I'm a boomer grandmother. I firmly believe people should have children only if those children are truly wanted. All children deserve that. I was happy to see the childfree trend. All children should be wanted and loved, not a societal demand! I told my children to only have children if they want them, and never assumed I had the right to be a grandparent. I wanted to have children, but it is a personal choice.
Exactly. Some of these “regretful parents” should be forced to live with and help raise a child they can’t give back for a week. I think some can blame it on ignorance, but sadly I think there’s an equal amount of “dark triad” types who are using kids as ways to bolster their image in society.
No, as a woman of your age you should know better. It’s not about wanting. It’s about giving them the life that they deserve and be a parent that they deserve. Most humans find it more important to have kids than be the parent they deserve with the life that they deserve. There are many people who want kids but are broke and all they got to give is love. that’s child abuse.
Making the choice doesn't always mean we don't want them either. I'd love the health, the community, and the support needed to raise a child. If theres any risk of my child getting shot at school, then I'm not having them. It's non-negotiable imo.
@@alexisdominey6487 my dad either regretted having me or just never thought much and was absent and it hurts to this day the early childhood trauma and abandonment I went through. I’d never want a child to go through that.
I knew as a child that I didn't want children. By my late 20s, marriage became a no as well. My parents raised me and my siblings to live life based on our own personal ambitions regardless of the "herd." So, I never really bothered to address the critics. I just say, " I chose my way of life, and you chose yours." You don't need to explain or justify. It's no one's business.
I also knew I didn’t want kids when I was a kid. I have never been married and I have only lived with one parter. I am open to marriage but I’m not out there looking for it. I don’t even date. When I was young people would say I would change my mind. Good thing I didn’t because now I have had a hysterectomy. 😊
@@betsywilliamsonms It annoys me that men never adjust for you. They expect women to make all the changes. I'm an introvert. I don't require much time and attention. Most men were bothered by this. Yet, those same men complained about being smothered by their exes. 🙄
I knew I never wanted kids. I have my art and creative projects, and they are my children. I'm privileged as a man to not face any heat over that choice, but I've seen it happen to many women I know. The likes of JD Vance and his abhorrent views are normalising the persecution of our freedom to say no. I just want to make things and pet cats,
I’m 69 and happily married for 43 years, also child free. I’ve never regretted it but I have come across a lot of hostility because of our choice. One boss at work gave me a lecture in front of the whole department about how my husband and I have an obligation to have children because we are well educated. He said too many stupid people are having kids and it’s dumbing down the population. Well educated people must have lots of kids to offset this. Another expected me to work every holiday because I didn’t have a “real” Christmas since I didn’t have kids. I pointed out that I have family and a real Christmas but he wouldn’t budge. He said without kids of my own, I didn’t matter to the real families. Whole lot of crazy out there, be strong.
@@nikkil764 I had a nasty boomer making a whole scene because I find childbirth scary. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t like baby fever individuals.
For a lot of people, life is a competition. Especially those "I need to achieve xyz by xyz age" types. They think marriage and children are the ultimate goal and prize, only to wake up and see that the actual goal and prize is to have some level of contentment, peace and happiness in life. Now they see that childfree people actually have and maintain this level of peace and happiness (by staying childfree) and they feel that they have somehow "lost" this imagined competition of who has it best and who is happiest. It's usually those parents who can't bear to not have the "superior" life that hate on childfree people.
Or they take it as a direct insult that the life that they choose isn't the best and then go on some rant about how children are great and how they do feel fulfilled and that it was a great choice for them. Literally had so many people do this when I just said it wouldn't make sense for me to have kids since I don't want them and they wouldn't fit in my life. Then I have to talk them down and tell them that no one was judging them for their choices and I was only answering the question 😂😭. I wish I was kidding too.
This was such a read! My friend behaves like this all the time and you can see her seething inside when I don't break down crying because I haven't achieved her milestones. I have a great life, stress free and live on my own terms and she can't seem to accept that I don't want the same things as her.
Parents like to say stuff like “Children are a blessing and a joy. They bring so much meaning, purpose and fulfillment.” As a childfree man, I say “So is money, sleep and freedom.” Coupled people say “Being single sucks.” As a single/unmarried man, I say “It is better to be single than to be victimized by a cheater and an abuser.” Some parents are jealous of the childfree while some divorcees are jealous of the single/unmarried. I am authentically Single/Unmarried and Childfree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
marriage-free should be a thing too hehhehehe . No drama , no unnecessary relatives beatiful quitefull days. Someone who can't be peaceful by themselves can't be happy with others
Completely agree! Whenever I have to change my cat's litterbox, I think I have such a bad gag reflex when I'm around the poop from the cat litterbox. I have puked in the garbage bag quite a few times. Just from that experience, I know I would never be able to change a diaper. I'm fine living single and while I do wish to have someone in my life to share my life with, I'd rather be with someone I truly love and who loves me and not just marry a guy because I'm afraid of being alone.
@@Florida_man.2 Dating, entering a relationship and getting married is all for selfish reasons because you are insecure as a single and codependent once you have a partner.
I really never understood why some parents have a problem with childfree people everyone has the right to live there life the way we want my choice to not have kids isn't effecting other's
Exactly this! If there is no harm being done, people should simply mind their business as it doesn’t apply to or affect them. Sometimes I wonder if the internet has made people more opinionated on things they don’t need to become involved in and almost this gained sense of self importance of their stance on the topics.
I have seen that having kids ruined my brothers and some cousins relationships with their spouses. Especially my middle brother…. Who is now divorced. Everyone looks tired, miserable and BROKE!!! I LOVE all of my nieces and nephews and I see them as my own kids….. BUT MY GOD am I so incredibly happy and at peace knowing I don’t have that major responsibility! I’m selfish with my time and that’s ok!
@@AB-jl1unthose of us who are to selfish to have kids, could be seen as selfless. It can be looked as a selfless act to not bring someone into this world knowing what goes on here
You are not selfish to live your life on your terms and utilizing your resources as you prefer. To say selfish is a negative and gives power to the anti-child free folks. The word is weaponized and used to shame childfree by choice people. Please don’t adopt this insult.
You’re not selfish with your time. You made a choice that you thought would make you happy, as your siblings did. It just so happens your choice actually resulted in happiness. 🤷🏻♀️
I think a lot of women get married young and the next step is to have kids. Once you have a child you can't undo it. You are bound for life. You miss out on so many things while you are young (20's). I'm 75 and child free by choice. I've seen so many friends get married and have kids right out of high school. They will never admit they made a mistake. My opinion is to wait til 30s to marry and have kids if you must. That time after h s is a time to discover yourself. Go to college, find a job, have fun and then settle down. This rush to marry and have kids doesn't serve anyone.
Except the rich, who want an unending stream of workers competing for the same jobs, so they can keep pay and benefits low. They apparently don't see that this same low pay, lousy health coverage, and demanding work schedules makes a lot of people who actually wanted kids decide, "Nah."
I agree with you! 30 is a good enough age to understand who you are and know what you’re about, what you want and don’t want and is a good age to understand whether marriage and kids is for you or not!
I understand your opinion but praying this as the universal recipe is wrong. I got pregnant at 21 and I'm very glad. My baby took me out of a severe chronic depression. I had tried therapy begore, meds, nothing seemed to work. Then my baby came by surprise and suddenly I started improving. I know I'm the exception but exceptions also exist
@user-rc2ct7cs1g I'm glad you had that experience, but not everyone experiences that. Some people have it worse. My mom had me at 18 and 3 more kids after, her not being able to do certain stuff and look tired all the time took a mental toll on me aswell because I'm an empath. Her message was to make sure that you've really lived your life before having kids.
think most of the people are groomed by society that " doing this will make you happy, doing this is what is living the right, successful way " but in reality our true meaning in life is... just simply to exist.. everything else is propaganda by society to benefit elite and population growth but you can decide now what way to live
Some. It's hardly universal. I know many parents who love their choice and don't have any negative feelings toward me for not - I made sure to keep these people as friends
Not all parents. Mostly the ones who were socially pressured into getting married and starting a family at a young age and didn't realize they actually had a choice not to do those things so now they're jealous and resentful towards people who didn't make those mistakes. I'm certain that people who took the time to make sure they were ready to have kids regret their decisions a lot less and have no real reason to hate childfree people.
Quite a bit, just seeing how many parents would murder their kids is disheartening.. Check out law and crime, most recent case was Quinton Simon. His mother just got found guilty for dumping his body in a dumpster. It was later found at a local landfill.
I'm sorry but the fact that you think ALL parents in the world regret their kids is utterly delusional. My parents doted on me. I was exceptionally loved and now my baby will be too.❤ You being childfree doesn't mean you need to think every parent is unhappy. That's just completely insane.😂
Years ago, i was talking with my grandmother about how i didn't want kids, and she said, "What makes you so special? Why do you think you should get to get out of it?" Although she loved her kids and although she would deny it, there was some real resentment showing through there. When i did actually end up on the nest, one great thing about it in her opinion was that now i had to forget about college. She would never admit to being a bitter, jealous woman, but she definitely was, and i think that's also at the heart of these parents who give grief to the childfree.
You went ahead and had kids young, didn't go to college, but the moral of the story here is that your grandma was bitter. Okay. Critical thinking seems to lack in the family in general, not just in your grandma.
You went ahead and had kids young, didn't go to college, but the moral of the story here is that your grandma was bitter. Okay. Critical thinking seems to lack in the family in general, not just in your grandma.
