So let me just get this out. Fucking, thank you. I have been trying to figure out what makes my writing so awkward for the past year and no real article or even self searching and studying has told me directly what I've been doing wrong to my manuscript. Instant sub. Thank you.
Don't feel bad. I bought the Chicago Manual of Style to tell me this cause I couldn't find it online. So yeah...and you know what. I still don't listen. I think it's worse that i know but don't stop myself. Still a good book to have for reference.
Michal K Thank you. THANK YOU. I thought today would be so unproductive because I was feeling sluggish but then I followed this link for that mind-blowing revelation. This will help me so much, although it'll be a pain to overhaul my entire book when I plan to publish in summer. X'D
Well, I wouldn't say my stuff is great, but I do like burying something I've written for a year or two, then going back to read it afresh and edit. If I've left it long enough, it doesn't even feel like something I've written and any plot holes, errors or over-used words become obvious.
For years my father has been telling me that my writing bothers him because it sounds like someone telling the story as opposed to experiencing it. Thanks to your video, I think I understand a little more now.
I BUTCHER the use of 'however' and 'but'. They are practically thrown all over my writing, so when I saw they weren't really on the list, I not only felt a bit relieved, but also quite amused. That being said, now that I'm nearly done my first chapter, I have quickly realized that I have a tremendous amount of filler words to cut out. Oh boy, this is gunna be fun. But at least I watched this video before I went ahead and did the entire novel. O_o Now THAT would've been painful.
Saaaaaaaaaaaame!! XDD Sometimes ignorance IS a bliss when it comes to writing. XDD I mean, if it's for yourself, as long as you enjoy what you're doing then I think that's all you really need. XDD
You favor adjectives. "practically, bit, quite, nearly, quickly, tremendous..." You're very descriptive and on the right path, but try eliminating some adjectives and replace the noun or verb with a more descriptive word. Brevity is clean and provides that "punch per word" ratio thingy she mentioned. Good luck Madelynn!!
So glad I watched this video - now I finally know what I'm doing wrong. It seems to me like English writing is the exact opposite to German writing... English: Deliver your information in a short and precise manner, leave out any unnecessary words, avoid adverbs and overly complicated sentence structures. German: Make that sentence longer! LONGER I said! Why use three words to describe this when you could use TEN?! If that sentence doesn't cover at least half a page and includes 15 commas or more you can pack your things and leave!
Really? That's interesting. So it is considered good form to always use "dass" even when it can be omitted. So "Ich weiss, dass ich ein guter Schreiber bin" is better than "Ich weiss, ich bin kein guter Schreiber"?
Damo2690 there was a big spelling reform (20 or so years ago) and ever since then daß does not exist any more. It is always written as dass now. But it is pronounced the same. However dass and das are not the same thing, they both exist and are also pronounced the same way.
The irony is this is probably why I enjoy German-language books translated to English so much. When people say what's the difference, I've always said I love the voice that comes through. Long sentences ftw!
It can also slow the story down, which is a good thing for pacing. We don't need action packed sentences every time. Sometimes, the character really does experience things passively. "That" is good for separating sentencing fragments. They are like verbal commas, and help the reader to hold on to the ideas better until the end of the sentence is over.
Most of these are just style choices, not rules. I find writing that's devoid of these "unnecessary" words to be just as grating as writing that's bogged down with them. In my opinion, when you cut out all these words, it messes up the pacing and comes across like the Twitter character limit. As for filter words, whether or not they're bad writing depends entirely on the purpose of the main character; if the protagonist is meant to be an "avatar" or blank slate for the reader to identify with, then filter words are a bad idea. But if the protagonist has a strong personal identity and is meant to be perceived as someone external to the reader, rather than a surrogate for the reader, then stating the protagonist's thoughts and perceptions as matters of fact rather than through filter words can itself enter the territory of bad writing. Filter words can help maintain the distinction between the reader and the protagonist, if author so desires. A bigger issue, though, is that in the example sentence for "that," cutting the word out would actually be bad writing. The problem with the sentence "It was easy to see the dog was hurt" is that the reader could see the words "It was easy to see the dog" and think the sentence breaks up there, making it seem as if it's meant in the sense "the dog was easy to see," only to get to the end of the sentence and realize that it actually breaks up as "It was easy to see // the dog was hurt," and not "It was easy to see the dog // was hurt." I hope the way I described that made sense, but I'm sure you've had the experience of going into a sentence thinking it breaks up one way or that a word is meant in one sense, only to get to the end of the sentence and realize you were reading it wrong. Rendering it as "It was easy to see *that* the dog was hurt." makes it easier to read, by making it clear where the sentence breaks up. There are plenty of cases of this usage of "that" that don't make it easier to read (such as "I told you that I was going to the store." vs. "I told you I was going to the store.") but in a lot of cases, including your example, "that" is like the Oxford comma: not necessary, but it makes it easier to read.
I agree about the word "that." In Spanish, it is pretty much always necessary, so I've become used to using it in English too. It just sounds better to me. When I read a sentence like "It was easy to see the dog was hurt," I feel something is missing and often mentally add a "that"
In this example, we're writing in past tense. "The boy cried" would be "The boy cries" in present tense, which does not imply the action has concluded. If we were writing in present tense and use "cried," you would be correct. For this to work in past tense, you would have to use past perfect to say "The boy had cried" to imply the action concluded. Hope that clears things up.
I also think it's heavily dependent on context. There is a big difference between starting to cry and being in the process of crying. Not only is there a visual difference, it also conveys a lot of information about the cause of the tears. Example: POV character enters a room full of strangers. "A young woman tightly held onto a little boy who cried." only tells me that he is currently crying. I don't know if he was already crying before the POV character entered the room, what triggered it, nothing. He's just crying, that's all. Contrast that with "A young woman tightly held onto a little boy who started to cry." shows that something just now triggered his tears, either the presence of the POV character or the embrace of the woman. That kind of thing can be important information. The more prolonged an activity is, the more important time becomes - there is a big difference between "Cheryl climbed the wall." and "Cheryl started to climb the wall." A lot can happen in between!
Sharon Efee I don't know, it just doesn't have the same feel as "began to". As she approached the coffin she began to shake feels better than she shook as she approached the coffin. She shook feels like I'm cheating her of this moment. One conveys a slow buildup while the other is just 'bam' in your face. I like to write the way I talk so maybe that's why the tighter version is unappealing.
Just is like a crutch for me. I know I use it too much, but I *just* feel like it's the perfect word to use when you're trying to explain something *just* perfectly or trying to get the audience to *just* understand a point. I *just* can't stop! Wow, just doesn't even feel like a word anymore. Maybe I can stop! *Just* not quite.
"he was just about ready, when..." "he reaped his just rewards" "he wasn't in the mood just now" everything was just great" you cant just substitute words without changing the tone ... just
Daniel you are missing some adverbs in this comment! Don't touch my holy adverbs! or Don't touch harshly my tender adverbs! It would sound so much more dramatic - would it?
Don't take this stuff as gospel. It can be useful but if you enjoy the way you write then write your stories like that. Rules aren't life or death and they can and should be broken when it comes to creating art.
It's like art agreed, I watch dos and don't on art work using what others advise as guidelines. You ca do what you want but these type of things add growth and in depth progress.
I went on an -ly purge after reading "Self-Editing" and... By the end of it, I felt very silly. I actually had my word processor mark all of my -ly words, and it became comical trying to replace them all with more descriptive verbs. It became a vocabulary contest rather than storytelling and the entire purpose of my story got buried under rather pointless issues of style. Some of the most loved writing breaks all sorts of "rules." Especially pointless are these most arbitrary rules, like prohibitions against adverbs (including just the -ly adverbs). I will not be that unhappy if I don't reach or please the reading elite. These external attempts to control the styles of other writers to fit into a certain mold goes against the core of creative writing.
