find away to disengage from it. Unfortunately people can be pretty horrible about it. One of my ex’s said “why can’t you tell when people don’t want to talk to you anymore?” there was some other awful stuff said that was said in a nasty manner. It still hurts. I get people who don’t understand when I say that things can wait while my boys finish game levels or a group match game like you have in Halo. I understand why it is important to allow them to finish but catch them before they start another one. Games have a flow and breaking that focus can be so frustrating especially when it is going well.
@@Kageoni187 that's a great analogy ! And I'm glad I could find someone who is always wiling to listen to my monologues, and ask questions even when they're not too interested. It means the world to me.
@@ashleyskinner1467 Thank you, you're a sweetheart. Indeed, I keep all of my previous interests close to my heart. They're my experiences, they're part of what I am.
You explain things so well.
That's why I love listening to autistic people, you speak exhaustively.
Have a nice day, you deserve it.
This is so relatable.
While watching the video, I suddenly thought about a situation at work... and now I have to rewind the video because my brain just did not register anything while my mind was somewhere else. And what part of the video was it? Well about that most people can do many things at the same time. How fitting!
Omg, this!!! I am an educator and let’s just say, I go ALL in! I call Autism my superpower. ❤
Yes! We have seen this with some very dedicated colleagues as educators too - your students are lucky to have you!! 😊
Holy shit! Is it dark outside??!! I say this at least once a week. (I thought it was just me…..being lazy and not doing things I should be doing 😬)
It’s definitely not just you! 😂
I love your videos 🥰
When I'm focused on doing something, we say I'm on a mission. I knit, and an adult garment isn't something that can be made in one day. So when I'm on a mission with a jumper, it's all I want to do until it's finished. It *really* bugs me when I have to stop for anything sometimes. When I'm writing I get so involved in the story that I'm there and the transition back to real life is very unsettling. And yes, I can easily miss meals and loo breaks too.
Man, I can't count tbe number of times I've stayed at work until 6:30+PM to get something done. I was diagnosed this past April, and I'm slowly realizing that my behaviors were VERY autistic lol. I'm glad for videos like this that are so informative 🙂
Thanks man. I'm newly diagnosed (at fkin 50). and you make things feel less scary by far.
Thank you for this! It’s taken me some time (after my diagnosis at 41) and might for you too - but you’ll get there and just know there’s lots of other people like you. So you’re not alone on it which helped me a lot too
@@ChrisandDebby Right so i just read this and you've made me all teary you lovely peeps. Yay emotional dis-regulation . AutyHD 4 eva (which is, I suppose, what I have to come to terms with). Peace and happiness to you both :)
This is why I don't understand why I wasn't diagnosed as a kid. "Wheres Timmy?" "Oh he's been upstairs constructing a castle with his Legos for 6 hours straight."
I remember one time as a child when it was getting dark and I realized I hadn't ate all day. I was really skinny as a kid. Now I have meal times in with my routine. I had a feeling I was ADHD for awhile but never autism until maybe a year or two ago. I do have some of the traits. I becoming very much interested in things for a period of time. It varies. Currently I'm back on plants/gardening, learning to look new things/diet. Over the years I'd get attached to things. Cars, wood working, computers/tech, gaming, photography. A lot of these have stuck but don't consume me. That seems to rotate every few months. I got really into clothes/makeup for a bit and being more open about gender fluidity. That also caused a lot of confusion on who I was until I stopped trying to label and fit into things and just let things be when they wanted to be.
I'm really particular about foods. I have to have milk with tea and I have tea biscuits with my tea in afternoon and sometimes as a late snack. I have to have my morning eggs and toast. Lunch and dinner are open to whatever though. I don't like ankle socks that go down too far, they have to be above the boney part of the foot. Shirts can't fit too tight. It's been interesting learning all these things about myself and why I do them.
Lego was the bomb.
I used to sit on the couch reading as a little kid and people would apparently call my name in the same room and I just didn't hear them/ register.
Your interests over time sound really fun and intriguing, so I can see why you would get absorbed - when I was teaching and we used legos, I almost had as hard a time stopping as the kids 😂 I also have ADHD too so sometimes it’s tricky to see where autism stops and adhd begins but it’s a struggle sometimes.
I hear you also on wondering now how so much got missed when I was a kid. Here’s to hoping things improve for the next generation with better understanding!
Also yes @lhans1368 about not hearing my name - still is a struggle!
Oh this! The first paragraph you wrote - now that i think about it, i used to, for 3-4 hours at a time, get totally absorbed in drawing, this as a 7-12 yr old, and noone questioned it. When i was playing with friends i would get fixed on one task and they would get bored and move on and play with my sister, while i had to finish what we had started doing.
