He was perfect, treated me really well, loved me, best person in my life, i had everything, so i cheated on him then had better sex with someone else. Goddamn, this poor man
Surface-level, everyone wants to receive pure unselfish unadulterated love, but it actually requires an extremely positive and healthy self-concept to receive it wholeheartedly and not sabotage it. The person who is vibrating high enough to be able to GIVE that kind of pure love needs to actually be very critical and discriminating with who they pour into or they're just setting themselves up for the pain. At the end of the day though, love given is never truly wasted, even if that specific relationship disintegrates.
It's crazy that she's trying to explain herself considering that she was cheated on in another relationship prior. Girl you already know how this feels, what are you doing 😭
The fact that Dane was agreeing with her and using it as an explanation to justify the situation just shows how full-of-shit the “love languages” reasoning is
Right! They're both so toxic. People are defending Jen in the comments saying she took responsibility. She absolutely did not. Taking responsibility is this : what I did was wrong, there is no excuse for it, and I'm sorry for the hurt and damage it caused you. It's not deflecting and blaming him for not giving her what she thought she needed. She didn't communicate what she needed! She just took the cowards way out and cheated on him.
@WinWinWoosome people can move on better than others, but cheating is extremely damaging. It damages your ability to trust, it affects how you heal, your future relationships. Cheating isn't a casual topic or occurrence. It's cowardly, selfish, and so hurtful. The situation you're in also matters too. 2 years is bad enough, but 5 year relationships, 10 years, married with kids. Cheating affects all of that differently. Your comment is very naive.
@@UnfazedPhoenixwell said, someone not getting past cheating is completely valid, moving on and healing doesn’t mean it doesn’t still deeply scar their past
He’s the type that would tell his gf she was being cruel by not effing him when he’s being an a**hole, I dated someone just like him, worst person I ever dated, the only words he ever says are manipulations he has probably coerced her behind the scenes too, makes me mad seeing someone take advantage that way, she still thinks he is a good or redeemable person deserving of empathy, she doesn’t see that her empathy is just being used against her with manipulation to feed his tiny destructive bullsh*t ego, thank god she stood her ground and also listened to friends, I hope she gets some therapy like I needed to stay safe from someone like that, trauma bonds gotta break
Exactly what I was thinking. Seems like they both learned a lot about themselves through their relationship. Breakups obvi aren't fun (considering her saying she felt destroyed) but they both appreciate the time they had together - I love that :')
Idk, I think just look chill but there’s that saying “The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s apathy.” He seems very avoidant and neglecting which in my opinion, hurts more than someone being angry. At least with anger or other feelings you know they care. That’s why I think this one was one of the worst. Edit: some people disagreed it was "one of the worst" and I guess I'd put it on the same level as many of the others. I just subjectively don't think it's better.
I think so too 😉 she literally had to grit her teeth to avoid saying how she really felt about Dane at times. Luna kept it her cool because she's learned the hard way that Dane is manipulative and a fucking child 🙄 😡
Yeah im sure theres a lot she was holding back in front of the cameras, but no words needed. I think i know exactly what happened in their relationship and im glad she's out of there
Have we watched the same video? Dane was the one being honest, holding it in and maintaining his composure, while she was deflecting and emotionally manipulating
Dane was really trying his hardest to make Luna seem like the villain but he was clearly the toxic one, you can already tell by the way he's negging her and trying to guilt trip her. MIND YOU: in front of dozen(s) of people and with cameras on him for millions of people to see. Who knows what he's actually like when they would argue just the two of them.
Absolutely, he’s the one that would be bringing up something and getting riled, then pull back like “I don’t want to do this here”. To me Luna saying “no no, let’s just do it” and still holding calm makes it seem like she has nothing she wants to hide. She feels justified, and I agree with her.
@@megspositiveoutlook5772 1000%. Anytime she tried to say how she felt, he would just be like "but you were constantly nagging" (when she said she did try to help him when he was depressed after him claiming she did nothing), "i just couldn't do anything around the house without her getting on me" (not a direct quote, but shows how he didn't put ANY effort into trying to make the house chores and labor equal so she didn't feel like a maid), "but I moved for you" (essentially blaming her for his depression and showing how "big" of a sacrifice that was, even though he never upheld basic relationship promises like being loyal, being responsible for your own actions and being communicative), and last but not least "I felt like you didn't love me" (which we all know was likely bs).
Dane is such a piece of shit. Him saying no to the rest of the questions just shows he was mad that she won't take him back and just kept trying to belittle her.
idk why but when she said they didnt like dane because of new years then that she said something that upset him, i fully thought she was gonna say he hit her.
@@nathangaspacio6128 i was waiting for that too. she didnt mention anything like that but i can tell from his composure that he feels entitiled and he acts harshly on emotions, which are the kind of people when upset do scary things, i'm glad that she got out of that
the new years she spent alone reminded me of a thanksgiving i spent at our shared home crying because he was mad for who knows why. he threw glass bottles at me and pinned me down and choked me during a fight later in our relationship. im not saying dane is the same person as my ex, but i’m very relieved Luna seems 100% done with him. the red flags be flagging
Luna is gorgeous and Dane looks like he smells like weeks old pizza and instant regret, so even just that makes her out of his league but the fact that he’s such a douche and manipulative person on top of all that is insane to me. She’s clearly a far better and more patient person than I would be.
Dude was catching strays for no reason. Seemed like a reasonable guy and his ex confirmed it, yet people think he was "toxic" just because he broke up with her. Crazy.
Right? 😂 They say opposites attract but that is usually troublesome in romantic relationships. Dane is so obviously manipulative and I’m sure the women in his life ( mom) let him get away with it because he almost takes pride in using someones natural empathy against her. He is the definition of musty. 😂
@@kazakukogI wouldn’t say that. It’s in the same way as everyone is different and has different perspectives to things but like 50% in how she used it was incorrect.
@@kazakukoghow aren’t they real? theyre just words that u can use to express things that u value the most in relationships lol. I like quality time with my friends, that’s my love language. so that’s jus fake? nigga what r u talking abt LMFAO
That's why I think for some people therapy does more harm than good. I know a lot of people in therapy that treat it like church. Just something you do once a week to get a license to be a shitty person, and hide behind "Therapy Speak".
Yeah looked weird but it is possible that’s ACTUALLY how she did feel about it. Hard to see, and My (or his name) doesn’t know so it’s a problem of trust either way
She said he wasn’t her type at all, and that they have different love languages. So she LOOKED for that in someone else, but yet they dated for 8 years…
@@tyfighter1859 I can think of no way she was the problem in the relationship from what we saw today. (clearly I wasn't there, but if she did something he should have said it) She expected him to take care of himself & be an adult. He cheated. Was a whiny baby loser. & Honestly it's manipulative af he went on this whole trip in hopes of getting on her good side to get her back. & As someone who moved for a relationship it's also bullshit to continually hold that over someone's head when it is YOUR choice.
@@TracyCookie Considering the fact that you threw a lie in that block of text, "He cheated", I think you even realize he wasnt the problem which is why you decided to make shit up
I feel like Dane viewed his act of moving closer to Luna not as a sacrifice but as a condition and then expected her to take over all further responsibilities in the relationship
Honestly I doubt Dane gave a fuck about moving- he was probably getting kicked out of his own spot and needed somewhere to go, that’s why he pushed for it. He just wanted a mommy to take care of him. He wanted to do the bare minimum and not get called out on it.
I felt the same way until Luna said, "But you wanted to do that", which is a pretty standard way of diminishing someone's actions. She then proceeded to list how his problems invalidated his sacrifice rather than how her contributions equalled his sacrifice. It could just be the editing from Jubilee or Cody, but this is what I see. It seems like this comment section is mostly Team Luna, but there's also a lot of degrading and manipulative behavior from Luna towards Dane as well. I don't necessarily think either side is innocent, but the "Slay Queen" attitude that the comment section (as a whole) is taking isn't exactly the reality of the situation, as far as I can see.
This! This is why I told my boyfriend I don't want to move in together until he's lived at least a whole year on his own. We've been dating for almost 3 years, but he's just recently moved out of his mom's house at age 23 and I really want this relationship to work. And so does he, despite the housing market being brutal he did his best and eventually got a place
@@CocoaPuffss that’s stupid to make him live on his own for a year unless there’s a reason behind it, are you at least chipping in if you live together or you want it to be all set?
@@CocoaPuffssliving alone I don’t think will help that much with that type of stuff. I’ve met people that have only plastic plates and such just so they don’t have to wash dishes ever 😂 or they have their place very dirty. Living alone doesn’t mean they will pickup after themselves 🤔 there’s hoarders and what not. But I can see how living with someone can make you change that. I’m a little lazy and my bf is very productive. Whenever he is not doing something important he starts cleaning the apartment. I appreciate it a lot how clean he is but also makes me feel bad when im relaxing on the couch/bed and he is cleaning around for like the 3rd time in the day lol so I get up and help him a bit or I decide to be the one to make dinner etc. before I would be very lazy when cooking but now I look at recipes and what not so I can impress him or just another activity to do together idk… sorry a lot of words 😅 word vomit
Dane is the worst one yet. He is immature and childish. You can tell Luna is done having the same conversations with him because she gets nowhere with them. He also is incapable of ACTUALLY admitting anything wrong he did in the relationship You can tell that he has manipulated her time after time. Thank god she realized that he wasn't good enough for her. Their demeaners towards each other told us everything we need to know about them. She was still, straight forward, and confident and his was cocky, insecure, and rude. He wants her back so someone can baby him, not because he actually loves her. If he truly loved her, he would show it. Also its so obvious that he wanted to stand on yes for the "do you wanna still be together" question. He only stood on no because he knew that Luna would stand on no. Its unrelievedly hilarious how easy it is too see right through this guy. A 6 year old could analyze this relationship better than Dane could. This is turning into a rant now but he really just pissed me off the whole time. ALSO he defiantly did some shady shit while they were together. No girl on this planet would send a "come cuddle" text out of the blue to a guy who's just a friend. And the way he looked at he host when she was talking about that as if to get some sort of validation or a "back me up bro" kind of moment?? He has guilt written all over his face and he knows it but has too big of an ego to admit anything. This is the kind of guy that that says he has haters. The most insecure breed of boy on this planet. Thank You.
mustache wasn't toxic bro, he lost his feelings and acted on it like an adult. He waited for an important day to pass, didn't cheat, and ended it rather than leading her on further and building more resentment.
Agreed! I think it was actually a green flag that he broke up with her 2 days after her birthday. I'm sure he had already been thinking about doing it, but had the decency to not do it before her birthday
@@natem1579there will always be something coming up, it’s never a good time to break off a relationship. If it isn’t a holiday/the time around a holiday, it’s going to be a family thing or a big week at work or “cuffing season” or the month before Valentine’s Day etcetcetc
@@mikaelizabeth2806 yeah but then 2 weeks later after her birthday is christmas, then a month later her grandpa dies, then 2 months later its her sisters wedding. Better to end it then waste more time hurting eachother
Good timing, laying groundwork, naivety, low self esteem and a large dose of manipulation. He was lucky, put in the work and manipulated the hell out of a naive girl with low self esteem. And not real work, or good work, but it does take time and effort to bend someone like he did.
@@bararobberbaron859 Attractiveness doesn't equal value in a relationship. Luna is very good looking yes, but that doesn't mean she wasn't equally as bad of a partner as Dane just in different ways. Can great people who are great looking be manipulated into relationships? Sometimes, yes. Most of the time it's just two equally weird people being equally weird to each other however. The attraction bias in this comment section for their relationship is fucking wild lol. Every other comment is shitting on this guy for his looks and that it must 100% be his fault simply because Luna is attractive and is wearing a skin tight dress. It's even crazier because if Dane was the attractive one and she was unattractive you would still claim it's manipulation because he used his "good looks" to swindle her in to a relationship that she would still have to agree to enter. If you watched this video and didn't pick up on the fact that she's not a great partner either I would highly suggest you recap her answers with the full context of their relationship and look deeper than "she is pretty and I think he's ugly".