@@HungerSTR1KE Thank you. There were a lot of factors that contributed to her bitterness, and she was of a generation where women didn't really have any options, so my having options was too much for her to bear. Plus, my going to college and going somewhere in life was a direct threat to her plan to have me take care of her in her later years so she didn't have to go to a nursing home. She got her way that i didn't end up in law school, which was my main goal, but i did go to college, so i won on that one. She wasn't a horrible person, just someone who didn't choose the most positive or productive ways to cope with her hurts and disappointments.
I was one and done. My husband having affairs when I was pregnent after telling me right before I got pregnant that he was sure he was happy and couldnt wait to be a dad and saying hed be there for me and the child. I didnt find out about the affairs until 2 weeks after giving birth. 15 years later and Ive raised my son without one dime in child support. Ive bad some great times with my boy and he used to seem so happy in apite of the fact that hes very noticeably autistic. Now that hes a teen hes really angry and rude to me. I think hes struggling with how his autism makes him so different. Idk if he will be able to work, ever get a date, or drive. I feel like the good times are over and there is nothing to look forward to. Its hard to think I have brought him here and he may feel life long loneliness and feel lost and I cant even die in peace because I may not ever see hes able to take care of himself. The world is cruel. I am happy for child free ladies
So sad you clearly care so much for your son but it’d be hard to see your child struggle. I had a difficult childhood with abuse/emotional neglect and I never wanted a child to suffer and struggle and felt it’s best to not have kids.
Semi-retired tech professional and young Boomer here and I chose the child-free life style after I passed the age of 40. Happily single for quite some time with absolutely no regrets. I have wonderful adult nieces and nephews who are doing well for themselves and they make me so very proud. All women have to make life choices that suit their needs. I don't normally give out unsolicited advice but the best relationship a woman can have is with herself. And when active on the dating scene, discernment is key. Stay safe and be well ladies.
A lot of people tried to fear monger my cousin for not settling down sooner. But she married the right man and had her first child at 37 and then had twins at 39. By that point her and her husband could afford the "village" so many women feel entitled to and both were firmly established in their careers so that she could ease back into work on her terms. Kids are in private school and they have a nice but simple house. And because she can afford help, these same people are now envious of the lifestyle she worked hard to build before having her children. Make it make sense.
i think for some its jealousy...they see it as as a parent they had to make A LOT of sacrifices and hard decisions because they now have kids. they have the ¨I had to work hard for my happiness and so should everyone else¨ mentality. to them childfree people represent those who try to find the short cuts in life. not understanding that life doesnt have to be a constant hardship and how the same things that make them happy are the same things that can make others miserable. they in turn feel like child free by choice people are a threat to the status quo. to them child free people prove that you can be happy without kids which questions their status as a parent and why they chose to be one in the first place.
They also fail to realize that with the current dating market some of us are single because we couldn’t find the right person to marry and settle down with - that’s my situation- i like and respect myself too much to ever compromise on a life partner- i must have a mutual attraction and an emotionally healthy person that will add to my life not destroy it
I've said it before and I'll say it again. No one was harmed by my choice not to have kids. My father was even supportive of my choice. I'm 60, and it was a great decision.
I think jealousy is big issue and have seen it with my coworkers and friends with children. It’s the comments they make to me about what I am able to do and places I visit. It’s a reminder to them of what they are missing out but they never once asked me my personal reasons to be child free. Why can’t we have an open discussion about it?? Thank you again for your channel!!
I've had the same experiences. I don't feel like I can talk about anything, good or bad, because of how they compare to their own lives. I've never been asked why I'm child free either. They've never shown any interest in trying to understand it better, but instead seem to come to their own conclusions for why I'm child free.
The reasons don't matter to them. The bottom line is that you got out of the horrors of having your entire life taken over by people that will always rely on you in some way till you die.
This is very similar to society hatred of child free single women 30 and over. I don't get it with this at all, they aren't harming anyone else, just living their lives. Also I've always said "Better to be single alone then in a Domestic Voilence 😡 relationship at all" and "Better to he childfree then a single struggling mum".
I thought the people in my life were accepting of it being a choice, until they had children. Now they don't seem to have any empathy for others. When you're unwell they don't show much concern, instead it's seen as an inconvenience and you're treated with distrust. I can't have bad days because they have it worse. I can't have good days either because they don't get that anymore. Days that are special to me are made to be all about them (including my wedding day 😞.) I also suspect the kids are being used to control others, through guilt and withdrawing them when you disagree on things. The way I've been treated has made me feel isolated and self conscious for having a life that looks different. I'm not sure if they had kids for the wrong reasons or if they're unhappy with their choice. Before having kids they use to tell me that they didn't understand parents that complained about it, but it wasn't long until they started doing the same. In a way I think I had a better understanding as I don't think parents should have to pretend to love every moment of it. It's ok for them to have an outlet so long as it doesn't affect their children or get taken out on people that don't have them.
People who pull the "I have it worse than you so you can't complain" card are just so obnoxious. I'm allowed to have shitty days even if you perceive your days to be worse.
@@Mir_Teiwaz It's really lacking in empathy. We're all human and have a need to express ourselves sometimes, to feel a little compassion. It doesn't matter what our situation is.
I am a mom and the people closest to me chose to be childfree. We all respect and understand that we have different reasons for our choices and know anlot of thought goes into those choices. I don't actually see why it is anyone's business if you are having babies or not.
Right it is not anyone's business what choices an adult makes regarding marriage or having children. Marriage and parenthood ARE NOT for everyone. I have heard about and seen the stories about horrible things happening to children as in neglect and abuse. Just because you can create a human being doesn't mean that you should.
Same. The only "childfree" people i have a problem with are the ones who try to convince me I ruined my life by having my kids or talk shit about my literal 2 year old.
Let's all remember that people are responsible for picking their own partners and the high divorce rates indicates many of us do a piss poor job of that. Then add kids to that situation. Many people get divorced after having kids.
Actually the biggest life choice that others are jealous of and, thus, condemn is marriage. I realize statistically childfree people are happier, but statistically the happiest women are those who don't get married.
We also look younger than our married counterparts because we haven’t allowed some man child to stress us out- lack of companionship sucks at times but not as much as drama and stress from being with someone emotionally immature or even abusive- the sex usually dries up in a bad marriage so you’re not even getting that anymore- i’m 51 but look younger than my age and get compliments all the time on my youthfulness
Children deserve to be brought into the world because they’re truly wanted. When you’re having children because you have to then it’s admitting that you don’t love your children. “I had you simply because I had to as a woman “ vs “I had you because I loved you and I wanted to experience the joy you bring into the world” Which phrase do you think is abhorrent and damaging? I don’t have the capacity to love a child right now as my own much like I’m allowed to be single because I don’t have the mental space to love another adult human. Children and all humans deserve to be in relationships where the reason they’re there is because the person that wanted them simply wanted to love and not “fill some duty/ have a purpose/ take care of me when I’m in the nursing home” Children and all humans are not things to be used ! They are beings worthy of love and they don’t deserve to be forced into relationships with a person that’s not ready to love them.
To be fair, even having children out of love can be complicated. My mom really wanted me, she really wanted another soul that she could love and that would love her. Maybe that's because she hadn't experienced true love from anyone, not her own mother, nor her husband. Basically her whole life revolved around me, raising me, loving me etc. I love her, but it's kind of a lot of pressure to be someone's whole life meaning. When I grew up I was scared to leave her and start my own life, it took me a long time to do that. I still feel guilty, because I live really far now, unfortunately.
When I was younger, I really wanted kids. As I’ve gotten older, that desire lessened and now at 37, I just got my tubes removed. I thought I might have 2nd thoughts about that decision, but I feel like a brand new woman. I’m the only woman in my circle, other than my sister, who doesn’t have kids and single, but there has been so much drama with divorce, child support hearings and overall hateful and abusive arguments over the children by the fathers who make it evident to me that’s it’s more about power & hurting the mom than it is about their child’s wellbeing. I couldn’t fathom having to deal with that level of drama, I’m very used to being able to cut ties whenever I want, I’d be so depressed if I had to deal with that. Having to witness this drama makes me so happy I’ve gotten my tubes removed.
I know too many people right now in my life breathing a sigh of relief when their parents pass away. The violence, hatred, addiction, and instability they lived in was too much. They do their damnedest NOT to raise their kids like they were, or are opting out completely. Don't have more than one child if you cannot provide a good life for them, emotionally and financially.
I think there's something to the fact that the childfree have the option to change that reality at any point in time and become a parent. But, those with children do not really have the option to change that reality and become childfree at any point in time. It's a kind of freedom that is irreparably lost once you make that choice to have children, and then you can never go back. And I think those with children absolutely resent that freedom that the childfree have.
I plan on being one and done 10 years from now but I'm already expecting the influx of "oh your kid might be lonely" when they have no idea how traumatic pregnancy can be. If I feel inclined there's always adoption or fostering. I think these pro natal people are weirdos and misery loves company that's why they're so pressed.
It really shows how people are never satisfied regardless of what people choose to do and frankly it should be none of their business. I’ve met a few only children from my job and 9/10 times they are more knowledgeable and mature for their age. I think people forget there is a unique benefit and special bond that parents have with only one child. I’ve always felt second hand annoyed for my family who literally just had a child and others are already asking about another…let them breathe.
Sour grapes- they wish they had made the choice to be childfree (both men and women). But for a multitude of reasons, they had children and deeply regret it... so many people I've met would not have had children if they could do it all over....
I wanted children but I couldn't have them. The child-free by choice community is important for people who want to but can't. It gives us peace as you say. It makes us feel better knowing that there's nothing wrong with us just because biology has failed us.