I remember when I was about maybe 7 or 8, I decided i wanted to put loan cards into all our books just like at the library (in the old days). My sweet sister joined in the fun for a good period but i ended up finishing most of it for the 1500 or so picture books we had lolol.( I know we had that many because I counted them one day 😅)
@@lightawake As a kid, the library was my sanctuary. It was quiet, the lighting wasn't super bright and it felt cozy. Watching librarians stamp cards and put them in pockets looked like so much fun! When they added a barcode scanner I was ready to work there full time. 😂
You have a hilarious way of explaining it, but you are absolutely correct. There is nothing more annoying than being interrupted when I am doing something. My brain instantly goes into what I call "Go the fuck away" mode, and I do whatever is necessary to make my level of annoyance perfectly clear to the person that has so rudely interrupted me.
We're definitely in it. In the zone. Zoned in not zoned out. Thank you for your content, for real. 🎉
The way you articulate things feels like they're realized thoughts I've had myself before.
I'm torn on if/when to tell my employers I'm autistic. The usual reply is, "What does that mean?" And I find myself tasked with the impossible mission of conveying the relevant information without overloading them.
The details matter to me, in almost every aspect of my life, and I just want to reply with, "How much time have you got?"
I've not received a gormal diagnosis, but my insurance kicks in in a couple of months at my new job and I'll be looking to get it done.
My youngest son appears to be on the spectrum as well. Definitely on the "high functioning" side, as he can socialize okay, but there's so many little tells.
The big one for me is that he'll spend hours playing with a piece of race track from one of his toy car kits. Not the cars, but the piece of track. He'll pace up and down the living room making grunting noises, spinning and twirling it in his hands. I used to do the same kind of play with coathangers until I was well into my teens, I'd still go and do it because it was one of my favorite activities. It stimulated the visual side of my brain and let me imagine any of a number of scenarios.
I'm rambling... Thanks for the video, I'm having a blast browsing your channel!
I'm still on a journey of trying to figure out whether I'm autistic or not, but this entire video resonated so hard for me. I think the only part that *didn't* resonate with me was the "needing more time to think of what I'm going to say" or "needing to focus on lots of different things during a conversation." But everything else, 100% spot-on. Thank you so much for this!
When I was a teenager once I was reading in the kitchen, when my father came and started to make popcorn in a big pan in the stove. At some point he decided to go do something else, and asked me to call him when the popcorn was starting to get ready (it should be easy to notice, because the popping noise is fast at the beginning, and then it starts to slow down until it stops). I don't remember whether I acknowledged him or not. I might have grunted something in response, and he left. I continued reading. At some point my reading was disturbed by him angrily screaming at me. Apparently, the popcorn had gotten ready and started to burn, and the whole kitchen was covered by a thick smoke, and I was still concentrated on my reading, completely unaware of the smoke. (There was no fire, we didn't have a fire alarm, and the popcorn was burning inside the pan). I didn't smell nor see the smoke, and I didn't notice the noises of the popcorn popping nor the popping ending. He was not understanding at all. It's funny to think of it now, 30 years later. Both my father and I are autistic, though undiagnosed. Maybe if we knew we were both autistic we would have been more understanding to each other. He passed away years ago, undiagnosed. I understand him much better now, with all the knowledge about autism I have acquired.
This puts it into words so perfectly. Your video really explains how the real life expression of our autistic traits are sometimes crippling for the same reason that they can be an amazing gift.
Thank you for this! Hope more people can start to see autism in a new light too 😊
My biggest challenge is being a single mother to two feisty terriers. They definitely can break my concentration and throw me off track. Sometimes I need to get off track with a good long walk but I don’t like it when I’m in the zone. On weekends, I’ll drop them off at doggy daycare when I need a day of uninterrupted time. They have fun playing and I have fun staying focused.
Your buddies sound awesome - I can see the challenges but I’m guessing they don’t give up too easily when they need to get out! And good for you to find a good routine when you need some time for you 😊 Thanks for sharing this!
OMG! My whole life, I've thought I've had a bad memory because I'd literally forget very basic things like eating or going to the bathroom. I had to learn to remind myself to do these things, and even then it's just so hard to remember! I guess I have monotropism though. Lightbulbs are exploding and fireworks are going off in my head hearing this. Thanks! X)
This is 100% how my brain works. Thanks. I feel better about not being able to stop what I'm doing. I have ADHD too though so I don't have one specific special interest unless web comics/manga count. I think anime used to be it but I watched all of the major shows and I hate to rewatch them, I only loop songs on repeat. That's what I enjoy and do the most.
Daydreaming too, but I don't really count that as a hobby as much as a maladaptive coping mechanism. I feel so burnt out if I don't escape into some mental story. It helps me process stuff too. If only I could actually write these stories down, but nope, they stay in my brain. The thing is that I really don't want to share them anyway because it's personal.
