DEFINITELY Evidence of prejudice. I've always said the rules of prose are totally misplaced and full of condescending excuses. I used to get in arguments over it with my sophomore year english teacher all of the time...and he was totally racist. I used to have to tell him that he was "totally proof that Thomas Jefferson was totally gay!" I Am an -ing man and I also assert that the entire lexicon of prose is meant to imply philosophy; not where you place the action or emphasis of your sentence. But this would require an education and not just inundation to previous egoist ideology. (Not personal to You, just the way it is.) Oh wait; By the Gods of Prose, now just been inspired, have I! How about "Whick Whack"...or is it Wick-Wack!!!
1. cut your "-ing" verbs 2. avoid adverbs 3. avoid dialogue tags 4. no abstract words (some, thing, it was) 5. no overspecifics (holding in hand, shrugging the shoulders, blinking the eyes) 6. no unneccessary adjectives 7. no overused/weasel words 8. would/had constructions. if you need it, introduce it at the start of the paragraph and then go into simple past 9. don't use as/while illogically 10. no convuluted phrasing 11. no suddenly/started/began 12. no up/down (Stood up, stat down) 13. avoid to be words 14. avoid to me/ to myself 15. avoid realisations (realised, felt, saw) 16. avoid unplanned repetition 17. no passive voice in general 18. telling when its already implied 19
I watched this video five years ago and it SIGNIFICANTLY changed the way I write. I implemented this advice and saw dramatic improvement in my poetry and prose overnight. Thanks for this!!!
It's proven that when you put a text in another sort of... format, or font, you can better see the mistakes. That's why many fanfiction authors notice mistakes only after they've published the story to whichever site they use.
Font size works too. I usually enlarge mine as much as possible and suddenly the mistakes start jumping out at me. Honestly I can't edit on paper. I can't afford buying all the paper and a print, all the ink etc. I'm not planning on being published so I couldn't justify it.
Absolutely true. I resize my Word docs to the book trim size...and boom...it's like editing a different manuscript. Things that I never noticed stick out like a sore thumb.
Sometimes I wish i could., but editing is far more painful to me when the sentences and paragraphs are poor, than when there's actual quality in them. Also I like getting lost in the visualization and analysis of the current word, so it takes longer time for me to write, but I manage to paint the picture right and draw far more pleasure from the process itself while doing it ^^
My story started as a creative writing piece for a year 12 assignment. I fell in love with the characters and story and decided I wanted to create a world in which they exist. It’s been 2 years and I still go back to that piece as some of the best prose I’ve ever written. I’m still writing my first draft and it’s only now that I’ve FINALLY come to realise that my first draft isn’t supposed to be that great. It’s supposed to be shitty and the editing is where the magic happens. It took me far too long to realise this
3:39 The “everyone’s style will just be the same” argument always peeved me off. The nuts and bolts of concise, good writing have so, so, SO little to do with authorial style. Stephen King and Noel Gaiman both know how to avoid unfitting adverbs and use active voice, but you couldn’t possibly mistake one with the other. You’re not going to lose the forest by trimming the rotten branches.
I first learned the "ing" thing from resume writing. An -ing word is something you are doing and maybe you'll succeed or maybe you'll fail. An -ed is something you did, it is an accomplishment.
I'm an engineering student with a long-time passion for writing. Wish I could have studied this instead. Your videos are amazing. It really makes a difference learning from someone who's clearly so passionate.
"I know 'it was' is basically the weakest way you could possibly start a sentence." "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." ~1984. How about starting a book? :D Good advice, and though it's clear a lot of writing advice is debatable, it's very useful to know both sides so you can form your own opinions and writing style from them. What's that saying, learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.
Hyong Leppy Punchier isn't always better, muscle man. By putting your most interesting detail in the middle of the sentence, you've made the 'April day' detail lacklustre filler, all while losing the intrigue of the twist. Pacing is key, friend. I know it's a month late but I had to.
Mahoole Magic School I'd like to know why it changes the importance of a bright cold April day. It has two adjectives, so how likely will someone forget that detail?
Portgas D Ann Prose is the actual writing, and the use of words in your book, rather than the plot, characters, etc. Ex: "The boy ran up the stairs angrily." Vs. "The boy stormed up the stairs, kicking dust with his feet in rage." Same story and character, but the prose is different.
one of the things that completely changed the way i wrote was reading my immortal. it’s both one of the funniest things i’ve ever read and a surprisingly helpful what not to do guide. whenever i use or read the word suddenly and overly descriptive dialogue tags in place of said, i catch it instantly. bless your soul, ebony dark’ness dementia raven way
Same! I haven't read that, but I've read lots and lots of similar shit on wattpad (I did it bc I was desperate for fanfic, don't judge), but yeah whenever I see a mistake I catch it instantly! I've also started hating ing-verbs, I literally rewrite the sentence in my brain bc it bugs me so much. But even though I see these mistakes, it has also made me immune to bad writing so there's that
Regarding adverbs, I keep them out of my prose for the most part, but I find one recurring place that I'm not comfortable cutting them is something like "said softly/quietly." I know that looks ripe for 'whispered' or 'murmured' or something instead, and sometimes I do use those, yet often I specifically don't want to imply whispering. To me whispering is a specific, muted thing, like...speaking in black and white. There's not really a tone/timbre to the voice. It's just gusts of air. You can 'speak out loud' QUIETLY and with the full spectrum of voice, yet not be whispering. And it's THAT that I often want to convey that my characters are doing. Mostly because it's a richer way of communicating. Likewise, something like 'murmuring' or 'mumbling' implies that the speech is unclear/indistinct. When I hear 'said quietly/softly' I imagine the person using their NORMAL complete voice, just at a low volume; whereas when I hear 'whispered' I imagine that wispy, gusting speech. It's just not the same thing. I'd love a verb that conveyed that method of speech without an adverb, but I don't know of one.
Agree in this case. _The party was chaotic but not without its charm. Abby tapped my shoulder. “Hey, could we talk in private?” she whispered._ _The party was chaotic but not without its charm. Abby tapped my shoulder. “Hey, could we talk in private?” she said quietly._ I don’t know about you, but the use of whisper could mean anything from “Let’s snog” to “someone is stalking me and I need help rn”; whereas _said quietly_ at least to me implies emotional vulnerability, like Abby’s about to tell you she’s taking the kids.
