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I'm really sorry for what is happening with OP. It's a tough situation, and I wish there was more that could be done to help. But in which country is divorce not legal? It's surprising to think that there are still places where people are trapped in unhappy marriages without the option of divorce. In such cases, it's even more important for communities and legal systems to provide support and alternatives for those who are suffering.

The only reason this can happen soon after the wedding is because she never loved him. The only countries forbidding divorce are The Vatican and The Phillipines. Most likely he's from The Phillipines due to the bigger population compared to The Vatican.

Sorry to hear, op. Know it's not your fault. Just walk away and start over.

I mean the kid is innocent in all this but also this kid is way too small to remember much. I rather take the husband and friends to cleaner and take the child away but its on op whether they wanted it or not 😢

Oh well

F-ing pathetic.

I've said it a million times and i'll say it again. Accidently grabbing the pepper shaker instead of the salt shaker, that's a mistake. Cheating on your partner for TWO consecutive years and endangering their health because you're also doing so unprotected, is not a mistake, it's a conscious act with multiple ongoing decisions made time and time again that hurt another person and she did not care. She still doesn't care about him. She cares about herself and what she can get from others.

Get DNA. She's probably been doing it all along. He's an idiot for staying.

Long answer: NEVER!!!!!!! Short answer: NO!!! I bet that kid isn't even OP's

Revenge is a dish best served cold. - Annie

OP: What should i do? Well, teach your daughter not to get pregnant early in her teens

So... he has such little respect for himself that he willingly risked getting an STI as well as another man's DNA on his body (if she and her AP were not using condoms) just to scratch an itch with the same narcissistic woman who not only kept him starved for affection but also shamed him for self-gratification without her permission? He's a train wreck of a human being and he desperately needs space away from her and therapy to regain his dignity. The average person would be absolutely repulsed at the thought of being offered consolation sex after not only witnessing his/her partner's infidelity in person, but also confirming a 6 month relationship as well. Unless he grows a backbone, he and his "potential" son are in for a world of hurt at her selfish hands.

Cheaters can have remorse and the "once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater" is a bunch of bullshit. Things absolutely can be forgiven and get better. But this does not seem like one of those situations. We dont know the whole story and tbh it doesnt sound like OP knows either, but as of rn, this sounds doomed to fail. After pregnancy recovery, why didnt she start initiating with her husband again?

Dude, the second she made a big deal about a fricking certain time; red flags should have went off.

That went south so fast

"CULPAE POENAE PAR ESTO." "LET THE PUNISHMENT FIT THE CRIME" "VENI. VIDI. VICI." "I CAME. I SAW. I CONQUERED." "WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND. SOMETIMES YOU GET WHAT'S COMING AROUND.... AND SOMETIMES YOU ARE WHAT'S COMING AROUND." "HEAVEN HAS NO RAGE LIKE LOVE TO HATRED TURNED, NOR HELL A FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED." "THE MIND IS IT'S OWN PLACE AND IN ITSELF CAN MAKE A HEAV’N OF HELL, A HELL OF HEAV’N." "IT WAS THE WONT OF THE IMMORTAL GODS SOMETIMES TO GRANT PROSPERITY AND LONG IMPUNITY TO MEN WHOSE CRIMES THEY WERE MINDED TO PUNISH IN ORDER THAT A COMPLETE REVERSE OF FORTUNE MIGHT MAKE THEM SUFFER MORE BITTERLY."

*Where's The Video With The Updates!*

ONE DNA TEST COMING RIGHT UP!!!

NTA, but I pity the kid

So sexless marriage plus infidelity do not equal dovorce anymore??

He deserves that however his son doesn't.

NTA

Karma. 🤷 Yeah, Annie went hardcore, but cheaters gonna cheat. OP will likely cheat again, given the opportunity.

He's the absolute AH. It doesn't matter that she tricked him into having a child. "Her baby" No it's his baby too and he should step up and be a Man.