I daydream a lot too when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed. The places my brain takes me are wonderful and magical. I bet yours are too.
Yey! I’m teaching struggling students how to read. And yes it is my special interest (and all things books and reading related). And because of this I am known in my city as someone who can help in the toughest situations. I love my job and I have a very decent living because of it.
Great explanation!❤
My AuDHD allowed me to get a very good masters degree because my hyperfocus and autodidactic learning let me learn so much stuff in short time.
Know I am a freelancer doing copywriting and webdesigns. I learned all about this and marketing and a lot more in a short amount of time all by myself. I can't even imagine don't be able to do that.
I am in hyperfocus most of the time when I am working for my customers. I just have to do everything for not being interrupted. But that's not hard. I live alone with my dog, wear my noise cancelling headphones, phone is always mute and if someone rings the doorbell I just ignore that. I don't have phone calls or meetings, I only communicate with interested people and customers via e-mail.
Hell yea, sounds perfect to me! Enjoy it :)
I now understand why someone interrupting my teaching or suddenly showing up to “observe me”, hurts my brain and makes me angry.
Oh yes! In our schools we have several autistic teachers. We make sure to provide them with a lot of notice before anyone pops in. One of our best teachers is autistic and he always over thinks and gets worried. After he came to talk to us about it, we started including him in mentoring and teacher observations and it’s made all the difference. We also try and place our autistic teachers in classrooms that are in quieter areas with less foot traffic. Some of our teachers need quite a bit of accommodations, but when provided, the quality of their work and level of preparation is phenomenal! They also connect on a deeper more meaningful level with our autistic kiddos.
I hope you are getting the accommodations you need!
Being monotropic but also having adhd is a wild ride
Awe shi… I’m excited.. this is my jam!
Great info and perspective that validates autistic point of view! Love your analogies, personal examples and stories - they really make your brand - please include more :)
Thanks so much for the encouragement! And for being here - appreciate your support 😊 will continue with having lots of stories and examples often
@@ChrisandDebby thank you! I'm finding it's your videos I share when I'm wanting to introduce people to my autism in a way that won't freak us both out:) it's so personal, funny, upbeat and clear.
Knee pits. I've never heard that before. I love it. Bloody hell does that mean I can have elbow pits as well? I am now literally going around my body looking for new pits. Toe pits? Ooh ear pits, you know right behind your ear lobes... 😆
Enjoyed the video and the coverage of monotropism. Very relatable.
But not sure we should be lauding Edison considering he took advantage of the probably true neurodivergent Tesla.
Spent a week staying up until 6am gathering all of my music as lossless files for my ipod, ipod died cause it had a hard drive and it got corrupted, lost everything, immediately spent another 2 weeks pretty much not sleeping gathering that music back and changing the metadata on each file so it had the artist, album, release date, album cover, etc so i could have them sort and display properly and it was entirely worth it
This is probably the Number 1 difference between my husband (ADHD - Polytropic for sure) and me (Autistic - Monotropic) - conversations bounce around faster than I can keep up and I constantly circle back to the thing I'm still focused on. Or, he has a great idea and wants to tell me about it while I'm "in the zone" on a work project and, yes, I want to karate chop him in the neck multiple times LOL. (Best quote of the day for sure!)
I can't believe there's a name for that! I've noticed it happens to me all the time at work.
Sometimes, if there are multiple ways to do a task, I'll focus on one method in particular, even if it's not the most ideal. That leads to people telling me, "Why don't you do it like this instead?" That does a pretty good job of making me feel stupid.
Also, when I'm working, I just want to focus on the task at hand and nothing else. Co-workers talking loudly around me are distractions to me and are often very annoying.
I'm usually a pretty efficient worker, but I get the impression that my of thinking puts other people off. It can be very frustrating and depressing sometimes...
5:44 mentions old “freight” steam trains, ah hell, now I have to watch & listen to trains non-stop for several weeks. Just kidding, I already was….
This explains so much for me. I have been made fun of so much for this, not knowing how to explain why I think this way.
In the house I grew up in we would have 3 or 4 conversations going at one time, plus a couple of sub conversations. The ability to split my focus, was beaten in to me. Now I get bored if I only have one thing going. People will be upset, insulted, whatever, if I don't stop what I am doing and pretend to focus only on them. Narcissistic, arrogant, bothersome. I never talk to them about what I'm interested in, because they don't even pretend to be interested and why give them amo to use against me.
Other people's inability to actually listen when *they* need a good listener ( *Me!* ) so often is pretty infuriating.
This is a good video! I smile when you say sshhyyy. Good explanations.
