Borderline Personality Disorder | POSITIVE Traits
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 มิ.ย. 2024
- We often talk about the signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder aka BPD that impede a person's life. However, there are positive traits of borderline personality disorder that many people don't talk about. While BPD symptoms should not be diminished and it's important to consider therapy and treatment-the positives that can come from having behaviors of borderline personality disorder should not get ignored-especially because it is so stigmatized.
There really are positive traits of borderline personality disorder: here they are, according to triple board-certified neuropsychologist, Dr. Judy Ho.
Here's MedCircle host Kyle Kittleson and Dr. Judy's conversation:
00:00 Intro
00:30 Why Dr Judy focuses on the positive traits of BPD
01:15 Why does BPD have a stigma?
02:16 "Personality traits are on a spectrum"
03:16 Positive trait 1: Increased empathy
06:23 Positive trait 2: Flexibility
08:15 Positive trait 3: Bolder in decision-making
09:58 "Positive traits can help treatment"
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#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #medcircle #psychology #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder
1.Increased empathy
2.Flexibility
3.Bolder decision making
Saved you 10 minutes and 30 seconds
Thanks, that was bold, flexible, and empathetic of you.
@@shornsheep3118 😂
@@shornsheep3118 🤣 yup, everyone is a damn expert huh
@@joan.nao1246 including you apparently ll
The bold decision-making has been the worst of the worst for me, always bad decisions that affects the course of my life negatively and make me live full of regrets...
starting very young
I suffered severe trauma several years ago, I was diagnosed with BPD. Spent my whole life fighting BPD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.
Hey mate! I have severe anxiety and depression and take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Belgium don't know much about these. I'm so glad they help you. Really need them too.
YES very sure of Dr.benfungi. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
I'm a writer. As a writer with BPD sometimes the passion the illness can bring can pull some brilliant content from my imagination. I also have a pure empathy with my characters. Also changing my personalities so much allows me to write diverse and complex characters.
The duality of bpd yields the most creative and exciting souls..
❤
same but then i get stuck in my head and can't write and think about writing which eventually forces me to write even if its crap. lol
Yes sensitive personality is always beautiful
All writer have sensitive
All the people I know with BPD are carers, nurses, therapists, spiritual, and animal & nature lovers. Their empathy and love is so deep, it truly does come with it a gift.
Thank you for the comment.
To bad they are scumbags in relationships
I’m sorry this is your experience. We are truly sad, and caring people. I get so sad when I see these comments she says about us.
All the people I know with BPD cant keep a job because of fights at workplace and are gifted with such deep love and empathy that they serially cheated on their partners or terrorized them with tantrums and traumatized their kids for life.
@@mr.fettesq.7705 mine with my boyfriend is stable, has been for the whole 3 years and we're still stable despite mine being severe. thanks for the fearmongering tho not like people like you make us look like monsters to even doctors or anything :) please go do something else other than spread misinformation on something you don't even have thank you
I think the abandonment issue is the fear of feeling the overwhelming grief of losing people and losing themselves because their boundaries have been demolished by the overwhelming needs of others who didn't care about their boundaries.
Yes exactly that is exactly how I feel so deeply the chronic shame and deep fear of abandonment
@meri.dilkidhadkan be good to yourself. Self care help you to heal.
this is very, very true
part of that is it can also turn in on themselves if someone "leaves" so severely it just demolishes their sense of self
I lost my beautiful, funny, creative daughter almost 3 yrs ago after her long-time boyfriend literally ran away and her rebound boyfriend wanted to distance himself from her. She'd also had a very recent abortion b4 rebound boyfriend wanted the break. This was all too much for her and she accidentally overdosed, leaving behind a devastated 13-yr old dtr and bereft mother, father and brother. This was all compounded by the isolation and loss of friends and employment during the covid lockdown. She tried therapy for the BPD, both individual and group (twice), but after covid she stopped seeing her therapist. We are still grieving, esp as the anniversary of her death and the holidays approach. Be good to yourself if you are suffering from a mental illness. Know that those who love and need you are just a call or a visit away and are more than willing to be there for you.❤
@@yvonnelee8464 NY heart goes out to you and your family.
As a diagnosed BPD patient, positive behavior we do have 1. We Care a lot, due to our sensitivity and emotional disorder we tend to see what others going through and tend to give a lot of emotional support and empathy. 2. We are very LOYAL because we are scared to abandoned and left alone.
How does loyalty and fear of abandonment work tho, when someone fears abandonment so much they end up leaving as soon as perceived sign of abandonment is felt. How is that being loyal hence commited to someone? My bpd ex partner has had lots of relationships. He left every single one of them abruptly. He sure considers himself loyal tho, I 'm just not sure how.
