Comfort to Chaos: Still Risking After 12 Years of Marriage

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 327

  • @ValeriaLipovetsky
    @ValeriaLipovetsky  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    Have you ever thought about killing your significant other, or am I the only one 👀😂
    If you enjoyed this episode, please like this video and subscribe to my channel for more Not Alone! Your support means the world to me 🫶 Thank you!

    • @annlatham
      @annlatham 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      YES multiple times 🤣🤣

    • @MegaTelenovela
      @MegaTelenovela 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@ValeriaLipovetsky my husband is like Gary with most of what was said in this episode. Except he sometimes thinks to kill himself when he's had enough of me... 🙄
      Happy anniversary 🎉🎈 btw

    • @FREAKSYKO
      @FREAKSYKO หลายเดือนก่อน

      ולריה אני מתה עלייך ❤

  • @reneebaldwin4666
    @reneebaldwin4666 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +90

    Whoa whoa whoa…Gary literally said he thinks HE is the reason their marriage is so good. Valeria is the main reason why the marriage has lasted. It took him until he was 40 to find a successful relationship. Valeria’s wisdom, dedication, commitment, loyalty, growth mindset, patience, grace, etc are the reasons this marriage works.

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Absolutely agree.

  • @Fverheijden
    @Fverheijden 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +118

    I think he feels intimidated by her and he punishes her for it. Her communication skills are amazing. She refuses to be provoked which is hard. I know men like this because I was in relationships like this.

    • @wistuvida7146
      @wistuvida7146 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      I think Valeria said she got married when she was 21, I am not sure. Even so, I think she has a lot more emotional maturity compared to Gary. Her level of comprehension is higher. But I think she still doesn't realize certain behaviors around her or doesn't want to realize them.

  • @matacoronamg
    @matacoronamg 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +141

    Both Valeria and Gary are wise humans, but I think Gary has a gigantic ego invisible to him but very visible to everyone else. This doesn´t make him a bad person or a less successful one, but it does make him come across as condescending & dismissive.
    Being humble doesn't mean you can't be proud of your achievements, it means you know you don't know everything and are open to teachings in every interaction you have. I believe Gary´s take on humbleness has made him go the complete opposite direction.

    • @IamWanderwoman
      @IamWanderwoman 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      On point about the ego!! That's EXACTLY what it is. When you put yourself out on the internet and people tell you something, it's a good idea not to dismiss it with "oh these miserable people are so funny, they must not be in relationships" and actually look within but he doesn't appear to be capable of deep thought. Or self reflection.

    • @IamWanderwoman
      @IamWanderwoman 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I didn't get to the humbleness part, I couldn't take watching this for more than 5 minutes.

  • @baghashvili
    @baghashvili 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +212

    I’ve been following Valeria for years and have watched many of her videos with Gary too. The dynamics has definitely changed in the last few videos or so I noticed. Gary sounds quite passive-aggressive, a bit pissed off too, which wasn’t the case in earlier years. I love Valeria and hope she feels fulfilled in her career and relationship🙏❤️

    • @astridmrx8194
      @astridmrx8194 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Same feelings 🙏

    • @carmenfernandez9845
      @carmenfernandez9845 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Right???

    • @mizzhelloo
      @mizzhelloo 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

      Yeah he keeps on implying she’s angry but HE sounds like the angry one… 😳

    • @shrimpman8422
      @shrimpman8422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He's holding onto a ghost 👻, she's now financially dependent ( see you later, old short baldy )

    • @sandyfree4423
      @sandyfree4423 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@mizzhelloo absolutely

  • @petitejullie
    @petitejullie 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +270

    I feel like Valeria outgrew Gary in so many ways.. this is what I noticed lately at least..

    • @zelnaher1657
      @zelnaher1657 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Kindly elaborate..

    • @mizzhelloo
      @mizzhelloo 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

      I agree…
      Gary knows it too,
      hence him being so passive- aggressive lately lol

    • @swarnajoshi4571
      @swarnajoshi4571 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I agree.

    • @swarnajoshi4571
      @swarnajoshi4571 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I agree.

    • @LittleMew133
      @LittleMew133 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      She reads a lot. And reflects a lot, shown via her stories of looking through others' lens.

  • @sunkissed104
    @sunkissed104 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +73

    These episodes are so intriguing to me. I feel like I’d be so triggered by Gary if I was married to him, but the way Valeria responds to him truly shows grace and patience. Even when he questioned her on the term she used, she was open to learning. I learned a lot from both of them here ❤

    • @LittleMew133
      @LittleMew133 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I really think people have distinct tastes in people. There is no universal.

    • @IamWanderwoman
      @IamWanderwoman 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm from their culture and know men like this so I think I'm EXTRA annoyed with him for that reason lmao

  • @julianitz7054
    @julianitz7054 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +62

    “We’re in the top 1% and that is because of me” 😅 just that standalone statement and how he says that kinda feels like he’s taking ALL the credit for where Valeria is today..

    • @lavavass12
      @lavavass12 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Had to rewind and listen again, but yea he said that, which is absolutely ridiculous, since she is the star of the show and we all know it.

    • @shrimpman8422
      @shrimpman8422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      He thinks he can buy his way through life. Now she has her own money, he's worthless

  • @Driada91
    @Driada91 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +216

    Yeah Gary's tone still sounds patronizing...and even insecure...

