One thing that helps me when I’m depressed is to wear a scent from my days when I was happy. It could be perfume , soap or even a lotion. You smell it and it can give you endorphins remembering the happy time. I have suffered from real depression and this has worked for me. Sorry to hear of your struggles Katie but thanks for sharing.
Please remember those of us with permanent movement disorders from prescribed meds, EPS, Dystonia, Tardive Dyskinesia, Parkinson's Disease, I have all these from meds ... And Akathisia.
I talk to a therapist and she does absolutely nothing to help me. All of these mental illness "professionals" care about is the money. They couldn't care less about what happens to me or anyone else.
I'm currently trying to study a diploma of counselling but also coming to terms with the fact that i may have ADHD & BPD. I hope it is possibly for people like me to work in this field as all i want is to be able to help people.
Thank you for sharing your story, Kati! I agree with you....therapists who have worked through depression and other issues have the ability to understand their clients better and can offer more empathy than someone who hasn't had that type of experience. You're amazing at what you do and I'm so thankful that our paths crossed. You're a shining light to so many people. Love you!
Thank you Kati for clarifying the difference between BEING depressed vs having DEPRESSION!... It's usually the older generations that misunderstand the two...
I went through a bout of depression a few years ago due to a traumatic job loss. I did everything I was supposed to do & what I recommend to others (exercised several times a week, went to therapy & support groups, reached out to friends, happy light every morning, made a routine, set reasonable goals, etc) and to be honest, it don’t make me feel any better at the time and I really had to fake my way through it but I found that my bout of depression went away in an extremely short amount of time (weeks instead of the months). These actions didn’t make me feel better at the time but putting in the work made all the difference in the long run
Thank you for sharing Kati. My depression symptoms were similar to yours, minus the body aches but I also found myself extremely lonely yet I didn’t want to be around anyone. It was like two different parts of me were going simultaneously. I wanted to be with people yet if I did force myself to interact with anyone I would instantly be annoyed even with my own family or friends. Everything made me mad and I’d flip put over the dumbest things, for example dropping things, losing things, or even having to run the smallest of errands. Fortunately I found the courage to go to the doctor and get on medication now that i’m an adult and can make my own medical decisions. In addition, I also have my best friend to thank for being my “therapist” in the mean time. She was always honest and gave me an outside perspective, even if I didn’t want to hear it or thought she was wrong. She wasn’t, I was just so angry. She truly saved me. I would one day love to try therapy but due to still living with my parents that is currently not an option due to the stigma they have.
That sounds familiar, the whole not wanting to feel alone yet getting annoyed by other people's presence. Since you're legally an adult, can you go to therapy and just not share that with your parents? Maybe do online therapy at a time of day when they're not home, or schedule in person therapy right after work/school so you can just say you worked late or were studying, etc? The sooner you start the sooner you'll be able to get the benefit...
@@rustyjeep2469 it would be nearly impossible. Thanks for the ideas though, I may be able to find a way. Fortunately my medication has been a tremendous help. For now I am taking it one day at a time, and setting small goals that are achievable are helping me to stay motivated. I am also taking more time to do the things I want, and am involving more self care into my daily routine.
I can totally relate to the feeling of being lonely but not wanting to be around anyone. I want friends so badly and yet I'd rather be by myself most of the time.
I am lonely and also hate people at the moment too, lol. Very familiar feeing with depression. I also want to help people with stuff but then feel overwhelmed when they ask.
Thank you for your honest sharing. I’m beginning to think therapists who know the struggle of PTSD, complicated grief, depression-anxiety are most able to have empathy, to avoid treating clients as “lesser” and to help guide others toward healing.
Your video came right on time. I just turned 60 today and it hit me that I’ve never felt normal , always lived in fear, and felt awkward compared to others. Thank you for all the information you put out. I suffer from anxiety and depression since I was born I think. Thanks again for your story.
Omg me 2! 😢I’m crying just hearing you say that..I’m 60 also. I never ever walked into a therapy office. I’ve turned to God all my life, without Him, idk what my life would of been like. I’m married 40 yrs, 4 growns, 7 grandkids. And life you know. But the feeling never went away. God bless us.
Depressed at the moment too, trying not to go into full on breakdown this time around…I try to hold on to the good memories I’ve made since 2005 when I almost died (my own doing) and remember it does eventually get better, there are highs to match the lows, you just gotta go through the hard stuff to appreciate them…good luck!
I’m working on becoming a therapist myself. And I always thought to myself that us therapists can’t feel this way. I always thought it would be hard for them to feel this way. However. I truly understand by watching this channel that, no matter who you are or what occupation you are going for, we are human and can have these emotions. I’ve been pushing through my mental health and continuing my journey to become a therapist! Thank you Kati!
Honestly i’m glad to know that even therapists can struggle. It is a great reminder that we are all human at the end of the day, and is nice to know that they have been there, and truly understand what we go through.
Thank you for sharing Kati. I always felt connected to you when you used the word “we” when talking about mental health issues. I assumed it was simply because you were an exceptional therapist. Now I know it’s because you’re an exceptional therapist who also has experience with mental health issues 💕 you’ve done so much good for this world.
Hi Kati, thank you for sharing your story! I have depression myself. One of the most difficult symptoms for me to deal with is the derealization/dissociation. I feel like a robot sometimes. I also have fatigue, a lack of motivation, etc. Something that helps me cope is spending time with my pets. I love taking my dog for walks.
I struggled with depression in college and again when I had my sons. I had severe postpartum depression both times. I don't really struggle with depression now, but I do struggle a lot with anxiety. Therapy definitely helped me, and I would encourage everyone to seek it out when they need it.
I'm a 20 year old male and going through a bout with depression and existential anxiety, and even though our experiences are different in a number of ways, the language you use to describe your depression is very similar to how I feel right now: "I feel like a passenger in my own life," "I don't want to be the person I am." I have been doing better as of late, though. It's a work in progress. I wish anyone else who is going through this well. Seek help, and please, be patient with yourself and your circumstances. Things get better, but it will take effort! And we all have what it takes to get through this!
You made me tear up at the end when you said just because you have mental health struggled doesn't mean you can pursue a career in that field. I'm a student nurse & struggling with mental health issues. A few of my teachers have told me they see me in mental health but it seems so intimidating & also how can I be in that field when I can't get my own sh*t together, that's how I think
I recognise those depression symptoms in both my parents. My Dad just slee byps while my mother has anger under the surface that comes out in these long, circular rants about basically everyone she knows. For whatever reason, I've escaped that chronic depression. I've had extended period of being down but there was a concrete event associated with it and i think the depression was the normal, understandable reaction rather being a condition.
I discovered that by recognizing my inner child I am much happier. I was never a believer in that concept but it is vital to our whole being. I forgot my childhood almost completely and I am only 25 until I tried to remember the child I used to be. I am going to a school to become a Registered Nurse and it empowers me to help others with empathy.
As a therapist, I so appreciate posts like this. It doesn't make you less of a helper. It gives you insight and empathy. I still struggle with depression and continue to do therapy.
Thanks Kati. I had to take a break from college right before my senior year and that put me in a dark place as well. I had worked so hard to get where I was and I was broke. My friends were all in school and I was alone and I had to work a series of really crappy jobs until I could go back. For as bleak as it was, it was a blessing in disguise because I got to spend time with my grandma before she passed away.
I’m battling depression every day since my 15 year toxic relationship ended with my narcissist ex. I will pray for you. I can see the pain in your face. Plz be strong.
Allowing yourself to be so vulnerable makes me admire you even more. I'm also a MHC and also tend to cry when talking about personal things that are emotional for me. I'm working on not feeling bad about it, and seeing you getting emotional and showing it means a lot to me. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing this! I’m a Social Worker and I feel so many in the field went into it because of personal experience but feel they have to keep that secret due to the internal stigma. You don’t need to self disclose but I hope anyone watching feels seen and less alone as they balance everything throw their way. 💛
Thank you Kati for sharing your story ❤ One of the things that ive learnt thru out recovering from depression is that, we dont necessarily need to find our 'old' self. Because in my experience, being depressed really makes me feel lost and i miss my old-happy-self, and i believe that i have to find it again. But actually, it is okay to lost your old self. you have to find the new you, the person who has survived depressed episodes, the person who has gone thru the hardest thing in our life yet we still holding on and not give up.