I went from one job to the next in the corporate world and outside the corporate world. At each job I saw that I wasn't going to get ahead unless I cut someone else off at the knees. I was up against a triple-bind of how am I going to work for people who want me to be bad, how am I going to support a family without meeting unethical standards at work, and how am I going to be a reliable moral compass to my kids if I consent to cut other people off at the knees. Now I'm middle aged and child free and anti-materialistic and I'm vindicated to observe that my former employers are panicking about the flattening birthrate of their future workforce. I'm pleased with the decision that I made. I hope that other people's kids will benefit from the future increased demand for their labor.
Agreed. I’m a breeder and I admit that I am extremely jealous of those people who figured out their own way of happiness by remaining CF. However, I’m also extremely admiring of them and proud of the younger generations who are much more self aware and therefore smarter.
I don't have a problem with people who want to remain childfree. I have a problem with people criticizing others who want to have children and determine for them when and how many children they should have. My boss tried indirectly to hint at me to not have any more children because it will affect my career. Or if I really want to give my daughter siblings, it should not be more than X. This triggered me so much because my family goals are different than hers. Yet she's using her choices as the standard for everyone else.
I was child free for 10 years and now I'm a new mom in my 30s , I feel incredibly lied to and have deep seated resentment and anger but love my son .. not only child free people tell me I chose this but other parents ( mostly fathers and older gen mothers ) , however childfree people give me the most grief . Despite I didn't choose the miserable pregnancy' and postpartum depression, I didn't choose my family gaslighting and abusing me , I didn't choose to be jobless or homeless, I didn't choose fighting my own trauma and reparenting myself so I won't pass generational abuse, i didnt choose to have my body completely destroyed - i have to have surgery to get rid of it , that doesn't include the lifelong surgery and injuries that saved my life and my childs .. I chose to be a mom and it's difficult and a major change - I don't want my child to ever feel he is unwanted despite him being a little twit at times . I support child free woman
Thank you for your honesty and support. I can’t imagine how difficult that’d all be what you’re going through. I sometimes wonder if I’ll regret not having kids, it’s my last chance to try as I’m in my late 30s but I think for me the safest option is to stay childfree. There’s so many risks with pregnancy and childbirth etc. I really hope things improve for you and you can get the support you need. I know I wouldn’t have a village and would be mostly on my own if I had a child.
@@milliem8051 if you don't have a village , then I'd say don't, the brief village I had have weaponised finances and my husband's family were extremely helpful but have limited resources . You are extremely in a vulnerable place with young baby's especially , woman were not made to take on all the responsibilities on themselves .
@@milliem8051 thats me with a village and a supportive husband, I love my family but sometimes I imagine not having them.. greener pastures as they say
they're just envious! they hate that we have enough intelligence to think outside the herd, that we are authentic, that we have free time and disposable income (maybe) and they don't! having and raising a human being is incredibly difficult and expensive! not everybody should have that privilege to begin with. look at all these monsters who hurt their own children!!!
I’m glad that people can choose what they want for their lives. I’m a mother and a wife and despite anything else that I do, I still believe that it is my greatest privilege. Because if my my mother chose to be child free I would not exist. Everyone has their own choices to make to continue their own family lines or end them. I just hope that people are happy no matter what they choose.
I am a parent who wholeheartedly supports the childfree movement, as it gets the word out about the validity of ALL choices and points out the problematic elements of idealizing and worshipping parenthood. I do, however, object to the pejorative labeling of parents as “breeders” (see some of the comments here), as it is purposefully dismissive, hurtful and sows division. Please think: would childfree people appreciate being called “the desiccated?” It’s this kind of language and attitude (and similarly, the cattier videos throwing money and vacations and other things that parents miss out on, in their faces) that does the movement no favors and makes some childfree folks come off as mean and hateful. It would be better if we could all respect each other and our individual choices, and be mindful of how we treat each other while increasing awareneas.
Yea I don’t think someone is a “breeder” unless they’re purposefully filling their house with chicken (think: motivated by narcissism, religion, another ideology which requires their choice to be automatic and uncritical). Having bred a child, esp through a conscious decision, doesn’t make you a “breeder” lol it also discounts situations in the past where women did not have access to birth control and couldn’t socially complain about their husbands impregnating them all the time. I think it depends on what you’re speaking of. Throwing it at just anyone seems excessive and irresponsible.
Believe that it is a woman's choice if she wants to be a parent. I'm a single parent, which wasn't the plan, and my child is profoundly disabled to an extreme level. If I had known the outcome, I never would have become a parent. I would never intentionally do this to another person, let alone the precious child that I brought into this world.
Whats going on is a transparency! Parents are being honest now about how hard having children are. It doesnt matter if ur young, old, married, divorced, single parent, village help, no village, working, stay at home... its very difficult! Its also very expensive and time consuming. U are raising an adult who will go into the world. For me personally i chose to have children and planned it but did not know all that came with it. I am still learning a lot even after 12yrs of being a parent. It's important to tell ppl the complexities of being a parent cuz the good parts of parenting are always shown and loving and having fun w ur child is the easy part
I get enough of children just being around my niece occasionally. The thought of attempting to raise a child who acts like she does at times is part of the reason that "wanting a child" is an absolute deal breaker for me in a partner no matter where we are in a relationship.
I love your videos. You’re honestly so inspirational. Parents realize too late that there are other happy paths in life. The one good thing to come from the internet is that young people can share new ideas and challenge the current status quo!
I'm a Gen X lady that loves kids and had two. But I've always known parenting isn't for everyone and I've always been against ppl having kids without putting in any real thought. I very much back up child free ppl, including my own kids.
I'm in my 40s with one almost adult child. I wanted more kids or atleast one more but financially I couldn't. I still dream though. I also hope to have grandkids and a daughter in law. That will be my son's decision if he chooses. Having kids and a husband is a personal choice. Everyone is entitled to live as they see fit.
It’s because people take ideas, morphe into their personality. When this happens and you tell them they are wrong about their ideas, they take it as a personal attack against them instead of detaching from the idea & having an open discussion on the topic to not get offended over. Hence why it’s rather difficult in modern times to talk calmly about politics, money, religion, and sexuality.
I see unhappy people all around. It does not matter if you have children or don't have children for fulfillment. You have to find fulfillment in what ever you chose to in life. There are many people that believe that there is a "magic bullet" out there to find happiness; children are victims of being "magic bullet" and that is sad when the child turns out to be a lot of work and sacrifice to some of these parents. I am truly happy for parents that are happy with their choice. I don't wish them bad at all, but they should be happy for my choice to remain childfree.
republicans get triggered when people chose not to have kids. because it leads them to a life with less stress. they want you to suffer with high stress so they want to mandate people to have kids.
I grew up surrounded by fathers who HATE their children and wives, let their wives carry ALL the burden of caring for the family, and in turn the mothers hold deep resentment towards their children and husband. I don't want that to be MY life, and people go batshit crazy when you simply say no to being abused.
I'm mom, but I completely understad that someone can chose life without having child. Life is a chain of choices. Live without child isn't worse that choice of having child. Btw I love my son and can't imagive life without him but... In my case antyconception doesn't worked. I was one of those who wanted to be childless maybe that is why I have such a pov of this matter.
People forget that not everyone finds a man to have children with. Not every woman is able to get pregnant. Choice or not, people need to stop judging and just do their own life!!! Me not having kids shouldn’t have any impact on them. I am able to be an amazing aunt because I don’t have kids to take my time and money.
I knew from the time I was 16 I wouldn’t have kids. I knew it was choice not an obligation. I knew I would not have made a good father even though I had good parents. I knew I had no emotional of financial resources to care for a child. I knew kids, through no fault of theirs, cost time, money and a roller coaster of emotions. I never knew a parent that was 100 % happy with their decision. People I knew 20 years ago who shamed me for not having kids now tell me how “Lucky “ I am. The world has changed and not for the better and I consider myself part of the solution.
I’ll never understand the h8te for our personal choices. I’m 32 and grew up in a VERY ADVERSE environment that I’ve worked hard to get away from. I saw nothing but single mothers begging , pleading, and crying for help from the fathers who abandoned them sometimes a few days after conception and social services agencies . I never understood how or why women from my area chose to struggle when clinics were giving away both condoms and 13 forms of birth control for FREE. It wasn’t about the “ lack of education “ or none of the other excuses… it was poor decision making and looking for love. Once I changed my social class and environment, the ONLY difference that I noticed was more resources were available and the fathers weren’t (even if he was in the home ). They cried , pleaded , and begged for the right to use the restroom in peace or to have the luxury to sleep in. Both groups of women would SERIOUSLY ask me … “ When are you gonna have one ?! “ or “ My children are my everything, I couldn’t imagine life without them”… it takes everything in me to be polite and not say , “You are the examples of why I don’t “.
Oh my God, I'm child free by choice and I don't like kids generally, but calling parents "breeders" is gross, mean spirited, bully behavior, and also marks us as a stereotype as anti natalists. Just ew.... The owner of this channel @Diaryofthechildfree should delete these abhorant comments. We can talk about this stuff, and make our own choices, without being total A-holes
I’m probably the only married person with kids who thinks you honestly don’t need them 😂. I love mine because I wanted them and I’m grateful for that. But people can and fully be happy with themselves without children they’re not a need.