Vivien saw the camera falling down over and suddenly she began to feel that she was rather in fear. Then she decided to put the camera back in its place. That camera was a rather bad, embarrassingly very cheap camera. Here! Corrected!
On the adverbs: Consider this sentence: "He ran quickly down the stairs". "Ran quickly" is not a word, it is the definition of a word. To "run quickly" can be called "bolting". So, "He bolted down the stairs". Write the word, not the definition of the word you're looking for. Adverbs are generally a way to define a word. However, a better use of adverb: ""He quickly bolted down the stairs". In this case, "quickly" stands on its own, it isn't a part of defining or enhacing a verb. In this case, he didn't bolt in a quick way, he started bolting quickly. OK, sure, perhaps "bolted" implies a quick reaction, not just a quick movement, but you get the point.
Oh wow. I'm nearly finished writing my novel. Watching this video made me realize that I use all of these sooooo often! I also realize now how much work I will have later on. Great video though! Helpful as always :)
I noticed that I was doing this by myself already about half of the time. Now that I know what to look for, I can give it that special attention the other half of the time that I do find myself writing these words. And I do use words like 'almost' or 'really', but mainly to show how unimportant the outcome is, or sometimes even ironically, since I often like to taunt the reader slightly.
All rules are off for dialogue. People use language differently so characters should use language differently. They shouldn't sound like each other and they definitely shouldn't sound like you.
Howling din I'd love to say this is true but it isn't. When characters in a story use bad grammar and speak lazily, people will still call it "bad writing".
But it isn’t! It shouldn’t matter what people think. Besides, those whose opinions you might care about more will know that you are developing a character’s speech.
These rules are more for narration rather than dialogue. Though try to keep the general feel for the character in what they say. A smart character would try to stay clear of saying anything redundant or technically incorrect that is commonly said- these are called "hypercorrections”.
Oh my! When she said 'even better, say tears welled up in the boy's eyes' but the bit to the side said 'tears welled in the boy's eyes', getting rid of that up made it so much better! This video is genius!
Yeah... not quite the effect it could have. :) The camera fell from its perch on my nightstand abruptly shattering the silence that held me fast asleep.
This is one of the secrets that makes for good writing in a novel. These words among other's, really do hinder your writing if over-used. When you begin to edit them out and use them correctly if you must, you see a huge difference.
+Desi using certain words doesn't have to be a bad thing. You just have to understand the rule and then bend it to make it work for you. Look at George RR Martin (Game of Thrones writer) he uses 'and' alot, and especially Robin Hobb (Farseer trilogy) she uses "and" even more than he does. It makes their writing more energetic and gives it a really good flow (for the most part).
That's interesting. Regarding filter words, in things I write I use them specifically because the story goes in direct (or subtle) contradiction to what's character see/hear/know/realize. I think a lot of stories are like that
Good list. I'll be combing through my manuscript with these in mind.One of my most frequently used words is "though." I just happen to enjoy turning a sentence on its heels midway through, e.g. "His clothes were made of the finest cloth, though several seasons out of fashion."Someone once pointed out I had a single page with about 10 uses of, though, thought, and through.
I'm Brazilian who feels more comfortable writing my stories in English, so you have no idea how much you've helped. Thank you so much!!!! Great work!!!!
Ctrl + F and my NaNo script while going along with this video really scared me, haha. Lots of editing in the future for me. Found a lot of these in just my first scene. A lot of TH-cam writing vlogers are real fluffy with not a lot of real content, but this is great tangible info. Thank you so much!
When ever I wrote I did feel like I used the phrase “and then” a lot but I didn’t really know how to substitute it and I wasn’t sure what you meant by getting rid of these word but after looking at the post now I get it. Instead of telling the audience the story like we’re at a campfire we should let them experience it as if they were in the story itself. This video helped me a lot thanks!
Thanks! I painted it :) We haven't finished hanging the "real" decorations since our layout will be changing after we buy a new couch. We thought the tiny picture looked funny on the big wall :)
Brilliant video. I had most of the words on my naughty list, but you added a few more that I never considered. My prose needs to be in the best shape possible, so I'm always looking on how to refine it simply be cutting out bad words, thus forcing me to write sentences in a creative way. Thanks!
No, every book doesn't need a prologue. I plan to do a video on this topic, but a prologue is a piece of backstory that contributes to the main story in some way. Clive Cussler always comes to mind, as every one of his Dirk Pitt novels had a prologue. His usually centered on a piece inspired by true events, that would later come into play. I've actually been rethinking the prologue in my novel, but sshhhh! Don't tell anyone!
If I could throw my two cents in:Some people don't bother reading the prologue at all, preferring to get to the story right away.So if the information in the prologue is important, probably best to put it in a chapter.But no book "needs" a prologue. I'd suggest going to your local bookstore and flipping though the new releases of the genre you write to see what published authors are doing nowadays.
My favorite genre is medieval fantasy. They don't usually just have prologue, but they also have prelude. And don't ask me the difference because it is different in each book. x) But I do always read them.
Emi Kawaii Doodle Prologues have long been a staple in fantasy. If I had to bet which random book at the library will have a prologue, I'd put my money on a fantasy. I always read them too. I figure if the author took the time to write it, it's worth my time. But you can't control how readers read. Some people read the last chapter first because they won't enjoy it unless they know the main character prevails at the end. All I mean to say is if the info in the prologue adds to the story, but isn't required reading, then go for it. But if we have to read the prologue in order to understand what's going on, probably best to put it in chapter 1.
I love the way you explain things! I been currently writing my first draft and constantly get discourage about how messy it is. Whenever I try to find some expert advice I'm always left with feeling even more discourage. It was nice to hear from someone who admits that they do the same mistakes that I do and give very useful positive pointers. Thanks so much for this video! I will definitely be subscribing ^^
You say to eliminate "up/down" after saying sit or stand. But you can sit down or sit up, and similarly you can stand up or stand down, and they all have entirely different meanings. So eliminating up and down entirely probably isn't the best idea
I guess she mean only for sit down, rathen than sit up. There's no problem with saying "he sat on his chair." English isn't my mother languages, so I'm not sure what's different between sit up and sit. But yeah... up and down can't someone replaced. (He looked up).
"But we've been stood down," said Sargent Angua, who was wearing a sad feather boa. "Sorry ladies, but it looks like you've been stood up again." Yeah, you gotta be careful. The example comes from Pratchett, a pretty good wordsmith.
It should be pointed out that the first point about 'filter words' is much more for a plot driven story then a character driven one. In a plot driven story your observing the character through an outsiders view while in a character driven, experiencing everything through the character is kind of the point. Basically the character revolves around the plot instead of the plot revolving around the character. So this is just exploring one style of writing
A lot of this is to do with American immigration and culture. German and Yiddish speakers do not differentiate between adjectives and adverbs, and this incorrect usage is incorporated into a lot of American English as a result e.g. "do it real good". Slavs (Poles, Russians etc) do not use articles like "the" at all. The short sentences are due to American media culture. A nation exposed to constant television since the 1950s and a breakdown in community speaks laconically or at least briefly with a torrent of ideas. And their attention spans are shot. Also as a young frontier nation, Americans always have to move onto something new... "We're bored of the old sentence. So move onto a new one." Instead of clauses, new sentences...
