"This can only be completed by the complete victory of one company and the complete failure of all other companies" With this following right after the "Extensive hygiene measures" I can't get the picture out of my head that this entire conflict is just various corporate factions trying to gain a monopoly on selling soap products.
"Like rambo, the Orcs exterminate the Kronos, ignoring what others say, and wrecking the streets." From what little I know of 40K, that sounds accurate for Orks.
Well... I mean, one of the factions of infidels lives by rejection of hygiene as whole and two out of the remaining three have problems with it anyway..
„On Earth, the Emperor occupied Cronus to admire the Emperor” This overwhelming feeling of „so pointless” and „so useless” I get from this statement perfectly describes the Imperium of Man
This... is surprisingly on point with not only the campaigns proper, but also the tabletop universe in a nutshell. And boy, do I love the "admire the emperor part".
"They discovered that the planet was surrounded by aliens and infidels, and implemented extensive hygiene measures." Sounds about right for the Imperium.
"each of the seven armed forces in this world conflict refused to withdraw because they believed in the purpose of the withdrawl" - Adeptus Administratum
Pretty well actually. I started editing it in January after getting back Sony Vegas and rewritting a bit the old script, and so far about 2/3 of it is done
"This can only be completed by the complete victory of one company and the failures of all other companies" The Imperial Truth rewritten by Lorgar be like:
Eyeball Papercut „Imperial Guard stronghold cutscene where general Alexandee is giving his speech” „Enemies of the Imperium hear me: THE GENERAL SPACE CAN ALWAYS SUCCEED TO SUCCEED”
>this can only be completed by the complete city of one company and the complete failure of all the other companies. Not sure if Kronus 40k or 17th century India
"The Twelve Chairs," a famous Russian satirical novel written in 1928, featured the character whose entire vocabulary was limited to 30 words. You know what was the expression of the utmost approval and admiration coming from her? "Fat and beautiful." I would never have guessed that Warhammer and classical Russian satire were a match made in heaven.
@@Rudofaux Well I mean, when he was walking around though he built a continent sized palace and strode around in golden armour flanked by his sons, one of whom he designed to look like an angel. Also often depicted wearing golden laurels and/or a halo. I think it's fair to say he _may_ have an ego.
From all those "translated out of existance" videos, in which everything is a random nonsense, this here translation is realy accurate. Like: "On earth, emperor occupied Cronus to admire the emperor." Basically Imperium of Man in a nutshell. Not to mention the "most beautiul and fat army of the empire" :D
"And implemented extensive hygiene measures" I nearly spat out my drink, holy shit Why does this sound like something commander Boreale would say? Gotta love the memes :D
If the 9th edition Tau Codex comes out and I see "Latest X-Ray Shields" as a unit option, I'm not going to be happy, and neither will whoever has to use them.
"Ancient machines do their best to end their entire lives." - Tragic backstory of the Necrons in a nutshell
Same Necrons same
They are WEAK!
"I cannot self terminate."
@@ferrusmanus4013 Shut up!
If biotransference counts they already did it
LIKE RAMBO
SLY MARBO
Somehow, chapter master, that entire narrative is completely accurate.
@@far0145 *inhales* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Brother, you have arrived! Your holy presence is so great, only the Man-Emperor can rival it!
Can we get A Google Translate for Emperor text to speech Device. This Lore will feed the Fat Army
Orks = Rambo? Tau = Taoists? Chaos = Satan? Emperor admiring Himself? Still extremely accurate.
And don´t forget Space Marines as the most beautiful and fat army.
Necrons = Just wanna die.
So the Necrons are Living History that Want to Die?
@@Benthino well they are really old, so...
And do not forget for eldar, they stands online and has a mysterious design.
"Walk softly and carry a big soap"
- Captain Thule
AresErrantKnight There is just a connoisseur with a bottle of fairy washing up liquid
Sounds more like something what Oxiclenus, Sergeant of the Marines Immaculate would say
Especially if you put it inside a power-sock!
And behind him Slaanesh demons lie in wait for him to drop the soap
"Extensive hygiene measures" That's a really nice way of putting it.
That's just being a judge/TO at a gaming tournament, nothing new there.
"War is simply the galaxy's hygiene." -Alpharius
@@zanmaru139 have you heard of the Marines Immaculate
PURGE THE UNCLEAN!!!
Look there just aren't going to be many bacteria left on something after after you give it a promethium bath.
