Conquering my academic demon
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ก.ค. 2024
- Quantum field theory defeated me in my masters. Can I vanquish my demon this time?
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This video is about me trying to learn quantum field theory (QFT) but really it's about what I learned about learning. Over the course of three months I came to terms with a traumatic mental health experience before my PhD, developed my knowledge of physics, and came to a whole new appreciation of being a student. I even had some help direct from a graduate student in quantum field theory at the University of Oxford! This is a very personal video, and in a way one I made for me, but I still hope you enjoy it :)
QFT resources! Here are a variety of lecture notes I used:
- Quantum Field Theory for the Gifted Amateur indico.cern.ch/event/957763/c...
- Oxford QFT notes: www-thphys.physics.ox.ac.uk/p...
- Cambridge notes (canonical quantisation): www.damtp.cam.ac.uk/user/tong...
Note that there are also some
For a fantastic visualisation of QFT (that Thomas also helped out with) check out this phenomenal video from ScienceCLIC: • Quantum Field Theory v...
This video is a sequel of sorts to my Day in the Life of an Oxford Physics Student video, where I filmed my fourth year at Oxford: • A day in the life of a... (I filmed this in movember, pls don't judge)
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In a way, it's a shame we have to have exams. I remember all through university this weighty pressure of the upcoming exams looming over me which is very stifling for the growth mindset because I felt I had to not just understand things, but understand them now! Thanks for sharing your journey through this Simon, can relate :)
Exams are actually one of the best way of learning imo :)
But in the judging context they can be quite stressful
have you seen any images of Quantum field(example:photon-field,up-quark field) if so then plzz send me one ,i have been searching for it for months and still not able to find it ,the closest thing i got is this video @1:30 th-cam.com/video/1qJ0o4U63aw/w-d-xo.html. There is an image it is called as Gluon-field(which is one of quantum field) other than that i am not able to find any other image(simulated or animated) image of quantum field,if you have one plzz send it
you don't have to have exams if you do a PhD in the UK at least lol
@@rafakowalewski8336 not everybody learns best with exams, and if you don't you're kinda screwed
@@cantcommute Every paper we submit is an exam :)
6:58 "_Really_ missed some very obvious signs". That's because it's not Physics. One just does not see.
The worst thing about university is that you sometimes feel like you pass the exams without understanding what's the true esence of the subjects you're studying...
The deep understanding, if It ever arrives, comes when you have time to read, investigate... by yourself.
And Simon is the living prove of it
Not to mention that you also sometimes feel like you fail the exams despite understanding what you think is a good amount of the subject.
Taking this as inspiration to conquer the physics topics I always struggled with
Classic mechanics...
have you seen any images of Quantum field(example:photon-field,up-quark field) if so then plzz send me one ,i have been searching for it for months and still not able to find it ,the closest thing i got is this video @1:30 th-cam.com/video/1qJ0o4U63aw/w-d-xo.html. There is an image it is called as Gluon-field(which is one of quantum field) other than that i am not able to find any other image(simulated or animated) image of quantum field,if you have one plzz send it
Why doesn’t Parth G have a checkmark?
Huge fan by the way Parth, I love the videos you make. I absolutely love physics.
Path gonna be crash dow be make sense of The dirac Equation
I wish students in every major would take seriously the importance of reviewing the material they haven’t been grasping.
I was crushed by a QFT course I took in grad school as well!! Every so often I think about revisiting it, but have never made the time.
Funny since you research vertex algebras (iirc) :)
@@Daniel-ih4zh I know right. My knowledge of the exact relation between VOAs and physics is a bit embarrassing. If anyone out there in physics youtube wants to make a video together, apart from general questions I have some very specific ones:
1. I wrote a paper about permutation orbifolds that ended up in the Journal of Mathematical Physics. What are orbifolds of VOAs supposedly describing physically.
2. I heard a physicist say that "Physicists are most interested in Affine VOAs (WZW models) at integral or admissible level". Why? What makes non-admissible level VOAs not physically interesting.
3. A big thing now is to carefully prove old physics conjectures about so-called W-algebras. Why are W-algebras physically interesting.
Anyway, I could go on and on.... If anyone is out there in the void!!
I am in a different field but it always annoyed me that I can't remember the critic components of alot of math. So decided to do some math for 4 weeks in the summer 2h a day. Hopefully it will just help me reorganize things in my mind.
