More than quiet: observations of a teenage introvert | Cholpon Emil | TEDxYouth@ISPrague
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 มี.ค. 2018
- Cholpon’s talk is based on a plethora of personal experiences, both in school and out. She hopes to inspire fellow introverts, and to provoke a discussion on inclusivity in schools. Born in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan, Cholpon has moved around the world for most of her life. Between her home country, the United States, and the Czech Republic, she has experienced a variety of people, cultures, and educational systems. Cholpon’s talk is based on a plethora of personal experiences, both in school and out. She hopes to inspire fellow introverts, and to provoke a discussion on inclusivity in schools.
Born in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan, Cholpon has moved around the world for most of her life. Between her home country, the United States, and the Czech Republic, she has experienced a variety of people, cultures, and educational systems. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
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I have been told by both students and teachers that they, literally, _forgot that I was in the room_ because of how quiet I am.
Ik me too
Yeah, me too. But I don't think of it in a bad way though. If you don't speak people won't be able to speak to you, so they won't notice or get to know you. Therefore, in my opinion, it's normal for people say that. If you want to be noticed/talked to, you gotta make the first move or participate in conversations (ofcourse it doesn't necessarily mean shouting, making jokes non stop, it can be as little as sharing an interesting fact or an hobby with others). If you don't want that, then that's cool too :-)
@@mihal9909 thanks nice information😊 helpful.
I can feel ya bruh..I get tht a lot too..n I don't know why but my parents scold me for this 😓
Kiquet I hear you 😐
"I spoke up ,but did you listen?"👍💗
yes!
Goosebumps' that ending 😭
🖤
I like being an introvert. I'm feeling natural. I know what I'm. And I don't want to change myself!
I'm from Germany and in our schools we get marks on how often we raise our hand in class and speak up. This is just not ok. I'm a quite person and I'm really interested in our lessons but these marks low down my end results of the school year.
Lena B. Mündliche Noten. Das was ich am meisten an der Schule hasse. Ich kann dich gut verstehen. 😉
Well you are luck because in India situation is much worse , everyone is an extrovert here
LOGY GEEK
Same for my school in Germany. I seriously don’t know 1 introverted student, except for me. But we still have a great online Introvert community ; )
@@sleepy.goblin6216 yup bro
@@sleepy.goblin6216 Honestly, I think a lot of introverts hide it. For example, I'm an introvert, but I have taught myself to talk to people, make jokes willingly and often, and raise my hand in class (maybe just my favorite classes, though.) I've learned how to be an extrovert, and people don't think of me as an introvert anymore. But when I get home after eight hours of school, I go straight to my room and avoid talking to anyone else that day. I'm sure other kids do the same, and although it's very draining, I do it to impress my teachers, friends, and random people I try to sell fundraisers to. I'm not the only introvert I know, I just can't tell who the others are.
One of the best things as an introvert, is that when you are watching other people's interactions and personalities, you learn from that and sometimes you will know how to adapt your personality to the situation. A skill that only introverts develop.
@Anthony Johnson Did yoy just say introverts are objectively better than extroverts?
Bruh
@@EyeTouchKids Indeed. I hope he was just trolling.
@@PiotrusGranie introverts are often better at figuring people and their motives out
@@vl0731 Sources for these claims?
Teacher: I hate teachers that give good grades for not talking
Also my teacher: in order to get these 100 point you have to add five things to the conversation
Me: finally speaks
Her: shhhhh everyone, listen to the kid who doesn’t prefer to talk
I feel so understood right now. Like I'm not the only one. Being an introvert is so hard, I just feel like most people don't get it
No one:
My teachers, even study hall: she’s so quiet *repeats name so that everyone can hear*
I know. I'm so tired of being labelled as quiet and shy. What about nice, intelligent, wise, etc. But no, no one can see past my quietness. I cannot count the amount of time people have asked my why I don't talk as much. I never have a response for them. I just shake my shoulders.
Uhh... This happens with me every time. I am just tired of all this! God help me =_=
@@rachie2456 how old are you?
@@woozy9112 Why?
I found my childhood report cards and in every single one the teacher would write, "Anne is a wonderful student, but I wish she would talk more, I would like to see her participate more, I would like to see her speak up more". This was when I was a child. It's interesting because I grew up thinking that something was wrong with me because I didn't feel comfortable making small talk, didn't feel comfortable speaking up in class. There was nothing wrong with me. We are finally understanding this. Keep speaking up for yourself and others. Thank you. Anne
I'm total introvert and I'm in my 30s. I hate it so much when people say don't be shy, be active, don't be silent, why you don't talk? I hate it so much when people tell me these. I love being with my own, I'm comfortable being myself. And extroverts, you are too laud.
