Thanks to Skylight for sponsoring a portion of this video! If you decide to splurge on their GORGEOUS 27 inch Skylight Calendar Max, you can get $50 off if you go to skylightcal.com/HOWTOADHD50 and use my code HOWTOADHD50! #skylightpartner
We already have a skylight calendar (not that giant one, though) on the wall at the bottom of the stairs, so we can see it every morning. It has been very helpful for our kids (even the one that doesn't have ADHD). I even added a new calendar specifically for our meal plan (and related shopping) so that meals show up as their own color (getting asked every day what was for dinner...twice, because the kids always asked separately...got very exhausting).
One thing I ended up doing last year - ask each family member what their most treasured/essential holiday experience is. It really helped me eliminate some of the stuff I thought we ‘had’ to do just because we’d always done it.
YESSSSSS. OMG YESSSSSSSS that's so important it's not just what's important to ourselves but, especially when celebrating with others, what is important to them as well. I love that so much!
Best ADHD Xmas tip we discovered: don’t wrap gifts in paper. Use nice drawstring bags. Wrapping a gift is like a dozen steps; drawstring is only about three. Keep them in the same box year round and put them straight back after and you don’t even have mess or the stress of throwing out stuff that triggers memories!
This is unrelated, but my mum who works at a library put the How to ADHD book on the recommend for purchase list after she looked at my copy. A couple of weeks ago she noticed one come through the returns chute!
Best ADHD holiday decision I ever made was to staunchly refuse to celebrate Christmas. I get no joy out of it, only stress, so for the last 12 years, Dec 25th has been a quiet day of personal reflection, and I absolutely love it.
Honestly I love this. I think at one point in time for a culture in the past somewhere, Christmas was a one-day event with some family time and some quiet reflection, and that was it. I think the melding of multiple cultural holidays into one behemoth and then adding consumerism to it has made it so much more stressful than it needs to be. Maybe a boycott is in order haha
@sir.636 everything in moderation. Rebalancing life in the face of an overblown holiday isn't sad. You can still make special moments, throw parties if you want, spend time with family. Taking away the expectation that everyone has to give extravagant gifts and attend copious overstimulating events isn't sad.
I hang tree-like garland and fairy lights near ceiling around most rooms, using 5lb command strips. Decorated or just as is- they add festive vibe without adding to our family "surface clutter" After holiday each room hits packed in own storage box, with physical notes in them for future me. ( ideas, suggestions ect) Room in own box is key in case future self has low energy some years, and I only have to unpack the appropriate box. ( instead of all boxes to look for the 4 items I want) The whole family contributed to this solution and we modify as needed. Thanks for your support of our brains!❤
I love this! I had the labeled clear bins and little diagrams to remember how we put up lights and whatnot, but the room-in-a-box is ingenious. Definitely going to try that 😁
That's a great idea... Instead of packing things sorted by item type, pack by room. Man I bet that really speeds things up. And I agree, it's always a good idea to take "future self" into consideration... We always have to deal with them eventually!
That's the same trick we use! I put stuff on the walls to make sure surfaces are clear. when we didn't have enough room for a tree, I got fairy lights that have clips on them and used command hooks to hang them in a "tree" pattern and clip Christmas cards to them so we had a spot to put presents under. Every year before Halloween I also make sure to empty our little tchochke shelves and replace the items with seasonal decor I have in the garage so that its very festive but doesn't get in the way.
My brain was saying “Yeeaahh… I’m just gonna wing it.” And then you mentioned time buckets. I think I can work with that. I did something similar planning my wedding years ago but didn’t have a name for it. Time buckets! Thank you.
I have a family that staunchly believes in the "no Christmas before Thanksgiving" rule, which helps me separate tasks into stuff I can do before December vs in December. Lord knows I'll be ready to put decor up on December 1st lol
I live in Canada, so not the same Thanksgiving time, but we also do “Christmas” in December (or last weekend of November, depending on the day it lands on). It’s also because we have a small home, so the tree and decor really take over, even though I enjoy them. I just keep it to December for my own (semi-) sanity 😜
My younger brother has a late birthday, so the rule in my house has always been that we can't decorate inside until after his birthday has passed (but we can do the outdoor lights if the weather is nice).
I have found leaving myself notes for next Xmas have really helped me. Like reminding myself that my husband isn't as bothered about decorating for Xmas so I remind myself I'm decorating for me and to not go overboard lol I also remind myself I can't make everyone's Xmas amazing, I'm only 1 human with a budget, I can't get 15 people £1000 presents or i will be insolvent lol Xmas is nice but it is one day, adjust your expectations accordingly
Danna K. White has a great Playlist on how to get your house ready for the hollidays/have guests at your house in 2 weeks (or just be able to take photos with having people move away from that messy corner over there) . She's my go to for decluttering with ADHD!
@HowtoADHD you make amazing content I love to watch your stuff. I actually sent some of your content to my therapist and she loves it and shows it to her ADHD patient and even her kids who her youngest has ADHD.
I've got to be completely honest, I start working on Christmas gifts in August. Well, actually, I start on Christmas itself. I listen and take notes from Dec. 25 to August 1st in an attempt to come up with ideas for what to get people as gifts. I start buying said gifts in August so I can get as much of the shopping done early so I have to stress about a smaller amount of gifts as the holiday approaches and I am able to get whatever I want because nothing is sold out yet. It also gives me time to attempt to figure out what to get the people I have absolutely no idea about. So, some things I can do really well, like buying gifts because I am excited about it and I love trying to find the perfect gift, while others can become really last minute (Putting up my tree on Dec. 22nd last year due to depression). I like the idea of actually incorporating a calendar into this mix so I can even things out.
I have a family of five... So much clutter and it isn't mine to toss. How do I get around it? Prepare one room beautifully and keep everyone there on the day. That way everything that should have left my house in order to be decluttered can make its way to the garage for a hot minute and it works very well. I call it finding pockets of beauty.