We should show this to incels who say women only date chads. Bet they’ll spin it like Women always date assholes!!! Instead. But if that was true they’d have no problems finding gfs lol
dane is totally the dude to like get home from work, be asked to do a chore thatd take 2 minutes, say "yeah after i go to the bathroom though" and then hide in the bathroom for 2 hours hoping they forget about that chore or give up and do it themselves
God damn I feel for the dude who got cheated on. That fear is probably gonna creep into the back of his head in every relationship he’s in moving forward. Nothing shakes your trust in people like being deceived by a person who you expect would never want to hurt you
She also got cheated on before being with him so maybe that's why she self sabotages? I just find it interesting that she always wanted to know where he was at
im in a similar spot as the dude and so much of what he said especially about the crying part is to real. i was in a relationship for 9 years and she cheated on me. i blame myself and carry it all on my shoulders
@@stupidmonkey8057 shit man that’s rough, I’m sorry. Mine was 6 years together and we were married for less than one year when she cheated. That happened years ago and it doesn’t hurt like it used to, but my trust in people has never been the same. I’ll never feel safe or like I can rely on people the way I used to, because I know how quickly and how easily things can completely change. You can’t carry that blame though, you’ll only resent yourself if you do. Take whatever lessons you can from it (I learned I needed to work on myself in many ways) and carry those lessons moving forward. All we can do is hope we find someone who thoroughly appreciates what we have and doesn’t give that up
@@andreal3239 Yes, this! She kept apologizing about her actions and apologizing that he felt that way, and liek "giving in" to what she knew was right because he would be like "but i wasn't loved. I got depression because I moved FOR YOU and maybe didn't put as much into the relationship, but you never showed me you loved me or cared." "You weren't trying to show you cared for me, you were constantly nagging" "I couldn't get a break, but it's obvious I never upheld my end of the relationship by being faithful and by contributing to basic living duties so you felt like a maid, but I would clean my cereal bowl, I promise". Like this dude just kept giving excuses and she would try to explain why she felt unnoticed, unappreciated, taken advantage of, or hurt, and he would just say "but you didn't see what I did, you didn't show me love" even though still way after they broke up, in the video, she gave him so many chances to understand where she was coming from and how she felt as well as gave him so many chances to say how he felt, and ALL he did was blame the relationship failing on her lack of effort, lack of empathy, lack of love, etc. It's so damn sad to see. Obviously I don't know what she sounds regularly, but she sounds so defeated and like sad when she's trying to share how she feels and talk to him, and we all know why.
I feel like Cody was spot on with saying that you can't make a big decision and hold it against the other person. As someone who also moved because of the love I feel for someone, I never felt like they owed me anything for doing something like I did. My circumstance is specific to me, I know. I didn't have a steady job or family where I was so moving was just something I could do. But i never was like "I did this for us so you need to give up everything for me now"
This is so fascinating. I naturally almost felt I was picking a "side" of the relationship that was in the "right" and it kept changing every question lol, the complexities of these relationships were insane.
The blonde girl looked so on edge and close to tears the whole video through :( and Dane didn't listen to anything and just kept interrupting her and getting defensive
@@zzz-gw2xb never said she was but homie screaming in her voicemail that he should’ve hit her when he had the chance clearly shows what kind of person he is and how he respects the people he’s ina relationship with.
@@lainemarie1831 she legit assaulted him, if u look at the tweets mutuals had abt their relationship u would cry for him. he isn’t good at all but nobody deserves to be subjected to sexual acts they don’t want to partake in
Can’t imagine why Luna didn’t want Dane back when he doesn’t let her finish a sentence & admitted he just completely gave up when she asked him to help around the house & got defensive & dismissive at the drop of a dime 🤔
I feel like Luna and Dave worked until she was not only aware of the manipulation but stopped dealing with it. She is so soft and well spoken but seems to have enough confidence to see that he’s in the wrong
@023222323 nah he'll call women out for their bs too. The conmenter is just glad he, as a man, is always ready to call out men for their toxic stuff and not make excuses for them
Dane solely went to that to manipulate Luna in order to get her to take him back. I don’t even think his answers were completely honest in the beginning and then when he realized the plan wasn’t working on her, he decided to abort mission.
I did not even realize fifty minutes had gone by. Please, yes! If a video organically goes that long, let it be that long! This was great & your input was great.
Ok I get it, Mia is kinda a shitty person. But Ray saying “you sacrificing an intimate thing isn’t that important” is actually crazy. Intimacy is a big part of most relationships. Imagine being sexually dissatisfied but everything else is perfect.
i also don’t even think mia is shitty, i just don’t think they were right for each other. being queer and young and in ur first real queer relationship is crazy, and i don’t think she knew how to think about the other person yet.. but ray refusing to acknowledge the sacrifices she made just made them look like they just held all of that against her ifykwim
@@martophrenia Mia seemed to me a bit shitty at first, but then I realized that it was only through how Ray described Mia. Mia herself acted like a normal person imo.
The thing she sacrificed was topping, she is a switch. Its not like she didn't want to bottom, but Ray wanted to never bottom. They just weren't sexually compatible, that's all.
okay maybe unpopular opinion but Mia was fully aware of what her partner was going thru body wise, broke up with them and got back together, said earlier in the video that they liked the physical part of sex and that they did switch. It feels like Mia used their ex a little bit esp with the whole apartment flying rent thing. Them being polly the second time around and hiding the partner, she didn't wanna be with them to begin with, she really did just love being loved I believe her ex.
The idea of ‘I went through a lot so therefore any of your feelings are irrelevant’ is wild. Two people can go through a hard time, one having it worse doesn’t invalidate the others experience.
except it was about HOW THEIR OWN BODY was going to be treated. If their partner hated bottoming so much they could have just said no and not had sex. the fact that she's then trying to turn around and make it about a boundary that their partner set about their own gender dysphoria is crazy. just bc you can't set a boundary about yourself doesn't mean you should expect other people not to.
@clarkhoward1761 I mean the other girl had a boundary abt her body too.. neither of them wanted to bottom one person just felt their reasoning was more important, so the other bit the bullet. (She def compromised her own body for her partner) The girl in purple also said that was her first queer relationship, so that can be a reason why she just agreed to something she wasn’t comfortable with. Idk why make it as simple as just saying no. Bc her options were literally no sex or do something u don’t really want to do. Which could be hard decision since she really didn't have an outlet of identity exploration in that relationship. Either way two tops should have never been together.
@@clarkhoward1761the other girl made a sacrifice on how her body was treated too, the other didn't consider that a significant sacrifice and not even a sacrifice at all. If it wasn't at all a sacrifice it should have been easy for her to do as well, bc otherwise she's assuming to know exactly how the other girl felt about it and knew she didn't mind it. She's the type of person to sympathise with herself the most and downplay other people's experiences.
The problem is that Mia is bringing this up under the "what did you sacrifice" question and "I respected your consent and willingly stayed in a sexually and emotionally incompatible relationship because of mutual attraction" does not fit. @clarkhoward1761 hit the nail on the head with "just bc you can't set a boundary about yourself doesn't mean you should expect other people not to." She is getting criticised because she said "it was either on your terms or you wouldn't have sex at all", which is how consensual sex works. Consent is not a sacrifice. Period. Her feelings of unfulfillment are valid, but in the context of the question, it will inevitably prompt Ray into explaining why it was impossible for them to satisfy her at that time. Having sex in a way that triggers one's dysphoria can feel violating, or even "corrective", which is worlds apart from being upset that you can't explore your top side. Shitty of her to say respecting this was a sacrifice. Bizarre of Ray to claim Mia had no benefit to her sexuality or identity from topping. The solution was to acknowledge that they were wholly incompatible. They seem to know this, yet keep on arguing. I appreciated Cody's self-awareness.
@@glt.That's downplaying what she did. A sexual experience is a pleasurable experience, and she willingly got out of her comfort zone for the sake of her partner enjoying the experience as best she could. She gave her partner a pleasurable experience even if it meant she didn't enjoy it as much, which is a sacrifice she made for her partner's sake. For anyone to claim that that wasn't that big a sacrifice (if at all) to make they must also know just how far out of her comfort zone she was in the first place, and for her partner to claim that it was 'nothing', even though she personally doesn't think it was, just goes to show how self-centred she is.
Im disappointed with the tall guy who got cheated on... The fact he wants to get back together with her is a terrible idea. He seems like such a good guy and he deserves so much better. Brother, move on, shes toxic
he said that the girl was his first girlfriend ( and they were together for like several years i think ??) so that probably severely skews his view of things
@@womankisserjermaluvryeah, like 8 year’s. the idea to move on may seem simple in theory and to some other people (like us, the viewers) but after all that build up, it would definitely be something that’s too complicated and difficult to do. the 8 year’s, her being his first and all. poor guy
Luna girl you're amazing for leaving him x you deserve so much better. Even through the editing and him trying to make himself look good in the video, you can still tell he's a lazy, manipulative, gaslighting cheat. Good for you for standing your grounds.
I love how respectful Cody is about situations he doesn't fully understand and how he doesn't put on a front when he's uneducated. Like, when he said he wasn't "well-versed enough to weigh in on a queer relationship," I actually really appreciated that. It's refreshing to see a man who can recognize a learning opportunity instead of getting insecure and dismissive.
Good for Cody, but it seems like it's becoming a very easy out for some people. I had an experience with a trans masc guy who also had depression and Autism, I had this "a lot of things are different in this person and I just don't understand their struggles and should accept whatever they are willing to throw me" mindset. Yeah, dude ended up ghosting me for 6 months (I sent a couple of messages asking what happened and why they're not responding), then randomly showing up in the DMs "ha ha, I thought I deleted you. Hope you're well". Some people are just egotistical scumbags and they use their mental struggles to gaslight people. I get the same vibe from this top who thinks their gender struggles is the only thing that matters in the relationship, and their partner's sexual frustration is no biggie.
@@midneisi don’t really think it’s important for cody to be an expert or even well versed on sexual dynamics in queer relationships. as long as he’s respectful and nonjudgmental, he’s fine. we need more of that
I don’t think we’re talking enough about how ray was like “all the gender confusion and everything i was going through does not compare to you refusing to go down on me” when mia had already clearly stated that she wasn’t comfortable constantly doing it blows my mind. Someone in this world probably has it easier than me but it is not my right to compare our situations and to diminish their opinions and experiences.
Yeah, it was quite uncomfortable to watch. Mia looked like she was about to cry when Ray told her that and I can just imagine that was going on during their relationship too. I hope they're both in a better place now
Yea its total pain olympics and i can’t respect it. Part of being queer is recognizing the way your inherent repression and confusion can harm those around you. You hurt people when you try to find yourself in and beside them; Ray getting triggered and denying any harm caused to Mia was actually so upsetting to see. You can’t force people into a box and not expect them to flinch when you trim the edges that aren’t CONVENIENT for where you are at in your journey. Ray needs to start recognizing the ways we can hurt and also cause hurt simultaneously.
cody accidentally choosing the words “i’m not well versed in this” in regards to the queer couple talking about their struggles of bottoming to accommodate the other is so funny
Homegirl did the guy in the flannel so dirty. Saying the sex was better with someone else because they “truly” loved her, even though he is still head over heels for her
I think what ray can't understand is that Mia having a problem doesn't mean that she's trying to minimise ray's dyphoria, and their struggle with it. Two problems can exist simultaneously, and they don't HAVE to be in competition with each other. I understand that what Ray was going through is a very complex and deeply troubling issue, and when someone is going through something like that, it can sometimes be a little hard to look at someone saying that they have an issue that is kind of related to their dysphoria and then not feel defensive about it, but these sort of things, in relationships, tend to slightly affect each other, and it isn't invalidating Ray's experience or anything, but rather just issues that Mia faced. Just because it was affected by ray's dysphoria doesn't mean Mia's trying to make it about herself or look past what ray is facing, it's just issues that come about in relationships.
I think it was a classic case of just not being compatible. They chose to be together despite that, and both are at fault for that. But that stage, that figuring out stage, was obviously hard for both of them. I didn't like how either of them approached the issue, tbh. Mia wanted to top someone who was absolutely uncomfortable with it. And Ray expected Mia to only bottom because of Ray's strict boundaries surrounding their body disphoria, which suppressed Mia's true sexual nature. Both are valid, and they need to realize that. Boundaries are not demands, and it's up to the boundary holder to leave a situation where those boundaries feel crossed.