    • @shelby6
      @shelby6 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +45

      The screenshots of the comments is so weird to do, and the whole vibe is soooo off and I'm only a few minutes in 🤢

    • @IntegrityMeansAll
      @IntegrityMeansAll 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      I don’t get why she’s with him, he is so strange (apart from his looks etc) but guess she had certain reasons, just hard to understand

    • @IntegrityMeansAll
      @IntegrityMeansAll 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      @@shelby6💯💯he’s so weird

    • @rosebud0391
      @rosebud0391 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      I think he is a particular guy and not the right taste for a lot of people but I actually find his personality very similar to mine. I turn a lot of people off. I have every good intention but it is just not received well by a lot of people and I have come to peace with that. All you can do it be yourself.

    • @nataliaamos6887
      @nataliaamos6887 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      @@rosebud0391 I agree with you. From what I can tell he does not request for much except to be accepted, respected, and admired. He's there for Valeria, her family, and their children in ways none of us could ever understand. I think questioning her (and some folks think it sounds patronizing) is a fundamental part of their relationship. I could be wrong but it's almost a dance: she shares, he questions/tries to understand her. He shares, she admires. They're both curious about one another and each other's wealth of knowledge. Also, the questioning and clarifying probably comes from a places of curiosity considering that she's not a native english speaker, she's a self-educated woman for the most part, she's constantly studying and learning, and he wants to make sure he's keeping up with all the information she is acquiring. We're lucky to see a couple who posts their commitment to one another even if they disagree about feathers, and although Valeria feels overwhelmed (which makes sense- she's an influencer among other things) , he's 100% the backbone to their family. I literally love a couple that debates and tries to understand one another. I think as their followers, we should give them both grace. We don't see what happens behind the scenes, and the ways they are probably there for one another.

  • @life4share272
    @life4share272 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +72

    Basically Valeria is right about everything and Gary is so patronizing about her views. She listens and he never agrees. Valeria should hold her own a bit more and stop saying "you're right" when he's not right. She obviously thinks he is not right but wants to please him.Also, the fact that it triggers women to hear a man be patronizing doesn't mean it's OK. It's triggering for a reason...

    • @shrimpman8422
      @shrimpman8422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes she will be leaving the old short bald man soon, she has her own money now, so he has nothing to offer

    • @IamWanderwoman
      @IamWanderwoman 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@shrimpman8422 I mean... They have kids and who knows, she might be happy with him. I wouldn't be, but it doesn't mean she isn't.

  • @gloramanuilova4970
    @gloramanuilova4970 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +79

    I remember in the tag husband video from years ago, when Valeria started to tell the story about how they met and Gary interrupted and said something (paraphrasing) along the lines of "Let me tell it, I tell it better"...it just made me cringe internally. Coming from a similar background, I'm used to men like this. I was raised by one and was married to one (I'm now divorced). Gary may be different than how he comes across on video, and if Valeria is content in her marriage (currently...once kids are grown and flown, who knows) great for her. But he sure comes across as condescending and "icky," for lack of a better word.

  • @justanillusion20
    @justanillusion20 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +98

    He does sound toxic... I respect him, but something's definitely off in the way he talks to her... I also think she's emotionally bypassing it, suppressing...

    • @irisdanagher
      @irisdanagher 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Maybe Valeria is more composed on the vlog than Gary. I think she is the alpha and hides it. A man like Gary wouldn't last with a weak woman

    • @justanillusion20
      @justanillusion20 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      @@irisdanagher I think the opposite: a man like Gary wouldn't last with an alpha and that's exactly what the problem is: she's becoming the alpha. Ofc, that's just my opinion, we can never fully know their truth ❤️

    • @AkA-sw7rl
      @AkA-sw7rl 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I cannot even imagine a lifestyle where I go well I just left the keys in that brand new car you bought me. It got stolen whatever… Who cares? Which then means in manifesting terms that I never will live that lifestyle also 😂 it’s literally too far away from me.

    • @shrimpman8422
      @shrimpman8422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I agree she's now the alpha and he's the beta. He's spouting shit and she's not listening, will give them months until it's over

    • @justanillusion20
      @justanillusion20 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@shrimpman8422 I also think they are now using the situation of Gary being 'condemned' for talking down to her and keep doing it on purpose to increase engagement... It might be part of the marketing strategy, those people are marketing magicians... Nevertheless, I really like them both and hope they're happy.❤️

  • @aleksandraadamczyk6433
    @aleksandraadamczyk6433 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +111

    Gary, please, let Valeria finish her sentences, create more space in a conversation, it is impossible to feel relax during listening. 🙏
    Happy Anniversary you two! 🎉

    • @LittleMew133
      @LittleMew133 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      It really does feel like a debate 😅

    • @shrimpman8422
      @shrimpman8422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      It's over for these two clowns

    • @IamWanderwoman
      @IamWanderwoman 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      So tense!!

  • @sethm3856
    @sethm3856 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    The beginning was yikes, not gonna lie. Gary starts off in a bad mood and decides to obsessively tell Valeria she's in a bad mood. projecting 101.

  • @anbonnet5985
    @anbonnet5985 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +50

    Valeria outgrew Gary in so many ways. I think he’s so toxic because he wants to keep her on his level. However, he doesn’t even see she’s far above it, and waaay gone. I don’t see it lasting, unless she stays in it for the kids

    • @shrimpman8422
      @shrimpman8422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      100% agree, great comment. He is now a side show freak 😜

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Both of you two posted great comments.