@@MichaelPennMath Sounds like the kinds of questions that John Baez might know some of the answers to? Or at least know who to point you in the direction of for answers! (I used to be a regular reader of his “This Weeks Finds in Mathematical Physics” but my physics is pretty lapsed these days.)
@@MichaelPennMath the obvious answer to (2) is: "Renormalizability"
Quantum field theory is something I have always felt guilty about not understanding well, and I’ve been wanting to go back and learn it properly for many of the same reasons you mentioned. Thanks for making that point about mindset when learning, and just being nicer to yourself about not understanding something yet.
glad to know that the people we all look up to are just like us! you guys are truly inspiring!
I really recomend drinking some good black tea during studying amazing energy and no crash.
"My brain wasn't just accepting this information."
This is my favourite quote from now on for college learning.
congratz
Flammy
Hi daddy flamy
Papa flammy
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Thank you Simon, this is exactly what I needed to hear. As a current 5th year PhD student studying 2D semiconductor physics, there are so many days where I feel like I don't understand the fundamentals or wish I did better in a subject that I have learned years before. This is motivating me to give some of my challenging subjects a new shot with a more optimistic viewpoint and try to commit to a more manageable timeframe!
Great work as always!
It's such a relief to know that I am not the only physics grad student who feels this way. I am a 3rd year PhD student working on 2D materials and I often worry that I am missing some fundamental knowledge that is going to keep me from being able to succeed at my research.
@@brady1123 more than anything else, my PhD has excelled at making me feel stupid.
5th year PhD student here, too. Thanks for the motivation to revisit fundamental concepts!
If you don’t understand then if nothing else, you’re in good company. Feynman didn’t as well. Hence the shut up and calculate motto. Cheers.
Don't worry guys, I've known plenty of people with a lesser grasp of physics than I have, and they have far more successful careers. Not everyone can be a rock star, there is plenty of room of solid sessions players.
8:17 11:56 This hit home very hard for me.
I'm an Italian math student, finally finishing my Master degree with ABYSMAL delay. Been in and out of burnout for three years straight by now, and I really can't help but seeing myself in the same exact position as you described yourself in some of your videos.
I always wanted to pursue a PhD and an academic career, but I think the moment has come for me to finally tackle my mental health issues, maybe take a gap year, and set my priorities straight.
I think that your videos had a HUGE (positive) impact on me, and I'll be forever grateful for this. Thank you Simon, sincerely.
Studying a master degree in maths is already such a great achievement that you can be proud of! There's nothing more important than a peaceful mind, I hope you have self-compassion and get better soon!🌸♥️
I studied Physics and Maths at UCL and I struggled with mental health immensely for a long time (even before I started studying at university). It's a really great idea to go back and make this video and I know how it can be a really dark and awful period. One of the worst things about mental health is that you really internalize the negative filter, you funnel all of your daily life through. In my situation even after graduating with a 1st. I still felt disappointed and that should've been a red flag as to how bad it was. But, it really does get better.
As someone who had improperly managed ADHD and mental health issues that led me to drop out 7 years ago, it took me failing classes during a pandemic to finally learn self compassion. But I'm finally doing the things I've been wanting passing classes even while working. It turns out self compassion was the pre-requisite I needed to allow myself to explore unique and strange studying habits that actually work for me.
It's weird, but charles bukowski keeps coming to my mind lately- "Don't Try."
Setting a timer for 4 years to see how I'm doing in Law School.
@@NinjaAgnostic I'm glad to hear things have improved.
I just want to say congratulations, it seems like you're doing better with accepting your achievements for what they are but I thought you deserved to hear that.
Also I'm a first year at ucl doing physics and if it's not too personal could you tell me what you're working as now, if you are working as now. If you got your job through an internship. Idk I'm just interested in what I could possibly go into a couple years from now
@@temiolu3049 Thanks and best of luck with your degree.
I'm a graduate student but if you need help with career-related stuff, UCL careers is very good. They should have sent out emails to every student.