I think I've been depressed most of my life. I think my parents have been too and being raised like that had made depression a norm for me. Its hard to know what I enjoy because everything takes so much effort.
I‘m sorry to Hear that, because I can relate. I was depressed Since puberty and thought This is How I am, because I managed to do my stuff. I‘ve Been in therapy for a while now and learned through experience that This is Not my True Self and I feel a lot better now. I Hope This gives you Hope that it can change and that you can get better. Wish you the best :)
"I like you, but you're just not fun to be around." I needed to hear this. My father's been deeply depressed (with the main signs being extreme lethargy and lack of appetite) for the past couple years or so. Couldn't put a finger on what my thoughts/feelings towards him were for ages and ages, but that line really stood out to me. Thanks for the video Kati and keep on making more!👍
Thank You for being here for me Kati. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. I cried along with you and I was listening to every word. I appreciate you so much 🌹
For me I’ll have an eye or muscle twitch and, of course, not sleeping well, then I know something is going on in my life that is not working for me. Also, low appetite and motivation. Luckily, I have always had the habit/discipline to exercise and that helps, though at times had overdone that, (it’s not a cure, but it helps). The answer, often, and it’s not easy, is change. Either yourself, or circumstance. This gives you the ultimate good feeling in human existence, “hope, “ and then you get optimism. Depression, at its core, is pessimism. So, you have to identify what you are pessimistic about, and change or modify it.
You’re brave and so honest. I couldn’t get past your grandfather “bailing” on you when you were at University … what a kick in the gut … You have helped so. many by being so open. God bless you, Kati. ❤️🇨🇦
I never realized how much mental and physical pain I was in due to depression until I woke up from anesthesia after a minor surgical procedure. People say they always feel groggy but I remember feeling like a million bucks, better than I remember feeling in my whole life even. I felt normal.
So relatable on so many levels. I grew up in Washington State, was suicidal in junior high. Pulled through that on my own. Eventually moved to Southern California, started my own self-help business with positive affirmation jewelry because of my childhood struggles, and now I live in Texas too. I can totally relate and parallel to your story.
Thank you for this, and all the insights, expertise, and feelings you've shared! You have definitely helped me hold it together for the last few years! I think I can honestly say that you've helped me from stepping over the ledge more than once. It sounds dumb, but being able to cry with you sometimes has given me a sense of connection when I can't find a friend.
Thanks for sharing, Kati! Bless you. I've been fighting anxiety and depression since 2014 freshman year of high school. I lost so much weight and had bouts of anorexia nervosa. I was 5'10 105 pounds full of skin and bones. I felt defeated depressed and awful. I was told two weeks left to live by doctors. My parents saved me. We are not alone. I will fight to the end!
Kati, thank you so much for sharing you story. I have struggled with depression since I was about 13 yrs old. At times it has taken so much out of me, hit rock bottom and I have felt so alone in dealing with it. You are indeed very strong and you are an inspiration.
Thank you for sharing your story. It means a lot when providers talk about how they have experienced mental health issues and how they deal with it. Thank you soooo much and thanks to Sean for being your calm in the storm.
I thank you for this. I grew up in a emotionally dead and abusive/ violent family and it extends back generations. These videos help me understand myself a little better and also understand why I am the way I am and become a better person through that.
I think that you understand people so well because of what you experienced in first place. Thank you for doing what you do. Thank you for being who you are. Four years ago , in a critical moment of my life , your videos gave me the courage to ask for help. Just thank you.
You are brave and compassionate! Finding you had been a huge blessing for me, and obviously for many others. I realize I'm falling into depression when I find myself numbing out for hours a day by playing games on my phone, eating, etc. ...
Thank you so much for expressing such private information to all of us. Your support means the world to many. We are here for ya. My symptoms were very similar as well. The one thing I wanted to point out that i’m not sure if anyone else experiences but there is a difference between sadness and depression. Sadness can be enjoyable and sometimes painful but it feels like you can feel what needs to be felt were depression for me feels like numbness. You wish you could cry. Beg for sadness but you don’t feel anything until a certain happy or sad thing sets you off and then you explode with tears or anger. Bad example but sadness feels like vomiting, you get it out and move on were depression feels like being nauseous but never getting to the vomit part if that makes any sense
Lack of support in your early college years is something that I could relate to in a MAJOR way. They say a lot of college "kids" get down as they may not have access to the support they need on a regular basis. Thank you soooo much for sharing this. I needed to see and feel a reality check and this really brought it home for me about what actually happened with the stress of college when I had absolutely NO HELP!
I’m struggling with this right now. Torn whether I should go on medication or not. Thank you for sharing❤️ I can’t seem to find anything fulfilling, nothing seems to matter. I’m not going to give up, I have hope that I can beat this
Thanks for sharing with us (: when I’m depressed I get stomach issues like no appetite, I get cold easily, angry, cry a lot, a lot of self hate and negative self talk.
THANK YOU for acknowledging that depression/anxiety can present as anger. That's totally me. It took me a year before I realized I wasn't just "stressed out", and that I needed more help than trying to "calm down". Turns out, I wasn't going to have a heart attack or die. I had panic attacks. Medication has saved my life. Literally.
Hi Kati, thanks so much for sharing. As a person with depression, your video really made me feel more connected with you. It’s sometimes hard to think a therapist/ my therapist is a person and has had similar similar experiences. I have MDD and similarly to you, I lose all my appetite and have little to no energy. I also get a very deep sense of hopelessness and I can often feel that in my body as a a drop in my chest almost like my heart is sinking into my body more trying to hide from the world. Thanks again for sharing, it really helps to know that you can be a professional dispute having depression.
I can so relate. Listening to music on TH-cam definitely helps me out with my mental health issues along with taking my meds and talking with my awesome therapist!!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Kati. It can help so much to see other people being vulnerable with their own stories, especially therapists. It shows we are all human and even the ones who seem to carry the load well can struggle just as much. Depression really started hitting for me during puberty aswell, so when I was 12. Same thing as you- I was getting bullied in school and dealing with so much change ontop of personal traumatic things going on at home. I was in a very, very dark place. I went through a lot of traumatic situations over the years before something inside of me clicked. My suicidal thoughts were no longer thoughts, they were plans and when I was 18, I thought, “I either get help or I end my life because I can’t keep doing this anymore.” So I sought out therapy combined with antidepressants and it truly saved my life. It pulled me out of the dark place that I never thought I could be pulled out from. I felt like a normal human being and it was incredible- colors seemed brighter, food tasted better, I wanted to actually *live*. Without getting into too much detail bc it’s a long story, eventually I had to go off those antidepressants and I stopped therapy and things were stable enough for awhile until 2020. The pandemic hit and 2021 was my last straw. I lost my mom in September of 2021 and that was completely and utterly devastating. I am back in therapy now with a therapist who I truly connect with, somebody who empathizes with me as she lost her mom when she was 23 (and I’m 24). She is incredible and even though I am in that dark place again, it’s not as dark with her help. I am also trying to find the right medication for me again. It is really hard, and sometimes things get harder but then they become beautiful again and I truly believe despite the pain of life- it’s all worth it. There will always be hope. Help is always possible. For anybody who is currently struggling and reading this: there is a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how long that tunnel is and how dim that light may be. It’s there. Please hold on.
Thank you Kati for sharing your story. Depression can affect any age no matter weather you’re young, older, rich or poor. I’m 70. I lost my wife 9 years ago and it’s been an up and down journey since. Even with financial stability and all the world travelling I’ve done I still felt lonely and sad a lot of the time, especially in the last few years. A friend suggested I try counselling. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. Meds made me worse but I discovered a lot more about my childhood and learned acceptance. Thank you.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your story. I know it’s not easy for you, as a chronic pufferfish 🐡, but you sharing your story means more than you know to those of us who’ve shared your struggle ❤️❤️
I believe most of us struggle with mental health issues, just as much as we do with physical ones. It was just so poorly understood for so long that people shunned it and avoided it. I’ve struggled with depression, since I was 10 years old, I struggle with it to this day and try to make my life the best It can be, despite dealing with that. Thank you so much for sharing and for caring enough to help us through this wilderness. You are the best. There are not words to tell you how much you are appreciated.