  • @alicjawieczorek5615
    @alicjawieczorek5615 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +69

    This, to me, looks like a person losing their ground. Gary shows to be full of insecurities.
    This conversation felt filled with gaslighting, picking on you, lookig/begging for admiration, arrogance and belief of his importance. Those traits describe a narcissist, not an Alpha male that Gary advertises himself to be.
    Valeria, sending you a ton of warmth and strength. Trust in your intuition and remember that YOU became the person you are and you dont owe this success to anyone. Take care of yourself, be gentle and slow down whenever you need it. Urgency doesn't go well with mental well-being. Youve got this!🧚🏼‍♀️🤍

    • @shrimpman8422
      @shrimpman8422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes time to leave

    • @cg8977
      @cg8977 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      He suddenly finds that the child he married grew up and he doesnt like it :/

  • @annal7684
    @annal7684 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    “Urgency, urgency, urgency”…She has so much on her shoulders…I hope such “urgency” will not provoke another panic attack. Please take care of yourself, Valeria 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️

  • @annmarie6732
    @annmarie6732 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    Valeria, you carry yourself with such grace. I love the way you bring depth to topics. You are extremely articulate and intelligent. Continued success to you ❤

  • @sibej
    @sibej 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

    Sadly, no matter how many words he throws at us to cover it up, we just know he never made a woman climax.

    • @shrimpman8422
      @shrimpman8422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      What's worse is that she took the D knowing this. Now she can get fresh D that can cause squirting, let's see how this ends

  • @EllyzGoodwill
    @EllyzGoodwill 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +128

    Nobody is perfect. Relationships are hard, But I've figured out that there's always a way to fix things when there's a problem. Five years back, my wife and I were on the brink of divorce because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to fix them. It was hard, but we made it through.

    • @EllyzGoodwill
      @EllyzGoodwill 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Releasing someone you love is always a daunting task, but in my situation, I had the support of a spiritual advisor who prevented the disintegration of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

    • @EllyzGoodwill
      @EllyzGoodwill 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Welcome... You should

    • @annlatham
      @annlatham 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I have seen this exact comment all over social media. I don’t know if it’s someone using your words or if 100 other people think just like you.

  • @loveleyeyes1654
    @loveleyeyes1654 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +97

    I actually enjoy your and Gary's dynamic, but the clip of Gary speaking on sensuality and his response in this podcast is not a good take. To say that a fundamental part of your partner's life experiences is "nonsense" is sad. This is coming from someone with a happy relationship of 12+ years. To laugh it off as "inexperienced young people" or "triggered" when people are showing genuine concerns, is dismissive and condisending to your audience. If many people are upset about it, either you didn't explain yourself well or you may be in the wrong.

    • @Esssssy
      @Esssssy 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      May I ask where the original clip you’re referring to is from, about sensuality?

    • @loveleyeyes1654
      @loveleyeyes1654 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @Esssssy They discuss a clip from another podcast/shorts

    • @Esssssy
      @Esssssy 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@loveleyeyes1654 yeah im looking for that one

    • @marip9256
      @marip9256 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      THIS!

    • @annywind7609
      @annywind7609 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Very well-said, thank you!

  • @zelnaher1657
    @zelnaher1657 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    I think what i don't like about Garry. Is that he is always questioning Valeria's thoughts and statements.
    It's okay to disagree and not say anything and let someone finish their thoughts.
    On the other hand she let's him finish what he is saying. And in a way i feel like she has learned to handle him. Like the way she changed the subject from horoscopes to character, like i don't want to back & forth with this man on this issue. I know him.
    But it would be nice to see him validate her despite disagreeing with her.

  • @May-tr7ms
    @May-tr7ms 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +48

    Not sure if it's just me but sometimes I feel like Valeria's husband tries to speak for Valeria. Like he has her all figured out. At least that's the impression I get and centred heavily around benefiting commercially from sharing her personal experience. Specifically her childhood. Maybe that's the price you pay for being a public/or social figure. The motivation is for people to resonate with you for commercial gain or benefit. I mean he does admit he used to come from that background so it's not going to go away. He is just a person who likes to beg more and being in business it's all about selling yourself. Whereas I'm attracted to more qualitative measures and intrinsic value and the benefit to others.

  • @4514Mars
    @4514Mars 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +121

    Valeria, your modesty is beautiful ❤ and Garry is so full of himself, constantly bragging and showing off and that’s so American of him☺️ I like YOU more

    • @user-lt1jd1ye3v
      @user-lt1jd1ye3v 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Uhhh I’m an American and I do not do what this dude does.. we do not claim him. Not all Americans are a monolith🙄

    • @xsugarhiiox
      @xsugarhiiox 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      He's canadian lol

    • @shrimpman8422
      @shrimpman8422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@user-lt1jd1ye3vonly Gary claims Gary

  • @electricityofmind6300
    @electricityofmind6300 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

    Gary is incredibly insecure and self-centered, gaslighting of Valeria on steroids, can't stand the focus being on his wife instead of himself. Any sign she's better at sth and he gets wildly triggered and dismissive of her (which happens all the time, literally every sentence because he's insecure). All he wants is a docile silent wife, that he controls and "puts into her place". He would never go work with a psychologist because he gives off angry andrewtate vibes. There is no way he's wrong, about anything. He has to fix "other men" and he does not even entertain the option he has things to fix in himself psychologically. If gaslighting was a sport he'd be a champ. And he is the wrong type to invite on sensitive psychological topics because he is not self-aware at all. There is a reason everyone in the comment section finds him unfit for the role. I am even afraid of Valeria's safety, he gives off wife beater vibes. Valeria is tiptoeing around him, and looks exhausted having to navigate his triggered state all the freakin' time. She looks unhappy. He is sucking her life energy. Geez what an enrgy vampire. He can make money and muscles and that's about it. If I look at him and his presence then at the "Diary of a CEO" guy type it's like two parallel universes. You can be a powerful CEO on top of your field and still be kind and listening. Just don't be a jerk Gary. It's simple. Your wife loves you. Face your demons and don't lose that sh*t for God's sake!