@@andrewwells6323 thank you, I'll be sure to check it out
I love that you're still drinking Coke while studying, it reminds me of the Coke mountain that you cleaned up at the end of your PhD. You really need to get a sponsorship from them! Also, I haven't commented on one of your videos in a while, but I wanted to say that I starting watching your videos when I was applying to PhDs a few years ago and I watched all the way through your coding struggles which mirrored my own. Anyway, I'm pleased to say that also like you I came out unscathed, and as of February 2021, am a doctor in cosmology :) Thanks for everything, Simon, you have inspired me so much :)
I've heard writing goes faster if you consume Coke nasally vs orally.
@@TheDeltaboss I’ve had good results with anally :)
I was told by some nutritionist lecturer that diet coke is neurotoxic.
It also creates a horrible allergy where I keep swallowing snot.
The company also organizes lectures to humiliate and abuse European employees for their race.
I get it but Christiano Ronaldo is right. Stay away from that garbage.
I won the university medal for my studies in theoretical physics. The only time I was brought to tears was walking into my supervisor’s office and admitting I couldn’t get QFT. He graciously changed my thesis topic to Schrödinger.
28 years later my own daughter’s supervisor had that very same office.
Did you go to Tcd?
"He graciously changed my thesis topic to Schrödinger." Excuse me for asking, but what do you mean? That you had a thesis on only pure (nonrelativistic) QM without QFT? If so, what topic? I am simply interested, don't take this invasjon personal :).
This video has really inspired me to tackle my nemisis of Functional analysis from my third year! Like you, my mental health was through the floor, I just wasn't in the right mental space to take on this sort of knowledge. Now that I have started my PhD, and looking back at old notes, I feel that I am now in a position to tackle this again! Thank you for the inspiration Simon!
This is such a treasure, I have a brilliant friend in mathematics who has been feeling down in a rut and I'll point her to this!
Optics was always my demon in undergrad - the only class I ever failed! I’m now halfway through a PhD in imaging optics in my effort’s to truly conquer it
Thanks for sharing the journey!
I can recommend the QFT book by Peskin & Schroeder ("An Introduction to Quantum Field Theory"). The exercises at the end of each chapter have a very nice flow.
It was a great watch! Thanks for sharing your journey.
This is weirdly motivating. Thanks for sharing your story!
Great job on this video, Simon.
Man, I wish I had the time to start conquering my own Everest after University. It's totally different to study those difficult subjects at your own pace without the pressure of deadlines, projects and exams.
Great inspirational video AGAIN!
This was very moving - I’ve really enjoyed seeing your journey over the years. Thank you for taking us with you
Really great and honest video. Thank you for sharing :)
I have been watching you since you first started making videos. Thank you so much for the helpful and inspiring content
I didnt understand any of the physics you talked about, but I agree, the mindset is soo important! Too many struggle with this! Thank you, I really needed this!
Great video! Keep spreading academic inspiration across this platform -love your work!
Simon u r my inspiration! Whenver I feel low I just watch ur videos.
I'm just a freshman in physics but I will definitely rewatch this in my senior year.
Thank you for sharing with us.
Loved the end of this video. Contrasting the two mindsets. I've subscribed
It is crazy how much your videos motivate me to study and learn. It's especially crazy considering the first 22 years of my life I despised school and reading, but I am glad I found a new appreciation for it. I'll definitely be tuning into those streams where you just work when my next grad school classes start. Thanks for your content!
I love this so much. It's so rare to see someone just enjoy an intellectual challenge on platforms like youtube! I think seeing someone else doing it makes it feel more doable for yourself. Thanks for making this vid :)
I love your study videos with direct references to the subject matter. Look forward more inspiring videos like this !!! :)
Great video, valuable insights
Simon! HUGE thank you for you for motivating me for 8 years through my high school studies and in my university studies as well! Thank you for making your content, your passion for learning is contagious!! Keep doing what you love!!
Honestly Simon, every time you bring out a video you always inspire me to learn more.
It was so inspirational. Thank you.
I am loving reading through the comments - it's so reassuring to see so many of us who can relate with the feelings expressed in this video and, as someone with imposter syndrome (as is common in academia), this is really needed to be openly spoken about as well as how one can healthily confront their past struggles, thank you !
Thank you, really appreciate this video😊
We all have our nemesis with what we study. Your fresh perspective on your struggles has helped me and I think this video could be helpful and inspiring to all students regardless of the subject they are studying. Thank you for sharing your experience.
This video came in good time. I've been struggling with a couple courses I've been self-studying and have just started my Quantum Physics course, all while believing the reason for my failure was due to my lack of intellect.