Thanks a lot Kati for sharing. Currently I’m struggling with a bunch of things (BPD-ptsd-bipolar)including depression which I think is one of the things that affects me the most. I get sad, sleepy, might overeat a lot in short period of time, headaches, pain everywhere, and more. Thank you for showing me that people with mental health issues can overcome it. I totally agreed there’s no better therapist that one that has lived with a mental health issues, it creates more empathy and makes it more believable. I hope someday to be ok, Thanks for inspiring me. Love from Ecuador.
Thanks for sharing. I’ve been going through a bout of depression, and the anger is real. It took me a while to connect two and two together and realize that the anger is just pain. I’ve been trying too hard to ‘keep it together’, but I realized I had just been repressing my true feelings. This video made me feel so validated. Thank you for sharing your story, it means more than I can express.
Thank you Kati, I really needed this right now. I'm in the first year of my Psychology with counselling degree and i got my first essay back that I did God awful on. Recently been really struggling with thoughts that I'm too ill or not good enough to be a therapist because of my personal mental illness. Knowing that you have also been there, your such a role model for me, definitely lifting my mood and giving me some encouragement that I can still do this if I keep working hard. Thank you.
Katie thank you for sharing your story. You're willingness to break down and show emotion. I believe it opens the door for others who may find this difficult. Giving permission by showing it. Not not only just saying it .That's Bringing Down the Walls to allow the tears of relief that lead to letting go for yourself and others to heal.
Thank you for sharing Kati. Your own experiences are probably what make you such a compassionate and effective therapist. Journaling (your suggestion) has kept me sane for the past couple of years.
You moved me so much. And yet my CPTSAD with depression and anxiety stem from very early childhood through high school. At 71 I am finally getting to the core of all my issues. Wow.
I absolutely would look for a therapist who has been down the road I've been on. What makes a good therapist is someone who is good at their job, not someone who hasn't been unwell or hasnt had depression or anxiety. Totally love you Kati. Thank you x
Hi Kati, thank you so much for this sharing. I’m 68 and depression/anxiety has been a constant battle for me since my forties. Then came the pandemic and after more than two years, I feel so worn out by the constant fight to retain some motivation to go thru the day. Have a few friends to keep me afloat but still there’s a certain sense of loneliness I can’t seem to think myself out off, dragging me down. Keep up the good work. Love your videos.
I love that you recognised and own all the shitty things that you felt before like depression, anxiety, loneliness etc. where in spite of those, you are here today, started a sentence with "I'm 68". I am truly inspired by your resiliency to have come this far. In my book, that is a huge win and you are living proof to me that nothing (including shitty feelings) is permanent in life. I guess my point is really about how we should let go and focus on looking forward ie. let go of fighting to retain motivation, and look forward to the time that you no longer feel lonely. Just knowing that anything and everything are not permanent, really gives me a lot of peace.
I'm always so intimidated by therapists because they "don't know what it's like to suffer like real people." So I'm always so grateful when a therapist is vulnerable enough to let us see the human side of them. They are the ones to make the biggest difference. You are one of the best. Thanks.
Thanks and much love Kati. I am disabled with mental illness and can no longer work. I have Borderline, BiPolar and Depression. I am very isolated and lonely. I dont want to bother others with my problems. My biggest issue is hopelessness. I have been fighting mental illness for so long and making slight progress. But often I just give up and I just dont care. It seems like no matter how hard I try, I will never be happy. I have taken DBT and I accept that my life just isnt meant to be a good one.
The fact that you have to struggle against so much, means that those "small steps forward" you take you really work hard for. It's a bigger accomplishment then it might seem or feel. It's the surviving inner struggles that makes a strong person. Keep up the good work of surviving. Happiness can look and feel a lot of different ways. I wish you success in finding more of it.
Thank you so much for sharing. It's so helpful to hear other people's stories especially someone who works as a therapist. My first experience was about the time I started puberty and was a reaction to social issues I was dealing with including bullying and exclusion. Hormones have definitely played a huge part in my ongoing issues. I'm 42 now. I have been taking a prescription for over 20 years and it has been fantastic. I have been in therapy of some kind on and off for a little bit longer. I mostly deal with hopelessness, fatigue, and tearfulness as well. I have worked really hard on being aware of how it affects my thoughts and what triggers those effects and the negative thoughts I get. Self awareness has really been key. I couldn't have gotten this far without the clarity my medication and therapy has brought. Thank you again.
Thank you so much for sharing Kati. I struggle with depression/anxiety and want to become a therapist after high school. I've been in a really terrible state of mind and was just thinking the other day how can I help others when I cant help myself. Your experience has really given me hope that someday I'm going to be a damn good therapist and its possible life can get better.
Girl I'm so glad to have found you! You are so bright, real, kind, intelligent, brave. Thank you for being you and sharing! You have been so helpful to me re understanding all these human issues. Hugs!
Thank you for sharing your story! I wish more therapists were willing to share their own journey too! Sometimes it's hard telling them everything without like at least small reassurance that they've been there too. I know there's rules too, though, and maybe they're just not able to share. You're channel is so encouraging and educational. I'm so grateful I found it 4 years ago. Thank you so much for what you do!
I’m blown away thinking about your mom buying you flowers to cheer you up. I’ve never known anyone who’s mother was that interested in their kid’s wellbeing. It was more like, “why are you being such a pain?” Would be a more typical reaction to being depressed.
Loved this video, Kati. I’ve struggled with depression for over 40 years and it is so draining. I was raised by parents who were basically old school “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” kinda people who thought mental illness was a weakness, an embarrassment that you just don’t talk about. When I started ‘adulting,’ I found a therapist and loved it. Loved having an environment where there was no judgment. It helped me so much. When I go through a particularly hard time, it manifests as wanting to sleep all the time, extreme lethargy, and overeating/over drinking. I raised two daughters essentially on my own and through my struggles, they have seen that these issues are not weakness, but something to discuss and be honest and truthful about. About 10 years ago I got my BPD diagnosis and that was like a lightning bolt. All of a sudden things made sense. Why my life was filled with so much turmoil, why my reactions to things were so extreme, etc. I’m not currently in therapy, but due to recent events with my mother (advancing dementia), I really feel a need. Thank you for the reminder that I need to take care of myself. You’re an angel.
Thank you for sharing this Kati! I find myself in everything you felt, been going to therapy for years, unfortunately I’m feeling it’s slowly getting worse and wonder how much I can still not give up. But you’re so comforting and I’m feeling less alone. In recent live I accidentaly found it and wrote how I feel, you responded and my whole body just got super hyper I started crying bcz of connection I feel and it was then that you just saw me that moment and understood, it felt like a true hug. I hope you’re well and soooo thankful for you❤️🙏🏼
Kati, I've always enjoyed watching your videos and found everything you've shared with us as helpful. I love the way you also talk about mental health, not just the general perspective you have on it, but the way- and I know this has been mentioned by others- you say "we" and "us." I feel supported when I watch your videos even if it's on a topic that doesn't relate to my life directly. I think you sharing this tid bit of information with us really just... almost like deepens the respect we have for you as viewers. I personally have always been wary about people who talk about mental health who haven't experienced things themselves. So, I agree that having gone through those experiences really allows you to be empathetic in a way that even the best therapist in the world can't be. I just really appreciate you sharing it and allowing us to see that side of you. I'll also say that you reassuring us that we can still work in the mental health field despite struggling with our mental health is really something I personally needed to hear. I'm in college right now, restarting my associates because of- similar to you- financial struggles, family backing down the last minute, and having to withdraw from college. I'm pursuing a career in interpretation possibly in the medical field, but deep down I really want to explore becoming a BCBA or a therapist. I just haven't allowed myself to do so because of how much I struggle myself with MDD, PTSD, and BPD. I feel like I'm not in control of myself or my emotions and haven't been for as long as I can remember. So, the reassurance coming from someone like you really means a lot. Again, I really enjoy your content. It's gotten me through some pretty bad nights. I look forward to more content from you. Best of luck managing your anxiety, Kati.