Spot on!!! I worked at a small nonprofit, and people interrupting my focus, especially while working on budgets and financial reports, was infuriating! I requested that people not say anything to me when passing my desk, so they would wave instead. 🤯 I finally shut the door and put up a sign that I needed time to prepare for chats/meetings. My boss was SO angry. I was deemed rude and antisocial simply because I tried to meet my needs while accommodating everyone else, too. She barged into my office and said that sign didn't apply to her and she could interrupt me whenever she pleased. It was mostly for personal/non-work related matters, yet at evaluation time she called my time management into question. I couldn't take it anymore. Still looking for a job years later, while recovering from autistic burnout.
Did you disclose your diagnosis and request reasonable adjustments?
@@camellia8625 I was undiagnosed at that time. My narcissistic boss wouldn't have cared anyway.
I'm just going to say it, we need more of the "outtakes/bloopers" - Fantastic new video. I myself find that I have so many interests, and I struggle with which one to focus on, so lately it's been understanding my Neurodivergence better- and it seems I am all over the map there too... It's been quite a wild ride. Thank you both, Chris and Debby, for being such amazing guides through this late diagnosing. You're helping me so much and I know you are helping others too and that means the world to me as that is my hope too.
I have a lot of bloopers that don’t make it onto the video. TH-cam only gives me 20 seconds at the end. I wonder if I should just make videos every once in a while of the bloopers. Some of them are really stupid, but they crack Debby up.
And I’m absolutely thrilled you are enjoying the content. I appreciate the kind words.
I relate to this soo much. I was filming a video for my TH-cam channel and my partner interrupted me insisting we have lunch and I just totally lost my cool. Packed up all my gear, threw away my half finished project and haven’t filmed since 😂 dramatic much, not to me! The idea and passion for the project are dead, I couldn’t possibly pick it up half finished.
My special interest switches between my 2 favorite tv shows, rewatching/catching up on other series that are still running, knitting/crocheting (I am currently trying to crochet a huge granny square blanket that now comes from the bottom of my feet to around my knees, it’s growing!!!!), photography, scrapbooking, music (my og true passion that led to my career), reading (though I want to read so many at once that I’m between 4-6 and don’t touch any of them for months but when I do I can’t put them down), dancing and attempting to learn pole dancing when I have the money, hiking, and going on spontaneous adventures with my friends.
I do struggle with silence, I completely hate it, but I need silence when I read, which may be part of why I struggle with reading but can listen to a podcast about true crime, weather, or cults all day long. Oh! Podcasts are another special interest of mine! But I’m pretty sure I’m AuDHD. I’ll have a specific interest for anywhere between a few days to months and then I need a different specific interest to deep dive on.
It’s like a constant tug of war with adhd and asd😂😂
@@ChrisandDebby very much so, which can honestly lead to feeling overwhelmed and shut down way too often it seems like.
Thank you for posting this, it really helped understand myself better.
I often get into so much trouble with this, so many misunderstandings. I recently got banned from my best friends house (they still live with their parents) because I didn't respond to their mother who apparently yelled across the house for me multiple times, but because I was in the zone doing something else I didn't hear her. Mother assumed I was purposefully being rude by not replying and when I told them I didn't hear them because I was caught up doing something else they didn't believe me/understand and I was banned from their home. I really wish people would start being more open and understanding, this kind of thing happens to me all the time and I'm so tired of being misunderstood :(
I know what you mean. The impact of others not understanding our neurology hits us a lot and sometimes it hits us pretty hard. It’s extremely frustrating and it honestly isn’t fair. Everything always seems to fall on us - it’s our responsibility to conform. This is why I started this channel. We shouldn’t be punished or ostracized as often as we are.
Maybe you could talk to your best friend and have them show this video to mom?? I hope it gets solved for you.
The interesting thing is that this is why I stopped my ADHD meds. They made me focus like this... like I was out of control with my focus. But it would totally mute my ability to perceive my hunger and other bodily issues so I'd end up really dizzy and irritable and think there was no reason which was distressing, which made me more freaked out because now I'm focusing intensely on why I feel weird and then people are trying to talk to me and it makes me want to freak out! I realized later I should just eat, that helped a moderate amount but if I don't need to access that level of focus (ie work got easier since I got a less crazy/strict boss), I see no reason to put myself and my wife through that any more.
Note, this wasn't even stimulants, it was Welbutrin/Bupropion. The stims made me feel physically sick almost 24/7.
Best explaination of monotropism ever 🙏👍😍
But then you mix ADHD in there and I bounce from one thing to the next according to my own distractions.
This is my experience as well
The ADHD and autism combination can be challenging at times for sure (and I know exactly what you’re talking about) 😅 but when I’m “on” and on the zone, I also finish a lot more than anyone else in less time. Do you find this too?
@@ChrisandDebby I find this to be true. I am sort of "all or nothing" as far as productivity as well. My "all" is SO productive that I have a hard time determining if I am getting a normal about of stuff done. To me it feels like I am getting nothing accomplished!