Oh it's a Jewish fault now, and the Polish - as a Jewish Polish writer I thank you for your dear comment from all of my heart! THE fact that there isn't "THE" in Polish does not imply that we don't use it in the English language. Actually we have "to" we use it less often. We the emigrarants are able to learn the language, and use all words correctly. Many native English speakers butcher English in most cruel of ways. I've been in America only about eight years and I write and speak better than many native speakers I meet. My English is far from perfect, but the educational institutions should pay more attention to teaching correct English to all native speakers! Stop blaming others for failures of your own educational system... :)
4:39 You give 3 phrases that mean 3 distinct things. Some comments here deal with that. There are lots of ways to write well. These simplistic formulas might help someone who needs to focus on brevity; they could be used as constructive exercises. I think the best way to learn to write is to read lots of good writing, and keep practicing your writing. I've actually found that writing twitter messages and revising them over to be briefer has been a helpful exercise. (Not that I'm recommending that people get on twitter...) If I were to give a single piece of writing advice it would be: *Say exactly what you want to say*. Don't worry what anyone might think of it or whether it's sophisticated enough or makes you sound intelligent enough. When you've written exactly what you want to say, then revise it to be even closer to what you are trying to communicate, if that's possible. The worst thing you can do is to worry about whether it's good or not while you are writing. If you're not good at grammar or spelling, worry about that later. If you don't really know what you want to say stop writing and try to explain it verbally to someone or to yourself. Don't get attached to what you've already written. And especially don't worry that it isn't long enough! "Brevity is the soul of wit." (Shakespeare)
I agree with most of what you said except the adverbs. I think as long as it's not redundant ("He whispered quietly" or "He questioned her questioningly") adverbs are a welcome addition. But those are my two cents on the subject. Otherwise - Great video!
You've got an adorable dog! So to sum it up, avoid writing things in essay-bullet point format, look out for repetition, and spruce up the EXPERIENCE with more live-anecdotal descriptions. Not sure if this makes sense, but hopefully the point clicks.
as a beginner writer, I first thought what the hell is left if I cant use all this but this turned out to be one of the most educating of all. I sit here with my pen and paper taking notes thank you love.
It's good nuts and bolts editing. It's like putting a sentence on a diet, it CAN help to sing a clearer picture. But used too much, and it's like having an anorexic thought. sorry for the slaughtered metaphor.
Saved this video in my Story Study and Writing Advice list. Your collection of word removal caught my eye. I already use at least eight on the list. Thanks for the lesson.
Subscribed! I am aware of some of these words and am so guilty of this. It is sooooooo nice to get a decent list in video form i can come back to and revise my scripts from. This might help me to also quash my vocal crutches too haha.
I know it's fashionable to consider it poor form, but honestly, isn't there a time and place for the passive voice? Can't it be used to subtly shed light on a character's internal state, for example?
Writing advice that says "don't do this" and "don't do that" is simply bad writing advice. Words are tools. Writing fiction is about conveying certain ideas and feelings through text. Good writing advice should tell you what words to use in what situations depending on the goals of a particular part of your text; not simply tell you what you should do. If there was only one way to write there would be no such thing as a good writer, all you'd have to do is follow an instruction manual. What makes someone a good writer is using the correct tools - words - to achieve the desired affect. Writing is all about this kind of decision making. Just ask yourself "what am I trying to convey, and what would be the best way to go about this?"
There are times it is ok OR best to use passive voice, for example, to explain sth quickly or to shorten a too-lengthy paragraph or chapter. You don't always have to SHOW SHOW SHOW. It is ok to tell sometimes, otherwise, you will overburden the reader with too many unnecessary details. The trick is to know when to use active and passive voice, but they are both needed for different purposes. You can simply say "Lara went to the shop to get wine." instead of writing the whole scene about it. Unless, of course, sth important happens in the shop.
I went into this video expecting some absurd personal vendetta against filler words and was pleasantly surprised, both by the presentation and the content. Very good information here, thankfully I've phased out most of these practices but your touching on unnecessary instances of 'the' was helpful. Thank you!
"He held me by the collar and stared at me so, that I *began to think* his first idea about cutting my throat had revived." ("Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens) "Standing at the bottom of the staircase, I *felt* the mildewed air of the feast-chamber, without seeing her open the door, and I *heard* her walking there." (Great Expectations) " He *decided* that he could beat anyone if he wanted to badly enough and he *decided* that it was bad for his right hand for fishing." ("The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Hemingway) "On being made acquainted with the present Mr. Darcy's treatment of him, she tried to *remember* some of that gentleman's reputed disposition when quite a lad which might agree with it, and was confident at last that she recollected having *heard* Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy formerly spoken of as a very proud, ill-natured boy." ("Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen) Damn, Dickens, Austen and Hemingway really can't write! Too bad they couldn't see your video, it would have helped them improve their style.
I think your excerpts highlight the fact that writing has changed significantly since these were written. My tips are for genre fiction and, as mentioned in the video, not every usage of each word should be deleted.
Thank you so much! "The unnecessary storyteller" was a presence in my writing that I've been vaguely aware of for a while, but couldn't really pin down until now. Now I know for certain what the problem is and what to do to fix it. Great video!!
I appreciate that this list includes more than just a couple words. I can look at all these and see if the changes really make a difference in my overall writing. Thanks again!
I, in fact, aspire to be an editor! So you can't imagine how helpful this was! Thank you so much! Most of your advices also apply to Spanish (which is my mother tongue), so this was very useful. 😊
I go ahead and write "only"and "just" in a first draft. but come the final draft, they're gone. might keep a hand full, but even then, only in dialog, and just when appropriate.
I love the fact that you didn't remove the camera falling. I truly enjoy when TH-camrs show they are real people and mistakes happen to. also makes the videos more fun to watch. PS great video gave a thumb 👍 up.
Thank you so much for making these videos. I can't tell you how much they are helping me out, and you are explaining things in a very easy to understand manner without sounding condescending. Thank you.
I went through each word to see how I can improve the first chapter I have written. While I luckily did not do some of these (few adverbs or filter words) But words like "The" and "Of" were used a lot throughout my work. So I was able to improve it a lot because of this video. Still need to rewrite a lot to get rid of over 70 "The"s, though.
May i suggest prowritingaid for editing your work (before giving it to beta readers or professionals) and after your work is on the final draft to doubke if not triple check its a life saver, always have professionals check your work though!
I try to think of a different word to use, or how to structure a sentence in a better way, to avoid using 'suddenly'. Its become something of a game in my recent edit. But now, thanks to this video, I've become conscious of my use of 'the'. Thank goodness for Find and Replace!
Thinking about all these rules doesn't mess with your creative process? Does it still flow? Also...Isn't having all these rules messing with your author voice?
The rules are good to keep in the back of your head as you right, and even better for editing afterwards. Sometimes I catch myself as I draft, but often where I really find my issues is in editing. I don't think it messes with my voice at all.
A balance must be found. As readers we can often tell when the rules aren't being well followed, or followed too tightly. We may not realize why we're put off by some writing, but it might be just that. Of course, every rule is made to be broken and I try not to tell writers "never do this" or "always do that." But the rules were made for a reason as well, so most of us come to a happy balance and hopefully work it out (with the help of Betas etc).
I think this happens to me when I'm writing the way I 'talk' instead writing prose. Listening to the examples outloud didn't catch my attention but when I read them, I saw immediately how much eliminating these filter words improves the flow of the story.
I just found your website and love your list of "filter words" and have posted them up at my computer as a reminder. Am now going back thru your video's. I appreciate your writing, and love these video's.
Good advice. She provides a caveat for each suggestion so Vivien is not suggesting a zombie like deletion. The result is if you follow this advice your manuscript will benefit enormously. Thanks!