1. You care a lot, so you abuse people who show the slightest inconvenience or disagreement
2. You are loyal and therefore engage in risky behaviour with strangers and are known to cheat easily (I suppose being loyal to one rando at a time counts)
I am not loyal to anybody. However,l have a long-term friendship of over 30 years with a wonderful man. We are a bonded pair. We’re very much like brother and sister. The relationship is strictly platonic. I think that’s what makes it work because there’s no expectation of intimacy. Our love for each other is more of a spiritual bond that transcends any other type of relationship. I can’t describe it, but we don’t put each other on pedestals. I don’t think that he is without his problems. So I don’t put him on a pedestal. I care too much about him to do that.he’s not my favorite person because they say we have a favorite person. There are people I love if we don’t get along. We can’t be in the same room with each other but in a supportive capacity.
My fear of abandonment doesn't cause me anger or devaluation. I get sadder and kinder in fear of abandonment
Same. I have overpleased so much in my life. I try to be more mindful about that though.
My fear of abondonment even includes my animals. I haven't been diagnosed with bpd directly tho, i have personality disorder not further specified, but i do have many bpd traits according to my psychologist. but yeah same
@@goblin1226 I was diagnosed bipolar but doctors thinking ADHD maybe. but my mood changes quicker than most bipolar disorders do. So I think it might be BPD unfortunately but I really think I have it and knowing I might helps me a lot more with coping. Very common misdiagnosis between the two
I was abandoned by my parents and siblings when I was a teenager. I don't have BPD. I dated someone with it though and it was hell. I don't think she was abandoned but maybe so.
@@Bryan-nb1zv yes, they tend to get misdiagnosed a lot. Hope you'll find out what it is soon.
I live alone with BPD and I'm disabled due to diabetes neuropathy and fibromyalgia. I have lived on my own for almost 4 years. I function with everything very well. I'm very positive about life now.
Proud of you!
I, too, am alone with disabilities and I’m very happy 💕
This is so amazing to read. I hope you're doing well. ☺️
livin inspiration
Good on you and all the best to you.
Can we please have more conversations like this?! Now that mental health is becoming less taboo to discuss, we need more conversations about the positives and less negative finger pointing. When those who support us understand more about our value, in spite of our challenges, it helps them see the investment in learning about us as a whole person.
❤
There is no positive. All this bullshit about being able to love hard is nonsense, it's love bombing and they'll fall in love with anyone who gives them the slightest bit of attention. Their empathy is non-existent as they take everything to the extreme and DON'T understand what others feel. Bolder decision making means risky behaviour, like saying yes to drugs or unsafe sex.
i really get happy when i hear "empathy" on this video. Because sometimes i felt like i understand another's feelings like anybody cant do, i know everybody think they are empathic but we know, we has a another level of empathy, almost like our skin is transparent, we are feeling every mood changing around us. And it can be sometimes very hard like when so many troubled persons around you, you feel every feeling that they felt. So its good to hear that it's positive, from a professional's words.
Exactly. Similar to the sensory issues in autistic people, who might hear a train that is miles away long before anyone else in the room. The buzzing of an overhead light is aggravating. It is a gift that is seen as a symptom. Empathy (Jung pointed this out for introverts, so maybe there is a high rate of this problem for introverts) can have you seriously out of synch with what is going on at the group level. Having access to training to know how best to handle the gift is what is needed. Like little Hercules learning to manage his superhuman strength. Enough with the damned labels already.
I see it in her, I thought I felt deeply. It's no contest.
I thought I was a witch when I was a kid, looked into it when I was older and found I have bpd. And I am a cancer. The description of cancers is similar to what we suffer through with bpd 😅
No, you don't have extra empathy. Everyone has empathy. You just lack a sense of logic when it comes to interpreting others emotions
@@mycatsnameisdashwe aren’t born with empathy, believe it or not. It has to be taught so no, not everyone has empathy unfortunately!
As a non-BPD loved one, I can say my person has an immense capacity to connect to art. He can stand in front of a painting for hours and be totally
absorbed and touched in a way that seems quite magical and otherwordly. He is also gregarious at the beginning, and asks questions and is curious about people when he feels safe and relaxed. You could drop him anywherr with anyone and he will just start a conversation. It's really beautiful to see. I would say this is connected to BPD and the ability to feel deeply.
This describes my experience very well also. Thanks for pointing this out.
Very interesting! Im trying to figure out if I should get evaluated for BPD and this sounds a lot like me. Im wondering though, does he keep many long-term relationships? I make friends w everyone within minutes but then cant maintain a relationship for the life of me and idk if thats a me thing, a bpd thing or just the fact that I have kids and dont have the time to keep up w people. At this point I avoid having any friends whatsoever bc its always just a matter of time before I isolate myself anyway.
It’s so refreshing to see someone make a positive comment about their BPD loved one ❤ I’ve seen so many negative degrading comments out there. There are still good humans out there. Thank you for being one of them 😊
Sounds like love bombing to me. It’s a tad ott. And ‘charm’ is often associated with narcissism. I mean… standing in front of a painting for *hours*? Magical? Otherworldly? Have you put this person on some pedestal? He is gregarious “at the beginning”… When does he stop being gregarious? And the asking of lots of questions… narcissists do that to gain info about others without revealing info about themselves.