    • @biancamiraprilia
      @biancamiraprilia 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yeah steven barlett is a top notch

    • @biancamiraprilia
      @biancamiraprilia 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I love the energy that men gives

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      You said it perfectly.

  • @Pinglester
    @Pinglester 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +65

    FEATHER NONSENSE UPDATE: People's issue when Gary said that the feather tickling was "nonsense', and probably why people are so triggered is because it felt like Gary was diminishing the importance of a new experience to create intimacy and give pleasure in a different format, hence canceling Valeria's need and desire to experience pleasure. AKA: It just made Gary sound like he's not pleasing Valeria in bed, and neither is he willing to pick up on the hint.
    But hey, if Valeria is totally fine with Gary's way of being, than that's all that matters!

  • @Shem274
    @Shem274 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +33

    Valeria, your self growth and consciousness is so apparent. It's a pleasure watching your podcasts and hearing how empowered and grown you are. I'm so proud of who you are. You are so valuable 💗 💕

  • @jessicanickel-nv9sq
    @jessicanickel-nv9sq 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +53

    Seems she can handle Gary . He speaks his mind . So does she. It’s called differing opinions and the art of talking through it. That’s marriage . That’s love and respect .

  • @CHRISTINEFOX-b5i
    @CHRISTINEFOX-b5i 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    Oh, Valeria, your husband needs time out in a kibbutz... he has never come across as a protective alpha male, but rather a controlling one. His masculine energy seeks to control in a myriad of ways because it is a mask for his own insecurities. I am a very feminine energy female, having been married to an alpha, but he would never use the assortment of tones Gary uses. What is the point of his alpha-ness if he does not use it to protect you in a loving way. I know as a married couple you have your own couple-language, but I suspect if he used some of these tones on outsiders, his "FRIEND" numbers would suffer. I would never him at my dinner table because he is way too brusque. Just my thoughts.

    • @LittleMew133
      @LittleMew133 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Good points

    • @shrimpman8422
      @shrimpman8422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Really good comment. He's not an alpha male

    • @anda266
      @anda266 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think him being brusque has a lot to do with his slavic roots...

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      You said it perfectly.

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@anda266Yeah, way to make excuses for him. I guess we can all find something big having to do with our ethnicity to explain our bad behavior. I hope you know I am being sarcastic.

  • @mramey2704
    @mramey2704 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    I love Valeria's views and ways of explaining her points. Both of you actually, the way you communicate is amazing!

  • @AmandaBeeLove
    @AmandaBeeLove 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Valeria is so mature and strong omg
    I have much to learn just from watching this
    I learn more from how she carries herself then the words they speak
    Holy moly this is educational
    I feel she is an inspiration
    Her patience
    Omg I’d be flipping out because I would feel threatened or possibly take it as an attack his constant interruption etc

  • @divyagiri1772
    @divyagiri1772 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Over the years i have learnt a lot from Gary and Valerias relationship. I think it has given me a lot of perspective that i value very much. I remember watching husband tag and loving the way you communicated and valued each other's opinions. Love to you guys.

  • @liliasidorenko5751
    @liliasidorenko5751 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

    People are so used to see those fake lives , fake relationships on instagram that forgot that there are real people out there ..!
    Love that Gary disagrees with her ! Fun to watch them! It’s called real life, people!
    I don’t understand why women are trying to feminize the men and then complain that there are no real men out there…
    Gary is strong, loving and caring!

  • @Allthathingss
    @Allthathingss 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

    The way he keeps interrupting her...
    She's out in about 2-3years. Bet!

    • @justanillusion20
      @justanillusion20 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I don't think she'll ever be able to acknowledge a marriage 'failure'...

    • @shrimpman8422
      @shrimpman8422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      2 - 3 months, this is Stockholm syndrome

    • @jsan5878
      @jsan5878 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Leave them alone 🤡

  • @Pinglester
    @Pinglester 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +63

    Also Gary's comment in minute 30:45 is wild! Could he be more full of himself?!

    • @360Jelly
      @360Jelly 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I get it but he has a point! It truly is because of him. Valeria flexes on him in different ways, her beauty/modesty/etc. They both are compliments to each other :)

    • @Pinglester
      @Pinglester 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@360Jelly That's a sweet way to see it

    • @heatherheaney4060
      @heatherheaney4060 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      really? i dont see that at all.

