The Hard Truth About Raising Adopted Children 💔
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ย. 2024
- Adoption is beautiful, but it comes with unique challenges. From navigating loss and identity to supporting children through trauma and setbacks, this is my honest experience as an adoptive mum ❤️
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We are Emilie and Josh - Mum and Dad to our four beautiful kiddos through adoption and fostering: Adam, George, Tallie and James. Together, we are: The Larters. Our family has been through different chapters, spending years apart. Now, we're all together in Uganda, actively working towards the challenging process of permanently reuniting our family through adoption and the UK visa process. Join us on our journey as we share raw, real content of our everyday lives, experiences of being a cross-cultural family, navigating international adoption, surviving a long distance relationship and our charity work. We believe that love makes a family 🤎
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God is the great healer never forget it. The family that prays together stays together.
Hi Emily you are doing a great job. I was your Adam, born in Rwanda, lost my parents in the Grenoside then ended up in Uganda, then got adopted at the age of 11 to Southampton by an English family, filled with trauma and loss of identity, I felt I didn't belong, but I was loved ,it took lots of work for my adopted parents to learn, but also to understand why I played up ,I was bad , ps they took me to a private school in Alford, all white kids, hated it, but they wanted the best for me , the more they expected the more I played up it was when they said what do you want to be .. I said so many things but I was so creative, fast forward am now 48, trauma turns its head once in a while, like you said ,, it never goes away but there are coping mechanisms (CPTSD) I live in Scotland, Edinburgh, working with refugees from all walks of live and happy to help, advice or anything in between, you are great
God bless family ❤❤❤
You are strong
Adam holding his baby brother's hand is precious!!
Emily, there is a special place in heaven for you. You simply don’t get enough credit for your service and dedication to the world. Girl, you are love! You are light 💡 I pray that god’s grace will continue to envelop your life and you will be triumphant in your journey. I love and appreciate you! With great respect and love! ❤️
Time really flyz .....see how James is grown❤❤
Thank you Emily ❤
Emilie, don't worry, just live life and enjoy every moment. They may struggle with academics but be great at other things. Sometimes the slow learners at some point jut propel foward by leaps and bounds. Another thing is that traumatized children can and sometimes heal from wirhin remarkably. There are always exceptions to the rules. Consider that you are in their lives for a purpose and that is to make them all great well rounded unselfish respectable human beings. Continue to love them and encourage them. Remember life is short. Love❤andLight🙏🏾. Blessings always.
Hi guys from London United Kingdom 🇬🇧
in an ideal world adoption wouldn’t exist, and i think it’s great that you are sharing the difficult parts too, my friend is adopted and he struggled a lot in school too(he has autism and adhd) and has been through a lot before being adopted and one thing he said to me is that, “although it’s been difficult id be a lot worse if now if i hadn’t been adopted.” all you can do is your best and it’s clear you are doing that💙
No State Benefits in Uganda?
@@irenedavo376880% of the population in Uganda is unemployed. I think that answers your question.
As a psychiatric nurse and someone who has worked with people with neurological impairments, I totally agree with you about everything especially around Trauma and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and the impact these can have on a child's cognitive development. It was a wise decision to seek professional advice. If such concerns are not handled early, they can have severe impacts on the individual as an adult. Good luck with your family. ❤
Hi Emilie, thats quite educative and it reflects much growth in you as an adoptive mum .
For Adam, he is now growing up and in as much as he is still a kid, part of his heart is in the UK with his loving family. He also loves his dear Uganda family and wants to be with them.
Most likely, if the adoption drags on, making you settle in Uganda, Adam will choose to study and live in the UK and then spend school holidays with you guys in Uganda.