I have a child and support the child free. Having a kid is no joke! Heck half of parents are pretty awful 😞. Nobody else gets a vote! Even us one and done sometimes hear it but I tell people some equivalent of GFY 😂
I’m a 36 now and had my first child at 17. Although it was tough at first it drove me to be a better man. I’ve accomplished a lot since then and even tho there are some things I wish I could do ,I have no regrets. I understand not everyone wants to have children and that’s ok.
It boils down to ferocious insecurity brought on by lack of choice. If your choice wasn't made freely, you will always have regrets and seek to justify your current state. If parenthood wasn't your choice, or if being child free wasn't your choice, then you'll always wonder what your life might've been like. Like a bunch of new car buyers we're out there looking for people who bought the same model as us as proof our choice was a good one. But if you really made a free choice having all options equally available, then you don't give a sh*t what anybody else drives. Stop looking at other people as proof your lifestyle is worthy--whatever it is.
Having been parentified as a kid, I was never really ready to have kids when I was in my 20s and early 30s. I experienced some of it, but due to having to co-parent with a toxic baby mama (my husband's ex), so it was tainted by baby mama drama. She got custody back, so now I'm not a parent anymore. So, I've been enjoying the childreee life, instead. May as well continue where I left off with that. 🤷🏻♀️
I love children. I work with children for a living. I love my niece and nephews and all of the children in my family. But for many reasons, not the least of which is an inability to conceive, my wife and I decided not to have children. It is not out of disdain for people who have kids or for kids in general. It is simply a choice that makes the most sense regarding our personal life circumstances. For this reason, I’m not going to spend my whole life pining for what could have been or feeling less than for failing to reproduce. I’m going to strive to live a life as rich and full as possible as a childless person, while also respecting the life and choices of those with children. This shouldn’t be such a radical idea.
Child free by choice, super happy with my career and my life! I honestly never felt any pressure to have kids, especially from my family, nor have I ever received any criticism or bad feelings from my friends who are parents. I love kids and have 20+ nieces & nephews ( including grands ) 🥰 Sorry to hear that child-free folks get criticism/unsolicited “advice” from others who made a different choice and had kids. 😢
I think a big part of it isn’t even about the presence of actual kids. “Child-free” is in many ways code for “free of many responsibilities, life changes, and health side effects of having children.” I know I don’t want kids, and it has nothing to do with kids. Kids are cool. But I don’t want the financial strain, the dictated schedule, the postpartum depression, the potential for an adult dependent in 30 years, the possible custody challenges, the sticky doorknobs… any of it. And all of that went into my decision not to have kids. Where I receive the most ire is from parents who, for whatever reason, didn’t anticipate some of those outcomes. I don’t fully blame them for not predicting them… wanting children seems to be all about natural hope and optimism. I’m more curious why we differed on factors considered than judgmental. Why did their lives lead to different assumptions about parenthood than mine?
I am a divorced mom of a single daughter. I LOVE my adult daughter and I am SO proud of her. But no lie, I was very overwhelmed, stressed and wished I had not had kids for the first entire 10 years. Having a teen was a BREEZE for me, but those first ten years were hell. My ex husband just disconnected and abandoned all responsibilities. NO ONE should have kids if they have any increased needs, or if self sacrifice is the least difficult. Don't have kids if being broke sucks for them either. I am all for people being child free. I have never seen people choose to be child free and regret it.
I'm 35. I've always known I didn't want children. Literally since I was a kid. I've moved 24 times . I've thrived in my own instability and somewhat nomadic . I love not having kids. I will continue travelling the country and working at resorts . Who knows ? The world is not the same place as when I grew up - as a parent , I would be living in FEAR. That's no way to live . I also foster animals and I'd be open to fostering a kid or two when I'm settled and own a house . Otherwise , I'm very content being childfree .😅
I have children and I never would to judge or shame anyone for not having children. It is a lot of work and if someone does not want to do that more power to them, it is a lifetime commitment. I think that as with everything else, the only one that has time to shame and pick on other people or the ones that are unhappy themselves. Therefore these who are unhappy parents and her jealous of the people who chose to not have children.
I like children but I never wanted any of my own. I have respect for parents and wish them all the happiness in the world. At my age I am now seeing my friends who are grandparents having to step in and become the custodial parents of small children in later life. All the best to them and I wish them well
I never cared about children. In my country, everyone around is pressured to have kids. Now that I am entering 40, I will have no worries about passing on my wealth to children. My intentions are to enjoy as much as I can. Oh btw. I'm from India, the most populated country in the world. 😂😂😂
In the US, I find that having kids is expected but our society is shit to actually raise kids in. The cost of daycare alone was enough to convince multiple couples that I know to wait for financial stability that never came. Eventually they changed their plans.
Parents have a superiority complex and believe their relationships with their kids are more special than anyone else’s relationships. I’m saying this as someone who wants kids one day but never wants to be like *those* parents
For some parents, there is a sense of bitterness and need to see others be "hazed" via struggling to raise children. A kind of... I went through it... What makes you better than I am? Also some want grandchildren so badly they think they can shame it out of their children. It's a weird cycle.
As a parent I tell people two things either you haven’t left the right one yet for those that basic off of a bad relationship or that good for them to know what they want in life. We are all trying to figure it out.
One thing that grinds my gears is the assumption that child-free people are not allowed to complain about being exhausted. The typical "Tired? Try that with three kids" line is now just crude double speak for "I resent my choice, but I have to undermine yours so I don't feel like I've made a mistake". Lots of older folk who felt obligated to waste their youth on exploitative jobs, get married to people who they settled for, and had kids that they didn't really want are now looking at current gens and feeling resentful that they never complained or made that choice. It's now gotten to the point of sabotaging progress out of sheer spite. I'm Gen X, and I do love kids, but I never wanted any. My creative projects are my children, and I'm happy with that life as it's so satisfying. However, I'm supposedly not allowed to be burned out on a project as "No one forced you to do it" or "It's not real work". I'm 100% certain it fuels the "way back when" nostalgia crap we see about returning to a glorious past, becasue it's a garish attempt at "I suffered, so you must suffer".
I am 100% sure my mom wanted a kid (me). And also 100% sure my dad didn't. He (my father) _tagged along_ ... ... he's nice and he was (and still is) a good father *because he's a good person* , NOT because he wanted children. Every gesture, every word he utters........I can't describe it, but one can see from a mile away he definitely regreted being married and having me.
One issue that is not discussed is we do not have the replacement population to support our systems. Japan is a great example. AI and robotics may address that one day.. But our Social Security and other programs (in the US and EU) were designed for a certain number of child to parent ratios.. We are lower, so when a lot of people get older, without other advancement, we do not have enough young to replace aging workers..
@@Turai12 not, its not.. But it's a reality. The same people who are not having children are going to rely on the young to support them in many cases..
I'm a boomer grandmother. I firmly believe people should have children only if those children are truly wanted. All children deserve that. I was happy to see the childfree trend. All children should be wanted and loved, not a societal demand! I told my children to only have children if they want them, and never assumed I had the right to be a grandparent. I wanted to have children, but it is a personal choice.
Exactly. Some of these “regretful parents” should be forced to live with and help raise a child they can’t give back for a week. I think some can blame it on ignorance, but sadly I think there’s an equal amount of “dark triad” types who are using kids as ways to bolster their image in society.
Right On grandma!
Exactly. I do want children personally but I won’t shame others if they don’t want kids
No, as a woman of your age you should know better. It’s not about wanting. It’s about giving them the life that they deserve and be a parent that they deserve.
Most humans find it more important to have kids than be the parent they deserve with the life that they deserve.
There are many people who want kids but are broke and all they got to give is love.
that’s child abuse.
Making the choice doesn't always mean we don't want them either. I'd love the health, the community, and the support needed to raise a child.
If theres any risk of my child getting shot at school, then I'm not having them. It's non-negotiable imo.
Id rather regret not having children than regret having them.
Only one can be fixed without hurting someone.
@@alexisdominey6487 my dad either regretted having me or just never thought much and was absent and it hurts to this day the early childhood trauma and abandonment I went through. I’d never want a child to go through that.
59, never married, child free high school teacher. Still no regrets.
🙌🙌🙌
50, married and childfree and not an iota of regret. My job is birth control times 1000000000000
I'm 63, never married, and child-free, with no regrets!
@@janmillerstopmotion Never married, no kids and no regrets.
honestly working with kids is a big factor in making people childfree. i’ve seen what caretaking has to offer and i’d never want to do that 24/7
I knew as a child that I didn't want children. By my late 20s, marriage became a no as well. My parents raised me and my siblings to live life based on our own personal ambitions regardless of the "herd." So, I never really bothered to address the critics. I just say, " I chose my way of life, and you chose yours." You don't need to explain or justify. It's no one's business.
I also knew I didn’t want kids when I was a kid. I have never been married and I have only lived with one parter. I am open to marriage but I’m not out there looking for it. I don’t even date.
When I was young people would say I would change my mind. Good thing I didn’t because now I have had a hysterectomy. 😊
@@betsywilliamsonms
It annoys me that men never adjust for you. They expect women to make all the changes. I'm an introvert. I don't require much time and attention. Most men were bothered by this. Yet, those same men complained about being smothered by their exes. 🙄
I knew I never wanted kids. I have my art and creative projects, and they are my children. I'm privileged as a man to not face any heat over that choice, but I've seen it happen to many women I know.
The likes of JD Vance and his abhorrent views are normalising the persecution of our freedom to say no.
