My Sister is Upset I Babysit My Friend's Baby Over Her Nightmare Kid. How Can I Get My Family To....

My (23F) sister (30F) is upset I babysit my friends' (23M and 22F) baby over her nightmare kid. How can I get my family to understand that her kid is a nightmare?
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[@threadtales77]

UPDATE :
WAITAH for forgiving but not forgetting my family for blaming me for what my sister did? (TITLE)
My sister abandoned her 5 year old son a little less than 2 weeks ago and fled. Police are looking for her, but she hasn't been found yet. My nephew is with my parents and is in therapy.
When that first happened, my parents were quick to blame me because I had refused to babysit the kid in the past and the weekend before my sister ultimately abandoned him. They think had I babysat him that day, she wouldn't have fled.
I've been staying with my friends since then. And... Oh my god it's chill here. They're young parents with a baby, and yet it's chill here. Everyone is happy, they talk things out when there issues, they work together. I've met both parents of my friends, and they're nice and polite.
Obviously I don't know what goes on behind closed doors, but I have seen some bickering and they always find a way to resolve it.
Growing up, my parents always argued a lot, my siblings were always loud and cruel to each other at times, and there always had to be someone to blame. If you were the person who was blamed, you were insulted and shunned for a while, then they would apologize. You were always expected to forgive and forget.
My parents are trying to apologize to me about their blowout at me regarding my sister, and I can understand their initial feelings. I'm willing to forgive, but I know my family will also expect me to forget, but I can't forget. I don't think I can forget this whole situation.
So I'm wondering if I would be the asshole if I chose to forgive them, but refused to forget this whole thing?
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[@Maninawig]

@@threadtales77 on this regard, no. The issue is that the parents taught their kids to act without accouability. The parents don't think they need to grow cause "you forgave me already," which is exactly how the sister is acting now. Especially with the child, this treatment doesn't solve anything, but that's all the sis knows how to do.
So they can't get away with just asking you to forgive their outburst. They must hold themselves accountable for teaching their children such bad habits, and work to better themselves. Only then can forgetting be considered.

[@Maninawig]

My heart goes out to that boy. As for the family, they need to start blaming themselves as it sounds like OP is the only one who cared enough to call her sister's abilism out.
And in this case, I will not spout about caretaker fatigue, as the sister is just a horrible person whose mad her actions have consequences and her child isn't perfect.

[@threadtales77]

UPDATE PINNED IN THE COMMENTS

[@Maninawig]

@@threadtales77 thanks.

[@Buldogg345]

How in the hell are child abandonment charges not being pressed against her? No matter what OP says, my heart goes to that kid and I wish the worst for her sister.

[@SnowyWolborg]

Because she quit her job, sold her house and ran off. Nobody knows where she is.

[@threadtales77]

UPDATE PINNED IN THE COMMENTS

[@SnowyWolborg]

The nephew did not choose to be this way, but the sister absolutely chose to be a garden tool behind her husband's back and a deadbeat. Running away with a new guy is not going to change anything. Unfortunately, this kind of ableism is not at uncommon in parents who don't want to acknowledge the reality that their genetics created a child with mental health issues.

[@threadtales77]

UPDATE PINNED IN THE COMMENTS

[@kilamkam]

She literally left a note saying she deserves a normal kid.. They really think she wouldn't have done this if Op babysat for her that one day?....

[@threadtales77]

UPDATE PINNED IN THE COMMENTS

[@legiontepes3474]

Nta. Also, damn, the sister is a whole package. A cheater, a bad mother, and a heartless person. Everyone but op and the child is the ah. Here. Her family sucks hard.

[@codyjones8153]

*Where's The Video With The Rest Of The Updates!*