  • @jowiens32
    @jowiens32 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +52

    I think you’re right about the comments being a reflection of people’s own wounds. Every woman has likely had an experience or many with a controlling man. Could be a father, partner, boss, neighbor, doctor etc. None of us know Gary, or your banter as a couple. My husband and I also have a banter that others have said they find mean. The thing is, our sense of humor is that we make fun of one another and our selves, and like you said we know which buttons not to push. You found the mesh shoes comments not a big deal, if not amusing. That’s your confidence in yourself and your relationship to be able to take that with a giggle. I would too. I’d likely torment my hubby a little more and add something else I know he’d find ridiculous. It’s just our way of having fun loving flirty banter.
    Personally my trigger in listening to you as a couple, is Gary’s listening skills. He interrupts you often, and you haven’t finished your thought. And active listening would mirror back to you what you just said in an effort to further understand you, but instead he responds and “tells” you something vs. listening to understand. As a woman, and at my age, I’m very sensitive to my voice being disregarded and talked over. I was brought up to always be polite, and that silenced my voice. I grew up in a home of interrupters and no healthy listening of any kind. So those are my triggers with the way you are spoken to by Gary, and with my own husband. But perhaps it doesn’t bother you at all. I think it’s not ok to judge others’ relationships especially when you haven’t known them personally.

  • @CHRISTINEFOX-b5i
    @CHRISTINEFOX-b5i 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    Sorry, Valeria, it is me again. Gary is just so full of it. He is not capable of deep exploring thoughts. He just needs to play with his sword.

  • @mizzhelloo
    @mizzhelloo 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    15:04
    This is so funny 😂
    Gary is spiraling lmaoo
    The more Valeria grows in her womanhood/ confidence/ business/etc. the more nit-picky he will be lol
    I believe Valeria is aware of this too and is trying to be patient with him but he needs to get it together . 😂
    The poor guy can’t even help himself. 😭

  • @May-tr7ms
    @May-tr7ms 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +38

    It's fine to have a difference of opinion Gary just sounds like he doesn't have enough empathy. Maybe with age you font have enough patience. I get it but take for instance when he keeps pushing Valeria to give context - seems like he doesn't give her space to form her own opinion. It's like a battle of hurry up, i'm right, you're wrong and we can never do wrong. E.g. having parents like us. We are wiser and above people. In business you probably need confidence and arrogance. Not sure. Don't take it personally but constructive feedback for Gary to work on. There's always self improvement in all of us.

    • @shrimpman8422
      @shrimpman8422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It's over for Gary

  • @aureliagvb498
    @aureliagvb498 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This is exactly what I needed to love and understand Gary. Thank you a million times for this content, it really heals and saves souls❤️

  • @rebeccafalkner2876
    @rebeccafalkner2876 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    I feel like I have a love / hate relationship with Gary and I think Valeria does too 😂❤

    • @Cindy12345ful
      @Cindy12345ful 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      That is why she said she wants to kill him 😂

  • @aklaws
    @aklaws 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love this type of authentic conversation!!!! People on social media are so used to seeing highlight reels they have perfectionist expectations of reality when reality is all about dealing with differences with grace, love and respect. Happy Anniversary!💓

  • @kimgirl702
    @kimgirl702 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    The conflict resolution is so key, and I'm glad Gary pointed that out for all the people that just didn't know. We celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary (plus two years dating) the other day, and I told my husband, "18 years of working it out!" 😅❤😄

  • @mariaokhapkina6971
    @mariaokhapkina6971 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    To me it sounds like Gary can be uncomfortable with direct expressions of love and appreciation, so he tends to argue them away / start a debate, which can sound dismissive but it's just general discomfort around these things.

    • @Petitalchemist
      @Petitalchemist 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think I can see that too....

  • @salomechkhikvadze
    @salomechkhikvadze 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Valeria is such a soft, beautiful soul but Garry is very insecure and low key he's jealous of Valeria. He always dismiss Valeria's ideas and tries to underline his success 1000 times. I think Gary looks like a perfect guy but he must be so annoying at home daily, always tries to vocalize his ''philosophy'' and makes you feel bad about yourself and your ideas, that's clearly shown in any show they are together.
    He always needs this gratification from Valeria, she literally said that I wanted that throughout our 12 years relationship only twice and he goes but I always buy you and your mom LV bags... He needs to realize that emotional support is more important for a woman than just a plain gifts but Gary also looks super materialistic in a negative way. Overall, the guy needs a therapy, he's beyond insecure. no offense but as a virgo I am honest.
    Valeria, I love you.

  • @reneebaldwin4666
    @reneebaldwin4666 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Why does Gary seem so pissed off this whole conversation, he always has a chip on his shoulder. His ego and pride are just too much..

  • @elizabethbtobar
    @elizabethbtobar 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I really enjoyed listening to this video. It reminds me of my husband and myself and how we communicate. He also is Canadian like Gary, I think a lot of Americans don’t understand the way canadians communicate. It’s a real thing, and has taken me years to understand it, but it’s just a Canadian way of communicating. I can tell Gary absolutely adores Valeria. He’s opinionated and so is she. And btw, he’s very smart and has a lot to offer to Valeria’s content. Happy anniversary!

    • @dadada8464
      @dadada8464 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      neither of them is canadian, gary is ukranian and she's russian

    • @MilenaClairmont
      @MilenaClairmont 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@dadada8464Gary grew up in Canada.

    • @graceless6103
      @graceless6103 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      it's really not about being canadian. Gary is just rude

  • @BySamWithLove
    @BySamWithLove 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    He sounds so dated in how he speaks to her and responds to her. If he loves her as much as he says he does, I hope he’s able to manage that massive ego. Because Gary is a lovely guy and has a lot of good intentions.

  • @flowerfreedom7168
    @flowerfreedom7168 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    You are too good for him and you know it .