I really hope to see something about older people with ADHD. I know there are tons of us (like me) who went our first 50 years or so without diagnosis and even after you know, it's ongoing work to get things done and have self esteem. The rejection and criticism have built up over a lfetime. We also are awesome and I believe have a lot to contribute in terms of insight. I really hope for more inclusion in whatever "community" including yours. Thanks Jessica. Love your book.
Dear Jessica, I wish you the best Christmas ever. Maybe without a tree, decor or presents. (Just one single twig can make the spirit.) But with a healthy loved one and daughter, perhaps just watching tv. It's being together that counts. (I know everyone says this, but it took me some decades to believe it. Please learn faster than I did.) Merry winter time!
Good timing and reminder to start blocking out time now. I'm usually forget holidays, especially the small ones until it's too late. Like, I'd love to travel over a 3 day weekend by plane, but since I forget until my coworkers ask the Friday, I end up on a road trip and a crapy hotel or I'm just too tired to plan at that moment.
Could you guys maybe make a video on doing laundry with adhd? Laundry is one of the things I struggle with most because it just never seems to get done and I avoid putting clothes away.
When I lived at my parents' house, I did a LOT of laundry (many siblings & parents!) I would do it while watching t.v. ! I would start a load in the washer - which takes about 30 minutes - which was the time a t.v. show ran. So, when my program was over, I'ld pop down the basement, throw the wet clothes in the dryer & start a new load. And dry clothes went into a basket that I brought upstairs & folded as I watched the next show. It's also a free workout if you have stairs! Lol 😆 Now, as an adult, I have to do it at the laundromat. I either bring a book or knitting.
Carry a device (tablet or phone) with a program you like : movie, tv series, show, podcast, whatever would engage your brain into something that will give you the drive to do the laundry. It’s crazy how my body starts moving and doing stuff, almost like on its own accord, when I listen to an engaging podcast. Also, set timers on your device to help take to laundry out of the washing machine before it starts stinking (we know that’s a big problem, who would enjoy folding smelly laundry !). There’s one thing I haven’t sortes yet but it’s quite okay : I don’t have a tumble dryer so I hand laundry to dry. It’s always difficult to really plan when it’s going to be dry so I fold when I need to hang fresh out of the washing machine laundry. So laundry can stay hung for a veeeeeeery long time before it gets folded.
I aim to do one load of laundry per day...and my OCD husband folds it because otherwise i would just shove it in the drawers or hang it upa week later...but atleast its clean.
I always overcommit so I love the tip of deciding what’s important to me! My birthday is also on Christmas which just adds a whole ‘nother wrinkle into the mix
As I was watching this, I realized that it can be used for Any event, not just Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza, or New Year's. Thank you for this reminder.
Parents always bring a bag with stuff for their kid, e.g. favourite snack, plushy, snuffly favourite cloth, etc. Bring such a collection for yourself. Whatever soothes you and keeps you going. ❤
I've *somehow* already made all the Christmas presents for family, and it's November. Just now need to do the ones for friends, oh and all the cards, oh and friends birthdays, oh and...
I am peopled out right now for varied reasons. I’m skipping a “family” Thanksgiving in favor of a quiet day with just my husband. Plan to finish a good book I’ve been reading, staying in my pjs til I don’t want to, and only accepting text messages that I can reply to when I feel like it. There may be a nap or two involved. Not taking on stress on this holiday is paramount! See you at Christmas………maybe.
Heh, I think it's always some level of stressful but at least I hope this year we aren't burntout by it! Hope you have a burnout free holiday yourself!
What I do every year to circumvent the shopping nightmare is I start Christmas shopping in July, and with the urgency as if I were doing shopping in October-November (so not last minute, but keeping a steady pace of researching and buying gifts). It's takes a ton of stress off my chest in the actual Christmas season because then I only have to worry about scheduling and family stuff
Thank you for the reminder to look ahead and cancel what would overwhelm me weeks from now. It always surprises me when I realize how much I do out of obligation. I completely relate to not planning ahead for vacation and being left with limited options. For the first time ever, this year I planned a vacation in June that I took in September. I got a much more affordable flight, researched the area for many weeks, and had a beautiful time. It did help that I went alone 😊 so I didn't have to negotiate details. Vacationing alone is a gift to my ADHD, codependent brain
Oh my gosh! I’m only halfway through and I can’t believe how helpful this video is! Every single, I fall into the traps. How can it be that it never dawned on me to tackle it this way? I know to plan ahead, but I never had the strategies to actually do that.😂 Thanks so much for making this video. Looking forward to trying it out give myself plenty of grace, knowing my brain and inability to judge time.😊
I used to over commit to Christmas adult parties & meals as well as Christmas experiences for the children. I was out all week working then all weekend. I didnt enjoy the majority. Now we do LaplandUK with the children only & I may have 1 Christmas meal with my chosen friend's. I dont feel like im missing out. Im so happy to really enjoy just 1 thing. I save so much time, energy & money. I definitely do not feel guilty either now. I have got into the routine of saying no or I will see how I feel closer to the time. Everyone deserves to enjoy the holidays!
A way that helped me when I had my own house to decorate was to have spaces designated for decorations. I switch them out with a different holiday every season. I also try to Reduce, reuse, recycle as much as possible so I had totes organized in my garage. Lost a lot to Hurricane Laura.
I'm going to share this video with my friends. I love the time blocks idea. I haven't tried specific hours of the day to put on my to do list but it makes total sense!
Take your time with the list of the things you love, the brainstorm is part of the ideas part, and most ADHDers love it. ❤ Enjoy coming up with toms of ideas!
I have found the best way to have a stress free holiday is to pretend it isn't happening... well, I guess it is not the best way to do it... so, yeah. Whatever. Thanks for sharing. This was a great video.
Ah, yes, my oldest and most reliable coping mechanism, dissociation/shut-down/just no. It's frustratingly hard to stop doing, but it probably served its purpose in the past I guess.