Necrons?
Doing their best.
Satan?
Climaxing.
Taoists?
X-raying.
Emperor?
Admiring Emperor.
Orks?
Rambo thugs.
Elda?
THE enemy.
The Navy?
Fat and beautiful.
Elda?
Has a mysterious design.
extensive hygiene measures
Laughed so hard on this comment XD
"Eldar is the enemy of living history"
Yes, that is completely true.
Sounds philosophical even
"It stands out online and has a mysterious design."
Somehow the Eldar became Necrons and the Necron had a description, that almost perfectly fits recent Eldar.
@@DISTurbedwaffle918 I'm so dead rn, it's too perfect
That's what I said!
From now on, all purging of aliens heretics and mutants should be referred to as 'extensive hygiene measures'.
Cleanse!
@@omganotherun PURGE!
i had trouble pointing the like button XD
gotta remember this when I'm playing stellaris as fanatic xenophobe
In the case of NURGLE its Actually True😋
"This can only be completed by the complete victory of one company and the complete failure of all other companies" With this following right after the "Extensive hygiene measures" I can't get the picture out of my head that this entire conflict is just various corporate factions trying to gain a monopoly on selling soap products.
MisterClean shall prevail !!!
Monohammer40k
Nah fam, it's competetiv, sexy, car washing!
Japanese Mega Corps at war 😎
Nicolas Buyens there is a captain with a squirt gun Andy a dreadnought with some soap and a power washer
0:55 Of course the Emperor would admire Himself...
To be fair, He was actually very much against admiration of himself.
Jetson George Canon yeah, Text To Speech is pretty megalomaniac
Of course, honoroublebattlebrother!!!
"like rambo the orcs exterminate the kronos ignoring what others say and wrecking the streets"
Not. Even. Wrong.
I can't read that and not laugh like a lunatic
😂😂
Literally nothing changed in that sentence.
Ah yes, the dreaded Taoist and their advanced X-ray shields, truly a force to be reckon with.
Clearly Lao Tzu wasn't properly translated into English if we got surprised by these lol
8th ed T'au in a nutshell.
No match for the Confucians and their melee fighting.
@@merrittanimation7721 If Confucians have great melee skills and Taoists have advanced X-ray shields, then what would Legalists have?
"Inquisitor, the world is already lost. I request your seal on the order to implement extensive hygiene measures."
"In the end, the Navy, the most beatiful and fat army in the empire."
Space Marine: I'AM NOT FAT... This is my armor...
"Like rambo, the Orcs exterminate the Kronos, ignoring what others say, and wrecking the streets."
From what little I know of 40K, that sounds accurate for Orks.
1:16 "Eldar is the enemy of living history"
*TRIGGERED.*
You are wrong sir its Elda.
Those goddamn aeldari
*this message was made by the necron gang*
"The navy, the most beautiful and fat army in the empire"
Pretty accurate description of the average captain of the imperial navy
They are the Emperors janitors, and they shall know no fear.
And they shall know no germs
@@cariboudesbois9289 For the Janitors are fear.
@@DusKnight7th the emperor and his personaly guard against the filth, the custodians
They are the Director's big cleansing birds, and they shall know no germ.
They shall know no filth.
Good proper laugh at this holy shit.
First Alfa posts TTS and now this masterpiece, my day is made.
As a Black Templar, I am proud to belong to the most loyal, beautiful and fat chapter of the Empire.
Gorging with my kin?
"The orks exterminate kronos, ignoring what others say, and wrecking the streets.": typical orks
You forgot the most important part : "like rambo"
@@aegis9292 pob some sneaky boyz or how they called
Think u meen ork komandoz
@@aegis9292 yeah dose
"implemented extreme hygiene measures"
that's a good euphemism for exterminatus
That is a good one!
To combat the aliens and infidels we must improve the hygiene standards of the universe.
Well... I mean, one of the factions of infidels lives by rejection of hygiene as whole and two out of the remaining three have problems with it anyway..
Super-Skrull feels the same way (at least in Marvel vs. Capcom 3, anyway) lol
Nurgle: *sweats nervously*
Corporate needs you to find the difference between the two intros.
Me: "they are the same intro."
"But there are plans to rebuild Satan's Land."
