31 !! ...i am 62 and never had a girlfriend ..tried everything when i was younger ..dressed up , went to the gym 3 times a week ,went out every weekend ..all my mates got the girls and their girls would tell them how ugly i was ...every girl i attempted to talk to made an excuse to get away from me ,like introduce me to a friend then walk off laughing ..every girl i asked out turned me down ..all that "oh you will find someone someday" is a load of bollocks ......i have never even kissed a girl or hold there hand ..how could i possibly ever find anyone ..you have another 31 years to catch me up !!!
Wish more people would read your story. I'm tired of the platitudes thrown at you people. Yes, some people can improve with work, but some people are already the best version of themselves and stil find themselves undesirable. I dress poorly, my hair looks like I escaped out of a psychiatric hospital and I have the social skills of a brick. But I'm 6,2. Still have had women approach me out of the blue at work and out on the street. Can't say that for my shorter brethren though. How abysmall the chance may be, I still hope you have found happyness through other means in your life. Don't let the insincerity of society get to you. Cheers
Damn brother, not too be mean but maybe you were talking to girls above your league? Also you can still find someone, their are single 61 year old woman. If you still care, maybe you dont but dont be affraid too try
He lacks confidence 100%. How is being confident bs? He gives off very weak vibe of himself which immediately turns women off. He looks like he wont be able to hold a 1 on 1 conversation with a girl for even 10 minutes. He doesn’t seem like a bad dude and should absolutely work on his confidence.
Sorta, this man is attractive to most im sure but his confidence is ass and its very obvious hes weak. If he stops with the excuses and starts losing the fat he could kill it with females
If he’s gonna go to the clubs alone he needs to learn some dance moves. If the girls see a little well-dressed guy tearing up the dance floor, then at least one of them is going to be interested.
It’s hard for lesbians too… 😂🤣 as a lesbian I totally understand what men go through, and the effort/work they have to put to get a woman… and yes women have it easier in certain aspects when it comes to romantic relationships because they just have to exist and men just approach them
I hear you bro, you're not alone in feeling alone. I hope you get something positive out of sharing this, you're a lot more secure with yourself than I am by doing so.
You are not ugly! That’s an awful thing that was said to you. I have the best hope for you truly. Life is so tricky in regard to social relationships. Sending you positivity!
"look at you. you are such a handsome man. surely there is someone waiting. maybe someone did harm you. don't be so harsh to yourself. eventually you'll find someone" - insulting. just don't argue. 😮
Can you drama queens all chill out with the counterpoints for a second please? You can find someone “not ugly” and not want to date them too; they aren’t mutually exclusive.
You got this man hang in there get out there. And even if its across a microphone with someone online. Start slow. U are talkimg very clear and there is a woman out there that wants someone as soft as u seem. Never ever give up.
Respect to you for making this video. I'm not gay but can tell you ain't a bad looking bloke, there's no end of these videos on the internet with men being single permanently so it's a common trend. Myself am 36 and am these days a bit on incel. I feel your despair at what to do also, dating apps don't work, going out doesn't seem to work so no clue to what the answer is.
You’re honest, but it’s important to love yourself first. Starting with a hobby is a good way to build confidence and meet people. I hope your situation improves.
I'm a fair bit younger than you (I'm 5'6" on a good day and you kinda look like me just older) but I was in the same mentality from the latter half of high school to the early parts of college. Granted, it is a lot easier to interact with a lot of girls when you're still in uni because you have to go to classes but I think some of the things that I've learned about the world will stay relatively similar to the way it works in the real world. The biggest thing that changed for me over the past couple years is my confidence in myself. I wouldn't say I'm all that confident now but it's miles and leagues better than how I was at the end of high school and when I began uni. I feel that us guys are really hard on ourselves, we are overly self-conscious, and we overthink everything. It's hard to change this, it feels so normal to look at the world through a negative lens and think that people are either A. predisposed to dislike us or B. actively think negatively of us. This thinking is really obvious to others (even when we think there's no way they pick up on this). Here's a few things that I did and pretty much every one of them is a mental shift (in retrospect this is what I was doing, I didn't really think about it in an intentional way): The more you focus on women specifically, the worse you will feel. Our lack of experience with girls is one of our sore spots, I am a hardcore introvert as well. I'm still in uni but I don't hang with friends that much and I don't have a particularly large social circle. It's not all that often that I feel lonely. However, when I do, I used to just wallow in self pity and wish that I was super social (basically just wish that I'm someone that I'm not). Nowadays, when I feel occassionally feel lonely, I think about how I prefer to be by myself and the negative feelings I get from draining my social battery. Oftentimes those thoughts bring me solace and calm my rising turmoil. If it's a particularly stubborn bout of loneliness I will plan something to do with friends (usually a couple weeks to a month in advance) so that I have something to look forward to. Have things to look forward to. One of the most therapeutic things in life is hope/excitement for things to come. I have about three friends that I've kept in contact with from high school (messaging probably about once every month or 2 months, so it's not super often or anything) and I will ask them if they want to go camping or on a small trip for a few days. Now I know that when you're a real adult (not in university and past the age of fake adult activities like clubbing or partying) people have spouses, children, or a lot of responsibilities overall that stop them from spending a lot of time with the boys. However, it's not too dissimilar from how it is in university. My friends work part time jobs/internships over winter and summer break which definitely postpones my plans a week or two or three almost every time. It's just as hard to plan things with others now as it will be when I get older. However, the thing that I started without really thinking about it was being persistent. I would think "they definitely think I'm being annoying" "I should stop asking them, they probably don't like me". Luckily, I didn't give up and my plans often came to fruition and we (at least one or two of us because oftentimes not everyone can make it) would go on the trip. It would just feel nice to KNOW that whatever I'm going through now is just temporary because I'll at least get to have some fun with the boys in a couple weeks to a month. You said you're not an outdoorsy sort of person and to be honest neither am I. I just think that we spend so much time playing games that we neglect to get out into the world. We are also very self conscious so when we do outdoors stuff we think "I look so weird/stupid doing this" "Everyone is probably looking at me and thinking I'm a creep" just because we aren't very skilled. I'm gonna give you a bit of knowledge that I finally realized after wayyy too long. Nah, nobody cares about you. Yeah, they might give you a weird look or maybe have a passing thought that you're a bit strange but that's actually a RARE occurrence. Maybe 1 in 10-20 people will actually acknowledge your existence in their minds to have a thought about you and maybe 1 in 1000 will actually interact with you, even more rare, maybe 1 in 20000 will appear in your life again. You're older than I am so you probably know even better than I do that what you did in high school didn't really matter. Going on trips and the things you do on those trips, how you look to other strangers on those trips, is basically just the same thing as high school. You'll never see them again, just be yourself. Really, now that I think about it, the biggest advice I could give to you is to learn who YOU are and to accept that sure, you could change stuff if you really wanted to, but there's not much you can do to change who YOU are. That might make you a bit depressed because you're probably like I was and have low self-esteem, you immediately think about what YOU think your "bad characteristics" are and how you're "stuck" with them. If you want my honest, uncensored, not trying to make you feel better in any way, just brutal opinion? You look like a pretty average dude (if not slightly better than the average 31 year old honestly speaking) you think you're too short but honestly you have a pretty good height (5'5" 5'6" feels like we're short but it's not terrible really, we can sit in any seat, clothes actually fit us, we won't have early onset back pain just because we are super tall, we aren't 4'6" so it's not like we can't ride amusement park rides or wear adult clothing. It's just a comfortable height to be once you get past having to look up at a portion of the human population((If you think about it that way it kinda feels stupid to worry about height at all lol)). Sure we THINK girls care a lot about height, but I've talked to a lot of girls in uni and the main thing I've learned is they can pretty much decide if they are attracted to you ((the girls worth a damn at least, life lesson: ignore the opinions of people who just want to start trouble or always seem to find themselves surrounded by it)) so it doesn't really matter if you're 5'6" or 6'6".) You have a pleasant personality that comes across as genuine and kind (this isn't all that common so you should be proud of this). If you want to get better at holding a conversation with others or girls specifically, just find a reason in your surroundings to start talking to them (the weather is nice/bad, they dropped something so try and pick it up for them ((even if they are going to pick it up too, yea it's awkward but it's a guaranteed convo starter)), they are wearing something related to something pop culture that you know, etc.) and then give them a turn to speak. Just hold eye contact a fair bit and be a good listener. Most people like it when others are interested in what they have to say, since we don't get out much, everything other people say is interesting to us so it's not like we're being manipulative or a bad person for trying to talk to them. Once someone talks a bit to you, it's easier to talk to them and then you're less likely to feel like you're saying something creepy because at that point you're just having a conversationg about your lives or something interesting to you. Overall and silly things aside, we should be grateful for the things we have because it can DEFINITELY get worse for us lol. However, we should still find things that we feel like we lack, analyze them critically to see if it's just 'grass is greener on the other side' or if it's something we may genuinely be better with having in our lives. Chin up brother, we still have many decades ahead of us, and cmon, even if we never get a girlfriend, we've always got each other.
Thanks for sharing. I'm a 41yo virgin but I've come to view it as a blessing in disguise now. I think you look fine and seem like a nice guy so I think you could get a girlfriend if you wanted. Though I think you have to play mother natures game, which means, giving women what they want, which I believe is security for their future children. So making enough money to support a family is important, then becoming the type of person who can make a woman feel secure, so hitting the gym and trying to become socially more confident might help, though it's not vital and I don't think you're miles away. Then just getting out there and meeting lots of women and not taking rejection personal. That'd be my advice, though personally I think you're better off single anyway. Modern romance seems very complicated nowadays. Women don't need men anymore, so the power dynamics have shifted. At least, making your peace with being single might be a good first step, then you could treat romance as a bonus if it happens. But that's just my opinion. Thanks for being honest. Good luck!
Bro don’t give up. I learned how to date by improving my social skills. As I improved my social skills my dating life improved. The key is to not get too attached to results and have fun.
Big advocate for the gym. Main benefit I've had from it is gaining confidence in your body and self, being around strangers. Second benefit is for your health. Both incredible confidence boosters. Last thing to mention is go travelling! Re-invent yourself. Stay in hostels. All the best mate.