  • @johow1518
    @johow1518 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love how gary and valeria are real and genuine with each other .thank You we need to see how to relate to each other and feel safe and open without being hostile ❤

  • @elisazanelli2004
    @elisazanelli2004 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    *sighs* “you’re going to husband jail 😞” KILLED MEEEE AHAHHAHA

  • @cristinavanputten9812
    @cristinavanputten9812 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Gary seems more influenced by external factors where Valeria seems much more introspective. I have a similar dynamics with my partner I think because maybe men evolved a bit differently in order to "take care" of a household in a different way than us. I think it is important to learn from each other... I do feel it comes more natural to me than my partner but then again I am biased😂 I do agree with Valeria that love is possible despite our differences...

    • @atavi7322
      @atavi7322 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      finally a balanced opinion, so many comments hating on Gary😂

  • @mahaajami6933
    @mahaajami6933 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +111

    Gary should work on his tone……. the way he talks is very provocative to me✌️✌️
    On another issue, I don’t see anything wrong with Gary’s objection to your “mesh” shoes.

    • @birdman7151
      @birdman7151 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂😂😂

    • @bt1929
      @bt1929 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      His tone is fine ! U just don’t get it .

  • @KaMiQa16
    @KaMiQa16 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    You need to have huuuge ego to hear from everyone how you are full of yourself and still thinking of everyone to be wrong and that only you are entitled to being right and you can't do wrong because you are perfect and only your opinion is right. Huge red flag.

  • @Nikarichi
    @Nikarichi 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Great conversation! Thank you guys for your choice to share your thoughts and open dialogs with the world ❤

  • @audrey-ht1jh
    @audrey-ht1jh 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    he's kind of ... mean here??

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      He's verbally abusive. All the time.

  • @gracehowe3692
    @gracehowe3692 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Valeria is so right about her sons value.

  • @CharlotteMagdeliene
    @CharlotteMagdeliene 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    Poor Gary he’s just not very likable not very good on camera and is just not very sophisticated kind of an oaf but he’s not a jerk

  • @tdoncheva2099
    @tdoncheva2099 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    To Gary’s credit, his perspectives on taking risk are quite refreshing. It is possible that the constant communication and interaction with him, helped Valeria grow to his level, and surpass him in many ways. Which is a positive for both

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Valeria grew on her own and very clearly without him.

  • @erwanpestiaux8241
    @erwanpestiaux8241 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m evolving on my own journey when I listened your conversation!
    There is so much to take from couples conversations I think🙂
    Thank you for sharing your truth unapologetically ❤

  • @pubear7514
    @pubear7514 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    It’s Gary who needs to chill.

  • @magnolia7321
    @magnolia7321 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    “I don’t like to give power to fleeting things” love that

  • @saheehong8977
    @saheehong8977 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    So much love and support for you two!
    There's just something about your videos that just has me watching the full hour and plus minutes. But, I guess Gary was right with the data! My favorite ones are the ones with you and Gary. I respect your voice, powerful yet graceful femininity, and the dynamics you show as a mother and wife and a woman of your own. Just had to say it. Sending much love from Korea!
    P.S. I hope you've eventually got the roses❤😂

  • @DalidaD
    @DalidaD 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I deleted my comment about criticizing Gary and putting Valeria on the pedestal. That was my perception at the beginning of the video, but actually watching it and carefully listening to what they are both saying I want to correct myself and say that they still complement each other and Gary is not what his sometimes arrogant sounding comments make him look like. I hope they will continue evolving together! ❤

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      You should have kept your first comment. 😂

  • @elisazanelli2004
    @elisazanelli2004 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    I’m sorry to say that because I love you guys, but I think that there’s too much pressure between you two, and it all derives from one thing in my opinion: the anxiety to be perfect, to never be wrong, to always be right, wiser and above the rest of the people. It can also be true sometimes, but it is sooo dangerous to feel like “above” people, because you risk to fall from a higher cliff than the other people… just relax and live your life together guys! What’s urgency? Life is about moments together, not accomplishments… God bless you, may Jesus show his peace to you ❤ ps: you have wonderful children

  • @dadada8464
    @dadada8464 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    she's so brain washed that him being an alpha is speaking to her like that Lol

    • @dadada8464
      @dadada8464 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      normal couples fight but it doesn't look like that if its healthy, but he's been with her since she was a child so its expected that she thinks it does

    • @LittleMew133
      @LittleMew133 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      She's from Russia originally. Idk if you have heard of the stereotypical Russian male archetype...

    • @annywind7609
      @annywind7609 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@LittleMew133 I'm Russian. And I find his behaviour insufferable. Not all men in Russia are like that, believe me.

  • @LittleMew133
    @LittleMew133 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Imagine getting gifted a Rangerover, casually. And losing it, also casually.

    • @LittleMew133
      @LittleMew133 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      And 2000 red roses. Where do you even put them all?

  • @caitcamp
    @caitcamp 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Definitely understand Valeria’s caution when it comes to telling Jake the results of the reel. He might be able to handle knowing that, with Gary and her guidance … but it’s also tempting for anyone, let alone a kid whose brain is still developing to be like, “I did this. I’m better than you because of it and this is what’s important now.” Also not remotely the same but in regards to kids and technology, my boyfriend’s son (12 almost 13) got a phone from his mom and grandparents for Christmas. His grades plummeted and there’s a direct correlation because if you’re not on your kids or limiting the use of that stuff they’ll doom scroll like anybody else because it’s addicting. Good on you all for keeping that out of the house with the kids for now!

  • @ivavagic7329
    @ivavagic7329 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    For somebody who does not believe in horoscope, Gary sure does sound like an Aquarius.