It seems like ray wasn’t ready for a relationship at the time as ray was dealing with a lot of mental stuff. It’s hard to be a good partner when dealing with so much.
@@maggie5807I agree. Before I sorted out my own gender confusion I was the worst fucking partner. When you feel miserable you generally make others feel miserable too
@@cjrose2624 True but mia respected ray's boundary by sacrificing her own and ray refused to acknowledge that. It was never compatible, but even now ray is being unfair to mia by denying the sacrifice she made.
It validates to me how bad my ex was, he uses her empathy against her in a total manipulation, I just see myself in her a couple years ago, mad not just at how he’s messing with her but at my ex too because I’m still trying to find what way is up after I was manipulated threatened coerced and just emotionally abused to say the least, I’m very happy to say though that I am now so much more mad at him than myself cause I can see how I was just like Luna, my only mistake being to see good or worth in someone who didn’t have any because I didn’t expect someone as terrible as him and I couldn’t see past the manipulations of my own empathy
@@andreal3239i had the same experience its so infuriating where you tell what bothers you and the other person says oh that’s not a problem x y z like you are never listened to it’s literally makes you want to pull your hair out, Dane triggers me so much holy shit
You could see that Dane barely looked Luna in the eye and was looking at the host while speaking mostly. He couldn't face her legitimately, and was in a way trying to prove himself to the other people in the room that he was trying, rather than proving it to her directly.
@madf8507 Interesting read. I spotted it more in his inability to hold eye contact with either Luna or the host for a complete thought that shows his desire to prove himself to everyone in the room. I think it would be normal to cater your attention to the person asking the questions. Majority of the participants do so as well throughout.
the girl that dated her ex for 8 years was awful. she said she didn’t really love him and then that she found someone better after him and then that she wished she was still with him. i couldn’t even listen to her i feel so bad for that guy
I think the queer relationship probably wouldn't have ever worked because they both seemed very ridgid in what they wanted and uncomfortable at the same time physically. Hopefully both of them find partners who are a great fit in the future.
Reminds me of the first time I tried to date a girl and we were just categorically incompatible but she's still one of my best friends. Some people have needs and wants and communication styles that just don't work at all no matter how bad you want them to or how much fun you have when you're together it's still not everything
Yeah fr, they clearly were incompatible romantically and both had valid reasons. It's just unfortunate but hopefully they'll both find new partners they like
I didn't like how she talked about her gender confusion. It feels, I don't know, dismissive of the other's problems. Like they're obviously not the same but not being sexually compatible can create a lot of problems that can hide underneath the surface. I don't know.
Cody saying that the saddest thing ever are the couples that are stil in love but have trust issues that will never be repaired, is true af. That shit is heartbreaking
@@whatreallymatters571 yeah, but I doubt how that's the case here. She tried to justify her own cheating and make it seem like it was an incompatibility issue
You may be right that most women who cheat excuse it by saying that. But I do feel that men excuse cheating just as much or more by saying that they couldn't help it, that men are just wired that way, and that monogamy isn't natural for men. Well, if someone wants to use that argument, there are many, many things we do in this world, like for instance holding it and not just peeing wherever we happen to be standing, that may not be natural but we do because we're civilized people.Just saying, both genders tend to excuse their actions when they cheat. @@Hopetobebetter
I really appreciate cody’s sensitivity towards the queer couple and his recognition that he doesn’t have the experience to comment on their dynamic. Even as a queer woman i was kinda lost for words regarding their conflict at first
@@womankisserjermaluvrI would agree but I can't. Just like this video might've been low-key helpful for straight viewers in their relationships, I feel like it not only shed a light for straight viewers on queer relationships, but also may have helped queer viewers understand themselves a little better
Yes I appreciated that. When they said their body dysmoprphia trumped her issue with not wanting to bottom and cody was like yeah idk anything about that.
seeing rae constantly invalidate everything mia said triggers me to no end. immediately saying “i cannot imagine any emotional sacrifice you made for our relationship” when the host addressed mia’s answer was INSANE. invalidating mia’s struggle with intimacy because her struggle was supposedly insurmountable to rae’s struggle with their body is crazy. mia tried to set boundaries that were overlooked because rae was struggling with their gender, which is not okay. you can empathize with someone without having your boundaries disrespected and clearly mia doesn’t believe this because rae DISRESPECTED their boundaries and refused to acknowledge their willingness to sacrifice intimate boundaries and pleasure to please rae. holy shit, rae sounds insufferable. i hope mia finds someone better.
gender dysphoria is a real tricky thing it can make you act selfish because it literally engulfs your entire brain and can be ALL u can think about so whilst i understand and empathise with ray its still not an excuse to ignore mia's sexual identity i think they are just a prime example of not meant to be and thats okay it happens a lot in queer relationships i hope they both find their person!
@@nightmrjif you are suffering to the extent that you become selfish then you need to fix that for yourself- you should probably not be in a relationship let alone use it as an excuse to mistreat your partner. Same as any mental illness like depression, it’s unfortunate, but not acceptable to take it out on someone
as a nonbinary person who has dysphoria and has dated other nonbinary folks, watching Rae invalidate Mia was ROUGH. Using gender dysphoria to one-up and invalidate another person's discomfort is awful. Mia's discomfort is just as valid as Rae's. Their discomfort can be different and equally important. Mia definitely did make a sacrifice by having to do something that made her uncomfortable a lot. Rae's martyrdom was too much for me. Rough rough rough to watch.
@@nightmrj I think it's more telling that Ray still feels Mia's suffering wasn't enough to be considered valid. During that time it makes sense for Ray to have felt that way but Ray's answer shows they still haven't grown since then.
Okay I’m straight as hell and although Mia’s relationship sounded a bit iffy on both sides, her being forced to bottom and her partner invalidating that is absolutely crazy; that definitely was a sacrifice, good god.
I don’t think it’s “being forced” to bottom, jesus. Like just because I don’t like anal sex doesn’t mean my partner is “being forced” to not have anal sex. It’s just a preference, if you aren’t sexually compatible then you either deal with it or break up. You don’t call it a sacrifice and expect thanks. There are other ways to have sex. Edit: and to be clear, what they’re saying is that Mia was a switch who preferred to top, and Ray was an exclusive top. Mia wasn’t being forced to bottom, she was “being forced” to not top. Because Ray wasn’t into that. Like dude, you can’t expect thanks from not doing a sex act someone doesn’t want you to do to them.
@@spook6394nah mia continually giving up what she wants to do sexually bc her partner was topping majority of the time, knowing it’s also what Mia wanted was selfish on ray’s part, & it was definitely Mia sacrificing what she wanted intimacy wise repeatedly for her partner. I understand ray had a gender identity crises and body dysmorphia but to continue to discount that Mia was giving up doing what she likes sexually for ray and that it doesn’t pale to what ray was going through was shitty
i think the issue was just miscommunication and ray hadnt yet accepted their gender identity so at the start maybe they were into both bottoming and topping however they discovered bottoming was in fact not okay at all and they therefore set that boundary but then that accidentally invalidates mia's sexual identity as someone who doesnt always want to bottom yk its just a case of two ppl not right for eachover and thats fine it happens especially in young queer relationships yk ive heard it happen so many times just hope they both grew and matured
@@spook6394Firstly two completely different situations, also they didn't say that at all, Mia said that they both are Tops, not that she liked to switch and she literally said that if she didn't bottom then they couldn't be intimate, which is manipulative behavior. She was doing things she didn't want to do to make Ray happy and Ray would not get over themselves to see where Mia was coming from.
I dated a guy like Dane and honestly it is good to see from an outside perspective how he speaks and acts because when you're in it, it's incredibly hard to see what everyone else can see. Love the guy, but almost impossible to move forward when they are always the victim. 🙁
Yes exactly I dated someone just like him, just like him, they could be twins in how they act though mine did a lot of even worse things but it’s quite fairly possible he has done all those things too, I hope she just stays as far away as she can so one day she can be like us watching a video of a guy like this and just angry that he was so sh*tty rather than being trapped in that manipulation
Bingo. Domestic Violence counsellor here. Smugness, gaslighting, lack of accountability...the FIRST fight and how each person treats the other will reveal ALL potential red flags. I promise
I believe Luna started out as immature in a way (since she was attracted to Dane for some reason) but matured as their relationship progressed. It's kinda sad that Dane is blaming Luna's matureness for him not being able to support their relationship as much (which he barely did the bare minimum). I'm glad Luna is out of that stinky situation, literally and figuratively speaking.
Luna probably didn’t see the red flags in Dane at first, but as the relationship progressed he revealed more and more of his true colors, making Luna realize who he actually was. I know that tends to happen a lot in relationships like the one Luna and Dane had.
But you can’t hold it over someone’s head if you independently chose to do it, like she barely said anything about it but he claimed he did it so she could be close to family but I don’t think she asked for that at all, almost seems like he didn’t actually have family or anything that liked him there cause he was terrible to people but he is manipulating it into something supposedly grand because he wants to use it to hold over her and guilt her and manipulate her and manipulate how she sees him, I also saw in another comment that the gap was 2 hours between those two places, those two states are beside each other so it’s very possible that other comment is correct
@@Peayou... Ok, that girl was clearly a bad partner but the powerpoint thing was the most normal thing ever. I'm college age and it's not surprising someone would do that
“You could never understand how I felt” when you basically forced your girlfriend to have sex in a way she didn’t like a majority of the time which is _ _ _ _
it came off more like mia treating them like a sex vending machine that she resented more each time she used it bc the button for her favorite soda was broken. like she literally did use other ones too on the reg that had that ready for her but felt this particular one owes it to her the most bc that one felt the most convenient to stick around. putting aside the laundry list of textbook examples and signs of abuse towards her ex on blatant display, its pretty ✨️✨️✨️✨️ing rich to even imagine attempting to twist what little was revealed here into what you had the absolute gall to defecate out of your mouth ^in your comment above^. in what world do you see someone unapologetically going, "yes, i think beggars CAN be choosers, shame on you for forcing me to ask for just a mere fraction of the physical intimacy im owed and not to force you to force yourself to disregard your boundaries" being not only in the right, but actually A Wronged Party in this situation? "i wanted to do more to your body than what you were physically and psychologically able to allow someone to, so i had to settle for less than what i REALLY hoped. but since that was still better than nothing so i was FORCED into choosing that to get at least SOME physical gratification out of you. youre so inconsiderate for MAKING me pretend that a sexual act causing my partner severe trauma means anywhere near as much as how good it would feel for me. in fact just the heinous crime alone of daring to have 6ual trauma in my presence is so much WORSE for ME than any trauma itself that i get a free pass for life and everyone should only care about how HORRIBLE it is for ME to be UPSET" im literally gonna throw up ::)))))
It feels like Cody is pumping out videos at an all time rate, knowing he is going to take a quite a bit of time off when he becomes a dad. And I’m here for it ❤
I feel bad but also so happy for Luna. I feel bad that she had to date someone like that, but I’m happy she is finally free. Based on all the comments here, it’s safe to say she can finally be seen for her efforts. Dane sounds like a straight up manipulator of emotions.
I love how Jennifer, (love languages gal) in the end chocks it up to, ‘when he would show love to me, I just couldn’t understand it so I couldn’t receive it as love’, but when she would show love to him, it’s, ‘he didn’t care about how I showed him love and counted it as nagging’.
Something that sticks out to me from this video is how gratitude and appreciation can make a night and day difference in a relationship. I get the sense Mia would have been ok sacrificing some things about their sex life for instance if Ray had shown more gratitude and not simply felt entitled to get what they wanted bc they “suffered more” or something. That doesn’t excuse taking someone for granted or diminishing their experience. So entitled and self centered honestly
Dane seems like he only ever provided or supported Luna just to "make her happy", just so whenever she had any complaints or things she wanted him to work on he can throw all of his support in her face and devalue her boundaries and wishes
Dane is just incredibly toxic. I’ll admit I’m biased because I was in a relationship where I had basically word for word the exact same experiences plus a lot more. But the way that Luna is talking and is just so clearly 100% over having the exact same conversation with this dude and it having no affect whatsoever. He thinks that just an apology is enough, but so clearly doesn’t believe that he ever did anything wrong. Note how his “sacrifice” was a decision that he made and wholeheartedly agreed to before it happened, knowing exactly what he was getting into, but hers was a situation that he forced her into and she had no idea was going to happen so in order for her to live comfortably she had no choice but to take care of him as if he was a child and he still thinks that his sacrifice was bigger than hers. I’d bet that this wasn’t the first time they’ve broken up, because as soon as he realises that she isn’t listening to his empty apologies anymore he just immediately starts attacking and dismissing her. I’m so happy for Luna that she got out of that relationship.
nah you're not biased at all, the whole time i could not stop getting the most terrible narcissistic feeling from Dane. Dane is incredibly toxic.. and why tf is his head always angled upward like he's trying so hard to look down on people.