Thank you for making this video. I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability here. I am 31yo female and never had real relationship. (I got screwed over by online guys - mostly narcissists which damaged me mentally even more). I noticed that in my life I never had "luck" on love (?) Idk how to call it. My disadvantage is that I am fat with low selfesteem. But then u see outside women and also men, who are more fat and uglier than you and yet they still have gf/bf. I don't know why life is so cruel. I even cried because I never get to experience the teenage love. It is so unfair that things which are for majority totally natural part of life, are for us unreachable. My whole life I was into self development books. I tried positive affirmations, mirror excercise, self love and still I had no one! The closest I got was when I was talking online with some guy from neighbor country. The relationship didn't even start and he already betrayed my trust. Its like "Ugh!" If he didnt betray, we could have had relationship. Then on highschool, one boy liked me but I didnt like him in that time. Months later, I started to like him, but at that time he didnt like me anymore. Later on, my classmate liked me, but at the same time he also liked another girl. (The same for the guy who betrayed - he also had another woman in his heart). I am just so sad that even when someone liked me, I was never their No.1 - the only one. And I tried before gym too. I just feel like cursed. And whats worse, I feel chemistry only with the bad guys - fake one, narcissists. Who aren't capable to truly love someone. So even when I had some online situationships - it was never real love. We never met. Only being used and emotionally abused by some online jerks = that sucks even more. I also lost some friends due to being introvert and being more indoor. I just love to have peace and play games, and stay home. In my depressed era, I was able to not go outside for several years. And I didnt even miss it. But from time to time I feel very lonely, or when something bad happens - like someone is rude to me, I need to vent to someone. I have now only 1 irl good friend. And even having this friend didn't drag me out. I canceled many plans. Then a few weeks ago I saw video about one lonely man who said that he also likes to just play video games and have his peace, so he doesn't go out when friends are calling him. But then he realized, what if he was doing this for years? Where he would be in 10 years if he keeps doing this same thing - staying home, playing games and refusing to go outside meet with friends. And this was kind of eyeopener for me. I tried to at least find friends (if not love) online. But it looks like that even this plan crushed. I feel like nobody sticks with me, only fake people or narcissists. But thats my personal issue. I don't know what can be the cause for you. Also nowadays it hit me even harder that probably my childhood emotional neglect is causing me to be unlovable for other people. It was said that our partners are mirroring the love we got from our parents. And I was never truly loved by anyone. :( Do you have option to save up money and try therapist? Maybe it would help at least a little bit. And please, don't apologize for being negative or thinking this is about your self pity. I also felt the same. Sometimes I still feel. I think we deserve better. But one thing surprised me. You said, you are not good person. Why do you think that?
I have had feeling very down for the fact that I`m 20 years old and have never had girlfriend! I was always comparing myself to others people at my age who already have tons of experiences and feel angry, sad and confused about this. But I released and I know it`s true that you don`t need someone else into your life to be happy (girlfriend, wife or friends). Of course this doesn`t mean that you shouldn`t have friends or wife and children, but simply to realize that they are just one of the things that can give you happiness in life and if you are unable to have it then you can find happiness in other things in life. Loneliness is feeling not a real thing.
@@Samuel-vw2wy Because if you have a girlfriend only for pleasure then it`s just waste of time and money. Also I want to improve now, not wasting time on women
Loneliness is a real thing for many people on this planet. I'm genuinely happy for you that you do not feel the need to be loved romantically, but this is not the case for the majority of the world population.
I feel you, King. You tried a lot and finding a relationship is not something you can build up to, it just happens or doesn't. I've heard others say "work on it!" and things like this. That only has meaning in their own head, in reality you cant work on finding a woman. It is just simply impossible if a set of circumstances outside of your control aren't aligned.
Please know I have so much love for you, and love will find its way to you when you least expect it. You are not ugly, you are not a bad person and you are not unlovable. You are important, brave and more than enough
@@Reeeeeee12345 I'm married and waaay to old for this lovely guy anyways. But if I can offer anyone some encouragement, I am more than happy to do so! His love story is out there waiting for him
@@linnblom3640 Unfortunately, love stories happen less and less the more you age. There is a young women hypergamy problem, and over 35 a "older single women VS older single men who could not build relational maturity when young because of young women hypergamy" problem which has been steadily rising since 2008. It's important to treat others with kindness and consideration, but it is also important to not give people false hope like love would be a magical thing that happens to everyone sooner or later. The % of men who go loveless their entire life is rising, and not surprisingly it's much higher in disabled men, men with no diplomas, and men in lower socio-economic classes (while this is not the case for women).
I've had sooooo many girls tell me I'm ugly... yet I still managed to be with very attractive girls. No normal person would go out their way to tell you , that you're ugly, EVEN if you was(You're bloody not!). There is no reason for it, just like you wouldn't walk upto someone "Hey just to remind you, you're over weight... that'll be all, ta ra" There are some nasty bad people around, bullies and people who are down on themselves, I know you are down on yourself and not like that, but everyone handles it different, you remained lovely, they didn't.
im 36 next month 5ft 1 and far from in shape but i had a few sounds silly but if ya out looking people can tell and it puts them off.... each of my relationships have always come when im not even thinking about it... dating apps are horrible avoid like the plague and just try and join things you enjoy and go from there (i met my ex streaming and mutual invited her to join a game)
I'm 26 and been in one relationship which wasn't great if I'm honest because i dealt with a lot of psychological abuse throughout. I was also brought up in a strict religious family so wasn't encouraged to even have relationships with anyone that wasn't from the same religion and this (along with my shyness and introverted personality) has made it incredibly difficult for me to pursue romantic relationships throughout my adult life which is frustrating because i personally believe that the best time to learn how to behave around a girlfriend is during your late teen years because there's no expectations for you to be fully mature and you're far less likely to be expected to commit anything long term. Short term relationships when you're young teach you valuable life lessons so a committed long term relationship becomes far easier when you reach adulthood. Sorry this comment is so long but I wanted to express a few personal feelings I have regarding how to best have a healthy romantic adult relationship but then this is coming from a guy whose only had one experience with a girl so I'm no expert.
you and me both growing up religious as only being allowed to date within. on top of the introvertness and people thinking I'm weird 1st girlfriend scared me mentally and my insecurities disturbed my 2nd so being 27 now its like who in the world will i meet but i guess it is what it is.
7:43 I’ve totally been there. They feel really bold about doing it because that’s all they really value and they know that they can get away with this act of cruelty.
34 and never had a boyfriend, never been in love. Still lost my virginity because I wanted to. At this point I'm a bit of an incel; I know it's different for females but still.
as i am in introvert too , my advice for you would be , try just chatting first . no face, better with someone who shares your interest , and just keep it rolling , start being friends first, dont think about relationship yet , Just talk and see if the sparks comes .
Im a 6/10 body, and 4/10 face guy, 35yo, pretty poor, moms hotel till 29 etc. Had 6 serious relationships, around 10 "kinda" girlfriends, and circa 40 hookup. Nothing is impossible!
honestly, i know i can get a girlfriend fairly eisily, but what keeps me back is the belief that if a woman doesnt add peace to my life, she isnt worth it. And while ive met some pretty great women, and ive even dated and been with them, most women today arnt worth it. They cannot bring a partner peace, because they themselves arnt at peace.
Hey dude! Can tell this video took some cojones to make for you, so you should be proud of yourself. So first off, you have anxiety. I can see it in how tight your shoulders are, your talking patterns and the self doubt that creeps in at the very start. Give your GP a call and just talk about starting a conversation about anxiety. It comes with the social awkwardness and if you get it under control like I have...dude you will flourish. I don't do well on dating apps either, it's a toxic quagmire. I think you'd have way more success meeting people in person doing hobbies and that kind of thing. Gym can be a great place to meet people, but meeting women there is a bit dicey but there's all kinds of people you can meet there. You're not a bad looking dude and women who care will not care about your height. I don't know how you dress outside of your house, but based on your t-shirt you might want to revisit the wardrobe. If you get some new, non-ratty stuff that fits you and suits you well with the cut of the fabric and appearance it'll make you POP. I think the first step would be to do the work on yourself first and be happy with where you are on your own - being single can be lonely at times, but being secure with yourself in the life you have before you add someone else into it can be a long road but I believe in you! Get out there. Fake it 'til you make it. The first step is hard. I know, I had to take it too. You've got a bit of a road ahead but from this video you seem like a sound dude and if we lived nearby I'd absolutely grab a beer with you. You got this!
Go to Southeast Asia…man…seriously. Look, I have Asperger’s, but I joined the Navy at 19 and wasn’t diagnosed until I was 28…but I lived in Japan and traveled around Asia. You can find a girlfriend abroad…plus you’ll be out of your comfort zone.
You are not ugly. You have your hair and from the looks of it, your original teeth, so you have more than a lot right there. Part of it is confidence but part of it is setting your expectations. You will find someone but you have to put yourself out there and meet people. You also have to realize you aren't likely to find someone that looks like a model and most of us aren't so there's nothing wrong with that.
Hit of reality as someone whos got no issue with getting girls but just cant stand the "emotional responsability" of having todeal with someone else's emotional trauma and neccessities, let me tell ya, you're better alone, I'm back to being single and I'm living the life, go out with my friends, gaming nights, talk to girls now and then but not going to the next levels ever again, life is good
You seem like a great bloke mate - chin up, and know you are worthwhile. I dealt with shyness and confidence issues in my younger years so I feel you - but things can get better!
@@kymypynot with that attitude. Negativity is a self fulfilling prophecy and it’s sure as hell going to stay if you leave the door open. You need to reframe your mind mate because an attitude like that is getting you absolutely nowhere
@@avocadeousYeah, I have noticed that there is a lot of self-pity and anger in these comment sections. You’re right, an attitude adjustment would go a long way, but it is easier to just blame the world.
I don't know if this will be any help but I've found that the best way to meet people and make friends/ partners is via shared hobbies and groups that cater for them. So if someone likes comic books join a club or society online and see if they have meet ups or suggest a meet up event or even organise yourself! And that can be for any interest you have or can imagine yourself liking. There are groups for everything these days. I met most of my girlfriends before my current wife via being a member of a political party and community groups. Honestly it is far easier when you automatically have an interest or ideology in common as it gives you something to talk about out of the gate. Give it a try!
This is so true. I met my wife on POF when I was 19. I had some stupid South Park quote as my title as I wanted to see if anyone would get it. After about month, she messaged me with the next line. Been together 12 years. People love to share their passions with others, it’s a great place to start.
My take away is that you need someone to go along with you to these things that can help you. Whether that's someone to workout with you, someone to introduce you to new people at pubs, night clubs and other social events. Your height may not help but not every woman looks for 6'2 in every partner. You're not a bad looking guy at all. I wish you all the best
37, one disastrous LDR from 25-28. Depression over being single at 30. Did a lot of therapy and healing and at 37 I am comfortable being single. I would be lying if I said being single didn't have it's perks. ADHD and school have put me through the damn ringer, so I do not have the headspace for a relationship even if I wanted one right now.
I love your honesty man. God has someone for you! Praying you get your dream companion! I’m 31 as well and can totally relate the older I get the more I realise ughhhhhhhhh it’s so hard. Bro you are not an ugly dude. Your average looking
Youre not a bad looking dude. Get your style up, lose weight, build muscle, do all the self improvement you can. This is in your hands man. You can improve and get what you want.