Meh, he ruined his credibility. Of course, he isn't believed even when he is technically telling the truth. He already had no credibility but then proceeded to place himself in a compromising situation. Maybe, someone would give him the benefit of the doubt if he had a clear record, but if you see your otherwise healthy dog dead in the yard and a poisonous snake next to it, are you going to wonder what happened or are you going to assume the snake bit it, because that is what it does, it's the snakes nature to bite when it feels threatened? This dude is a liar and a cheater. It's what he does it's his nature. So when you see evidence of him cheating, do you believe his story, or do you assume he'll just lie about his cheating again? As far as people are saying, he shouldn't have his kid taken away. True, but he'll go to court and get some access to the child.

Your wife never loved you. That's actually normal: most married women do not love their husbands. But she disrespected and mistreated you, and that is intolerable. Remember, you are not responsible for how you feel, but you are absolutely responsible for how you act. If you cannot divorce her, you can certainly leave her. Just move away, block her number, and have nothing further to do with her. If you can get an annulment, do it.

Why would he leave the house though why not go to a different room

What country is the op from ?

How would the message be deleted if he didn’t want that ?

The old saying that women want the wedding but they don't want marriage rings very true with this one.

OP should just get divorced, or possibly annulled. She's a defective wife, I wouldn't take it personally. Be grateful there were no kids.

He should just start dating again then.

NO!!!!

Why is it SA to not wear a condom as agreed upon, but not for faking an IUD? Also, Reddit: would you say the same to ab*rtong a r@pe baby?

Sounds like she needs to put her big girl pants on and learn to care for you.

Divorce

NTA. OP is under no obligation to even get involved with this situation. He literally does not even live on the same continent as his ex-wife anymore and will never interact with the child she conceived without his consent. The ex-wife specifically said she would seek no financial aid from him, so she does not get to change her mind just because her family business fell apart and she no longer has access to the same kind of disposable income that she once did.

“I feel bad for him tbh” No you don’t because you said this: “The child existing in the first place is the bigger problem here” That’s a truly F’d thing to say. His existence itself is a problem? This kind of thing is what makes OP a piece of sh*t right along with his ex. This sentiment where the circumstances of his birth, which he had no control over, means he doesn’t have as much of a right to exist as anyone else. Seen it in plenty of stories of an unwanted child, often times even worse than this, where the commentators say absolutely vile things about the child and treat them like they are subhuman.

If he was a man that was raped and got pregnant no one would question her not wanting contact with the child. It’s so stupid men don’t get anywhere near that consideration

Nta. That's assault in many states. She took away his consent by lying to him.

So OP gets sick, insists her husband go to the concert with her friend even when he says he wants to cancel, then gets insecure, invades his privacy, and accuses him of infidelity, only for it to turn out that he was sexually harassed by her friend and felt it was better to hide that from the OP than to talk with her about it… Yeah, I’m going to assume this isn’t a one time thing. I bet OP is jealous and insecure a lot, and her husband has to swallow his feelings all the time to make her feel better

NTA op is not wrong here he didn't consent and op's ex should have set up a trust fund and she's in the wrong here anyway and good on op for foucusing on he's family

Another Simp from Simpville

Get a dna test and do not ever forgive a cheating fefail period! If she screws around one time she’s gone

He seriously let this go on for 5 years and hasn't already divorced her.

HAHAHAHA! Nah OP, I don't give a sh!t. Get faqed!

I’d pathetic were a person it would be a op

Not gonna say the guy was right for what he did, But the ex is no better than him either, I mean did she even consider the lives of the child and mother that she ruined by this? Not to mention now there's a possibility of the guy going to her house and murdering her in blind rage, Congratulations now you're at risk of having a bounty on your head thanks to the so called "revenge" plan and on top of that you could've, Or may have already ruined the lives of two other individuals that had nothing to do with what he did, 4 entire lives threatened, One of them possibly being your own just because you wanted to be petty, I'm pretty sure you already hurt his ego enough by cutting him out of your life without explanation, You should've just let him move on and he would've lead to his downfall by his own hands. A cheater is a cheater and sooner or later their actions will come back to bite them with nobody but themselves to blame, Again not saying what he did was justified, But let's admit the ex wasn't any better now, Was she?

Nta. She probably cheated since the start of the relationship. Never forgive never forget. Once a cheater always a cheater.

He needs a DNA test, she began cheating when her behavior suddenly switched over intimacy. It’s likely her lovers baby