I gotta say OCD, BPD, NPD and CPTSD have a lot of overlapping symptoms. I can feel like I overreact sometimes but when I get angry or upset it’s because I feel invalidated. When someone tells you that you are too sensitive you get a confusing view of am I actually over sensitive or are they just unwilling to accept their behavior as hurtful you know
Yes
It all comes from trauma!!
@@breadgarlichouse You don't necessarily have to be traumatized to have OCD. And seriously what are those symptoms that overlap between OCD and BPD ? They are completely different disorders that have separate symptoms and brain network abnormalities
@@iremu460 because every copes different with traume
@@breadgarlichouse I repeat, you don't need trauma to have OCD. It is not always a trauma reaction.
Great Topic, As a mental health professional if I may say, what I have seen treating thousands of clients wiht mental illness. Many of them are in a gifted range, but due to Trauma, parental ignorance, the rigidity of the system, need to fit in the norm, many of them see a need to hide, and are ripped off of their self-esteem, hence leading to depression, anxiety, etc.,
I agree. I have been diagnosed with BPD and I have never felt that my personality was dangerous to others or manipulative. Yes I've struggled through many of the symptoms of BPD. I feel like everyone struggles with something in their life. I've also felt that I wish more people were empathetic like me because it would make the world a better place. I feel like a lot of "so called-mental illness" is just people being different from what our society deems acceptable. Which frankly, to me seems to be a worse and worse selfish person that is uncaring for their fellow human being.
This has been so good for my self esteem. I've never heard of anyone saying anything positive about BPD.
What a good idea to look at positive traits of a disorder. You are so often in pain because youre told that everything about you is wrong. What a rush of empowerment and relief and it gives energy to be mindfull about alarming signs in the bad times. ❤
Dont give up allright?
At the end of the day we all are made up of "good" and "bad". No one is 100% good and no one is 100% "normal". Some people are naturally better at or quickly learn how to organize or even hide their mental/emotional clutter. Many children are taught these skills when they were young while others had to learn these skills on their own. At the end of the day what counts the most is that we are still learning how to play our best hand with the cards we have been dealt!
So true ❤
This clip was so much needed. I was diagnosed in 2014 at the age of 39 after a misdiagnosis for 15 years. 9 years ago I was at my worst, several SI attempts ets, BPD cost me so much in relation to my marriage, my home, my career etc. after intense ongoing therapy 9 years later I am I different person, yes I still have the traits but they are no where near as intense and I am able to identify things like if I’m splitting etc. My stressors and dramatically reduced and I’m not triggered as much. I have so much to give and I am proud of who I’m becoming. Thankyou so much for this video.
STAY STRONG!!! Undiagnosed BPD here (going in for diagnosis soon) I struggled so much with mine through my teens and it was tough- Still struggling with mine but a far better person in relationships and eventually will be able to work and drive! Keep going, you're doing so well! You got this!
@@Xand3rCha0s360 I am so happy for you and many many congratulations from my end. It’s interesting with the driving thing. It’s one of the reasons why I’m not actively driving because I am. I’ve been concerned for years about the impulsivity. However, my therapist and I are planning to come up with a driving strategy so that if I’m feeling rough in a certain way that I kinda do a checklist. I wish I could develop such an app for the phone just to calm down and stuff before I drive but I think that I am going to do some DBT around driving just so that I can be safe on the road and ensure that I’m safe as well as the other drivers are safe because the last thing I want to do is be in an emotional upheaval and acute meltdown and then would never do that anyway, but I do not wanna ever put anybody else at risk because people deserve to feel safe on the road
I am so happy for you and excited to hear your progress. Keep up the great work.
Yay 😁 stay strong borderlines. We are special don’t hate yourself. Love yourself and know your fire 🔥 is strong. Just don’t burn yourself. We are good at that. Because we are perfectionists and too hard on ourselves. We are empaths. So have some empathy for yourself too ❤
@@Keepingitfr do you have a lot of 12th house in your natal chart? Im thinking I’m borderline. Libra sun Aries moon sag ascendant with a stellium of Scorpio in 12th.
Ty means a lot
@@Pinkcandy777 🍋 🙏
I’m struggling with my BPD so I really appreciate reading this. ❤ Thank you! “Taking a deep breath”
@@deedeejones3188 😎 let’s stay strong. It can feel overwhelming but only if we pay attention to it, and thinking that we will be this way forever we won’t! I’m doing DBT THERAPY soon just getting my life together as of now, new apartment and such, but hang in there! Love you !! ❤️
Love this. These positive traits are what makes me so attracted to my partner. Reinforcing the positive helps bring hope to become more grounded during the harder times
Agreed! I’m likewise attracted to my partner for all of these reasons and more👏🙌
For the harder times just walk away
I have bpd and no therapist for it. These videos are a big help. Thank you for making public content like this.
I absolutely loved this. I would love to see this done for every mental illness.
My heightened sense of empathy negatively impacts my life constantly.. but at the same time it’s what I love most about myself.
I could have written this 🙌
Same ❤️
Bpd is very treatable. But I think its a result of long term chronic distress. It overlaps with CPTSD.