I am afraid that if you remove the word that, then the sentence is no longer grammatical. If it was in speech I would definately remove it, because not all speech has to be grammatical, but for non-speech I feel that it is important to keep it. Perhaps grammar does not matter so much in America
"That" and "of." These are technically grammatically necessary, and make sentences easier to translate. Many grammatically and/or punctuationally awful sentences can make sense, but they are still technically incorrect. Consider the following sentence: Know what this means? The correct way to say this would be this: Do you know what this sentence means? The meaning can be figured out, but I'm certain it'd have translation errors if one attempted machine translation, and the object of the word "this" is unclear.
Garret1912 but if you ignore all advice... then you should ignore THAT advice... and accept advice... but that advice tells you not to accept advice... but...
Well, the principle is: Before you learn the rules, you can accomplish certain things that those who know the rules wouldn't generally think to do (see Blue Man Group). But this is very hit-or-miss, because the rules exist for a reason: They're the collected wisdom we've built up over the centuries. So it's good to learn the rules first. And once you understand the rules -- not merely their surface structure but why they exist and what happens when you don't follow them -- then you can make choices about when, where, and how to bend or break them for good effect. As Picasso pointed out, he knew perfectly well how to draw a "proper" figure, so wasn't it his choice at that point to draw in any way he wanted? Because the point is never to just stick to the rules. It is to create things that accomplish the goals you have for them. Sometimes following the rules does that; sometimes you can only accomplish that by breaking the rules. But if you don't understand the rules first, you can't really understand the best way to break them. When I'm writing scenes that depict a panic attack, I start to cut down on proper sentence structure, using more fragments and fewer complex sentences. I also use unreliable narration, because a person going through a panic attack is caught in a state where the brain doesn't respond to logic or reality. (A recent example of my writing: One character says, "It's scary, but it's not gonna kill you." Narration (from POV of the panicking person): This was how he was going to die.) By breaking a few basic rules, I get much closer to the feel of what it's like to have your body react to a threat that isn't even there. If I stuck to proper sentence structure and factual narration, it would be much harder to achieve this. So: Learn the advice, and put it into practice, until you get good enough to know when to follow it and when not to follow it. Wisdom is knowing when to apply different types of advice, and when to throw it out the window.
“Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.” ― Neil Gaiman
Hey Vivian--thanks for the great videos! I am thoroughly am enjoying my discovery of you that I suddenly found this morning, suddenly and then began to watch. It makes me really very happy. :) Cheers!!
oh my goodness I cannot be any more thankful for coming across your channel!!!! I used to write fiction short stories back in high school (i am 27 now) and somehow feel the need to go back to writing. Thanks for sharing these!!!! really helpful!
Wow, I went through all these on your blog, and all of them worked pretty damn good! That paragraph was such an improvement. I takced the list up on my wall. Many thanks
I've been writing small stories since 6th grade and I've always needed tips and tricks I'm so glad I found your channel It's going to help me out a lot
😂 I’m so guilty of using some of these words in my writing. I re-read a few of my old stories, and I cringed whilst reading them out loud. My biggest crime was abusing adverbs. But I know better now. Thank you for this refresher. 💖
I've had this video on my mind all week, and it has inspired me to be a more brutal and efficient writer. So much excess! So many words that I never needed! Thank you.
"Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very";
your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."
-Mark Twain.
This is one of my favourite quotes of all time and I truly think it is fantastic writing advice.
"---- fine coffee"
Or just don’t write “very”
you are very stupid
Operation Doomsday he did hahaha, I just remembered
"Really" & "very" weakens...
*Camera drop*
Me : stability ?? 🤔😂😂
The words alone caused the tripod to weaken.
Notice how the previous point said ‘more punches, less words’. She was trying to wake us up. I see you Reis, I see you.
These words were spoken by a true author
😂😂😂
So let me just get this out.
Fucking, thank you. I have been trying to figure out what makes my writing so awkward for the past year and no real article or even self searching and studying has told me directly what I've been doing wrong to my manuscript.
Instant sub. Thank you.
look up 'nail on the head' writing. fixes clunky writing, fast.
Don't feel bad. I bought the Chicago Manual of Style to tell me this cause I couldn't find it online. So yeah...and you know what. I still don't listen. I think it's worse that i know but don't stop myself. Still a good book to have for reference.
I meant "on the nose" www.jerryjenkins.com/my-best-writing-tip-for-the-new-year/
Michal K, thanks for sharing that link. Such a nice person! Go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back for me.
Michal K Thank you. THANK YOU. I thought today would be so unproductive because I was feeling sluggish but then I followed this link for that mind-blowing revelation. This will help me so much, although it'll be a pain to overhaul my entire book when I plan to publish in summer. X'D
Why can’t my idea for a book just magically flow from my brain to the computer with perfect grammar and punctuation? 😂😭
It happens.
If that were possible all people in the world would be writers, but one has to sweat it, and real talents are rare
I wish 😭
(Remove the word "just" from your sentence.)
I use mental interface software. Sentences appear on the screen having already passed through Grammarly.
That's what editing is for. Don't let that discurage you from writing. Fix it later ^^
OK So if deleted every word you mentioned from my Novel and this is what I have left.
"The Boy now has a blue jacket, run home to mum.......'
THE END
You're not supposed to delete every word 😊
The fact that your nickname is "Plato" makes the joke even funnier.
you can get rid of the "the".
So Plato.... You're saying the title of this vid should be "How to turn your novel into a short story in one easy lesson"?
Plato 😂😂😂😂😢
Unlike most writers, I love the editing process. Seeing my story go from blah to great is such a satisfying feeling. :)
Right?????
Well, I wouldn't say my stuff is great, but I do like burying something I've written for a year or two, then going back to read it afresh and edit. If I've left it long enough, it doesn't even feel like something I've written and any plot holes, errors or over-used words become obvious.
Oh my lord... editing my mess is going to be a pain 😂
Same here D:
Dreamcatcher OML SAME😒
same here :C
But soooooo worth it.
Use the find function, if using software on a digital format. ^_^
For years my father has been telling me that my writing bothers him because it sounds like someone telling the story as opposed to experiencing it. Thanks to your video, I think I understand a little more now.
I BUTCHER the use of 'however' and 'but'. They are practically thrown all over my writing, so when I saw they weren't really on the list, I not only felt a bit relieved, but also quite amused. That being said, now that I'm nearly done my first chapter, I have quickly realized that I have a tremendous amount of filler words to cut out. Oh boy, this is gunna be fun. But at least I watched this video before I went ahead and did the entire novel. O_o Now THAT would've been painful.
Madelynn Richard Haha, that's why authors go through their novels so many times, you can't possibly get everything in the first couple of edits.
Pft, I can't even get everything in a damn essay let alone a 200-400 page novel. XDDD
Madelynn Richard lol, I often don't even want to try! Looking at what I've written and all the problems with it just makes me feel hopeless sometimes.
Saaaaaaaaaaaame!! XDD Sometimes ignorance IS a bliss when it comes to writing. XDD I mean, if it's for yourself, as long as you enjoy what you're doing then I think that's all you really need. XDD
You favor adjectives. "practically, bit, quite, nearly, quickly, tremendous..." You're very descriptive and on the right path, but try eliminating some adjectives and replace the noun or verb with a more descriptive word. Brevity is clean and provides that "punch per word" ratio thingy she mentioned. Good luck Madelynn!!
So glad I watched this video - now I finally know what I'm doing wrong. It seems to me like English writing is the exact opposite to German writing...
English: Deliver your information in a short and precise manner, leave out any unnecessary words, avoid adverbs and overly complicated sentence structures.
German: Make that sentence longer! LONGER I said! Why use three words to describe this when you could use TEN?! If that sentence doesn't cover at least half a page and includes 15 commas or more you can pack your things and leave!