@@samwallaceart288 The party was chaotic but not without its charm. Abby tapped my shoulder and put her mouth next to my ear. “Hey, could we talk in private?”
I love the suggestion of introducing the past perfect and then dropping it. I'm not going to pull out my copy to confirm this, but I'm pretty positive Alice Hoffman did does this quite a lot in Practical Magic, and it did so much for the whole tone of the storytelling. It created a dreamier, more vivid, and more engaging experience.
I love the info that you give in your videos. You clearly know your craft. BUT please!! Could you slow down the pace a bit, and make the transitions more obvious? For example, here you say “18 writing hacks”, but I lost track after the first 2 or 3. If you could just pause between key points and stress each of them when you first mention them, your videos would be more viewer-friendly. I know that you don’t like to make things too obvious because you believe in trusting the audience’s ability to understand. But when it comes to tutorials and tips, the easier to understand, the better. Remember that information is much more digestible when clearly segmented than when presented as a continuous stream. So the best you can do is treat each of your tips like it’s a PowerPoint bullet point in a presentation to a slow audience. Mention each number, announce the transition, “now tip number 5”. If possible, show the number on screen. I guarantee, your viewers won’t feel like you’re insulting their intelligence, if that’s what you fear. They will thank you
@@silb1350 No duh! I tried that. I don't know Gregg Shorthand, so I couldn't keep up then, either. There's a lot more good info in this video than what most people can write fast enough to note it all.
best part of this video is coming back to it after a year or so to go through your story and then finding that you've stopped doing most of these things
Shaelin, I first came across this video about 2 years ago and it's stuck with me until now. It really took my writing to a whole other level. Tbh, at first I was a little skeptical. Then I saw change take place in my first drafts. It was crazy. Honestly the opening point (treat these as rules and not guidelines) made the difference. When these things started looking like 'mistakes' to me rather than choices, I was able to truly grow as a writer. ❤️
Thanks for all of the wonderful information Shaelin. I'm a self-taught writer, and have never taken any creative writing classes. All of my writing education has been from TH-cam and online writing forums. I am so thankful for fiction vloggers such as yourself. I also subscribe to Jenna Moreci and Vivien Reis for their views on writing fiction. I am currently in the world building phase for the fantasy series my writing partner and I are working on. If you have any tips for building a fantasy world (particularly a large urban metropolis which will be our primary setting) I would really appreciate it. Thanks!
Gamerdaddy428 I would suggest taking your time and making sure you know everything you can about the world. You need to treat the world like a character in itself when you are writing a fantasy. I've made the mistake of jumping into fantasy world without knowing everything and that's one of the reasons why I had to rewrite the novel. Glad to know there are self taught writers out there. I hope you continue following your dream and that my advice helped a little. I' was actually planning on making a video about it sometime.
Kenzie Staley Thanks for your advice! We are working in stages. My partner and I have the protagonist and antagonist character profiles done and now moving onto world building. We have some world history and political stuff written but our main goal right now is nailing the city where the majority of action will be taking place.
Go into as much detail as necessary for example your metropolis, what state is it in? Is it in poverty or prosperous? Are there other areas? If so what is the relationship between those areas and your metropolis and the relationship between the other areas. Races what are they physical descriptions how do they think differently from other races, racial abilities and weaknesses. Magic if there is magic in your novel what types are there? ( if different types exist), political hierarchies. Law system(s). Important historical events.
Wonderful advice, as always! A lot of these are ones that definitely took me a long time to incorporate, and I still catch those pesky sneaks in my drafts. The -ly and -ing elaboration was great. You explained everything so well. :)
Thank you so much! After watching this video, I went over my own book, and I found eighty - count 'em, eighty - instances in one chapter where I used "ing" verbs and I didn't need to. I have some sort of "ing" verb disease. This advice is invaluable to me, and I'm sure my beta readers will thank you. God bless you, Shaelin!
This video is amazing, this really struck a chord with me. Sometimes my writing just has TOO MUCH, too many unnecessary words, and this has really helped.
Same! I haven't read My Immortal, but I've read lots and lots of similar shit on wattpad (I did it bc I was desperate for fanfic, don't judge), but yeah whenever I see a mistake I catch it instantly! I've also started hating ing-verbs, I literally rewrite the sentence in my brain bc it bugs me so much. But even though I see these mistakes, it has also made me immune to bad writing so there's that
Great post and thanks for the reference. Writers don't talk enough about prose and opt to discuss character development and plot (I guess it is fun to talk about) looking forward to reading the essay. I'm particularly bad for weasel words (i.e. particularly) but also took ages to get away from ING verbs accidentally using them as sequential rather than simultaneous
a good example is the word "then". The first time I heard it's a bad word and you should cut it, I thought 'why? this is a pretty common word, everyone uses it constantly, no one will notice whether I used it or not'... but the thing is: "then" instantly structures the actions in your story and gives them a chronological order. So it basically functions as a cheap trick. If you have to cut it though, you have to make sure, with your sentence-structure and arrangement of words, that the chronology of actions comes across. So your writing improves immediately in ways it wouldn't have with the word "then".
The thing about -ing verbs though... not using them actually changes the meaning of the sentence. Example: "I'm happy," she said, putting her sunglasses on. Without -ing verbs, it would be: "I'm happy", she said, and put her sunglasses on. I'm not saying it doesn't sound better in the second example, maybe it does, but it did change the sequence of events described. That's why -ing verbs exist, they're not just an odd-sounding quirk of the English language, they exist to express an action simultaneous to another. So how are we supposed to render that? Do we just replace all the actual simultaneous actions with "as" constructions? Also with words like "started" or "began", cutting them out can also change the meaning of a sentence. The example you used is a good example of that: he started climbing the tree implies that he is in the middle of doing so (perhaps something happens before he reaches the top). He climbed the tree implies the completed action. He's now at the top. This is a difference of meaning. Again, that's why these verbs exist, they're not arbitrary quirks of language... Realized is another one I don't agree with. Saying "he realized she was trying to kill him" implies a level of subjectivity that "she was trying to kill him" just doesn't have. It implies a change in perception, which is part of telling the story. That's what realizations are. They are moments when we become subjectively aware of a truth we were oblivious to before and this can alter our behavior. She may have been trying to kill him all along, but that's not what we're focusing on. We're focusing on the fact he realized this at some point. Am I making myself clear? It's one of those instances where we're more interested in the subjective development of the character than the actual facts. Taking "realized" out of the sentences changes the focus of it, so it isn't a superfluous word.