Idk dawg. I just feel like luna is very manipulative. Not saying he is great. But idk it just seems like she is holding him as a puppet. Yeah i also feel bad for him...
@@backupnameplease you don't either. And we are just commenting on smth we all have no idea. We are taking the content and interprating it. So yeah what does anything mean right :)
Dane talking about getting yelled at for not washing his cereal bowl sent me because he looks like the kind of man baby who just sits around eating captain crunch all day bc he’s too lazy to cook.
Had the nerve to say that her ex always letting her top was "not a real sacrifice" like what are you talking about?? Sex isn't everything but if I never ever got to do what I liked during sex in a long term relationship, I would end up just never wanting to do it. It's absolutely a sacrifice. Guess it depends on how you value sex, though.
@@HeyaayyayaayyaThats literally not the case…they said the reason they didnt bottom was because they were struggling with gender dysphoria and that made them uncomfortable. youre just villainizing them when they already provided context.
@@KMFDM242 and that's fair but if bottoming makes you dysphoric then dating another top is never going to work out. it did sort of come off like they felt their gender dysphoria was more meaningful and a bigger deal than any issues their girlfriend could possibly have, like they just handwaved away that she was also really uncomfortable with bottoming because she didn't have a good enough reason.
im so sorry but as a trans person and someone who is still like super dysphoric a lot of the time,,,,,,,, the fact that she had to bottom which she does not like to do so much that she felt she was emotionally and mentally exhausted from it is absolutely a sacrifice. if you cant be comfortable with your body enough to bottom and the other person takes that burden as a top to bottom for you, that IS a sacrifice that should be acknowledged and appreciated. and i get that gender stuff is extremely hard but it doesnt stop you from acknowledging that.
Yeah, it felt like acknowledgment was all Mia wanted from that conversation! Like, obviously we don't know what happened in their relationship before, if Mia had been pressuring or disrespectful in their relationship or something, but ruling out that and just judging from this instance Ray was being really dismissive of Mia. At least Ray was not speaking on the same wavelength as Mia. It absolutely is a sacrifice to push your comfort zone during sex, especially in your first queer relationship where you might not be so clear about where your boundaries lay.
It’s sex. Communicate what you want/need. If bottoming is really such a big trigger then don’t do it or recognize that you’re sexually incompatible if your partner refuses to respect that. Seems like an issue one has full capability to resolve through simple communication. Why do people expect others to be mind-readers?
yeah for sure. i agreed with ray for the most part during this vid, but them completely dismissing the fact that mia had also made that sacrifice was kinda fucked up. i struggled a lot with gender dysphoria in the past (and still do sometimes) and i totally understand where rays coming from, but they shouldn’t just not acknowledge mia just because they had it harder. like most couples in this vid i feel like it all just came down to communication issues tbh
Totally agree on this. It was annoying to hear her dismiss Mia’s effort to accommodate her. It can be true that they both struggled with that sexual dynamic. It reminds me why I keep away from some victim mentality types. Their problems are ‘so big’ they can’t see the accommodations or struggles of others.
sounds like mia was waiting for rey to come around to do something they were never going to be comfortable with. especially with that added pressure of expectation… If mia felt as strongly about not bottoming they could have also shared that at first but it seems like she’s just a top/switch who doesn’t respect a stone tops boundaries :/
i love how in depth the lesbian couple was in their break down of the relationship. felt very real and i wish more people could see this side of the lgbtq community. like not the dysfunctional aspect but the conversation about how they view relationships.
“Is your love language cheating” I died.
He was perfect, treated me really well, loved me, best person in my life, i had everything, so i cheated on him then had better sex with someone else. Goddamn, this poor man
Surface-level, everyone wants to receive pure unselfish unadulterated love, but it actually requires an extremely positive and healthy self-concept to receive it wholeheartedly and not sabotage it.
The person who is vibrating high enough to be able to GIVE that kind of pure love needs to actually be very critical and discriminating with who they pour into or they're just setting themselves up for the pain.
At the end of the day though, love given is never truly wasted, even if that specific relationship disintegrates.
My boi got cooked to the internet
@@lanuitsouslapluie realest comment ive ever read
he deserves a big hug after that one😭
@@lanuitsouslapluie Bruh 😂 you blaming him for setting himself up for the pain?! lol, it's ok to feel for those cheated on. Cheaters are scummy
Jennifer using “love languages” and therapy speak to explain why she cheated just makes my bones vibrate
yeah the girls got issues, that guy needs to stand on business and leave her in the past
Damn I really hope your bones aren't squishy 😔
It's crazy that she's trying to explain herself considering that she was cheated on in another relationship prior. Girl you already know how this feels, what are you doing 😭
She gives the same vibes as Dane
@@oracleofdelphiii it is a fucking shitty thing to do whether you been cheated on or not
Jennifer trying to give Luna and Dane love advice made my blood boil. A manipulater helping out another manipulator
The fact that Dane was agreeing with her and using it as an explanation to justify the situation just shows how full-of-shit the “love languages” reasoning is
Right! They're both so toxic. People are defending Jen in the comments saying she took responsibility. She absolutely did not. Taking responsibility is this : what I did was wrong, there is no excuse for it, and I'm sorry for the hurt and damage it caused you. It's not deflecting and blaming him for not giving her what she thought she needed. She didn't communicate what she needed! She just took the cowards way out and cheated on him.
@WinWinWoosome people can move on better than others, but cheating is extremely damaging. It damages your ability to trust, it affects how you heal, your future relationships. Cheating isn't a casual topic or occurrence. It's cowardly, selfish, and so hurtful. The situation you're in also matters too. 2 years is bad enough, but 5 year relationships, 10 years, married with kids. Cheating affects all of that differently. Your comment is very naive.
@@UnfazedPhoenixwell said, someone not getting past cheating is completely valid, moving on and healing doesn’t mean it doesn’t still deeply scar their past
@WinWinWooShe cheating after being hurt by cheating and knowing that he loved her. She’s a pos.
Dane got so bitter when he found out Luna wasn’t going to get back with him and it showed so much more about him than it does her
Fr f that pos. But not really. He doesnt deserve sex. She seems like a big old sweetheart.
He’s the type that would tell his gf she was being cruel by not effing him when he’s being an a**hole, I dated someone just like him, worst person I ever dated, the only words he ever says are manipulations he has probably coerced her behind the scenes too, makes me mad seeing someone take advantage that way, she still thinks he is a good or redeemable person deserving of empathy, she doesn’t see that her empathy is just being used against her with manipulation to feed his tiny destructive bullsh*t ego, thank god she stood her ground and also listened to friends, I hope she gets some therapy like I needed to stay safe from someone like that, trauma bonds gotta break
Yes
Not at all, imagine going on a trip with your ex and then being publicly shamed like this. You’re biased if you can’t see that it was just a shock
Tldr, but I know I agree with you by the first sentence. He's a turd.
Dane seems like the kind of guy who is constantly worried about gold diggers but has no gold to dig.
LMFAOOO
He needs to come out of the closet as a Splenda daddy.
Bingo perf comment
Lmao 😂 YES!
😂😂😂
The bdsm girl and the mustache guy's relationship was probably the healthiest one out of all the couples here.
and thats saying a lot too
Exactly what I was thinking. Seems like they both learned a lot about themselves through their relationship. Breakups obvi aren't fun (considering her saying she felt destroyed) but they both appreciate the time they had together - I love that :')
Idk, I think just look chill but there’s that saying “The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s apathy.” He seems very avoidant and neglecting which in my opinion, hurts more than someone being angry. At least with anger or other feelings you know they care. That’s why I think this one was one of the worst.
Edit: some people disagreed it was "one of the worst" and I guess I'd put it on the same level as many of the others. I just subjectively don't think it's better.
Yeah and that guy was a sociopath
@@shroombunny510wouldn’t you mean “that’s not saying a lot” since all the other couples seemed awful for each other
Luna is so strong for not losing her composure
I think so too 😉 she literally had to grit her teeth to avoid saying how she really felt about Dane at times. Luna kept it her cool because she's learned the hard way that Dane is manipulative and a fucking child 🙄 😡
Yeah im sure theres a lot she was holding back in front of the cameras, but no words needed. I think i know exactly what happened in their relationship and im glad she's out of there
Have we watched the same video?
Dane was the one being honest, holding it in and maintaining his composure, while she was deflecting and emotionally manipulating
@@Undaglibenglaubengloben There's a red pill forum missing you somewhere.
@@acegikm I hope she sees this, bro
Dane is such a gaslighter. I feel for Luna, especially cleaning up after him is so ridiculous.
You would think that
@@jmurdock8303???????
@@toastlover555 ask your question friend
@@jmurdock8303 hi dane
@@lolychungus5517 huh ?
Dane was really trying his hardest to make Luna seem like the villain but he was clearly the toxic one, you can already tell by the way he's negging her and trying to guilt trip her. MIND YOU: in front of dozen(s) of people and with cameras on him for millions of people to see. Who knows what he's actually like when they would argue just the two of them.
Absolutely, he’s the one that would be bringing up something and getting riled, then pull back like “I don’t want to do this here”.
To me Luna saying “no no, let’s just do it” and still holding calm makes it seem like she has nothing she wants to hide. She feels justified, and I agree with her.
@@megspositiveoutlook5772 1000%. Anytime she tried to say how she felt, he would just be like "but you were constantly nagging" (when she said she did try to help him when he was depressed after him claiming she did nothing), "i just couldn't do anything around the house without her getting on me" (not a direct quote, but shows how he didn't put ANY effort into trying to make the house chores and labor equal so she didn't feel like a maid), "but I moved for you" (essentially blaming her for his depression and showing how "big" of a sacrifice that was, even though he never upheld basic relationship promises like being loyal, being responsible for your own actions and being communicative), and last but not least "I felt like you didn't love me" (which we all know was likely bs).
i would've cried if i were her..... she is way stronger than me dawg
Dane is such a piece of shit. Him saying no to the rest of the questions just shows he was mad that she won't take him back and just kept trying to belittle her.
Yea Dane seems like he has some serious narcissistic personality traits. Run Luna Run!!
Dane is a walking red flag. His energy genuinely has me scared for the women in his life
idk why but when she said they didnt like dane because of new years then that she said something that upset him, i fully thought she was gonna say he hit her.
@@nathangaspacio6128 i was waiting for that too. she didnt mention anything like that but i can tell from his composure that he feels entitiled and he acts harshly on emotions, which are the kind of people when upset do scary things, i'm glad that she got out of that
the new years she spent alone reminded me of a thanksgiving i spent at our shared home crying because he was mad for who knows why. he threw glass bottles at me and pinned me down and choked me during a fight later in our relationship. im not saying dane is the same person as my ex, but i’m very relieved Luna seems 100% done with him. the red flags be flagging
"I can fix him" MFS when they can't actually fix him
His creepy smile is what did it for me.
Luna is gorgeous and Dane looks like he smells like weeks old pizza and instant regret, so even just that makes her out of his league but the fact that he’s such a douche and manipulative person on top of all that is insane to me. She’s clearly a far better and more patient person than I would be.
😂 yeah he looks greasy like he only showers on the weekends or something.
Lmfao "smells like week-old pizza" literally nailed it 😂
WEEKS OLD PIZZAI CANT
@@ChivalryCharonyea that’s what I thought too. Lol and I agreed with that too lol
Hater…body shamer
Viktor is a man who is truly one with his mustache. They work together in perfect harmony
i kinda hate that i understand perfectly what you mean by this
cringe
@maksimally do not hate that you're able to acknowledge and appreciate the symbiotic relationship between a man and his mustache
@@shannonceleste5557 you know what, you're right. i contemplated it, i love it now
Dude was catching strays for no reason. Seemed like a reasonable guy and his ex confirmed it, yet people think he was "toxic" just because he broke up with her. Crazy.