Clearly Germans have retained their literacy. Anglophones have had ours cut, along with the ideas that have become inconvenient to our way of life.
Really? That's interesting. So it is considered good form to always use "dass" even when it can be omitted. So "Ich weiss, dass ich ein guter Schreiber bin" is better than "Ich weiss, ich bin kein guter Schreiber"?
Question, when would a German use daß Vs dass, is it an age thing? Or a dialect thing
Damo2690 there was a big spelling reform (20 or so years ago) and ever since then daß does not exist any more. It is always written as dass now. But it is pronounced the same.
However dass and das are not the same thing, they both exist and are also pronounced the same way.
The irony is this is probably why I enjoy German-language books translated to English so much. When people say what's the difference, I've always said I love the voice that comes through. Long sentences ftw!
Passive voice can be effective in conveying an array of emotions.
It can also slow the story down, which is a good thing for pacing. We don't need action packed sentences every time. Sometimes, the character really does experience things passively.
"That" is good for separating sentencing fragments. They are like verbal commas, and help the reader to hold on to the ideas better until the end of the sentence is over.
It exists in the English language for a reason, I don't get the hate for passive voice.
‘My dog got hit by a car.’
No one gives a crap about the car. They care about my dog (I hope).
I use passive voice when I want to show that my characters are powerless/undergoing something.
But can it be MORE effective than active voice? Hardly ever.
“Don't tell me how Lucy felt, let me experience it.”
New found lesson.
Most of these are just style choices, not rules. I find writing that's devoid of these "unnecessary" words to be just as grating as writing that's bogged down with them. In my opinion, when you cut out all these words, it messes up the pacing and comes across like the Twitter character limit. As for filter words, whether or not they're bad writing depends entirely on the purpose of the main character; if the protagonist is meant to be an "avatar" or blank slate for the reader to identify with, then filter words are a bad idea. But if the protagonist has a strong personal identity and is meant to be perceived as someone external to the reader, rather than a surrogate for the reader, then stating the protagonist's thoughts and perceptions as matters of fact rather than through filter words can itself enter the territory of bad writing. Filter words can help maintain the distinction between the reader and the protagonist, if author so desires.
A bigger issue, though, is that in the example sentence for "that," cutting the word out would actually be bad writing. The problem with the sentence "It was easy to see the dog was hurt" is that the reader could see the words "It was easy to see the dog" and think the sentence breaks up there, making it seem as if it's meant in the sense "the dog was easy to see," only to get to the end of the sentence and realize that it actually breaks up as "It was easy to see // the dog was hurt," and not "It was easy to see the dog // was hurt." I hope the way I described that made sense, but I'm sure you've had the experience of going into a sentence thinking it breaks up one way or that a word is meant in one sense, only to get to the end of the sentence and realize you were reading it wrong. Rendering it as "It was easy to see *that* the dog was hurt." makes it easier to read, by making it clear where the sentence breaks up. There are plenty of cases of this usage of "that" that don't make it easier to read (such as "I told you that I was going to the store." vs. "I told you I was going to the store.") but in a lot of cases, including your example, "that" is like the Oxford comma: not necessary, but it makes it easier to read.
Oneirophon I appreciated this
I agree about the word "that." In Spanish, it is pretty much always necessary, so I've become used to using it in English too. It just sounds better to me. When I read a sentence like "It was easy to see the dog was hurt," I feel something is missing and often mentally add a "that"
For me THAT is like ice cream. I love putting it everywhere, I think that it adds to the reading instead of subtracting from it. Love your comment ^~^
"The boy began to cry" implies that he's only now starting to cry, where as "the boy cried" implies that the action has both started and concluded.
Yeah, if the action is about to be interrupted, or timing is critically important for some reason, leave "began" alone.
In this example, we're writing in past tense. "The boy cried" would be "The boy cries" in present tense, which does not imply the action has concluded. If we were writing in present tense and use "cried," you would be correct. For this to work in past tense, you would have to use past perfect to say "The boy had cried" to imply the action concluded. Hope that clears things up.
I also think it's heavily dependent on context. There is a big difference between starting to cry and being in the process of crying. Not only is there a visual difference, it also conveys a lot of information about the cause of the tears.
Example: POV character enters a room full of strangers. "A young woman tightly held onto a little boy who cried." only tells me that he is currently crying. I don't know if he was already crying before the POV character entered the room, what triggered it, nothing. He's just crying, that's all.
Contrast that with "A young woman tightly held onto a little boy who started to cry." shows that something just now triggered his tears, either the presence of the POV character or the embrace of the woman.
That kind of thing can be important information. The more prolonged an activity is, the more important time becomes - there is a big difference between "Cheryl climbed the wall." and "Cheryl started to climb the wall." A lot can happen in between!
I hate when people say the noun "began to" verb. It just sounds like kindergarten picture book language.
Sharon Efee I don't know, it just doesn't have the same feel as "began to". As she approached the coffin she began to shake feels better than she shook as she approached the coffin. She shook feels like I'm cheating her of this moment. One conveys a slow buildup while the other is just 'bam' in your face. I like to write the way I talk so maybe that's why the tighter version is unappealing.
3:16 scared the frikin crap out of me.
UnEarthly Ethan haha.. cute
0:50 has a monster in bg
Just is like a crutch for me. I know I use it too much, but I *just* feel like it's the perfect word to use when you're trying to explain something *just* perfectly or trying to get the audience to *just* understand a point. I *just* can't stop!
Wow, just doesn't even feel like a word anymore. Maybe I can stop! *Just* not quite.
I read once that it's a word used a lot by people who have been emotionally abused to the point where they are afraid of taking up space and time.
Simone Streeter Oh.
Try other words to get the same message across? Like 'I simply feel' or 'explain something exactly right' or ''to truly understand'
Simone Streeter *looks at myself*
... Yep, checks out.
"he was just about ready, when..." "he reaped his just rewards" "he wasn't in the mood just now" everything was just great"
you cant just substitute words without changing the tone
... just
I love Vivien's eyes. This is important advice, take note.
DON'T TOUCH MY ADVERBS!
He said adamantly.
*He screamed.
Some languages have fo use them, as there is no other option
Screw adverbs
Daniel you are missing some adverbs in this comment! Don't touch my holy adverbs! or Don't touch harshly my tender adverbs! It would sound so much more dramatic - would it?
Don't take this stuff as gospel. It can be useful but if you enjoy the way you write then write your stories like that. Rules aren't life or death and they can and should be broken when it comes to creating art.
You can break the rules if you have a good reason for doing that. But generally, it's good to stick to the principals.
Creative writing has no rules, only guidelines.
These guidelines definitely aren't gospel, but they will make your writing stronger and more enjoyable to read, creative or not.
CHICKENMCBIGBOI True but what she was saying makes sense.
It's like art agreed, I watch dos and don't on art work using what others advise as guidelines. You ca do what you want but these type of things add growth and in depth progress.
I went on an -ly purge after reading "Self-Editing" and... By the end of it, I felt very silly. I actually had my word processor mark all of my -ly words, and it became comical trying to replace them all with more descriptive verbs. It became a vocabulary contest rather than storytelling and the entire purpose of my story got buried under rather pointless issues of style.
Some of the most loved writing breaks all sorts of "rules." Especially pointless are these most arbitrary rules, like prohibitions against adverbs (including just the -ly adverbs). I will not be that unhappy if I don't reach or please the reading elite. These external attempts to control the styles of other writers to fit into a certain mold goes against the core of creative writing.
Vivien saw the camera falling over and suddenly felt fear. Then she put it back in its place. It was a rather bad, embarrassingly cheap camera.