I was diagnosed with borderline about a year or so ago but it had been suspected for a while but because of my age they waited to diagnose and all throughout my life iv been told i have an excessive amount of empathy but its always episodic. If im happy with you its like my mood depends on you and how your feeling but as soon as something happens and i get mad at someone all of it disappears and i say and do the most terrible things to people i can think of and wont think twice about it. it gives me a headache sometimes constantly flip flopping back and forth between infatuation and wanting to spend my life with someone and hating everything about them and wanting to hurt them physically and mentally
Jesus your maker CAN heal!Watch Randy Kay on you tube!Be blessed and saved!
⁶
This is why this overlaps with narcissism.
I've been on the receiving end of the flip flopping and I started to wonder at one point was all the gushing and what seemed like empathy, a form of fawning, a covert manipulation, probably subconscious and then when the bpd sufferer feels in doubt about the person the rage grows because they've done all this beautiful stuff... and now this!!!
Ypu people deserve nothing short of indifference and loneliness. Those abusive traits u have trumps anything good about you. Making you horrible. People with BPD should be alone and will always inevitably be alone because of their abususive ways.
Your "splittng" causes real harm and pain. Pain that should be reflects on you. You deserve that pain. Your partners don't and they deserve better. A lot better then you
I just found out a couple of months ago about BPD through a friend. It sounded like me. So I researched online and found these videos. I hadn't been in therapy for my depression anxiety and PTSD since before the pandemic and my life has been falling apart. I haven't had a steady job for more than a year in decades. So I scheduled an appointment with the VA psychiatrist and she said I more than qualified as BPD. I had my first appointment last week with a BPD specialist and am so excited to start DBT. I'm 56 and I have hope again. This is spot on. At 40 I went back to school and I started singing theatre and Opera. I started my dream of singing professionally for local opera companies two years ago and that fell apart this year. Mostly due to attendance inconsistency, procrastination and memorizing lyrics. I don't know if those are BPD issues but it causes so much stress in my life. Anyway, I digress. When I started contemplating suicide again I knew I needed help. Even with only 1 session last week I feel like I can conquer the world. Not sure how long that will last as I have huge highs and huge lows. But these positive traits have been very helpful in my life as a military medic, as an actor and as a singer. They are my superpower 💪. I would like a good online and or local BPD community because the group therapy at the VA will probably be 6 months before they start a new one. Any recommendations please? 😊Oh and thanks to MedCircle for these videos. They have helped me get my diagnosis and have hope again. I live you guys and have a huge man crush on the interviewer ❤😂😊
Congratulations! 🫂The subreddit r/BPD can be pretty nice; I've dropped by there a bunch of times because I think AvPD has a lot of sensitivity-overlap with BPD. I've so far never met somebody with BPD that I didn't connect with, possibly due to the fact that C-PTSD is such a link between people with PDs.
Hello, I've been diagnosed 6 years ago, probably had been for longer. It is so refreshing to finally hear all this. All these traits I have, and in positive periods in my life have been sooo helpful and really well received by others. This video really made my day... Alcohol and drug abuse have certainly been detrimental to my life, but these traits have definitely helped a lot!
Found out rather late in life what made my mom the way she is…post stroke she went from high functioning BPD to struggling and her neuro psychiatrist put a name to it and suddenly 50 years of anger and drama made more sense. I’m 60 and finally have been able to sort through my baggage and understand the many ways that BPD tendencies affected me…why I’ve always been single and why dating was always such a challenge or the root cause of much of my anxiety and depression. I really appreciated this video because sometimes the brokenness I feel makes me sad. Empathy, flexibility and bold decision making have been key aspects of my strength. It’s very helpful to see how this is the upside of my growing up in the shadow of BPD and absorbing many of the tendencies. To the nay sayers, you are focusing on the extreme examples and dealing with those individuals is beyond challenging. What is missed by you all are the many many folks dealing with BPD that you are simply not aware of because most of our struggles are internal. Imagine forming your opinion of drinkers solely based on the presentation of severe alcoholics, because their behavior stands out so much more…that’s not a perfect analogy, but you can get my drift.
Omg... I needed SO MUCH this video right now. When I stopped being afraid to look at the symptoms of BPD, even though I had been already diagnosed, I never came across a video talking about the bright side of having this disorder. I was hating myself today all day long because I knew for a fact that I could handle a situation on a way better and healthy way, but I just couldn't take off of my chest that DEEPLY SADNESS that a "little" trigger made me feel.
I had two-year relationship with a young lady who has BPD. The time I spent with her and will forever be the most important and most transformative experiences of my life. While it was some kind of crazy roller coaster. I will never ever feel a connection to a person the way I felt her again and I don’t want . She had ways of teaching about life that nobody else could. It really led me to experience the full spectrum of being a human. The downs of the relationship incredibly painful and low. But the high made it worth it. Both of us were Pisces… We had a connection they were so deep we barely had to verbally speak to each other. Connection often felt euphoric like a drug. Not only we could see this, but the people around us also could see our connection we were eventually moved to another state together in which we would sign a lease and she would leave me a month later without notice. Gone. We eventually did talk again, but she was done.. she knew just to be a good thing for me and she was right leaving was a good thing, but I will forever embrace the time we spent together and nothing will ever replace it
I Think we are stigmatised as bad, because we sensed other’s emotions clearer than our own. And can easy activate the therapist own shadow sides. So you have to be extremely aware of your own self, to be in a healing position towards a person with borderline personality disorders ❤
Thank you 🙏❤️
YES!!