Good advice! I am a software developer, and I started using a lot from the Agile Sprint method in my personal life. Basically, my family plans in 2 week increments and other things go to the backlog. It helps my brain a lot to not think, “I have a month before traveling”, but instead “I have 2 sprints to finish preparation and oh yeah I have a dentist appointment next week”. The bucket idea is also really helpful.
Thank you so much for the invitation to focus on being functional without ignoring my idealism. I often feel like those things are in conflict and you laid out a path for them to work together.
I also use an app called gift list. I can list everyone who I need to buy gifts for then can check off when I bought that gift and when I've wrapped it. It helps so much. I'm not having to remember what I've bought for who and wondering if I've forgotten anyone.
Love this! I definitely never thought of making up a list of to-do's for the holidays, let alone how much time each thing will take to do. You just saved me so much stress and time!!!❤❤🎄🎁
Thank you for this. I've recently (finally) been diagnosed, and holidays are so so hard to deal with. Here's to hoping this helps me not be up till 4am on Christmas Eve prepping!
Two of my children have birthdays on either side of Christmas. This time of year I start to PANIC. I do try to keep it minimal and ask people to help with the parts that are important to them. My middle child asked if we could just have a family celebration this year instead of a big party. He is my favorite now (kidding! Mostly.)
Two people that I think would complement this video well would be a slob comes clean, Dana just talked about some of these things. She also has a video series she did that was a get ready for guests at the holidays or something like that. She often talks about letting go of things that aren't actually as important to you. Because we can't do it all. The minimal mom also had a holiday planning series. These things might help spur ideas of what you want to do or what things you definitely don't want to do and want to skip this year. There was another lady I listened to one time that talked about how memories are a collective thing. Every holiday you don't need to do every single thing that you want to do. Maybe this year you go ice skating as a family and next year you see a play in the year after that you have a Christmas party with friends. It doesn't have to be everything all at once. I also have heard other things about making things simple by using more paper plates or ordering food instead of cooking it have people bring dishes if you're entertaining a large crowd so everything is not on you. Have things like appetizers and punch or little sandwiches. That way you can enjoy each other's company easily without being stuck in the kitchen. Definitely plan out meals or snacks or even getting takeout specific times so dinner isn't an issue. With my kids school age I usually try to do wrapping of Christmas presents when they are at school. The earlier you can shop and wrap stuff the definitely does help out. Also as a parent with kids with way too much stuff if you have younger ones and can scale back on things or have things more minimal to begin with I highly recommend so you don't get buried. Our Christmases were a bit much. I really wish we focused more on things like activities and food and quality time and less on gifts.
I call her 3 points O.C.P. organized, categorize, prioritize, Get organized write a list of everything you want to do. Categorize the list by what's the most important thing that needs to be done first AKA high priority versus low priority. When's your high priority tasks have been identified then you need to act upon those priorities and stick to the list. I know this is easier said than done even I still struggle to prioritize even now I'm allowing myself to be distracted by this video instead of focusing on my tasks for today and that's ok I'm aware of it and I will get back to work I was just giving myself permission to take a break and I will probably go back to my list of things I need to do today after I finish this video
@@raapyna8544 They probably donate the decorations at the end of the holiday. If you have the resources to do this and it helps then function. That works for them. If doesn't have to be for you, or approved by you, or anyone else for that matter. It's probably going to work for or help someone else.
unsure if I'm late to return to watching your vids and it's normal or that it's newer - thank you so much for including a test of the recommendations and even more for including points on how to manage if things aren't going as expected!!! I feel like that follow up isn't often included with ADHD advice and putting it together made me tear up a smidge so yeah, thank you
just found your channel after a jaw-dropping realisation less than an hour ago - I have ADHD!!! No big deal it's only taken me 56 years. So much makes sense and through this new lens I know my life is now about to change. Loved you Ted talk 🙂
Time buckets seems like a really good fit for the place I'm in right now. Like I can put them in on the nights my partner is video gaming with his friends or on the weekend after my driving lesson (because before I'm in waiting mode)
Happy holidays! Setting aside blocks of time to do whatever you want for the holidays is such a good idea. I do still have to take down Halloween decorations first haha
I am still in the stage where I need to figure out what to get the people, and where I'm going to get the money to get the people gifts. I should be well past this stage in life but here I am. I need to set a time bucket for thinking about these things.
Time buckets is something I've kind of been doing, and they are a game changer for me, so simple yet so effective. Thaank you for the great video, with great tips and great understanding and lack of judgement 🖤💜🖤💜
After every Holliday/ celebration I write down a note on Google Keep. I've noticed I have inspiration for presents, traditions and important things to remember, on the moment itself. A couple weeks before my mind is completely blank. So I write down what I need to buy and make a plan for the next year once the holiday is finished. Preferably already plan it. Works great.
4:40 I busted out laughing I never actually thought about how many things actually go into buying christmas presents. I always get myself into a last minute hustle but hopefully not this year!
I just wanted to say that your videos have been so helpful for me, I was diagnosed with ADHD this September, and my therapist (that I also started seeing this September) recommended your videos. I'm 22 and I've gone through life always feeling different from everyone else, feeling like I'm lazy and just no good. It's nice to have some kind of explanation for all the weirdness that is me. Would you happen to have a video comparing adhd and neurotypical brains? Something I've been struggling with since my diagnosis is understanding how a "normal" brain even works because I've gone so far in my life thinking that everyone else must be going through the same stuff but they just have their shit together and I don't.
Thank you for making this video! I love the creative possibilities of the holidays but ended up never getting to enjoy them because I was so burnt out for the first 8 years of motherhood. Using similar strategies to the ones you’ve suggested have made it much better (with just a bit of chaos still 🙃) but oh how I wish I had known sooner so I could ALSO enjoy the holidays 🙂
Awwwww I'm so glad to hear this type of strategy has helped you before!!! What's your experience with your strategies? Are there any differences that work better for you? I'd love to hear more!
