@@巴刹那I had a good relationship with a woman but my heart is with men. But it's hard when you listen to how they the majority disrespect us so openly, I struggle to want to date if this is in their head
Sadly, I don’t think they’ll hear it coming from him either because he’s gay AND he’s holding black men accountable. I’ve heard my boyfriend talk about the code and I feel like black men are more loyal to that than their own families. They won’t speak out against a black man unless he did something sexual to kids and, even then, they better be real little for it to be unacceptable across the board … and don’t let him be famous. It’s a wrap.
It’s very important that we, as BW, stop having babies by men who don’t bring anything to the table and then we, as BW, have to put the food on that same table to feed the child that they help create. Say “No” to Pookies and Ray Rays that have not already built security to take care of a family. Ain’t nothing going on but the rent!
I agree. I also avoid having the smallest conversations with BM at this point. Its usually blaming the white man for everything, how BW wear their hair and why many BW are single and should be married. Its never on finding happiness and peace. The talking points always center around the fact that all BW should be submissive and not further their education. Its sad.
It's not just "Pookie and Ray Ray". Women are having the same problems with most BM refusing to build anything or provide for, protect the women and children of their community. The so-called "high value" and "educated lames" are also asking women to go 50/50 and abandoning their children, leaving even their preferences as single mothers.
That is a great mating strategy as long as you are willing to share the already built man. To a man who already has his ishhh together you aren't special to him because you never put in any work or time equity into helping become fully built & secure. The already built men you want generally wife up the special women who loved them before they were secure. Already built men have no respect for the women that choose to wait at the finish line for him than build with him. There is an inherent laziness and weakness men sense in the type of woman that is not willing to go through hardships with you as man. Why have kids or marry such a woman? If she is not willing to go through life's hardships with you, what more your seed... Anyway since a fully built man is rare, he is special & that means the competition for that man is going to be stiff & he has no incentive to settle for just one of you because many women will willingly share a ready built & financially secure man... Another thing is there are more women like you than there are financially secure ready built men like him. So the power dynamic there is he is worth more than you on the sexual marketplace. Remember male mammals in general are as faithful as their options and aren't biologically monogamous... In other words *The already built secure man can't be SECURED ladies* , as long as you understand that fact go ahead and switch up your mating strategy to overlook and disqualify men who are not yet fully built along with the pookies/ray rays... Just be willing to deal the consequences of dealing with already SELF made powerful men (you will have to submit and share them... if you even make the cut to qualify for them with the level of stiff competition there is for them. Good luck ladies💙🙏🏽)
I’m a GBM and I approve this message. I’m so sick of these low vibrational chumps being the Blarens of the community. It’s chaotic. They go hard on BW and GBM, but the BW are are holding it down, and the Gays are stepping up and being The surrogate fathers and uncles to these children who have Blarens for fathers. Umar needs to go somewhere and sat down. You gunning for the wrong group especially when you been opening up this school since Sarah had Isaac. I’m sick of these SBM and this toxic masculinity. They so busy investing in their proximity to White patriarchy that they are literally killing the growth of our community. The gag is white men, the ones that don’t fetishize, are dating and marriage BW and they have the most stable unions. BM and WW can’t keep it together because they have the highest divorce rates. Two Karen’s will never work. Sister I adore you! You are the gift of life and your brilliance is unmatched. I will always cover and protect you❤️
I feel like black women are NOT resting in masculine energy. This is just how we are. Maybe the definition of what feminine energy should look like is based on a patriarchal standard. Women can be strong, fierce and loving all at once. We need to redefine what resting in your “feminine” energy is.
Ancient Africa was also matriarchal so the natural energy that black women are exhibiting may seem masculine (I think they really mean the energy of leadership) because naturally we were leaders and respected/supported by our men as such
Black women are how all women should be. A combination of both masculine and feminine energy because we are the mother of all. The current definition of femininity is based on patriarchal ideas that disempower and enslave women. That is NOT how we are supposed to be.
I believe that a lot of BM are embarrassed because they didn’t accomplish much in life and it makes them feel better to blame the successful BW. If that same BM is leaving baby mamas all over the place and doesn’t have a vision or worked his vision to be successful, he needs to look within. Ask himself how has he contributed to the betterment of the family or has his behavior contributed to the demise. Running to another race of women doesn’t fix your personal problems.
I agree. I see so many bitter BM online and just out and about. I do my best to stay away from them. They seem to be jealous of BW who are doing better than them. And will find any way to downplay your success.
@@elleinthea1678 my old friend from high school is a brainwashed Pickmeisha. She keeps posting on Facebook how she desperate in need of job. She got 6 kids (2 young babies) and if she doesn't find employment soon she will be face with eviction in February. Oh yeah...she married. She married to an able-bodied husky ass BM man. 2.5 yrs ago she started a Gofundme because they were facing eviction...they raised $150 in total.🤦🏾♀️ Oh...and she got epilepsy sooo This girl is a single, married woman and is too stupid to realize. Like sis, why is your housing situation contingent upon YOUR employment when you got "King" ??? Your husband should be ashamed of himself.
@@catmouse2882 that is a terrible story and I feel for your friend, her clearly lazy husband and most importantly her children. I highly recommend she and her husband update their skills because there are several jobs out there in the world of IT and health care or consider relocating to a city with more job opportunities and a lower cost of living. They are both grown and both should be responsible for providing for the six children otherwise why have 6 kids your irresponsible selves can’t truly afford.
@@elleinthea1678 I agree....but He, her husband, is responsible for providing for those children. That's not her burden. It only becomes her burden if she's a single mother. Her husband is the lazy piece of s****! I'm sad that she is forced to work because her lazy husband doesn't want to improve their family situation.