Hey, keep your head up and remember it’s absolutely never too late to find love. Focus on what you can control. Do you work? An absolutely massive percentage of married people meet their partner at or through their work. I think it’s nearly 50%. It’s a great way to meet people organically, where things can happen spontaneously and you and others learn about each other, which can go further. Regarding your height, I’d maybe try wearing shoes which bring your height up more? Or soles? I feel different heights in different shoes. As long as you’re not wearing high heels, no one will think you’re catfishing or anything and it would give you more confidence for sure. And driving. I know lots of people find it very nerve wracking, but I have a friend who has big anxiety problems (who happens to face quite similar challenges to you based on what you’ve said) who has managed it and now he’s driving confidently and comfortably. Driving is a game changer, when I started driving, even though I’m not a car guy at all, it made me feel better in many ways. You’re good looking and you have a genuine personality, so you definitely have potential if you do those other things. I think if you focus on yourself, really put the work in and think - right, I’m gonna start today, then you’ll feel better about yourself and honestly a relationship will come along without you even looking for it. Take care.
Hey man, as long as you're happy. Dont find a woman just because you think that's what should happen. Only if you want that in your life. I was 23 when I had my first girlfriend. I was really happy before that, i just "thought" that's what i needed to because normal life 🤷♂️ By 25 we'd had a child. By 27 she'd cheated on me twice and fell pregnant again. DNA test showed he was mine, we tried to stay together for the kids....she cheated again. By 29, I had a new girlfriend, we had a kid when i was 32 and she changed drastically. At least once a year i had to stay at my parents for a couple of months. Life was a real rollercoaster of emotions. Cut to last year (41 y/o). I've finally had enough, moved out, got my own place and saying single forever now. I'm finally happy again. There were a couple of happy times in there but it's overshadowed by the hurt and misery. My point is, if you're happy, good for you man. Nobody needs a girlfriend.
I do not trust most humans enough, especially most women, to even think of marrying them without having lived with them for at least 5 years. So having children... urrrh. Given I'm now 35, it's a big no for me. I need a VERY long time to trust people IRL now, I'm no longer willing to potentially sabotage my life for women who can betray you at the worst time for their personal benefit even after several years of living under the same roof.
I think what's best for you is to put your feelings regarding your virginity or lack of a girlfriend aside and just try and meet people in general. Women are people just like you and me, and just focusing on making meaningful connections with people regardless of gender will make you feel better. Even if just over the internet, find people with similar interests and get to know them, don't focus so much on whether they're an option as a girlfriend or not.
Yep, you're right. We often forget that girls are just people with their own lives, families, wants, needs, feelings, and insecurities. It's best to just find friends to hang out with and not worry too much about finding a girlfriend. Oftentimes the emotional connection you feel with the boys is just as fulfilling as the connection with a girlfriend.
@@user-er8kz2jg6o It really is. Society has conditioned men to see women as other, and has conditioned many women to think of themselves as lesser as well. It's a poison to society and of the mind, and it's caused harm to lonely and autistic or socially challenged individuals who haven't figured out how to maneuver around and see past that which permeates the poison
I see people recommending the gym, it helps but it won't get you a girlfriend and turn you into a chick magnet, women care more about confidence and status. I consider myself good looking and a gymrat and practice skateboarding but I'm not confident or charismatic or have a good paying job. I'm 31 year old and never had a girlfriend, some guys are just not chosen by women.
This is so extremely vulnerable. It seems that you sense a lack of community. You mention not having many friends and I don’t know what your family is like, but there is all kinds of love in this world that make us feel less lonely. You talk about having an emotional connection and spending your days with this “person”, but there are so many different types of people you can have an emotional connection with and many people who can be in your lives as long as you want them to be. You might even meet your person by building community. I know that you are an introvert, but make the gesture to do what your friends/family want to do and develop a closer bond. I think everyone in the world craves love/care and we can find them in so many different ways.
Im 41 . I suffer for social anxiety and anorexia , all my life I have been isolated , have only few friends , I never had a serious long term relationship , Im afraid of sex , Im afraid of men , I even have no experience and I would not go to bed with bf , 41 with small experience , what I have been doing all my life ? Isolated. Im sick all my life . I would like to meet a new friends . Im a loser
I'm jealous. you're taller than I am. I'm 26 and never had a girlfriend either. I missed my opportunity when I was young because I was too scared to ask a girl out and get rejected. I tried when I was 19, but I couldn't get any woman to go on a date with me. now I'm just too old to even try.
You are still young at 26 tho. I am a guy who turned 23 last month(on 22nd December) and never had a girlfriend before. I went on my first ever date 4 months ago at the age of 22. She was 19(turned 20 few days ago) and we went to the mall, ate in Mcdonalds there and got my first hug from a girl but still yet to get my first kiss and I was pulling her cheeks a lot as she was cute. But 2 weeks after the date she became toxic and mean to me and blocked me on all social media. She basically used me for free lunch and to take lots of pics of her so she can post them on social media. I also have massive crush on this another girl for the past 6 months where I go for some classes to prepare for exams to get into an MBA B School as I just graduated college about 6 months ago and going to study MBA next. She also turned 23 just over a week ago. She has even called me cute several times and I pulled her cheeks too but I am shy near women in person so she is the one who initiates conversation with me. Few months ago I gave her a chocolate too but I often see her with her male friends so I get worried whether I have chance with her or not. 3 months ago, I went out with this another girl in the same class who is also 23 but so far we are just friends. We just roamed around the city and had lunch in a big restaurant and I pulled her cheeks a bit too when we took selfie but was shy to ask for a hug. It was a fun day and we might go out again probably next month. I also have been following some girls on Instagram who are in the 21-25 age range from the same institute but different classrooms and messaged few of them and had been chatting with 2 or 3 of them who are also about 22 and 23 year olds. Since July 2023, I also have been chatting with another girl on Instagram who is 19(turning 20 in April). We were in the same school but didn't know each other in school days so we only have been knowing each other for 6 months. We also send each other virtual hugs and she is very sweet and we have many things in common like we are both foodies, like similar types of movies and many more and we plan to meet up to eat somewhere very soon too but in the end I am still single.
@@manosijroy8282 I'm telling you it just isn't possible for me to get a girlfriend. none of them share my beliefs and even if they did, I'm just not good at talking to people.
I would say the is a point when it will stop bothering you that much, and after that you'll see it more as advantage to stay single and free. For me I think it was around 35. The main point is to find something in your life that you passionate about
I never even considered being an “ugly” guy. In fact my family always told me I was good looking. for some reason I never seem to get any attention. I feel like there are other guys that look worse and even talk less than I do who do better. I do have aspergers so I’m wondering if there is just subconscious things I’m doing that are just pushing people away. Maybe nowadays dating is just non existent because that’s the vibe I get. I don’t even feel like this is a climate where dating is encouraged tbh. I’m in gen z and I don’t see a lot of couple anyways. I hope this helps you not take it as personally.
just know that everyone has a different "type". almost all of my girl friends have extremely different preferences when it comes to a man's looks or personality. just because you think some qualities aren't working in your favor, it doesn't mean every girl believes so. i don't really feel like i'm fit to give you any advice, but if i could, go out and do things that you've always wanted to do, big or small, find some enjoyment in life again. if you happen to meet a girl along the way, yay! but if not, you've made your life your own. don't give up! find joy in solitude!
@@ASPEDBUSDRIVER13 of the 5 things you listed are in your control. Stronger? Hit the gym. Smarter? Do some reading or go back to uni/college. More money? Well you can work hard and get promotions. Sure there’s some more nuance to it, but it’s not like there’s absolutely no way of changing a situation like that.
@@avocadeous of course. To an extent, all in your control. The point I'm trying to make is let's stop pretending hypergamy doesn't exist/isn't real and let's stop using euphemisms for it. Hypergamy shouldn't be shamed. And women shouldn't even be shamed for their nature. The people who should be shamed are the ones pretending it isn't real and gaslighting us. Stop telling men, "it's because women like confidence and all of those things make you more confident and your confidence is what makes you attractive." Start telling men, "women are attracted to tall/strong men who can provide because it's in their nature biologically." A lot less men would be confused/angry and bitter if we're honest with them when they're younger. Because if they're born unlucky genetically, (maybe they're not tall, maybe autistic, ect,) then they won't be confused when they grow up and they'll understand they might have to put more concentrated effort in other areas they CAN control compared to other guys to attract women. Because THOSE men CAN be confident, but when they're less attractive for other reasons, they'll be told they're arrogant and THATS their problem. You see what I'm saying?
@@ASPEDBUSDRIVER1 I suppose another solution is to go even further back than that. Tell people from a young age that not everyone gets into relationships and that it is okay. The system that we’re in right now tells us that everyone gets into relationships and that everyone finds a partner which simply isn’t true. Some people, for one reason or another, never find that second person and they feel left out because we’re constantly told that we SHOULD be in these relationships because that’s how it’s always been. If we de emphasise relationships, a lot of the people feeling miserable about not being in relationships will have an easier time accepting themselves, which will lead to them finding joy in solitude. I do get what you are saying, though I am surprised that there are people that completely ignore hypergamy. All it takes is two eyes to see that it exists and denial gets them nowhere. My “work on yourself” argument comes from the idea that you can boost your perceived status by earning more money or hitting the gym more often, but I won’t deny that good genetics makes all of that easier.
This is my son's situation. Same age too. I would like to ease your mind. My son seems to be contented. If he meets a great woman, then he meets a great woman. If he doesn't then he doesn't. It's his life story not mine. I really don't have anything to criticize him about.
Damn. I am 8 years younger than your son(if he is 31) and feel as if i am running out of time. I am a guy who turned 23 last month(on 22nd December) and never had a girlfriend before. I went on my first ever date 4 months ago at the age of 22. She was 19(turned 20 few days ago) and we went to the mall, ate in Mcdonalds there and got my first hug from a girl but still yet to get my first kiss and I was pulling her cheeks a lot as she was cute. But 2 weeks after the date she became toxic and mean to me and blocked me on all social media. She basically used me for free lunch and to take lots of pics of her so she can post them on social media. I also have massive crush on this another girl for the past 6 months where I go for some classes to prepare for exams to get into an MBA B School as I just graduated college about 6 months ago and going to study MBA next. She also turned 23 just over a week ago. She has even called me cute several times and I pulled her cheeks too but I am shy near women in person so she is the one who initiates conversation with me. Few months ago I gave her a chocolate too but I often see her with her male friends so I get worried whether I have chance with her or not. 3 months ago, I went out with this another girl in the same class who is also 23 but so far we are just friends. We just roamed around the city and had lunch in a big restaurant and I pulled her cheeks a bit too when we took selfie but was shy to ask for a hug. It was a fun day and we might go out again probably next month. I also have been following some girls on Instagram who are in the 21-25 age range from the same institute but different classrooms and messaged few of them and had been chatting with 2 or 3 of them who are also about 22 and 23 year olds. Since July 2023, I also have been chatting with another girl on Instagram who is 19(turning 20 in April). We were in the same school but didn't know each other in school days so we only have been knowing each other for 6 months. We also send each other virtual hugs and she is very sweet and we have many things in common like we are both foodies, like similar types of movies and many more and we plan to meet up to eat somewhere very soon too but in the end I am still single.