Thank you! Protect my time is a great new concept for me. ❤ Getting Skylight for the family gift! Second year I’ve looked 👀 at it from your suggestions. Removing the small whiteboard and putting that up by the door. 😊 The math does not math for me either. My daughter is struggling with chronic illness. You helped me realize I can’t deck the halls. A small table topper tree and a wreath is enough.
It’s the first day of December and I have completed my Christmas bucket list. I’ve not felt so connected to spirit of Christmas or fully indulged in what this holiday offers for a few years. Thank you for this video! I was doubtful about the quality of your videos when I began watching your channel, because I thought you’d have exhausted what there is to say about ADHD in a few videos. Now I’m a champion of this channel. 🎄😂
That's so relatable. I try to keep those types of things on my fridge or somewhere on my phone but... 50/50 shot it still gets lost... but hey sometimes it doesn't! ... Sometimes!
I have felt lucky I never had to travel to see family over the holidays. I will do anything to avoid traveling during peak times. Can you negotiate to visit at another time? Christmas in March, maybe? ❤
I want to go shopping and creating for gifts but not only do I have ADHD and time crunch but also money restrictions this year. I have not much money and I’m scared to try to buy things because of how much it would cost. My vinyl cutter broke so I suddenly can’t use it to make gifts and paint. 🎨
Hello 🧠 and ❤, Jessica, Family and team. I hope you enjoy Your Baby's first Holidays. I try to start buying some gifts starting in October or even earlier. We only celebrate Christmas day and we don't do anything else because it's too over stimulating for all of my family. We keep the holidays simple.
In my case, the holidays are complicated by working retail. I work less hours now than I used to, but I still spend November December just totally worn out. I'd honestly rather just skip doing the holidays entirely, but I don't really get that choice because family. A lot of my "holiday planning" is really "how little can I get away with" lol
Wow. Amazing solution. Nevěděla jsem kam strčit vánoční trhy a ježdění na bruslích na tržišti. Teď už vím kam, do příštího roku.😮 To je geniální. Moc děkuji za záchranu zdraví.
I can't find the video you made with another woman as your guest and how she had to prep for her children beforehand to make the mornings easier. It helped me get tasks done while listening to it and so I replayed it over and over until I got done. Now I'm in need of it again and I can't find it. I've spent over a half an hour trying to find it and I wish I had screen shot. Just wondering if it was removed or maybe I'm to anxious to find it that I'm not paying attention.
![CAMPปลิ้น | รวม Highlight 2024! PART [1/2]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/6hnvNnvYloU/mqdefault.jpg)
Thanks to Skylight for sponsoring a portion of this video! If you decide to splurge on their GORGEOUS 27 inch Skylight Calendar Max, you can get $50 off if you go to skylightcal.com/HOWTOADHD50 and use my code HOWTOADHD50! #skylightpartner
We already have a skylight calendar (not that giant one, though) on the wall at the bottom of the stairs, so we can see it every morning. It has been very helpful for our kids (even the one that doesn't have ADHD). I even added a new calendar specifically for our meal plan (and related shopping) so that meals show up as their own color (getting asked every day what was for dinner...twice, because the kids always asked separately...got very exhausting).
I'm not interested in work-life balance.
@HowtoADHD I want to talk to you
The code doesn’t seem to work for international purchasers, I have wanted one of these for a while…. Oh well. Glad you also give it a good rating
Okay.....ive been saying i needed a projector board for a wall calendar for YEARS now. ❤❤❤
One thing I ended up doing last year - ask each family member what their most treasured/essential holiday experience is. It really helped me eliminate some of the stuff I thought we ‘had’ to do just because we’d always done it.
YESSSSSS. OMG YESSSSSSSS that's so important it's not just what's important to ourselves but, especially when celebrating with others, what is important to them as well. I love that so much!
I so love this tip ! Thanks for sharing !
That's such a good idea 👍🏻
That’s really smart!
Great idea, thanks!
Best ADHD Xmas tip we discovered: don’t wrap gifts in paper. Use nice drawstring bags. Wrapping a gift is like a dozen steps; drawstring is only about three. Keep them in the same box year round and put them straight back after and you don’t even have mess or the stress of throwing out stuff that triggers memories!
great idea. I always use bags as my wrapping is soooo janky
This is unrelated, but my mum who works at a library put the How to ADHD book on the recommend for purchase list after she looked at my copy. A couple of weeks ago she noticed one come through the returns chute!
First off, I have to take down my Christmas tree from last year.
THAT'S SO REAL THO 🤣
🤣
Well, for us it's removing the Halloween decorations that have been stuck to my kids windows since last year 😅
Nope, just ahead for this year. 🤣
Joke's on you, leaving my Christmas lights up by mistake is my one secret trick for saving time prepping for Christmas this year!
Best ADHD holiday decision I ever made was to staunchly refuse to celebrate Christmas. I get no joy out of it, only stress, so for the last 12 years, Dec 25th has been a quiet day of personal reflection, and I absolutely love it.
Honestly I love this. I think at one point in time for a culture in the past somewhere, Christmas was a one-day event with some family time and some quiet reflection, and that was it. I think the melding of multiple cultural holidays into one behemoth and then adding consumerism to it has made it so much more stressful than it needs to be. Maybe a boycott is in order haha
Same, but a few years ago, I put an tree topper lighted angel on a table. It brings me joy without stress.
Yes! This is probably one of my best decisions to help me be somewhat sane.
How sad!
@sir.636 everything in moderation. Rebalancing life in the face of an overblown holiday isn't sad. You can still make special moments, throw parties if you want, spend time with family. Taking away the expectation that everyone has to give extravagant gifts and attend copious overstimulating events isn't sad.