This baby making issues is a danm shame. Apart of my father’s story I have another Tonya. I have a cousin who dated a guy for 5 years. They were living on the same street just across each other. 2 years into the relationship, the guy’s mom moved in and he introduced them to each other. This man made a ceremony and asked my cousin to marry him. 5 years in, cousin got pregnant, she went and told the guy and his coldness shocked her so she went to the mom. This lady told my cousin that her son is already married and has 2 kids. She told my cousin that 4 prior, the wife and kids immigrated to Canada from the US and was living in the same city as us at a family member’s house. The guy was already trying to find an apartment for them so they could all moved together. When my cousin confronted him, he didn’t deny it so cousin told him that she will get an abortion because she didn’t want to raise a kid in a single home and didn’t want to came between them. He agrees and told her that he would go with her for the procedure. They day it was supposed to happen, he didn’t show and just blocked her altogether. She called me crying and I had to leave class to go meet her at the doctor’s office where she was waiting. That’s why I side eyes black men whom are against abortion. Most of the time they are the main reason a woman seeks one in the first place.
I enjoy this. I was six months on a job when a position came up. A man who was on the job about eleven years was given the position. But he refused because he stated he had to talk it over with his wife. His wife ran the show. When I was given the position, that man became so angry. He began to threaten me. He put holes in my tires. He even brought his wife to me to belittle me in public. Well, he was fired. All because he was not masculine enough to take the lead on a job and it was given to a woman.
That first caller needs to understand that just because people are your family that doesn’t mean you have to be involved in relationships with them. Cut them people off.
Ok taking your comment & hypothetically speaking. Obviously that didn’t work. Maybe if ancient Africa was patriarchal then other patriarchal societies wouldn’t have been able to enslave our matriarchal society.
@@TheOriginalScorpioBelle you do know that Matriarchy wasn’t the SOLE social structure in precolonial societies in Africa right? Patriarchy still existed before and after Chattel slavery. So what are you even saying 😂
Oh goodness, I’m binge watching all your videos while the kids are at school and hubbys at work! Your channel is really lifting my spirit today! Thank you❤
Not only life insurance but health insurance is also what they never have my mom worked in a hospital and rappers were getting treatment for gun wounds with neither
You ain’t never lied. It’s sad. They carry all their money in cash with nowhere to store it because they spend it stupidly on top of that. So when it comes to the basic needs such as insurance, credit, savings, etc. they don’t have anything in their names.
Lawd that caller irked my soul. Has he seen how many rapes happen in the military. As well as when Black WOMEN are murdered in the military. Their deaths go unsolved. One Black woman was found dead in her room. Like the Cognitive dissonance is painful
Sis this needs to covered more. We are raped more and DISCIPLINED more!!! Made to feel uncomfortable at all. They prey on young black women on deployments and use their power against them when they’re not sure of their agency
@@ChasityXoxo 100% . I live in a state where essentially anyone who joins the army ends up doing basic here. The military is the last place you send a 18yo female child. Especially a black one. 18yo's are still children mentally. Male to female ratio is so unbalanced. Rape is common. Bodies are found often but they always discipline internally 🙄 That male caller was an idiot.
I had an encounter in the Army where I legit thought I would be killed by and discarded while I served on active duty. The issues women, especially women of color, face are enormous and no one talks about it.
Lmao… in general this guy is speaking facts and I think it’s interesting to hear from a gay black man. I really just wish black people as a whole would stop the toxicity and just do better. Get therapy and start striving to be better partners, take care of financial obligations, get educated and live a healthy lifestyle. Running around doing drugs, drinking alcohol, overspending and being only concerned about sexual pleasure will continue to lead us to destruction. Let’s just do better and stop being so self centered because that guy is right…. You can not lead your community if you are too busy being a violent closeted homophobic criminal running woman. You can’t become employed unless you go to trade school or obtain a professional formal education in a need area. You can’t pass wealth to the next generation if you don’t pay for life insurance, buy a home, start a successful business, invest in stocks and bonds and save money. I just don’t understand 🤷🏽♀️… this society has clearly laid out the blueprint for success in this society. If you don’t follow it well have fun staying on the bottom in the hood continuing to troll on TH-cam about how unfair the world is.
Why are you saying "You can not lead your community if you are too busy being a violent closeted homophobic criminal running woman." It's the B/Male that is doing this not BW.
@@tripleagiftbox2391 no doubt. I live my words of advice everyday. My husband and I work together to build a solid future. We are both educated with advanced degrees, actively in therapy and building a strong financial legacy for our families future. Both of us have benefited from parents that did the same which is why it was easier for us to fall in line for our child. So that’s exactly my point. Kudos to those of us who are doing it and those of us who are not need to fall in line. That’s why I said “Black people as a whole” in my original statement.
I'm glad a BM is saying this, because most bm only listens to BM advise. I agree Toya, let him speak I don't care if he's pandering because he's telling the truth, it's about time a BM speaks the F up, let other bw start waking up too. Yes, yes and yes. Preach.
I know this videos is old and you may not see this comment but I want to commend you for your calm and rational demeanor that you maintain with every caller regardless of their message. I have learned a lot observing you and I appreciate the example you have set. I will follow suit when I am having discussions about difficult topics as well for it allows my message to be heard without being tainted by my emotion. Thanks Tonya for creating the content you do!
I'm so glad you played this video! SBM think progression is evil and they really don't see how they are oppressing their own communities. Bro was on point, and holding them accountable for ANYTHING gets you backlash and half thought out ideas, typed angrily "with their balls". 😂😂
Tonya doesn't just teach us about self love, she shows us how to do it. I love it when she talks about her own beauty 😍. This is how we should all be. Society continues to try and take this from black women, and Tonya is giving it back. I love to see it!!
@@travon354 well marriage is a horrible thing to jump into when you don't love yourself. It's a lack of self-worth that destroys and leads people into toxic relationships. So yes, I do think that a healthy love of one's self could lead to healthier marriages... Even though that's not the goal. But if it makes you feel better, my Black self has been in a wonderful, healthy marriage with my amazing Black husband for 16 years. I can say that self love is key. 😊
There are many people who will never grant us the grace of recognizing our womanhood and right to rest. Their intellectual dishonesty isn't indicative of our intrinsic value as black women, and you are worthy of comfort even if you're never granted the validation that comes with societal agreement. Our woman ancestors probably died with sweat on their backs and bags under their eyes - so, are you going to listen to this fool and disgrace them by dying the same? Think about it, black women...