Hey, big fan of yours. I come back to this video every now and then and always is a nice reminder of things I sometimes get lazy about. Any chance you’d do any more videos on craft tips like this? As someone who loves writing but never took a class for it or went to college this was a video I found invaluable. I wish there was more stuff like this on here plus You prob have come up with some more stuff after all the writing you’ve done this this. Anyway, hope life’s good!
There are so many good hacks/tips/philosophies in here! Some of them I've stumbled onto implementing myself, like avoiding dialogue tags as much as possible. I try to replace them with formatting or action beats as much as possible, and reading stories that use them prolifically drive me mad now. I was skeptical about getting rid of -ing words, but after hearing your before and after, I think I'm going to give that serious consideration. I've been spending some quality time with online dictionaries to make sure I'm not wasting time and space on words already implied by the word I was wanting to use. It's been eye-opening; I've learned I had very wrong assumptions about a lot of words. lol I'm so glad you pointed out "as" means simultaneous. I am enmaddened by most uses of "as" and use it carefully myself.
The thing about rules is that they're easier and sometimes better to build off of. Limitations give a visible starting point, which is why people so often make good things out of them. Ignoring rules can leave you stranded. I could just have a bad sense of direction, but I personally love rules and tips. :)
Thank you so much for all these tips! I can't apply them all, as some things like -ing verbs don't exist in the French language, but the excess of adverbs, use of pleonasms in descriptions (furry squirrels and the like), weasel words (although the words obviously aren't the same) etc are problems I've also encountered without having realised it. I've discovered your channel quite recently and it's been truly useful as well as enjoyable. I only ever write for myself, but the perfectionist in me needs to constantly progress in order to ever achieve satisfaction. Again, thank you :)
This video is fantastic - it includes a lot of specific advice that other writing vids gloss over. Shaelin, you're great - keep making awesome videos :)
11:21 I don't think you'll see this but what if weasel words is part of the character voice? Right now i have goes something like this Despite the accident my body was mostly intact, besides the sting of a road rash, a slight limp and more importantly; wasted time.
I've always taken adverbs as a way a writer gives me mental camera. If you say someone is holding an item, my mind doesn't zoom into it, it would if you mentioned they held it in their hands. So earning them makes sense.
I recently changed "The van parked across the street. The driver pretended not to be watching." to "The driver appeared not to be watching" because the first one has a POV problem: only the driver knows whether she's pretending or not; from anyone else's point of view, the driver appeared not to be watching.
Great video.. The most informative one I found on the net. You mentioned a list of weasel words - about, actually, almost, like, appear, already, basically, approximately, even, eventually, finally, exactly, just, just then, kind of , nearly, now, practically, really , seems, simply, somehow, somewhat, sort of, suddenly, then, there, that, truly. It works when we use them sparingly. But how do we do that? what words to use in place of them. Synonyms dont always work.
this is such a great video if you're starting out to understand writing craft. It touches upon a lot of things and gives you handles to dive deeper into the material. Thank you so much for making this. It's been very helpful.
J.M Barlow - alternatively. You wouldn’t feel the kayak flip; you would feel the strained rigging of the structure, hear the hull flex, your sense of up and down jumbled as the water floor pounces and engulfs you from what you thought was above. That right there would give the vibe that maybe the protag is in an adrenaline focal moment. Either keep it simple, or way overshare on the nitty grit of what the character would physically notice. When a person is in a plane crash, they aren’t noticing the way the plane skids they’re noticing that they can’t feel their teeth.
Yo! This was useful AF. Thank you. It's also relatively easy for me to get out of writing shape and let excess verbiage sneak back into my prose, so I'll likely return to this and read the essay you noted.
Your vids are so helpful ;_; Hell, you even made me edit that sentence! I originally wrote "Your vids are all so helpful to me", caught myself, and changed it to that. *I'M LEARNING, BITCHES*
Thank you for the amazing tips Shaelin. I enjoy culling adverbs ;) That's why first drafts should be free so they can then be refined otherwise as you said we would never write anything!
Great vid Shaelin thank-you for the essay resource and giving examples of the parts of language you're using that helped me avoid confusion I'm definitely coming back to these vids for my edits. Hayley ^_^
As someone who has smoked, I can attest to being able to speak while taking in a drag. It's a thing. ;) Good rules to consider though. Thank you Shaelin!
most of the words we get told not to use, like ing words, are a rule because we dont realize it but when we speak conversationally we skip tons of of participles, but in writing you cant do that. you notice how big of a difference it makes to stop using those crutches, and actually use economic complete sentences. our conversational speak is often incomplete sentences, we just fill in the meaning automatically, but on a page it reads wrong.
ing-verbs. I use them, they exist in the language for a reason. That said, I am limiting them because it's not nice to have them everywhere. :P Oooh, I've removed sooo many dialogue tags when editing! XD The up and down thing. I think you can use it sometimes. Like, if you describe someone entering a room and dude in there just stands up from a sitting position. Then, you can say "he stood up". Because if I write "he stood" it would seem that he was standing from the start. But if we know he's sitting already, it's not needed. Oh, and I've cut SO many "to be". XD To run - ran, to walk - walked. They often come with the "started/began" thing as well. He started to run - He ran. Or There was a stair in the back of the room. A stair rose from the back of the room... or something.