  • @gyool
    @gyool 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I knew Valeria from her pregnancy video but Gary wasn't this contentious and passive aggressive. It's not the audience being sensitive, we're pointing out a very glaringly obvious trait that seems disrespectful to both her and also to the audience. He seems like an adolescent who's pissed off and tries to do these micro agressions to dismiss her. To be honest, it's so weird to see him acting this way when initially they were selling themselves as an enviable and loving power couple. Now it's a bickering husband and a wife who has to pretend to not notice the aggression. Painful to watch

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Agree completely.

  • @Bint_S
    @Bint_S 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I sat through the podcast trying to understand Gary but my final straw was his opinion on TRUST. Its actually so emotionally unintelligent to assume trust is unconditional between a couple. You don't automatically trust your partner. Trust is earned and can also be lost.
    Valeria you have your head screwed on well. Don't allow Gary's spin on things create doubt in your convictions

    • @Bint_S
      @Bint_S 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      And also about making decision in life, its deceptive to tell the viewers you did not have doubts about those decisive choices you made just because it worked out well. Its normal and human to have fears but still take the leap of faith.

  • @elaa1934
    @elaa1934 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Gary just said he was angry with his mom for putting too much responsibility on him and no parents should ever do that, que the reel for Jake having a reel with 2.4 million views and it contributes to the family business. I guess we do become our parents, irrespective of our beliefs.

  • @sawdsawdsawdsawdsawdsawd
    @sawdsawdsawdsawdsawdsawd 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I enjoy these episodes so much. My husband and have sort of the same dynamic when it comes to gifts. We both love giving gifts but he is so bad at receiving and keepingthem and I am so bad at saying what I don’t like when someone gives something to me…which has happened 😂😂😂 we are learning how to deal with this. I do not think they have a toxic relationship. They both know how to deal with each other.

  • @LittleMew133
    @LittleMew133 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Your husband is very much like my Mom 😅 she can come off very dismissive in a "get a real problem, fool" kinda way. She often said the same phrasing like "my tone is my tone, and that is how I speak". Learning to read others' moods and emotions has been a real journey for her. My cousin would ask "you're so sweet and she's so strict, are you doing OK?" 😂 no, emotionally I'm not doing ok 😢😂

    • @LittleMew133
      @LittleMew133 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think they are a power couple because they both have strong personalities (ISTP E6 & ISTJ E3) that can hold against each other. I doubt a partner with soft personality would fit either very well.

  • @Cindy12345ful
    @Cindy12345ful 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I really enjoy seeing both of you disagreeing peacefully. When my partner and I disagree we always end up in a huge fight :(

  • @mscoffeeandcream
    @mscoffeeandcream 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    AWWW I love the whole discussion on Jake and I'm a campaigner like him! With my son I also think its fine to encourage him to be entrepreneurial and help be creative and business oriented with myself and my husband.

  • @mariberry06
    @mariberry06 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I think that people are triggered because maybe Gary’s tone reminds them of someone who triggered them in the past but Valeria isn’t triggered by Gary’s tone as she feels he respects her boundaries

  • @bt1929
    @bt1929 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Absolutely loved this episode 😅💕
    I was listening to it while driving , and was laughing so much I’m sure people around me thought I was crazy !
    The dynamic between u two is so good !
    I get where both of u r coming from !
    Ignore the negative comments !
    I see you two being together forever 🥹
    U r just the best 😍

  • @claudiahowick
    @claudiahowick 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I must say that reading through the influx of criticising comments, I do find it fascinating how many people are so invested in the lives of others, to the point where they think they genuinely know even a fraction of the truth of such an intimate relationship from some videos and from what they choose to share online. I'm sure that I can be no different sometimes, but it just occurred to me how wild it is that I'm reading these novels that so many people have the time in their day to write (as I said, clearly I am no different), but just focusing so intensely on a life that is not their own. It's sad to me because I feel like if people put that much effort into their own life they would not only not feel the need to write such lengthy criticisms but also they simply would not have the time. I'm only writing this to share my perspective on what I am witnessing in the comments section. The wildest thing, to me, is how so unaware people are that they are even doing it... I also think it's separate when someone is expressing genuine concern for the safety of others, as we all know there are signs when danger is signaled in a relationship, but in the instances with Gary and Valeria I think it is absolutely wild.

    • @mado.madeleine
      @mado.madeleine 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      yet your comment is one of the most “novel-like” in this entire thread 😂

  • @nanaildar00
    @nanaildar00 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Guys this is a reallllll relationship 😂❤ the one that actually improves you...

  • @anacarmes
    @anacarmes 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Gary in minute 38:00 I’d totally love to know more about that part of Valeria because a lot of us have gone through a lot and it’ll represent a lot of encouragement ❤

  • @CHRISTINEFOX-b5i
    @CHRISTINEFOX-b5i 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    P.S. Gary makes a good shoulder but never a general. And yes, Gary is quite dismissive.

  • @graceless6103
    @graceless6103 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    he talks to her like he knows everything she is thinking, and like she's an idiot and he is the genius and has everything all planned out. lots of talking over her and judgment. he's always dismissing everything she says. every video they have together he's harsh and I really dislike it

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Feel the same way.

  • @verb7571
    @verb7571 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Gary really wishes Valeria well, i am shocked that ppl dont see it that he is taking care of her the way he is able to and knows to, nothing wrong w his type or methods, as long as his partner likes it, wants it. They are amazing together, its hard not to see it! He is acting like a producer, nothing wrong w that, he wants her talent to see the world and to last 🎉🎉🎉🎉

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      He is just treating her like a project. Which that is very unhealthy to do in a relationship. Sad that people like you defend him. He is a horrible person.