This ❤💯 I am an BW, formerly a pickme , formerly a Mammy. 2016/2017 was my Grand Awakening. I broke out of the Matrix chile🤣 I am not an happily unemployed married woman. My husband provides with a joyful heart and it feels sooo damn good!!! It feels sooo good I want go out preach the good word to other brainwashed BW. Like...my old high school friend. She a flamin Pickme with epilepsy. She 6 kids and according to her Facebook post if she don't get a job soon she's facing eviction. Nevermind she and her kids got evicted 3 yrs ago. Nevermind she married to an able-bodied husky ass BM who gave her all them kids to feed. They high school sweethearts who been struggling since they 18th birthday.🤣 She posted a few days ago about how much she love her Black "king"...a king who needs help keeping the lights on in the palace.😬 I sooo want to DM and tell her about hypergamy, the importance of BW resting in our femininity, importance of masculine men providing....but I'm afraid it will go right over her head.
@@catmouse2882 I understand the desire to persuade her; I often feel the need to do the same for the black women in my life too. Something I have learned on this journey is that some don’t want to be saved, and we (as sisters, friends, mothers, and daughters) have to find a way to cope with their decision to remain where they are. Some women won’t outgrow this within our lifetime, we ourselves are lucky to be coachable enough to change.
The only thing I disagree with is the sentiment that BW are meant to go it alone/ have it tough (matriarchal society) and BM aren’t meant to be head of households. Oh they’re meant to be there. They just do a piss poor job at it and no one is going to put them in a position where they don’t qualify. They want to be the head without doing the work to deserve it!
I agree fully! That’s why they don’t do their part now. They need to be their part or be alone. Black women are tired of being the heads, it’s time to rest. So homeboy got it wrong on that part for me but I was with him for the most part.
I disagree with the matriarchal part as well. Black men are more than capable of leading, they just never had a blueprint in this generation. Post traumatic slave syndrome is real. Black men think leadership is how white men treated us during slavery and colonialism. Or how white men lead them on their 12 hours a day jobs. Real leadership is about provision and protection. Black men need to ask, what foundation have I set for my family? Do they feel safe? Even though i grew up without a father in the home i am lucky enough to have cousins that are great fathers. So I'm a witness to the capabilities of black men.
@@khloe38 my old high school friend is a BW with 6 kids and I swear you'd think she was a struggling single mother. She got epilepsy. She constantly on Facebook telling the world she desperate for a job because she and her kids will be homeless by February. Almost 3 yrs ago they faced eviction. Oh...and she married. She married her high school sweetheart (her "Black Kangz" as she calls him) and something tells me she been in poverty with this man since day 1. She posted today on Facebook about how only "strong women" will help their man pay the rent. She lost...I feel like reaching out to her but I don't want to hurt her feelings
Matriarchal does not mean there are no men. It just means that women lead the household and, therefore, society. Which is literally happening right now anyway. 70% of black mothers are unmarried
Therapy is also about the relationship you have with your therapist. Every therapist is not for everyone. You have to try different ones until you find the right fit. So just switching therapists after you’ve found a good fit might not work.
You should see the reply’s in his comments!! He went harder than this video that u showed! I read some of the comments under this video. I do not think that he means black women should be doing it by themselves. in another video reply in his comments he stated black men should be protecting black women so strong that nobody should be able to attack us. He went off in the video replies to this video on TikTok
And he's up here talking about women are respected in the military. No we aren't sir!!! In some instances yes, but at the end of the day women are still working harder to prove they can lead. The only thing that sets military apart is the guidelines that taking us to respect rank. So it may appear women in higher ranks are being respected but they aren't. Hell lets not talk about my experience and the ladies under and over me. And sidenote...outside of military speak BW lead because we have to. We find a way and make it happen. I would love to rest in my femininity all the time but can't. That gay military man making excuses took me all the way out.😒
Okay and one more thing women when a man asks you what you're bringing to the table ask him what is he bringing to the table don't you dare answer him and don't you dare say that you're bringing sex to the table. That's not all you bring to the table you bring a warm sense of security and support and our roof over your head a home-cooked meal and then and only then can say and some banging ass love making. " You don't have to impress a man from the door you don't have to let him know your life story you don't even have to let him know your salary and what you do for a living because when men get online and they ask you what you do for a living they're counting your dollars. We accept them without jobs we accept them in between not having work. We pay all the bills but do you think they do that for us if they was to do a survey and ask how many of us live with a man and they've taken care of us men would fail especially black men. I know actors who have come on to women came on to me cuz they thought oh there's an older woman I can come stay with her while I'm in town get some sex but I cut that s*** short no you will not I'm not interested. They don't care they could be making money and they still don't want to help you out and if you ask for help then they want to say you're a gold digger how am I a gold digger when you don't have a gold mine and that's physically and metaphorically.
I know what I "bring to the table" that's why I'm not afraid to eat ALONE! I have my own home, car, money, credit, degree, etc. that I worked and paid for. Whenever a dusty asks you that question, it's because he has nothing to offer you. Also if they bring up s3x, finances on a first date, RUN.
A woman brings female companionship to the table. Many men like the presence of a woman. Men pay for the presence. That is why call girls make a living. Many of these men when they travel they look for a woman.
🧐Everything he has said was all BW content creator talking points. In general we as BW need to stop praising BM(Straight or Gay when they make a few videos. BM get online and talk either good or bad about us, but there really after Click/Views/Superchat and Cash apps from BW. We need to support BW content creators because this is our movement...not there's. BW please do not be fooled by fake allies..🙅🏾♀️🙅🏾♀️
Baby, when Tonya hung up the phone on that woman, I HOLLERED. We managed to have everybody who called in stay on topic, whether they had good points or not. Here she comes, ironically ACTING LIKE A KAREN, deciding she didn’t have to listen to the show and she’s gonna choose the topics. Tonya said, actually, that’s what you’re NOT gonna do. Have a blessed day 😘🤣
A LOT of BM wish they were WM if you took BMs skin tone away and you listen just to what they say.... Jamelle Hill was right for saying what she said ✅️
Girl you…did this lol that 3rd caller the 🌈 guy was a hot mess. You handled that very well..when he said financially..we are employed more, entrepreneurs and seek higher education and then politically we do control the vote. He still found a way to blame us lol. I’m sorry but he represents the type of 🌈 we have a problem with whereas the man who made the video represents change. Awesome video and commentary. There is a change coming over us. I’ve been watching you all other the women plus some you mentioned for years and it changed my views. I’m 37, childfree, educated and gainfully employed and BM are so intimidated by me and us it’s sickening. I’m so happy BW and others in our community are rising up against this toxic masculinity. 💜
Everyone is running to catch up to the wave created by the persistence of BW. If it’s not a BW speaking on this issue it could be a grift, no matter how passionate or genuine it may appear. After witnessing an ENTIRE grift that is the pro-wax, i.e., pro BM movement, I stay skeptical on the intentions of BM. Sorry.