XD
I am not gay I subbed to you...😏😏😏
Vivien saw the camera falling down over and suddenly she began to feel that she was rather in fear. Then she decided to put the camera back in its place. That camera was a rather bad, embarrassingly very cheap camera.
Here! Corrected!
I find it ironic this video is about cutting unnecesary words, yet she left that part of the video in...
I like the part where the dog scratched its fleas on the sofa...
On the adverbs:
Consider this sentence: "He ran quickly down the stairs".
"Ran quickly" is not a word, it is the definition of a word. To "run quickly" can be called "bolting".
So, "He bolted down the stairs".
Write the word, not the definition of the word you're looking for. Adverbs are generally a way to define a word.
However, a better use of adverb:
""He quickly bolted down the stairs".
In this case, "quickly" stands on its own, it isn't a part of defining or enhacing a verb. In this case, he didn't bolt in a quick way, he started bolting quickly.
OK, sure, perhaps "bolted" implies a quick reaction, not just a quick movement, but you get the point.
Oh wow. I'm nearly finished writing my novel. Watching this video made me realize that I use all of these sooooo often! I also realize now how much work I will have later on.
Great video though! Helpful as always :)
hehem...you used realize
@@alyssadavison4308 Dialogue is an exception to rules, right? 🤷♀️😂
"Suddenly, the camera fell out of nowhere."
Oh boy. I got work to do.
cxvxcv xcvxcvxcv "Camera fell." Is the proper way of saying according to the video.
You already said "out of nowhere" so it's clear the event was unexpected.
heads up there's a jump-scare at 3:16 so skip to 3:32 to avoid it
jesus christ
lmao
Heck fu
Matthew Craig thank you for replying for me
Heck THANKYOU. I owe you my life tbh
LOL i was about to skip and the camera fell and made me jumped ahahha
I noticed that I was doing this by myself already about half of the time. Now that I know what to look for, I can give it that special attention the other half of the time that I do find myself writing these words.
And I do use words like 'almost' or 'really', but mainly to show how unimportant the outcome is, or sometimes even ironically, since I often like to taunt the reader slightly.
Wait, what about dialogue? Characters WOULD say these things.
All rules are off for dialogue. People use language differently so characters should use language differently. They shouldn't sound like each other and they definitely shouldn't sound like you.
I'd think you would want to write in the same way the character from whose perspective you are writing, including if it were an external narrator.
Howling din I'd love to say this is true but it isn't. When characters in a story use bad grammar and speak lazily, people will still call it "bad writing".
But it isn’t! It shouldn’t matter what people think. Besides, those whose opinions you might care about more will know that you are developing a character’s speech.
These rules are more for narration rather than dialogue.
Though try to keep the general feel for the character in what they say. A smart character would try to stay clear of saying anything redundant or technically incorrect that is commonly said- these are called "hypercorrections”.
Oh my! When she said 'even better, say tears welled up in the boy's eyes' but the bit to the side said 'tears welled in the boy's eyes', getting rid of that up made it so much better! This video is genius!
When the camera fell it scared me so much. 😱
Yeah... not quite the effect it could have. :) The camera fell from its perch on my nightstand abruptly shattering the silence that held me fast asleep.
Me too hahahaha i'm shocked
dammit, how bout a little spoiler alert next time ...now i'm going to know it's coming.
itsellieclarke SAME
itsellieclarke it happened at the same time I read this
This is one of the secrets that makes for good writing in a novel. These words among other's, really do hinder your writing if over-used. When you begin to edit them out and use them correctly if you must, you see a huge difference.
I use "and then" a lot, I've been going back and cutting them out for a while.
Nuyi Saolvie I use and a lot. Like almost every line
+Desi using certain words doesn't have to be a bad thing. You just have to understand the rule and then bend it to make it work for you. Look at George RR Martin (Game of Thrones writer) he uses 'and' alot, and especially Robin Hobb (Farseer trilogy) she uses "and" even more than he does. It makes their writing more energetic and gives it a really good flow (for the most part).
although I suppose every line is a bit much lol
That's interesting. Regarding filter words, in things I write I use them specifically because the story goes in direct (or subtle) contradiction to what's character see/hear/know/realize. I think a lot of stories are like that
Good list. I'll be combing through my manuscript with these in mind.One of my most frequently used words is "though." I just happen to enjoy turning a sentence on its heels midway through, e.g. "His clothes were made of the finest cloth, though several seasons out of fashion."Someone once pointed out I had a single page with about 10 uses of, though, thought, and through.
Haha, we all have our own favorite writing words! Most of us don't realize until we're in the editing process, too. Happy editing!
I'm Brazilian who feels more comfortable writing my stories in English, so you have no idea how much you've helped. Thank you so much!!!! Great work!!!!
Ctrl + F and my NaNo script while going along with this video really scared me, haha. Lots of editing in the future for me. Found a lot of these in just my first scene. A lot of TH-cam writing vlogers are real fluffy with not a lot of real content, but this is great tangible info. Thank you so much!
Grauwelt *Cough *Cough
When ever I wrote I did feel like I used the phrase “and then” a lot but I didn’t really know how to substitute it and I wasn’t sure what you meant by getting rid of these word but after looking at the post now I get it. Instead of telling the audience the story like we’re at a campfire we should let them experience it as if they were in the story itself. This video helped me a lot thanks!
sidenote, I love the random, lone hanging picture of fruit in the background.
Thanks! I painted it :) We haven't finished hanging the "real" decorations since our layout will be changing after we buy a new couch. We thought the tiny picture looked funny on the big wall :)
Brilliant video. I had most of the words on my naughty list, but you added a few more that I never considered. My prose needs to be in the best shape possible, so I'm always looking on how to refine it simply be cutting out bad words, thus forcing me to write sentences in a creative way. Thanks!
Q: Do every book need a prologue? What's the difference between a prologue and a first chapter? You are amazing! keep up the great work. :)
No, every book doesn't need a prologue. I plan to do a video on this topic, but a prologue is a piece of backstory that contributes to the main story in some way. Clive Cussler always comes to mind, as every one of his Dirk Pitt novels had a prologue. His usually centered on a piece inspired by true events, that would later come into play. I've actually been rethinking the prologue in my novel, but sshhhh! Don't tell anyone!
Thank you for the explanation. Your plan to make a video on this would be a cool idea.
If I could throw my two cents in:Some people don't bother reading the prologue at all, preferring to get to the story right away.So if the information in the prologue is important, probably best to put it in a chapter.But no book "needs" a prologue. I'd suggest going to your local bookstore and flipping though the new releases of the genre you write to see what published authors are doing nowadays.
My favorite genre is medieval fantasy. They don't usually just have prologue, but they also have prelude. And don't ask me the difference because it is different in each book. x) But I do always read them.
Emi Kawaii Doodle Prologues have long been a staple in fantasy. If I had to bet which random book at the library will have a prologue, I'd put my money on a fantasy. I always read them too. I figure if the author took the time to write it, it's worth my time. But you can't control how readers read. Some people read the last chapter first because they won't enjoy it unless they know the main character prevails at the end. All I mean to say is if the info in the prologue adds to the story, but isn't required reading, then go for it. But if we have to read the prologue in order to understand what's going on, probably best to put it in chapter 1.
I love the way you explain things! I been currently writing my first draft and constantly get discourage about how messy it is. Whenever I try to find some expert advice I'm always left with feeling even more discourage. It was nice to hear from someone who admits that they do the same mistakes that I do and give very useful positive pointers. Thanks so much for this video! I will definitely be subscribing ^^
You say to eliminate "up/down" after saying sit or stand. But you can sit down or sit up, and similarly you can stand up or stand down, and they all have entirely different meanings. So eliminating up and down entirely probably isn't the best idea
She was obviously referring to a specific context. Use your common sense.