Ahhh this is amazing!! I just found your channel and I'm so glad I did. I also really like the way your profs phrased following prose rules as a way of enhancing one's style. Tha's beautiful. Thanks for sharing what you've learned :)
Just found your videos and they're so good! Watching this video I realized, wow, I do everything in this video. Thanks for helping me make my writing better 😊
One thing that really helped me in my writing was being on a panel in which I had to write essays about 150 words each. That was not easy, when they asked about politics or other sensitive topics. So I learned how to cut unnecessary words, and how to add unnecessary words to make things longer!
Worst part is that a lot of these examples of bad prose sound fine to me, like the concrete driveway. Driveways can also be made of cobblestone, brick, asphalt, dirt, or gravel, so it helps paint a mental picture for me. I could be transfixed by the leaping squirrel, or watching it idly because I’m bored, or tracking its movements to make sure it doesn’t get to my bird feeder.
This was a wonderful video. You're right, I won't be able to unsee it lol. I just looked up the paper you suggested and I am going to read it probably several times over. You're a huge help. Thank you :)
Hahaha inginging sounds like you had an awesome professor! Well I never thought of ing verbs that way! As far as ly adverbs I used to use them all the time until someone pointed out how ridiculous they are and how much getting rid of them improve your writing.
'Avoid having your characters shrug because it's the least interesting thing they could do' LIKE THIS! THIS HERE! I can't tell you how many times I've been reading an awesome scene, when suddenly the character just shrugs, making it seem like they give exactly ZERO rats for what was going on. It's a good way to turn (imo) a fleshed out character into a one-dimensional character that is no longer worth my time XD
at 1:15 - Right, thank you for that advice. I'll leave now, and once I have a draft I'm ready to edit, I'll come back to this video. Thank you Shaelin.
Loved the sage advice..thank you. Lol...good job Wordsworth did not have all these writing rules or he would never have given us his host of golden daffodils. I have now cut loads of “ly” and “ing” words...but it does not tighten the prose...often quite the opposite, because the alternative lines to say the same meaning, are usually longer....also cutting sentences to minimum words loses empathy with whats happening. “I saw a lonely tree standing in a field” is emotive, but cuts to become a clinical shopping list entry... “The field had a tree”. However....I took plenty of good points from this...so...thanks again😀
Contessa Adella uhm, I'm kinda late to this but what about changing "I saw a lonely tree standing in a field." To something like "Inside the vastness of the field stood a lone tree." or "A huge field and I only saw a single tree in it." Idk, just what came to mind, ignore me ^^'
I don't think it's just a question between rules and no rules. I think the real key to strong prose is to remember you're guiding the reader's imagination, and every word you use changes the effect. So you want to use the minimum words you can to get the exact feelings and images you're going for. Plenty of rules help with this, but sometimes breaking a rule is just the answer you need.
"Reads sentence with -ing words"
Oh well, sounds fine to me.
"Reads same sentence without -ing words"
What sorcery is this.
Ikr
dqydj.com/baader-meinhof-phenomenon-frequency-bias/
DEFINITELY Evidence of prejudice. I've always said the rules of prose are totally misplaced and full of condescending excuses. I used to get in arguments over it with my sophomore year english teacher all of the time...and he was totally racist. I used to have to tell him that he was "totally proof that Thomas Jefferson was totally gay!" I Am an -ing man and I also assert that the entire lexicon of prose is meant to imply philosophy; not where you place the action or emphasis of your sentence. But this would require an education and not just inundation to previous egoist ideology. (Not personal to You, just the way it is.)
Oh wait; By the Gods of Prose, now just been inspired, have I!
How about "Whick Whack"...or is it Wick-Wack!!!
A
@Bth-cam.com/video/_QivLkGY3_o/w-d-xo.html
1. cut your "-ing" verbs
2. avoid adverbs
3. avoid dialogue tags
4. no abstract words (some, thing, it was)
5. no overspecifics (holding in hand, shrugging the shoulders, blinking the eyes)
6. no unneccessary adjectives
7. no overused/weasel words
8. would/had constructions. if you need it, introduce it at the start of the paragraph and then go into simple past
9. don't use as/while illogically
10. no convuluted phrasing
11. no suddenly/started/began
12. no up/down (Stood up, stat down)
13. avoid to be words
14. avoid to me/ to myself
15. avoid realisations (realised, felt, saw)
16. avoid unplanned repetition
17. no passive voice in general
18. telling when its already implied
19
thank you! :)
List starts at 06:07
Can we add pronouns to the list? Goddamn politics, making us hate pronouns!
I watched this video five years ago and it SIGNIFICANTLY changed the way I write. I implemented this advice and saw dramatic improvement in my poetry and prose overnight. Thanks for this!!!
It's proven that when you put a text in another sort of... format, or font, you can better see the mistakes. That's why many fanfiction authors notice mistakes only after they've published the story to whichever site they use.
It's true! I actually change the font when I start editing because of this!
Font size works too. I usually enlarge mine as much as possible and suddenly the mistakes start jumping out at me. Honestly I can't edit on paper. I can't afford buying all the paper and a print, all the ink etc. I'm not planning on being published so I couldn't justify it.
Absolutely true. I resize my Word docs to the book trim size...and boom...it's like editing a different manuscript. Things that I never noticed stick out like a sore thumb.
Thanks ya'll for this advice! Never thought about it before but I shall employ each.
@Lee Hayman maybe yours does
Bottom line here is to JUST WRITE. Even if it reads like shit. I go out of my way to write poorly.
The beautiful prose happens in the editing process.
Sometimes I wish i could., but editing is far more painful to me when the sentences and paragraphs are poor, than when there's actual quality in them. Also I like getting lost in the visualization and analysis of the current word, so it takes longer time for me to write, but I manage to paint the picture right and draw far more pleasure from the process itself while doing it ^^
write drunk. edit sober.
Allegedly, The Gumtree Bookshelf Story was a first draft. Just saying.
The beautifully written prose began to happen when the editing process started
My story started as a creative writing piece for a year 12 assignment. I fell in love with the characters and story and decided I wanted to create a world in which they exist. It’s been 2 years and I still go back to that piece as some of the best prose I’ve ever written. I’m still writing my first draft and it’s only now that I’ve FINALLY come to realise that my first draft isn’t supposed to be that great. It’s supposed to be shitty and the editing is where the magic happens. It took me far too long to realise this
3:39
The “everyone’s style will just be the same” argument always peeved me off. The nuts and bolts of concise, good writing have so, so, SO little to do with authorial style. Stephen King and Noel Gaiman both know how to avoid unfitting adverbs and use active voice, but you couldn’t possibly mistake one with the other. You’re not going to lose the forest by trimming the rotten branches.