I completely agree with Tonya about therapy being a tool. I signed up for both Cerebral and another app to get therapy from several people. 🤣 We need to make our mental health a priority.
His name is Kima Ali (link in description). He Durraaaggggssss BM who criticize the gay community.
Watch & leave you comment below
Thanks so much
He said… “y’all can’t even die right.” I HOLLERED🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Real tears 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I started wheezing.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
YASSSS…. Instead of is just dropping dead. They stay around for nurse maids. Ha no more of that those day’s are over. We’re not doing it anymore!
Yes!!!! I literally SCREAMED!!! 🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🤣🤣🤣
💀
People are mad! Black women are waking up finally 👐🏽 🌬
It’s not people who are mad, it’s BM but they don’t have to worry too much because those “pick-me’s” are not going anywhere🤣
Nobody is mad. You guys are the obese ones and the least married. I feel bad for y'all in your echo chambers making up facts
@@Ac_chillinstraight** black men. Gay men dont have this issue
@@巴刹那I had a good relationship with a woman but my heart is with men. But it's hard when you listen to how they the majority disrespect us so openly, I struggle to want to date if this is in their head
@@巴刹那yes, so-called straight bm. I’m awake and have updated my preference!
He said y'all don't even die right 💀💀💀
I was just about to write this!!!!
Omg that sent me!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is my favorite thing I have ever seen in my life
😭😭😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀🔥🔥🔥🔥 he spoke straight facts 💯💯💯
😭😂😂
The more you help BM the more they hate you.
I agree they become resentful and try to drag the women down instead off stepping up
It takes another man to correct another man.. Please continue Mister ...
@Goddess Goddess yep! Facts🎯🎯
Sadly, I don’t think they’ll hear it coming from him either because he’s gay AND he’s holding black men accountable.
I’ve heard my boyfriend talk about the code and I feel like black men are more loyal to that than their own families.
They won’t speak out against a black man unless he did something sexual to kids and, even then, they better be real little for it to be unacceptable across the board … and don’t let him be famous. It’s a wrap.
How foolish though!
Homosexual men cant correct real men. They think in the same mind frame as women like Tonya TkO
@@jojacko lol
It’s very important that we, as BW, stop having babies by men who don’t bring anything to the table and then we, as BW, have to put the food on that same table to feed the child that they help create. Say “No” to Pookies and Ray Rays that have not already built security to take care of a family. Ain’t nothing going on but the rent!
👏👏🎶 Got to have J-O-B if you wanna beeeee with meeee! 🎵🎵🎵🎵🎤💅 😂
I agree. I also avoid having the smallest conversations with BM at this point. Its usually blaming the white man for everything, how BW wear their hair and why many BW are single and should be married. Its never on finding happiness and peace. The talking points always center around the fact that all BW should be submissive and not further their education. Its sad.
I can’t even listen to him!
It's not just "Pookie and Ray Ray". Women are having the same problems with most BM refusing to build anything or provide for, protect the women and children of their community. The so-called "high value" and "educated lames" are also asking women to go 50/50 and abandoning their children, leaving even their preferences as single mothers.
That is a great mating strategy as long as you are willing to share the already built man. To a man who already has his ishhh together you aren't special to him because you never put in any work or time equity into helping become fully built & secure. The already built men you want generally wife up the special women who loved them before they were secure. Already built men have no respect for the women that choose to wait at the finish line for him than build with him. There is an inherent laziness and weakness men sense in the type of woman that is not willing to go through hardships with you as man. Why have kids or marry such a woman? If she is not willing to go through life's hardships with you, what more your seed...
Anyway since a fully built man is rare, he is special & that means the competition for that man is going to be stiff & he has no incentive to settle for just one of you because many women will willingly share a ready built & financially secure man... Another thing is there are more women like you than there are financially secure ready built men like him. So the power dynamic there is he is worth more than you on the sexual marketplace.
Remember male mammals in general are as faithful as their options and aren't biologically monogamous... In other words *The already built secure man can't be SECURED ladies* , as long as you understand that fact go ahead and switch up your mating strategy to overlook and disqualify men who are not yet fully built along with the pookies/ray rays... Just be willing to deal the consequences of dealing with already SELF made powerful men (you will have to submit and share them... if you even make the cut to qualify for them with the level of stiff competition there is for them. Good luck ladies💙🙏🏽)
I’m a GBM and I approve this message. I’m so sick of these low vibrational chumps being the Blarens of the community. It’s chaotic. They go hard on BW and GBM, but the BW are are holding it down, and the Gays are stepping up and being The surrogate fathers and uncles to these children who have Blarens for fathers. Umar needs to go somewhere and sat down. You gunning for the wrong group especially when you been opening up this school since Sarah had Isaac. I’m sick of these SBM and this toxic masculinity. They so busy investing in their proximity to White patriarchy that they are literally killing the growth of our community. The gag is white men, the ones that don’t fetishize, are dating and marriage BW and they have the most stable unions. BM and WW can’t keep it together because they have the highest divorce rates. Two Karen’s will never work. Sister I adore you! You are the gift of life and your brilliance is unmatched. I will always cover and protect you❤️
Well said! Not since Sarah had Issac! 💖💖💖
I'm screaming at Sarah and Isaac 🤣😅🤣😅🤣. You 100% right tho. Keep doing you, stay blessed!