[Never forget how great you are: a woman with great love for humanity AND always take good care of yourself too dear.}❤️❤️
I don’t know why your channel popped up when I opened my TH-cam, but I’m so glad that it did. What an incredible family you are. I’ve gone back and watched quite a few videos but haven’t commented til now. I feel very privileged to get a glimpse into your life. Thank you so much. Lots of love from Scotland 🏴❤️🏴
You are doing a great job with all the children. X
This was really interesting, thank you for sharing. The children may always carry that trauma with them, but they have you, Josh and their extended family to help shoulder that burden. ❤
Nice to see you all its a lovely story about Adam and being adopted by you and josh
Emilie
No Emily adopted Adam alone
Emilie, what can I say, except that I have so much respect for you and how you are doing everything possible to care for the well-being of these four beautiful children. Thank you for sharing the truth behind the grief, trauma, and loss of adoptees, and specifically, young Adam. You're amazing, and I hope that one day when they are adults, they see how you did everything you possibly could to ensure their safety, and mental and emotional well-being. ✨️
Awwww
James was so tired
the bye was so quick
love you Adam🌹
Really interesting eye opening video thankyou Emilee for being so open ❤ and keep going you are making such a difference to these childrens lives x
O wow how amazing are you. It's a blessing that you've adopted Adam. I've never really understood the complexity. Very much appreciated ❤ your doing a great job.
Emily be proud of yourself of how you have taken on 4 children at such a young age. Thanks for sharing your story. Also I understand children not making the progress and reaching the attainment for the learning, but look at the small step, the small progress of not only teaching and learning but think of the love they now understand, behaviour has improved etc .. Your blessing is on its way stay strong God sees and one day you will look and have the biggest smile.
Hi Emilie thank you for sharing this very interesting and honest video.Sending love and blessings to all the family ❤❤
This was a very insightful message ❤.
Bon courage ❤❤❤
the trauma that all adoptees go through is such a needed conversation within this space. the challenges specific to interacial adopting also. thank you for speaking about it openly! you and josh are doing a great job x
Thank you for being such a wonderful beautiful mother. Be blessed Emily
❤❤❤❤❤
Thanks for sharing always
May God continue protecting and blessing you all 🙏🏾
Emily this was brilliant! So well explained. I learned so much from you, thank you
Thank you Emilie ❤️
Quite an education you're sharing! I had a few friends who were adopted. It makes so much sense what you're saying. Lots to take in.
Hi Emilie. I just want to encourage you regarding the children’s academic progress. Don’t worry too much because when the proverbial light comes on for them they can make big strides in a short amount of time. What you have done for them in giving them a loving home far out weighs the benefits of being a top scholar. They are wonderful to watch and my prayers are for the family 💕🙏
You are doing such an amazing job, your self awareness is incredible ❤
My husband is Tamil Indian. We have three autistic children that all look very Indian and do not look like me. I often get strange looks when on my own with the children. Last week we were in Leicester - very Indian area - Rajendra is 3.5 and barely verbal and was screaming when we took him out the car - husband was paying and I was trying to get a trolley and a couple of ladies between themselves questioned why I was holding this screaming Indian toddler. They thought I had taken him and that is why he was screaming - reality is he cannot really talk and always needs his Appa (dad). I can relate to that struggle
Thank you for being so open an honest Emilie, very eye opening! I was adopted at 6 months in Ireland and all throughout my childhood I experienced bad anxiety. I don't think people in the 80's understood the complexities surrounring adoption. Even now I find it difficult to form meaningful relationships which I believe is due to my early childhood loss.
Emilie, all you can show is patience, understanding, sympathy and most of all, LOVE. There's a reason you and Josh were chosen. Parenting with any child can be a hit or miss. It took long enough to adopt Adam, it's not going to be easy with the other 3, stay strong, those kids are very fortunate to have someone who TRULY CARES. When this is over and you move to the UK, with a little tutoring, the kids will be fine. Safe some strength, the teenage years are yet to come.....YOU CAN DO IT, lots of us are rooting for you....From Canada. After watching the whole video I had to add this. What you're describing is happening to lots of immigrants who leave the re kids behind, in order to make it. If the children are younger, they adjust easier, however the older ones, mostly boys, seem to get in trouble with the law. These kids are not adopted but struggle to fit in not only a different culture, but learning to give up speaking patois. Emilie, sometimes parents have it hard but you just have to take it a day at a time, even your superwoman wings get tired. YOU DESERVE A BREAK TODAY and 2 a week, every thing is gonna be alright as Bob Marley said. As a mother/in-law, this backseat driver have to put up with different cultures, races on how to raise kids, in my home, I'm the boss,
This was a really interesting video. You really make adoption look easy 🙂
Love from France ❤❤❤❤❤
Great lady
This was a really interesting watch. I kind of just assumed since Adam was so young when he lost his mum he probably wouldn't struggle with the trauma of losing her.