I love to talk about depression and hearing others talk about it. It helps us feel less alone, and it reduces the power it has over us. I use gratitude journals to practice looking for good things, which is hard. Sometimes I list something small like being grateful for clean hair or anything at all that isn't just horrible that day. It also helps to make myself do fun things, even if they're not fun. I struggle with anhedonia really badly. If I feel like a 2, and I do something fun and feel like a 3, I still feel crappy, but maybe less crappy or a slightly different kind of crappy. It was something a Better Help therapist had me doing. A boss of mine also suggested that I write down nice things about myself before preparing for job interviews. It was the most difficult task for me, and I don't think he realizes how much that affected me beyond the professional setting.
Thank you Kati for sharing! I never thought of exactly what my depression has looked like especially from someone on the outside until you mentioned what your friend said to you. For me, my first round of depression looked like a young girl actually having fun. I would go out alot and drink with friends but I would feel like a shell of a human. I would come home and just cry and curl into a ball. I avoided being alone as much as possible because I didn't want to feel the horrible feelings. Now if I slip into depression, I am completely exhausted and I get ill (usually the only time I actually get sick). I get super quiet and don't get a whole lot accomplished. I would say I have more of the traditional effects of depression now than I once did. But to this day people are surprised when I say that I was depressed when I was younger because you would have never realized it on the outside.
I recently started going to therapy for trauma that affected me from being in a bad relationship and it has been affecting my current relationship and me, it’s hard to get up and seek help but it’s worth it, getting help & therapy has helped me so much in the last 3 weeks and these videos help so much knowing that there’s someone who went through it and you feel less alone, you feel okay knowing that some of these things people experience so it’s not just you, thank you Kati
thankyou for being so open about this with us 💗 it really helps to see someone who im sure a lot of us look up to being real and honest about how they have felt in the past, so thanks for everything you do 💕💕💕
When I’m well (between my episodes of severe depression) I collect all the things people say to me that lift me up. I keep their voice recordings, I copy their texts down, I make notes. I put them all in one place. The voice recordings I keep on my phone. They can be the encouragement and comfort and support that I need when I’m first sinking into depression. Once I reach the point where I can’t speak or move, none of this will help. But it can sometimes be enough to help me stop going down that familiar road.
Thank u for sharing your story, Kati. It really means a lot to me. Your channel really offers me a chance to know more about psychology. I was easily angry and tearful when I was in middle school. But unfortunately, the social awareness of mental health was almost none at that time. And my parents especially my father didn't know anything about mental health, keeping supressing my emotions and even got violent when I disobeyed him, and forbidden me to cry. But i couldn't help crying at all so he would humiliate me even got violent. Then in high school it got worse. I couldn't have deep sleep. Slightly noise would wake me up. Fatigue was the symptom too. And I got even angrier. Never occured to me it could be depression, cuz I was always the "outgoing girl" who would laugh the hardest when I was with my friends. But then when I was 23, I had my first panic attack , then it developed into severe agoraphobia that I could't go out at all or even stay at home alone. Then the frustration caused by being housebond worsened my depression. I felt like that I was trapped and couldnt do anything to change it. I still struggle today. The real sad thing is it is almost impossible to find a qualified therapist in my city. There could be many therapists in big cities like shanghai or beijing, but not in mine. Most peolple here dont even know waht mental health is, not to mention reaching out for help. Watching your videos from the internet really helps me so much. Thank u for making all of these amazing content.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart! I would not want to see someone if they could not be honest about their own struggles. Therapists aren't magical people who don't have troubles.
Thank you for sharing. Your honesty is so refreshing. My 19yo daughter suffers from depression . Keeping a gratitude journal helps especially after a tough day. Eating a healthy diet and exercise.
Thanks for sharing your story Kati. It personally helps me a lot. I have a whole therapy garden based on depression. When people see it, it doesn’t exactly look like I should have any problems, but the truth is it is a reflection of the amount of effort I have put into battling depression. It is a personal struggle that nobody understands.
i just bought a book called The Garden Cure. It talks about community gardens and volunteers coming in from all walks of life. Book talks about the correlation btwn tending to a garden and tending to our own depression.
I’ve heard some snippets over the years of your story, where you have been and things that have brought you where you are today. I think that going through hard things like this has made you so much better at your job! I think this is why so many of us watch every week and want to hear more, it’s why so many feel “I wish Kati was my therapist” and not that I would wish any mental illness on anyone ever but I wish more therapists could have a kind of 24 hour life simulation of what it is like. Because it matters. Anyway, thanks again for sharing- for being so vulnerable and transparent.
Love you Kati, your inspiration. I have been following you for a few years and you've helped me have a deeper love for myself and understanding. I am pursuing a career in the mental health field now and 💯% agree it makes us more humble and can relate with love and sympathy on a deeper level! Keep rocking it girl. Love you BIG
Thanks for sharing your story, Kati. I definitely agree that depression can look different on everyone. I have a twin and we both are on the other side depression, but we definitely presented very differently. I do I have one symptom, in addition to my many others, that I am def going to research. I told my therapist that my perception of colors was different when I was depressed (which I’m not even if I am explaining it correctly or if it’s even possible/a thing). It seemed like colors were more muted and dull. Once I started to come out of the other side, I noticed a change in colors’ vibrancy. I called it my version of The Upside Down (term via Stranger Things). I think one thing that has helped me A TON is finding a creative outlet. For so long I just “knew”I wasn’t creative, I was wrong. My creative projects are almost meditative for me. Take care everyone!
I do not know but I like...I can see you are those woman who like to cry if I was your man I was gonna cry with you but I am gland that you are strong and you are able to talk about it God bless you
Thanks Kati for sharing and being vulnerable with us. love u so much❤️
You are so welcome!
@@Katimorton upvote on love
Wait until you lose your power of seduction.😊
Remember to thank the METOO Karens, now men are afraid to give lifting compliments to women anymore.😊
Fix your attitude and stop using depression as a crutch.😊
“He who has suffered, knows suffering and therefore extends his hand”
One thing that helps me when I’m depressed is to wear a scent from my days when I was happy. It could be perfume , soap or even a lotion. You smell it and it can give you endorphins remembering the happy time. I have suffered from real depression and this has worked for me. Sorry to hear of your struggles Katie but thanks for sharing.
One thing that helps me is putting on my favorite clothes , or putting on a comfy pair of new socks, knee highs , seems to give my legs a hug .
Very good idea.it does help.
I have a spray I put on my pillow. It's lavender scent.
@@KittyKatt_Luna80s Oh I love lavender. That’s such a calming scent.
As someone studying to become a mental health professional and struggling with mental illness, this is deeply appreciated ❤️❤️
I feel like that 🥺💘
Please remember those of us with permanent movement disorders from prescribed meds, EPS, Dystonia, Tardive Dyskinesia, Parkinson's Disease, I have all these from meds ...
And Akathisia.
Thank METOO for it....now we can't give lifting compliments to women anymore.😊
I talk to a therapist and she does absolutely nothing to help me. All of these mental illness "professionals" care about is the money. They couldn't care less about what happens to me or anyone else.
I'm currently trying to study a diploma of counselling but also coming to terms with the fact that i may have ADHD & BPD. I hope it is possibly for people like me to work in this field as all i want is to be able to help people.
Thank you for sharing your story, Kati! I agree with you....therapists who have worked through depression and other issues have the ability to understand their clients better and can offer more empathy than someone who hasn't had that type of experience. You're amazing at what you do and I'm so thankful that our paths crossed. You're a shining light to so many people. Love you!
As a teenager with depression, I appreciate you opening up about your experiences. It makes me feel less alone and more hopeful.
Thank you Kati for clarifying the difference between BEING depressed vs having DEPRESSION!... It's usually the older generations that misunderstand the two...