@@dday3322 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@itsnotmeitsyou717 🤣🤣🤣🤣thank you and many blessings to you Sis ❤️💯
I had to stop and drink some water cause Chile, you went deep. Thank you sir♥️
I feel like black women are NOT resting in masculine energy. This is just how we are. Maybe the definition of what feminine energy should look like is based on a patriarchal standard. Women can be strong, fierce and loving all at once. We need to redefine what resting in your “feminine” energy is.
Ancient Africa was also matriarchal so the natural energy that black women are exhibiting may seem masculine (I think they really mean the energy of leadership) because naturally we were leaders and respected/supported by our men as such
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
@@Coco_xoxo all the 📠
💜💜💜💯👑
Black women are how all women should be. A combination of both masculine and feminine energy because we are the mother of all. The current definition of femininity is based on patriarchal ideas that disempower and enslave women. That is NOT how we are supposed to be.
He said yall can't even die right! Lol
IKR 😅 😂😂😂😂
@Sacred Chimes The Crystal Healer @Goddess Goddess I caught that myself , and that was a hilarious indictment.
@@kathrynhall1136 pure comedy! But he's so right! 😂😭🙈
@@sacredchimesthecrystalhealer i agree wholeheartedly the seriousness of it to as well. Sad state of affairs.
I believe that a lot of BM are embarrassed because they didn’t accomplish much in life and it makes them feel better to blame the successful BW. If that same BM is leaving baby mamas all over the place and doesn’t have a vision or worked his vision to be successful, he needs to look within. Ask himself how has he contributed to the betterment of the family or has his behavior contributed to the demise. Running to another race of women doesn’t fix your personal problems.
I agree. I see so many bitter BM online and just out and about. I do my best to stay away from them. They seem to be jealous of BW who are doing better than them. And will find any way to downplay your success.
Agreed and it was terrible to be jealous when you can get off your lazy butt and work too!
@@elleinthea1678 my old friend from high school is a brainwashed Pickmeisha. She keeps posting on Facebook how she desperate in need of job. She got 6 kids (2 young babies) and if she doesn't find employment soon she will be face with eviction in February.
Oh yeah...she married. She married to an able-bodied husky ass BM man. 2.5 yrs ago she started a Gofundme because they were facing eviction...they raised $150 in total.🤦🏾♀️
Oh...and she got epilepsy sooo
This girl is a single, married woman and is too stupid to realize.
Like sis, why is your housing situation contingent upon YOUR employment when you got "King" ??? Your husband should be ashamed of himself.
@@catmouse2882 that is a terrible story and I feel for your friend, her clearly lazy husband and most importantly her children. I highly recommend she and her husband update their skills because there are several jobs out there in the world of IT and health care or consider relocating to a city with more job opportunities and a lower cost of living. They are both grown and both should be responsible for providing for the six children otherwise why have 6 kids your irresponsible selves can’t truly afford.
@@elleinthea1678 I agree....but He, her husband, is responsible for providing for those children. That's not her burden. It only becomes her burden if she's a single mother. Her husband is the lazy piece of s****!
I'm sad that she is forced to work because her lazy husband doesn't want to improve their family situation.
This baby making issues is a danm shame.
Apart of my father’s story I have another Tonya. I have a cousin who dated a guy for 5 years. They were living on the same street just across each other. 2 years into the relationship, the guy’s mom moved in and he introduced them to each other. This man made a ceremony and asked my cousin to marry him.
5 years in, cousin got pregnant, she went and told the guy and his coldness shocked her so she went to the mom. This lady told my cousin that her son is already married and has 2 kids. She told my cousin that 4 prior, the wife and kids immigrated to Canada from the US and was living in the same city as us at a family member’s house. The guy was already trying to find an apartment for them so they could all moved together. When my cousin confronted him, he didn’t deny it so cousin told him that she will get an abortion because she didn’t want to raise a kid in a single home and didn’t want to came between them. He agrees and told her that he would go with her for the procedure. They day it was supposed to happen, he didn’t show and just blocked her altogether. She called me crying and I had to leave class to go meet her at the doctor’s office where she was waiting. That’s why I side eyes black men whom are against abortion. Most of the time they are the main reason a woman seeks one in the first place.
😱😱😱 omg. This story is awful
This is absolutely heart breaking 😭.
When he said PURE NECROMANCY I fell over🤣🤣🤣
I enjoy this. I was six months on a job when a position came up. A man who was on the job about eleven years was given the position. But he refused because he stated he had to talk it over with his wife. His wife ran the show. When I was given the position, that man became so angry. He began to threaten me. He put holes in my tires. He even brought his wife to me to belittle me in public. Well, he was fired. All because he was not masculine enough to take the lead on a job and it was given to a woman.
Lolol. Oh my! Damn he was stabbin tires? 😫
@@TonyaTko Pure madman 😆
Wow. Sorry you even with through that mess. BM are scary to deal with. They are always so aggressive to BW. They see us as competition.
If you would have been white. He would’ve been smiling from ear to ear and congratulating you.
@@kelzway2405 😆 Right
It takes a black man to get them together even if he is gay no shade
Lmfao nobody is taking him serious , he's probably tired of rejection ☹️
Really Happy So what lie did he tell, though?
@@deborahfrederick916 straight black men dont listen to us gay black men. our voices are invalidated even when we are telling the truth.
@@deborahfrederick916 I agree with what he said
@@reallyhappy2350 stop trolling This man spoke the truth
That first caller needs to understand that just because people are your family that doesn’t mean you have to be involved in relationships with them. Cut them people off.
Right. I cut my dusty ass twin brother off 5 years ago
As Cynthia would put it, he was DRIL LING !
This one sounds like a eulogy 🪦💀
Drilling for real
I love when Cyn says that lmao
He said “y’all don’t even die right". 😭
😭😭😭
Can someone please give a PH.D certificate to the gentleman?
He summarised their behaviour and don’t stutter while reading them.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
He's right ancient Africa was matriarchal. The religions that enslaved us also taught patriarchy
The woman was the breadwinner. Planting them yams 🥳
Ok taking your comment & hypothetically speaking. Obviously that didn’t work. Maybe if ancient Africa was patriarchal then other patriarchal societies wouldn’t have been able to enslave our matriarchal society.