I'm a teacher, I can see every student in my class, I can see who is extrovert and who is introvert. And I know how introverts feel, I encourage them, I give them chance and time to speak up, to let others know what they think in a gentle way. Don't overlook, it hurts.
I feel you...
I also experienced the same
Thank you so much for being the voice of introverts 💛
I've always felt different since the day people started bringing up my skin color and how quiet I am. I never had another introvert in my class, so I was always called out. I felt abnormal. Like I had some mental disorder because I had always seemed to be the only one that would've rather spent time themselves. I felt like there was something wrong with me. I'd always struggled making friends, and so many people always seemed to ignore me because I was "quiet". During group projects, I was always last to be chosen because people felt I wouldn't be beneficial because I don't speak as much as they do. Until the day some people started seeing past that. I was finally beginning to be called intelligent, nice, wise, etc. I enjoyed that. But there will be those same teachers and students that cannot see that.
Why are you brown
Reflecting quietly and to yourself is a really enormous part of Montessori learning. There's time for hands-on learning, but you always reflect on that after the fact.
i had been okay with my introvertedness until my graduation year approached and i started to apply for job. companies seek for someone with great leadership and full of ideas, which actually means speaks a lot during group discussions. that really sucks. i prefer to spend my time alone but companies like to listen about my own successful teamwork experiences. it's not that i have fewer ideas presumably compared to other students but i don't speak out them without pondering enough and during that others cannot be quiet and i got behind. my life as an introvert is really hard.
I fell most comfortable here.... Among my own.
Being Quiet is not a disadvantage.
Thank you for sharing this.
Really appreciated!
Being an Introvert 🌸🌲🐠🦋🐌 is so beautiful.
I have a school speech coming up and I’m terrified
ZabrinaBlack I’m sure you’re going to do amazing!
How did you do?
@Giov smokes dank • 38 years ago you living life in 2058
the best ted x talks get the least views. sad
Ariana Trump yea I know. I’m sorry I can’t take your profile pic serious lmao
Yeah, your profile pic is very interesting lol :")
You profile picture and name kills me lol
I feel understood. Thank you 😉
The classes that are considered most modern and easiet for students are always the ones where participation is a large part of the grade. Those are the classes I get Cs in at best
Wow, she imparts so much wisdom in this talk, especially in the last couple of minutes. Way to go girl!
Thank you for letting me feel that i am not alone
I'm proud of you
Very well said... Love this❤️
You are really speaking my voice .
Thanks
I’ve heard the word quiet all my life my mom thought something was wrong with me she suggested a therapist she doesn’t understand that there is nothing wrong with me it’s just who I am
Yes all throughout primary and high school and parents evening I’ve been called quiet I had some friends from primary but after I moved schools I found it hard to make friends I’m made some but we cut off our relationship because I didn’t talk as much now I enjoy my own company and is proud to be introverted
Thank you for this talk, I can relate so much! It's such a relief to know I am not alone
Schools should educate children about introverts ambiverts and extroverts or else "different" people will get bullied
Such a powerful talk. Thanks
I just went to the high school for my dream class, but with a lot of new, unknown for me people (all my friends from middle school went somewhere else, but we are in a close touch). I always was a introvert, which I like and accepted as a big part of my personality. People, with which I go to class by now, are all outgoing persons, really talkative and cheerful, while I'm not, so I was pointed out... And as I wanted things to go out naturally, it all went up to fast and I end up being a loner. Now I'm talking to my classmates less and less, because I feel like they will be guiding, that I open up to them so late in time. I'm starting to feel less acceptable about myself than I was before, so it even crossed my mind to back out, and left my dreams behind. Is it still a chance for them to understand me now or will I always be just a mute? This TedTalk is giving me so hope, I wish that will do to change for bettter~
Definitely there would be a change and I hope ur frnds understand u soon ❤️
I know this is coming a bit late but trust me I felt the same way as you did. I moved countries and schools a lot and it was always very difficult for me to make friends as I wasn’t as talkative as most people, but over time I was able to find people that understood and accepted me. I know it’s lonely at first but it’s important to stay true to yourself and to follow your dream. I hope you’re doing well now 😊
We have had three discussions this year, two of which were in English and each time my teacher personally called me out because I was sitting and listening instead of speaking. Everyone laughed and I was clearly the only introvert in the group. I read a question from the sheet in front of me but everyone just looked at me confused so I just shut up and went into my ownself. If anything that discouraged me from ever talking in a discussion again. The grade from that discussion lowered my grade to almost failing.
I know exactly how yo feel, we are the same way
"I am quite in school, I am not the first to speak, I like to keep thoughts to myself. I am an introvert."
'you're too quiet' -said every new teacher every year
Such an interesting speech.
Introverts deseve more recognition.