I went through a bout of depression a few years ago due to a traumatic job loss. I did everything I was supposed to do & what I recommend to others (exercised several times a week, went to therapy & support groups, reached out to friends, happy light every morning, made a routine, set reasonable goals, etc) and to be honest, it don’t make me feel any better at the time and I really had to fake my way through it but I found that my bout of depression went away in an extremely short amount of time (weeks instead of the months). These actions didn’t make me feel better at the time but putting in the work made all the difference in the long run
Thank you for sharing Kati. My depression symptoms were similar to yours, minus the body aches but I also found myself extremely lonely yet I didn’t want to be around anyone. It was like two different parts of me were going simultaneously. I wanted to be with people yet if I did force myself to interact with anyone I would instantly be annoyed even with my own family or friends. Everything made me mad and I’d flip put over the dumbest things, for example dropping things, losing things, or even having to run the smallest of errands. Fortunately I found the courage to go to the doctor and get on medication now that i’m an adult and can make my own medical decisions. In addition, I also have my best friend to thank for being my “therapist” in the mean time. She was always honest and gave me an outside perspective, even if I didn’t want to hear it or thought she was wrong. She wasn’t, I was just so angry. She truly saved me. I would one day love to try therapy but due to still living with my parents that is currently not an option due to the stigma they have.
That sounds familiar, the whole not wanting to feel alone yet getting annoyed by other people's presence.
Since you're legally an adult, can you go to therapy and just not share that with your parents? Maybe do online therapy at a time of day when they're not home, or schedule in person therapy right after work/school so you can just say you worked late or were studying, etc? The sooner you start the sooner you'll be able to get the benefit...
@@rustyjeep2469 it would be nearly impossible. Thanks for the ideas though, I may be able to find a way. Fortunately my medication has been a tremendous help. For now I am taking it one day at a time, and setting small goals that are achievable are helping me to stay motivated. I am also taking more time to do the things I want, and am involving more self care into my daily routine.
I can totally relate to the feeling of being lonely but not wanting to be around anyone. I want friends so badly and yet I'd rather be by myself most of the time.
I am lonely and also hate people at the moment too, lol. Very familiar feeing with depression. I also want to help people with stuff but then feel overwhelmed when they ask.
Kayla oh wow. I felt exactly the same way. Lonely with no one. Annoyed with anyone around..I thought it was just me
Thank you for your honest sharing. I’m beginning to think therapists who know the struggle of PTSD, complicated grief, depression-anxiety are most able to have empathy, to avoid treating clients as “lesser” and to help guide others toward healing.
Your video came right on time. I just turned 60 today and it hit me that I’ve never felt normal , always lived in fear, and felt awkward compared to others. Thank you for all the information you put out. I suffer from anxiety and depression since I was born I think. Thanks again for your story.
I can relate. I’ve experienced this all my life. Not every day of it, but often. I’m 71 and in one of the worst depressions ever.
Me too just turned 64
Omg me 2! 😢I’m crying just hearing you say that..I’m 60 also. I never ever walked into a therapy office. I’ve turned to God all my life, without Him, idk what my life would of been like. I’m married 40 yrs, 4 growns, 7 grandkids. And life you know. But the feeling never went away. God bless us.
@@margrose5 I hope you're doing better as I type this on 2/21/23 ❤🌹
@@dadsarepeopletoo3785 Thank you for your kindness. Yes, I am doing better at this time. God bless you.
needed this in the middle of a 2 month long mental breakdown
So sorry 😢
❤️
Depressed at the moment too, trying not to go into full on breakdown this time around…I try to hold on to the good memories I’ve made since 2005 when I almost died (my own doing) and remember it does eventually get better, there are highs to match the lows, you just gotta go through the hard stuff to appreciate them…good luck!
sending you internet stranger hugs 🤗
I'm sorry you're struggling extra right now
Praying you’ll feel better soon🙏🏾💙
I’m working on becoming a therapist myself. And I always thought to myself that us therapists can’t feel this way. I always thought it would be hard for them to feel this way. However. I truly understand by watching this channel that, no matter who you are or what occupation you are going for, we are human and can have these emotions. I’ve been pushing through my mental health and continuing my journey to become a therapist! Thank you Kati!
Honestly i’m glad to know that even therapists can struggle. It is a great reminder that we are all human at the end of the day, and is nice to know that they have been there, and truly understand what we go through.
You don’t just become a therapist but also become a hero you save life
Thanks for sharing your story, Kati, I wish more therapists were as genuine as you seem to be, and as honest about their own battles.
I just picture someone actually loving me. That seems to help
That’s hard to do when you’re depressed. I feel like nobody cares.
Thank you for sharing Kati. I always felt connected to you when you used the word “we” when talking about mental health issues. I assumed it was simply because you were an exceptional therapist. Now I know it’s because you’re an exceptional therapist who also has experience with mental health issues 💕 you’ve done so much good for this world.
Hi Kati, thank you for sharing your story! I have depression myself. One of the most difficult symptoms for me to deal with is the derealization/dissociation. I feel like a robot sometimes. I also have fatigue, a lack of motivation, etc. Something that helps me cope is spending time with my pets. I love taking my dog for walks.
I struggled with depression in college and again when I had my sons. I had severe postpartum depression both times. I don't really struggle with depression now, but I do struggle a lot with anxiety. Therapy definitely helped me, and I would encourage everyone to seek it out when they need it.
I'm a 20 year old male and going through a bout with depression and existential anxiety, and even though our experiences are different in a number of ways, the language you use to describe your depression is very similar to how I feel right now: "I feel like a passenger in my own life," "I don't want to be the person I am."
I have been doing better as of late, though. It's a work in progress. I wish anyone else who is going through this well. Seek help, and please, be patient with yourself and your circumstances. Things get better, but it will take effort! And we all have what it takes to get through this!
You made me tear up at the end when you said just because you have mental health struggled doesn't mean you can pursue a career in that field. I'm a student nurse & struggling with mental health issues. A few of my teachers have told me they see me in mental health but it seems so intimidating & also how can I be in that field when I can't get my own sh*t together, that's how I think
I recognise those depression symptoms in both my parents. My Dad just slee byps while my mother has anger under the surface that comes out in these long, circular rants about basically everyone she knows. For whatever reason, I've escaped that chronic depression. I've had extended period of being down but there was a concrete event associated with it and i think the depression was the normal, understandable reaction rather being a condition.
Thank you Kati!! I really needed this video. you can't imagine how helpful this video is, especially today!!
Glad it was helpful!
I discovered that by recognizing my inner child I am much happier. I was never a believer in that concept but it is vital to our whole being. I forgot my childhood almost completely and I am only 25 until I tried to remember the child I used to be. I am going to a school to become a Registered Nurse and it empowers me to help others with empathy.
As a therapist, I so appreciate posts like this. It doesn't make you less of a helper. It gives you insight and empathy. I still struggle with depression and continue to do therapy.
Thanks Kati. I had to take a break from college right before my senior year and that put me in a dark place as well. I had worked so hard to get where I was and I was broke. My friends were all in school and I was alone and I had to work a series of really crappy jobs until I could go back. For as bleak as it was, it was a blessing in disguise because I got to spend time with my grandma before she passed away.
I’m battling depression every day since my 15 year toxic relationship ended with my narcissist ex. I will pray for you. I can see the pain in your face. Plz be strong.
Allowing yourself to be so vulnerable makes me admire you even more. I'm also a MHC and also tend to cry when talking about personal things that are emotional for me. I'm working on not feeling bad about it, and seeing you getting emotional and showing it means a lot to me. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing this! I’m a Social Worker and I feel so many in the field went into it because of personal experience but feel they have to keep that secret due to the internal stigma. You don’t need to self disclose but I hope anyone watching feels seen and less alone as they balance everything throw their way. 💛
Thank you Kati for sharing your story ❤ One of the things that ive learnt thru out recovering from depression is that, we dont necessarily need to find our 'old' self. Because in my experience, being depressed really makes me feel lost and i miss my old-happy-self, and i believe that i have to find it again. But actually, it is okay to lost your old self. you have to find the new you, the person who has survived depressed episodes, the person who has gone thru the hardest thing in our life yet we still holding on and not give up.