Exactly. It's like saying "if everyone uses the same colors, every painting will look alike".
I first learned the "ing" thing from resume writing. An -ing word is something you are doing and maybe you'll succeed or maybe you'll fail. An -ed is something you did, it is an accomplishment.
Yes, i learned the same thing
I'm an engineering student with a long-time passion for writing. Wish I could have studied this instead. Your videos are amazing. It really makes a difference learning from someone who's clearly so passionate.
Too many -ings.
"I know 'it was' is basically the weakest way you could possibly start a sentence."
"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." ~1984. How about starting a book? :D
Good advice, and though it's clear a lot of writing advice is debatable, it's very useful to know both sides so you can form your own opinions and writing style from them. What's that saying, learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.
Mike Lounge "The clocks struck thirteen on a cold April day."
Does that not sound punchier?
Hyong Leppy
Punchier isn't always better, muscle man. By putting your most interesting detail in the middle of the sentence, you've made the 'April day' detail lacklustre filler, all while losing the intrigue of the twist. Pacing is key, friend.
I know it's a month late but I had to.
Mahoole Magic School I'd like to know why it changes the importance of a bright cold April day. It has two adjectives, so how likely will someone forget that detail?
Hyong Leppy
You want to end your line on the point of intrigue, not a trivial detail. Order matters.
You dob't have to be a writer to know as much.
Rule 19. Remove all squirrels.
*PETA wants to know your location*
watched the whole video without knowing what prose means
I didnt know too
LOL ME TOO
me too
What's prose tho
Portgas D Ann Prose is the actual writing, and the use of words in your book, rather than the plot, characters, etc.
Ex:
"The boy ran up the stairs angrily."
Vs.
"The boy stormed up the stairs, kicking dust with his feet in rage."
Same story and character, but the prose is different.
Who needs to go to English class when we've got Shaelin!
I JUST SAW THIS. AND LEGIT THREW MY HOMEWORK TO THE SIDE, AND DRRAAAGGGED MY SCREEN CLOSER.
Planetarian Prince Loveeee your profile pic 😏 are you part of the phandom?
You yous all capitals
you yous "yous"
Rip your grades
R. I. P. grades
one of the things that completely changed the way i wrote was reading my immortal. it’s both one of the funniest things i’ve ever read and a surprisingly helpful what not to do guide. whenever i use or read the word suddenly and overly descriptive dialogue tags in place of said, i catch it instantly. bless your soul, ebony dark’ness dementia raven way
Same! I haven't read that, but I've read lots and lots of similar shit on wattpad (I did it bc I was desperate for fanfic, don't judge), but yeah whenever I see a mistake I catch it instantly! I've also started hating ing-verbs, I literally rewrite the sentence in my brain bc it bugs me so much. But even though I see these mistakes, it has also made me immune to bad writing so there's that
Great, now I actually want to read it..
Just checked it out, first paragraph in and I'm already cringing.
Regarding adverbs, I keep them out of my prose for the most part, but I find one recurring place that I'm not comfortable cutting them is something like "said softly/quietly." I know that looks ripe for 'whispered' or 'murmured' or something instead, and sometimes I do use those, yet often I specifically don't want to imply whispering. To me whispering is a specific, muted thing, like...speaking in black and white. There's not really a tone/timbre to the voice. It's just gusts of air. You can 'speak out loud' QUIETLY and with the full spectrum of voice, yet not be whispering. And it's THAT that I often want to convey that my characters are doing. Mostly because it's a richer way of communicating. Likewise, something like 'murmuring' or 'mumbling' implies that the speech is unclear/indistinct. When I hear 'said quietly/softly' I imagine the person using their NORMAL complete voice, just at a low volume; whereas when I hear 'whispered' I imagine that wispy, gusting speech. It's just not the same thing. I'd love a verb that conveyed that method of speech without an adverb, but I don't know of one.
If you want to get rid of the adverb you could say "said in hushed tones" or something like that
Agree in this case.
_The party was chaotic but not without its charm. Abby tapped my shoulder. “Hey, could we talk in private?” she whispered._
_The party was chaotic but not without its charm. Abby tapped my shoulder. “Hey, could we talk in private?” she said quietly._
I don’t know about you, but the use of whisper could mean anything from “Let’s snog” to “someone is stalking me and I need help rn”; whereas _said quietly_ at least to me implies emotional vulnerability, like Abby’s about to tell you she’s taking the kids.
I think what it is is “whispered” means “I don’t want others to hear,” while “said quietly” gives the vibe of “it’s not easy for me to say this.”
@@samwallaceart288 The party was chaotic but not without its charm. Abby tapped my shoulder and put her mouth next to my ear. “Hey, could we talk in private?”
@@rodschmidt8952 that's my favorite, avoiding dialogue tags entirely
I love the suggestion of introducing the past perfect and then dropping it. I'm not going to pull out my copy to confirm this, but I'm pretty positive Alice Hoffman did does this quite a lot in Practical Magic, and it did so much for the whole tone of the storytelling. It created a dreamier, more vivid, and more engaging experience.
Here's one that peeves me.
"Her lips let loose a growl."
If your lips are growling, you need to see a medical professional.
Gynecologist?
@@jch-eg4vd 😂
i think i pulled a muscle in my neck laughing
Yeah I'm pretty sure they (author) meant "A growl escaped her lips."
That's actually pretty funny.
I love the info that you give in your videos. You clearly know your craft.
BUT please!! Could you slow down the pace a bit, and make the transitions more obvious?
For example, here you say “18 writing hacks”, but I lost track after the first 2 or 3. If you
could just pause between key points and stress each of them when you first
mention them, your videos would be more viewer-friendly.
I know that you don’t like to make things too obvious because you believe in trusting the audience’s
ability to understand. But when it comes to tutorials and tips, the easier to understand,
the better.