@@ChrisandDebby Totally. I can be a machine and accomplish so much, but other times I derail.
Then the autism kicks back in and I get anxious 😰 and realize that I have been bouncing back and forth between different things..... and haven't gotten anything accomplished LoL
I have a NeeDoh now because of you and I love it!! ❤
ok, great video minus the 49 stock footage inserts. maybe i blinked and missed one for the big 50. i probably shouldnt count the 2 cool vintage train clips because i like trains. and the eggs in the basket works because theres an element of humor there. is my reaction to mundane stock clips a demonstration of monotropism? because im in flow state watching you and paying close attention to your words and then WHAM - a stock clip breaks my focus. i miss what you are saying as the banality of the clip sinks in and i also cant remember what you said before the clip. is that the result of the brain jolt? i appreciate the accomodation you made for us by taking out the background music. any chance you could cut out the predicatble, humorless stock videos? let your natural humor shine.
YEEEEESSSS!!! I just didn't wanna say anything about it. Yes yes yes.
Working on adjusting some of this down the road (but will be a little while because we finished some of the upcoming videos quite a while ago) - but we use the clips to illustrate the concepts sometimes for those who like visual representations of what we are discussing. Also helps for spots where we do weird things with our face or need to cut things or stuff like that, but keeping this in mind for the future but still haven’t figured out a perfect set up just yet.
On a side note - much further down the line, we are considering maybe a podcast. Do you feel like that could be a good alternative setup too? (I personally rarely listen to podcasts but a few other people asked about it and it seems like it would lend itself well to the style you’re talking about.)
Thanks for being here!
@@ChrisandDebby thanks for responding. I watch a boat load of autustic content and I don't make it a habit to suggest changes, but you two are something extraordinary. I don't have any credentials to back up my expertise on your editing choices other than being a 60 year old autist artist. I can say for certain that you have started off with a bang and your potential is limitless. guard your energy. do what brings you maximum joy. drop everything else. authenticity and quirky humor will go over well with ND's if you can keep the sensory experience within the window of tolerance. I bet that room in Edinburgh that you love so much is sensory friendly. If you can borrow that aesthetic in your videos for your ND audience, you will be appreciated beyond words.
Thanks for all your nice words and faith in what we are doing!! Just wanted to let you know we got this and are working on some ideas with our editor - already finished videos won’t get adjusted but as we move forward, we’ll be working on some modifications to reduce some of the stock footage. Will look forward to hearing your thoughts on those later!!
Thanks again for being here and also providing more context and clarification. We’re always up for making our work better and better 😊
sewing or painting often ends up like this for me, i think telling the assesor about the time i made 3 new shirts in one day over the course of 16 hours and almost wet myself because i was so focused and didn't eat all day was a big factor in me getting diagnosed, whoops lol
I'm glad I found this video. Prior to therapy, I hyperfocused a lot on video games for a while, pedagogy and the stories of the students when I taught, but even after "retiring" and taking a break from it, I really can't a break from this crazy workaholic mindset. So now I just hyperfocus on art while working within my limitations.
Whatever you call me, proudly autisitic or just a shit ton of trauma, the routine of hyperobsessing comforts me.
That said, I would argue video games are an objective waste of our time if we're built this way apparently.
Much love,
Yes, I struggle even on vacations or breaks with not doing something to keep my brain busy! Hyper focusing on video games seems pretty common as I’ve learned from other autistics (and have found with my own computer games too) - maybe it is soothing for us to have a different point of focus, but when you keep going to continue beating levels…makes it a little tricky 😂
It’s also interesting to learn how many other autistics are current or former educators. I feel like that’s a good profession in certain ways, especially with always having something to do
Glad you found this video too - thanks for watching and being here!
I'm pretty sure I've got a touch of both. I think you've said you're an auDHDer. I feels as if this is ine of those areas, for me, where my ADHD interrupts my autism. I know "hyperfocus" can be a part of both, but it really stands out to me how monotropism explains a much larger piece of our lives than does the term hyperfocus. What happens with me is that I have this tendency to interrupt my own hyperfocus and even special interests. Then I get in this weird place of limbo that drives me a bit bonkers. I still have that super strong need for the routine and what I love; but still have a drive for (the other thing whose word is escaping me at the moment). Does anyone else experience this?
Yes, I also have a constant routine-that-is-not-a-routine-but-is that constantly morphs depending on what special interests are around, but stays generally the same levels of organised vs chaotic... If that's what you're saying.
Your videos are GREAT! Thank you!
Thank you 🧘♀
I do have to say, your videos are comforting. (But I’m shyyyyy) 🙃
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and the way you describe how it really feels and looks to be autistic. I can relate to everything you said and it's awesome to know that I'm not so different and weird! Well, not bad weird anyway 😉!