I hang tree-like garland and fairy lights near ceiling around most rooms, using 5lb command strips. Decorated or just as is- they add festive vibe without adding to our family "surface clutter"
After holiday each room hits packed in own storage box, with physical notes in them for future me. ( ideas, suggestions ect)
Room in own box is key in case future self has low energy some years, and I only have to unpack the appropriate box. ( instead of all boxes to look for the 4 items I want) The whole family contributed to this solution and we modify as needed.
Thanks for your support of our brains!❤
OMG THAT'S BRILLIANT I love that you and your family worked together towards a solution that's so so so so cool!!!
That really is brilliant! Thank you for sharing! Might try this when I put away my Thanksgiving decor.
I love this! I had the labeled clear bins and little diagrams to remember how we put up lights and whatnot, but the room-in-a-box is ingenious. Definitely going to try that 😁
That's a great idea... Instead of packing things sorted by item type, pack by room. Man I bet that really speeds things up.
And I agree, it's always a good idea to take "future self" into consideration... We always have to deal with them eventually!
That's the same trick we use! I put stuff on the walls to make sure surfaces are clear. when we didn't have enough room for a tree, I got fairy lights that have clips on them and used command hooks to hang them in a "tree" pattern and clip Christmas cards to them so we had a spot to put presents under. Every year before Halloween I also make sure to empty our little tchochke shelves and replace the items with seasonal decor I have in the garage so that its very festive but doesn't get in the way.
My brain was saying “Yeeaahh… I’m just gonna wing it.” And then you mentioned time buckets. I think I can work with that. I did something similar planning my wedding years ago but didn’t have a name for it. Time buckets! Thank you.
I have a family that staunchly believes in the "no Christmas before Thanksgiving" rule, which helps me separate tasks into stuff I can do before December vs in December. Lord knows I'll be ready to put decor up on December 1st lol
I live in Canada, so not the same Thanksgiving time, but we also do “Christmas” in December (or last weekend of November, depending on the day it lands on).
It’s also because we have a small home, so the tree and decor really take over, even though I enjoy them. I just keep it to December for my own (semi-) sanity 😜
@cheryldueck318 and there can be too much of a good thing! Even I can agree that keeping Christmas in December helps it stay special
My younger brother has a late birthday, so the rule in my house has always been that we can't decorate inside until after his birthday has passed (but we can do the outdoor lights if the weather is nice).
I have found leaving myself notes for next Xmas have really helped me. Like reminding myself that my husband isn't as bothered about decorating for Xmas so I remind myself I'm decorating for me and to not go overboard lol I also remind myself I can't make everyone's Xmas amazing, I'm only 1 human with a budget, I can't get 15 people £1000 presents or i will be insolvent lol Xmas is nice but it is one day, adjust your expectations accordingly
I have a list taped to the inside of the Christmas bin with a list of types of batteries needed for everything ( my hubby is ocd) it helps
Danna K. White has a great Playlist on how to get your house ready for the hollidays/have guests at your house in 2 weeks (or just be able to take photos with having people move away from that messy corner over there) . She's my go to for decluttering with ADHD!
Ooh! Good idea.
Her strategies work really well for me! (Also reading/listening to her stuff was how I first realized I have ADHD...)
Thanks for the recommendation 😊 I love long form content too lol
Dana K White is so hilarious, practical, non-judgmental
I am ADHD. I cannot burn out for Christmas. I love Christmas so much. It is what keeps me going each year
Ahahah that's awesome that your passion for it keeps you going! I love that!
@HowtoADHD you make amazing content I love to watch your stuff. I actually sent some of your content to my therapist and she loves it and shows it to her ADHD patient and even her kids who her youngest has ADHD.
Its the only happy time
Me too
I don't like it as it's extra, pressurey, interruptive and a lot of hype then it comes and its OK. Real strain on the social skills
One good thing with being childfree, single and have no contact with my family is that _I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT_ every single holiday! 🥳 🥳 🥳
I've got to be completely honest, I start working on Christmas gifts in August. Well, actually, I start on Christmas itself. I listen and take notes from Dec. 25 to August 1st in an attempt to come up with ideas for what to get people as gifts. I start buying said gifts in August so I can get as much of the shopping done early so I have to stress about a smaller amount of gifts as the holiday approaches and I am able to get whatever I want because nothing is sold out yet. It also gives me time to attempt to figure out what to get the people I have absolutely no idea about. So, some things I can do really well, like buying gifts because I am excited about it and I love trying to find the perfect gift, while others can become really last minute (Putting up my tree on Dec. 22nd last year due to depression). I like the idea of actually incorporating a calendar into this mix so I can even things out.
Our tradition is to put up the christmas tree on dec 24th, so you were actually early last year. Hope you're feeling better! ❤
I'm trying to do the same :D I have a tote dedicated so I know exactly where to go
"Is ok to un say yes." That is SO GREAT!!! I love that I'm not saying no to something, or canceling, I'm just un-saying yes! ❤
I have a family of five... So much clutter and it isn't mine to toss. How do I get around it? Prepare one room beautifully and keep everyone there on the day. That way everything that should have left my house in order to be decluttered can make its way to the garage for a hot minute and it works very well. I call it finding pockets of beauty.
Oh, my goodness!! “Pockets of beauty”! I love this!!
Yes!!! I do this too but I didn’t have a term for it! Thank you!!
Decluttering is a great thing to have in mind in the fall.
I really hope to see something about older people with ADHD. I know there are tons of us (like me) who went our first 50 years or so without diagnosis and even after you know, it's ongoing work to get things done and have self esteem. The rejection and criticism have built up over a lfetime. We also are awesome and I believe have a lot to contribute in terms of insight. I really hope for more inclusion in whatever "community" including yours. Thanks Jessica. Love your book.
Dear Jessica, I wish you the best Christmas ever. Maybe without a tree, decor or presents. (Just one single twig can make the spirit.) But with a healthy loved one and daughter, perhaps just watching tv. It's being together that counts. (I know everyone says this, but it took me some decades to believe it. Please learn faster than I did.) Merry winter time!