Remember that information is much more digestible when clearly segmented than when presented
as a continuous stream. So the best you can do is treat each of your tips like it’s
a PowerPoint bullet point in a presentation to a slow audience. Mention each
number, announce the transition, “now tip number 5”.
If possible, show the number on screen.
I guarantee, your viewers won’t feel like you’re insulting their intelligence, if that’s
what you fear. They will thank you
Why don't you just pause, rewind and take notes
Amen! I can't take notes that fast! 🤪😄
@@shelliewolske8977
It's not easy to keep pausing, when watching AND note-taking on the same device.
@@anneahlert2997 get a notebook or something then
@@silb1350
No duh! I tried that. I don't know Gregg Shorthand, so I couldn't keep up then, either. There's a lot more good info in this video than what most people can write fast enough to note it all.
best part of this video is coming back to it after a year or so to go through your story and then finding that you've stopped doing most of these things
Shaelin, I first came across this video about 2 years ago and it's stuck with me until now. It really took my writing to a whole other level. Tbh, at first I was a little skeptical. Then I saw change take place in my first drafts. It was crazy.
Honestly the opening point (treat these as rules and not guidelines) made the difference. When these things started looking like 'mistakes' to me rather than choices, I was able to truly grow as a writer. ❤️
This video is liquid gold for writers. Thank you!
Thanks for all of the wonderful information Shaelin. I'm a self-taught writer, and have never taken any creative writing classes. All of my writing education has been from TH-cam and online writing forums. I am so thankful for fiction vloggers such as yourself. I also subscribe to Jenna Moreci and Vivien Reis for their views on writing fiction. I am currently in the world building phase for the fantasy series my writing partner and I are working on. If you have any tips for building a fantasy world (particularly a large urban metropolis which will be our primary setting) I would really appreciate it. Thanks!
Gamerdaddy428
I would suggest taking your time and making sure you know everything you can about the world. You need to treat the world like a character in itself when you are writing a fantasy.
I've made the mistake of jumping into fantasy world without knowing everything and that's one of the reasons why I had to rewrite the novel.
Glad to know there are self taught writers out there. I hope you continue following your dream and that my advice helped a little. I' was actually planning on making a video about it sometime.
Kenzie Staley Thanks for your advice! We are working in stages. My partner and I have the protagonist and antagonist character profiles done and now moving onto world building. We have some world history and political stuff written but our main goal right now is nailing the city where the majority of action will be taking place.
Gamerdaddy428
It sounds like you guys are getting really far! Keep up the work and you guys will get it!
Go into as much detail as necessary for example your metropolis, what state is it in? Is it in poverty or prosperous? Are there other areas? If so what is the relationship between those areas and your metropolis and the relationship between the other areas. Races what are they physical descriptions how do they think differently from other races, racial abilities and weaknesses. Magic if there is magic in your novel what types are there? ( if different types exist), political hierarchies. Law system(s). Important historical events.
Leeky-chan38 ii
*Shaelin lists weasel words*
*anxiety rises*
Right? lol. Are you Lebanese?
@@jpch8814 yeah i am
@@cyrillechidiac6368 Awesome ! Would love to read another Lebanese person's work. Wish you the best.
Easily the best and most useful writing advice video I've seen so far. These are great rules, and I shall endeavour to apply them from hereonout.
A simple sincere thank you Shaelin, for all the work you do to bring us your videos. Bravo!
i need a written version of this so i can follow them, these rules are so useful
Wonderful advice, as always! A lot of these are ones that definitely took me a long time to incorporate, and I still catch those pesky sneaks in my drafts. The -ly and -ing elaboration was great. You explained everything so well. :)
Sometimes I feel I'm kind of irrational with my -ing verb hatred haha
Thank you so much! After watching this video, I went over my own book, and I found eighty - count 'em, eighty - instances in one chapter where I used "ing" verbs and I didn't need to. I have some sort of "ing" verb disease. This advice is invaluable to me, and I'm sure my beta readers will thank you. God bless you, Shaelin!
I’m having such a great epiphany watching this. She’s going off on great things I will be incorporating in my speech and writing!
I used to write "nodded his head" ALL THE TIME. Who knows what else you can nod...
I nodded my head knowing I do the same
This video is amazing, this really struck a chord with me.
Sometimes my writing just has TOO MUCH, too many unnecessary words, and this has really helped.
Same! I haven't read My Immortal, but I've read lots and lots of similar shit on wattpad (I did it bc I was desperate for fanfic, don't judge), but yeah whenever I see a mistake I catch it instantly! I've also started hating ing-verbs, I literally rewrite the sentence in my brain bc it bugs me so much. But even though I see these mistakes, it has also made me immune to bad writing so there's that
this video helps SO much. before, i edited grammar etc because i didn't know how to improve
my prose sounds way better now. i can't thank you enough
I'm glad to hear the "edit on paper" advice. I thought I was the only one who experienced that phenomenon.
deadass going to make a list of these when i line edit my next draft
You make a lot of valid points. My critique partners and I have discussed these issues to no end. I agree with you on a lot of this.
You look so pretty with long hair!
Great post and thanks for the reference. Writers don't talk enough about prose and opt to discuss character development and plot (I guess it is fun to talk about) looking forward to reading the essay.
I'm particularly bad for weasel words (i.e. particularly) but also took ages to get away from ING verbs accidentally using them as sequential rather than simultaneous
a good example is the word "then". The first time I heard it's a bad word and you should cut it, I thought 'why? this is a pretty common word, everyone uses it constantly, no one will notice whether I used it or not'... but the thing is: "then" instantly structures the actions in your story and gives them a chronological order. So it basically functions as a cheap trick. If you have to cut it though, you have to make sure, with your sentence-structure and arrangement of words, that the chronology of actions comes across. So your writing improves immediately in ways it wouldn't have with the word "then".