I think I've been depressed most of my life. I think my parents have been too and being raised like that had made depression a norm for me. Its hard to know what I enjoy because everything takes so much effort.
I‘m sorry to Hear that, because I can relate. I was depressed Since puberty and thought This is How I am, because I managed to do my stuff.
I‘ve Been in therapy for a while now and learned through experience that This is Not my True Self and I feel a lot better now. I Hope This gives you Hope that it can change and that you can get better. Wish you the best :)
Important to remember thiers lots of us out their and in other countries and just sharing you're story helps
"I like you, but you're just not fun to be around."
I needed to hear this. My father's been deeply depressed (with the main signs being extreme lethargy and lack of appetite) for the past couple years or so. Couldn't put a finger on what my thoughts/feelings towards him were for ages and ages, but that line really stood out to me.
Thanks for the video Kati and keep on making more!👍
Thank You for being here for me Kati.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story.
I cried along with you and I was listening to every word.
I appreciate you so much 🌹
You are so welcome RayRaya :)
For me I’ll have an eye or muscle twitch and, of course, not sleeping well, then I know something is going on in my life that is not working for me. Also, low appetite and motivation. Luckily, I have always had the habit/discipline to exercise and that helps, though at times had overdone that, (it’s not a cure, but it helps). The answer, often, and it’s not easy, is change. Either yourself, or circumstance. This gives you the ultimate good feeling in human existence, “hope, “ and then you get optimism. Depression, at its core, is pessimism. So, you have to identify what you are pessimistic about, and change or modify it.
You’re brave and so honest. I couldn’t get past your grandfather “bailing” on you when you were at University … what a kick in the gut … You have helped so. many by being so open. God bless you, Kati. ❤️🇨🇦
I never realized how much mental and physical pain I was in due to depression until I woke up from anesthesia after a minor surgical procedure. People say they always feel groggy but I remember feeling like a million bucks, better than I remember feeling in my whole life even. I felt normal.
So relatable on so many levels. I grew up in Washington State, was suicidal in junior high. Pulled through that on my own. Eventually moved to Southern California, started my own self-help business with positive affirmation jewelry because of my childhood struggles, and now I live in Texas too. I can totally relate and parallel to your story.
Thank you for this, and all the insights, expertise, and feelings you've shared! You have definitely helped me hold it together for the last few years! I think I can honestly say that you've helped me from stepping over the ledge more than once. It sounds dumb, but being able to cry with you sometimes has given me a sense of connection when I can't find a friend.
xoxo
Thanks for sharing, Kati! Bless you. I've been fighting anxiety and depression since 2014 freshman year of high school. I lost so much weight and had bouts of anorexia nervosa. I was 5'10 105 pounds full of skin and bones. I felt defeated depressed and awful. I was told two weeks left to live by doctors. My parents saved me. We are not alone. I will fight to the end!
Kati, thank you so much for sharing you story. I have struggled with depression since I was about 13 yrs old. At times it has taken so much out of me, hit rock bottom and I have felt so alone in dealing with it. You are indeed very strong and you are an inspiration.
I love the way you communicate your information. It’s relieving.
I'm so glad :) I appreciate you saying so.
Thank you for sharing your story. It means a lot when providers talk about how they have experienced mental health issues and how they deal with it. Thank you soooo much and thanks to Sean for being your calm in the storm.
I really liked that you talked about your own experience really love it
We support you and love you 💘
Thanks Hayam. xoxo
@@Katimorton you replied to meeee
I loooove uuuuu ❤️
You're a beautiful open soul, thanks for sharing! It's nice to hear those who struggle with depression and are able to overcome it. 😊
I thank you for this. I grew up in a emotionally dead and abusive/ violent family and it extends back generations. These videos help me understand myself a little better and also understand why I am the way I am and become a better person through that.
I think that you understand people so well because of what you experienced in first place.
Thank you for doing what you do.
Thank you for being who you are.
Four years ago , in a critical moment of my life , your videos gave me the courage to ask for help.
Just thank you.
You are brave and compassionate! Finding you had been a huge blessing for me, and obviously for many others. I realize I'm falling into depression when I find myself numbing out for hours a day by playing games on my phone, eating, etc. ...
Thank you Kati, for sharing.
Thanks for watching!
@@Katimorton Of course!
Thank you so much for expressing such private information to all of us.
Your support means the world to many.
We are here for ya.
My symptoms were very similar as well. The one thing I wanted to point out that i’m not sure if anyone else experiences but there is a difference between sadness and depression. Sadness can be enjoyable and sometimes painful but it feels like you can feel what needs to be felt were depression for me feels like numbness. You wish you could cry. Beg for sadness but you don’t feel anything until a certain happy or sad thing sets you off and then you explode with tears or anger.
Bad example but sadness feels like vomiting, you get it out and move on were depression feels like being nauseous but never getting to the vomit part if that makes any sense
Lack of support in your early college years is something that I could relate to in a MAJOR way. They say a lot of college "kids" get down as they may not have access to the support they need on a regular basis. Thank you soooo much for sharing this. I needed to see and feel a reality check and this really brought it home for me about what actually happened with the stress of college when I had absolutely NO HELP!
I’m struggling with this right now. Torn whether I should go on medication or not. Thank you for sharing❤️ I can’t seem to find anything fulfilling, nothing seems to matter. I’m not going to give up, I have hope that I can beat this
I feel you completely it’s been 3-4 years I can’t afford therapy not do I make less to get financial help to go it just sucks
Thanks for sharing with us (: when I’m depressed I get stomach issues like no appetite, I get cold easily, angry, cry a lot, a lot of self hate and negative self talk.
As I’m currently struggling mentally, this gives me hope. Thanks for sharing
THANK YOU for acknowledging that depression/anxiety can present as anger. That's totally me. It took me a year before I realized I wasn't just "stressed out", and that I needed more help than trying to "calm down". Turns out, I wasn't going to have a heart attack or die. I had panic attacks. Medication has saved my life. Literally.
Hi Kati, thanks so much for sharing. As a person with depression, your video really made me feel more connected with you. It’s sometimes hard to think a therapist/ my therapist is a person and has had similar similar experiences. I have MDD and similarly to you, I lose all my appetite and have little to no energy. I also get a very deep sense of hopelessness and I can often feel that in my body as a a drop in my chest almost like my heart is sinking into my body more trying to hide from the world. Thanks again for sharing, it really helps to know that you can be a professional dispute having depression.
I can so relate. Listening to music on TH-cam definitely helps me out with my mental health issues along with taking my meds and talking with my awesome therapist!!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Kati. It can help so much to see other people being vulnerable with their own stories, especially therapists. It shows we are all human and even the ones who seem to carry the load well can struggle just as much. Depression really started hitting for me during puberty aswell, so when I was 12. Same thing as you- I was getting bullied in school and dealing with so much change ontop of personal traumatic things going on at home. I was in a very, very dark place. I went through a lot of traumatic situations over the years before something inside of me clicked. My suicidal thoughts were no longer thoughts, they were plans and when I was 18, I thought, “I either get help or I end my life because I can’t keep doing this anymore.” So I sought out therapy combined with antidepressants and it truly saved my life. It pulled me out of the dark place that I never thought I could be pulled out from. I felt like a normal human being and it was incredible- colors seemed brighter, food tasted better, I wanted to actually *live*. Without getting into too much detail bc it’s a long story, eventually I had to go off those antidepressants and I stopped therapy and things were stable enough for awhile until 2020. The pandemic hit and 2021 was my last straw. I lost my mom in September of 2021 and that was completely and utterly devastating. I am back in therapy now with a therapist who I truly connect with, somebody who empathizes with me as she lost her mom when she was 23 (and I’m 24). She is incredible and even though I am in that dark place again, it’s not as dark with her help. I am also trying to find the right medication for me again. It is really hard, and sometimes things get harder but then they become beautiful again and I truly believe despite the pain of life- it’s all worth it. There will always be hope. Help is always possible. For anybody who is currently struggling and reading this: there is a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how long that tunnel is and how dim that light may be. It’s there. Please hold on.