I just want to make things and pet cats,
If I had children not realizing it was a choice I would be maddddd
I’m 69 and happily married for 43 years, also child free. I’ve never regretted it but I have come across a lot of hostility because of our choice. One boss at work gave me a lecture in front of the whole department about how my husband and I have an obligation to have children because we are well educated. He said too many stupid people are having kids and it’s dumbing down the population. Well educated people must have lots of kids to offset this. Another expected me to work every holiday because I didn’t have a “real” Christmas since I didn’t have kids. I pointed out that I have family and a real Christmas but he wouldn’t budge. He said without kids of my own, I didn’t matter to the real families. Whole lot of crazy out there, be strong.
@@nikkil764 I had a nasty boomer making a whole scene because I find childbirth scary. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t like baby fever individuals.
can't do that discrimination anymore - this is a trip to the labor board to draw up a lawsuit for both the lecture and denying PTO.
I hope you reported them to HR and if that did not help I hope you left and got better jobs 😊
@@SherioCheersFacts
Was your first boss a hundred percent upstairs? He sounds like an educated idiot!
For a lot of people, life is a competition. Especially those "I need to achieve xyz by xyz age" types. They think marriage and children are the ultimate goal and prize, only to wake up and see that the actual goal and prize is to have some level of contentment, peace and happiness in life. Now they see that childfree people actually have and maintain this level of peace and happiness (by staying childfree) and they feel that they have somehow "lost" this imagined competition of who has it best and who is happiest. It's usually those parents who can't bear to not have the "superior" life that hate on childfree people.
Facts 💯
Agreed.💯
Or they take it as a direct insult that the life that they choose isn't the best and then go on some rant about how children are great and how they do feel fulfilled and that it was a great choice for them. Literally had so many people do this when I just said it wouldn't make sense for me to have kids since I don't want them and they wouldn't fit in my life. Then I have to talk them down and tell them that no one was judging them for their choices and I was only answering the question 😂😭. I wish I was kidding too.
This was such a read! My friend behaves like this all the time and you can see her seething inside when I don't break down crying because I haven't achieved her milestones. I have a great life, stress free and live on my own terms and she can't seem to accept that I don't want the same things as her.
Parents like to say stuff like “Children are a blessing and a joy. They bring so much meaning, purpose and fulfillment.” As a childfree man, I say “So is money, sleep and freedom.” Coupled people say “Being single sucks.” As a single/unmarried man, I say “It is better to be single than to be victimized by a cheater and an abuser.” Some parents are jealous of the childfree while some divorcees are jealous of the single/unmarried. I am authentically Single/Unmarried and Childfree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Completely agree 👍💯 and your story reflects my life and thoughts 🤔 to.
marriage-free should be a thing too hehhehehe . No drama , no unnecessary relatives beatiful quitefull days.
Someone who can't be peaceful by themselves can't be happy with others
Completely agree! Whenever I have to change my cat's litterbox, I think I have such a bad gag reflex when I'm around the poop from the cat litterbox. I have puked in the garbage bag quite a few times. Just from that experience, I know I would never be able to change a diaper. I'm fine living single and while I do wish to have someone in my life to share my life with, I'd rather be with someone I truly love and who loves me and not just marry a guy because I'm afraid of being alone.
My thoughts exactly! Having kids you can’t afford is worse than not having any at all!
@@Florida_man.2 Dating, entering a relationship and getting married is all for selfish reasons because you are insecure as a single and codependent once you have a partner.
I really never understood why some parents have a problem with childfree people everyone has the right to live there life the way we want my choice to not have kids isn't effecting other's
I don't know other than envy, such individuals have unresolved issues from within themselves.
Read the subreddit, “regretful parents.” It’s mind blowing. A lot of them deeply depressed to the point of wanting to self eliminate.
Honestly I've never understood it either
@@redemptionhappens7725 It is pretty depressing to read.
Exactly this! If there is no harm being done, people should simply mind their business as it doesn’t apply to or affect them. Sometimes I wonder if the internet has made people more opinionated on things they don’t need to become involved in and almost this gained sense of self importance of their stance on the topics.
I have seen that having kids ruined my brothers and some cousins relationships with their spouses. Especially my middle brother…. Who is now divorced. Everyone looks tired, miserable and BROKE!!! I LOVE all of my nieces and nephews and I see them as my own kids….. BUT MY GOD am I so incredibly happy and at peace knowing I don’t have that major responsibility! I’m selfish with my time and that’s ok!
People who spend their time raising kids are really missing out, they're wasting their time
You are not being selfish.
@@AB-jl1unthose of us who are to selfish to have kids, could be seen as selfless. It can be looked as a selfless act to not bring someone into this world knowing what goes on here
You are not selfish to live your life on your terms and utilizing your resources as you prefer. To say selfish is a negative and gives power to the anti-child free folks. The word is weaponized and used to shame childfree by choice people. Please don’t adopt this insult.
You’re not selfish with your time. You made a choice that you thought would make you happy, as your siblings did. It just so happens your choice actually resulted in happiness. 🤷🏻♀️
I think a lot of women get married young and the next step is to have kids. Once you have a child you can't undo it. You are bound for life. You miss out on so many things while you are young (20's). I'm 75 and child free by choice. I've seen so many friends get married and have kids right out of high school. They will never admit they made a mistake. My opinion is to wait til 30s to marry and have kids if you must. That time after h s is a time to discover yourself. Go to college, find a job, have fun and then settle down. This rush to marry and have kids doesn't serve anyone.
Except the rich, who want an unending stream of workers competing for the same jobs, so they can keep pay and benefits low. They apparently don't see that this same low pay, lousy health coverage, and demanding work schedules makes a lot of people who actually wanted kids decide, "Nah."
I agree with you! 30 is a good enough age to understand who you are and know what you’re about, what you want and don’t want and is a good age to understand whether marriage and kids is for you or not!
I understand your opinion but praying this as the universal recipe is wrong. I got pregnant at 21 and I'm very glad. My baby took me out of a severe chronic depression. I had tried therapy begore, meds, nothing seemed to work. Then my baby came by surprise and suddenly I started improving. I know I'm the exception but exceptions also exist
Bravo! Well said!
@user-rc2ct7cs1g I'm glad you had that experience, but not everyone experiences that. Some people have it worse. My mom had me at 18 and 3 more kids after, her not being able to do certain stuff and look tired all the time took a mental toll on me aswell because I'm an empath. Her message was to make sure that you've really lived your life before having kids.
All my life I’ve wondered why so many people want things like marriage and children, but often times end up feeling unhappy once they have them.
think most of the people are groomed by society that " doing this will make you happy, doing this is what is living the right, successful way "
but in reality our true meaning in life is... just simply to exist.. everything else is propaganda by society to benefit elite and population growth
but you can decide now what way to live
boom
Lets face it parents are full of regret and they hold resentment
Some. It's hardly universal. I know many parents who love their choice and don't have any negative feelings toward me for not - I made sure to keep these people as friends
Not all parents. Mostly the ones who were socially pressured into getting married and starting a family at a young age and didn't realize they actually had a choice not to do those things so now they're jealous and resentful towards people who didn't make those mistakes. I'm certain that people who took the time to make sure they were ready to have kids regret their decisions a lot less and have no real reason to hate childfree people.
Quite a bit, just seeing how many parents would murder their kids is disheartening.. Check out law and crime, most recent case was Quinton Simon. His mother just got found guilty for dumping his body in a dumpster. It was later found at a local landfill.
I'm sorry but the fact that you think ALL parents in the world regret their kids is utterly delusional. My parents doted on me. I was exceptionally loved and now my baby will be too.❤ You being childfree doesn't mean you need to think every parent is unhappy. That's just completely insane.😂
Years ago, i was talking with my grandmother about how i didn't want kids, and she said, "What makes you so special? Why do you think you should get to get out of it?" Although she loved her kids and although she would deny it, there was some real resentment showing through there. When i did actually end up on the nest, one great thing about it in her opinion was that now i had to forget about college. She would never admit to being a bitter, jealous woman, but she definitely was, and i think that's also at the heart of these parents who give grief to the childfree.
You went ahead and had kids young, didn't go to college, but the moral of the story here is that your grandma was bitter. Okay. Critical thinking seems to lack in the family in general, not just in your grandma.
You went ahead and had kids young, didn't go to college, but the moral of the story here is that your grandma was bitter. Okay. Critical thinking seems to lack in the family in general, not just in your grandma.
@@tinachristine4573 i sure hope you're not as intentionally hurtful to people in your real life as you are to a stranger on the internet.
Yikes. Wow. That was really bitter and mean for a grandma to say to you.
@@HungerSTR1KE Thank you. There were a lot of factors that contributed to her bitterness, and she was of a generation where women didn't really have any options, so my having options was too much for her to bear. Plus, my going to college and going somewhere in life was a direct threat to her plan to have me take care of her in her later years so she didn't have to go to a nursing home. She got her way that i didn't end up in law school, which was my main goal, but i did go to college, so i won on that one. She wasn't a horrible person, just someone who didn't choose the most positive or productive ways to cope with her hurts and disappointments.
I was one and done. My husband having affairs when I was pregnent after telling me right before I got pregnant that he was sure he was happy and couldnt wait to be a dad and saying hed be there for me and the child. I didnt find out about the affairs until 2 weeks after giving birth. 15 years later and Ive raised my son without one dime in child support. Ive bad some great times with my boy and he used to seem so happy in apite of the fact that hes very noticeably autistic. Now that hes a teen hes really angry and rude to me. I think hes struggling with how his autism makes him so different. Idk if he will be able to work, ever get a date, or drive. I feel like the good times are over and there is nothing to look forward to. Its hard to think I have brought him here and he may feel life long loneliness and feel lost and I cant even die in peace because I may not ever see hes able to take care of himself. The world is cruel. I am happy for child free ladies
I'm so sorry❤ Thank you for sharing your first hand experience
So sad you clearly care so much for your son but it’d be hard to see your child struggle. I had a difficult childhood with abuse/emotional neglect and I never wanted a child to suffer and struggle and felt it’s best to not have kids.