It's stigmatised because some of you are bad. Some of you are great people, but let's not pretend that there's not alot of people with bpd abusing people.
It’s always your own responsibility to heal. But a therapist has the ‘setting’ to clearly show that is yours and what is the therapist. So only if the therapist has enough courage to see her/ his own shadow, can the healing process. Or buildings of new trust in relationships. To hate borderlines is so easy, but to understand why you hate us/them is you key to understanding you self deeply.
Actually there are no bad people in the world, there are people that has strong convictions that leads them to do bad actions.
@@HillbillyYEEHAA you have to allow someone to abuse you to be abused. I don’t mean this in a provocative manner, but unless someone has a gun to your head, you are free to leave them behind 🙏🏻
As a person would be BPD, this really made me feel better. I never realized that my pulse tivity lives have boldness, my being in tune with my emotions led to increased empathy other positive straight. I appreciate you going through this because it really has helped me and encouraged me in my journey through BPD.
Except BPD people aren't in tune with their emotions. Not even close!
Amazing. Thank you so much for making this content. Was bit nervous to watch it first after seeing one-sided/low quality BPD related content on yt honestly speaking (from channels other than this). You guys seem to never dissapoint when it comes to this, even very complex subject matters you seem to nail and you leave us feeling de-stigmatized. Perhaps people can become opening up to seeing the disorder much more wider and realisticly. This would not only help people with the disorder but the people who suffer along; people can not accept what they do not understand about this illness. If they dont, they will never have full awareness of what they are disclosing as "untreatable". This made me very happy
I recently entered the mental health field and have been surprised at how many clinicians are still stigmatizing BPD to the extent that they do. Thank you so much for putting this out there. It means so much for so many people.
What's ironic is they are not as "normal" as they like to think they are! Lol
As someone who has BPD thanks for doing this video cause all my life I've been judged negative and lost people or had them walk away without trying when getting to know them.
But the one's who do know that I am really empathetic and caring and a extremely loyal and honest and trustworthy person I just have really bad sides like everyone else but at least I have a real reason for some of my behaviour.
Some people are just Dicks without a diagnosis ❤
Thank you very much for this precious information. I was searching hours on TH-cam to find some tools to deal with BPS. I was diagnosed 1.5 years ago but seemingly having it nearly my whole life. In the past I unconsciously accepted the challenges with my condition & learned to deal with it & to appreciate them. Till life gets too rough & my PTDS gave the whole story steroids. I‘m struggling know with the stigmatization by myself I have to admit, since I’m very lucky having very gorgeous, supportive friends. To bring it to an end - your video is soulhoney for me & aspiration to shift my story once again in a positive direction & vibe. Thank you from the buttom of my heart ❤
Presenting the positive aspects of autism would be greatly appreciated.
I am neurodivergent along with two of my kids.
It’s very healing to hear these conversations. Thank you!
When I was studying social work in college I focused on strength based work.
I find labeling to be so limiting. Human beings are complex and we all operate on a spectrum.
I love this presentation. Thank you so much!
I love this. Every person deserves the empathy, compassion, and connection with at least one person who wants the best for them. As a counsellor my focus is positive psychology and strengths-based help, so this interview has really made my day 🙂 Thank you.
Love this shift, it is vital to know the dangers but also, recognizing how channeling positively this troubling hardhips can turn into flourishing traits. I feel like we will fluctuate as in, the negatives always being present, but we can manage it and this new paradigm where we see beyond the dangers, seems to me, like the right way to go. Truly loved this
I have been suffering from BPD my whole life. Recently, I tried microdosing with psilocybin. It has changed my life. No more death ideation, no more dysmorphia anxiety or depression and I don't eat compulsively anymore. I get it online
Thank you for this glimmer of hope...I have been looking for something that identifies the positive things about these conditions. In framing these things in the way you presented I felt like this was something to help identify where on the scale I was feeling at a particular moment. Please do more and thank you.
Seeing any of the symptoms with greater dimensions will be helpful. I have a dear friend with BPD whose 'impulsivity' was virtually always a positive force. So much so that I re-named it 'enthusiastic spontaneity'. I imagine it caused problems for him at some junctures in his life but the effect on me was always refreshing and delightful. He was a great influence!
Thank you for your comment. Perfect example of when we can use different words in this crazy English language to put a healthier slant on an otherwise defeated negative stigma
This is such a great video. So needed.
My ex husband has BPD and although he can be very difficult (& honestly scary sometimes) ... he also has many good traits.