Your son is miserable and doesn't want to burden you with knowing that. And if he's awkward..YOU screwed up somewhere, (and it's an uncomfortable thing for you to confront. ) It's a lot easier to tell yourself and others: "my son seems content," isnt it?
Be confident. You’re not ugly dude, you just seem insecure. There are a lot of women out there for you but never try so hard in attracting them, that is the opposite of what attracts them. Also maybe try to go out of your comfort zone in your standards, what may seem as unattractive to you visually could change once you get to know someone
Theres also a website called Meetup to meet new friends. I dont know if they have it in England, or whetever yer from. Also in Thailand you ll definitely meet new friends who are Westerners on vacation too. Thailand is very affordable. You can live there in a hotel and everything should cost about 800$ per month U.S. money. Tbe plane ticket is the expensive part
You need to learn to "Act as if" ... You do have the personality, this video shows it, the confidence it takes to put this honest of a video up for billions to see takes huge balls buddy. You just need to redirect your attention and energy. If you can look up the movie "Boiler Room" there is a lot of lessons that can be learned from it. One other thing is stop consuming current media, go back and watch media from the 70's-90's something happen in the early 2000's that started a trend of weak, submissive men. I also hate to say it that you do have to change aspects of your life that were important that may actually be stunting your growth.
I don't get it. You are thoughtful and good at communicating. You aren't unattractive and you aren't obese. If you had 20 girlfriends by this point in life, you'd probably be on youtube saying women are insane and you just want to be single. Life is just different degrees of frustrating circumstances.
My hearts breaking for you man, my advice is to go to church regualrly, find one with a lot of women, being a regular in a community will lower womens higher standards
Hi. Let's start with the fact that my English skills are not good enough, so I translate using Google. I hope you will understand something from this. I come from Poland and I'm 33 years old and I've never had a girlfriend, although I look like a Greek half-God if it makes you feel better and I'm quite tall. I'm also an introvert and I don't drive. I also stay alone and without anyone. I know a certain GROM special forces operator who is also as tall as you. However, it looks really good. It's a matter of training and getting fit, you can exercise at home, at any exercise facility, anywhere. Where can you find some pull-up bars and a place to do push-ups. I used to go out everywhere, hoping to meet someone, and I've been doing that for years. However, I ended up going to places where I can exercise and I didn't meet anyone, but I got super fit and I still do it. I recommend it, best regards. Hang in there buddy and stay strong, we're all in this together and you could say we're all on the same rickety ship.
Bro, it's easy to get one. Realize that you'll have to go through multiple rejections to get one of them. Not all of them are the same and not all of them have the same taste of men. Ask yourself, what do women like? And then ask yourself, out of these things, what can I improve? But at the end of the day, improving yourself will take you halfway to the goal, the other half is learning to connect and socialize based on what they like, how they live, and what is fun for them. Do not express feelings too early when connecting, make them wait a little when giving it to them. They crave this aspect and the more you give it, the less it will mean when you say it often. Fill your day with plans outside of your house, this aspect is key when trying to find someone. If you go for a hike somewhere cool, or if you go shopping, go this place or that place it will make them think that you are self-sufficient and will possibly make them want to join you in your activities. Dont pass up an opportunity to let them join you, you will get a girl you just have to be where they are. Get good at finding places where you can talk to them.
i think you just need to take little steps to build your confidence! you are not unattractive and once you believe this others will see this too. put yourself out of your comfort zone and try new things - whether is it going on a hike or just random things that you wouldn’t normally do will make you feel so proud of yourself and build up your self esteem.
It seemed like I had a chance back when I was 18, I waited too long and missed it, didn't know how to use it. I saw the writting on the wall right then and there Now I'm 58 and nothing has changed, I never had a girl. Rarely gets to me these days tho.
If you are ugly then I'm a monster and I had relationships with beautiful (at least in my view) women before. But most of them were the toxic type who didn't see me as their equal and so we eventually seperated ways. What I want to say: If you aren't the type of guy women really want then you will most likely end up with the crazy type of woman. (who had like you don't really even wanna know how many men before you and before she gave you a chance)
I’m 5’6” and I’ve been laid more times than I can count. And by hot women too. Not a skag in the bunch. I was shacked up with my girlfriend when I was 14. Only getting married (when I was 30) brought my adventures to an end. I guess life is just unfair. Women know when you are experienced. They can smell it, as if you’ve been sprayed with some pheromone.
To be brutally honest with you bro. Almost everything that comes out of your mouth is cope. Aside from your height which you cannot fix, A lot of the other things you say surely can be. You say you're not good socially but you don't put yourself out there enough to overcome that. You say you don't like going to the gym because it makes you "uncomfortable, but that's the point. Instead of really looking to change the things about you that are unattractive you just accept them and remain lonely and unhappy. You either have to face these things head on NOW or remain this way for the rest of your life. Choice is yours, just don't act helpless because your not. Commit to change or accept your fate
"I wish I had the answers!" Here are the answers: -Most people are not tall. -Most people don't have a lot of money. -You can be happy without a relationship. -Tons of people have had relationships, so it's not that rare or special to have one. -Most people don't even like their partner. There you go.
Self esteem is THE answer. You’re over complicating it, I’ve been there. Start spending more time understanding how to help improve your self esteem and even if the gym isn’t your thing, make it your thing. The gym was an absolute life saver for me.
If you keep doing the same thing, you will most likely get the same results. Go look in a different market, try the philippines if you want a wife or thailand if you want to have fun.
Do you really think you'd be happy if you found a girl? Because I know for a fact you wouldn't. I think you romanticize relationships to be something that they're not. Let me tell you about my coworker who just two weeks ago broke down crying because his wife has a boyfriend and he can't even leave because she threatened to take the custody of kids, and here in Europe the wife gets the custody in 90+% of the cases, while Husband is forced to pay their schooling, healthcare and everything else for years. So he is basically a hostage in an unbearable situation. What most inexperienced guys don't realize is that relationships are hell more often than not. Far more often. Sure getting a girlfriend removes this awkward state where a man feels like he's a lesser human, but only thing making you lesser is yourself. Why not accept the fact you're not normal and run with it? Jesus Christ, there's so much more to life than finding a girl. You'd feel much better about yourself if you climbed some of the tallest mountains, or hiked some of the longest hikes. Buy a ticket to New Zealand and cross the Te Araroa Trail. It will take 3 months to cross on foot, but at the end of it you'll realize there's far more to life than this tiny psychological box you're now in.
Same, 32 here, but to be fair I never out any real effort to. Porn is enough for me and honestly I just wanted the validation and have children, I can do alone fine for everything else. My zoloft killed my sexual desire for good so I guess that is a curse and a blessing at the same time.
The average height of women where I live is 5'2". If you can visit me in Latin America there is a very high likelihood that you would meet a woman who likes you as much as you like her. Lots of women in Latin America would like to date foreigners because the Machismo culture of Latinos encourages cheating, and the women don't like it. I am retired and I don't charge anything to assist men who just want what nature intended. It's astounding to me that most guys take dating advice from TH-camrs who are themselves older and single. I am blissfully married to a Latina whose primary goals are to have a happy family and a clean home. She is feminine and cooperative. We also have a lovely, well-behaved daughter. You can get what you want. You just need a new plan.
31 !! ...i am 62 and never had a girlfriend ..tried everything when i was younger ..dressed up , went to the gym 3 times a week ,went out every weekend ..all my mates got the girls and their girls would tell them how ugly i was ...every girl i attempted to talk to made an excuse to get away from me ,like introduce me to a friend then walk off laughing ..every girl i asked out turned me down ..all that "oh you will find someone someday" is a load of bollocks ......i have never even kissed a girl or hold there hand ..how could i possibly ever find anyone ..you have another 31 years to catch me up !!!
Wish more people would read your story. I'm tired of the platitudes thrown at you people. Yes, some people can improve with work, but some people are already the best version of themselves and stil find themselves undesirable.
I dress poorly, my hair looks like I escaped out of a psychiatric hospital and I have the social skills of a brick. But I'm 6,2. Still have had women approach me out of the blue at work and out on the street. Can't say that for my shorter brethren though.
How abysmall the chance may be, I still hope you have found happyness through other means in your life. Don't let the insincerity of society get to you.
Cheers
I'm sending my support to you. I wish I could do more.
try invincible by David tian and the ace formula by Adam lyons
I'm 53. My strategy has become to bet on the existence of an afterlife. Everything we lacked here, we could make up for there.
Damn brother, not too be mean but maybe you were talking to girls above your league? Also you can still find someone, their are single 61 year old woman. If you still care, maybe you dont but dont be affraid too try
Please stop telling him to “Just be confident” in the comments section. Confidence is bullshit.
He lacks confidence 100%. How is being confident bs? He gives off very weak vibe of himself which immediately turns women off. He looks like he wont be able to hold a 1 on 1 conversation with a girl for even 10 minutes. He doesn’t seem like a bad dude and should absolutely work on his confidence.
Are u confident in that statement?
Sorta, this man is attractive to most im sure but his confidence is ass and its very obvious hes weak. If he stops with the excuses and starts losing the fat he could kill it with females
@@prasmitdevkota4251Confidence only matters if she likes your appearance.
@@chuckcollins2349 Then guys should work on their appearances. And should not chase women who dont like their appearance.
5'5 going to clubs alone... respect for trying at least
dingdong
If he’s gonna go to the clubs alone he needs to learn some dance moves. If the girls see a little well-dressed guy tearing up the dance floor, then at least one of them is going to be interested.
my dad is 5'5
@@aurelian771 im 5'6
I got my first girlfriend a couple weeks after i turned 31. Even though we broke up 3 months later, im grateful for the experience.
lmao
@@astroboirap yeah, me too because I proved to the nay sayers that I can get a girlfriend.
@@astroboirap😂
Did you bang her?
Was it better to haved loved then to never had loved at all?
its tough out here for alot of us guys, women have no idea how easy they have it when it comes to dating.
Oh you have walked in the shoes of every female in this world?
That’s an achievement.
It’s hard for lesbians too… 😂🤣 as a lesbian I totally understand what men go through, and the effort/work they have to put to get a woman… and yes women have it easier in certain aspects when it comes to romantic relationships because they just have to exist and men just approach them
@@eheheh3263 100% agree, some of these men think only straight women exist or something 😅
@@eheheh3263damn even y’all
@@eheheh3263lol nah. Many women seem bisexual. It should be easy for you.