  • @larrywatson3479
    @larrywatson3479 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hello Valeria! Congratulations ❤ and Happy 12th Anniversary to you and Gary! You both are amazing and have such a wonderful,loving,and supportive relationship! Wishing you you both much happiness, joy,and many more years together filled with memories and many more beautiful blessings!❤ Love you so much Valeria! Love, Janice and Larry Watson. Pittsburgh PA. USA

  • @bubbletea306
    @bubbletea306 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Happy anniversary!🎉 love the podcasts you do with Gary!

  • @mauranoonan8951
    @mauranoonan8951 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I have to agree about the mesh shoes…it’s not that serious. People on SM are so fake- typically filming cute-sy reels with smiles plastered on their faces. That’s not real. I actually like the back and forth because it is more realistic.❤ Let’s hear it for “Individuation”❤❤ “I don’t wanna sound like…” You’re gonna…” 😂

  • @ТетянаПопенко-у6ю
    @ТетянаПопенко-у6ю 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I really liked the talk. What I appreciate is that many women take on a mothering role with their husbands, which takes a lot of energy (e.g., providing clothes, food, etc.). It would be amazing if we could shift the mindset that women should mother their husbands (only if both partners are okay with it).
    The main idea that you take care of yourself for me and I take care of myself for you is AMAZING! Gary is wise and smart.☺

  • @sabihaalmahrooqi3726
    @sabihaalmahrooqi3726 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is such a typical relationship they’re so real

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Not typical. Toxic to the core. I feel sorry for Valeria dealing with him.

  • @ameeenaful
    @ameeenaful 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Gary your tone is suffocating 😳

  • @lakeboww
    @lakeboww 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Wow you don’t need to be a psychoanalyst to realize what a master manipulator this guy ist! He uses various tricks to plant ideas into her mind! Sooner or later she is gonna wake up.

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Agree. It is very obvious.

  • @fairyprincessunikitty2032
    @fairyprincessunikitty2032 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Most podcasts are boring; questions, answers and a lot of ooooh yeeeah, right, that’s so truu and praises - I like yours better because it is dynamic because disagreement is interesting, it’s fun and important to disagree sometimes! And I hate dishonest filter people put on for show.

  • @FluffyStackofPancakes
    @FluffyStackofPancakes 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Okay so I won't comment on someone else's marriage because that has nothing to do with me and I think a level of privacy should be respected. However, with the comparison of marriage being similar to working out at the gym, I don't agree with that. The world and the people in it can be my "gym." I want my partner and my marriage to be my peace.

  • @MegaTelenovela
    @MegaTelenovela 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I love the green armchair brings out your eye colour ❤

  • @miabeauty-tt1rq
    @miabeauty-tt1rq 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    So many people have opinions about them, and I am not the exception lol. I love them as a couple and they have the most beautiful family. However, I think couples podcasts are not for everyone, and I think it is not for you two. Your dynamic as a couple may not be understood by the world, and I think that family is too precious to risk it for a podcast. I think Valeria is doing so well on her own in social media, she is very likable but also smart and professional. The way she interviews people is very nice. I was listening yesterday this episode on Spotify while doing my things and yes, it gets uncomfortable because they go back and ford to much on the silliest things just trying to prove they are right. I think this is an opportunity for improvement for their relationship, maybe they talk like this everyday and can be exhausting, specially for her. Hey, the world is a mean mean place. Don´t let the opinion of people that you don´t even know enter such a sacred place such as your family and your relationship. I agree partially with Gary when he says that marriage is forever. I think, happy marriages must be forever. Kids and adults want to see their parents together but happy, and I do believe you two must prioritize your relationship instead of business and money, and try to work on that in private and improve it.

  • @martinacatinelli
    @martinacatinelli 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Ha here is Garry again..."I don't think that people are sitting and thinking that success is defined by communication" - it is THE ground of relationship communication, family-wise, dating-wise, relationship-wise, business-wise...that is me talking after 15 years of therapy...hehe sorry if I am triggered or not, but Garry just goes left instead of right for me...I am really giving space to this..

  • @duygude11
    @duygude11 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    He's a horrible person. Period.

  • @Esssssy
    @Esssssy 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So interesting! I discovered you from that meeting my bio dad video you’re referring to. It was shocking and interesting

  • @IamWanderwoman
    @IamWanderwoman 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Gary is so triggered over comments and it shows.
    He keeps saying "it's funny" or "it's comedy" but you can tell he's triggered.
    That's why he's still talking about it.
    That's why he says things like "these people are not in relationships" or "those men are miserable" (like it's hard for him to imagine not talking in a certain way to someone and being happy? Lol) or, he says "they have nothing going on in their lives". Literally sitting there, insulting their viewers, without who you wouldn't HAVE a channel to begin with.
    I don't think something is necessarily wrong with their relationship, that's for them to decide, but I enjoy episodes where Valeria is interviewing someone, or even by herself. Gary episodes are always tense and awkward imo.
    At least I haven't been able to get though more than 5 minutes of a Gary episode.

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Exactly. He cares and is triggered since he bothers to respond. Ooops, did we offend you, Gary? 😂

  • @mariaadamou
    @mariaadamou 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It makes sense; no decision is also a decision. You make a decision at that moment of not making a decision