I'm not sure if you're both aware of the impact videos like this can have in neurodivergent people's lives. I really, really appreciate this. Especial thank you to Dr. Ho. Really, really mind-blowing what you said.
thank your these kind of videos. Sometimes is so hard not to blame all the bad things around me to my bpd... now i can think of the positivity i give to the world
Thank you for saying that we have something positive to contribute! ❤
LOVE THIS!!! I read an article on Medium a few months ago about the positive aspects of autism and it changed my life by giving me a new approach to my 'problematic' behaviors. It's not about eliminating the symptom, it's retraining adaption! I think this is the genius of trauma work, you do this because it helped you, now it doesn't so lets do something different. No shame, just retraining, reshaping, adjusting, and accommodating. My dad has OCD and turned it into a highly successful career as a forensic accountant! My autism balanced my cPTSD and helped me persist through a TBI and complete my PhD. How do we harness the limitation for the good? By first realizing it is not a limitation, just a tool we didn't know now to use or didn't know we had.
Truth 👍
Autistic people aren’t defined by the abuse they inflict on others.
Thank you for sharing, Amy! Very helpful 😁
Congratulations on working your wonderful brain! xo
That's wonderful! 😊
I have only watched half of this, but just half to say I Love this conversation and Thank-you!!! You should continue with this as a series😊
I need this Doctor, this video has done something to me internally..i cant explain but i feel validated!!! Thank you Dr Ho and Med Circle...you are my therapy!!! ❤
I absolutely love this! And is 💯 accurate as a person who has been diagnosed with BPD! I have excelled in a career that I had no schooling and in the beginning new nothing about! And I have worked my way up the ladder naturally as a Behavioural Interventionist and Community Support Worker because of my empathy of individuals, many non verbal, with special needs or on the autistic spectrum and enhancing the quality of their lives in a huge way, which does not make what I do a job to me and leaves me feeling so rewarded in so many different aspects. Thank you so much for sharing this🙌🥰💝
You are one of the lucky ones. I'm so happy for you. Stay True!!!❤❤
A strengths based perspective is soooooo motivating and empowering. Please do more of these!
I love this. These are def all positives for me. When I got diagnosed with BPD officially these are some things that I noticed about me before the diagnosis that went hand in hand with some of the worst symptoms of it. This is great for them to do
I appreciate positive information, about a disorder that overshadowed, my entire life. My mother who has BPD, and other mental illnesses, was a person, who made very good impressions, on many people. She was a physical therapist, who cared for the elderly. She loved them, and had very intense grief, when they would pass away. After she retired, she no longer had purpose, and turned to alcohol. There were many terrible life experiences, with her disorders, but I could always say that she was a good person, with amazing empathy.
Thanks so much for the video. My god, I’ve felt so overwhelmed lately, and it’s good to see the flip side ❤
Once I became "self aware" of my actions and thoughts and started thinking about thinking in a sense it has allowed for less impulsive reactions and sometimes me just literally doing the opposite of my first instinct in some cases. For example walking away from a fight took me 34 years but I finally turned the cheek and it felt both disgusting and great at the same time. Having been told way back by my a school counselor I'm broken beyond repair I find turning the cheek a significant win. Never actually said that out loud
Dr.Judy, thank you for making this. BPD has such a stigma around it and is looked down on . Everyone is different and shouldn't be stereotyped. I have BPD and am not dangerous or inherently toxic, and I never tell people I have it. I believe a great deal of us take out anger and negativity and direct it inward at ourselves , not outward at others and we suffer greatlt in silence .Great video .Anyone out there suffering from this, you are unique and awesome. Stay strong ! ❤
Thank you for focusing on positives, because we become what we focus on.
Thank you for posting this. All I've heard is horrible things about this disorder I'm fighting against right now.
As with any dis-ease, if you only hear doom & gloom that is where your focus lies but when we hear the positive sides, what treatments are effective, how you can learn new skills to support yourself, etc... That is where your focus will go!
@@earthmama9597 thank you for replying to my comments so much! I sincerely appreciate it.
love this. being diagnosed both shattered my world and explained SO MUCH. it meant I could learn why I did and felt what I did, which definitely helped w my self esteem. I love that you guys are looking at the positives. and I definitely know that the right people will want to learn to understand what people w BPD experience vs shame them for their overwhelming traits which has helped give me a standard to hold people to in order to keep them around 😅
I love Dr Judy Ho! She's so smart and warm and friendly.
This was such a great video. No true diagnosis over here but say “Im self-diagnosed OCD” all the time and while I’m watching this, my boyfriend is saying “Hey that sounds like me” while listening to BPD conversation and it’s not the first time he said that. This videos help with understanding a better approach to daily issues and differences.
What a beautiful way of reframing things. Thank you for this, it was so helpful for me. ❤
This video is a gift today. Thank you.
Dr. Judy Ho! I love her! I usually watch true crime shows with her in them and I love her compassion, and concise, explanations. What a funny coincidence that she's here explaining another topic I'm curious about.
I think I needed this video. I have so much self-stigma. Sitting here trying to heal and the research alone makes me feel horrible about myself.