Sorry you were called ugly cause you're definitely not. Have a blessed day
I hear you bro, you're not alone in feeling alone. I hope you get something positive out of sharing this, you're a lot more secure with yourself than I am by doing so.
You are not ugly! That’s an awful thing that was said to you. I have the best hope for you truly. Life is so tricky in regard to social relationships. Sending you positivity!
Date him then. Break his curse if you really meant what you said.
yeah so would you date him? no? thought so.
"look at you. you are such a handsome man. surely there is someone waiting. maybe someone did harm you. don't be so harsh to yourself. eventually you'll find someone" - insulting. just don't argue. 😮
Can you drama queens all chill out with the counterpoints for a second please? You can find someone “not ugly” and not want to date them too; they aren’t mutually exclusive.
Well girls and guys call me ugly too and I always try my best to be good looking
Rooting for you man !
You got this man hang in there get out there. And even if its across a microphone with someone online. Start slow. U are talkimg very clear and there is a woman out there that wants someone as soft as u seem. Never ever give up.
Respect to you for making this video. I'm not gay but can tell you ain't a bad looking bloke, there's no end of these videos on the internet with men being single permanently so it's a common trend. Myself am 36 and am these days a bit on incel. I feel your despair at what to do also, dating apps don't work, going out doesn't seem to work so no clue to what the answer is.
Find girls online but just not on dating sites. Best results of my life.
You’re honest, but it’s important to love yourself first.
Starting with a hobby is a good way to build confidence and meet people.
I hope your situation improves.
I'm a fair bit younger than you (I'm 5'6" on a good day and you kinda look like me just older) but I was in the same mentality from the latter half of high school to the early parts of college. Granted, it is a lot easier to interact with a lot of girls when you're still in uni because you have to go to classes but I think some of the things that I've learned about the world will stay relatively similar to the way it works in the real world. The biggest thing that changed for me over the past couple years is my confidence in myself. I wouldn't say I'm all that confident now but it's miles and leagues better than how I was at the end of high school and when I began uni. I feel that us guys are really hard on ourselves, we are overly self-conscious, and we overthink everything. It's hard to change this, it feels so normal to look at the world through a negative lens and think that people are either A. predisposed to dislike us or B. actively think negatively of us. This thinking is really obvious to others (even when we think there's no way they pick up on this).
Here's a few things that I did and pretty much every one of them is a mental shift (in retrospect this is what I was doing, I didn't really think about it in an intentional way):
The more you focus on women specifically, the worse you will feel. Our lack of experience with girls is one of our sore spots, I am a hardcore introvert as well. I'm still in uni but I don't hang with friends that much and I don't have a particularly large social circle. It's not all that often that I feel lonely. However, when I do, I used to just wallow in self pity and wish that I was super social (basically just wish that I'm someone that I'm not). Nowadays, when I feel occassionally feel lonely, I think about how I prefer to be by myself and the negative feelings I get from draining my social battery. Oftentimes those thoughts bring me solace and calm my rising turmoil. If it's a particularly stubborn bout of loneliness I will plan something to do with friends (usually a couple weeks to a month in advance) so that I have something to look forward to.
Have things to look forward to. One of the most therapeutic things in life is hope/excitement for things to come. I have about three friends that I've kept in contact with from high school (messaging probably about once every month or 2 months, so it's not super often or anything) and I will ask them if they want to go camping or on a small trip for a few days. Now I know that when you're a real adult (not in university and past the age of fake adult activities like clubbing or partying) people have spouses, children, or a lot of responsibilities overall that stop them from spending a lot of time with the boys. However, it's not too dissimilar from how it is in university. My friends work part time jobs/internships over winter and summer break which definitely postpones my plans a week or two or three almost every time. It's just as hard to plan things with others now as it will be when I get older. However, the thing that I started without really thinking about it was being persistent. I would think "they definitely think I'm being annoying" "I should stop asking them, they probably don't like me". Luckily, I didn't give up and my plans often came to fruition and we (at least one or two of us because oftentimes not everyone can make it) would go on the trip. It would just feel nice to KNOW that whatever I'm going through now is just temporary because I'll at least get to have some fun with the boys in a couple weeks to a month. You said you're not an outdoorsy sort of person and to be honest neither am I. I just think that we spend so much time playing games that we neglect to get out into the world. We are also very self conscious so when we do outdoors stuff we think "I look so weird/stupid doing this" "Everyone is probably looking at me and thinking I'm a creep" just because we aren't very skilled. I'm gonna give you a bit of knowledge that I finally realized after wayyy too long. Nah, nobody cares about you. Yeah, they might give you a weird look or maybe have a passing thought that you're a bit strange but that's actually a RARE occurrence. Maybe 1 in 10-20 people will actually acknowledge your existence in their minds to have a thought about you and maybe 1 in 1000 will actually interact with you, even more rare, maybe 1 in 20000 will appear in your life again. You're older than I am so you probably know even better than I do that what you did in high school didn't really matter. Going on trips and the things you do on those trips, how you look to other strangers on those trips, is basically just the same thing as high school. You'll never see them again, just be yourself. Really, now that I think about it, the biggest advice I could give to you is to learn who YOU are and to accept that sure, you could change stuff if you really wanted to, but there's not much you can do to change who YOU are.
That might make you a bit depressed because you're probably like I was and have low self-esteem, you immediately think about what YOU think your "bad characteristics" are and how you're "stuck" with them. If you want my honest, uncensored, not trying to make you feel better in any way, just brutal opinion?
You look like a pretty average dude (if not slightly better than the average 31 year old honestly speaking) you think you're too short but honestly you have a pretty good height (5'5" 5'6" feels like we're short but it's not terrible really, we can sit in any seat, clothes actually fit us, we won't have early onset back pain just because we are super tall, we aren't 4'6" so it's not like we can't ride amusement park rides or wear adult clothing. It's just a comfortable height to be once you get past having to look up at a portion of the human population((If you think about it that way it kinda feels stupid to worry about height at all lol)). Sure we THINK girls care a lot about height, but I've talked to a lot of girls in uni and the main thing I've learned is they can pretty much decide if they are attracted to you ((the girls worth a damn at least, life lesson: ignore the opinions of people who just want to start trouble or always seem to find themselves surrounded by it)) so it doesn't really matter if you're 5'6" or 6'6".) You have a pleasant personality that comes across as genuine and kind (this isn't all that common so you should be proud of this). If you want to get better at holding a conversation with others or girls specifically, just find a reason in your surroundings to start talking to them (the weather is nice/bad, they dropped something so try and pick it up for them ((even if they are going to pick it up too, yea it's awkward but it's a guaranteed convo starter)), they are wearing something related to something pop culture that you know, etc.) and then give them a turn to speak. Just hold eye contact a fair bit and be a good listener. Most people like it when others are interested in what they have to say, since we don't get out much, everything other people say is interesting to us so it's not like we're being manipulative or a bad person for trying to talk to them. Once someone talks a bit to you, it's easier to talk to them and then you're less likely to feel like you're saying something creepy because at that point you're just having a conversationg about your lives or something interesting to you.
Overall and silly things aside, we should be grateful for the things we have because it can DEFINITELY get worse for us lol. However, we should still find things that we feel like we lack, analyze them critically to see if it's just 'grass is greener on the other side' or if it's something we may genuinely be better with having in our lives. Chin up brother, we still have many decades ahead of us, and cmon, even if we never get a girlfriend, we've always got each other.
Thanks for sharing. I'm a 41yo virgin but I've come to view it as a blessing in disguise now.
I think you look fine and seem like a nice guy so I think you could get a girlfriend if you wanted. Though I think you have to play mother natures game, which means, giving women what they want, which I believe is security for their future children. So making enough money to support a family is important, then becoming the type of person who can make a woman feel secure, so hitting the gym and trying to become socially more confident might help, though it's not vital and I don't think you're miles away. Then just getting out there and meeting lots of women and not taking rejection personal.
That'd be my advice, though personally I think you're better off single anyway. Modern romance seems very complicated nowadays. Women don't need men anymore, so the power dynamics have shifted. At least, making your peace with being single might be a good first step, then you could treat romance as a bonus if it happens.
But that's just my opinion. Thanks for being honest. Good luck!
Bro don’t give up. I learned how to date by improving my social skills. As I improved my social skills my dating life improved. The key is to not get too attached to results and have fun.
you're calm, no one is bothering you, you have peace.. something people would pay trillions to have.. start there..
Im 30 never had a girlfriend only had sex once
Let the blackpill guide you
What gave me the most confidence is >READING
good advice. people don't read as much these days. far more enriching for your brain than watching youtube videos or listening to a podcast.
Please keep your head up! Life is hard and unfortunately it only gets harder.
I feel your pain, man. I have been 16 years single. I'm kind of accepting my fate. I don't think I will ever get another relationship.
Big advocate for the gym. Main benefit I've had from it is gaining confidence in your body and self, being around strangers. Second benefit is for your health. Both incredible confidence boosters.
Last thing to mention is go travelling! Re-invent yourself. Stay in hostels.
All the best mate.
Don't stay in hostels unless you want to get robbed or molested.
Change of environment could help for sure
YES TO THIS COMMENT 🤝
Thank you for making this video. I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability here. I am 31yo female and never had real relationship. (I got screwed over by online guys - mostly narcissists which damaged me mentally even more). I noticed that in my life I never had "luck" on love (?) Idk how to call it. My disadvantage is that I am fat with low selfesteem. But then u see outside women and also men, who are more fat and uglier than you and yet they still have gf/bf. I don't know why life is so cruel. I even cried because I never get to experience the teenage love. It is so unfair that things which are for majority totally natural part of life, are for us unreachable. My whole life I was into self development books. I tried positive affirmations, mirror excercise, self love and still I had no one!
The closest I got was when I was talking online with some guy from neighbor country. The relationship didn't even start and he already betrayed my trust. Its like "Ugh!" If he didnt betray, we could have had relationship. Then on highschool, one boy liked me but I didnt like him in that time. Months later, I started to like him, but at that time he didnt like me anymore. Later on, my classmate liked me, but at the same time he also liked another girl. (The same for the guy who betrayed - he also had another woman in his heart).