Thanks to this, I now understand what it is I must do to better myself. Thank you so much for posting this video!
Thanks for sharing your experience!
I really desperately needed this video, I really struggle with not getting down on myself when I don’t understand something in physics , and your message about self compassion really resonated with me. I feel confident that I can be a little nicer to myself in the future , and enjoy learning for the sake of learning - that sensation of feeling your brain making those new connections on a difficult topic really is amazing and worth the effort.
Simon, I´ve been living this kind of situation in my life. I was a good student in my uni years, but I didn´t believe I was not good enough. This video helped me alot. Thank you!
I love this video! As an astrophysics student it happens too often that I make notes, consume knowledge, make an exam and in the end do not at all remember or understand anything I did in the course (even if I passed the exam, which I almost always do with a minimal score), even when afterwards it was fun and interesting. This is a difficult hurdle to get over but really worth the effort.
Such an excellent video!! The way you described learning really resonated with me and it’s probably the main reason why I’m a teacher.
Definitely going to spend some of my summer this year revisiting topics across science to help my teaching practice.
What a wonderful conclusion- self compassion! So important.
A wonderful video. It's so lovely seeing someone express how they love learning (and the actual act of studying). I always felt kind of weird saying how much I missed it about my years at university. I feel like getting my head stuck into some real problems now lol. Keep up the great work!
This is a fab video, QFT also took me down in my masters and I'm feeling like I can have another go at this subject now :)
“I really missed some very obvious signs” I really felt that
Great video, Simon. It has actually inspired me to go back and take on digital signal processing, a subject that for whatever reason (most likely mental health) my brain just outright refussed to learn or understand.
That's such an inspiring video!
Fantastic insights into learning, a great video!
This made me oddly nostalgic for my own university days. Well done!
Wow! I feel the same way about some math classes I took during undergrad: intro to proofs, group theory, and real analysis. I never felt comfortable with proofs, and that led me to failure in group theory and analysis. But seeing you tackle QFT had helped given me renewed motivation to relearn those subjects until I'm satisfied. Thanks Simon!
Fascinating to hear your personal story with QFT. great video
6:53
An absolute classic!
i loled so hard at 7:00 “i missed some obvious signs”
I have no real clue what you're talking about, but I'm still loving every second of it!
Thank you for recommending notion! I just transferred all my notes over, since I really like using the program.
I also struggled immensely with QFT during my PhD and it's still a bookshelf demon for me. Thank you for sharing this experience -- I think this a lesson in self-compassion that we all can benefit from. 😌
This video is like a wake up call for me. I think I'll put some effort into a very similar project soon. Seeing you grapple with this "over the course of ... 9 years now??" is extremely motivating.
Amazing video Simon, and thankyou for sharing.
I had QFT and GR this year (7th sem of my undergrad) and got hit by covid in exam week. I wasn't doing well with my mental health as it was.
I did horribly, it was an absolute nightmare. The stuff I knew, also won't make any sense on the day.
I also plan on revisiting the material and doing better in both. This video helped a lot on clarifying and organizing my thoughts about the whole experience and also motivating me to get on with it now that I have time on my hand.
This is a really useful video. Thank you.
That moment around 8:30. I'm still tearing up thinking about it and my similar years in my PhD.
Man. Those times.
this was unexpectedly captivating, I just wanted to take a quick look, but watched the whole thing, thank you for sharing with us!
Haha Simon is just another nerd who missed the obvious signs of a girl with a crush on him
We all have been there
This is a really cool video. It helped me to put some of my own failures at University into perspective.
I had Zee as a professor, and man, it was quite an experience. This has actually inspired me to go through some of my old notes/books and look at things outside of the lens of having exams and a time crunch. I love how so many of us are unified over this video and QFT haha
Thank you very much for you video ! I'm starting right now a master project in QFT, but I find the subject so hard that I procrastinate a lot to start studying... Listening to you saying that this moment of my life is so valuable because I can spend all the day improving my understanding of this fascinating subject, totally changed my perspective ! I will stop complaining about the difficulty and just embrace the complexity of the subject, tacking the time it needs in order to progress :)
Your love for learning is 🔥
Hi Simon, thanks for this absolute gem! I'm a long time follower of the channel
Great video, i'd love to learn more about the way you learn. for example the way you take notes :)
I found learning QFT from the condensed matter perspective helped me a lot when I went to learn QFT for particle physics; learning the conceptual stuff for things you can easily measure helped with the intuition
Good on you for making this video, I think the positive example you set here will help many people who emulate this forwards focused attitude.