I thought i had some kind of disease till i was 17 then i found out about the definition introverts and extroverts only through the internet..teachers never told me that im an introvert or anything about that
Being introvert in India is most difficult ...😥😥😥
Very true! Those day to day struggles...!!
Really, everyday is a struggle.
Intense bullying is a part of daily school and college life
Let's make a separate national for introverts. But one world and one people.
What'a powerful ending 😭
Being an introvert in Pakistan is the most difficult thing.
Teachers tell extroverts to keep quiet and introverts to speak loudly 😑
Thanks for helping 👍❤️
I'm quiet, but don't exactly class myself as quiet, if that makes sense. I talk to people in small groups, in our friendship group (this is at lunch or break), I'll usually sit between either a corner and someone, or the two people I'm most comfortable around, sure, I may know them all, and be comfortable around them all, and if there's 15 of us, I'll be able to tell you what every single one of their conversations are about, and probably what conversation hey had the day before, but I'll only interact with the 2, or maybe even 1 person, I'm sat, or stood, next to. In classes, I don't mind talking to the person I'm sat next to, in fact I prefer it to total silence, and helping the popular kids is fun, I just don't do it often. I do it, when the chatter has died down enough, when the overwhelming presence of people talking has given me a small chance to speak up, even if it's just someone not knowing the answer. At parent teachers, I get told I need to speak up, and like other comments I've seen, that people have often forgot I'm in the room, or even there, my name is frequently forgotten. And if I'm walking in my friendship group, often another friend will start a conversation with the friend I was just chatting with, and then I'm forgotten in the corridor with my friends walking off. It makes me lonely, but I don't mind it. I know I can't hold a conversation, let alone an interesting one, but still. In the future, I want to be, perhaps a teacher. I love maths (unpopular opinion, I know), I understand it, and I like helping people understand it, but, I don't want to tell anyone I want to become a teacher, because I know that I don't talk enough, and social skills are needed, I know that when in a group project, it takes me multiple years of being in the same group before I'm happy to speak up and take control of a situation, and I know that I'm slowly finding it easier to do that when I get older, but, the only teacher that found out I wanted to be a teacher, though they supported it, I could easily tell that they doubted I could. In schools, could we perhaps have a bit less, communication is needed in jobs so introverts are gonna fail, attitude. If we talk in class, we get told off, I once got yelled at because someone needed help, so I helped them. If I witness over people getting yelled at for talking, and experience it myself, of course I'm gonna be quiet, it's obeying school rules, but then I get told that what I'm doing is kind of wrong? And then, you tell me that because of that I will fail in the future? I can talk when I am needed to, if I am asked to read in class, then I will, in group projects, when it's my turn to do the camera work and film (I study creative media), we get stuff done quick, because I already know what camera shots I have to do, and the others in the group listen to me when I speak, the thing is, I only speak when I need to, but I'm told that it will inhibit me in the future, that I can't have the future I want because I don't actively get yelled at for talking? Sorry, for such a long comment, guess I needed to get this out, anyway, sorry for the long comment,
Can you please use paragraphs? I was interested in reading your post but gave up after scrolling the long text wall.
This seems just like my story and yeah writing helps us introverts to express ourselves
I can relate no more... I keep a journal where I write my good and fun experiences of life and often I also write down my thoughts it helps me to get off the load from mind.
Keep going like this!!!!
Most people who aren't classified as an introvert don't bother to take time to understand us. Sure, we may not be as vocal as extroverts, but that doesn't mean that we are any less.
"I wish she would speak up more"
"She should say her ideas more."
"I forgot you were there, your so quiet."
Don't let them get to you.
You are enough.
Am introvert because i love to be on my own. I don't like to bother people with my problems. I don't talk alot especially when am in the midst of people i don't know.
In a few of my classes, we were respectful and didn’t talk much. My teacher was always trying to get us to talk and she always calls random people out. I enjoy hearing some of the other students comments, but it was stressful to fill the silence.
I feel you girl
I never gave a damn with any comments… I love being an introvert 💪
Excellent video 👍👍
I spoke up, but did you listen?! ☘ Mükemmel. Türkçe bir altyazı eklenirse çok memnun olacağım, ben anlıyorum ama Türkiye'de yaşayan herkesin anlaması, dinleyebilmesi için bu önemli.
(This is a perfect speach, if someone can add Turkish subtitles in this video I'll so appreciate that, so everyone who speaks and understand in my language can "listen" her.)
I've known from about age 7 that I am an introvert, I knew this long before I knew the word introvert or what it means .
I'm now 60 y.o. There is a book by Susan Cain called "Quiet......" and reading this book has helped me enormously.