Thank you for this
Thank you Kati for sharing your story. Depression can affect any age no matter weather you’re young, older, rich or poor. I’m 70. I lost my wife 9 years ago and it’s been an up and down journey since. Even with financial stability and all the world travelling I’ve done I still felt lonely and sad a lot of the time, especially in the last few years. A friend suggested I try counselling. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. Meds made me worse but I discovered a lot more about my childhood and learned acceptance. Thank you.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your story. I know it’s not easy for you, as a chronic pufferfish 🐡, but you sharing your story means more than you know to those of us who’ve shared your struggle ❤️❤️
I agree TK! It has definitely helped me.
T.K. hello long time how have you been how's everything nice to see your name here
@@kayleighdittemore8352 hello it's Nikki do you remember me we met on Kati s videos
@@nikkimckay860 hey! How are you doing! I’ve taken a bit of a break from being in the comments section so I can focus on my own mental health
I believe most of us struggle with mental health issues, just as much as we do with physical ones. It was just so poorly understood for so long that people shunned it and avoided it. I’ve struggled with depression, since I was 10 years old, I struggle with it to this day and try to make my life the best It can be, despite dealing with that. Thank you so much for sharing and for caring enough to help us through this wilderness. You are the best. There are not words to tell you how much you are appreciated.
Hello Yvonne,how are you doing?🌹🌹
Thanks a lot Kati for sharing. Currently I’m struggling with a bunch of things (BPD-ptsd-bipolar)including depression which I think is one of the things that affects me the most. I get sad, sleepy, might overeat a lot in short period of time, headaches, pain everywhere, and more. Thank you for showing me that people with mental health issues can overcome it. I totally agreed there’s no better therapist that one that has lived with a mental health issues, it creates more empathy and makes it more believable. I hope someday to be ok, Thanks for inspiring me. Love from Ecuador.
Thanks for sharing. I’ve been going through a bout of depression, and the anger is real. It took me a while to connect two and two together and realize that the anger is just pain. I’ve been trying too hard to ‘keep it together’, but I realized I had just been repressing my true feelings. This video made me feel so validated. Thank you for sharing your story, it means more than I can express.
Thank you Kati, I really needed this right now. I'm in the first year of my Psychology with counselling degree and i got my first essay back that I did God awful on. Recently been really struggling with thoughts that I'm too ill or not good enough to be a therapist because of my personal mental illness. Knowing that you have also been there, your such a role model for me, definitely lifting my mood and giving me some encouragement that I can still do this if I keep working hard. Thank you.
Out of all the important videos you've made, this is the most important 💚 connection! No one is alone!
THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME TO HAVE YOU SHARE. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Thank you for this. I also struggle with anger as a manifestation of depression or sadness.
Thanks for opening up to us Kati!♥️ Being diagnosed w depression myself, what you’ve said here really resonates. Btw, your mom is AWESOME! 💐💐
Katie thank you for sharing your story. You're willingness to break down and show emotion. I believe it opens the door for others who may find this difficult. Giving permission by showing it. Not not only just saying it .That's Bringing Down the Walls to allow the tears of relief that lead to letting go for yourself and others to heal.
Thank you for sharing Kati. Your own experiences are probably what make you such a compassionate and effective therapist. Journaling (your suggestion) has kept me sane for the past couple of years.
You moved me so much. And yet my CPTSAD with depression and anxiety stem from very early childhood through high school. At 71 I am finally getting to the core of all my issues. Wow.
This is what strength looks like. Thank you for being authentic Kati!
I absolutely would look for a therapist who has been down the road I've been on. What makes a good therapist is someone who is good at their job, not someone who hasn't been unwell or hasnt had depression or anxiety. Totally love you Kati. Thank you x
Hi Kati, thank you so much for this sharing. I’m 68 and depression/anxiety has been a constant battle for me since my forties. Then came the pandemic and after more than two years, I feel so worn out by the constant fight to retain some motivation to go thru the day. Have a few friends to keep me afloat but still there’s a certain sense of loneliness I can’t seem to think myself out off, dragging me down. Keep up the good work. Love your videos.
I love that you recognised and own all the shitty things that you felt before like depression, anxiety, loneliness etc. where in spite of those, you are here today, started a sentence with "I'm 68". I am truly inspired by your resiliency to have come this far. In my book, that is a huge win and you are living proof to me that nothing (including shitty feelings) is permanent in life. I guess my point is really about how we should let go and focus on looking forward ie. let go of fighting to retain motivation, and look forward to the time that you no longer feel lonely. Just knowing that anything and everything are not permanent, really gives me a lot of peace.
@@_helmi Thanks. It's a constant struggle nevertheless. I lucky to have supportive friends also
I'm always so intimidated by therapists because they "don't know what it's like to suffer like real people." So I'm always so grateful when a therapist is vulnerable enough to let us see the human side of them. They are the ones to make the biggest difference. You are one of the best. Thanks.
Thanks and much love Kati. I am disabled with mental illness and can no longer work. I have Borderline, BiPolar and Depression. I am very isolated and lonely. I dont want to bother others with my problems. My biggest issue is hopelessness. I have been fighting mental illness for so long and making slight progress. But often I just give up and I just dont care. It seems like no matter how hard I try, I will never be happy. I have taken DBT and I accept that my life just isnt meant to be a good one.
The fact that you have to struggle against so much, means that those "small steps forward" you take you really work hard for. It's a bigger accomplishment then it might seem or feel. It's the surviving inner struggles that makes a strong person. Keep up the good work of surviving. Happiness can look and feel a lot of different ways. I wish you success in finding more of it.
Thank you so much for sharing. It's so helpful to hear other people's stories especially someone who works as a therapist. My first experience was about the time I started puberty and was a reaction to social issues I was dealing with including bullying and exclusion. Hormones have definitely played a huge part in my ongoing issues. I'm 42 now. I have been taking a prescription for over 20 years and it has been fantastic. I have been in therapy of some kind on and off for a little bit longer. I mostly deal with hopelessness, fatigue, and tearfulness as well. I have worked really hard on being aware of how it affects my thoughts and what triggers those effects and the negative thoughts I get. Self awareness has really been key. I couldn't have gotten this far without the clarity my medication and therapy has brought. Thank you again.
Thank you so much for sharing Kati. I struggle with depression/anxiety and want to become a therapist after high school. I've been in a really terrible state of mind and was just thinking the other day how can I help others when I cant help myself. Your experience has really given me hope that someday I'm going to be a damn good therapist and its possible life can get better.
Girl I'm so glad to have found you! You are so bright, real, kind, intelligent, brave. Thank you for being you and sharing! You have been so helpful to me re understanding all these human issues. Hugs!
Thank you for sharing your story! I wish more therapists were willing to share their own journey too! Sometimes it's hard telling them everything without like at least small reassurance that they've been there too. I know there's rules too, though, and maybe they're just not able to share. You're channel is so encouraging and educational. I'm so grateful I found it 4 years ago. Thank you so much for what you do!
I would want to engage in small talk and hear about their perception and relativity if they have any but guess that’s not how it works
I’m blown away thinking about your mom buying you flowers to cheer you up.
I’ve never known anyone who’s mother was that interested in their kid’s wellbeing. It was more like, “why are you being such a pain?” Would be a more typical reaction to being depressed.
Loved this video, Kati. I’ve struggled with depression for over 40 years and it is so draining. I was raised by parents who were basically old school “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” kinda people who thought mental illness was a weakness, an embarrassment that you just don’t talk about. When I started ‘adulting,’ I found a therapist and loved it. Loved having an environment where there was no judgment. It helped me so much. When I go through a particularly hard time, it manifests as wanting to sleep all the time, extreme lethargy, and overeating/over drinking. I raised two daughters essentially on my own and through my struggles, they have seen that these issues are not weakness, but something to discuss and be honest and truthful about. About 10 years ago I got my BPD diagnosis and that was like a lightning bolt. All of a sudden things made sense. Why my life was filled with so much turmoil, why my reactions to things were so extreme, etc. I’m not currently in therapy, but due to recent events with my mother (advancing dementia), I really feel a need. Thank you for the reminder that I need to take care of myself. You’re an angel.