The thing about -ing verbs though... not using them actually changes the meaning of the sentence. Example: "I'm happy," she said, putting her sunglasses on. Without -ing verbs, it would be: "I'm happy", she said, and put her sunglasses on. I'm not saying it doesn't sound better in the second example, maybe it does, but it did change the sequence of events described. That's why -ing verbs exist, they're not just an odd-sounding quirk of the English language, they exist to express an action simultaneous to another. So how are we supposed to render that? Do we just replace all the actual simultaneous actions with "as" constructions?
Also with words like "started" or "began", cutting them out can also change the meaning of a sentence. The example you used is a good example of that: he started climbing the tree implies that he is in the middle of doing so (perhaps something happens before he reaches the top). He climbed the tree implies the completed action. He's now at the top. This is a difference of meaning. Again, that's why these verbs exist, they're not arbitrary quirks of language...
Realized is another one I don't agree with. Saying "he realized she was trying to kill him" implies a level of subjectivity that "she was trying to kill him" just doesn't have. It implies a change in perception, which is part of telling the story. That's what realizations are. They are moments when we become subjectively aware of a truth we were oblivious to before and this can alter our behavior. She may have been trying to kill him all along, but that's not what we're focusing on. We're focusing on the fact he realized this at some point. Am I making myself clear? It's one of those instances where we're more interested in the subjective development of the character than the actual facts. Taking "realized" out of the sentences changes the focus of it, so it isn't a superfluous word.
Lovely video, I've been coming back to this video over the last 3 years and it's still as good
The longest book i wrote was ONLY 17 pages.🤣🤣🤣
3 Harry Potter Fans A4 pages or smaller?
Geo Globe A4
Hey, big fan of yours. I come back to this video every now and then and always is a nice reminder of things I sometimes get lazy about. Any chance you’d do any more videos on craft tips like this? As someone who loves writing but never took a class for it or went to college this was a video I found invaluable. I wish there was more stuff like this on here plus You prob have come up with some more stuff after all the writing you’ve done this this. Anyway, hope life’s good!
There are so many good hacks/tips/philosophies in here! Some of them I've stumbled onto implementing myself, like avoiding dialogue tags as much as possible. I try to replace them with formatting or action beats as much as possible, and reading stories that use them prolifically drive me mad now. I was skeptical about getting rid of -ing words, but after hearing your before and after, I think I'm going to give that serious consideration. I've been spending some quality time with online dictionaries to make sure I'm not wasting time and space on words already implied by the word I was wanting to use. It's been eye-opening; I've learned I had very wrong assumptions about a lot of words. lol I'm so glad you pointed out "as" means simultaneous. I am enmaddened by most uses of "as" and use it carefully myself.
Thanks, Shaelin. I'm definitely coming back to this video when I get to the editing stage.
This is a great TH-cam crash course video for writing stronger prose! Thanks, Shaelin!
The thing about rules is that they're easier and sometimes better to build off of. Limitations give a visible starting point, which is why people so often make good things out of them. Ignoring rules can leave you stranded.
I could just have a bad sense of direction, but I personally love rules and tips. :)
Some great tips here - really compels you to re-examine work you thought was finished!
Thank you so much for all these tips!
I can't apply them all, as some things like -ing verbs don't exist in the French language, but the excess of adverbs, use of pleonasms in descriptions (furry squirrels and the like), weasel words (although the words obviously aren't the same) etc are problems I've also encountered without having realised it.
I've discovered your channel quite recently and it's been truly useful as well as enjoyable. I only ever write for myself, but the perfectionist in me needs to constantly progress in order to ever achieve satisfaction.
Again, thank you :)
I adore this video. So helpful. I can’t find the full essay you’re speaking of, just snippets of it here and there on random blogs.
This video is fantastic - it includes a lot of specific advice that other writing vids gloss over. Shaelin, you're great - keep making awesome videos :)
11:21
I don't think you'll see this but what if weasel words is part of the character voice? Right now i have goes something like this
Despite the accident my body was mostly intact, besides the sting of a road rash, a slight limp and more importantly; wasted time.
“Wait until editing” was a tip a friend gave me and I didn’t listen. It caused a lot of chaos and wasted time. Thank you for a great tip
Super useful and I agree with all of those and gives me hope as already noticing it all as I write. There’s only improvement that will come next time
This saved my prose. You're a gem ❤
I've always taken adverbs as a way a writer gives me mental camera. If you say someone is holding an item, my mind doesn't zoom into it, it would if you mentioned they held it in their hands. So earning them makes sense.
Loved this want to scan through my work with this eventually!
I feel like this episode needed more squirrels. Four stars! Thanks for the info. I get a lot out of your videos.
I recently changed "The van parked across the street. The driver pretended not to be watching." to "The driver appeared not to be watching" because the first one has a POV problem: only the driver knows whether she's pretending or not; from anyone else's point of view, the driver appeared not to be watching.
These are really good advice. So glad I clicked on it. I'm going rewatch it later when I'm more awake and take notes.
You've made me realize that the english curriculum of my public school was extremely lacking. Thanks for teaching me now 💗
Thank you for these tips Shaelin; now I can edit my writing effectively.
Great video.. The most informative one I found on the net. You mentioned a list of weasel words - about, actually, almost, like, appear, already, basically, approximately, even, eventually, finally, exactly, just, just then, kind of , nearly, now, practically, really , seems, simply, somehow, somewhat, sort of, suddenly, then, there, that, truly.
It works when we use them sparingly. But how do we do that? what words to use in place of them. Synonyms dont always work.
Shubhankar Sengupta A lot of those you can just not use. "He was just reading" to "He was reading"
this is such a great video if you're starting out to understand writing craft. It touches upon a lot of things and gives you handles to dive deeper into the material. Thank you so much for making this. It's been very helpful.
To paraphrase Will Hunting: you're giving me a $100,000 education for free. THANK YOU!!!
She said no -ing words smh 😤
David Michael Kaplan wrote a book called "Revision." This "Essay" "Revision your Prose for Power in Punch" is Chapter 9 of that book.
Thank you, I could never find the book now I know why
The adverbs that aren't implied are so nice to me :)
"Nobody is going to be in a kayak and not feel it flip if they are in a kayak and it flips"
Quote of the day!