Good timing and reminder to start blocking out time now. I'm usually forget holidays, especially the small ones until it's too late. Like, I'd love to travel over a 3 day weekend by plane, but since I forget until my coworkers ask the Friday, I end up on a road trip and a crapy hotel or I'm just too tired to plan at that moment.
Oof yeah that's extremely relatable. Definitely hope the video helps!
Could you guys maybe make a video on doing laundry with adhd? Laundry is one of the things I struggle with most because it just never seems to get done and I avoid putting clothes away.
@@justanotherartist274 Yes please, me too😣
Dana K White has videos for ADHD friendly laundry tips
When I lived at my parents' house, I did a LOT of laundry (many siblings & parents!)
I would do it while watching t.v. ! I would start a load in the washer - which takes about 30 minutes - which was the time a t.v. show ran. So, when my program was over, I'ld pop down the basement, throw the wet clothes in the dryer & start a new load. And dry clothes went into a basket that I brought upstairs & folded as I watched the next show.
It's also a free workout if you have stairs! Lol 😆
Now, as an adult, I have to do it at the laundromat. I either bring a book or knitting.
Carry a device (tablet or phone) with a program you like : movie, tv series, show, podcast, whatever would engage your brain into something that will give you the drive to do the laundry. It’s crazy how my body starts moving and doing stuff, almost like on its own accord, when I listen to an engaging podcast. Also, set timers on your device to help take to laundry out of the washing machine before it starts stinking (we know that’s a big problem, who would enjoy folding smelly laundry !). There’s one thing I haven’t sortes yet but it’s quite okay : I don’t have a tumble dryer so I hand laundry to dry. It’s always difficult to really plan when it’s going to be dry so I fold when I need to hang fresh out of the washing machine laundry. So laundry can stay hung for a veeeeeeery long time before it gets folded.
I aim to do one load of laundry per day...and my OCD husband folds it because otherwise i would just shove it in the drawers or hang it upa week later...but atleast its clean.
I always overcommit so I love the tip of deciding what’s important to me! My birthday is also on Christmas which just adds a whole ‘nother wrinkle into the mix
As I was watching this, I realized that it can be used for Any event, not just Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza, or New Year's. Thank you for this reminder.
Parents always bring a bag with stuff for their kid, e.g. favourite snack, plushy, snuffly favourite cloth, etc. Bring such a collection for yourself. Whatever soothes you and keeps you going. ❤
I've *somehow* already made all the Christmas presents for family, and it's November.
Just now need to do the ones for friends, oh and all the cards, oh and friends birthdays, oh and...
Hey! Congrats on getting the family presents done at least! Hope the video helps with organising and planning the rest of it
Making a list checking it …obsessively like three or four or ten times because you can’t remember what the heck was on it save your life!
But at least you have a list! 😂 If you remember where you put it, and actually remember to add things and check them off . Lol this is me
I am peopled out right now for varied reasons. I’m skipping a “family” Thanksgiving in favor of a quiet day with just my husband. Plan to finish a good book I’ve been reading, staying in my pjs til I don’t want to, and only accepting text messages that I can reply to when I feel like it. There may be a nap or two involved. Not taking on stress on this holiday is paramount! See you at Christmas………maybe.
I hope you and your family have a Stress Free Hoildays this Year Jessica.
Heh, I think it's always some level of stressful but at least I hope this year we aren't burntout by it! Hope you have a burnout free holiday yourself!
What I do every year to circumvent the shopping nightmare is I start Christmas shopping in July, and with the urgency as if I were doing shopping in October-November (so not last minute, but keeping a steady pace of researching and buying gifts).
It's takes a ton of stress off my chest in the actual Christmas season because then I only have to worry about scheduling and family stuff
"Don't Do Anything This Holiday Season" - got it, great advice, going to run with that. Thanks Jess!
PPPPFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT LOOK ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT IT -IS- TECHNICALLY AN OPTION xD
@@HowtoADHD yaaayyy my favourite option!!
I like your idea of time buckets! That's really useful for us neurotypicals, too 😊
Thank you for the reminder to look ahead and cancel what would overwhelm me weeks from now. It always surprises me when I realize how much I do out of obligation.
I completely relate to not planning ahead for vacation and being left with limited options. For the first time ever, this year I planned a vacation in June that I took in September. I got a much more affordable flight, researched the area for many weeks, and had a beautiful time. It did help that I went alone 😊 so I didn't have to negotiate details. Vacationing alone is a gift to my ADHD, codependent brain
Oh my gosh! I’m only halfway through and I can’t believe how helpful this video is! Every single, I fall into the traps. How can it be that it never dawned on me to tackle it this way? I know to plan ahead, but I never had the strategies to actually do that.😂
Thanks so much for making this video. Looking forward to trying it out give myself plenty of grace, knowing my brain and inability to judge time.😊
Awwww yay I'm so happy to hear that! Let us know how it goes for you!!!
I used to over commit to Christmas adult parties & meals as well as Christmas experiences for the children. I was out all week working then all weekend. I didnt enjoy the majority. Now we do LaplandUK with the children only & I may have 1 Christmas meal with my chosen friend's. I dont feel like im missing out. Im so happy to really enjoy just 1 thing. I save so much time, energy & money. I definitely do not feel guilty either now. I have got into the routine of saying no or I will see how I feel closer to the time.
Everyone deserves to enjoy the holidays!
I think gift giving is my love language but a day to gift everyone takes a toll. Thank you for this!
A way that helped me when I had my own house to decorate was to have spaces designated for decorations. I switch them out with a different holiday every season. I also try to Reduce, reuse, recycle as much as possible so I had totes organized in my garage. Lost a lot to Hurricane Laura.
I'm going to share this video with my friends. I love the time blocks idea. I haven't tried specific hours of the day to put on my to do list but it makes total sense!
I love your videos. Congratulations on your new arrival! Remember it's ok to manage expectations and do what works for your family.