Who says what’s normal or weird anyway?! And thanks for being here!! Glad you found us 😊
I am obsessed with TCGS and game balance.
I have designed a math based design formula that result in a perfectly, flawlessly balanced TCG where all cards, no matter how immensely different, are exactly equal in power level.
This results in a depth of strategy absolutely unheard of in TCGS, where the best most strategic player almost always wins, and in games where you lose, you can easily identify the mistake(s) made to take you there.
Had I not been hyper-focused on this, I would have given up after 1000+ people told me making a perfectly balanced TCG is impossible or unfun.
Those people are objectively wrong and I have proven it.
And that's because of my hyper-focus.
Thank you for speaking my language.
Peace and All Good.
really awesome video! love the tips!
Totally hilarious.. and real.
The audio quality. Omg I really appreciate it 👍🫶⭐️🧋thank you
Thanks for noticing! We’ve been working a lot on improving the quality 😁
I have a dresser full of comfy clothes within grabbing distance of my desk (right behind and to the left of me). I've got the power!!!!!!! My bookcase is directly behind me. I can jump from book to book and outfit to outfit as needed. It's sublime.
This sounds like an awesome adjustment that you’ve made for yourself!! 👏
I don't have issues with interoception, instead I am hypersensitive to body cues, so I will become very absorbed with something and feel dying hunger and my bladder about to burst, and I still cannot leave whatever I'm absorbed with. I will be panicking while stuck absorbing more data, and it just boggles my mind.
I feel soooo irritated when someone talks to me while I'm trying to do something. I can't wait to live alone again 😢
Been like this forever…thought it was just the “hyper focus” of adhd😂
Once I was reading in the staff room. The tables were pushed together as one and I was sitting at the end. When I looked up half of them and all the chairs were gone! Four people had walked in and moved them to the next room. I hadn't noticed.
Three months ago I had never heard of a paludarium then I randomly saw one on youtube. Couple hundred hours of research later and I'm 3d modeling a detailed replication of a pond in Indonesia and looking for a good vampire crab vendor.
I looked this up after reading your comment. Sounds really cool!!
My husband uses gamer language on me because we are both gamers. No matter what I am doing, he will ask me if I can pause right now to gauge if he can even ask me a question or if he needs to wait.
Ooh I like this so much
I am interested in classic cars. But only really one make and one or two models. Other classic car people think that I would be interested in their particular make and model of car but I'm probably not. I just realised that this might be another facet of mild autism, maybe.
Even though I'm autistic I don't like repetitive things. It actually drives me crazy to be forced to do the same exact thing at the same exact time everyday. Maybe it's my ADHD that makes me think that way, I don't know. Some of the things you mentioned I definitely do myself, but only a few of them. You might think that I'm not really that autistic but I'm actually pretty severely autistic, level 2. I guess I'm almost the opposite of Monotropism is some ways.
I was wondering if anyone else felt this way, I’m also auDHD. I experience the long monotropic moments, but I can also bounce between things. It’s more like my monotropic moments are a merger of ADHD and monotropism, where I’m bouncing between things but still in a zone and not wanting to be interrupted. This causes issues when I start a new task like doing chores but it’s not actually a true transition out of my zone and my partner misunderstands.
Every autistic is truly unique. That’s one of the things I find so interesting. Being both autistic and an adhder seems to mix things up quite a bit. Having the combination is sometimes helpful and other times it’s not.
@@friedeyeballI am Ike this as well.
Yeah, that's the ADHD side.
Good video!
sshhhhyyyyy !
I took the monotropism test, and my score was 216. I guess I'm monotropic, lol.
Ha,ha, focus, the amount of time I have been locked in at college, cos I was focusing on teaching reports and have missed the deadline for locking the doors.
I wonder if theres an aspect of escapism to this?..... as a child I did nothing but read! Just a thought ❤
Hold up actually, not wanting to be interrupted plays into when I’m in a conversation and I want to say something, and I’m waiting for a pause to say it because I don’t want to interrupt someone else
Totally off topic of this video, but totally inspired by you Chris. I got my first Nee Doh Cube the other day & absolutely LOVE it! Took it out in my pocket where I assume it got squashed a bit & ended up with a permanent crease in it... Has this happened to you, or anyone else? Doesn't change how I use it of course, just the imperfection is visually frustrating a bit. Thank you for the recommendation, definitely the best fidget thing I have used (blissful).
I’m not sure if it’s the exact same but I have one cube that got lost in my wife Debby’s purse for several weeks. When we found it, one of the sides wasn’t flat. It grew two little humps with a crease in the middle. It permanently looks like a miniature butt. I push down on each of the pink butt cheeks from time to time and I’ve learned to appreciate its new shape. My other cubes and gumdrops have never had this kind of problem.