Bless you sister, I hope you at least have some good friends around you to help you. Xx
Semi-retired tech professional and young Boomer here and I chose the child-free life style after I passed the age of 40. Happily single for quite some time with absolutely no regrets. I have wonderful adult nieces and nephews who are doing well for themselves and they make me so very proud. All women have to make life choices that suit their needs.
I don't normally give out unsolicited advice but the best relationship a woman can have is with herself. And when active on the dating scene, discernment is key.
Stay safe and be well ladies.
A lot of people tried to fear monger my cousin for not settling down sooner. But she married the right man and had her first child at 37 and then had twins at 39. By that point her and her husband could afford the "village" so many women feel entitled to and both were firmly established in their careers so that she could ease back into work on her terms. Kids are in private school and they have a nice but simple house. And because she can afford help, these same people are now envious of the lifestyle she worked hard to build before having her children. Make it make sense.
i think for some its jealousy...they see it as as a parent they had to make A LOT of sacrifices and hard decisions because they now have kids. they have the ¨I had to work hard for my happiness and so should everyone else¨ mentality. to them childfree people represent those who try to find the short cuts in life. not understanding that life doesnt have to be a constant hardship and how the same things that make them happy are the same things that can make others miserable. they in turn feel like child free by choice people are a threat to the status quo. to them child free people prove that you can be happy without kids which questions their status as a parent and why they chose to be one in the first place.
Wonderfully articulated
Bingo!!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 yes, bravo! Thank you 😊
Yup. Misery needs company. Thats what all of this boils down to
They also fail to realize that with the current dating market some of us are single because we couldn’t find the right person to marry and settle down with - that’s my situation- i like and respect myself too much to ever compromise on a life partner- i must have a mutual attraction and an emotionally healthy person that will add to my life not destroy it
I've said it before and I'll say it again. No one was harmed by my choice not to have kids. My father was even supportive of my choice. I'm 60, and it was a great decision.
This video described my experience pretty well. Nothing against having a family, I just have different goals in life.
I am perfectly content with being the best auntie ever.
I’m a parent and fully support you all!! I loved not having kids, it was so fun and free
I’m a parent too but now I am a empty nester, thank god
Except you don't. You don't have childfree friends and you don't give them the help that you mommies often DEMAND for existing. Ugh.
I think jealousy is big issue and have seen it with my coworkers and friends with children. It’s the comments they make to me about what I am able to do and places I visit. It’s a reminder to them of what they are missing out but they never once asked me my personal reasons to be child free. Why can’t we have an open discussion about it?? Thank you again for your channel!!
I've had the same experiences. I don't feel like I can talk about anything, good or bad, because of how they compare to their own lives. I've never been asked why I'm child free either. They've never shown any interest in trying to understand it better, but instead seem to come to their own conclusions for why I'm child free.
The reasons don't matter to them. The bottom line is that you got out of the horrors of having your entire life taken over by people that will always rely on you in some way till you die.
Yup. Misery needs company. Thays what all of this boils down to
This is very similar to society hatred of child free single women 30 and over. I don't get it with this at all, they aren't harming anyone else, just living their lives. Also I've always said "Better to be single alone then in a Domestic Voilence 😡 relationship at all" and "Better to he childfree then a single struggling mum".
It’s because they aren’t following the script. That’s the reason for the hatred
It's because they're not owned by penis. Men need the unpaid labor and bangmaid service.
I'm child free and LOVE IT
I thought the people in my life were accepting of it being a choice, until they had children. Now they don't seem to have any empathy for others. When you're unwell they don't show much concern, instead it's seen as an inconvenience and you're treated with distrust. I can't have bad days because they have it worse. I can't have good days either because they don't get that anymore. Days that are special to me are made to be all about them (including my wedding day 😞.) I also suspect the kids are being used to control others, through guilt and withdrawing them when you disagree on things. The way I've been treated has made me feel isolated and self conscious for having a life that looks different.
I'm not sure if they had kids for the wrong reasons or if they're unhappy with their choice. Before having kids they use to tell me that they didn't understand parents that complained about it, but it wasn't long until they started doing the same. In a way I think I had a better understanding as I don't think parents should have to pretend to love every moment of it. It's ok for them to have an outlet so long as it doesn't affect their children or get taken out on people that don't have them.
People who pull the "I have it worse than you so you can't complain" card are just so obnoxious. I'm allowed to have shitty days even if you perceive your days to be worse.
These are good points. It's the misery needs company thing
@@Mir_Teiwaz It's really lacking in empathy. We're all human and have a need to express ourselves sometimes, to feel a little compassion. It doesn't matter what our situation is.
@@ecclairmayo4153 Yeah it's like your feelings have to be aligned to theirs. You can't be happy if they're not, but also can't have it worse.
I am a mom and the people closest to me chose to be childfree. We all respect and understand that we have different reasons for our choices and know anlot of thought goes into those choices. I don't actually see why it is anyone's business if you are having babies or not.
Right it is not anyone's business what choices an adult makes regarding marriage or having children. Marriage and parenthood ARE NOT for everyone. I have heard about and seen the stories about horrible things happening to children as in neglect and abuse. Just because you can create a human being doesn't mean that you should.
Same. The only "childfree" people i have a problem with are the ones who try to convince me I ruined my life by having my kids or talk shit about my literal 2 year old.
Let's all remember that people are responsible for picking their own partners and the high divorce rates indicates many of us do a piss poor job of that. Then add kids to that situation. Many people get divorced after having kids.
People who stay single have the lowest divorce rate. Researchers are trying to figure out why.
Sadly there're still people who are so against of child free people like their life depends on🙄
J.D Vance, anyone?
Yeah, it's called men.
Actually the biggest life choice that others are jealous of and, thus, condemn is marriage. I realize statistically childfree people are happier, but statistically the happiest women are those who don't get married.
We also look younger than our married counterparts because we haven’t allowed some man child to stress us out- lack of companionship sucks at times but not as much as drama and stress from being with someone emotionally immature or even abusive- the sex usually dries up in a bad marriage so you’re not even getting that anymore- i’m 51 but look younger than my age and get compliments all the time on my youthfulness
Children deserve to be brought into the world because they’re truly wanted.
When you’re having children because you have to then it’s admitting that you don’t love your children.
“I had you simply because I had to as a woman “ vs “I had you because I loved you and I wanted to experience the joy you bring into the world”
Which phrase do you think is abhorrent and damaging?
I don’t have the capacity to love a child right now as my own much like I’m allowed to be single because I don’t have the mental space to love another adult human.
Children and all humans deserve to be in relationships where the reason they’re there is because the person that wanted them simply wanted to love and not “fill some duty/ have a purpose/ take care of me when I’m in the nursing home”
Children and all humans are not things to be used ! They are beings worthy of love and they don’t deserve to be forced into relationships with a person that’s not ready to love them.
❤
Pin this comment to the top! It's so perfect and loving ❤️
Everything that you just said described my life growing up as a child & my life now!🥹🩵
To be fair, even having children out of love can be complicated.
My mom really wanted me, she really wanted another soul that she could love and that would love her. Maybe that's because she hadn't experienced true love from anyone, not her own mother, nor her husband. Basically her whole life revolved around me, raising me, loving me etc.
I love her, but it's kind of a lot of pressure to be someone's whole life meaning. When I grew up I was scared to leave her and start my own life, it took me a long time to do that. I still feel guilty, because I live really far now, unfortunately.
When I was younger, I really wanted kids. As I’ve gotten older, that desire lessened and now at 37, I just got my tubes removed. I thought I might have 2nd thoughts about that decision, but I feel like a brand new woman. I’m the only woman in my circle, other than my sister, who doesn’t have kids and single, but there has been so much drama with divorce, child support hearings and overall hateful and abusive arguments over the children by the fathers who make it evident to me that’s it’s more about power & hurting the mom than it is about their child’s wellbeing. I couldn’t fathom having to deal with that level of drama, I’m very used to being able to cut ties whenever I want, I’d be so depressed if I had to deal with that. Having to witness this drama makes me so happy I’ve gotten my tubes removed.
I know too many people right now in my life breathing a sigh of relief when their parents pass away. The violence, hatred, addiction, and instability they lived in was too much. They do their damnedest NOT to raise their kids like they were, or are opting out completely. Don't have more than one child if you cannot provide a good life for them, emotionally and financially.
🎯✨
I am a 63 yr old, single woman who is so happy I chose not to have kids.
It’s jealousy on their part. Most parents are envious of my freedom since I’m childfree, pet free, and man free at 30.
Breeder: “Why do you make your whole personality about being childfree?!”
Also breeder: “This is Brayden and he’s my whole world!”
The term breeder is rooted in racism just fyi
@amyk.2500 how ? I'm not being sarcastic. Im black but i really don't know
@@amyk.2500 the fuck?
@@BlessO-f8z like most things lead back to, slavery. Enslaved Africans were physically forced to "breed" with each other like cattle.
@@Duncman92enslaved Africans were quite literally, physically, forced to breed with each other during slavery.
I think there's something to the fact that the childfree have the option to change that reality at any point in time and become a parent. But, those with children do not really have the option to change that reality and become childfree at any point in time. It's a kind of freedom that is irreparably lost once you make that choice to have children, and then you can never go back. And I think those with children absolutely resent that freedom that the childfree have.