Thank you for sharing this!
On the one hand, I feel like I still sometimes struggle with being compassionate with myself for not doing well at something. On the other hand, I don't think I've ever put nearly as much work into notes or anything when studying something, so I feel like calling myself lazy is kind of adequate.
Thank you for this video. I didn't understand most of it from the QFT stand-point, but as always you made it sound interesting and I still got to learn something new, even a little bit.
As for fighting your demons, I find your story relatable. I wish I could tell my younger self back in university that personal growth and subject maturatiy happens over time, and to put my ego aside.
Fantastic video Simon!
I really related to this. For a myriad of reasons I had a similar academic collapse and it has been really hard to forgive myself for that. I spent a lot of time beating myself up over it. And I recently found my notes and papers I'd written during that time and I saw just how hard I had tried. For a lot of reasons I realised the right path for me was to remove the brick and then focus on replacing the house underneath. And it's been a journey. Listening to yours helped me see mine, again, in a more compassionate light. Thank you so much for sharing.
Great video, Simon!
Valuable piece of VIDEO!!! priceless
Really enjoyed this, thanks. A lot of this rung true for my experience doing physics at uni as well (not that I stuck around for 4th year) - tempted to get myself a copy of Shankar's Principles of QM and try and take that one down again!
4th semester undergrad here who just barely passed elctro dynamics. I think I'm gonna revisit some of the things in my mathematical methods course over the summer so huge thanks to ppl like you and Andrew Dotson for the motivation!
trying to get a proper grasp of QM now I'm doing my PhD, was always something I struggled with during UG. Thanks for the inspiration!
I had to take a break halfway through- whilst i’m not a physics student- or very good at being academic- this fascinates me. I also want to make sure this labour of love of yours has the live it deserves in return!
Simon, I still have this demon, nice to see and hear the story of someone that has overcome it, you've made me cry.
Learning QFT in my master right now. I can totally relate to what you are saying. Wish me luck.
Wow I have had a very similar experience around QFT. I still want to learn it even tho I have very little use for it in my current research. But it does haunt me. This video is a reassuring and motivating.
Dude, I have no idea why you like these things but I really like you talking about it lol. Been following you for a long while and you are the best, good job!
Very inspiring video! makes me want to go study now :)
Hi Simon, your story about QFT reminds me of my time in my masters program at Rice University (computational and applied math) and your reaction to your old notes was particularly jarring for me. My topic was advanced numerical algebra. I can’t agree enough with your observation that finishing your PhD changes how you conceptually link things. I ended up learning the subject matter taught in my masters course within about a month after deciding to do exactly what you decided with QFT, respectively. Thanks for the video!
What an accomplishment Simon!
The feels man. Went through the same thing with QFT.
I really got inspired by watching this. Hopefully I'm going to start studying history 2022/2023 (if I manage to graduate lol) and I will definitely be using your videos to help me! Thanks Dr. Simon Clark!
As someone who struggles with self-compassion, I really appreciate you talking about it. Thank you.
Hey Simon, this was a really great video. I was totally able to relate to your reaction at 8:31. In my second year of bachelor's, I really flunked a class on Griffiths' Electrodynamics. That semester was particularly hard, and I had started doubting my abilities. Only when I took an advanced course on ED later on, was I able to come to peace with my past self.
Anyway, glad to see you conquering your previous demons!
I've been on the fence over the last few days about going back to university to finally get my master's (physics) and this pushed me over the edge, perfect timing.
Great to see you surmounting -just to flaunt a fourth synonym- your demon! Thank you for sharing it.
As many others, I can also relate to this experience of yours. I think with the exams and stricter timelines, it really is impossible to let a certain subject marinate for longer periods of time and even if you had wanted to, you couldn't have done that during that 4th year.
Hopefully, doing this experiment and making this video helped you deal with the remnants :)
Finding myself studying QFT as part of my masters, I relate a lot to your experience
Amazing video as always Simon! True inspiration to physicists eveywhere!
PLEASE show us how your Notion page if possible!!!