Idk how the voice actor can say that with a straight face XD
Best line in the entire video imo
„On Earth, the Emperor occupied Cronus to admire the Emperor”
This overwhelming feeling of „so pointless” and „so useless” I get from this statement perfectly describes the Imperium of Man
*_"Eldar is the enemy of living history"_* Seems about right.
*Elda
It stands out online, and has a mysterious design.
the necrons are living history confirmed
This... is surprisingly on point with not only the campaigns proper, but also the tabletop universe in a nutshell.
And boy, do I love the "admire the emperor part".
"They refused to withdraw because they believed in the purpose of the withdrawal"
I can't breath
"On Earth, the emperor conquored chronos to admire the emperor" "Hello emperor, i am emperor"
"They discovered that the planet was surrounded by aliens and infidels, and implemented extensive hygiene measures." Sounds about right for the Imperium.
Not if it's a hive world
Aliens and infidels sure hygiene not rlly
Goddamn I love the smell of Dawn of War memes in the morning
"This mansion has turned into a controversial battlefield."
I mean _looks at the burning ruins_ you're not wrong.
Out of all of these Google Translate videos, this one is somehow the most accurate to the source material.
Like, 99% spot on
HOW YOU DARE TO STILL BE ALIVE!!!
Ah yes, Satan, the 6th Chaos God.
And the Necrons are just very suicidal, poor fellows...
“The emperor occupied Cronus to admire the emperor” great crusade summed up in one sentence.
"This can be only completed by total complete victory of one company, and complete failure of all other companies"
Corporation Simulator 40.000
literally Offworld Trading Company
"each of the seven armed forces in this world conflict refused to withdraw because they believed in the purpose of the withdrawl" - Adeptus Administratum
It's terrifying how close this is to Actual lore.
"Outside of the deserts central sands, Ancient Machines do their best to end their entire lives" Why is this so accurate
By the emprah, initiate extensive hygiene measures
So how’s Behemoth part 3 coming along?
Pretty well actually. I started editing it in January after getting back Sony Vegas and rewritting a bit the old script, and so far about 2/3 of it is done
@@eliphas8200
I wanna believe you.
Should I?
@@alexgamer1556 He's a Word Bearer. You can trust him. What could possibly go wrong?
Eliphas i actually wasn’t expecting a reply, well good on you dude!
@@FanimusMaximus don't trust eliphas his a word bearer for emperor sake
"Earth Taoists"
Well he's not _entirely_ wrong...
the etherials would be pissed that you sent EARTH CASTE to do the Fire Casts job.
*"In the end, the Navy, the most beautiful and fat army in the empire."*
That is pretty spot-on actually.
orcs: maiming, killing, and burning every non ork they find
emperor: i sleep
orcs: ignoring what others say
emperor: ***REAL SHIT???***
"The most beautiful and fat army in the Empire."
That's a pretty accurate description of Space Marines i'd say.
Thicc Ravens: The most beautiful and fat army in the empire.
"the power of the evil spirit reaches it's climax". My lord Slaanesh?
I'd like your comment, but it's at the perfect number
0:59 Emprah damn it, I can already hear TTS Emperor commenting on his dashing good looks...while he still had skin, of course.
"This can only be completed by the complete victory of one company and the failures of all other companies" The Imperial Truth rewritten by Lorgar be like:
0:33 When Disney became honest
1:18 foreshadowing dawn of eldar ?
1:56 space capitalism !
Technically Disney is both 33 and 156
I didnt know that eldars hated history that much xD
They hate history because no one lets them forget they birthed a Chaos God.
the codex astartes names this manouver EXTENSIVE HYGINE MEASURES
WE SHALL DECEND UPON THE FOE WE SHALL CLEAN THE AND WE'LL LEAVE NONE UNWASHED!
Google translate knows 40k lore better than GW these days.
1:11 Because they. Were. There.
“The most beautiful and fat army of the empire”
I mean the space marines aren’t light at all
Couldn't that be ogryns?
They're fat and beautiful astartes are buff and meh
This sounds like a bad Chinese 40k knock-off
Warhammer 40,000: The Dawn Gathers - Backstroke of Kronus
Eyeball Papercut WarMallet 40,000
Eyeball Papercut „Imperial Guard stronghold cutscene where general Alexandee is giving his speech”
„Enemies of the Imperium hear me: THE GENERAL SPACE CAN ALWAYS SUCCEED TO SUCCEED”
@@Expax You haven't seen Star Wars: Backstroke of The West?