And this is going to keep happening if child-free people continue to be too nice
And don't go hardcore hard balls on these child pushers
I plan on being one and done 10 years from now but I'm already expecting the influx of "oh your kid might be lonely" when they have no idea how traumatic pregnancy can be. If I feel inclined there's always adoption or fostering. I think these pro natal people are weirdos and misery loves company that's why they're so pressed.
It really shows how people are never satisfied regardless of what people choose to do and frankly it should be none of their business. I’ve met a few only children from my job and 9/10 times they are more knowledgeable and mature for their age. I think people forget there is a unique benefit and special bond that parents have with only one child. I’ve always felt second hand annoyed for my family who literally just had a child and others are already asking about another…let them breathe.
They’re talking like your kid is a cat.. fn creeps lolll
Sour grapes- they wish they had made the choice to be childfree (both men and women). But for a multitude of reasons, they had children and deeply regret it... so many people I've met would not have had children if they could do it all over....
I wanted children but I couldn't have them. The child-free by choice community is important for people who want to but can't. It gives us peace as you say. It makes us feel better knowing that there's nothing wrong with us just because biology has failed us.
44 and I am childfree and living my best life. Why have something just because society says so. Only to hate it or dispise it.
Im 31 yr old black woman and veteran. I have no partner/ pet/ or kids. I use my passport more in one year more than people have in their entire life.
I went from one job to the next in the corporate world and outside the corporate world. At each job I saw that I wasn't going to get ahead unless I cut someone else off at the knees. I was up against a triple-bind of how am I going to work for people who want me to be bad, how am I going to support a family without meeting unethical standards at work, and how am I going to be a reliable moral compass to my kids if I consent to cut other people off at the knees. Now I'm middle aged and child free and anti-materialistic and I'm vindicated to observe that my former employers are panicking about the flattening birthrate of their future workforce. I'm pleased with the decision that I made. I hope that other people's kids will benefit from the future increased demand for their labor.
Breeders don't like the fact that a childfree person has somehow "gotten away with something"
Agreed.
I’m a breeder and I admit that I am extremely jealous of those people who figured out their own way of happiness by remaining CF.
However, I’m also extremely admiring of them and proud of the younger generations who are much more self aware and therefore smarter.
Yes children are really terrible, we are better of without them, there are so much better things to do than raise children.
Soooo true
@@DanielAgedah-mv9bgI mean not all kids are that bad. But life is definitely easier without them
Agreed. Welp, it’s not our problem. 😊
I don't have a problem with people who want to remain childfree. I have a problem with people criticizing others who want to have children and determine for them when and how many children they should have.
My boss tried indirectly to hint at me to not have any more children because it will affect my career. Or if I really want to give my daughter siblings, it should not be more than X.
This triggered me so much because my family goals are different than hers. Yet she's using her choices as the standard for everyone else.
I was child free for 10 years and now I'm a new mom in my 30s , I feel incredibly lied to and have deep seated resentment and anger but love my son .. not only child free people tell me I chose this but other parents ( mostly fathers and older gen mothers ) , however childfree people give me the most grief . Despite I didn't choose the miserable pregnancy' and postpartum depression, I didn't choose my family gaslighting and abusing me , I didn't choose to be jobless or homeless, I didn't choose fighting my own trauma and reparenting myself so I won't pass generational abuse, i didnt choose to have my body completely destroyed - i have to have surgery to get rid of it , that doesn't include the lifelong surgery and injuries that saved my life and my childs .. I chose to be a mom and it's difficult and a major change - I don't want my child to ever feel he is unwanted despite him being a little twit at times . I support child free woman
Thank you for your honesty and support. I can’t imagine how difficult that’d all be what you’re going through. I sometimes wonder if I’ll regret not having kids, it’s my last chance to try as I’m in my late 30s but I think for me the safest option is to stay childfree. There’s so many risks with pregnancy and childbirth etc. I really hope things improve for you and you can get the support you need. I know I wouldn’t have a village and would be mostly on my own if I had a child.
@@milliem8051 if you don't have a village , then I'd say don't, the brief village I had have weaponised finances and my husband's family were extremely helpful but have limited resources . You are extremely in a vulnerable place with young baby's especially , woman were not made to take on all the responsibilities on themselves .
@@milliem8051 thats me with a village and a supportive husband, I love my family but sometimes I imagine not having them.. greener pastures as they say
they're just envious! they hate that we have enough intelligence to think outside the herd, that we are authentic, that we have free time and disposable income (maybe) and they don't! having and raising a human being is incredibly difficult and expensive! not everybody should have that privilege to begin with. look at all these monsters who hurt their own children!!!
I’m glad that people can choose what they want for their lives. I’m a mother and a wife and despite anything else that I do, I still believe that it is my greatest privilege. Because if my my mother chose to be child free I would not exist. Everyone has their own choices to make to continue their own family lines or end them. I just hope that people are happy no matter what they choose.
I am a parent who wholeheartedly supports the childfree movement, as it gets the word out about the validity of ALL choices and points out the problematic elements of idealizing and worshipping parenthood. I do, however, object to the pejorative labeling of parents as “breeders” (see some of the comments here), as it is purposefully dismissive, hurtful and sows division. Please think: would childfree people appreciate being called “the desiccated?” It’s this kind of language and attitude (and similarly, the cattier videos throwing money and vacations and other things that parents miss out on, in their faces) that does the movement no favors and makes some childfree folks come off as mean and hateful. It would be better if we could all respect each other and our individual choices, and be mindful of how we treat each other while increasing awareneas.
I agree. Better to avoid the us vs them mentality! If you're childfree (like me) good for you! If you're a parent, good for you! We can coexist
Not going to lie. The dessicated sounds like the coolest band name I have yet to discover.
But you make a good point
@@zibusisonkomo8715 It sounds like a cool name for a black metal band, lol!
Yea I don’t think someone is a “breeder” unless they’re purposefully filling their house with chicken (think: motivated by narcissism, religion, another ideology which requires their choice to be automatic and uncritical). Having bred a child, esp through a conscious decision, doesn’t make you a “breeder” lol it also discounts situations in the past where women did not have access to birth control and couldn’t socially complain about their husbands impregnating them all the time. I think it depends on what you’re speaking of. Throwing it at just anyone seems excessive and irresponsible.
I agree ❤
Believe that it is a woman's choice if she wants to be a parent. I'm a single parent, which wasn't the plan, and my child is profoundly disabled to an extreme level. If I had known the outcome, I never would have become a parent. I would never intentionally do this to another person, let alone the precious child that I brought into this world.
Whats going on is a transparency! Parents are being honest now about how hard having children are. It doesnt matter if ur young, old, married, divorced, single parent, village help, no village, working, stay at home... its very difficult! Its also very expensive and time consuming. U are raising an adult who will go into the world. For me personally i chose to have children and planned it but did not know all that came with it. I am still learning a lot even after 12yrs of being a parent. It's important to tell ppl the complexities of being a parent cuz the good parts of parenting are always shown and loving and having fun w ur child is the easy part
I think the really angry ones wish someone told them that being child free was an option.
It's rarely ever admitted, but I think most are unleashing that build up of emotion.
I get enough of children just being around my niece occasionally. The thought of attempting to raise a child who acts like she does at times is part of the reason that "wanting a child" is an absolute deal breaker for me in a partner no matter where we are in a relationship.
I'm childfree and about to be sterelized!
I love your videos. You’re honestly so inspirational. Parents realize too late that there are other happy paths in life. The one good thing to come from the internet is that young people can share new ideas and challenge the current status quo!
I'm a Gen X lady that loves kids and had two. But I've always known parenting isn't for everyone and I've always been against ppl having kids without putting in any real thought.
I very much back up child free ppl, including my own kids.
I'm in my 40s with one almost adult child. I wanted more kids or atleast one more but financially I couldn't. I still dream though. I also hope to have grandkids and a daughter in law. That will be my son's decision if he chooses.
Having kids and a husband is a personal choice. Everyone is entitled to live as they see fit.
It’s because people take ideas, morphe into their personality. When this happens and you tell them they are wrong about their ideas, they take it as a personal attack against them instead of detaching from the idea & having an open discussion on the topic to not get offended over.
Hence why it’s rather difficult in modern times to talk calmly about politics, money, religion, and sexuality.
I see unhappy people all around. It does not matter if you have children or don't have children for fulfillment. You have to find fulfillment in what ever you chose to in life. There are many people that believe that there is a "magic bullet" out there to find happiness; children are victims of being "magic bullet" and that is sad when the child turns out to be a lot of work and sacrifice to some of these parents. I am truly happy for parents that are happy with their choice. I don't wish them bad at all, but they should be happy for my choice to remain childfree.
republicans get triggered when people chose not to have kids. because it leads them to a life with less stress. they want you to suffer with high stress so they want to mandate people to have kids.
I grew up surrounded by fathers who HATE their children and wives, let their wives carry ALL the burden of caring for the family, and in turn the mothers hold deep resentment towards their children and husband.
I don't want that to be MY life, and people go batshit crazy when you simply say no to being abused.
I'm mom, but I completely understad that someone can chose life without having child. Life is a chain of choices. Live without child isn't worse that choice of having child. Btw I love my son and can't imagive life without him but... In my case antyconception doesn't worked. I was one of those who wanted to be childless maybe that is why I have such a pov of this matter.