Just curious, what color was your cube?
Thank you so much for taking the time to get back to me. It sounds like your pink cube ended up with the perfect shape 😁. My Nee Doh Cube is blue, didn't end up with a symmetrical crease or any cheeks, but I love how it feels, the way that it doesn't bounce back as soon as I release the pressure on it is so soothing. I am very new to fidget items and have never tried the the gumdrop, is it similar to a Nee Doh Cube at all?
While I am here I just wanted to say a huge thank you to for putting out your informative videos and for your honesty in them.
I remember this one time I was so focused on a new photoshop I was doing for an Anime I was into that when I finally finished it and looked up from my laptop, I saw my room was pitch black. The sun had completely set without my noticing and the only light in my room was from the laptop I was working on. Probably not very good for my eyesight, LOL.
I hate it when a plane comes over, the noise breaks my attention.
Me too!!
This is 100%, completely, totally meeeee!
I want to suggest something here on this channel, and I'm going to suggest it on some of the other prominent "autism channels," too. Here it is, and what do you think about it: could a key aspect of autistic cognition be a relative absence of default, intrinsic, implicit assumptions? I could write paragraphs and paragraphs here elaborating the idea, but I won't. All I'll say is, think about it. And that something about it screams experiential truth to me. (One outgrowth of this would be the intensity of "special interests" which form our experiential framework and cognitive reference points/assumptions.)
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I think my special interest is just researching stuff.
I am very very very monotropic
Well, I love the videos. I’m not sure I can quite agree with the optimism of having autism. Maybe your experiences were different than mine but mine have always been and continue to be terrible.
I’ve struggled a lot, especially in the past. As I’ve learned more about autism, I’ve made adjustments to my life that have helped. I cater to my brain’s strengths and only take on a load I can handle. It’s been a process, but a very rewarding one. Your life can improve… you just have to take actionable baby steps. Stay away from shitty people.
@@ChrisandDebby when you lack support everywhere, at home, at work, at college, and over 40 jobs in technology. Believe me I want to believe it gets better. Maybe another 40 years will do the trick. Shitheads are everywhere.
So i found out a way for myself to look at people while not looking at people's eyes when having to talk to strangers or family members I ether don't remember or have no idea who they are but I've noticed that I just look at the mouth of a person and iv not had anyone notice yet.
And when I comes to focus I luckily have a really nice and understanding roommate that helps me with routines and such and in a way I help her to because she can be a hot head and such so she comes to me when she needs a major second opinion that requires logical thinking...
I couldn't even get through this video without my family interrupting me 🙄
As newly diagnosed and skeptical about my diagnosis, I was going to ask my shrink to explain monotropism in greater detail, but I ran across your video first. I really appreciate these. Oh, and I have a question for you or anyone who might be able to point me in the right direction. I'm looking to join an online autism group that meets regularly and I haven't had any success. Any suggestions?
Mom on the Spectrum has a great online autism group that meets like one a month or so.
@@smileart37 thanks 🙏
Thanks
Thanks so much for your support!! ❤️
My ASD says yes
My ADHD says yes and...
If this video is intended for Autistic people, why insert stock images when we are trying to focus on what you are saying?
Because some people like the visual representation… myself included! Not all autistic people are the same.
I wish gyms had a no talking rule hahaha
Of course I know someone who’s autistic, he’s me
What year is it hehe
If someone talks slowly or wants to show off their storytelling skills, they lose me in seconds. Once they start, it's easy to know what they're going to say long before they get there. It's painful just holding there while trying to not be rude and thinking about 100 other things while I wait thought the boredom. It's incredibly annoying. Even if I'm rude and blurt out their story, they act like I said absolutely nothing and finish every word at the same speed until the known end. As it turns out, they often don't care about anyone else's feelings. They're inflicting themselves on others and it's thoughtless AF. It's not always us.
I want the purple Nee Doh and you can’t pick which colour you get AAAAAAAAAAHHH
So when you said the part about wanting to finish the task you are currently working on, but then getting interrupted and having to go to a meeting or something, and the fact that you're thinking about, you have to go return to the task you were working on to finish it when you said all that it literally made me feel really queezy and nauseou because I absolutely require finishing whatever task im working on and breaking away from it and then returning to it is almost impossible for someone like me. So if I'm working on making a video or editing a song or writing a song, I would much rather upset the entire world than to pause what I'm doing and then try to regain the motivation to do it and finish it later. And it's probably because I haven't eaten all day because I have no introsection and don't really know when I'm hungry until its way way way too late. But the mixture of being hungry and the thing that you said made me nearly throw up because yes, interrupting a task that we desperately need to finish is the worst. Thank you so much brother for making this video. And I asked you in another comment if you would be my friend and I haven't gotten a response as far as I know so just let me know because I really need someone like you to help me. Because I discovered in January that I've had autism for 39 years and did not know it and I'm suicida as a result, and if you would talk to me through email or something like that I would be really grateful even if it's just like once a month. julianmcfarland@gmail.com
Love you
Julian, why are you su*c*d*l as a result of receiving a diagnosis? A diagnosis can be a gift if it’s the first step to understanding the why behind some of your challenges, but then the real gift comes of figuring out what kind of steps you can take to use your natural abilities to become more of what you want to be.