Take your time with the list of the things you love, the brainstorm is part of the ideas part, and most ADHDers love it. ❤ Enjoy coming up with toms of ideas!
I have found the best way to have a stress free holiday is to pretend it isn't happening... well, I guess it is not the best way to do it... so, yeah. Whatever. Thanks for sharing. This was a great video.
Ah, yes, my oldest and most reliable coping mechanism, dissociation/shut-down/just no. It's frustratingly hard to stop doing, but it probably served its purpose in the past I guess.
Good advice! I am a software developer, and I started using a lot from the Agile Sprint method in my personal life. Basically, my family plans in 2 week increments and other things go to the backlog. It helps my brain a lot to not think, “I have a month before traveling”, but instead “I have 2 sprints to finish preparation and oh yeah I have a dentist appointment next week”. The bucket idea is also really helpful.
Thank you so much for the invitation to focus on being functional without ignoring my idealism. I often feel like those things are in conflict and you laid out a path for them to work together.
I also use an app called gift list. I can list everyone who I need to buy gifts for then can check off when I bought that gift and when I've wrapped it.
It helps so much. I'm not having to remember what I've bought for who and wondering if I've forgotten anyone.
THERE'S AN APP?!?! OMG!!!!
😂 @@HowtoADHD
Love this! I definitely never thought of making up a list of to-do's for the holidays, let alone how much time each thing will take to do. You just saved me so much stress and time!!!❤❤🎄🎁
I LOVE the concept of “Time Buckets”!!! Thanks & Congratulations!
I watched this and my primary reaction was "6 WEEKS!?" ...so thanks for the advice, I clearly needed it even just for that lol 😭
Thank you for this. I've recently (finally) been diagnosed, and holidays are so so hard to deal with. Here's to hoping this helps me not be up till 4am on Christmas Eve prepping!
Two of my children have birthdays on either side of Christmas. This time of year I start to PANIC. I do try to keep it minimal and ask people to help with the parts that are important to them. My middle child asked if we could just have a family celebration this year instead of a big party. He is my favorite now (kidding! Mostly.)
Two people that I think would complement this video well would be a slob comes clean, Dana just talked about some of these things. She also has a video series she did that was a get ready for guests at the holidays or something like that. She often talks about letting go of things that aren't actually as important to you. Because we can't do it all. The minimal mom also had a holiday planning series. These things might help spur ideas of what you want to do or what things you definitely don't want to do and want to skip this year. There was another lady I listened to one time that talked about how memories are a collective thing. Every holiday you don't need to do every single thing that you want to do. Maybe this year you go ice skating as a family and next year you see a play in the year after that you have a Christmas party with friends. It doesn't have to be everything all at once. I also have heard other things about making things simple by using more paper plates or ordering food instead of cooking it have people bring dishes if you're entertaining a large crowd so everything is not on you. Have things like appetizers and punch or little sandwiches. That way you can enjoy each other's company easily without being stuck in the kitchen. Definitely plan out meals or snacks or even getting takeout specific times so dinner isn't an issue. With my kids school age I usually try to do wrapping of Christmas presents when they are at school. The earlier you can shop and wrap stuff the definitely does help out. Also as a parent with kids with way too much stuff if you have younger ones and can scale back on things or have things more minimal to begin with I highly recommend so you don't get buried. Our Christmases were a bit much. I really wish we focused more on things like activities and food and quality time and less on gifts.
This is why I keep the holidays simple: stay home, back some bread, and either A) go out for lunch while the bread rises or B) watch a movie.
intro was perfection
😂 Agreed
I call her 3 points O.C.P. organized,
categorize,
prioritize,
Get organized write a list of everything you want to do.
Categorize the list by what's the most important thing that needs to be done first AKA high priority versus low priority.
When's your high priority tasks have been identified then you need to act upon those priorities and stick to the list.
I know this is easier said than done even I still struggle to prioritize even now I'm allowing myself to be distracted by this video instead of focusing on my tasks for today and that's ok I'm aware of it and I will get back to work I was just giving myself permission to take a break and I will probably go back to my list of things I need to do today after I finish this video
I end up buying new Christmas decorations every year to avoid the stress of looking for the ones I already have.
That sounds really wasteful 😅
It may save this person from overwhelm, and that is priceless!!
@@joanross1384 But then the stuff piles up in their home and it's harder each year to find stuff
@@raapyna8544 They probably donate the decorations at the end of the holiday. If you have the resources to do this and it helps then function. That works for them. If doesn't have to be for you, or approved by you, or anyone else for that matter. It's probably going to work for or help someone else.
Merry Christmas Madness! Our habits define us and if they were not comfortable we would not keep it up year after year.
unsure if I'm late to return to watching your vids and it's normal or that it's newer - thank you so much for including a test of the recommendations and even more for including points on how to manage if things aren't going as expected!!! I feel like that follow up isn't often included with ADHD advice and putting it together made me tear up a smidge so yeah, thank you
I haven't even finished the video, but I just had to say that that was the best opening ever! Loved the Rudolph sound effect and everything. XD
just found your channel after a jaw-dropping realisation less than an hour ago - I have ADHD!!! No big deal it's only taken me 56 years. So much makes sense and through this new lens I know my life is now about to change. Loved you Ted talk 🙂
Thanks. I started to update my calendar while I was watching this video. I know what I want but usually I start too late. Not this year!!!
Time buckets seems like a really good fit for the place I'm in right now. Like I can put them in on the nights my partner is video gaming with his friends or on the weekend after my driving lesson (because before I'm in waiting mode)
Hello, Brains & Hearts!
Hello, Jess, fam, & crew
I love the time bucket idea!
Happy holidays! Setting aside blocks of time to do whatever you want for the holidays is such a good idea. I do still have to take down Halloween decorations first haha
I am still in the stage where I need to figure out what to get the people, and where I'm going to get the money to get the people gifts. I should be well past this stage in life but here I am.