I guess she mean only for sit down, rathen than sit up. There's no problem with saying "he sat on his chair." English isn't my mother languages, so I'm not sure what's different between sit up and sit. But yeah... up and down can't someone replaced. (He looked up).
"But we've been stood down," said Sargent Angua, who was wearing a sad feather boa.
"Sorry ladies, but it looks like you've been stood up again."
Yeah, you gotta be careful. The example comes from Pratchett, a pretty good wordsmith.
Gosh - I have a lot of work - but I am new to your posting and finding them really relatable and clear. Thank you.
It should be pointed out that the first point about 'filter words' is much more for a plot driven story then a character driven one. In a plot driven story your observing the character through an outsiders view while in a character driven, experiencing everything through the character is kind of the point. Basically the character revolves around the plot instead of the plot revolving around the character. So this is just exploring one style of writing
Like your videos. No small talk, no reading of large texts. You leave it to be downloaded!
A lot of this is to do with American immigration and culture. German and Yiddish speakers do not differentiate between adjectives and adverbs, and this incorrect usage is incorporated into a lot of American English as a result e.g. "do it real good". Slavs (Poles, Russians etc) do not use articles like "the" at all.
The short sentences are due to American media culture. A nation exposed to constant television since the 1950s and a breakdown in community speaks laconically or at least briefly with a torrent of ideas. And their attention spans are shot. Also as a young frontier nation, Americans always have to move onto something new... "We're bored of the old sentence. So move onto a new one." Instead of clauses, new sentences...
Oh it's a Jewish fault now, and the Polish - as a Jewish Polish writer I thank you for your dear comment from all of my heart! THE fact that there isn't "THE" in Polish does not imply that we don't use it in the English language. Actually we have "to" we use it less often. We the emigrarants are able to learn the language, and use all words correctly. Many native English speakers butcher English in most cruel of ways. I've been in America only about eight years and I write and speak better than many native speakers I meet. My English is far from perfect, but the educational institutions should pay more attention to teaching correct English to all native speakers! Stop blaming others for failures of your own educational system... :)
4:39 You give 3 phrases that mean 3 distinct things. Some comments here deal with that.
There are lots of ways to write well. These simplistic formulas might help someone who needs to focus on brevity; they could be used as constructive exercises. I think the best way to learn to write is to read lots of good writing, and keep practicing your writing. I've actually found that writing twitter messages and revising them over to be briefer has been a helpful exercise. (Not that I'm recommending that people get on twitter...)
If I were to give a single piece of writing advice it would be: *Say exactly what you want to say*. Don't worry what anyone might think of it or whether it's sophisticated enough or makes you sound intelligent enough. When you've written exactly what you want to say, then revise it to be even closer to what you are trying to communicate, if that's possible.
The worst thing you can do is to worry about whether it's good or not while you are writing. If you're not good at grammar or spelling, worry about that later. If you don't really know what you want to say stop writing and try to explain it verbally to someone or to yourself. Don't get attached to what you've already written. And especially don't worry that it isn't long enough!
"Brevity is the soul of wit." (Shakespeare)
for now I'll keep all the words, but this will be helpful in the future! thanks for the videos.
You're welcome! Thanks for watching!
I agree with most of what you said except the adverbs. I think as long as it's not redundant ("He whispered quietly" or "He questioned her questioningly") adverbs are a welcome addition. But those are my two cents on the subject.
Otherwise - Great video!
Wait, so uh... All the times I've been told how to add words everywhere I could in school, it's just bullshit?
I watched this then went back to writing and immediately noticed a huge improvement. Thank you for this.
You've got an adorable dog! So to sum it up, avoid writing things in essay-bullet point format, look out for repetition, and spruce up the EXPERIENCE with more live-anecdotal descriptions. Not sure if this makes sense, but hopefully the point clicks.
as a beginner writer, I first thought what the hell is left if I cant use all this but this turned out to be one of the most educating of all. I sit here with my pen and paper taking notes thank you love.
It's good nuts and bolts editing. It's like putting a sentence on a diet, it CAN help to sing a clearer picture. But used too much, and it's like having an anorexic thought.
sorry for the slaughtered metaphor.
My thoughts were pressing too hard against your computer. Those two words were the two words on my mind....really and very. THAT was too weird.
OMGG i've been searching everywhere for a person who regularly makes videos to help writers improve :'))))) thank you so mucchhh
3:16
"The camera falling to her lap scared her."
"She flinched at the fallen camera."
Saved this video in my Story Study and Writing Advice list. Your collection of word removal caught my eye. I already use at least eight on the list. Thanks for the lesson.
You're so welcome! Thanks for watching :)
I like the dog in the back. And also are there any books you wrote????
Vivien Reis I'll try and read it!
That's exciting!
So, was it published?
Yeah I wanna read it!
"Books you have written". ...
Subscribed! I am aware of some of these words and am so guilty of this. It is sooooooo nice to get a decent list in video form i can come back to and revise my scripts from. This might help me to also quash my vocal crutches too haha.
I know it's fashionable to consider it poor form, but honestly, isn't there a time and place for the passive voice? Can't it be used to subtly shed light on a character's internal state, for example?
EyeLean5280 Its all subjective.
Writing advice that says "don't do this" and "don't do that" is simply bad writing advice. Words are tools. Writing fiction is about conveying certain ideas and feelings through text. Good writing advice should tell you what words to use in what situations depending on the goals of a particular part of your text; not simply tell you what you should do. If there was only one way to write there would be no such thing as a good writer, all you'd have to do is follow an instruction manual. What makes someone a good writer is using the correct tools - words - to achieve the desired affect. Writing is all about this kind of decision making. Just ask yourself "what am I trying to convey, and what would be the best way to go about this?"
There are times it is ok OR best to use passive voice, for example, to explain sth quickly or to shorten a too-lengthy paragraph or chapter. You don't always have to SHOW SHOW SHOW. It is ok to tell sometimes, otherwise, you will overburden the reader with too many unnecessary details. The trick is to know when to use active and passive voice, but they are both needed for different purposes. You can simply say "Lara went to the shop to get wine." instead of writing the whole scene about it. Unless, of course, sth important happens in the shop.
This is one of the best short videos on writing tips I've even watched!
Suddenly, a minute passed.
Shakes McTremens .
Yeah 😮😂
I went into this video expecting some absurd personal vendetta against filler words and was pleasantly surprised, both by the presentation and the content. Very good information here, thankfully I've phased out most of these practices but your touching on unnecessary instances of 'the' was helpful. Thank you!
"He held me by the collar and stared at me so, that I *began to think* his first idea about cutting my throat had revived." ("Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens)
"Standing at the bottom of the staircase, I *felt* the mildewed air of the feast-chamber, without seeing her open the door, and I *heard* her walking there." (Great Expectations)
" He *decided* that he could beat anyone if he wanted to badly enough and he *decided* that it was bad for his right hand for fishing." ("The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Hemingway)
"On being made acquainted with the present Mr. Darcy's treatment of him, she tried to *remember* some of that gentleman's reputed disposition when quite a lad which
might agree with it, and was confident at last that she recollected having *heard* Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy formerly spoken of as a very proud, ill-natured boy." ("Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen)
Damn, Dickens, Austen and Hemingway really can't write! Too bad they couldn't see your video, it would have helped them improve their style.
I think your excerpts highlight the fact that writing has changed significantly since these were written. My tips are for genre fiction and, as mentioned in the video, not every usage of each word should be deleted.
Thank you so much! "The unnecessary storyteller" was a presence in my writing that I've been vaguely aware of for a while, but couldn't really pin down until now. Now I know for certain what the problem is and what to do to fix it. Great video!!