The composure this host has to have is insane. I’d be letting out gasps and “DAMN”s left and right
THIS
Would’ve been calling people out on their bs (DANE)
Now I'm just imagining Steve Harvey hosting this
"Damn, double homicide"
lmaoooo
I love that cody is acknowledging that we all watch him on our lunch breaks
It being split into 2 parts was so real
No FR I was shoving a sub in my mouth in the break area like IS HE WATCHING ME
there's always several highly liked comments saying "you posted just in time for lunch," I'm sure he sees them lol
he posts at the perfect time everyday 😂
We're all ipad kids at heart
Dane is putting on an act 100% you can see it in the girls eyes how much he broke her and destroyed her self esteem.
I feel like the part where he said he cries about her was just a way to get some sympathy from the audience and her
@@jasonlavallee8195 yeah he was playing a pity part for sure.
Yes, and you can see how much stronger Luna is now, post all that turbulence.
He when she talks about having no libido - an effect of being in a abusive relationship. And his face, he was happy to hear it 🚩🚩🚩🚩
@@Nina94771 😕
I hate Dane on an astronomical level. He knows she is a kind empathic soul and tries to take advantage of it. Every time.
Right? 😂 They say opposites attract but that is usually troublesome in romantic relationships. Dane is so obviously manipulative and I’m sure the women in his life ( mom) let him get away with it because he almost takes pride in using someones natural empathy against her. He is the definition of musty. 😂
Real. Chills on my spine
He’s a true Narc (narcissist)
I feel like the girl that cheated just learned about love languages via TikTok and it’s all she can talk about
all the excuses why she cheated and that man can see through all the bullshit lmao
They’re not fake per say, but they are a theoretical guideline or tendency, not a ridged rule or fact.
@@kazakukogI wouldn’t say that. It’s in the same way as everyone is different and has different perspectives to things but like 50% in how she used it was incorrect.
@@kazakukoghow aren’t they real? theyre just words that u can use to express things that u value the most in relationships lol. I like quality time with my friends, that’s my love language. so that’s jus fake? nigga what r u talking abt LMFAO
@@kazakukogalso u can legit see in this vid a woman use them to excuse cheating like girl what!! 🤭🤭🤭 embarrassing for u
as someone with a septum piercing, i see someone else with a septum piercing and instantly think we should date. you absolutely nailed it cody
I read this the moment cody was talking about that lmaooo
getting a septum piercing tomorrow for this very reason
Everyone has a septum it's not really that special
…are we soulmates?
@@LuhRen i can count on one finger the people i know with septum piercings
The "my trauma is worse than your trauma" argument is so stupid
makes my blood boil tbh
That's why I think for some people therapy does more harm than good. I know a lot of people in therapy that treat it like church. Just something you do once a week to get a license to be a shitty person, and hide behind "Therapy Speak".
I know people who do that and I absolutely hate it
It was funny in Deadpool, but to do it seriously is kinda yikes.
these are the worst types of people and i refuse to be around them. why do they all sound like karens and kevins too?@@Ndizzyinthehizzy
can we talk about how Jen kept using their different “love languages” as an excuse to cheat?
yeah i didn’t like her
literally. it’s so clear she is basically saying she just didn’t like him that much. poor guy.
Yeah looked weird but it is possible that’s ACTUALLY how she did feel about it. Hard to see, and My (or his name) doesn’t know so it’s a problem of trust either way
She said he wasn’t her type at all, and that they have different love languages. So she LOOKED for that in someone else, but yet they dated for 8 years…
the origin of the concept of love languages is very questionable anyway
I feel SO bad for Luna. The amount of poise she had and how clearly she was trying to fight emotions after Dane's manipulation was heartbreaking
For real Dane threw so much at her without hesitation. She must have endured a lot of shit. FFS dane
She was def the problem in that relationship...
@@tyfighter1859how?? Care to explain
@@tyfighter1859 I can think of no way she was the problem in the relationship from what we saw today. (clearly I wasn't there, but if she did something he should have said it) She expected him to take care of himself & be an adult. He cheated. Was a whiny baby loser. & Honestly it's manipulative af he went on this whole trip in hopes of getting on her good side to get her back. & As someone who moved for a relationship it's also bullshit to continually hold that over someone's head when it is YOUR choice.
@@TracyCookie Considering the fact that you threw a lie in that block of text, "He cheated", I think you even realize he wasnt the problem which is why you decided to make shit up
The fact that Dane never looked at Luna while explaining his issues and why "he was the better guy" tells me everything I need to know about that.
glad someone else noticed this
bro hes like staring directly into her eyes what lmao
yuuuuppp
@@aryapalla2491 only when shes talking but he explains himself he cant even look in her direction
He turned towards the person he was trying to convince.
I feel like Dane viewed his act of moving closer to Luna not as a sacrifice but as a condition and then expected her to take over all further responsibilities in the relationship
Honestly I doubt Dane gave a fuck about moving- he was probably getting kicked out of his own spot and needed somewhere to go, that’s why he pushed for it. He just wanted a mommy to take care of him. He wanted to do the bare minimum and not get called out on it.
This would definitely make sense too, and when things didn’t work out he tried flipping it on her so he didn’t have to carry that blame
I felt the same way until Luna said, "But you wanted to do that", which is a pretty standard way of diminishing someone's actions. She then proceeded to list how his problems invalidated his sacrifice rather than how her contributions equalled his sacrifice. It could just be the editing from Jubilee or Cody, but this is what I see.
It seems like this comment section is mostly Team Luna, but there's also a lot of degrading and manipulative behavior from Luna towards Dane as well. I don't necessarily think either side is innocent, but the "Slay Queen" attitude that the comment section (as a whole) is taking isn't exactly the reality of the situation, as far as I can see.
@@Manakyn i actually completely agree, I hadn’t really thought about that so im glad you brought it up
It’s absolutely insane how chores really do corrode a relationship, Cody hit the nail with that one
i read your comment as "how chodes really do chorrode a relationship"
@@matklacarsame😂 i’m like dayum
This! This is why I told my boyfriend I don't want to move in together until he's lived at least a whole year on his own. We've been dating for almost 3 years, but he's just recently moved out of his mom's house at age 23 and I really want this relationship to work. And so does he, despite the housing market being brutal he did his best and eventually got a place
@@CocoaPuffss that’s stupid to make him live on his own for a year unless there’s a reason behind it, are you at least chipping in if you live together or you want it to be all set?
@@CocoaPuffssliving alone I don’t think will help that much with that type of stuff. I’ve met people that have only plastic plates and such just so they don’t have to wash dishes ever 😂 or they have their place very dirty. Living alone doesn’t mean they will pickup after themselves 🤔 there’s hoarders and what not. But I can see how living with someone can make you change that. I’m a little lazy and my bf is very productive. Whenever he is not doing something important he starts cleaning the apartment. I appreciate it a lot how clean he is but also makes me feel bad when im relaxing on the couch/bed and he is cleaning around for like the 3rd time in the day lol so I get up and help him a bit or I decide to be the one to make dinner etc. before I would be very lazy when cooking but now I look at recipes and what not so I can impress him or just another activity to do together idk… sorry a lot of words 😅 word vomit
Dane is the worst one yet. He is immature and childish. You can tell Luna is done having the same conversations with him because she gets nowhere with them. He also is incapable of ACTUALLY admitting anything wrong he did in the relationship You can tell that he has manipulated her time after time. Thank god she realized that he wasn't good enough for her. Their demeaners towards each other told us everything we need to know about them. She was still, straight forward, and confident and his was cocky, insecure, and rude. He wants her back so someone can baby him, not because he actually loves her. If he truly loved her, he would show it. Also its so obvious that he wanted to stand on yes for the "do you wanna still be together" question. He only stood on no because he knew that Luna would stand on no. Its unrelievedly hilarious how easy it is too see right through this guy. A 6 year old could analyze this relationship better than Dane could. This is turning into a rant now but he really just pissed me off the whole time. ALSO he defiantly did some shady shit while they were together. No girl on this planet would send a "come cuddle" text out of the blue to a guy who's just a friend. And the way he looked at he host when she was talking about that as if to get some sort of validation or a "back me up bro" kind of moment?? He has guilt written all over his face and he knows it but has too big of an ego to admit anything. This is the kind of guy that that says he has haters. The most insecure breed of boy on this planet. Thank You.
🔥🔥
exactly
Russ type beat fr
couldn’t have said any better
Period!
mustache wasn't toxic bro, he lost his feelings and acted on it like an adult. He waited for an important day to pass, didn't cheat, and ended it rather than leading her on further and building more resentment.
Agreed! I think it was actually a green flag that he broke up with her 2 days after her birthday. I'm sure he had already been thinking about doing it, but had the decency to not do it before her birthday
@@mikaelizabeth2806 He coulda given her like, another couple weeks tho lol
@@natem1579ah yes so he could waste her time. Come on
@@natem1579there will always be something coming up, it’s never a good time to break off a relationship. If it isn’t a holiday/the time around a holiday, it’s going to be a family thing or a big week at work or “cuffing season” or the month before Valentine’s Day etcetcetc
@@mikaelizabeth2806 yeah but then 2 weeks later after her birthday is christmas, then a month later her grandpa dies, then 2 months later its her sisters wedding. Better to end it then waste more time hurting eachother
How crusty looking men like Dane end up with women like Luna will always be a mystery to me
Good timing, laying groundwork, naivety, low self esteem and a large dose of manipulation. He was lucky, put in the work and manipulated the hell out of a naive girl with low self esteem. And not real work, or good work, but it does take time and effort to bend someone like he did.
It's like that one comparison of couples and it's a picture of a lego figure and a bratz doll
This was not good.
@@bararobberbaron859 Attractiveness doesn't equal value in a relationship. Luna is very good looking yes, but that doesn't mean she wasn't equally as bad of a partner as Dane just in different ways. Can great people who are great looking be manipulated into relationships? Sometimes, yes. Most of the time it's just two equally weird people being equally weird to each other however. The attraction bias in this comment section for their relationship is fucking wild lol. Every other comment is shitting on this guy for his looks and that it must 100% be his fault simply because Luna is attractive and is wearing a skin tight dress. It's even crazier because if Dane was the attractive one and she was unattractive you would still claim it's manipulation because he used his "good looks" to swindle her in to a relationship that she would still have to agree to enter. If you watched this video and didn't pick up on the fact that she's not a great partner either I would highly suggest you recap her answers with the full context of their relationship and look deeper than "she is pretty and I think he's ugly".
We should show this to incels who say women only date chads. Bet they’ll spin it like Women always date assholes!!! Instead. But if that was true they’d have no problems finding gfs lol
dane is totally the dude to like get home from work, be asked to do a chore thatd take 2 minutes, say "yeah after i go to the bathroom though" and then hide in the bathroom for 2 hours hoping they forget about that chore or give up and do it themselves
EXACTLY
And the type to do the broke boy hug from behind as the partner buys them something they couldnt afford
@pitou5832 yess that's what I was thinking😊
@@pitou5832im ashamed that i have actually experienced this in real life
@@pitou5832stop everyone he came on screen I kept thinking of that TikTok
feeding us with a 50 minute video thank you cody
I didn't even realize that I've been watching for that long 😅
LOVE THIS DUDE
truly nourishing 🍲
Agreed
I'm so full, Cody spoils us and I love it. This is my love language 😩
i would pay so much money to just sit and gossip with cody
how much? 50 bucks??
I would donate a dollar to your fund to sit in al corner and listen to y’all 😂
Same!!!! We could all do a group couch react!!! Lets schedule it for after christmas though
How much
@@aznabihossainSYDwtf😂 no way
I lost it at "come cuddle, brother" 😭😭😭
Priscilla and Victor were the least toxic but Victor's emoting throughout the video was sending me
Young money
I think it's funny that Cody thinks he was the sub in their BDSM relationship
God damn I feel for the dude who got cheated on. That fear is probably gonna creep into the back of his head in every relationship he’s in moving forward. Nothing shakes your trust in people like being deceived by a person who you expect would never want to hurt you
True, one won’t be able to trust someone as much as they did , even if the other person is right for them.