I need to set a time bucket for thinking about these things.
Time buckets is something I've kind of been doing, and they are a game changer for me, so simple yet so effective.
Thaank you for the great video, with great tips and great understanding and lack of judgement 🖤💜🖤💜
3:49 I knew this about my brain, but this visual is so helpful! This is EXACTLY how my brain works.
After every Holliday/ celebration I write down a note on Google Keep. I've noticed I have inspiration for presents, traditions and important things to remember, on the moment itself. A couple weeks before my mind is completely blank. So I write down what I need to buy and make a plan for the next year once the holiday is finished. Preferably already plan it. Works great.
Good ideas! Thank you for sharing.
4:40 I busted out laughing I never actually thought about how many things actually go into buying christmas presents. I always get myself into a last minute hustle but hopefully not this year!
I just wanted to say that your videos have been so helpful for me, I was diagnosed with ADHD this September, and my therapist (that I also started seeing this September) recommended your videos. I'm 22 and I've gone through life always feeling different from everyone else, feeling like I'm lazy and just no good. It's nice to have some kind of explanation for all the weirdness that is me. Would you happen to have a video comparing adhd and neurotypical brains? Something I've been struggling with since my diagnosis is understanding how a "normal" brain even works because I've gone so far in my life thinking that everyone else must be going through the same stuff but they just have their shit together and I don't.
Thank you for making this video! I love the creative possibilities of the holidays but ended up never getting to enjoy them because I was so burnt out for the first 8 years of motherhood.
Using similar strategies to the ones you’ve suggested have made it much better (with just a bit of chaos still 🙃) but oh how I wish I had known sooner so I could ALSO enjoy the holidays 🙂
Awwwww I'm so glad to hear this type of strategy has helped you before!!! What's your experience with your strategies? Are there any differences that work better for you? I'd love to hear more!
Thank you! Protect my time is a great new concept for me. ❤ Getting Skylight for the family gift! Second year I’ve looked 👀 at it from your suggestions. Removing the small whiteboard and putting that up by the door. 😊 The math does not math for me either. My daughter is struggling with chronic illness. You helped me realize I can’t deck the halls. A small table topper tree and a wreath is enough.
It’s the first day of December and I have completed my Christmas bucket list. I’ve not felt so connected to spirit of Christmas or fully indulged in what this holiday offers for a few years. Thank you for this video! I was doubtful about the quality of your videos when I began watching your channel, because I thought you’d have exhausted what there is to say about ADHD in a few videos. Now I’m a champion of this channel. 🎄😂
Me making plans to organize the holidays, while spending two hours trying to remember where I put the list.
That's so relatable. I try to keep those types of things on my fridge or somewhere on my phone but... 50/50 shot it still gets lost... but hey sometimes it doesn't! ... Sometimes!
The holidays are coming for us! 😱
..but first I want to talk about a tool that can make the holidays so much easier, Bourbon! 👍
Relaxation time to enjoy a drink (alcoholic or otherwise) ain't a bad thing to add in! :D
Ok this is the best video. I have a two-year-old and I know this season will be crazy! Thank you so much much
I think I'm gonna use your method to plan my wedding, I'm so overwhelmed with it 😅
That hat collection is just fabulous! A seriously great idea.
I have so much anxiety towards holidays that as an adult that I can't even travel for holidays anymore.
I have felt lucky I never had to travel to see family over the holidays. I will do anything to avoid traveling during peak times. Can you negotiate to visit at another time? Christmas in March, maybe? ❤
I want to go shopping and creating for gifts but not only do I have ADHD and time crunch but also money restrictions this year. I have not much money and I’m scared to try to buy things because of how much it would cost. My vinyl cutter broke so I suddenly can’t use it to make gifts and paint. 🎨
Hello 🧠 and ❤, Jessica, Family and team. I hope you enjoy Your Baby's first Holidays.
I try to start buying some gifts starting in October or even earlier.
We only celebrate Christmas day and we don't do anything else because it's too over stimulating for all of my family. We keep the holidays simple.
Love keeping it simple! Totally understand it being too over stimulating!
this is helpful and I appreciate it
Ok... completely off topic, but I LOVE the wall of hats in the Skylight ad!!
Great ideas! I'm going to try the time bucket idea this season.
hahahaha that intro xD
EPIC!
LOVE your videos :)
Wish your family a stressfree christmas/holiday season :)
Omg I need a video on this 😅
I thought that big wall calendar thing years ago. Wish I would’ve invented it.
Awesome video Jessica 😍
hm, maybe have environment where is already everything done, like cafe or restaurant or bar and have fun there with no worries.
In my case, the holidays are complicated by working retail. I work less hours now than I used to, but I still spend November December just totally worn out. I'd honestly rather just skip doing the holidays entirely, but I don't really get that choice because family. A lot of my "holiday planning" is really "how little can I get away with" lol
How I deal with the holidays: I don’t do them. Except Halloween… I live Halloween year ‘round.
Helpful, thanks. ❤
Missing out on things that I’m excited about.. because I run out if time…. yeh. I feel that so hard :(
Wow. Amazing solution.
Nevěděla jsem kam strčit vánoční trhy a ježdění na bruslích na tržišti. Teď už vím kam, do příštího roku.😮 To je geniální. Moc děkuji za záchranu zdraví.
😂 The beginning is so funny
1. I would love to run away from my holiday obligations
Extremely helpful video that's kicking me into gear; thank you!!!
I like the idea of the skylight.
Looks awesome actually!
This is really smart and helpful. Thank you.
Love the video!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😊
Yay, so glad you liked it! 😄
I can't find the video you made with another woman as your guest and how she had to prep for her children beforehand to make the mornings easier. It helped me get tasks done while listening to it and so I replayed it over and over until I got done. Now I'm in need of it again and I can't find it. I've spent over a half an hour trying to find it and I wish I had screen shot. Just wondering if it was removed or maybe I'm to anxious to find it that I'm not paying attention.