SO glad I watched this before writing much of my novel, or I'd likely go on to write a mess of clunky pompous prose.
I appreciate that this list includes more than just a couple words. I can look at all these and see if the changes really make a difference in my overall writing. Thanks again!
FYI: Jump scare at 3:16!
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Something with less jumpcuts.
I, in fact, aspire to be an editor! So you can't imagine how helpful this was! Thank you so much! Most of your advices also apply to Spanish (which is my mother tongue), so this was very useful. 😊
I find myself using "suddenly" in like every other sentence 😭
I go ahead and write "only"and "just" in a first draft. but come the final draft, they're gone. might keep a hand full, but even then, only in dialog, and just when appropriate.
I love the fact that you didn't remove the camera falling. I truly enjoy when TH-camrs show they are real people and mistakes happen to. also makes the videos more fun to watch. PS great video gave a thumb 👍 up.
Why would I write everything in past tense? Especially if a character is experiencing something in present time.
Thank you so much for making these videos. I can't tell you how much they are helping me out, and you are explaining things in a very easy to understand manner without sounding condescending. Thank you.
Aww, this makes me so happy!
With all the constant cuts, you couldnt cut out the section of you dropping the camera. Why?
I went through each word to see how I can improve the first chapter I have written. While I luckily did not do some of these (few adverbs or filter words) But words like "The" and "Of" were used a lot throughout my work. So I was able to improve it a lot because of this video. Still need to rewrite a lot to get rid of over 70 "The"s, though.
See, I didn't realize you can feel like that, but now I know how to decide. Notice me senpai.
May i suggest prowritingaid for editing your work (before giving it to beta readers or professionals) and after your work is on the final draft to doubke if not triple check its a life saver, always have professionals check your work though!
I struggle using "that" all the time
Me too! My editor added some back (that made sense) but I was still like NOOOO! It's the devil!
I try to think of a different word to use, or how to structure a sentence in a better way, to avoid using 'suddenly'. Its become something of a game in my recent edit. But now, thanks to this video, I've become conscious of my use of 'the'. Thank goodness for Find and Replace!
Thinking about all these rules doesn't mess with your creative process? Does it still flow? Also...Isn't having all these rules messing with your author voice?
The rules are good to keep in the back of your head as you right, and even better for editing afterwards. Sometimes I catch myself as I draft, but often where I really find my issues is in editing. I don't think it messes with my voice at all.
I wonder what if there is a good balance with all the rules. I also wonder if the reader will get tired.
A balance must be found. As readers we can often tell when the rules aren't being well followed, or followed too tightly. We may not realize why we're put off by some writing, but it might be just that. Of course, every rule is made to be broken and I try not to tell writers "never do this" or "always do that." But the rules were made for a reason as well, so most of us come to a happy balance and hopefully work it out (with the help of Betas etc).
That should be the next video. :) Finding the balance.
I think this happens to me when I'm writing the way I 'talk' instead writing prose. Listening to the examples outloud didn't catch my attention but when I read them, I saw immediately how much eliminating these filter words improves the flow of the story.
I've always feared redundancy when it comes to writing....this helped a lot. thanks.
Ava Jae (Bookish Pixie) just made a similar video last month. I never really thought about Filter Words before.
I just found your website and love your list of "filter words" and have posted them up at my computer as a reminder. Am now going back thru your video's. I appreciate your writing, and love these video's.
I'm so glad I could help!
But wait. Adverbs are good. There's a reason adverbs are one of the eight parts of speech.
Also, I see the doggo in the background. ^.^
Good advice. She provides a caveat for each suggestion so Vivien is not suggesting a zombie like deletion. The result is if you follow this advice your manuscript will benefit enormously. Thanks!
I am afraid that if you remove the word that, then the sentence is no longer grammatical. If it was in speech I would definately remove it, because not all speech has to be grammatical, but for non-speech I feel that it is important to keep it. Perhaps grammar does not matter so much in America
I'm so bad at being concise; this is going in the favorites so I can find it all of the millions of times I need to watch it.
Don't confuse less and fewer now ;)
This is the first video on writing that's completely applied to my writing and given me concrete, usable advice. Thanks!!
"That" and "of." These are technically grammatically necessary, and make sentences easier to translate. Many grammatically and/or punctuationally awful sentences can make sense, but they are still technically incorrect. Consider the following sentence:
Know what this means?
The correct way to say this would be this:
Do you know what this sentence means?
The meaning can be figured out, but I'm certain it'd have translation errors if one attempted machine translation, and the object of the word "this" is unclear.
I have watched 2 of your videos and have helped me understand what I have to do to write a great novel.
I will have to watch more of your videos.
Best advice is to ignore all advice. Lee Child
Garret1912 in my opinion that sounds very naive
Garret1912 but if you ignore all advice... then you should ignore THAT advice... and accept advice... but that advice tells you not to accept advice... but...
Well, the principle is: Before you learn the rules, you can accomplish certain things that those who know the rules wouldn't generally think to do (see Blue Man Group). But this is very hit-or-miss, because the rules exist for a reason: They're the collected wisdom we've built up over the centuries.
So it's good to learn the rules first. And once you understand the rules -- not merely their surface structure but why they exist and what happens when you don't follow them -- then you can make choices about when, where, and how to bend or break them for good effect. As Picasso pointed out, he knew perfectly well how to draw a "proper" figure, so wasn't it his choice at that point to draw in any way he wanted?
Because the point is never to just stick to the rules. It is to create things that accomplish the goals you have for them. Sometimes following the rules does that; sometimes you can only accomplish that by breaking the rules. But if you don't understand the rules first, you can't really understand the best way to break them.
When I'm writing scenes that depict a panic attack, I start to cut down on proper sentence structure, using more fragments and fewer complex sentences. I also use unreliable narration, because a person going through a panic attack is caught in a state where the brain doesn't respond to logic or reality. (A recent example of my writing: One character says, "It's scary, but it's not gonna kill you." Narration (from POV of the panicking person): This was how he was going to die.) By breaking a few basic rules, I get much closer to the feel of what it's like to have your body react to a threat that isn't even there. If I stuck to proper sentence structure and factual narration, it would be much harder to achieve this.
So: Learn the advice, and put it into practice, until you get good enough to know when to follow it and when not to follow it. Wisdom is knowing when to apply different types of advice, and when to throw it out the window.
“Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.”
― Neil Gaiman
That's incredibly bad advice. Though, ironically enough, this advice works well when applied to itself.
Hey Vivian--thanks for the great videos! I am thoroughly am enjoying my discovery of you that I suddenly found this morning, suddenly and then began to watch. It makes me really very happy. :) Cheers!!
Less is more.
oh my goodness I cannot be any more thankful for coming across your channel!!!! I used to write fiction short stories back in high school (i am 27 now) and somehow feel the need to go back to writing. Thanks for sharing these!!!! really helpful!
3:33 Trump Words....
Wow, I went through all these on your blog, and all of them worked pretty damn good! That paragraph was such an improvement. I takced the list up on my wall. Many thanks
I've been writing small stories since 6th grade and I've always needed tips and tricks I'm so glad I found your channel It's going to help me out a lot
😂 I’m so guilty of using some of these words in my writing. I re-read a few of my old stories, and I cringed whilst reading them out loud.
My biggest crime was abusing adverbs. But I know better now.
Thank you for this refresher. 💖
okay I HAD to watch this video because your eyes were so intensely glaring at me to watch it and cleanse my story of any sin. thanks!
I've had this video on my mind all week, and it has inspired me to be a more brutal and efficient writer. So much excess! So many words that I never needed! Thank you.