@@TheOriginalScorpioBelle you do know that Matriarchy wasn’t the SOLE social structure in precolonial societies in Africa right? Patriarchy still existed before and after Chattel slavery. So what are you even saying 😂
@@007BlackCanary I didn’t say that. The person who wrote this comment said that. I was speaking hypothetically using the standard she set forth.
@@TheOriginalScorpioBelle say it say it say it
He saying black women don't lead as if black women haven't been leading this community due to the failure of black men to lead.
🎯
When he said " you can't even die right ". I hit the floor
Its like hetero bm forget that homosexuality has always been observed in ancient societies, even before the "you were without a father" era..
They think being homosexuality was a thing other races did but not blacks. Not true but they don't care about truth
@@googleuser7454 homosexuality happened even in Africa in my country amongst the Sotho tribe it happened but it was women mostly
Oh goodness, I’m binge watching all your videos while the kids are at school and hubbys at work! Your channel is really lifting my spirit today! Thank you❤
The ramping violence is horrific in our community.
Get rid of rap music.
@@God.sDaughterYes.
Oh snap!! He pulled ALL the covers back!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
2022 is the year of bw waking up. I love to see it!
I believe the awakening started two years ago and is getting larger. Imagine what it will look like in 2025.
Wake up and hit the gym hopefully
I've said it before, and I will say it again. Some of these BM want PRIVILEGE, not equality!
Exactly....They want to be treated like the white man. Duhhhhh
Tonya has so much patience with the callers. We appreciate what you do. This was a great video.
Thank you
Boy those live chats were like “hang up” and I felt the same. Tonya really took the time to break it down to him 👏🏽
That’s a true statement Tonya Tko many BW have been forced to lead. Very sad 😔
Not only life insurance but health insurance is also what they never have my mom worked in a hospital and rappers were getting treatment for gun wounds with neither
🤦🏾♀️
You ain’t never lied. It’s sad. They carry all their money in cash with nowhere to store it because they spend it stupidly on top of that. So when it comes to the basic needs such as insurance, credit, savings, etc. they don’t have anything in their names.
He just said everything that's been in my head for years keep preaching brother.👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
hope uv been saying it out loud a lot need to b woke
Lawd that caller irked my soul. Has he seen how many rapes happen in the military. As well as when Black WOMEN are murdered in the military. Their deaths go unsolved. One Black woman was found dead in her room. Like the Cognitive dissonance is painful
Sis this needs to covered more. We are raped more and DISCIPLINED more!!! Made to feel uncomfortable at all. They prey on young black women on deployments and use their power against them when they’re not sure of their agency
@@ChasityXoxo 100% . I live in a state where essentially anyone who joins the army ends up doing basic here. The military is the last place you send a 18yo female child. Especially a black one. 18yo's are still children mentally. Male to female ratio is so unbalanced. Rape is common. Bodies are found often but they always discipline internally 🙄 That male caller was an idiot.
I had an encounter in the Army where I legit thought I would be killed by and discarded while I served on active duty. The issues women, especially women of color, face are enormous and no one talks about it.
@@ChasityXoxo Girl, they don't know the half of it.
@@LolaDelaZeus see that’s what I mean!!! I’m so sorry that happened to you love
“Y’all can’t even die right” sent me 🤣🤣🤣
Lmao… in general this guy is speaking facts and I think it’s interesting to hear from a gay black man. I really just wish black people as a whole would stop the toxicity and just do better. Get therapy and start striving to be better partners, take care of financial obligations, get educated and live a healthy lifestyle. Running around doing drugs, drinking alcohol, overspending and being only concerned about sexual pleasure will continue to lead us to destruction. Let’s just do better and stop being so self centered because that guy is right…. You can not lead your community if you are too busy being a violent closeted homophobic criminal running woman. You can’t become employed unless you go to trade school or obtain a professional formal education in a need area. You can’t pass wealth to the next generation if you don’t pay for life insurance, buy a home, start a successful business, invest in stocks and bonds and save money. I just don’t understand 🤷🏽♀️… this society has clearly laid out the blueprint for success in this society. If you don’t follow it well have fun staying on the bottom in the hood continuing to troll on TH-cam about how unfair the world is.
Preach!
Why are you saying "You can not lead your community if you are too busy being a violent closeted homophobic criminal running woman." It's the B/Male that is doing this not BW.
@@CapricornQueen7425 yeah that comment was directed at BM not BW…
There are lots of Us investing successful etc
@@tripleagiftbox2391 no doubt. I live my words of advice everyday. My husband and I work together to build a solid future. We are both educated with advanced degrees, actively in therapy and building a strong financial legacy for our families future. Both of us have benefited from parents that did the same which is why it was easier for us to fall in line for our child. So that’s exactly my point. Kudos to those of us who are doing it and those of us who are not need to fall in line. That’s why I said “Black people as a whole” in my original statement.
Omg he read them to FILTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
You can’t even die right had me screaming 🥴
I'm glad a BM is saying this, because most bm only listens to BM advise. I agree Toya, let him speak I don't care if he's pandering because he's telling the truth, it's about time a BM speaks the F up, let other bw start waking up too. Yes, yes and yes. Preach.
It does not matter who the messenger is. BM do not care and take every opportunity to evade responsibility.
This man said “y’all can’t even die right” 😝😝😝
Presenting as a massive burden to their family whose already struggling financially 🤦🏽♀️
I know this videos is old and you may not see this comment but I want to commend you for your calm and rational demeanor that you maintain with every caller regardless of their message. I have learned a lot observing you and I appreciate the example you have set. I will follow suit when I am having discussions about difficult topics as well for it allows my message to be heard without being tainted by my emotion. Thanks Tonya for creating the content you do!
The first doctor in Egypt was a African woman.
You know it’s bad when even the gay Blk men are divesting. lol
I'm so glad you played this video! SBM think progression is evil and they really don't see how they are oppressing their own communities. Bro was on point, and holding them accountable for ANYTHING gets you backlash and half thought out ideas, typed angrily "with their balls". 😂😂
“Steak, corn” 😂😂😂 I almost choked on that part
Tonya doesn't just teach us about self love, she shows us how to do it. I love it when she talks about her own beauty 😍. This is how we should all be. Society continues to try and take this from black women, and Tonya is giving it back. I love to see it!!