I am just so sad that even when someone liked me, I was never their No.1 - the only one. And I tried before gym too. I just feel like cursed. And whats worse, I feel chemistry only with the bad guys - fake one, narcissists. Who aren't capable to truly love someone. So even when I had some online situationships - it was never real love. We never met. Only being used and emotionally abused by some online jerks = that sucks even more. I also lost some friends due to being introvert and being more indoor. I just love to have peace and play games, and stay home. In my depressed era, I was able to not go outside for several years. And I didnt even miss it. But from time to time I feel very lonely, or when something bad happens - like someone is rude to me, I need to vent to someone. I have now only 1 irl good friend. And even having this friend didn't drag me out. I canceled many plans. Then a few weeks ago I saw video about one lonely man who said that he also likes to just play video games and have his peace, so he doesn't go out when friends are calling him. But then he realized, what if he was doing this for years? Where he would be in 10 years if he keeps doing this same thing - staying home, playing games and refusing to go outside meet with friends. And this was kind of eyeopener for me. I tried to at least find friends (if not love) online. But it looks like that even this plan crushed. I feel like nobody sticks with me, only fake people or narcissists. But thats my personal issue. I don't know what can be the cause for you. Also nowadays it hit me even harder that probably my childhood emotional neglect is causing me to be unlovable for other people. It was said that our partners are mirroring the love we got from our parents. And I was never truly loved by anyone. :( Do you have option to save up money and try therapist? Maybe it would help at least a little bit. And please, don't apologize for being negative or thinking this is about your self pity. I also felt the same. Sometimes I still feel. I think we deserve better. But one thing surprised me. You said, you are not good person. Why do you think that?
I have had feeling very down for the fact that I`m 20 years old and have never had girlfriend! I was always comparing myself to others people at my age who already have tons of experiences and feel angry, sad and confused about this.
But I released and I know it`s true that you don`t need someone else into your life to be happy (girlfriend, wife or friends). Of course this doesn`t mean that you shouldn`t have friends or wife and children, but simply to realize that they are just one of the things that can give you happiness in life and if you are unable to have it then you can find happiness in other things in life. Loneliness is feeling not a real thing.
why don’t you just get a girlfriend then
@@Samuel-vw2wy Because if you have a girlfriend only for pleasure then it`s just waste of time and money. Also I want to improve now, not wasting time on women
Cope
@@teodortodorov1662 why do you want to improve
Loneliness is a real thing for many people on this planet. I'm genuinely happy for you that you do not feel the need to be loved romantically, but this is not the case for the majority of the world population.
You should try going to the gym more often, even tho it's kinda scary in the beginning. Being short is an advantage when it comes to building muscle
I hope all good men out there find the woman they deserve.
I feel you, King. You tried a lot and finding a relationship is not something you can build up to, it just happens or doesn't. I've heard others say "work on it!" and things like this. That only has meaning in their own head, in reality you cant work on finding a woman. It is just simply impossible if a set of circumstances outside of your control aren't aligned.
Please know I have so much love for you, and love will find its way to you when you least expect it. You are not ugly, you are not a bad person and you are not unlovable. You are important, brave and more than enough
Why don't you date him then?
@@Reeeeeee12345 I'm married and waaay to old for this lovely guy anyways. But if I can offer anyone some encouragement, I am more than happy to do so! His love story is out there waiting for him
@@linnblom3640 Typical response.
@@Reeeeeee12345There is no fault in treating others with kindness and consideration
@@linnblom3640 Unfortunately, love stories happen less and less the more you age. There is a young women hypergamy problem, and over 35 a "older single women VS older single men who could not build relational maturity when young because of young women hypergamy" problem which has been steadily rising since 2008.
It's important to treat others with kindness and consideration, but it is also important to not give people false hope like love would be a magical thing that happens to everyone sooner or later. The % of men who go loveless their entire life is rising, and not surprisingly it's much higher in disabled men, men with no diplomas, and men in lower socio-economic classes (while this is not the case for women).
I've had sooooo many girls tell me I'm ugly... yet I still managed to be with very attractive girls. No normal person would go out their way to tell you , that you're ugly, EVEN if you was(You're bloody not!). There is no reason for it, just like you wouldn't walk upto someone "Hey just to remind you, you're over weight... that'll be all, ta ra"
There are some nasty bad people around, bullies and people who are down on themselves, I know you are down on yourself and not like that, but everyone handles it different, you remained lovely, they didn't.
I am 23 and feel like a younger version of you. I am 5"7 and in USA it's brutal. Jesus!
im 36 next month 5ft 1 and far from in shape but i had a few sounds silly but if ya out looking people can tell and it puts them off.... each of my relationships have always come when im not even thinking about it... dating apps are horrible avoid like the plague and just try and join things you enjoy and go from there (i met my ex streaming and mutual invited her to join a game)
I'm 26 and been in one relationship which wasn't great if I'm honest because i dealt with a lot of psychological abuse throughout. I was also brought up in a strict religious family so wasn't encouraged to even have relationships with anyone that wasn't from the same religion and this (along with my shyness and introverted personality) has made it incredibly difficult for me to pursue romantic relationships throughout my adult life which is frustrating because i personally believe that the best time to learn how to behave around a girlfriend is during your late teen years because there's no expectations for you to be fully mature and you're far less likely to be expected to commit anything long term. Short term relationships when you're young teach you valuable life lessons so a committed long term relationship becomes far easier when you reach adulthood.
Sorry this comment is so long but I wanted to express a few personal feelings I have regarding how to best have a healthy romantic adult relationship but then this is coming from a guy whose only had one experience with a girl so I'm no expert.
get ifs therapy and one date by chase amante
you and me both growing up religious as only being allowed to date within. on top of the introvertness and people thinking I'm weird 1st girlfriend scared me mentally and my insecurities disturbed my 2nd so being 27 now its like who in the world will i meet but i guess it is what it is.
7:43
I’ve totally been there. They feel really bold about doing it because that’s all they really value and they know that they can get away with this act of cruelty.
34 and never had a boyfriend, never been in love.
Still lost my virginity because I wanted to.
At this point I'm a bit of an incel; I know it's different for females but still.
i know you just wanted to do this video and let your thoughts out and i support that. i wish you best and i hope you find her......
as i am in introvert too , my advice for you would be , try just chatting first . no face, better with someone who shares your interest , and just keep it rolling , start being friends first, dont think about relationship yet , Just talk and see if the sparks comes .
Life is tough: some of us are male yet too feminine and fragile looking or female yet too masculine and strong looking. Good luck in your life.
😂😂😂😂😂 life will end pretty soon it just a matter of time
Honestly the only way is switching location, even if temporary. You'll have luck in countries where being from the UK is a cool thing by itself.
YOU ARE PERFECT AS YOU ARE!
Man this life shit be tuff
Im a 6/10 body, and 4/10 face guy, 35yo, pretty poor, moms hotel till 29 etc. Had 6 serious relationships, around 10 "kinda" girlfriends, and circa 40 hookup. Nothing is impossible!
honestly, i know i can get a girlfriend fairly eisily, but what keeps me back is the belief that if a woman doesnt add peace to my life, she isnt worth it. And while ive met some pretty great women, and ive even dated and been with them, most women today arnt worth it. They cannot bring a partner peace, because they themselves arnt at peace.
Hey dude! Can tell this video took some cojones to make for you, so you should be proud of yourself.
So first off, you have anxiety. I can see it in how tight your shoulders are, your talking patterns and the self doubt that creeps in at the very start. Give your GP a call and just talk about starting a conversation about anxiety. It comes with the social awkwardness and if you get it under control like I have...dude you will flourish.
I don't do well on dating apps either, it's a toxic quagmire. I think you'd have way more success meeting people in person doing hobbies and that kind of thing. Gym can be a great place to meet people, but meeting women there is a bit dicey but there's all kinds of people you can meet there.
You're not a bad looking dude and women who care will not care about your height. I don't know how you dress outside of your house, but based on your t-shirt you might want to revisit the wardrobe. If you get some new, non-ratty stuff that fits you and suits you well with the cut of the fabric and appearance it'll make you POP. I think the first step would be to do the work on yourself first and be happy with where you are on your own - being single can be lonely at times, but being secure with yourself in the life you have before you add someone else into it can be a long road but I believe in you!
Get out there. Fake it 'til you make it. The first step is hard. I know, I had to take it too. You've got a bit of a road ahead but from this video you seem like a sound dude and if we lived nearby I'd absolutely grab a beer with you. You got this!
You can't just hope for change you have to put the effort in and make things happen
Go to Southeast Asia…man…seriously.
Look, I have Asperger’s, but I joined the Navy at 19 and wasn’t diagnosed until I was 28…but I lived in Japan and traveled around Asia.
You can find a girlfriend abroad…plus you’ll be out of your comfort zone.
You are not ugly. You have your hair and from the looks of it, your original teeth, so you have more than a lot right there. Part of it is confidence but part of it is setting your expectations. You will find someone but you have to put yourself out there and meet people. You also have to realize you aren't likely to find someone that looks like a model and most of us aren't so there's nothing wrong with that.
Hit of reality as someone whos got no issue with getting girls but just cant stand the "emotional responsability" of having todeal with someone else's emotional trauma and neccessities, let me tell ya, you're better alone, I'm back to being single and I'm living the life, go out with my friends, gaming nights, talk to girls now and then but not going to the next levels ever again, life is good
You seem like a great bloke mate - chin up, and know you are worthwhile. I dealt with shyness and confidence issues in my younger years so I feel you - but things can get better!
no they don't
@@kymypynot with that attitude. Negativity is a self fulfilling prophecy and it’s sure as hell going to stay if you leave the door open. You need to reframe your mind mate because an attitude like that is getting you absolutely nowhere
@@avocadeous
"just reframe your mind bro"
@@kymypy or just stay in the cycle. If you want to wallow in misery and self pity I’m not going to stop you.
@@avocadeousYeah, I have noticed that there is a lot of self-pity and anger in these comment sections. You’re right, an attitude adjustment would go a long way, but it is easier to just blame the world.
Confidence means nothing if you don't mog your environment with either looks or social status which is very hard to do for anxious men.
I don't know if this will be any help but I've found that the best way to meet people and make friends/ partners is via shared hobbies and groups that cater for them. So if someone likes comic books join a club or society online and see if they have meet ups or suggest a meet up event or even organise yourself! And that can be for any interest you have or can imagine yourself liking. There are groups for everything these days. I met most of my girlfriends before my current wife via being a member of a political party and community groups. Honestly it is far easier when you automatically have an interest or ideology in common as it gives you something to talk about out of the gate. Give it a try!
This is so true. I met my wife on POF when I was 19. I had some stupid South Park quote as my title as I wanted to see if anyone would get it. After about month, she messaged me with the next line.
Been together 12 years.
People love to share their passions with others, it’s a great place to start.
I came here to pretty much write this but you’ve done a great job already :)
I‘m also 31 and never had a girlfriend … oh wait, I‘m gay!
😒
are you SUUUURE???!
My take away is that you need someone to go along with you to these things that can help you. Whether that's someone to workout with you, someone to introduce you to new people at pubs, night clubs and other social events. Your height may not help but not every woman looks for 6'2 in every partner. You're not a bad looking guy at all. I wish you all the best
The rest look for 6'5" minimum, but will settle for a 6'1" model.