I’m a teacher and don’t want kids… kids are too much to deal with 24/7 for me….gotten a lot of hate but I’m good….. haters lol
People forget that not everyone finds a man to have children with. Not every woman is able to get pregnant. Choice or not, people need to stop judging and just do their own life!!! Me not having kids shouldn’t have any impact on them. I am able to be an amazing aunt because I don’t have kids to take my time and money.
I knew from the time I was 16 I wouldn’t have kids. I knew it was choice not an obligation. I knew I would not have made a good father even though I had good parents. I knew I had no emotional of financial resources to care for a child. I knew kids, through no fault of theirs, cost time, money and a roller coaster of emotions. I never knew a parent that was 100 % happy with their decision. People I knew 20 years ago who shamed me for not having kids now tell me how “Lucky “ I am. The world has changed and not for the better and I consider myself part of the solution.
I have 2 kids and I fully support the child free movement.
As a parent of many children, I literally don't care if you choose not to have children. It's YOUR life.
I’ll never understand the h8te for our personal choices. I’m 32 and grew up in a VERY ADVERSE environment that I’ve worked hard to get away from. I saw nothing but single mothers begging , pleading, and crying for help from the fathers who abandoned them sometimes a few days after conception and social services agencies . I never understood how or why women from my area chose to struggle when clinics were giving away both condoms and 13 forms of birth control for FREE. It wasn’t about the “ lack of education “ or none of the other excuses… it was poor decision making and looking for love.
Once I changed my social class and environment, the ONLY difference that I noticed was more resources were available and the fathers weren’t (even if he was in the home ). They cried , pleaded , and begged for the right to use the restroom in peace or to have the luxury to sleep in.
Both groups of women would SERIOUSLY ask me … “ When are you gonna have one ?! “ or “ My children are my everything, I couldn’t imagine life without them”… it takes everything in me to be polite and not say , “You are the examples of why I don’t “.
Oh my God, I'm child free by choice and I don't like kids generally, but calling parents "breeders" is gross, mean spirited, bully behavior, and also marks us as a stereotype as anti natalists. Just ew.... The owner of this channel @Diaryofthechildfree should delete these abhorant comments. We can talk about this stuff, and make our own choices, without being total A-holes
I’m probably the only married person with kids who thinks you honestly don’t need them 😂.
I love mine because I wanted them and I’m grateful for that.
But people can and fully be happy with themselves without children they’re not a need.
I have a child and support the child free. Having a kid is no joke! Heck half of parents are pretty awful 😞. Nobody else gets a vote! Even us one and done sometimes hear it but I tell people some equivalent of GFY 😂
Exactly 💯💯💯💯. Great video. 😊
I’m a 36 now and had my first child at 17. Although it was tough at first it drove me to be a better man. I’ve accomplished a lot since then and even tho there are some things I wish I could do ,I have no regrets. I understand not everyone wants to have children and that’s ok.
It boils down to ferocious insecurity brought on by lack of choice. If your choice wasn't made freely, you will always have regrets and seek to justify your current state. If parenthood wasn't your choice, or if being child free wasn't your choice, then you'll always wonder what your life might've been like. Like a bunch of new car buyers we're out there looking for people who bought the same model as us as proof our choice was a good one. But if you really made a free choice having all options equally available, then you don't give a sh*t what anybody else drives. Stop looking at other people as proof your lifestyle is worthy--whatever it is.
just found your channel. thanks :)
Having been parentified as a kid, I was never really ready to have kids when I was in my 20s and early 30s. I experienced some of it, but due to having to co-parent with a toxic baby mama (my husband's ex), so it was tainted by baby mama drama. She got custody back, so now I'm not a parent anymore. So, I've been enjoying the childreee life, instead. May as well continue where I left off with that. 🤷🏻♀️
I love children. I work with children for a living. I love my niece and nephews and all of the children in my family. But for many reasons, not the least of which is an inability to conceive, my wife and I decided not to have children. It is not out of disdain for people who have kids or for kids in general. It is simply a choice that makes the most sense regarding our personal life circumstances. For this reason, I’m not going to spend my whole life pining for what could have been or feeling less than for failing to reproduce. I’m going to strive to live a life as rich and full as possible as a childless person, while also respecting the life and choices of those with children. This shouldn’t be such a radical idea.
Child free by choice, super happy with my career and my life! I honestly never felt any pressure to have kids, especially from my family, nor have I ever received any criticism or bad feelings from my friends who are parents. I love kids and have 20+ nieces & nephews ( including grands ) 🥰
Sorry to hear that child-free folks get criticism/unsolicited “advice” from others who made a different choice and had kids. 😢
I think a big part of it isn’t even about the presence of actual kids. “Child-free” is in many ways code for “free of many responsibilities, life changes, and health side effects of having children.”
I know I don’t want kids, and it has nothing to do with kids. Kids are cool. But I don’t want the financial strain, the dictated schedule, the postpartum depression, the potential for an adult dependent in 30 years, the possible custody challenges, the sticky doorknobs… any of it. And all of that went into my decision not to have kids.
Where I receive the most ire is from parents who, for whatever reason, didn’t anticipate some of those outcomes. I don’t fully blame them for not predicting them… wanting children seems to be all about natural hope and optimism. I’m more curious why we differed on factors considered than judgmental. Why did their lives lead to different assumptions about parenthood than mine?
I am a divorced mom of a single daughter. I LOVE my adult daughter and I am SO proud of her. But no lie, I was very overwhelmed, stressed and wished I had not had kids for the first entire 10 years. Having a teen was a BREEZE for me, but those first ten years were hell. My ex husband just disconnected and abandoned all responsibilities. NO ONE should have kids if they have any increased needs, or if self sacrifice is the least difficult. Don't have kids if being broke sucks for them either. I am all for people being child free. I have never seen people choose to be child free and regret it.
If you love your spouse, don’t have kids 😂
To each their own.
What a great explanation . 🙂
This was an amazing video essay
I'm 35. I've always known I didn't want children. Literally since I was a kid. I've moved 24 times . I've thrived in my own instability and somewhat nomadic . I love not having kids. I will continue travelling the country and working at resorts . Who knows ? The world is not the same place as when I grew up - as a parent , I would be living in FEAR. That's no way to live . I also foster animals and I'd be open to fostering a kid or two when I'm settled and own a house . Otherwise , I'm very content being childfree .😅
I have children and I never would to judge or shame anyone for not having children. It is a lot of work and if someone does not want to do that more power to them, it is a lifetime commitment. I think that as with everything else, the only one that has time to shame and pick on other people or the ones that are unhappy themselves. Therefore these who are unhappy parents and her jealous of the people who chose to not have children.
I like children but I never wanted any of my own. I have respect for parents and wish them all the happiness in the world. At my age I am now seeing my friends who are grandparents having to step in and become the custodial parents of small children in later life. All the best to them and I wish them well
I never cared about children. In my country, everyone around is pressured to have kids. Now that I am entering 40, I will have no worries about passing on my wealth to children. My intentions are to enjoy as much as I can. Oh btw. I'm from India, the most populated country in the world. 😂😂😂
In the US, I find that having kids is expected but our society is shit to actually raise kids in.
The cost of daycare alone was enough to convince multiple couples that I know to wait for financial stability that never came. Eventually they changed their plans.
Spot on
How about those people mind their own business?? If ppl don’t want or can’t afford to have kids, that’s THEIR business & decision.
Parents have a superiority complex and believe their relationships with their kids are more special than anyone else’s relationships. I’m saying this as someone who wants kids one day but never wants to be like *those* parents
For some parents, there is a sense of bitterness and need to see others be "hazed" via struggling to raise children. A kind of... I went through it... What makes you better than I am? Also some want grandchildren so badly they think they can shame it out of their children. It's a weird cycle.
As a parent I tell people two things either you haven’t left the right one yet for those that basic off of a bad relationship or that good for them to know what they want in life. We are all trying to figure it out.
Super explication !
Love your channel !
Thank you so much! ☺️
One thing that grinds my gears is the assumption that child-free people are not allowed to complain about being exhausted.
The typical "Tired? Try that with three kids" line is now just crude double speak for "I resent my choice, but I have to undermine yours so I don't feel like I've made a mistake".
Lots of older folk who felt obligated to waste their youth on exploitative jobs, get married to people who they settled for, and had kids that they didn't really want are now looking at current gens and feeling resentful that they never complained or made that choice. It's now gotten to the point of sabotaging progress out of sheer spite.
I'm Gen X, and I do love kids, but I never wanted any. My creative projects are my children, and I'm happy with that life as it's so satisfying. However, I'm supposedly not allowed to be burned out on a project as "No one forced you to do it" or "It's not real work".
I'm 100% certain it fuels the "way back when" nostalgia crap we see about returning to a glorious past, becasue it's a garish attempt at "I suffered, so you must suffer".
I am 100% sure my mom wanted a kid (me). And also 100% sure my dad didn't. He (my father) _tagged along_ ... ... he's nice and he was (and still is) a good father *because he's a good person* , NOT because he wanted children. Every gesture, every word he utters........I can't describe it, but one can see from a mile away he definitely regreted being married and having me.
One issue that is not discussed is we do not have the replacement population to support our systems. Japan is a great example. AI and robotics may address that one day.. But our Social Security and other programs (in the US and EU) were designed for a certain number of child to parent ratios.. We are lower, so when a lot of people get older, without other advancement, we do not have enough young to replace aging workers..
I don't think that the government needing bodies for the grind is a good reason to be a parent.
@@Turai12 not, its not.. But it's a reality. The same people who are not having children are going to rely on the young to support them in many cases..
Very well said 👍🏽