The brain stores all that, when sometimes it's safe to express something that comes out. It's like a rucksack 🎒 that you carry on your back all your life.
@@Maruva77never heard it described like that, but it is so true!
Good job
James really meant his bye👋 😅😂😂😂😂
❤
Emily you promised us a house tour😩......we are ready when your ready❤
Bendiciones
Emily &Josh I didn’t see you at NYEGE NYEGE where were you guys
Maybe Adam is identifying more as British now and prefers UK because he notices that he is missing a part of himself here or that something sets him apart from other people in Uganda now? Because I also remember that when you were in England he seemed to identify more as Ugandan and was always so overjoyed about going back to "Muganda". Perhaps whereever he is he notices that the other part of him and his home(s) is missing? :) which is normal I guess everyone who lives between two countries can relate to that
Thank you for sharing. An eye opener for many. I myself am a white woman in the UK with black African children that I adopted since birth. They have been educated in the Uk and are now 18. I have trusted God in guiding me in this journey and I can honestly say that I have loved it. You are doing all you can and I really admire your courage, strength, patience and above all love not only for Adam but for the other three children as well. I know Africa as I was born and lived there for many years. Very different from the Uk. Well done Emilie. God bless.
You need a torch for dark roads!
James is growing really fast.....no longer our little baby😢❤
Hi Emilie, I’m not an expert on this subject, but I’m thinking maybe because of your closeness to your children, you should let someone else tutor them. 😊
They might need some outsiders help to tudoring sometimes our kids just to take learning from us as well as they take it from someone else.
I promise you. Your kids will never be haunted by any kind of trauma related to losing their birth family or adoption. I grew up with parents that bullied me and left me out a lot that I often felt like I wanted new parents. I wanted to be adopted even though I never even new what adoption was. I feel bad abt that but am not taumatized even with those memories. This is to say your kids are ok and they will be ok.
I’m an adoptee 68 now. But I don’t totally agree with you on this. I think with regards Adam you had him from the beginning you brought him to the UK gave him a family in the UK and now brought him back to Uganda. A bit too much. Too confusing. I think you are looking at things too deeply. Adam will be behind was in two schools then you took him out and then back in Uganda. Why? Haven’t you bitten off more than you can chew. You are basically a single woman who has taken on 3 other children with a partner who cannot do as much as you. You might not like what I am saying but you might have to face reality. The UK is no longer the bed of roses it was 10 years ago. Is it realistic..? Adam will say he is British because he knows he was better off over there. He was already getting used to it and thriving with your family and making improvements and now he himself can see he has taken 2 steps back. I as an adopted person was loved by the parents who adopted me and as I got older and wiser did not give much thought to who my blood parents were. As long as Adam is loved that’s what is important. You can’t miss what you never had. Please don’t bring up much conversation about his birth mother unless he ask you. You are his mother.
It's okay you don't agree with me - but you are not correct about Adam and our family here. He struggled in the UK without his Ugandan family, he was not entirely thriving - I even shared in this video there was a lot we did not share. Yes, I know his disrupted education will also be affecting it - but it was an issue before that ever even happened. You are not in our home to say Adam was making improvements in the UK and has taken two steps back, he's actually improved more academically since being here than he did 3 years in the UK! Of COURSE you can grieve for someone you never met, I have spoken to professionals about this - and how your body remembers even if you don't. I don't ever bring it up, but Adam brings it up regularly - and I am there to speak about it whenever he wishes. I appreciate your opinion as an adoptee, but no-one can speak for all adoptees.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤Brasil 😂
Emillie you are choping onionz over here
This journey is beautuful to have with you
One day is one day🫂🌹
❤
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