Thank you so much!
@@TonyaTko Thank you! Your content is so healing!
@@AshaGlenn hopefully she can help y'all get married more
@@TonyaTko can you please help bw get married more
@@travon354 well marriage is a horrible thing to jump into when you don't love yourself. It's a lack of self-worth that destroys and leads people into toxic relationships. So yes, I do think that a healthy love of one's self could lead to healthier marriages... Even though that's not the goal. But if it makes you feel better, my Black self has been in a wonderful, healthy marriage with my amazing Black husband for 16 years. I can say that self love is key. 😊
Ive seen gay BM treat bw just as bad as straight BM on Ch
THE SAME APPLIES TO STRAIGHT BLACKMEN,BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THEY ALL DO IT THAT IS JUST GENERALISING
I've seen BW treat BW just as bad as straight BM, now what?
@@RealBNewsfacts
It took a real man to school these dusty's he is on point !!!!!
There are many people who will never grant us the grace of recognizing our womanhood and right to rest. Their intellectual dishonesty isn't indicative of our intrinsic value as black women, and you are worthy of comfort even if you're never granted the validation that comes with societal agreement. Our woman ancestors probably died with sweat on their backs and bags under their eyes - so, are you going to listen to this fool and disgrace them by dying the same? Think about it, black women...
This ❤💯 I am an BW, formerly a pickme , formerly a Mammy. 2016/2017 was my Grand Awakening. I broke out of the Matrix chile🤣 I am not an happily unemployed married woman. My husband provides with a joyful heart and it feels sooo damn good!!!
It feels sooo good I want go out preach the good word to other brainwashed BW.
Like...my old high school friend. She a flamin Pickme with epilepsy. She 6 kids and according to her Facebook post if she don't get a job soon she's facing eviction. Nevermind she and her kids got evicted 3 yrs ago. Nevermind she married to an able-bodied husky ass BM who gave her all them kids to feed. They high school sweethearts who been struggling since they 18th birthday.🤣
She posted a few days ago about how much she love her Black "king"...a king who needs help keeping the lights on in the palace.😬
I sooo want to DM and tell her about hypergamy, the importance of BW resting in our femininity, importance of masculine men providing....but I'm afraid it will go right over her head.
@@catmouse2882 I understand the desire to persuade her; I often feel the need to do the same for the black women in my life too. Something I have learned on this journey is that some don’t want to be saved, and we (as sisters, friends, mothers, and daughters) have to find a way to cope with their decision to remain where they are.
Some women won’t outgrow this within our lifetime, we ourselves are lucky to be coachable enough to change.
Great dialogue ladies! I’m happy many of us are seeing the truth. Many won’t, oh well. Those who do, keep pushing for better!
The only thing I disagree with is the sentiment that BW are meant to go it alone/ have it tough (matriarchal society) and BM aren’t meant to be head of households. Oh they’re meant to be there. They just do a piss poor job at it and no one is going to put them in a position where they don’t qualify. They want to be the head without doing the work to deserve it!
I agree fully! That’s why they don’t do their part now. They need to be their part or be alone. Black women are tired of being the heads, it’s time to rest. So homeboy got it wrong on that part for me but I was with him for the most part.
I disagree with the matriarchal part as well. Black men are more than capable of leading, they just never had a blueprint in this generation. Post traumatic slave syndrome is real. Black men think leadership is how white men treated us during slavery and colonialism. Or how white men lead them on their 12 hours a day jobs. Real leadership is about provision and protection. Black men need to ask, what foundation have I set for my family? Do they feel safe? Even though i grew up without a father in the home i am lucky enough to have cousins that are great fathers. So I'm a witness to the capabilities of black men.
@@khloe38 my old high school friend is a BW with 6 kids and I swear you'd think she was a struggling single mother.
She got epilepsy. She constantly on Facebook telling the world she desperate for a job because she and her kids will be homeless by February. Almost 3 yrs ago they faced eviction.
Oh...and she married. She married her high school sweetheart (her "Black Kangz" as she calls him) and something tells me she been in poverty with this man since day 1.
She posted today on Facebook about how only "strong women" will help their man pay the rent.
She lost...I feel like reaching out to her but I don't want to hurt her feelings
Matriarchal does not mean there are no men. It just means that women lead the household and, therefore, society. Which is literally happening right now anyway. 70% of black mothers are unmarried
🎯
Oooowe! He put them together! 😳🥴Please have this guy on the show Tonya.
“Y’all can’t even die right”🥴🤦🏾♀️💀🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Therapy is also about the relationship you have with your therapist. Every therapist is not for everyone. You have to try different ones until you find the right fit. So just switching therapists after you’ve found a good fit might not work.
Thank you.
And different types of therapy work for different ppl. Some need CBT, others DBT other group sessions other more spiritual therapy.
You should see the reply’s in his comments!! He went harder than this video that u showed! I read some of the comments under this video. I do not think that he means black women should be doing it by themselves. in another video reply in his comments he stated black men should be protecting black women so strong that nobody should be able to attack us. He went off in the video replies to this video on TikTok
He read him for field and I was here for every minute of it! He gets MVP for the rest of eternity!!!! 🥇 🙌🏽
i hate how she was talking to JC like he was a damn fool smh.
He's speaking facts!
Tonya TKO's face at the read - hahahahahahahahahaaaaaa🤣🤣🤣🤣
"We back and we black" 😂😂😂Tonya keeps me laughing.
And he's up here talking about women are respected in the military. No we aren't sir!!! In some instances yes, but at the end of the day women are still working harder to prove they can lead. The only thing that sets military apart is the guidelines that taking us to respect rank. So it may appear women in higher ranks are being respected but they aren't. Hell lets not talk about my experience and the ladies under and over me. And sidenote...outside of military speak BW lead because we have to. We find a way and make it happen. I would love to rest in my femininity all the time but can't. That gay military man making excuses took me all the way out.😒
ALSO we were a matriarchal but without men willing to follow and respect us and allow us to also rest when needed. IT WILL NOT WORKKKK
Which tribe?