I hate to talk too much but i love to make presentations in class and get attention when i want to present something
This hit different
I'm not a quiet kid, I raise my hand, I participate quite a bit. But I did use to be the "quiet kid". I never talked, never had a friend, my teacher would ask "who is [my name]?" because she'd forget me altogether. I'm still naturally quiet, I still don't talk too much, but I do try my best.
@Daphne Asis Brinkworth I am something that is more of a extrovert that was driven to being introverted in my younger years. I'm quite louder now and more social
4:23
smart that u hv chosen those countries!!
Wow...... amazing...... thank you sooo much
I think that talking less makes you more likely to notice things others wouldn't.
I don't have any info to back this up, just a thought, so correct me if im wrong
I thank you because I did as a kid talk alot but that me trying to fit someone's mold they made while now I have stopped. Is that so bad?
my marks are so low and i DO get good marks on worksheets but i don’t *participate* it kind of makes me feel bad cause every teacher i’ve had labels me *quiet* or *doesnt participate* and even more.
"He needs to participate more" .......And that's my whole school life😄
Well, she did what the teachers wanted her to do.
I can so relate
I wish this was true, but being an introvert (I am and also my daughter) is not easy and the society is born to think all individuals should be extroverts and instinctively rejects introverts...everybody admires and follows the extroverts and want to be with them...you end up feeling lonely even if you don't care in the beginning. Imagine a room full of introverts including the teacher...what is your feeling on that? Do you want to be in that room everyday for the rest of your life? Introverts have a hard life
My teachers liked me because I was quiet 😂
I wish I could make myself the way I wanted to be..And I believe I will become the person I want to be... Actually the problem is that no one born as an introvert it depends on the environment that a child gets from childhood only bullying,rejections,teasing these all things impact a child's growth a lot so I urge to all of the ppls please stop this bullying teasing the child and all...Teach your child self confidence rather than being perfect
Amaen
why aren't online classes the norm now? it's much more convenient than going to school everyday and sitting in a different classroom for 45 minutes 6-7 times a day...
So true... Online medium was a heaven for introverts, right?
Society doesn't have to acknowledge the ability of the introvert people! They are more powerful than the extrovert!
They are equal. Both is powerful
I’m a both
I remember my grade 2 teacher embarrassing me in class because I do not speak
Bruh I wish the only complaint my teachers had about me was that I'm quiet💀
It's our personality why people judge it
All teachers in my school there are doesn't know my name
Being a introvert with beauty is ok but introvert+uglyness is worst
Beauty lies in the eye of beholder
4:57 ifi were you
i would recommend schools to ignore introverts minde their own work
coz thats an introvert would want it to be like that
love quiet at times say something when flirting loving my beautiful wife but more quiet I unique 🙂🥳😍😗😔
People should stop mentioning to an introvert how they are so quiet. It's so annoying
IMO, it's better to say fewer words and make them more meaningful than to just blabber on about nothing of value
the real question is why do you feel so comfortable or why does it come soon natural to you to be so quiet when we as human beings were created to interact with one another to communicate this is just another justification of how poorly our social society is developing. Especially amongst our youth.this is not an attack on her this is a fact that I am bringing up. Since the age of technology and mass social media usage text messages etc our youth has come accustomed to not speaking to one another and this has become the the norm yet it is the problem.
I get what u mean, sometimes it can be awkward when a group of people are using phones and aren't talking to each other. I feel like the thing about being an introvert is this, it's not like u are shy or don't know how to talk, it's just sometimes u prefer listening and observing before finally opening up
I see what you are saying, and I agree to an extent. When I was little, I was one of the most outgoing people you would ever meet. But then I was bullied and abused and my mom died and that caused trust issues and shyness. Yes, sometimes introverts are introverts because of technology, but you have to look at the whole picture.
I respect y'all's opinion and I do take into consideration everyones view so it does help me see the whole picture thanks for participating in this discussion I am happy to have heard you.
Check out my Facebook page project enduring freedom
You can scroll down to my news letter and click on the pictures to read my story. Or listen to the post I jus out up it's a Livestream from Abita Springs radio Facebook page go there and like their page and listen to my story there it starts around 4:40 in to the stream
To me there is a difference between speaking to a large group of people and speaking to my best friends. With speaking to a large group I feel as if I will be judged whereas with my friends I will say whatever comes to mind because I knkw they won't judge me.
When my mom use to say “it’s because of that game or that phone that’s why your like that” now I actually really think so spending to much to much time not socializing can really mess you up
Stop being a victim
?
@@minaminaashido3805 im an introvert to but I dont want special treatment. Im not a victim
@@Rjxmd it isn't special treatment we want, it's _normal_ treatment. society sees introverts as weird and quiet, and that's not good. she's not trying to be a victim.
Who are you talking too ? Cause shes not acting like a Victim...👀
Stop shaming