Thank you for sharing this Kati! I find myself in everything you felt, been going to therapy for years, unfortunately I’m feeling it’s slowly getting worse and wonder how much I can still not give up. But you’re so comforting and I’m feeling less alone. In recent live I accidentaly found it and wrote how I feel, you responded and my whole body just got super hyper I started crying bcz of connection I feel and it was then that you just saw me that moment and understood, it felt like a true hug. I hope you’re well and soooo thankful for you❤️🙏🏼
Idk how much this has helped me, but Journaling everyday does give me a task to discuss my feelings in my own unique way outside of my head
Kati, I've always enjoyed watching your videos and found everything you've shared with us as helpful. I love the way you also talk about mental health, not just the general perspective you have on it, but the way- and I know this has been mentioned by others- you say "we" and "us." I feel supported when I watch your videos even if it's on a topic that doesn't relate to my life directly. I think you sharing this tid bit of information with us really just... almost like deepens the respect we have for you as viewers. I personally have always been wary about people who talk about mental health who haven't experienced things themselves. So, I agree that having gone through those experiences really allows you to be empathetic in a way that even the best therapist in the world can't be. I just really appreciate you sharing it and allowing us to see that side of you. I'll also say that you reassuring us that we can still work in the mental health field despite struggling with our mental health is really something I personally needed to hear. I'm in college right now, restarting my associates because of- similar to you- financial struggles, family backing down the last minute, and having to withdraw from college. I'm pursuing a career in interpretation possibly in the medical field, but deep down I really want to explore becoming a BCBA or a therapist. I just haven't allowed myself to do so because of how much I struggle myself with MDD, PTSD, and BPD. I feel like I'm not in control of myself or my emotions and haven't been for as long as I can remember. So, the reassurance coming from someone like you really means a lot. Again, I really enjoy your content. It's gotten me through some pretty bad nights. I look forward to more content from you. Best of luck managing your anxiety, Kati.
I love to talk about depression and hearing others talk about it. It helps us feel less alone, and it reduces the power it has over us.
I use gratitude journals to practice looking for good things, which is hard. Sometimes I list something small like being grateful for clean hair or anything at all that isn't just horrible that day.
It also helps to make myself do fun things, even if they're not fun. I struggle with anhedonia really badly. If I feel like a 2, and I do something fun and feel like a 3, I still feel crappy, but maybe less crappy or a slightly different kind of crappy. It was something a Better Help therapist had me doing.
A boss of mine also suggested that I write down nice things about myself before preparing for job interviews. It was the most difficult task for me, and I don't think he realizes how much that affected me beyond the professional setting.
Thank you Kati for sharing! I never thought of exactly what my depression has looked like especially from someone on the outside until you mentioned what your friend said to you. For me, my first round of depression looked like a young girl actually having fun. I would go out alot and drink with friends but I would feel like a shell of a human. I would come home and just cry and curl into a ball. I avoided being alone as much as possible because I didn't want to feel the horrible feelings. Now if I slip into depression, I am completely exhausted and I get ill (usually the only time I actually get sick). I get super quiet and don't get a whole lot accomplished. I would say I have more of the traditional effects of depression now than I once did. But to this day people are surprised when I say that I was depressed when I was younger because you would have never realized it on the outside.
I recently started going to therapy for trauma that affected me from being in a bad relationship and it has been affecting my current relationship and me, it’s hard to get up and seek help but it’s worth it, getting help & therapy has helped me so much in the last 3 weeks and these videos help so much knowing that there’s someone who went through it and you feel less alone, you feel okay knowing that some of these things people experience so it’s not just you, thank you Kati
thankyou for being so open about this with us 💗 it really helps to see someone who im sure a lot of us look up to being real and honest about how they have felt in the past, so thanks for everything you do 💕💕💕
When I’m well (between my episodes of severe depression) I collect all the things people say to me that lift me up. I keep their voice recordings, I copy their texts down, I make notes. I put them all in one place. The voice recordings I keep on my phone. They can be the encouragement and comfort and support that I need when I’m first sinking into depression. Once I reach the point where I can’t speak or move, none of this will help. But it can sometimes be enough to help me stop going down that familiar road.
Thank u for sharing your story, Kati. It really means a lot to me. Your channel really offers me a chance to know more about psychology. I was easily angry and tearful when I was in middle school. But unfortunately, the social awareness of mental health was almost none at that time. And my parents especially my father didn't know anything about mental health, keeping supressing my emotions and even got violent when I disobeyed him, and forbidden me to cry. But i couldn't help crying at all so he would humiliate me even got violent. Then in high school it got worse. I couldn't have deep sleep. Slightly noise would wake me up. Fatigue was the symptom too. And I got even angrier. Never occured to me it could be depression, cuz I was always the "outgoing girl" who would laugh the hardest when I was with my friends. But then when I was 23, I had my first panic attack , then it developed into severe agoraphobia that I could't go out at all or even stay at home alone. Then the frustration caused by being housebond worsened my depression. I felt like that I was trapped and couldnt do anything to change it. I still struggle today. The real sad thing is it is almost impossible to find a qualified therapist in my city. There could be many therapists in big cities like shanghai or beijing, but not in mine. Most peolple here dont even know waht mental health is, not to mention reaching out for help. Watching your videos from the internet really helps me so much. Thank u for making all of these amazing content.
I hope you are feeling better now
I've gotten the same symptoms but mostly through anxiety. Like i can't breath. And then i just loose my appetite. Therapy is a must. 💜
Thank you so much for sharing your heart! I would not want to see someone if they could not be honest about their own struggles. Therapists aren't magical people who don't have troubles.
Thank you for sharing. Your honesty is so refreshing. My 19yo daughter suffers from depression . Keeping a gratitude journal helps especially after a tough day. Eating a healthy diet and exercise.
We are all HUMAN and I've always said the strongest of us also have weaknesses and its recognising what them weaknesses are. Thanks for sharing Kati
agree completely Andy!
@@DrLeifSmith thanks Pal 😀
Thanks for sharing your story Kati. It personally helps me a lot. I have a whole therapy garden based on depression. When people see it, it doesn’t exactly look like I should have any problems, but the truth is it is a reflection of the amount of effort I have put into battling depression. It is a personal struggle that nobody understands.
i just bought a book called The Garden Cure. It talks about community gardens and volunteers coming in from all walks of life. Book talks about the correlation btwn tending to a garden and tending to our own depression.
Thank you so much for being so open. You've truly restored some hope within me by sharing your story. Wishing you happiness & peace.✌️
The lived experience of mental health issues in counsellors makes them brilliant therapists. Thank you so much for sharing your journey of healing.
I’ve heard some snippets over the years of your story, where you have been and things that have brought you where you are today. I think that going through hard things like this has made you so much better at your job! I think this is why so many of us watch every week and want to hear more, it’s why so many feel “I wish Kati was my therapist” and not that I would wish any mental illness on anyone ever but I wish more therapists could have a kind of 24 hour life simulation of what it is like. Because it matters. Anyway, thanks again for sharing- for being so vulnerable and transparent.
Love you Kati, your inspiration. I have been following you for a few years and you've helped me have a deeper love for myself and understanding. I am pursuing a career in the mental health field now and 💯% agree it makes us more humble and can relate with love and sympathy on a deeper level! Keep rocking it girl. Love you BIG
Thanks for sharing your story, Kati. I definitely agree that depression can look different on everyone. I have a twin and we both are on the other side depression, but we definitely presented very differently.
I do I have one symptom, in addition to my many others, that I am def going to research. I told my therapist that my perception of colors was different when I was depressed (which I’m not even if I am explaining it correctly or if it’s even possible/a thing). It seemed like colors were more muted and dull. Once I started to come out of the other side, I noticed a change in colors’ vibrancy. I called it my version of The Upside Down (term via Stranger Things).
I think one thing that has helped me A TON is finding a creative outlet. For so long I just “knew”I wasn’t creative, I was wrong. My creative projects are almost meditative for me.
Take care everyone!
I do not know but I like...I can see you are those woman who like to cry if I was your man I was gonna cry with you but I am gland that you are strong and you are able to talk about it God bless you