That's why cheating is so evil
She also got cheated on before being with him so maybe that's why she self sabotages? I just find it interesting that she always wanted to know where he was at
im in a similar spot as the dude and so much of what he said especially about the crying part is to real. i was in a relationship for 9 years and she cheated on me. i blame myself and carry it all on my shoulders
@@stupidmonkey8057 shit man that’s rough, I’m sorry. Mine was 6 years together and we were married for less than one year when she cheated. That happened years ago and it doesn’t hurt like it used to, but my trust in people has never been the same. I’ll never feel safe or like I can rely on people the way I used to, because I know how quickly and how easily things can completely change. You can’t carry that blame though, you’ll only resent yourself if you do. Take whatever lessons you can from it (I learned I needed to work on myself in many ways) and carry those lessons moving forward. All we can do is hope we find someone who thoroughly appreciates what we have and doesn’t give that up
My heart breaks for Luna..hope she will get over this dude and the relationship.
I agree she sounds so defeated
She’s been manipulated to be honest, he uses her empathy against her, he is a master manipulator
@@andreal3239 Yes, this! She kept apologizing about her actions and apologizing that he felt that way, and liek "giving in" to what she knew was right because he would be like "but i wasn't loved. I got depression because I moved FOR YOU and maybe didn't put as much into the relationship, but you never showed me you loved me or cared." "You weren't trying to show you cared for me, you were constantly nagging" "I couldn't get a break, but it's obvious I never upheld my end of the relationship by being faithful and by contributing to basic living duties so you felt like a maid, but I would clean my cereal bowl, I promise". Like this dude just kept giving excuses and she would try to explain why she felt unnoticed, unappreciated, taken advantage of, or hurt, and he would just say "but you didn't see what I did, you didn't show me love" even though still way after they broke up, in the video, she gave him so many chances to understand where she was coming from and how she felt as well as gave him so many chances to say how he felt, and ALL he did was blame the relationship failing on her lack of effort, lack of empathy, lack of love, etc.
It's so damn sad to see. Obviously I don't know what she sounds regularly, but she sounds so defeated and like sad when she's trying to share how she feels and talk to him, and we all know why.
I feel like Cody was spot on with saying that you can't make a big decision and hold it against the other person. As someone who also moved because of the love I feel for someone, I never felt like they owed me anything for doing something like I did. My circumstance is specific to me, I know. I didn't have a steady job or family where I was so moving was just something I could do. But i never was like "I did this for us so you need to give up everything for me now"
This is so fascinating. I naturally almost felt I was picking a "side" of the relationship that was in the "right" and it kept changing every question lol, the complexities of these relationships were insane.
It’s because very rarely is it only one person’s fault. It’s almost always two sided. There are exceptions of course but still
I love that you did what I did! Humans are amazing and our brains and behaviors are insane!
I did that for every couple except for Luna and Dane, because clearly he’s an idiot.
fr
Cody seems to really take to the placebo effect. never seen someone get so drunk off a non alcoholic beer
It’s his crippling cocaine addiction
It’s bc he doesn’t burn
@@L3thalShad0ws7huh
it’s the calories
Literally 🤣
I feel like Cody broke the 4th wall talking about how we all watch him on our lunch breaks
this
I watched 40 minutes of this video on the exercise bike, and watch him while I eat dinner usually, so it’s too real
HAHAHA
Kinda the 5th wall since he’s already talking to the audience
The blonde girl looked so on edge and close to tears the whole video through :( and Dane didn't listen to anything and just kept interrupting her and getting defensive
Victor being the personification of a shrug had me dying 😭😭😭
Dane was being manipulative i can absolutely see why their relationship didn’t work
Dane fr a loser
I’ve followed Luna for a while and you honestly do know the half of it
@@lainemarie1831but Luna wasn’t perfect either - she clearly had just as many faults as Dan lol
@@zzz-gw2xb never said she was but homie screaming in her voicemail that he should’ve hit her when he had the chance clearly shows what kind of person he is and how he respects the people he’s ina relationship with.
@@lainemarie1831 she legit assaulted him, if u look at the tweets mutuals had abt their relationship u would cry for him. he isn’t good at all but nobody deserves to be subjected to sexual acts they don’t want to partake in
Can’t imagine why Luna didn’t want Dane back when he doesn’t let her finish a sentence & admitted he just completely gave up when she asked him to help around the house & got defensive & dismissive at the drop of a dime 🤔
why did she assault him though?
@@zzz-gw2xbyoure going through all comments talking abt that. He very obviously lies and exaggerates everything, doubt it happened
@@zzz-gw2xb Dane please get off your phone and do your laundry. It’s a damn mountain of piss and mt dew
@@zzz-gw2xbWHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
@@zzz-gw2xb Bruh she didn't
I feel like Luna and Dave worked until she was not only aware of the manipulation but stopped dealing with it. She is so soft and well spoken but seems to have enough confidence to see that he’s in the wrong
i love that cody’s a girl’s girl. he always recognizes the toxic guys and takes the girl’s side and i love him for it
literally, i don’t have many men in my life with such a positive attitude towards women so seeing cody be such a gentleman is heartwarming
Yeah it’s almost like he purposely avoids to talk about the toxic traits of the girls. Weird.
Both genders should have to take accountability for their bad behavior. Women shouldn’t be shielded from that.
he shreded the bs cheating girl though
@023222323 nah he'll call women out for their bs too. The conmenter is just glad he, as a man, is always ready to call out men for their toxic stuff and not make excuses for them
Dane solely went to that to manipulate Luna in order to get her to take him back. I don’t even think his answers were completely honest in the beginning and then when he realized the plan wasn’t working on her, he decided to abort mission.
I mean who could blame a man for trying to score
She fine too so respect for dane
@@casuan9613ew.
@@casuan9613 🙄
@@casuan9613Dane is that you???😐
@@ArushiSingh004 lol
I did not even realize fifty minutes had gone by. Please, yes! If a video organically goes that long, let it be that long! This was great & your input was great.
Agree!
Ok I get it, Mia is kinda a shitty person. But Ray saying “you sacrificing an intimate thing isn’t that important” is actually crazy. Intimacy is a big part of most relationships. Imagine being sexually dissatisfied but everything else is perfect.
i also don’t even think mia is shitty, i just don’t think they were right for each other. being queer and young and in ur first real queer relationship is crazy, and i don’t think she knew how to think about the other person yet.. but ray refusing to acknowledge the sacrifices she made just made them look like they just held all of that against her ifykwim
wait, how is Mia shitty?
@@martophrenia Mia seemed to me a bit shitty at first, but then I realized that it was only through how Ray described Mia. Mia herself acted like a normal person imo.
The thing she sacrificed was topping, she is a switch. Its not like she didn't want to bottom, but Ray wanted to never bottom. They just weren't sexually compatible, that's all.
okay maybe unpopular opinion but Mia was fully aware of what her partner was going thru body wise, broke up with them and got back together, said earlier in the video that they liked the physical part of sex and that they did switch. It feels like Mia used their ex a little bit esp with the whole apartment flying rent thing. Them being polly the second time around and hiding the partner, she didn't wanna be with them to begin with, she really did just love being loved I believe her ex.
The idea of ‘I went through a lot so therefore any of your feelings are irrelevant’ is wild.
Two people can go through a hard time, one having it worse doesn’t invalidate the others experience.
except it was about HOW THEIR OWN BODY was going to be treated. If their partner hated bottoming so much they could have just said no and not had sex. the fact that she's then trying to turn around and make it about a boundary that their partner set about their own gender dysphoria is crazy. just bc you can't set a boundary about yourself doesn't mean you should expect other people not to.
@clarkhoward1761 I mean the other girl had a boundary abt her body too.. neither of them wanted to bottom one person just felt their reasoning was more important, so the other bit the bullet. (She def compromised her own body for her partner) The girl in purple also said that was her first queer relationship, so that can be a reason why she just agreed to something she wasn’t comfortable with. Idk why make it as simple as just saying no. Bc her options were literally no sex or do something u don’t really want to do. Which could be hard decision since she really didn't have an outlet of identity exploration in that relationship.
Either way two tops should have never been together.
@@clarkhoward1761the other girl made a sacrifice on how her body was treated too, the other didn't consider that a significant sacrifice and not even a sacrifice at all. If it wasn't at all a sacrifice it should have been easy for her to do as well, bc otherwise she's assuming to know exactly how the other girl felt about it and knew she didn't mind it. She's the type of person to sympathise with herself the most and downplay other people's experiences.
The problem is that Mia is bringing this up under the "what did you sacrifice" question and "I respected your consent and willingly stayed in a sexually and emotionally incompatible relationship because of mutual attraction" does not fit. @clarkhoward1761 hit the nail on the head with "just bc you can't set a boundary about yourself doesn't mean you should expect other people not to." She is getting criticised because she said "it was either on your terms or you wouldn't have sex at all", which is how consensual sex works. Consent is not a sacrifice. Period. Her feelings of unfulfillment are valid, but in the context of the question, it will inevitably prompt Ray into explaining why it was impossible for them to satisfy her at that time. Having sex in a way that triggers one's dysphoria can feel violating, or even "corrective", which is worlds apart from being upset that you can't explore your top side. Shitty of her to say respecting this was a sacrifice. Bizarre of Ray to claim Mia had no benefit to her sexuality or identity from topping. The solution was to acknowledge that they were wholly incompatible. They seem to know this, yet keep on arguing. I appreciated Cody's self-awareness.
@@glt.That's downplaying what she did. A sexual experience is a pleasurable experience, and she willingly got out of her comfort zone for the sake of her partner enjoying the experience as best she could. She gave her partner a pleasurable experience even if it meant she didn't enjoy it as much, which is a sacrifice she made for her partner's sake. For anyone to claim that that wasn't that big a sacrifice (if at all) to make they must also know just how far out of her comfort zone she was in the first place, and for her partner to claim that it was 'nothing', even though she personally doesn't think it was, just goes to show how self-centred she is.
Im disappointed with the tall guy who got cheated on... The fact he wants to get back together with her is a terrible idea. He seems like such a good guy and he deserves so much better. Brother, move on, shes toxic
he said that the girl was his first girlfriend ( and they were together for like several years i think ??) so that probably severely skews his view of things
I think she said they were together for 8 years and she was his first girlfriend.. that's crazy. I do hope he finds someone else
@@womankisserjermaluvryeah, like 8 year’s. the idea to move on may seem simple in theory and to some other people (like us, the viewers) but after all that build up, it would definitely be something that’s too complicated and difficult to do. the 8 year’s, her being his first and all. poor guy
Cody isnt pregnant, but he always delivers
his wife is though and she's probably about to
that we know of...
It's the midwife that delivers, not the pregnant person
Actually he is. Kelsey posted it on insta - they got each other pregnant
@@ey2379is this satire
Luna girl you're amazing for leaving him x you deserve so much better. Even through the editing and him trying to make himself look good in the video, you can still tell he's a lazy, manipulative, gaslighting cheat. Good for you for standing your grounds.
I love how respectful Cody is about situations he doesn't fully understand and how he doesn't put on a front when he's uneducated. Like, when he said he wasn't "well-versed enough to weigh in on a queer relationship," I actually really appreciated that. It's refreshing to see a man who can recognize a learning opportunity instead of getting insecure and dismissive.
This is one of the many reasons why I love him…
Not a good vers
Good for Cody, but it seems like it's becoming a very easy out for some people. I had an experience with a trans masc guy who also had depression and Autism, I had this "a lot of things are different in this person and I just don't understand their struggles and should accept whatever they are willing to throw me" mindset. Yeah, dude ended up ghosting me for 6 months (I sent a couple of messages asking what happened and why they're not responding), then randomly showing up in the DMs "ha ha, I thought I deleted you. Hope you're well". Some people are just egotistical scumbags and they use their mental struggles to gaslight people. I get the same vibe from this top who thinks their gender struggles is the only thing that matters in the relationship, and their partner's sexual frustration is no biggie.