@@travon354 Nigerian Zazzau, Sudanese Kandake, Angolan Nzinga, and Ashanti of Ghana to name a few and this is precolonial times.
@@Freya1412 ok? Your point
He told no lies!! what a scolded of the truth.💯💯😂😂
That necromancy line was ether. 💪🖤💙
Tonya is so intelligent and articulate. The way she argues her stance with grace and facts is so inspiring.
I am stuck at "Necromancy".
New word for the day
Ikr…💁🏽♀️📖
I love listening to Tonya talk about evolutionary biology she gives me things to look into that I didn't know before.
He said y’all can’t even die right….😂😂😂😂
Okay and one more thing women when a man asks you what you're bringing to the table ask him what is he bringing to the table don't you dare answer him and don't you dare say that you're bringing sex to the table. That's not all you bring to the table you bring a warm sense of security and support and our roof over your head a home-cooked meal and then and only then can say and some banging ass love making. "
You don't have to impress a man from the door you don't have to let him know your life story you don't even have to let him know your salary and what you do for a living because when men get online and they ask you what you do for a living they're counting your dollars. We accept them without jobs we accept them in between not having work. We pay all the bills but do you think they do that for us if they was to do a survey and ask how many of us live with a man and they've taken care of us men would fail especially black men. I know actors who have come on to women came on to me cuz they thought oh there's an older woman I can come stay with her while I'm in town get some sex but I cut that s*** short no you will not I'm not interested. They don't care they could be making money and they still don't want to help you out and if you ask for help then they want to say you're a gold digger how am I a gold digger when you don't have a gold mine and that's physically and metaphorically.
I know what I "bring to the table" that's why I'm not afraid to eat ALONE! I have my own home, car, money, credit, degree, etc. that I worked and paid for. Whenever a dusty asks you that question, it's because he has nothing to offer you. Also if they bring up s3x, finances on a first date, RUN.
A woman brings female companionship to the table. Many men like the presence of a woman. Men pay for the presence. That is why call girls make a living. Many of these men when they travel they look for a woman.
Damnnn he lit they az up! 😆 🤣 😂 😹 He ain't lying tho!!
🧐Everything he has said was all BW content creator talking points. In general we as BW need to stop praising BM(Straight or Gay when they make a few videos. BM get online and talk either good or bad about us, but there really after Click/Views/Superchat and Cash apps from BW. We need to support BW content creators because this is our movement...not there's.
BW please do not be fooled by fake allies..🙅🏾♀️🙅🏾♀️
I love the way you dance....you go girl.
Lol. Thanks
He read them....wrote them...erase them and then dismiss them....They are about to try and go get Dusty's Kev!!
Baby, when Tonya hung up the phone on that woman, I HOLLERED. We managed to have everybody who called in stay on topic, whether they had good points or not. Here she comes, ironically ACTING LIKE A KAREN, deciding she didn’t have to listen to the show and she’s gonna choose the topics.
Tonya said, actually, that’s what you’re NOT gonna do. Have a blessed day 😘🤣
A LOT of BM wish they were WM if you took BMs skin tone away and you listen just to what they say.... Jamelle Hill was right for saying what she said ✅️
She was! I didn't realize it then but I see it now!
Tonya thank you for bringing this man forward. Mannnn we got work to do
He was tired of them for real, gathered them!!!
Table cracked up, dried standing on 2 legs. Young man speaks volumes.
He said “Yall can’t even die right”
Oh my!!! Read sir!! He came with fire facts! 👊🏽🎯
Your voice sis .....it's angelic I could hear you talk all day
Thank you 😇 ❤👼🏾
I am a 57 year old lesbian black woman I love your commentary
Not "Y'all can't even die right" 🤣
“You can’t even die right”. 😂😂
if women don't birth them ...
then women are blamed ...
for aborting them
damned if you do ...
& damned if you don't
Girl you…did this lol that 3rd caller the 🌈 guy was a hot mess. You handled that very well..when he said financially..we are employed more, entrepreneurs and seek higher education and then politically we do control the vote. He still found a way to blame us lol. I’m sorry but he represents the type of 🌈 we have a problem with whereas the man who made the video represents change. Awesome video and commentary. There is a change coming over us. I’ve been watching you all other the women plus some you mentioned for years and it changed my views. I’m 37, childfree, educated and gainfully employed and BM are so intimidated by me and us it’s sickening. I’m so happy BW and others in our community are rising up against this toxic masculinity. 💜
Lol im 37 and childfree as well and just want to continue to enjoy my peaceful stress free life.
Yes. He keeps trying to talk over her and talk as if because he has a penis he can be rude.
That gay man woke up and chose violence lol
Everyone is running to catch up to the wave created by the persistence of BW. If it’s not a BW speaking on this issue it could be a grift, no matter how passionate or genuine it may appear. After witnessing an ENTIRE grift that is the pro-wax, i.e., pro BM movement, I stay skeptical on the intentions of BM. Sorry.
We don't care. Why do you think that we care not to be rude but honestly
You're right on point sis!
OMG!! I got fuckin chills. He ain't nothin but the TRUTH!! FACTS!!
I know I’m late, but he said YALL CANT EVEN DIE RIGHT… at that moment. I knew I loved him!
GREAT VIDEO TONYA !!!!! MORE! MORE! MORE!
Thank you! I appreciate the confirmation. I enjoy this show style
Had to give a thumbs up on the intro alone. Looking good Ms. TKO ⭐
I love your brut honest unbiased commentary
Wow Tonya I love your makeup. I’ve been trying to perfect my eye shadow like yours
He is Speaking the Truth!!!
He came for hairlines....
Push em back king 🤣🤣🤣
He went in and spoke nothing but facts...thank you sir, please continue.
Black women are not more elevated in the black community. Malcolm x stated the position bw are in.
Hmmm elaborate??
@Its Mrs M that's not true lol, y'all just give the minority of black men the loudest voice
The brother said @16:34 "Y'all can't even die right" ..... my goodnes!
I completely agree with Tonya about therapy being a tool. I signed up for both Cerebral and another app to get therapy from several people. 🤣 We need to make our mental health a priority.
Satin line my casket please. I just died.
Your facial expressions have me ctfu😭😭😭