(This made me sub btw)
J.M Barlow - alternatively. You wouldn’t feel the kayak flip; you would feel the strained rigging of the structure, hear the hull flex, your sense of up and down jumbled as the water floor pounces and engulfs you from what you thought was above. That right there would give the vibe that maybe the protag is in an adrenaline focal moment. Either keep it simple, or way overshare on the nitty grit of what the character would physically notice. When a person is in a plane crash, they aren’t noticing the way the plane skids they’re noticing that they can’t feel their teeth.
Yo! This was useful AF. Thank you. It's also relatively easy for me to get out of writing shape and let excess verbiage sneak back into my prose, so I'll likely return to this and read the essay you noted.
I love you and the way you write! I look forward to your next video, I get super giddy when I see you post a new video!
when you’re trying to use this for roleplay but it all comes down to first drafts..
Your vids are so helpful ;_; Hell, you even made me edit that sentence! I originally wrote "Your vids are all so helpful to me", caught myself, and changed it to that. *I'M LEARNING, BITCHES*
This is the kind of video I need for helping me write my novel
I have my story, I have my characters, I have my plot
I just need the words
I agree. For me, editing on paper is so much more helpful. I notice things on paper I just don't see on the screen.
Thank you for the amazing tips Shaelin. I enjoy culling adverbs ;) That's why first drafts should be free so they can then be refined otherwise as you said we would never write anything!
Great vid Shaelin thank-you for the essay resource and giving examples of the parts of language you're using that helped me avoid confusion I'm definitely coming back to these vids for my edits.
Hayley ^_^
Hayley Gross whats the name and author essay?
As someone who has smoked, I can attest to being able to speak while taking in a drag. It's a thing. ;) Good rules to consider though. Thank you Shaelin!
most of the words we get told not to use, like ing words, are a rule because we dont realize it but when we speak conversationally we skip tons of of participles, but in writing you cant do that. you notice how big of a difference it makes to stop using those crutches, and actually use economic complete sentences. our conversational speak is often incomplete sentences, we just fill in the meaning automatically, but on a page it reads wrong.
ing-verbs. I use them, they exist in the language for a reason. That said, I am limiting them because it's not nice to have them everywhere. :P Oooh, I've removed sooo many dialogue tags when editing! XD The up and down thing. I think you can use it sometimes. Like, if you describe someone entering a room and dude in there just stands up from a sitting position. Then, you can say "he stood up". Because if I write "he stood" it would seem that he was standing from the start. But if we know he's sitting already, it's not needed. Oh, and I've cut SO many "to be". XD To run - ran, to walk - walked. They often come with the "started/began" thing as well. He started to run - He ran. Or There was a stair in the back of the room. A stair rose from the back of the room... or something.
This is an excellent video. I learned so much from it. I'm definitely going to rewatch this and take notes. You make some great videos
Ahhh this is amazing!! I just found your channel and I'm so glad I did. I also really like the way your profs phrased following prose rules as a way of enhancing one's style. Tha's beautiful. Thanks for sharing what you've learned :)
"No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job" - T.S. Eliot
You can’t decorate a house before you build the walls is such a fantastic analogy
Just found your videos and they're so good! Watching this video I realized, wow, I do everything in this video. Thanks for helping me make my writing better 😊
One thing that really helped me in my writing was being on a panel in which I had to write essays about 150 words each. That was not easy, when they asked about politics or other sensitive topics. So I learned how to cut unnecessary words, and how to add unnecessary words to make things longer!
Worst part is that a lot of these examples of bad prose sound fine to me, like the concrete driveway. Driveways can also be made of cobblestone, brick, asphalt, dirt, or gravel, so it helps paint a mental picture for me. I could be transfixed by the leaping squirrel, or watching it idly because I’m bored, or tracking its movements to make sure it doesn’t get to my bird feeder.
This was a wonderful video. You're right, I won't be able to unsee it lol. I just looked up the paper you suggested and I am going to read it probably several times over. You're a huge help. Thank you :)
I think adverbs are best used with oxymorons, such as someone screaming silently or deafening silence.
This woman is ADORABLE!
some excellent advice, ones I can use- the change in font/format looks like a good idea for me.
finally, a truly helpful writing video. examples! you give us many. thank you!
Hahaha inginging sounds like you had an awesome professor! Well I never thought of ing verbs that way! As far as ly adverbs I used to use them all the time until someone pointed out how ridiculous they are and how much getting rid of them improve your writing.
'Avoid having your characters shrug because it's the least interesting thing they could do'
LIKE THIS! THIS HERE! I can't tell you how many times I've been reading an awesome scene, when suddenly the character just shrugs, making it seem like they give exactly ZERO rats for what was going on. It's a good way to turn (imo) a fleshed out character into a one-dimensional character that is no longer worth my time XD
SIgh
I'll be back when my first draft is done.
Shaelin, you are adorable when you are being so earnest and enthusiastic. :)
at 1:15 - Right, thank you for that advice. I'll leave now, and once I have a draft I'm ready to edit, I'll come back to this video. Thank you Shaelin.
I always replace just with simply but turns out I replaced one weasel word with another...shit lol.
Loved the sage advice..thank you. Lol...good job Wordsworth did not have all these writing rules or he would never have given us his host of golden daffodils. I have now cut loads of “ly” and “ing” words...but it does not tighten the prose...often quite the opposite, because the alternative lines to say the same meaning, are usually longer....also cutting sentences to minimum words loses empathy with whats happening.
“I saw a lonely tree standing in a field” is emotive, but cuts to become a clinical shopping list entry... “The field had a tree”. However....I took plenty of good points from this...so...thanks again😀
Contessa Adella uhm, I'm kinda late to this but what about changing "I saw a lonely tree standing in a field."
To something like "Inside the vastness of the field stood a lone tree."
or "A huge field and I only saw a single tree in it."
Idk, just what came to mind, ignore me ^^'
I don't think it's just a question between rules and no rules. I think the real key to strong prose is to remember you're guiding the reader's imagination, and every word you use changes the effect. So you want to use the minimum words you can to get the exact feelings and images you're going for. Plenty of rules help with this, but sometimes breaking a rule is just the answer you need.
"I'm just trying to make these all have squirrels." - subscribed