@@midneisi don’t really think it’s important for cody to be an expert or even well versed on sexual dynamics in queer relationships. as long as he’s respectful and nonjudgmental, he’s fine. we need more of that
“I feel like these two people only dated because they both have septum piercings” is an underrated gem
I don’t think we’re talking enough about how ray was like “all the gender confusion and everything i was going through does not compare to you refusing to go down on me” when mia had already clearly stated that she wasn’t comfortable constantly doing it blows my mind. Someone in this world probably has it easier than me but it is not my right to compare our situations and to diminish their opinions and experiences.
Yeah, it was quite uncomfortable to watch. Mia looked like she was about to cry when Ray told her that and I can just imagine that was going on during their relationship too. I hope they're both in a better place now
Fr and the way they just couldn’t in the slightest acknowledge it even when she worded it so well
typical
It was extremely self-centered, just me me me, my experience, my perspective. Good thing they're broken up.
Yea its total pain olympics and i can’t respect it. Part of being queer is recognizing the way your inherent repression and confusion can harm those around you. You hurt people when you try to find yourself in and beside them; Ray getting triggered and denying any harm caused to Mia was actually so upsetting to see. You can’t force people into a box and not expect them to flinch when you trim the edges that aren’t CONVENIENT for where you are at in your journey. Ray needs to start recognizing the ways we can hurt and also cause hurt simultaneously.
cody accidentally choosing the words “i’m not well versed in this” in regards to the queer couple talking about their struggles of bottoming to accommodate the other is so funny
He’s El Naturál
Truuuue
Homegirl did the guy in the flannel so dirty. Saying the sex was better with someone else because they “truly” loved her, even though he is still head over heels for her
I think what ray can't understand is that Mia having a problem doesn't mean that she's trying to minimise ray's dyphoria, and their struggle with it. Two problems can exist simultaneously, and they don't HAVE to be in competition with each other.
I understand that what Ray was going through is a very complex and deeply troubling issue, and when someone is going through something like that, it can sometimes be a little hard to look at someone saying that they have an issue that is kind of related to their dysphoria and then not feel defensive about it, but these sort of things, in relationships, tend to slightly affect each other, and it isn't invalidating Ray's experience or anything, but rather just issues that Mia faced.
Just because it was affected by ray's dysphoria doesn't mean Mia's trying to make it about herself or look past what ray is facing, it's just issues that come about in relationships.
I think it was a classic case of just not being compatible. They chose to be together despite that, and both are at fault for that. But that stage, that figuring out stage, was obviously hard for both of them. I didn't like how either of them approached the issue, tbh. Mia wanted to top someone who was absolutely uncomfortable with it. And Ray expected Mia to only bottom because of Ray's strict boundaries surrounding their body disphoria, which suppressed Mia's true sexual nature. Both are valid, and they need to realize that. Boundaries are not demands, and it's up to the boundary holder to leave a situation where those boundaries feel crossed.
It seems like ray wasn’t ready for a relationship at the time as ray was dealing with a lot of mental stuff. It’s hard to be a good partner when dealing with so much.
@@maggie5807I agree. Before I sorted out my own gender confusion I was the worst fucking partner. When you feel miserable you generally make others feel miserable too
THANK YOU!!!!!! this got me so mad and i dont understand why nobody is talking about it!!!
@@cjrose2624 True but mia respected ray's boundary by sacrificing her own and ray refused to acknowledge that. It was never compatible, but even now ray is being unfair to mia by denying the sacrifice she made.
Lmao Dane is straight up a manipulator it is actually crazy watching him do it while people are filming him and Luna 😢
It validates to me how bad my ex was, he uses her empathy against her in a total manipulation, I just see myself in her a couple years ago, mad not just at how he’s messing with her but at my ex too because I’m still trying to find what way is up after I was manipulated threatened coerced and just emotionally abused to say the least, I’m very happy to say though that I am now so much more mad at him than myself cause I can see how I was just like Luna, my only mistake being to see good or worth in someone who didn’t have any because I didn’t expect someone as terrible as him and I couldn’t see past the manipulations of my own empathy
@@andreal3239 that sound really tough, I’m glad you are better now 😊
Only the women side of the story is right 😂
@@andreal3239i had the same experience its so infuriating where you tell what bothers you and the other person says oh that’s not a problem x y z like you are never listened to it’s literally makes you want to pull your hair out, Dane triggers me so much holy shit
@@evangingerson1271 found the incel💀 grow up lil guy
god, luna is such a kinder, more patient, more generous person than what dane deserved. like how could he not even acknowledge her in the end :(
Honestly this made me think about the ways I can improve in my relationship to make sure my partner doesn’t feel the way they feel if that makes sense
That's good, good job for wanting to look inward
i feel the same way. watching this video was a good way to get feedback and reflect
Same. Now I just need a partner
@@xapokalypseyeah some one has to be interested first
You could see that Dane barely looked Luna in the eye and was looking at the host while speaking mostly. He couldn't face her legitimately, and was in a way trying to prove himself to the other people in the room that he was trying, rather than proving it to her directly.
@madf8507 Interesting read. I spotted it more in his inability to hold eye contact with either Luna or the host for a complete thought that shows his desire to prove himself to everyone in the room. I think it would be normal to cater your attention to the person asking the questions. Majority of the participants do so as well throughout.
Cody has never experienced the joy of a Powerpoint Night and it shows
Literally 😭😭😭😭
Nah that shit weird
That’s exactly what I was thinking …
the girl that dated her ex for 8 years was awful. she said she didn’t really love him and then that she found someone better after him and then that she wished she was still with him. i couldn’t even listen to her i feel so bad for that guy
theres is nothing she could have said that would have satisfied you, she took accountability for everything she did
@@thexvaultshe blamed her cheating on him not understanding her love language tf?
I’ve never met or seen a guy that looks like Dane be a good person
The physical embodiment of Ketamine.
Like how
Literally my thoughts
He reminds me of my ex
@@joeconkle8826🎶”he’s not going home.”🎶
@@katharinapolyakov6746SAME
50 minutes is something i never expected, thank you for blessing us cody
I think the queer relationship probably wouldn't have ever worked because they both seemed very ridgid in what they wanted and uncomfortable at the same time physically. Hopefully both of them find partners who are a great fit in the future.
Reminds me of the first time I tried to date a girl and we were just categorically incompatible but she's still one of my best friends. Some people have needs and wants and communication styles that just don't work at all no matter how bad you want them to or how much fun you have when you're together it's still not everything
Yeah fr, they clearly were incompatible romantically and both had valid reasons. It's just unfortunate but hopefully they'll both find new partners they like
pink top making a powerpoint of red flags is a little ridiculous
Lesbians are always so crazy😅
I didn't like how she talked about her gender confusion. It feels, I don't know, dismissive of the other's problems. Like they're obviously not the same but not being sexually compatible can create a lot of problems that can hide underneath the surface. I don't know.
Cody saying that the saddest thing ever are the couples that are stil in love but have trust issues that will never be repaired, is true af. That shit is heartbreaking
The girl that cheated only wants him back because she's used to the routine rather than actually loving him. She's playing with his heart.
Or she's grown and mattered and can see how much she took him for granted and genuinely wants to be with him and try to give him the love he deserves.
@@whatreallymatters571 yeah, but I doubt how that's the case here. She tried to justify her own cheating and make it seem like it was an incompatibility issue
@@whatreallymatters571”grown and matured*” yet she still excuses her cheating. She’s utterly despicable.
This is what most women do. Refuse to take accountability and blame their selfish actions on "how they felt"
You may be right that most women who cheat excuse it by saying that. But I do feel that men excuse cheating just as much or more by saying that they couldn't help it, that men are just wired that way, and that monogamy isn't natural for men. Well, if someone wants to use that argument, there are many, many things we do in this world, like for instance holding it and not just peeing wherever we happen to be standing, that may not be natural but we do because we're civilized people.Just saying, both genders tend to excuse their actions when they cheat. @@Hopetobebetter
The way Cody feels about love is so palpable through the screen 🥺 he’s a lover boy guys, through and through
I really appreciate cody’s sensitivity towards the queer couple and his recognition that he doesn’t have the experience to comment on their dynamic. Even as a queer woman i was kinda lost for words regarding their conflict at first
the whole gender dysphoria vs being intimately unfulfilled and insecure conflict was so heavy for a cut video lmao
@@womankisserjermaluvrI would agree but I can't. Just like this video might've been low-key helpful for straight viewers in their relationships, I feel like it not only shed a light for straight viewers on queer relationships, but also may have helped queer viewers understand themselves a little better
@@TinyAndFluffybro it's cody ko chill
Yes I appreciated that. When they said their body dysmoprphia trumped her issue with not wanting to bottom and cody was like yeah idk anything about that.
@@coolbutnotverycool1440they seem calm lol
seeing rae constantly invalidate everything mia said triggers me to no end. immediately saying “i cannot imagine any emotional sacrifice you made for our relationship” when the host addressed mia’s answer was INSANE. invalidating mia’s struggle with intimacy because her struggle was supposedly insurmountable to rae’s struggle with their body is crazy. mia tried to set boundaries that were overlooked because rae was struggling with their gender, which is not okay. you can empathize with someone without having your boundaries disrespected and clearly mia doesn’t believe this because rae DISRESPECTED their boundaries and refused to acknowledge their willingness to sacrifice intimate boundaries and pleasure to please rae. holy shit, rae sounds insufferable. i hope mia finds someone better.
gender dysphoria is a real tricky thing it can make you act selfish because it literally engulfs your entire brain and can be ALL u can think about so whilst i understand and empathise with ray its still not an excuse to ignore mia's sexual identity i think they are just a prime example of not meant to be and thats okay it happens a lot in queer relationships i hope they both find their person!
@@nightmrj not an excuse to be a cunt, just an explanation
@@nightmrjif you are suffering to the extent that you become selfish then you need to fix that for yourself- you should probably not be in a relationship let alone use it as an excuse to mistreat your partner. Same as any mental illness like depression, it’s unfortunate, but not acceptable to take it out on someone
as a nonbinary person who has dysphoria and has dated other nonbinary folks, watching Rae invalidate Mia was ROUGH. Using gender dysphoria to one-up and invalidate another person's discomfort is awful. Mia's discomfort is just as valid as Rae's. Their discomfort can be different and equally important. Mia definitely did make a sacrifice by having to do something that made her uncomfortable a lot. Rae's martyrdom was too much for me. Rough rough rough to watch.
@@nightmrj I think it's more telling that Ray still feels Mia's suffering wasn't enough to be considered valid. During that time it makes sense for Ray to have felt that way but Ray's answer shows they still haven't grown since then.
Okay I’m straight as hell and although Mia’s relationship sounded a bit iffy on both sides, her being forced to bottom and her partner invalidating that is absolutely crazy; that definitely was a sacrifice, good god.
I think theirs was definitely the messiest relationship
I don’t think it’s “being forced” to bottom, jesus. Like just because I don’t like anal sex doesn’t mean my partner is “being forced” to not have anal sex. It’s just a preference, if you aren’t sexually compatible then you either deal with it or break up. You don’t call it a sacrifice and expect thanks. There are other ways to have sex.
Edit: and to be clear, what they’re saying is that Mia was a switch who preferred to top, and Ray was an exclusive top. Mia wasn’t being forced to bottom, she was “being forced” to not top. Because Ray wasn’t into that. Like dude, you can’t expect thanks from not doing a sex act someone doesn’t want you to do to them.
@@spook6394nah mia continually giving up what she wants to do sexually bc her partner was topping majority of the time, knowing it’s also what Mia wanted was selfish on ray’s part, & it was definitely Mia sacrificing what she wanted intimacy wise repeatedly for her partner. I understand ray had a gender identity crises and body dysmorphia but to continue to discount that Mia was giving up doing what she likes sexually for ray and that it doesn’t pale to what ray was going through was shitty
i think the issue was just miscommunication and ray hadnt yet accepted their gender identity so at the start maybe they were into both bottoming and topping however they discovered bottoming was in fact not okay at all and they therefore set that boundary but then that accidentally invalidates mia's sexual identity as someone who doesnt always want to bottom yk its just a case of two ppl not right for eachover and thats fine it happens especially in young queer relationships yk ive heard it happen so many times just hope they both grew and matured
@@spook6394Firstly two completely different situations, also they didn't say that at all, Mia said that they both are Tops, not that she liked to switch and she literally said that if she didn't bottom then they couldn't be intimate, which is manipulative behavior. She was doing things she didn't want to do to make Ray happy and Ray would not get over themselves to see where Mia was coming from.