I feel ya bro.
Ah yes as a 19 year old who has never had a gf I can confidently say I’m probably gonna head here 💀
You're still quite young mate so I'm confident things will turn around for you! Got my fingers crossed for ya 🤞
@@TinyBitBrit thanks
37, one disastrous LDR from 25-28. Depression over being single at 30. Did a lot of therapy and healing and at 37 I am comfortable being single. I would be lying if I said being single didn't have it's perks. ADHD and school have put me through the damn ringer, so I do not have the headspace for a relationship even if I wanted one right now.
I love your honesty man. God has someone for you! Praying you get your dream companion! I’m 31 as well and can totally relate the older I get the more I realise ughhhhhhhhh it’s so hard. Bro you are not an ugly dude. Your average looking
Youre not a bad looking dude. Get your style up, lose weight, build muscle, do all the self improvement you can. This is in your hands man. You can improve and get what you want.
Hey, keep your head up and remember it’s absolutely never too late to find love.
Focus on what you can control. Do you work? An absolutely massive percentage of married people meet their partner at or through their work. I think it’s nearly 50%. It’s a great way to meet people organically, where things can happen spontaneously and you and others learn about each other, which can go further.
Regarding your height, I’d maybe try wearing shoes which bring your height up more? Or soles? I feel different heights in different shoes. As long as you’re not wearing high heels, no one will think you’re catfishing or anything and it would give you more confidence for sure.
And driving. I know lots of people find it very nerve wracking, but I have a friend who has big anxiety problems (who happens to face quite similar challenges to you based on what you’ve said) who has managed it and now he’s driving confidently and comfortably. Driving is a game changer, when I started driving, even though I’m not a car guy at all, it made me feel better in many ways.
You’re good looking and you have a genuine personality, so you definitely have potential if you do those other things. I think if you focus on yourself, really put the work in and think - right, I’m gonna start today, then you’ll feel better about yourself and honestly a relationship will come along without you even looking for it.
Take care.
Hey man, as long as you're happy. Dont find a woman just because you think that's what should happen. Only if you want that in your life.
I was 23 when I had my first girlfriend. I was really happy before that, i just "thought" that's what i needed to because normal life 🤷♂️
By 25 we'd had a child. By 27 she'd cheated on me twice and fell pregnant again.
DNA test showed he was mine, we tried to stay together for the kids....she cheated again.
By 29, I had a new girlfriend, we had a kid when i was 32 and she changed drastically. At least once a year i had to stay at my parents for a couple of months. Life was a real rollercoaster of emotions.
Cut to last year (41 y/o). I've finally had enough, moved out, got my own place and saying single forever now. I'm finally happy again.
There were a couple of happy times in there but it's overshadowed by the hurt and misery.
My point is, if you're happy, good for you man. Nobody needs a girlfriend.
I do not trust most humans enough, especially most women, to even think of marrying them without having lived with them for at least 5 years. So having children... urrrh.
Given I'm now 35, it's a big no for me. I need a VERY long time to trust people IRL now, I'm no longer willing to potentially sabotage my life for women who can betray you at the worst time for their personal benefit even after several years of living under the same roof.
I'm also 31 and have never had a girlfriend
I think what's best for you is to put your feelings regarding your virginity or lack of a girlfriend aside and just try and meet people in general. Women are people just like you and me, and just focusing on making meaningful connections with people regardless of gender will make you feel better. Even if just over the internet, find people with similar interests and get to know them, don't focus so much on whether they're an option as a girlfriend or not.
Yep, you're right. We often forget that girls are just people with their own lives, families, wants, needs, feelings, and insecurities. It's best to just find friends to hang out with and not worry too much about finding a girlfriend. Oftentimes the emotional connection you feel with the boys is just as fulfilling as the connection with a girlfriend.
I wish it was that easy.
@@user-er8kz2jg6o It really is. Society has conditioned men to see women as other, and has conditioned many women to think of themselves as lesser as well. It's a poison to society and of the mind, and it's caused harm to lonely and autistic or socially challenged individuals who haven't figured out how to maneuver around and see past that which permeates the poison
I see people recommending the gym, it helps but it won't get you a girlfriend and turn you into a chick magnet, women care more about confidence and status. I consider myself good looking and a gymrat and practice skateboarding but I'm not confident or charismatic or have a good paying job. I'm 31 year old and never had a girlfriend, some guys are just not chosen by women.
Yea lmao the gym is good advice to be more confident in yourself and help deal with the loneliness.
This is so extremely vulnerable. It seems that you sense a lack of community. You mention not having many friends and I don’t know what your family is like, but there is all kinds of love in this world that make us feel less lonely. You talk about having an emotional connection and spending your days with this “person”, but there are so many different types of people you can have an emotional connection with and many people who can be in your lives as long as you want them to be. You might even meet your person by building community. I know that you are an introvert, but make the gesture to do what your friends/family want to do and develop a closer bond. I think everyone in the world craves love/care and we can find them in so many different ways.
Im 41 . I suffer for social anxiety and anorexia , all my life I have been isolated , have only few friends , I never had a serious long term relationship , Im afraid of sex , Im afraid of men , I even have no experience and I would not go to bed with bf , 41 with small experience , what I have been doing all my life ? Isolated. Im sick all my life . I would like to meet a new friends .
Im a loser
I'm jealous. you're taller than I am. I'm 26 and never had a girlfriend either. I missed my opportunity when I was young because I was too scared to ask a girl out and get rejected. I tried when I was 19, but I couldn't get any woman to go on a date with me. now I'm just too old to even try.
You are still young at 26 tho. I am a guy who turned 23 last month(on 22nd December) and never had a girlfriend before. I went on my first ever date 4 months ago at the age of 22. She was 19(turned 20 few days ago) and we went to the mall, ate in Mcdonalds there and got my first hug from a girl but still yet to get my first kiss and I was pulling her cheeks a lot as she was cute. But 2 weeks after the date she became toxic and mean to me and blocked me on all social media. She basically used me for free lunch and to take lots of pics of her so she can post them on social media. I also have massive crush on this another girl for the past 6 months where I go for some classes to prepare for exams to get into an MBA B School as I just graduated college about 6 months ago and going to study MBA next. She also turned 23 just over a week ago. She has even called me cute several times and I pulled her cheeks too but I am shy near women in person so she is the one who initiates conversation with me. Few months ago I gave her a chocolate too but I often see her with her male friends so I get worried whether I have chance with her or not.
3 months ago, I went out with this another girl in the same class who is also 23 but so far we are just friends. We just roamed around the city and had lunch in a big restaurant and I pulled her cheeks a bit too when we took selfie but was shy to ask for a hug. It was a fun day and we might go out again probably next month. I also have been following some girls on Instagram who are in the 21-25 age range from the same institute but different classrooms and messaged few of them and had been chatting with 2 or 3 of them who are also about 22 and 23 year olds. Since July 2023, I also have been chatting with another girl on Instagram who is 19(turning 20 in April). We were in the same school but didn't know each other in school days so we only have been knowing each other for 6 months. We also send each other virtual hugs and she is very sweet and we have many things in common like we are both foodies, like similar types of movies and many more and we plan to meet up to eat somewhere very soon too but in the end I am still single.
@@manosijroy8282 I'm telling you it just isn't possible for me to get a girlfriend. none of them share my beliefs and even if they did, I'm just not good at talking to people.
try game transformation by Austen Summers
@@Samuel-vw2wy I said I'm too old now. there is no undoing that.
@@brandonking5111 Austen said he got success for 55 year olds, 26 isn’t too old.
I would say the is a point when it will stop bothering you that much, and after that you'll see it more as advantage to stay single and free. For me I think it was around 35. The main point is to find something in your life that you passionate about
I never even considered being an “ugly” guy. In fact my family always told me I was good looking. for some reason I never seem to get any attention. I feel like there are other guys that look worse and even talk less than I do who do better. I do have aspergers so I’m wondering if there is just subconscious things I’m doing that are just pushing people away. Maybe nowadays dating is just non existent because that’s the vibe I get. I don’t even feel like this is a climate where dating is encouraged tbh. I’m in gen z and I don’t see a lot of couple anyways. I hope this helps you not take it as personally.
Same, having aspergers doesn't help. 😢
25, same
just know that everyone has a different "type". almost all of my girl friends have extremely different preferences when it comes to a man's looks or personality. just because you think some qualities aren't working in your favor, it doesn't mean every girl believes so. i don't really feel like i'm fit to give you any advice, but if i could, go out and do things that you've always wanted to do, big or small, find some enjoyment in life again. if you happen to meet a girl along the way, yay! but if not, you've made your life your own. don't give up! find joy in solitude!
You your girlfriend's types: "taller than me, stronger than me, smarter than me, makes more money than me, better than me."
@@ASPEDBUSDRIVER13 of the 5 things you listed are in your control. Stronger? Hit the gym. Smarter? Do some reading or go back to uni/college. More money? Well you can work hard and get promotions.
Sure there’s some more nuance to it, but it’s not like there’s absolutely no way of changing a situation like that.
@@avocadeous of course. To an extent, all in your control. The point I'm trying to make is let's stop pretending hypergamy doesn't exist/isn't real and let's stop using euphemisms for it. Hypergamy shouldn't be shamed. And women shouldn't even be shamed for their nature. The people who should be shamed are the ones pretending it isn't real and gaslighting us. Stop telling men, "it's because women like confidence and all of those things make you more confident and your confidence is what makes you attractive." Start telling men, "women are attracted to tall/strong men who can provide because it's in their nature biologically." A lot less men would be confused/angry and bitter if we're honest with them when they're younger. Because if they're born unlucky genetically, (maybe they're not tall, maybe autistic, ect,) then they won't be confused when they grow up and they'll understand they might have to put more concentrated effort in other areas they CAN control compared to other guys to attract women. Because THOSE men CAN be confident, but when they're less attractive for other reasons, they'll be told they're arrogant and THATS their problem. You see what I'm saying?
@@ASPEDBUSDRIVER1 I suppose another solution is to go even further back than that. Tell people from a young age that not everyone gets into relationships and that it is okay. The system that we’re in right now tells us that everyone gets into relationships and that everyone finds a partner which simply isn’t true. Some people, for one reason or another, never find that second person and they feel left out because we’re constantly told that we SHOULD be in these relationships because that’s how it’s always been. If we de emphasise relationships, a lot of the people feeling miserable about not being in relationships will have an easier time accepting themselves, which will lead to them finding joy in solitude. I do get what you are saying, though I am surprised that there are people that completely ignore hypergamy. All it takes is two eyes to see that it exists and denial gets them nowhere. My “work on yourself” argument comes from the idea that you can boost your perceived status by earning more money or hitting the gym more often, but I won’t deny that good genetics makes all of that easier.