As someone who is OCD and shows BPD traits, I'd say I'm flexible in trying new things bc my belief is you don't know if you dislike something unless you try it, sometimes multiple times (scientific method), but when it comes to work related things, I really like to plan ahead and have some structure to help.
Psychedelics is the answer to most severe anxiety and depression. The use of magic mushrooms completely helps one get over depression and makes you feel like yourself
Yes, doctor_mckenzie
Got psych's*
I made researches and found out that shrooms are very helpful, it has really helped to reduce anxiety and depression and some other mental health issues
@@Marksonfixedmatcheswow, where can I locate him, Is it on IG?
All the problems that these compounds can help solve, and the potential for peace they have.
@@geraldmiller5343Yeah, as doctor_mckenzie he has been my supplier for a year now
Excellent video 🤍 in reframing & focusing on the positive of really any mental disease or disorders. Thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you for this video. More positivist lenses are needed in the mental health field.
Such a healthy way of looking at these conditions.
This is SO good!!!
Really like the reframes
THANK YOU! holy shit I’m so tired of doctors on here only talk about the negative or try to identify the whole disorder as one thing or the other. I love that she said it’s on a spectrum, not everyone with bpd like myself has a lack of empathy like I’ve seen another doctor on here say who I won’t name that infuriated me. For people who don’t have this disorder to say things they know nothing about really irked me but this woman is putting an end to the stigma & not making it seem like we’re a monster from hell that everyone needs to stay away from.
this really made me feel more positive. thanks so much!
Thank you very much for your help understanding of ways to work with the "disablity" I have.
At least I am not bored 🙂👍❤️😊
Diagnosed w/ BPD, I have thought if there is no cure I might as well check out, it is an uncomfortable life. This video was very helpful. Thank you
It's such a godd thing to point out some positive aspects for once. (Although I think it is understandable that health issues tend to focus on the bad sides that one hopes to try to "fix"). ESPECIALLY about BPD, which is such a stigmatized condition (just as you said, even inside the health care system). My mother has BPD, and she really can be quite the handful, but I feel sorry for her too. In general, but also because of the "bad reputation" of her condition.
I have several mental health issues too, AVPD, some cluster b traits, and more. I know how the stigmatization feels too.
I never knew I had bpd until today, but always knew something was wrong, and previous therapy just categorized me as other things. But when I look at my teenage years for example, it's CLEAR AS DAY I had all the symptoms of bpd, but because of the time period I grew up in back in the 70s/80s, this information wasnt available, at least not that I'm aware of, and certainly not in "mainstream" conversations like we talk about it today. Now that I've learned how to decrease the negatives, and increase the positives of the symptoms of my disorder, my life experience has totally changed. But since I'd been living in total blindness to my condition this whole time, I was confused...I know my behaviour is WORLDS apart from where it was, but I STILL have all of these seemingly strange instances of what looked like covert narcissism, but not enough to where it fit my personality type. Now that I've found out what bpd is, it fits all of those other things that I was confused about before. Now my bpd symptoms fall into more of the "quiet bpd" range, where now those extreme and intense feelings are now kept internal, where I can alter them before they come out in maladaptive ways. Also, it's been beneficial in my creative projects. I'm an artist/painter, and looking at the body of my work, you wouldn't think it came from the same person. So now it's like I'm transferring the toxicity into something beautiful, or productive...I'm using it to my advantage now, instead of just reacting, and acting out.
As being a person with BPD I am extremely empathetic and truly overly loving and kind to people
My husband will always tell me I have a huge heart and in my happy days I’m just a warm lively person who just wants to feel free
So we both focus on doing things on a day by day basis and be in the moment to keep me having longer happier days
I have my episodes like today so we know and expect it to never be perfect
My dreams and insights are truly strong
My husband will say I’m very in depth on wanting to talk about anything and look at things with an open mind
Art is another way I deal and manage my BPD same for journaling
The more we can treat us as people and not a stigma the better off at further learning of this very intense disorder
THANK YOU!! I have always referred to my BPD as my special powers . And only negative I ever hear. There is a positive and it is empathy. I have been honored on sooo many occasions where people will just come up to me and let fly their life story. Friends, strangers on the bus, a lady waiting in line ahead of me at Disneyland. I don't know , there has to be some good that can come out of bad bpd
Really really great! I recently completed a MA, the asset perspective helped reorder my approach!
I believe my mother had BPD and at times , esp when i went through important stages/events of my life she was extremely empathetic and helpful, like when i went to the university, or married, or had my babies or when i moved into my new house. Other times she would explode out of no reason i felt was potent enough to trigger that reaction...
Now that she s gone, i cherish the times i felt her by my side.
I recently broke up with a woman that had very low self-esteem, yet was a very intelligent woman. It took me a long time to put it all together but in summary she suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
The predominant trait of this disorder is low self-esteem. A woman with BPD has been traumatized at some point(s) in her life and feels that she is worthless. To make herself feel worthy of a man she sex-bombs him as that is the only way she knows how to connect. In my case whenever we got together we would always have quite a bit to drink, and then had lots of sex. But her drinking became a problem. She became hyper-sexual, almost insatiable (I couldn't keep up), and it seemed to me that she did not care if it was me or some other guy. I had to help her after falling, hurting herself, and passing out many times. She would tell me that she was no good and that she didn't want 'this' (relationship). But I saw the good things in her, and wanted to help so I stayed with her, even through a panic attack that resulted in her going to the emergency room.