I dated a guy like Dane and honestly it is good to see from an outside perspective how he speaks and acts because when you're in it, it's incredibly hard to see what everyone else can see. Love the guy, but almost impossible to move forward when they are always the victim. 🙁
Yes exactly I dated someone just like him, just like him, they could be twins in how they act though mine did a lot of even worse things but it’s quite fairly possible he has done all those things too, I hope she just stays as far away as she can so one day she can be like us watching a video of a guy like this and just angry that he was so sh*tty rather than being trapped in that manipulation
That’s the same for the women though
I also did, you're right it's eye opening to hear what other ppl hear
@@evangingerson1271 bro get out of here lmaooo are you 14?😂😂
Bingo. Domestic Violence counsellor here. Smugness, gaslighting, lack of accountability...the FIRST fight and how each person treats the other will reveal ALL potential red flags. I promise
I believe Luna started out as immature in a way (since she was attracted to Dane for some reason) but matured as their relationship progressed. It's kinda sad that Dane is blaming Luna's matureness for him not being able to support their relationship as much (which he barely did the bare minimum). I'm glad Luna is out of that stinky situation, literally and figuratively speaking.
Luna probably didn’t see the red flags in Dane at first, but as the relationship progressed he revealed more and more of his true colors, making Luna realize who he actually was. I know that tends to happen a lot in relationships like the one Luna and Dane had.
not defending Dane here, but moving states leaving your family isn’t bare minimum
still on Luna’s side here, the way Dane talks about chores was like a 14yo
Very accurate 😁
But you can’t hold it over someone’s head if you independently chose to do it, like she barely said anything about it but he claimed he did it so she could be close to family but I don’t think she asked for that at all, almost seems like he didn’t actually have family or anything that liked him there cause he was terrible to people but he is manipulating it into something supposedly grand because he wants to use it to hold over her and guilt her and manipulate her and manipulate how she sees him, I also saw in another comment that the gap was 2 hours between those two places, those two states are beside each other so it’s very possible that other comment is correct
cody not knowing about the powerpoint trend just emphasized how ancient he is 💖 such an old man
I have never heard of it either 😂
I am 29, am I ancient? I have never heard of it at all lol
Cody is really getting his sons college fund ready w these constant vids
As he should
it been ready
is their baby a boy? like did i miss the announcement
@@margaretturtle5827yeah, they posted about it in august
@@margaretturtle5827the baby announcement was also the gender announcement (“we’re having a baby boy in January”)
Dane is such a broken little person, he deserves himself lol
cody’s takes on powerpoints shows his age more than most things
I was thinking the same thing 😭
@@Killerhawk778he's right. Most people don't do that and I'm college age. I don't know ANYONE who would do that my age
@@Peayou...fr what 😭 whose out here doing random ass PowerPoints💀
@@Peayou... Ok, that girl was clearly a bad partner but the powerpoint thing was the most normal thing ever. I'm college age and it's not surprising someone would do that
@@highland42 maybe people who are doing light work majors but everyone i know doesn't have the time or the want to use PowerPoint
Ray used their gender dysphoria as a way to diminish Mia’s issues and concerns and they seemed super spiteful and rude the whole time
“You could never understand how I felt” when you basically forced your girlfriend to have sex in a way she didn’t like a majority of the time which is _ _ _ _
it came off more like mia treating them like a sex vending machine that she resented more each time she used it bc the button for her favorite soda was broken. like she literally did use other ones too on the reg that had that ready for her but felt this particular one owes it to her the most bc that one felt the most convenient to stick around. putting aside the laundry list of textbook examples and signs of abuse towards her ex on blatant display, its pretty ✨️✨️✨️✨️ing rich to even imagine attempting to twist what little was revealed here into what you had the absolute gall to defecate out of your mouth ^in your comment above^. in what world do you see someone unapologetically going, "yes, i think beggars CAN be choosers, shame on you for forcing me to ask for just a mere fraction of the physical intimacy im owed and not to force you to force yourself to disregard your boundaries" being not only in the right, but actually A Wronged Party in this situation?
"i wanted to do more to your body than what you were physically and psychologically able to allow someone to, so i had to settle for less than what i REALLY hoped. but since that was still better than nothing so i was FORCED into choosing that to get at least SOME physical gratification out of you. youre so inconsiderate for MAKING me pretend that a sexual act causing my partner severe trauma means anywhere near as much as how good it would feel for me. in fact just the heinous crime alone of daring to have 6ual trauma in my presence is so much WORSE for ME than any trauma itself that i get a free pass for life and everyone should only care about how HORRIBLE it is for ME to be UPSET" im literally gonna throw up ::)))))
@@sambibambi5409 pardon? I’m gonna need you to dial it back and watch the tone you speak to me with
Nah, don't hold back your tone. You hit the nail on the head.@@sambibambi5409
Yeah that sucked
It feels like Cody is pumping out videos at an all time rate, knowing he is going to take a quite a bit of time off when he becomes a dad. And I’m here for it ❤
i know ! i feel like i should stop watching them as soon as they come out so i can have some to watch later
I feel bad but also so happy for Luna. I feel bad that she had to date someone like that, but I’m happy she is finally free. Based on all the comments here, it’s safe to say she can finally be seen for her efforts. Dane sounds like a straight up manipulator of emotions.
I love how Jennifer, (love languages gal) in the end chocks it up to, ‘when he would show love to me, I just couldn’t understand it so I couldn’t receive it as love’, but when she would show love to him, it’s, ‘he didn’t care about how I showed him love and counted it as nagging’.
Something that sticks out to me from this video is how gratitude and appreciation can make a night and day difference in a relationship. I get the sense Mia would have been ok sacrificing some things about their sex life for instance if Ray had shown more gratitude and not simply felt entitled to get what they wanted bc they “suffered more” or something. That doesn’t excuse taking someone for granted or diminishing their experience. So entitled and self centered honestly
Cody’s commentary this episode was spot on. I felt like I was thinking the exact same things throughout lol
Dane seems like he only ever provided or supported Luna just to "make her happy", just so whenever she had any complaints or things she wanted him to work on he can throw all of his support in her face and devalue her boundaries and wishes
Dane is just incredibly toxic. I’ll admit I’m biased because I was in a relationship where I had basically word for word the exact same experiences plus a lot more. But the way that Luna is talking and is just so clearly 100% over having the exact same conversation with this dude and it having no affect whatsoever. He thinks that just an apology is enough, but so clearly doesn’t believe that he ever did anything wrong. Note how his “sacrifice” was a decision that he made and wholeheartedly agreed to before it happened, knowing exactly what he was getting into, but hers was a situation that he forced her into and she had no idea was going to happen so in order for her to live comfortably she had no choice but to take care of him as if he was a child and he still thinks that his sacrifice was bigger than hers. I’d bet that this wasn’t the first time they’ve broken up, because as soon as he realises that she isn’t listening to his empty apologies anymore he just immediately starts attacking and dismissing her. I’m so happy for Luna that she got out of that relationship.
nah you're not biased at all, the whole time i could not stop getting the most terrible narcissistic feeling from Dane. Dane is incredibly toxic.. and why tf is his head always angled upward like he's trying so hard to look down on people.
Idk dawg. I just feel like luna is very manipulative. Not saying he is great. But idk it just seems like she is holding him as a puppet. Yeah i also feel bad for him...
I think he's short, I've noticed short guys do it I think to look taller @@colinmakestrash
@@yoman5395what does this even mean. And you have no evidence to back this up.
@@backupnameplease you don't either. And we are just commenting on smth we all have no idea. We are taking the content and interprating it. So yeah what does anything mean right :)
dane smiling when luna says she feels bad about him being sad.. EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION on danes end
50 MINUTES???? cody feeding us well
He never fails to spread open my cheeks and fill me with joy ❤
we eatin good
Cody clapping and saying “we’re having fun” half out of breathe is so funny 😂 he’s such an old man
laughing and giggling until priscilla said she still thinks about the way he made her feel safe now I’m crying
Yeah. Same😢
Dane talking about getting yelled at for not washing his cereal bowl sent me because he looks like the kind of man baby who just sits around eating captain crunch all day bc he’s too lazy to cook.
I love how the girl who was ALWAYS on top in the sex part of their relationship keeps saying the girl never did anything for her. 😂
that chick was clearly the most toxic of them all
Had the nerve to say that her ex always letting her top was "not a real sacrifice" like what are you talking about?? Sex isn't everything but if I never ever got to do what I liked during sex in a long term relationship, I would end up just never wanting to do it. It's absolutely a sacrifice. Guess it depends on how you value sex, though.
definitely suffers from some control issues and thinks bottoming is demeaning or something
@@HeyaayyayaayyaThats literally not the case…they said the reason they didnt bottom was because they were struggling with gender dysphoria and that made them uncomfortable. youre just villainizing them when they already provided context.
@@KMFDM242 and that's fair but if bottoming makes you dysphoric then dating another top is never going to work out. it did sort of come off like they felt their gender dysphoria was more meaningful and a bigger deal than any issues their girlfriend could possibly have, like they just handwaved away that she was also really uncomfortable with bottoming because she didn't have a good enough reason.
not only is he posting so frequently but then he blesses us with a FIFTY minute video?!?! Thank you Cody :O
Cody, I propose that you do a relationship-centered series. You have more grounded, emotional intelligence than all the men I’ve dated, combined.
I concur!! He could start with Luna and My. Lol
Dated? Or gone on a date with? Shouldn’t get with a person if you don’t know them enough to know wether they’re emotionally intelligent enough
@@Orestes-e7o This almost gave me a brain aneurysm. You should reread your comments BEFORE you press reply, bud.
How dane thinks he's justified holding himself to such a high regard and trying to play the victim says sooooo much about him
47:54 That guiding her with his hand at the back of her neck thing is honestly one of the most special feelings in the world.
im so sorry but as a trans person and someone who is still like super dysphoric a lot of the time,,,,,,,, the fact that she had to bottom which she does not like to do so much that she felt she was emotionally and mentally exhausted from it is absolutely a sacrifice. if you cant be comfortable with your body enough to bottom and the other person takes that burden as a top to bottom for you, that IS a sacrifice that should be acknowledged and appreciated. and i get that gender stuff is extremely hard but it doesnt stop you from acknowledging that.
Yeah, it felt like acknowledgment was all Mia wanted from that conversation! Like, obviously we don't know what happened in their relationship before, if Mia had been pressuring or disrespectful in their relationship or something, but ruling out that and just judging from this instance Ray was being really dismissive of Mia. At least Ray was not speaking on the same wavelength as Mia. It absolutely is a sacrifice to push your comfort zone during sex, especially in your first queer relationship where you might not be so clear about where your boundaries lay.
It’s sex. Communicate what you want/need. If bottoming is really such a big trigger then don’t do it or recognize that you’re sexually incompatible if your partner refuses to respect that.
Seems like an issue one has full capability to resolve through simple communication. Why do people expect others to be mind-readers?
yeah for sure. i agreed with ray for the most part during this vid, but them completely dismissing the fact that mia had also made that sacrifice was kinda fucked up. i struggled a lot with gender dysphoria in the past (and still do sometimes) and i totally understand where rays coming from, but they shouldn’t just not acknowledge mia just because they had it harder. like most couples in this vid i feel like it all just came down to communication issues tbh
Totally agree on this. It was annoying to hear her dismiss Mia’s effort to accommodate her. It can be true that they both struggled with that sexual dynamic.
It reminds me why I keep away from some victim mentality types. Their problems are ‘so big’ they can’t see the accommodations or struggles of others.
sounds like mia was waiting for rey to come around to do something they were never going to be comfortable with. especially with that added pressure of expectation… If mia felt as strongly about not bottoming they could have also shared that at first but it seems like she’s just a top/switch who doesn’t respect a stone tops boundaries :/
Dane immediately makes my fight or flight kick in when he speaks. Luna, don't ever look back.
i love how in depth the lesbian couple was in their break down of the relationship. felt very real and i wish more people could see this side of the lgbtq community. like not the dysfunctional aspect but the conversation about how they view relationships.