the interrupting thing is the worst , autistics would feel like having an anger outburst exactly like Jack in the shinning when he was writing and Wendy came down trynna be nice wifey but "YOU BREAK MY CONCENTRATION WENDY!"
so lets establish things i would say like Jack said to her
"whenever im in here , whether you hear me typing or whether you DON'T hear me typing, or whatever the F*** you hear me doing; when I'm in here, it means that I am working, THAT means DONT COME IN"
I can't even listen to music while working. I can't listen to the radio while driving.
I’ve heard of this from a few different people. For me, I can only listen to certain songs when I drive and no music while im working.
eh, not the knee-pits
😂😂
Very well thought out and helpful content but..... WARNING..... An unusual amount of profanity. Don't listen to this around anyone who doesn't like swearing ( me) or around kids.
I’m glad you thought the content was helpful! I’m sorry if my use of profanity bothered you. I drop in profanity 3 times in the video and there are a few reasons for this. I hope my explanation will help.
1. I don’t believe in censorship. What’s the point of having words which convey meaning if you can’t use them. Like any words, there needs to be a reason for the use and the meaning should accurately portray the meaning you want. In the case of this video, I believe they do.
2. I never use profanity maliciously or in a way that bullies or attacks others.
3. I use profanity because it illustrates the exact words I’m thinking in my head within the context I describe. A lot of what I do is share my experiences and i want it to be as honest and real as possible.
4. I’m a little bit put off by all the content being made that is very safe and honestly pretty boring. My use of profanity provides a slight shock factor but also a thinking process that many people can relate to. It is a bit more edgy, but also more entertaining for me and many others. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ve never been described as boring and neither will my content.
Most of my videos have no profanity or very little. For the few videos that do or will have profanity, I might add a note in the description or a small icon on the thumbnail. Or I might partially bleep it out. What do you think of these ideas? I also make sure TH-cam knows my videos are not for kids before I upload them. I’m definitely not purposefully trying to bother or upset anyone, and I’ve learned if you try to please everyone, you’ll end up pleasing no one. I will continue to create and provide the highest quality content I can with each and every piece I create… but I’m also going to stay true to my style and voice.
I really appreciate you being here.
@@ChrisandDebby: I am a 60-something AD/H/D’er (diagnosed in my 40’s) now 95% convinced that I’m also Autistic. I subbed upon discovering your channel a few weeks ago, and this is my first (but not last) comment. (I really enjoy your videos and always think of things I’d like to say, but my spinal disabilities (6) plus musculoskeletal issues like Fibromyalgia and Arthritis, often make commenting too difficult.)
What I’d like to comment on is your swearing, which clearly offended a viewer. . . I too, am pretty sensitive to cussing, but also abhor censorship. I’m not taking “sides” here, and even though I can be very irritated by people tossing F-bombs around, I’ve been known to drop one for added emphasis myself-usually when riled up! Too many people use swear words in place of adult vocabulary, which also (n)annoys me. You, however, are not that person! I also liked your thoughtful reply to said viewer.
What I have tried-since becoming a parent decades ago-as a sort of compromise between swearing and censorship, is to replace F-bombs/other swears with more generic language. For instance, saying the words “CUSS”, or “BOTHER” instead of actually cussing! It can be fun to come up with new ways to de-fang potentially offensive words! At least to this word-nerd.
Apologies for the length of my comment, Chris and Debbie.
Ciao for now!
Thanks for the reply.
Your explanation does help.
And yes I am starting to understand your style, which I really do enjoy. You are funny and informative, but I did feel the shock value you speak of wasn't
needed because you were articulating very well what was going on in your head.
Clearly you are helping so many people who are feeling some of the same things(myself included). Maybe for me swearing is triggering. I am not adverse to some swearing but the f-bomb is jarring. Your suggestion of a side note to profanity would be extremely helpful. I am not officially diagnosed and probably won't ever need it thanks to content like yours. It helps so much to understand what is going on in my head and body. I got through life pretty well so far but now I can be better equipped to handle all these things going through my head. I am going to get one of those squishy blocks soon.😊
Thanks again and keep up the good work.
Dont become a teacher when you are monotrophic. You will need to be constantly switching tasks
I disagree with the idea that monotropic thinkers shouldn’t become teachers. I also think monotropic thinkers are very capable of switching tasks.