After long talks spanning over a year, she gradually opened up about childhood sexual abuse (CSA) when she was very young, by her father, which she cannot recall the exact details of, and being raped when she had just started HS. I tried to broach this subject with her many times and tried to get her to seek help but she refused telling me that I was not her husband or father so I couldn’t make her do anything. So I told her that I would no longer be dragged into her world of pain and broke up with her.
As someone with BPD thank you I do enjoy seeing the positive traits of my personality disorder.
Why are Borderlines so stigmatized? Change the name and you'll eliminate the hostility. It's simply about regulation, not some fictitious "line" that crosses over into insanity or an alien-something. Many "professionals" won't even get near understanding the true complexities of the situation, and they themselves have done more to drive so many into despair and self loathing. I have PTSD and even with that, the complete lack of understanding is astounding. For me, retraumatization by therapists has been worse than the precipitating event. I have yet to meet a therapist who didn't need a therapist more than me.
THANK YOU for this comment. It's about time that someone stands up to what they see and experience. Instead of seeing so many vulnerable people put their mental health providers on a pedestal. The mental health system can create dependency as well as life long impacts on a person's view of themselves. I also encountered abuse. I have so many experiences from which there is no justice for. I was lucky to meet a few really good people in it, that were role models to me. But the rest... were the creepiest controlling people who often were very wrong in their misdiagnosis and more. One day I hope to write a book about it all.
Nah def not the name, it’s more about what you will read online about all the bad experiences and the followed trauma that partners with Bpd persons had
Thank you for these positive insights
❤️
I was diagnosed with BPD, C-Ptsd, Mdd about 4yrs ago but had these traits all the way back to childhood I'm 51 yo male ( my birth mother has those traits - I was an adopted child ) , and I saw a psychologist fortnightly for 18 months & it worked wonders for me. But now as I'm getting more & more confident in who I am & my calling in life or my vision I'm becoming a Professional inventor, The BPD traits are now driving me forward, and the emotions are getting me more focused & driven, when before they shut me down,
Thank you for making this video. It’s nice to hear about the positive side of BPD for once. I actually have Borderline Personality Disorder.
Me too❤
Thank you for this. This has really helped!
BPD taught me not to rely on anyone. It was a dark discovery. But once I accepted that I seem to unlock doors of further development.
Thank you so much for doing this!
Wow. New Angle. I'm not a pessimist. People with problems should find ways out of the down side of what they suffer from. Great topic.
Thank you for this. I hope people read this instead of always hating on us. Yes, the flexibility. I never know what I want, so I’m always like “ whatever”.
Having a BPD daughter, mother in law and sister in law, I have seen first hand how difficult they have made things in various relationships. While my daughter has always been SYMPATHETIC, her sensitive empathetic side is rarely shown to people closest to her. While DBT has helped her immensely, she shows her anger/rage most often to me (a safe person?) And about 3 months into every romantic relationship- she tears her partners a new one at any excuse. While her positive sides are obviously in play in her public life, it breaks my heart that she so desperately wants a long term loving relationship, and consistently destroys every one she begins. Also, while she CAN be a bold decision maker, she is absolutely NOT flexible. She is very OCD when it comes to her plans, or not having things go accordingly. So, every person and every BPD person, is very unique- I will be looking for the positives, even while walking on eggshells!
I once talked with a psychiatrist and through half an hour she told me all the things that where wrong about me. After her speech of how miserable I am, I asked her if theres nothing good about me.
She said thats not my job to look at. End of conversation.
Well I am not that sick that I dont know how to use my middle finger.
Dont let all the negative stuff pull you down. Of course People with some kind of disorder have positive sides to them. Of course we have!!
Well its almost xmas and merry xmas every body and a fantastic new year with tons of positive self talk and more videoes like this ❤❤❤
Thank you so much, I needed this🙏🏾🖤
Sometimes it seems like i can feel how other ppl feel without them speaking about it
Very good. Job hopping was happening for a long time until I found what worked and it became a stable profession.
I think I can better understand other's moods, feelings, and mindset because I have lived so many emotions so many times, (sometimes moods & emotions that some people have never felt!) I can say I"I know how you feel " with honesty and sincerity and I think people sense that. Without BPD, I couldn't begin to understand the way someone else is feeling.
I liked this, this made me feel better. Thank you.
Thank you. I needed to hear this today.
I know I only speak for myself, but I was kinda relieved when I found out getting better doesnt mean getting rid of my BPD. Even with all the pain and suffering, I kinda like my BPD. It feels like a friend that I just need to learn how to interact with.
Thank you for this video I've been diagnosed with bpd by harbor UCLA and this is what I need to hear.