@@apollodiomedes203 BRUVA I EHM PINND ERE WITH LAUGHTER
“There are plans to rebuild Satan’s lands.” ...nice
>this can only be completed by the complete city of one company and the complete failure of all the other companies.
Not sure if Kronus 40k or 17th century India
"The Twelve Chairs," a famous Russian satirical novel written in 1928, featured the character whose entire vocabulary was limited to 30 words. You know what was the expression of the utmost approval and admiration coming from her?
"Fat and beautiful."
I would never have guessed that Warhammer and classical Russian satire were a match made in heaven.
I really love how accurate this is despite being completely off target
Crack headcanon: with the hygiene measures they are all re-enacting the battle of bikini bottom of those who do not and do wash their hands
every fight with nurgle
Did you even translate this? It seems like you didn't, cause this is *exactly* how I remember it.
_Clickbait video_
Today I learned that the Eldar hate historical reenactments
If u do historical reenactment of the age of strife who wouldn't be pissed man or eldar
that's why the Harlequins are a seperate faction
Honestly when does the Emperor *not* admire himself?
When he writhing in agony in the sheer stupidity of the Imperium of Man actions for the last 10,000 years.
"It stands out and has a mysterious design" Eldar be like:
Underhive plebs: Exterminatus
Me, an intellectual:
E X T E N S I V E H Y G I E N E M E A S U R E S
''The Emperor ocupied Cronus to admire the Emperor''
Yeah, that sounds about right.
I never took the Emperor to being a narcissist. Learned something new.
@@lyrethedragon Well, he lately he just sits there and mope.
@@Rudofaux Well I mean, when he was walking around though he built a continent sized palace and strode around in golden armour flanked by his sons, one of whom he designed to look like an angel. Also often depicted wearing golden laurels and/or a halo. I think it's fair to say he _may_ have an ego.
@@myzimensi maybe. But if you could, wouldn't you?
@Darth Revan Mayhaps gold is his favorite color.
Emperor Bless Google Translate
Omnissiah*
"Admin Translated by Google Translator" ?
This literally sums up every faction in the conflict
Well, you can't deny it. Orks do wreck the streets.
"This quiet mansion has been a controversial battlefield"
*RE1 INTENSIFIES*
"Extensive Hygiene Measures" the preferred form of purging (bacteria) by the Marines Immaculate
Ignoring what others say and wrecking the streets is the epitome of ork culture.
"the emperor occupied Cronus to admire the emperor"
Purging< *extensive hygiene measures*
Someone should animate this.
On earth, the emperor occupied cronus to admire the emperor, sounds about right, what the ministorum would do.
Hey. Hey, Orks. Quit wrecking our streets. We drive on those. Hey. Are... are you even listening to me?
From all those "translated out of existance" videos, in which everything is a random nonsense, this here translation is realy accurate. Like:
"On earth, emperor occupied Cronus to admire the emperor."
Basically Imperium of Man in a nutshell. Not to mention the "most beautiul and fat army of the empire" :D
"And implemented extensive hygiene measures" I nearly spat out my drink, holy shit
Why does this sound like something commander Boreale would say? Gotta love the memes :D
"Like Rambo
the Orks exterminate the Kronus
ignoring what others say
and wrecking the streets."
Why is this so goddamn perfect?
"the Navy, the most beautiful and FAT army in the empire." Imagine fat Space marines with pink fancy armors.
On earth, the emperor occupied Cronus to admire the emperor.
...th-this is all lore-accurate. What the hell.
"In the sweltering heat, the power of the evil spirit reaches it's climax!"
Ah so the Chaos forces worship Slaanesh then.
If the 9th edition Tau Codex comes out and I see "Latest X-Ray Shields" as a unit option, I'm not going to be happy, and neither will whoever has to use them.
Knowing the warhammer 40k universe, this speech may as well have been real.
This is art. And the best part is that it is still completely accurate.
The navy...the most beautiful and FAT army in the empire
Somehow, "earth taoists" is a fitting description for the Tau.
This is... Actually pretty damn good...
... And accurate.
“The Navy, the most beautiful and fat army of the Empire!”
.....
Wut?
I lost it at "Like Rambo"
The Crusader Began. Yo it’s on now
Ah yes Taoist , the most gruesome religion armed with long-range weaponry and X-ray shield
"Like Rambo, Orks exterminate the Cronus, ignoring what others say"
I guess this is a new canon ending to the Dark Crusade.