Face the hard truth and level up, use your pain as motivation
This is my son's situation. Same age too. I would like to ease your mind. My son seems to be contented. If he meets a great woman, then he meets a great woman. If he doesn't then he doesn't. It's his life story not mine. I really don't have anything to criticize him about.
Damn. I am 8 years younger than your son(if he is 31) and feel as if i am running out of time. I am a guy who turned 23 last month(on 22nd December) and never had a girlfriend before. I went on my first ever date 4 months ago at the age of 22. She was 19(turned 20 few days ago) and we went to the mall, ate in Mcdonalds there and got my first hug from a girl but still yet to get my first kiss and I was pulling her cheeks a lot as she was cute. But 2 weeks after the date she became toxic and mean to me and blocked me on all social media. She basically used me for free lunch and to take lots of pics of her so she can post them on social media. I also have massive crush on this another girl for the past 6 months where I go for some classes to prepare for exams to get into an MBA B School as I just graduated college about 6 months ago and going to study MBA next. She also turned 23 just over a week ago. She has even called me cute several times and I pulled her cheeks too but I am shy near women in person so she is the one who initiates conversation with me. Few months ago I gave her a chocolate too but I often see her with her male friends so I get worried whether I have chance with her or not.
3 months ago, I went out with this another girl in the same class who is also 23 but so far we are just friends. We just roamed around the city and had lunch in a big restaurant and I pulled her cheeks a bit too when we took selfie but was shy to ask for a hug. It was a fun day and we might go out again probably next month. I also have been following some girls on Instagram who are in the 21-25 age range from the same institute but different classrooms and messaged few of them and had been chatting with 2 or 3 of them who are also about 22 and 23 year olds. Since July 2023, I also have been chatting with another girl on Instagram who is 19(turning 20 in April). We were in the same school but didn't know each other in school days so we only have been knowing each other for 6 months. We also send each other virtual hugs and she is very sweet and we have many things in common like we are both foodies, like similar types of movies and many more and we plan to meet up to eat somewhere very soon too but in the end I am still single.
Your son is miserable and doesn't want to burden you with knowing that. And if he's awkward..YOU screwed up somewhere, (and it's an uncomfortable thing for you to confront. ) It's a lot easier to tell yourself and others: "my son seems content," isnt it?
@@ASPEDBUSDRIVER1Btch roastee mommy is coping hard
Unless hes gay, he definitely wants a girlfriend badly
@@Evanwheatley4d953mom knows this and she knows the damage is already done
are you really 31 year old ???
Be confident. You’re not ugly dude, you just seem insecure. There are a lot of women out there for you but never try so hard in attracting them, that is the opposite of what attracts them. Also maybe try to go out of your comfort zone in your standards, what may seem as unattractive to you visually could change once you get to know someone
"be confident bro, be secure bro, try less hard bro, do the opposite bro, get out of your comfort zone bro"
@@kymypyyup, that's the equivalent of telling depressed people "just be happy bro"
Theres also a website called Meetup to meet new friends. I dont know if they have it in England, or whetever yer from.
Also in Thailand you ll definitely meet new friends who are Westerners on vacation too.
Thailand is very affordable. You can live there in a hotel and everything should cost about 800$ per month U.S. money. Tbe plane ticket is the expensive part
I can relate. Im 29
You need to learn to "Act as if" ... You do have the personality, this video shows it, the confidence it takes to put this honest of a video up for billions to see takes huge balls buddy. You just need to redirect your attention and energy. If you can look up the movie "Boiler Room" there is a lot of lessons that can be learned from it. One other thing is stop consuming current media, go back and watch media from the 70's-90's something happen in the early 2000's that started a trend of weak, submissive men. I also hate to say it that you do have to change aspects of your life that were important that may actually be stunting your growth.
You just haven’t met your people yet. Find a hobby you are passionate about, and you can maybe find someone you connect with that way. ❤
hit the gym even if you dont wanna hit the gym thats good for you in areas far more important than women - to do things you dont want to do.
I don't get it. You are thoughtful and good at communicating. You aren't unattractive and you aren't obese. If you had 20 girlfriends by this point in life, you'd probably be on youtube saying women are insane and you just want to be single. Life is just different degrees of frustrating circumstances.
My hearts breaking for you man, my advice is to go to church regualrly, find one with a lot of women, being a regular in a community will lower womens higher standards
Yeah I'm 24 and I never had a girlfriend too. 😢 Nor dated and I sill live with my parents.
Hi. Let's start with the fact that my English skills are not good enough, so I translate using Google. I hope you will understand something from this. I come from Poland and I'm 33 years old and I've never had a girlfriend, although I look like a Greek half-God if it makes you feel better and I'm quite tall. I'm also an introvert and I don't drive. I also stay alone and without anyone. I know a certain GROM special forces operator who is also as tall as you. However, it looks really good. It's a matter of training and getting fit, you can exercise at home, at any exercise facility, anywhere. Where can you find some pull-up bars and a place to do push-ups. I used to go out everywhere, hoping to meet someone, and I've been doing that for years. However, I ended up going to places where I can exercise and I didn't meet anyone, but I got super fit and I still do it. I recommend it, best regards. Hang in there buddy and stay strong, we're all in this together and you could say we're all on the same rickety ship.
Bro, it's easy to get one. Realize that you'll have to go through multiple rejections to get one of them. Not all of them are the same and not all of them have the same taste of men.
Ask yourself, what do women like? And then ask yourself, out of these things, what can I improve?
But at the end of the day, improving yourself will take you halfway to the goal, the other half is learning to connect and socialize based on what they like, how they live, and what is fun for them.
Do not express feelings too early when connecting, make them wait a little when giving it to them. They crave this aspect and the more you give it, the less it will mean when you say it often.
Fill your day with plans outside of your house, this aspect is key when trying to find someone. If you go for a hike somewhere cool, or if you go shopping, go this place or that place it will make them think that you are self-sufficient and will possibly make them want to join you in your activities.
Dont pass up an opportunity to let them join you, you will get a girl you just have to be where they are. Get good at finding places where you can talk to them.
i think you just need to take little steps to build your confidence! you are not unattractive and once you believe this others will see this too. put yourself out of your comfort zone and try new things - whether is it going on a hike or just random things that you wouldn’t normally do will make you feel so proud of yourself and build up your self esteem.
I turn 30 bro same situation as you never had a girlfriend before but had a few one night stand it’s so overrated
It seemed like I had a chance back when I was 18, I waited too long and missed it, didn't know how to use it.
I saw the writting on the wall right then and there
Now I'm 58 and nothing has changed, I never had a girl.
Rarely gets to me these days tho.
Why do you think you've never had a gf?
@@jessicavega8322 i don't know it's like I always discusted them
@@Ross72A I'm 21 years old and I've never had a relationship either and I think it's ok, maybe you should try meeting people out there.
@@jessicavega8322 at this point it's too late feller
And I have friends, I'm not alone
Women hate me
@@Ross72A It's never late to find love, the one who is limiting is you, why do you think women hate you?
If you are ugly then I'm a monster and I had relationships with beautiful (at least in my view) women before.
But most of them were the toxic type who didn't see me as their equal and so we eventually seperated ways.
What I want to say: If you aren't the type of guy women really want then you will most likely end up with the crazy type of woman. (who had like you don't really even wanna know how many men before you and before she gave you a chance)
I’m 5’6” and I’ve been laid more times than I can count. And by hot women too. Not a skag in the bunch. I was shacked up with my girlfriend when I was 14. Only getting married (when I was 30) brought my adventures to an end. I guess life is just unfair. Women know when you are experienced. They can smell it, as if you’ve been sprayed with some pheromone.
To be brutally honest with you bro. Almost everything that comes out of your mouth is cope. Aside from your height which you cannot fix, A lot of the other things you say surely can be. You say you're not good socially but you don't put yourself out there enough to overcome that. You say you don't like going to the gym because it makes you "uncomfortable, but that's the point. Instead of really looking to change the things about you that are unattractive you just accept them and remain lonely and unhappy. You either have to face these things head on NOW or remain this way for the rest of your life. Choice is yours, just don't act helpless because your not. Commit to change or accept your fate
Define to me what “putting yourself out there” means
I feel ya brother. 5’4 but I round up. My escape is black desert online without it I know I’d be feeling real lonely
"I wish I had the answers!"
Here are the answers:
-Most people are not tall.
-Most people don't have a lot of money.
-You can be happy without a relationship.
-Tons of people have had relationships, so it's not that rare or special to have one.
-Most people don't even like their partner.
There you go.
Self esteem is THE answer. You’re over complicating it, I’ve been there. Start spending more time understanding how to help improve your self esteem and even if the gym isn’t your thing, make it your thing. The gym was an absolute life saver for me.
If you keep doing the same thing, you will most likely get the same results. Go look in a different market, try the philippines if you want a wife or thailand if you want to have fun.
Grow a beard ,hit the gym,don’t act too happy around women,and you’ll crush it bro you can do this.
Do you really think you'd be happy if you found a girl? Because I know for a fact you wouldn't. I think you romanticize relationships to be something that they're not.
Let me tell you about my coworker who just two weeks ago broke down crying because his wife has a boyfriend and he can't even leave because she threatened to take the custody of kids, and here in Europe the wife gets the custody in 90+% of the cases, while Husband is forced to pay their schooling, healthcare and everything else for years. So he is basically a hostage in an unbearable situation.
What most inexperienced guys don't realize is that relationships are hell more often than not. Far more often.
Sure getting a girlfriend removes this awkward state where a man feels like he's a lesser human, but only thing making you lesser is yourself. Why not accept the fact you're not normal and run with it? Jesus Christ, there's so much more to life than finding a girl.
You'd feel much better about yourself if you climbed some of the tallest mountains, or hiked some of the longest hikes. Buy a ticket to New Zealand and cross the Te Araroa Trail. It will take 3 months to cross on foot, but at the end of it you'll realize there's far more to life than this tiny psychological box you're now in.
Same, 32 here, but to be fair I never out any real effort to. Porn is enough for me and honestly I just wanted the validation and have children, I can do alone fine for everything else. My zoloft killed my sexual desire for good so I guess that is a curse and a blessing at the same time.
I got my first gf at 14 years old
you just need to find a girl who is just as socially awkward as you
Woah buddy
The average height of women where I live is 5'2". If you can visit me in Latin America there is a very high likelihood that you would meet a woman who likes you as much as you like her. Lots of women in Latin America would like to date foreigners because the Machismo culture of Latinos encourages cheating, and the women don't like it. I am retired and I don't charge anything to assist men who just want what nature intended. It's astounding to me that most guys take dating advice from TH-camrs who are themselves older and single. I am blissfully married to a Latina whose primary goals are to have a happy family and a clean home. She is feminine and cooperative. We also have a lovely, well-behaved daughter. You can get what you want. You just need a new plan.